913 Day Unpotty Training Update

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

Today is my two year anniversary wearing diapers fulltime.  Happy unpotty training day to me.  It has been a journey of many twists and turns with a lot of diaper leaks.  So where am I at today since I started going potty in my pants again?

I would say I am most definitely diaper dependant at this point from a mental standpoint.  I feel completely naked without a diaper on and feel even uncomfortable when bathing.  Feeling padding between my legs has become a necessity for my psyche.  Despite my mental need to be continuously diapered I do have regrets sometimes mainly in regards to my marriage.  I recently shared this with a prominent member on this board who offered great and very sound advice.  It is most definitely hard for a female partner to accept this about her husband and I honestly at times felt my wife did not deserve such a burden.  After a lot of thought the reality is I know in my mind, heart, and soul I could never be happy without wearing diapers.

My relationship with my wife in a non sexual sense and my marriage is better than it has ever been.  Before making this choice it was so hard to be open and honest with my wife about wearing diapers.  Now it is a normal part of life and we can communicate about diapers completely.  The bedroom is a different story.  My wife has turned mostly asexual due to my decision which has been very challenging.

Physically it is hard to tell what my bladder is doing.  Sometimes I feel as if I was not wearing a diaper my panties would be wet.  Other times I feel like my baldder can hold my pee pee just fine.  Sometimes I continuously pee pee in my diaper and other times I completely flood my diaper.  I am not sure why my bladder control seem so erratic.  Often times I leak pee pee involuntarily particularly after a bowel movent or diaper change.  Drips are often wiped off the toilet seat and my protective panties.  At the same time I cannot tell if I am leaking pee pee into my diaper.  As far as I know I have not wet involuntarily at night either.  You most definitely cannot snap your fingers and lose control of your bladder.  

I have settled on a regular diaper, ABU Simples.  Recently I have made the switch to ABU Simple Ultras as my diaper leaks a lot less wearing these.  I still will get the uncontrollable need at times to wear pink diapers and have to wear a Rearz Princess or DC Amor diaper.  Luckily I do not feel the need to wear pink diapers all the time now which makes wearing diapers so much easier particularly when changing in public.

There are plenty more details I will not bore you guys with.

[Diapered Dave]

So your wife isn't seeing her boyfriend anymore?? That was definitely an interesting part of your life's story, being your wife's cuckold...

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

Nope.  That ship sailed, for now at least.

[scaifester]

Mark,

     I know several people with heavy incontinence and choose to wear diapers. These people do not enjoy wearing their diapers but they choose to because of severe urge incontinence. They will wear lighter protection such as pullon underwear at work with a bathroom readily available. However they will wear a tabbed diaper when they are out (shopping, driving) and an available toilet is not predictable or close. 

   Have you tried not wearing diapers either at home or if you are brave enough when you go out? That would be a true test of how incontinent you have become. See what happens if you feel the urge to use the bathroom but realize the nearest toilet is not close and see what happens. 

[ppdude]

27 minutes ago, scaifester said:

Mark,

     I know several people with heavy incontinence and choose to wear diapers. These people do not enjoy wearing their diapers but they choose to because of severe urge incontinence. They will wear lighter protection such as pullon underwear at work with a bathroom readily available. However they will wear a tabbed diaper when they are out (shopping, driving) and

In the beginning, I was conflicted and went through that path finally moving to a heavier capacity that could keep me dry and less "bothered". A little over a year ago, I moved up the rung again to an even "larger" diaper to help reduce skin irritation.

I have to admit that when it became an issue, I was both thrilled that I now had a "legitimate"  reason to wear diapers and therefore justified; and at the same time frightened. I would be committed to diapers for the rest of my life with little or no acceptable options. I have "evolved" and now believe one can wear diapers for any reason they choose. That makes it legitimate.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

It has been awhile since I have posted any updates here so I thought this thread was about due.  Tonight I decided to experiment how far I have advanced becoming unpotty trained.  I sat down and had a few drinks with a coworker for less than a half hour.  Upon standing up I felt an immediate urge to pee pee.  I headed to my room and removed my diaper in the bathroom.  I proceeded to walk ten times back and forth from wall to wall in the bathroom.  I was startled to see how much pee pee I leaked onto the floor.  I could feel my legs getting wet but it was honestly difficult to even tell I was wetting.  Please see the first attached pictures.  The last picture it what happened when I was standing at the sink and passed gas.  Just like with post void dribble I had a completely involuntary release of pee pee in a rather large amount.

I am not sure if this means I am now officially diaper dependant and am officially incontinent or if my mind is simply playing tricks on me.  I most definitely experience involuntary pee pee release at times.

With all this said I still do not wet uncontrollably at night.  This makes me believe I am not incontinent.  I am honestly ready to have no control.  I have now committed years of my life to becoming unpotty trained and yet I still cannot manage to wet the bed so to speak.  I have never experimented with catheters or stents but I am almost wondering if that should be my next plan.

On the home front my wife is still understanding and accepting of my decision to become unpotty trained.  It is a normal part of our marriage now.  She has had ups and downs as far as participation as a Mommy which I grown to understand. 

Not really much else to report other than I am currently out of diapers and have had to resort to store brand diapers in Mexico.  Somehow my protective panties were able to contain the leaking today.

[oznl]

Assuming this was an outcome you were looking for, congratulations!

I think if I found myself at the point you are at now, I would probably consult with a Dr.  Partly to get a diagnosis on my record and avoid discussions or awkwardness further down the road when I’d be likely to find myself in hospital or before practitioners for one thing or another and partly to make sure there was nothing more sinister lurking behind my lack of control.  Have you done that or considered doing it?

Coming up to a year since I first started with 24/7 (not withstanding a 4 week break back in March).

For the most part, I’m still in charge of things during the day but they’re different.

Ironically, it’s night that seems to be at some kind of tipping point for me.  I’m finding myself more and more often waking up wet with no recollection of having done it.  I have an irrational belief that this is about me not waking up “enough” to remember rather than not waking at all.  In start contrast to day wetting which is still something I need to think about from time to time, nights have been a painless, comfortable gentle descent.

I was never a bedwetter as a child but all my siblings were: go figure.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

2 hours ago, oznl said:

Assuming this was an outcome you were looking for, congratulations!

 

I think if I found myself at the point you are at now, I would probably consult with a Dr.  Partly to get a diagnosis on my record and avoid discussions or awkwardness further down the road when I’d be likely to find myself in hospital or before practitioners for one thing or another and partly to make sure there was nothing more sinister lurking behind my lack of control.  Have you done that or considered doing it?

 

Coming up to a year since I first started with 24/7 (not withstanding a 4 week break back in March).

 

For the most part, I’m still in charge of things during the day but they’re different.

 

Ironically, it’s night that seems to be at some kind of tipping point for me.  I’m finding myself more and more often waking up wet with no recollection of having done it.  I have an irrational belief that this is about me not waking up “enough” to remember rather than not waking at all.  In start contrast to day wetting which is still something I need to think about from time to time, nights have been a painless, comfortable gentle descent.

 

I was never a bedwetter as a child but all my siblings were: go figure.

 

My doctor already has recorded my incontinence.  As far as she knows I do not want to seek any treatment of any kind and I am completely fine with wearing diapers the rest of my life.  I assume this is enough to have documented for an impromptu hospital visit but I do not really know.

[Rob110]

 Some times diapers are the best solution to deal with incontinence issues and like you I have no problems being diapered for the rest of my life to deal with it as meds or surgery is just not an option I would consider. 

I look at the convenience side of being diapered to help accept the fact I need to wear them 24/7 no more searching for a washroom or panicking if stuck in traffic and I need to pee

 

[TGalactic2012]

On 6/5/2018 at 5:17 AM, ozziebee said:

I'm at a stage now Mark, just within the last few days actually, where I'm feeling almost constant urges, and almost constant tiny releases.  If I stand up, I'll wet.  

Two nights ago, I woke up to what I thought was the end of a wet.

Then that afternoon(Sunday), I had a sleep, had just changed my nappy, and about 3 hours later woke up to a wet butt.  I had to change about three hours later as I'd soaked that nappy.

Then last night, I was being woken up to these tiny releases all night.  They're not squirts, just the odd drop or two, but fairly constant.  I would wake up to a fair bit of pain then too. 

Today, all day, I've been getting the same tiny little releases, at work into my nappy, and now sitting in front of the computer typing this out, same thing. 

Conversely, I'm finding that my wetting in bed is getting harder and harder.  Same with wetting whilst lying on the lounge.  And I directly attribute this to my weak bladder and/or strictures.  It's getting to the stage where the bladder really can't start evacuating without gravity support.  Lying down, i'm finding it hard to start a wee now.  I have to relax more and more and more.

I'm really excited for these developments though.  Only last week was I lamenting not having gone anywhere continence-wise.  Fast-forward, and bam I've crossed another bridge without even thinking of it.  Have I crossed the line yet?  I don't know.

Yes, I have a medical problem causing my IC, but I've come to actually enjoy this experience, see nappies and the sensations and lack of control as part of me.  i'd be really disappointed in myself if I had to "go back".

Keep up the reports, I enjoy reading yours.

Ditto

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

I was asked by @oznl about my level of control at this point of my unpotty training so I thought I would give an update.

To be honest I feel I have plateaued physically on this unpotty training adventure.  With my bladder in particular, I seem to be leaking less pee pee now involuntarily, post void dribbling is much less than in the past, and I still have not been able to become a bedwetter.  

I have always had involuntary fecal leakage since I was a child.  I guess in a way because of this leakage I really already had a form of incontinence.  My leakage has definitely worsened since diaper training began.  When removing my dirty diaper from work yesterday I was surprised about how much my bowels had leaked and I honestly had no idea.  I could honestly see myself loosing control of my bowels if I continue to unpotty train myself before my bladder ever decides to give up.

I believe the hardest thing about taking my diapers off now would be the mess in my pants and not the wet spot of pee pee running down my legs.  When all this began I wanted my bladder control lost and if I really want to have a loss of control I may need to shift my focus to my bowels.

Becoming fecal incontinent will be much different for me.  My wife is against it but does know my bowels become looser and looser everyday.  She is prepared for me to become fecal incontinent.  Work is what I fear the most with fecal incontinence.  Loss of bladder control can be easily hidden but there is no mistaking a messy diaper.

After all this time I feel maybe it's time to take my diapers off.  Of course I would still wear them but if I cannot become unpotty trained what is the point in wearing them all the time. 

With all this said I find myself still putting myself in a diaper this morning as I get ready for work.

[oznl]

Thanks for the update.  It’s always interesting to hear from others further down the road as to what the terrain there might look like.

Although I will now wake up either wet or at least wetter than I can remember a couple of nights per week, my suspicion is that this may just be sufficient habituation to using them to not fully wake up.

During the day, I also sometimes wonder if I’ve actually reverted somewhat.  It seems lately that I’m only wetting when I stop and think about it.  There’s loads of post-void dripping going on but it might be I could stop that if I tried.

Have you considered just going without diapers for a day to see what happens?  I must consider the possibility that I’m using my diapers more than I recall during the day.  It seems I'm always pretty wet by change time, wetter than I could recall making myself sometimes.  There's been a few times that it might be a waste of a diaper to change but it wasn't.  The tech in me demands that I measure something, I just don’t have the opportunity at home to do that right now so I stay diapered.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

1 hour ago, oznl said:

Thanks for the update.  It’s always interesting to hear from others further down the road as to what the terrain there might look like.

 

Although I will now wake up either wet or at least wetter than I can remember a couple of nights per week, my suspicion is that this may just be sufficient habituation to using them to not fully wake up.

 

During the day, I also sometimes wonder if I’ve actually reverted somewhat.  It seems lately that I’m only wetting when I stop and think about it.  There’s loads of post-void dripping going on but it might be I could stop that if I tried.

 

Have you considered just going without diapers for a day to see what happens?  I must consider the possibility that I’m using my diapers more than I recall during the day.  It seems I'm always pretty wet by change time, wetter than I could recall making myself sometimes.  There's been a few times that it might be a waste of a diaper to change but it wasn't.  The tech in me demands that I measure something, I just don’t have the opportunity at home to do that right now so I stay diapered.

 

I feel I could easily go without a diaper for a day as far as my bladder.  I would be uber embarrassed though if I had fecal leakage into my panties as I would smell all day.  I suppose I could wear a maxi pad.

[Hannah YMS]

On 2/15/2018 at 7:07 AM, DiaperedAllTheTime said:

So I have noticed something new recently.  Everytime I change into a new diaper and I instantly feel pee pee starting to move through my wee wee.  I am not trying to wet myself in any way and it seems to be an involuntary reaction.  Has anyone experienced this before during their unpotty training process?

The same thing happens to me all the time! It's like I think I've emptied my bladder before I change into a new diaper, but as soon as I put it on, give or take a few minutes, and WOOSH, out comes more!

[Hannah YMS]

On 6/20/2018 at 8:30 AM, DiaperedAllTheTime said:

As my continence begins to fade away I am transitioning into a place mentally that worries less and less about who knows.  People like us do not suffer from incontinence we embrace it and I am starting to realize that.

I needed to hear this just now. I'm beginning to realize I'm in transition right now from being someone who pretends to be incontinent, to identifying as someone who is incontinent, and at the same time starting to diaper train as per the 12 month program (again). Well said.

[iluvmydiapers]

On 4/1/2020 at 8:02 AM, DiaperedAllTheTime said:

I was asked by @oznl about my level of control at this point of my unpotty training so I thought I would give an update.

To be honest I feel I have plateaued physically on this unpotty training adventure.  With my bladder in particular, I seem to be leaking less pee pee now involuntarily, post void dribbling is much less than in the past, and I still have not been able to become a bedwetter.  

I have always had involuntary fecal leakage since I was a child.  I guess in a way because of this leakage I really already had a form of incontinence.  My leakage has definitely worsened since diaper training began.  When removing my dirty diaper from work yesterday I was surprised about how much my bowels had leaked and I honestly had no idea.  I could honestly see myself loosing control of my bowels if I continue to unpotty train myself before my bladder ever decides to give up.

I believe the hardest thing about taking my diapers off now would be the mess in my pants and not the wet spot of pee pee running down my legs.  When all this began I wanted my bladder control lost and if I really want to have a loss of control I may need to shift my focus to my bowels.

Becoming fecal incontinent will be much different for me.  My wife is against it but does know my bowels become looser and looser everyday.  She is prepared for me to become fecal incontinent.  Work is what I fear the most with fecal incontinence.  Loss of bladder control can be easily hidden but there is no mistaking a messy diaper.

After all this time I feel maybe it's time to take my diapers off.  Of course I would still wear them but if I cannot become unpotty trained what is the point in wearing them all the time. 

With all this said I find myself still putting myself in a diaper this morning as I get ready for work.

I myself have gone through all the stages of diaper retraining, from early childhood all I wanted was to have to wear diapers, and I wore diapers as often as I could growing up in a house with 10 children, me being the 3rd oldest .

At the young age of 18 I decided it was time to put myself back into diapers for good, this did not go well with my new wife, we divorced a year later.

Way back in the 1980's adult diapers where not all that good but I still wantee nothing more than to need to wear diapers so my diaper retraining continued.

Today I can report my diaper retraining is complete, by that I mean when I am wearing diapers I have no control of when I wet or mess my diaper,  yet I can go days without a diaper and have no wetting or messing accidents as long as I head to a restroom as soon as I feel the need to poop or pee.

 

[Diapered Dave]

On 11/23/2020 at 8:19 AM, iluvmydiapers said:

I myself have gone through all the stages of diaper retraining, from early childhood all I wanted was to have to wear diapers, and I wore diapers as often as I could growing up in a house with 10 children, me being the 3rd oldest .

At the young age of 18 I decided it was time to put myself back into diapers for good, this did not go well with my new wife, we divorced a year later.

Way back in the 1980's adult diapers where not all that good but I still wantee nothing more than to need to wear diapers so my diaper retraining continued.

Today I can report my diaper retraining is complete, by that I mean when I am wearing diapers I have no control of when I wet or mess my diaper,  yet I can go days without a diaper and have no wetting or messing accidents as long as I head to a restroom as soon as I feel the need to poop or pee.

 

How about at night? Do you wet the bed? With a diaper, without a diaper?

[iluvmydiapers]

18 hours ago, Diapered Dave said:

How about at night? Do you wet the bed? With a diaper, without a diaper?

If I wear a diaper to bed it is always wet when I wake up, I dont remember wetting the diaper as I sleep.