Informing employer about incontinence.

[rusty pins]

There are laws for people with disabilities.  Unless he is the top boss or company owner, I would contact HR, his boss or the company owner and take it all the way to the top, mildly but firmly pointing out discrimination and disability law in such a way that you get your point across without actually threatening anyone.  If it doesn't stop, be firm about it with the company owner or top boss and say, "I plan to file suit against this company for discrimination and violating the disability laws in one week unless I see a total change in this situation, and there better not be any repercussions from my actions".  Then do it if there is no change!

[~Brian~]

I had a similar situation happen to me while I was at work.  You see, I have 2 support services that help me:  One, comes in once a month to clean my apartment.  The other comes in once a week to help me with cleaning and organization of my stuff.  What happened was I was diagnosed with Incontinence in July of 2019, and the second company KNEW about this - I asked for help ONCE to help me put the diaper on right, because I was having problems making sure it was straight and tight enough, so I asked for help.  This was something that they said I should not do, because they were NOT there for that type of help.

So, next couple  days go by, and I get a call at WORK, in MY Thrift Store, on my Cell:  Owner of company informs me that the lady that I was working with reported me.  Apparently, I had been seen naked and with an erection, while changing a diaper:  Because I asked for HELP from the lady, she became freaked out - I understand that, and accepted that.

Where it gets strange:  The owner of this company told me that this action had caused problems, and a misunderstanding arose.  I had to come out to all my volunteers about being   incontinent, my diagnosis, and the fact that I wear diapers.  When I did that, EVERY ONE of my volunteers supported me, they rallied around me, told me that it was "No big deal" and that the company went overboard.  When I talked to the lady again, I had to endure a tongue lashing, then I asked her " You deal with people who are incontinent every day don't you?"  She says "yes" then I said "Well, WHY did you think that it was appropriate to NOT check with me before accepting her word for it" - Made me out to be a bad guy, almost killed my reputation in the community, and made me feel like a piece of dog-doo - LUCKY for me, Home Health Case Manager knows my reputation, and told her that they had the wrong Idea:  They thought I was trying to pick up WOMEN - sheesh - I have RESPECT  for women, I won't do that

So, I told her, that if I get another report of inappropriate conduct, that involved me, that they were to CALL ME, rather than to assume anything:  I could have been marked a bad guy because of the Mandated Reporter statute, and I would NEVER do something like that - said that if this happened again, I would FIRE this agency, and instruct Home Health to NOT PAY them for services rendered.......Talk about having a company NOT acting professional........asked them if they dealt with people that are incon, and they said YES, so they have dealt with it, and blew it out of proportion.

Situation has been dealt with, and I asked them to be more professional and understanding - they could have had this happen without all this:  I am incontinent: But I had to be "OUTED" like  this?

Geez!

Brian

[oznl]

16 hours ago, Christian UK DL said:

My boss called me into his office and said, 'Is there anything you want to tell me?'  At first, of course, I thought I'd done something wrong at work, but then he asked if I had any medical issues I needed to discuss.  We dodged around the issue for a minute or two but then it became clear what he meant and I said I wore diapers and he said he's realised but just needed me to confirm it.  That was it.   

Until the next day when I got into work and my normal office chair had been removed and replaced with a hard plastic chair.  I went in and spoke with him.   He said he didn't want to have to pay for another one if I 'pissed all over it'.   I explained of course that it didn't work like that and he agreed, reluctantly, to give me my chair back.  When it came back the seat had been covered with a black bin liner that had been taped on!  Of course, the whole situation led to questions from colleagues who were sympathetic, but also thought my boss had a point.  He also pointed out to me, in front of 2 other guys, that as I didn't need to use the toilet I didn't have any reason not to be at my desk unless it was my lunch break and perhaps  it would boost efficiency if everyone wore diapers. which got a laugh from them.   It was difficult for a few months as I couldn't get another job so just had to put up with it.  Nobody was nasty or mean, but there were alot of jokes and banter about it.

I'm a people manager and all I can say is OMG!  That is one CRAP people manager.  So bad in fact that I suspect this is a small office and what you have there is simply (and as you describe), a boss...  Somebody who is in charge of others due to ownership or accident rather than any particular ability to manage staff.

I have worked as a manager in the UK also but that was a very long time ago.  The story as you have told it would seem to place that manager in an indefensible legal (and, for what it's worth, moral) position.

If it's a small organisation, your remedies are probably legal only and there may not be much point in pursuing them unless you don't mind burning a bridge.  I'd expect a mutual separation agreement and a substantial hush-money payout.   For a larger organisation, I have seen managers terminated for less.  Discrimination on the basis of a protected attribute, harassment, inappropriate disclosure of personal information, it's hard to know where to start.  In a larger company, HR will certainly take action but remember HR isn't there to help you.  HR is there to keep the company out of staff legal trouble and antics as you have described have "legal trouble" all over them in flashing neon light.

 

[jdj1]

At work I carry a backpack  for my diapers which they don't like us to bring bags in due to theft which I understand. Since not only do I carry one in I am seen carding it ok.Goshen I need to change.So I talked to my bosses about it and explained  the situation  they was good with it. However on did make the suggestion  that I have something on my medical record just in case something came up. So yesterday I had a Dr. appointment  we had talked before about my problem  and now it in my record. Saying this go say Companies  usually are resonible  if you are.

 

[~Brian~]

1 hour ago, jdj1 said:

At work I carry a backpack  for my diapers which they don't like us to bring bags in due to theft which I understand. Since not only do I carry one in I am seen carding it ok.Goshen I need to change.So I talked to my bosses about it and explained  the situation  they was good with it. However on did make the suggestion  that I have something on my medical record just in case something came up. So yesterday I had a Dr. appointment  we had talked before about my problem  and now it in my record. Saying this go say Companies  usually are resonible  if you are.

 

@jdj1

What I do is, I use a wheelchair with BOTH a Crutch Carrier, AND a Backpack attached to the chair at all times.  I added the backpack to the chair because I have to carry supplies in it.  I have friends that do the same thing, and there are backpacks made by wheelchair companies that cost TONS of money that carry supplies for this purpose.  There are others that carry O2 canisters on the chair, and they can be outfitted to carry anything you need.  Mine has everything I need for a quick change in the Accessible Bathroom at work, and YES: People who work with me know of this, in case I may need some help.

However on did make the suggestion  that I have something on my medical record just in case something came up. So yesterday I had a Dr. appointment  we had talked before about my problem  and now it in my record. Saying this go say Companies  usually are resonible  if you are.

This is a SMART MOVE - This way, it is on the record - I've had a run-in/misunderstanding that happened because if my incon., but because I disclosed it to the agency, I was able to get assistance from my Home Health Agency, My Case Manager, the Doctor, and others, and because it is ON the record, someone isn't gonna be able to hassle you - being disabled, I may NEED that on my record as I age, and the Doctor told me that he was PROUD of me for having the courage to ask him for help like this - I basically told him that I am tired of having to be in the bathroom all night, because of this, and Diverticulitis, so it makes sense to use diapers for this - After all, they are another form of underwear, right?  It always pays to be HONEST with the doctor and other service providers

Brian

 

 

[FlyLikeAnEagle]

I would be way too embarrassed to tell my boss if I was incontinent. Some brave souls here lol!

[Wolf]

You can get a note of Reasonable Accommodation from the doctor. And that note goes straight to your companies HR team. And they more or less work things out with your boss and such to allow for you to get the accommodation that you need. Also, you are in now way required to explain to your companies HR or your boss why you have the note and such. As with the Privacy and HIPAA laws and rules that is not for them to know. They are only on a Need to Know only bases and only that.

If your company is breaking those rules and such, you can report them to your local department of workforce services whoever they may be. And you are also within your rights to seek help from a lawyer so that you could get helped properly with any kind of a lawsuit if need be.

Privacy and HIPAA information down below:
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