When Kids (of all ages) Love Diapers

[Angela Bauer]

Let me be upfront for those unfamiliar with my life history:

I am a woman born in 1964 into a family in which female descendants of my maternal Granny Vi's mother have a history of bladder control problems. By the time I was born my mother Alice, her sister Aunt Betsy and their mother Granny Vi were totally urinary incontinent. Probably this was true for all of Granny's sisters and her other daughters whom I never got to know very well. I've had no bladder control since I was 21. The same is true for my 3 sisters and Aunt Betsy's daughter. Just a few of the male descendents, such as my younger brother and Betsy's older son, have bladder control problems which are not as severe as their sisters.

Granny Vi had no sons, only five daughters. She raised her girls with the hope each would retain bladder control yet never being embarrassed about wearing absorbent protective under garments. Aunt Betsy and my Mom did the same thing. Growing up we were not treated as babies even when toilet learning was delayed. In the family it was no secret that Granny Vi, Aunt Betsy and my Mom all needed diapers 24/7 to function as responsible adults in a primarily continent world.

Those of us with small over-active bladders would be nicely asked to wear 'just-in-case' diapers on long car rides and for special occasions. In the interest of toilet learning we were encouraged to tell an adult when we felt the need to pee or poop, but we were never scolded for not doing so. Once toilet trained and wearing a diaper for mutual convenience on a trip, instead of asking "When will we get there?" we simply used our diapers. At the next stop whose who needed it would have a diaper change.

Mom encouraged us to be pen pals with the children of family friends who had bladder problems. Doing so helped us learn to be discreet and compassionate when discussing these issues which do embarrass many nice folks.

Several years before I reached puberty I began to feel some of my pen pals intensely disliked diapers while others found diapers comforting. Personally I was never embarrassed or ashamed when diapered, but I preferred wearing more conventional panties when I was sure I could use a toilet in time.

Flash forward to 1985. That was my summer between pre-law university and moving to law school when I lost all my daytime control. The expense and logistics of diapers 24/7 was overwhelming! Often that depressed me. In 1990 I had been a licensed attorney for 2 years. I had my own apartment. Needing to buy disposable diapers constantly and to carry used diapers to the dumpster was a drag. My youngest sister Missy was already married and was the first of my siblings to present our parents with a grandchild.

When my niece was about 9 months old I told Missy my diapers were depressing me. Missy burst out laughing, "Angela, do like I do. Simply have fun with your diapers when you get the chance. Do you know there is a whole world of very nice adults who have control yet wear diapers for fun? Some of them call themselves 'adult babies'." Missy then handed me a copy of FETISH TIMES with an article all about a club called Diaper Pail Fraternity and another article about a magazine published in Seattle called THE PLAY PEN.

To me the people mentioned seemed sensible. Missy put a new pacifier in my mouth, "Sis, give it a try. Relax. Chill!" Suddenly I felt far less depressed.

Flash forward to the early fall of 1995. I had been writing a regular column for the DPF Newsletter since early 1991 and had been happily married to a good man willing to cooperate when I needed to chill as a big baby girl since October 1991.

Out of the blue through DPF I received a letter from a male psychologist married to a female urology resident. They were worried by the number of children who never wanted to give up diapers. Most of those children became so desperate for diapers they resorted to stealing them from younger siblings, relatives, church nurseries, even from stores. They begged me, as an attorney who wore diapers, to join their effort to encourage parents to freely let their kids wear diapers just for fun. Mutually we felt the risk of those children being arrested for stealing was worst than the cost of providing a few packs of diapers. Often when given diapers the kid lost interest quickly. But if a kid still wanted diapers after a couple of weeks, then the kid probably was an infantilist for life. At that point the parenting goal was to teach the kids to be circumspect while obtaining, using and disposing of diapers. To inculcate those lessons the parents needed to avoid judgment. They needed to communicate with the kid. They needed to set realistic rules, such as how the kids could help pay for the diapers.

By late 1996 about 20 medical, mental health and legal professionals mutually formed WHEN KIDS LOVE DIAPERS as an on-line resource aimed at parents. Of course it turned out quite a few older kids discovered the WKLD website. By 2000 the founders of WKLD felt the risk to our professional reputations were too great to continue. Until recently a mirror website still presented a sample of WKLD circa 1999.

Think about a world in which people of all ages can wear diapers for whatever reason without risk or judgment? Does this make common sense?

Edited January 7, 2018 by Angela Bauer
fix typos

[username]

I think my foster parents letting me wear incontinence nappies as a child (at the advice of the child psychologist after star charts and other things failed in stopping me stealing them from my special school) had a very positive effect on me. I have no shame or guilt in wearing. I think the positive experiences with obtaining incontinece nappies and wearing them nightly helped keep me out of trouble because my need for nappies were so strong I would of done anything to get them.

 

One instant of positive reinforcement came two years ago when my psychosis returned and I was involuntary hospitaled. I needed some clothes fetching from my bedroom and it took much courage to ask my community case worker because I knew I had loads of used nappies on my floor, She would diffently see them. The hospital psychiatrist and case worker could see I was hugely anxious and coasted the information out of me so I was honest and told them I have some used incontinence pads on the floor. I will never forget the psychiatrist saying “is that it?”  like she thought I was going disclose something bad,  her voice tone was very reassuring. I then asked my case worker if she would bag them up for me because they would soon start smelling which she very kindly need. Not a word has been spoken about it since. Wearing nappies is no big deal. I now wear freely but am discreet.

[AbabeBill]

Having grown up with the desires, and knowing what it was like. I agree very much, with wanting more understanding. For a young me, I would have felt so much better, knowing it was OK, and condoned. I had no concept way back. I was born in 1964 also, so I am familiar with some of the same time frame. I had no idea, or clue, till I was in my later teens. It took a look at a magazine called Nugget, and later the internet, for me to better understand and deal with my desires. I remember that website "When Kids Love Diapers". I thought it was a good idea, and wished I had something like that, when I was younger. Things being what they are, and people, we knew it wouldn't be long, before that website could no longer be what it was intended to be. It is a shame! There is nothing much, even the well interventioned DL internet community can do. Seems more harm, then good would be the outcome, trying to reach out. To many predators out there to allow it. 

I have only ever mentioned this to no one but my wife. I knew a young teen, or knew of, a young teen diaper lover, who was reaching out. I never knew of their feelings, outside of the internet. I knew this person, because they lived next door to my sister. They had posted things on the internet, and it might have been DPF, or WKLD itself. I'm not sure now, exactly where, but it doesn't matter where. I recognized them, there was no doubt to me, it was them. They used their first name, some of where they lived, explained about the rest of their family, and interactions of family, so I knew exactly who this was. I felt very very torn over, seeing this, and finding them. They were desperately asking for help, and guidance, and also looking for peers. My problem, seeing this, and knowing them personally. I knew, there was no way I could have contact with them, or reach out. At least I couldn't think of any way, not without it turning out bad in many ways. There wasn't even a good way to contact them outside the internet. Might have been even worse. My only course I felt, was to do nothing, step away. I had only good intentions, and wished I could have shared my experiences, my knowledge, and helped them through, let them know some of, what was what. I couldn't compromise them, or myself for that matter. Walking the line of being viewed as a pervert, is bad, and at the very least, being outed as an adult who wears diapers for pleasure, is no great fun either.

Anyway, I stepped away and left the whole situation alone. I felt, and still do, feel bad I couldn't have reached out. I have often over the years, wondered what happened, and what became of that person? I hoped things worked out. I know if things were different, and would have allowed me to reach out, it could have helped somebody some.                      

[ImDiapered]

Yes this makes sence, however to the vast majority of the world population, no. Such a world will never exist. Diapers will never lose their stigma, and to the uninitiated the AB/DL community will never be anything more than a curiosity and a bunch of sick freaks, as taboo as gay individuals in the 1960s. I remember when I came out to my mother about diapers when I was 16, she teared up and told me she failed me. And it's a deep dark subject we went on never to broach. It has to take one of us to understand one of us, and those few rare friends who accept us as is. In answer to your question, I question you back: is there any way of living in the world where you can just flatly accept unaceptance? Accept that there's nothing you can do, and accept it completely?

(by the way, when I was a kid I snuck onto my dad's work laptop sometimes, and that's how I found of all things DPF, that's where I had the bombshell discovery: I wasn't alone!! It's good to be in yalls company. Also, I'm not positive, but I think I also discovered WKLD... Could have been a site similar as it was addressed to the younger audience, but in any case, I was one of those kids it helped to some extent.)

[Firefly 35]

16 minutes ago, ImDiapered said:

 

Yes this makes sence, however to the vast majority of the world population, no. Such a world will never exist. Diapers will never lose their stigma, and to the uninitiated the AB/DL community will never be anything more than a curiosity and a bunch of sick freaks,

 

That's probably not true.  With the right amount of time and effort, the stigma will dissipate.  Think about how people with autism, those in the LBGT+ community, and heck, even D&D players were previously stigmatized and are now much more accepted.  In the case of ABDLs, TV shows and certain people on youtube blow the abdl lifestyle way out of proportion and make it seem like that's the norm.  If anyone does a decent job at fact checking, they will see that it is clearly not and that they have nothing to be ashamed of.

[Bettypooh]

On 1/7/2018 at 10:55 AM, Angela Bauer said:

Think about a world in which people of all ages can wear diapers for whatever reason without risk or judgment? Does this make common sense?

I'm not certain about the "for whatever reason" part, but the rest is perfectly sensible. I know that my own life would have been much better had I been allowed the diapers I truly needed and had some parental support to go with that. Yet I still think it best for most kids to be potty-trained at an age which is individually appropriate for them as that will make their social integration easier But if there is a true need then diapers should be there to handle that need, and there should be no stigma attached. My nephew's oldest child needed to wear pull-ups till about 8 years of age. I don't know the reason for this but he got full parental support plus encouragement to get past the need when he was able to which he has successfully done. I don't know whether he had any social problems with this as we're not close and it was never openly discussed among family but it does not seem to have had any adverse effect on him His Mom has some background in mental health related fields which I'm certain played a key part in this, and of course my sister would have known and related what my experiences were as a child needing diapers. Yet even with all the close family support there has to have been some issues in the wider world That could sure stand an ending and that would also end some of the stigma ABDL's face too But when I look at society in general today, even with it's more tolerant attitude to most things, I see a lack of depth in that tolerance which seems to be more focused on an individual being tolerated themselves rather than them being truly tolerant. There is no strength in that kind of tolerance so I worry that it will not endure I would love to be wrong about this. I also further carry this line of thought to the TG's who wish to wear underwear from another gender, for they also endure similar emotional issues caused by society. 

There will always be peer pressure to conform, but for those with need and for those with a strong enough desire to not conform there should always be tolerance and acceptance because it is simply a person being their self which is what everyone desires to do and which everyone wants to have for their own self too  Such an attitude widespread would make for a much better world for everyone!

Bettypooh

[rusty pins]

17 hours ago, ImDiapered said:

I remember when I came out to my mother about diapers when I was 16, she teared up and told me she failed me. And it's a deep dark subject we went on never to broach.

I comment on this because so many people here over the years have asked in forum posts how to tell their parents they are adult babies or diaper lovers, especially the younger ones in their late teens or early 20's.  While in some cases it works out fine for everyone, in many cases the kid has been kicked out of the house, disowned by their parents and ostrasized by family.  I just don't see why they need to know.  You are taking such a big chance not knowing how they will react, and for what?  To make them unhappy and upset because you can't keep your fetish to yourself?  Even if they do accept it, they will never ever look at you the same way they had in the past.  What do you hope to gain by telling your parents you like wearing diapers?  That they will start buying them for you?  That they will start changing your diapers again?  That you can just walk around openly in front of them in their house in just a wet diaper?  It would all be for your own personal reasons, no matter how much the news may hurt your parents.  It's just not worth it and I hope all the late teens and early 20's AB/DL's who want to tell their parents rethink the whole thing, what they might (or probably won't) gain and all they have to lose and who they may hurt deeply with the revelation.  When you have like minded AB/DL's on sites like this you can turn to for questions and support, why tell your parents and ruin part of their lives?

[Guilyn]

3 hours ago, rusty pins said:

It's just not worth it and I hope all the late teens and early 20's AB/DL's who want to tell their parents rethink the whole thing, what they might (or probably won't) gain and all they have to lose and who they may hurt deeply with the revelation.  When you have like minded AB/DL's on sites like this you can turn to for questions and support, why tell your parents and ruin part of their lives?

The issue is a social one and as such it won't change quickly if at all.  It is acceptable for girls and women to wear skirts and small dresses, it isn't as acceptable for boys to wear the same.  The same goes for diapers, diapers have a purpose but it is not generally acceptable to wear a diaper for any other purpose.  The thongs we use today was first designed for sunbathing in 1974 for beaches that didn't allow nude sunbathing, but we don't look down on a women for wearing a thong because they like it (generally).  The stigma behind diapers has to change, much like the stigma of the LGBT community has been changing.  The difference is that a majority of an ABDL lifestyle is done behind closed doors, which isn't something everyone wants to come out and admit.  Much like when people use to come out about being gay back in the 60's, 70's and even 80's ABDL that come out publicly get ostracized for it.  I can't remember the talk show it was, maybe Tyra or something like that had an women on it that was and ABDL and spoke about it.  After she did the show she was fired from her job shortly after.  As much as it's something we would all love to see I believe it goes against an ABDL's nature to push for acceptance.  We want it to happen but for us that kinda work is "mommy's" job

[rusty pins]

Keep in mind acceptance of many things these days is partly due to younger people who have grown up with it and are open to change.  Parents by nature are older an not always as open to changes as younger or middle age people.  For example, my mom would always get mad when someone was getting married for the second time and wore a white wedding dress!  To her, white wedding dress meant the bride was a virgin!  RIGHT!  In these days even people getting married for the first time in a white dress are not virgins!  That's the way she was raised and they way she thought and you were never going to change that.  It will get better as younger people get older, but trying to change the mind of a 50 or 60 year old doesn't always work because of the ways they were raised themselves.

[Slim27]

On 1/9/2018 at 5:41 PM, rusty pins said:

I comment on this because so many people here over the years have asked in forum posts how to tell their parents they are adult babies or diaper lovers, especially the younger ones in their late teens or early 20's.  While in some cases it works out fine for everyone, in many cases the kid has been kicked out of the house, disowned by their parents and ostrasized by family.  I just don't see why they need to know.  You are taking such a big chance not knowing how they will react, and for what?  To make them unhappy and upset because you can't keep your fetish to yourself?  Even if they do accept it, they will never ever look at you the same way they had in the past.  What do you hope to gain by telling your parents you like wearing diapers?  That they will start buying them for you?  That they will start changing your diapers again?  That you can just walk around openly in front of them in their house in just a wet diaper?  It would all be for your own personal reasons, no matter how much the news may hurt your parents.  It's just not worth it and I hope all the late teens and early 20's AB/DL's who want to tell their parents rethink the whole thing, what they might (or probably won't) gain and all they have to lose and who they may hurt deeply with the revelation.  When you have like minded AB/DL's on sites like this you can turn to for questions and support, why tell your parents and ruin part of their lives?

I told my parents that i was incontinent and had to wear diapers(even though I'm not) long after I had been out of their house only because we were going to be going on a family vacation and be staying in the same hotel room so the questions wouldn' end up ruining our vacation and they accepted it after i told them that me and my doctor have my issue taken care of

[PlstkBakdnghtnday]

On 1/8/2018 at 11:53 PM, Firefly 35 said:

That's probably not true.  With the right amount of time and effort, the stigma will dissipate.  Think about how people with autism, those in the LBGT+ community, and heck, even D&D players were previously stigmatized and are now much more accepted.  In the case of ABDLs, TV shows and certain people on youtube blow the abdl lifestyle way out of proportion and make it seem like that's the norm.  If anyone does a decent job at fact checking, they will see that it is clearly not and that they have nothing to be ashamed of.

I don' think it will be less stigmatized any time soon but it is becoming known as a more common fetish. They make reference to it in that movie "office party" where the Asian guy and that nerdy chick sneak off to smash, and he starts calling her mommy and says there' something happening in my diaper. Hell, 50 shades of grey is about S and M and that would've been a joke 20 years ago.

[rusty pins]

On ‎1‎/‎9‎/‎2018 at 5:41 PM, rusty pins said:

I comment on this because so many people here over the years have asked in forum posts how to tell their parents they are adult babies or diaper lovers, especially the younger ones in their late teens or early 20's.  While in some cases it works out fine for everyone, in many cases the kid has been kicked out of the house, disowned by their parents and ostrasized by family.  I just don't see why they need to know.  You are taking such a big chance not knowing how they will react, and for what?  To make them unhappy and upset because you can't keep your fetish to yourself?  Even if they do accept it, they will never ever look at you the same way they had in the past.  What do you hope to gain by telling your parents you like wearing diapers?  That they will start buying them for you?  That they will start changing your diapers again?  That you can just walk around openly in front of them in their house in just a wet diaper?  It would all be for your own personal reasons, no matter how much the news may hurt your parents.  It's just not worth it and I hope all the late teens and early 20's AB/DL's who want to tell their parents rethink the whole thing, what they might (or probably won't) gain and all they have to lose and who they may hurt deeply with the revelation.  When you have like minded AB/DL's on sites like this you can turn to for questions and support, why tell your parents and ruin part of their lives?

 

22 hours ago, Slim27 said:

I told my parents that i was incontinent and had to wear diapers(even though I'm not) long after I had been out of their house only because we were going to be going on a family vacation and be staying in the same hotel room so the questions wouldn' end up ruining our vacation and they accepted it after i told them that me and my doctor have my issue taken care of

That is different.  First, you were out of their house for quite a long time, you were not living with them and what you told them was you were incontinent and used an excuse that you have been dealing with it with your doctor.  You also did it basically because you had to because you were all taking a trip together and sharing a hotel room.  I'm not sure if you could have forgone the diapers for the trip or if you would have had accidents or wet the bed without them, but you did what you had to because there wasn't any way you could have worn diapers without them finding out in he same hotel room.  Me, I would have gone without the diapers for that week if I could have without real accidents or bedwetting but maybe you couldn't have done that.

When a teenager or young person in his early 20's just decides to tell their parents they like to wear diapers and/or act like a baby, it's different and my above post states my opinions on how I feel about it.  In your case, Slim, you did it out of necessity due to sharing a room with your parents on a trip.  In other cases where teens decide to tell their parents about their love of wearing diapers and acting like a baby, it's (in my opinion though some may argue) selfish and only for their own reasons, whatever those may be.  After all, would you as a teen or even someone in their 30's want you parents to sit you down and have a deep discussion of their own sexual kinks?  "Charlie, we want you to know that sometimes your mom will strap on a dildo under her sexy French maid outfit and butt fucks me with it and then jacks me off.  We really love doing this and want you to know!"

[Firefly 35]

6 hours ago, rusty pins said:

After all, would you as a teen or even someone in their 30's want you parents to sit you down and have a deep discussion of their own sexual kinks?

No, but if you accidentally walked in on them, say, in the bathroom when they were in the middle of something, that might change the situation.  Same for ABDLs

[Angela Bauer]

It has now been a full week since I started this topic in reaction to conversations about stealing diapers and lying to parents, SO and so on.

All of your points about a lack of understanding and even compassion from the general public should be accepted fact.

When I was approached to join When Kids Love Diapers in late 1995, they were looking for an attorney who wore diapers for fun as well as because I have no bladder control. The married couple (a male psychologist and a female urology resident) are the proud parents of a then 5 year-old boy and a 7 year-old girl. The wife had given birth to another girl in mid-1994. That was when the couple noticed that both of their children suddenly wanted to play with the baby's diapers.

As if often the case medical and mental health professionals tend to socialize with people from their professions. When casually asking what to think about children with infant siblings playing with diapers at local events and at national conferences they learn that Dr. Spock had been correct in his book BABY AND CHILD CARE back in 19471 When older children are surrounded by diapers and observe parents lovingly changing those diapers, the kids  do desire diapers. None were sure what a parent should do?

They form an informal ad hoc study group/committee to investigate this phenomenon. Somehow they learned about DPF and adult babies. They also were told about children who were stealing diapers. Somehow they got copies of the DPF newsletter with my regular column, so they knew I am incontinent, wear diapers and am an attorney. They reached out to me for advice on dealing with the stealing. In turn I reached out to criminal defense attorneys in many jurisdictions. 4 of them agreed to join the WKLD formation and steering committee.

I realize DD has members from the mental health profession who might disagree with a basic tenet of WKLD: An attraction to diapers might well be a psychological paraphilia, but compared to other unusual or risky behaviors is not physically harmful. Another strong belief in the clinical psychology profession circa 1995-6 was that it is irresponsible to manage a condition by substituting a dangerous behavior for an unpopular buy non-physically dangerous behavior.. The working theory of WKLD was that if a patient was deprived from suckling a pacifier and substituted a cigarette, that would not be ethical. Same for giving up a baby bottle of milk for a martini.

I am not a mental health professional. My post graduate training in mental health had to do with making the best use of expert witnesses. Since what I have been told by hundreds of mental health professionals is that there is no practical and save treatment to reverse infantilism.

That being the case what professionals and family should do when they discover an infantilist is urge acting out in circumspect ways. To do this there needs to be trust on the part of the infantilist. Us attorneys advocated giving out diapers to prevent theft.

Soon it turned out most children with a sudden diaper fascination find that wearing and especially using diapers is not always fun. So within the medical/mental health committee member the plan was to give a kid a bag of diapers. If the kid lost interest with even a diaper left in the bag, great! On the other hand if the kid was begging for another bag with diapers left in the first bag, that kid probably was already a dedicated infantilist.

At first WKLD thought of post pubescent people playing with diapers as full-on infantilists. There the goal was to keep them out of jail by helping them buy and never steal diapers.

[willnotwill]

I started having my "punishment" fantasies at a very early age (it dated to Kindergarten), so it definitely was prepubescent.   Later I did become cognizant that these fantasies had a sexual component (as I became aware of sexuality in general).

 

[rusty pins]

18 hours ago, Firefly 35 said:

No, but if you accidentally walked in on them, say, in the bathroom when they were in the middle of something, that might change the situation.  Same for ABDLs

I think you both would be very embarrassed about the situation (parent's should have locked the door), but I doubt afterwards you would all sit down together and discuss what happened over coffee and cake.

[sissybaby_aurora]

I started having my "punishment" fantasies at a very early age (it dated to Kindergarten), so it definitely was prepubescent.   Later I did become cognizant that these fantasies had a sexual component (as I became aware of sexuality in general).
 

Same here. Literally.

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