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Coming out the crib???


Pampered4lLife

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Hey everyone

I'm looking for advise from anyone who was brave enough revealing their ABDL side to friends, family and loved ones.  How did you work up the courage to do so??

Did you have a particular approach? did you feel it was worth it?  I'm seriously debating telling my gf of 2yrs now about my "other side" but not really sure where to begin.  I feel like I've been living a double life with her and our friends and i don't want her to think I've been lying about myself or I'm creepy or tell people....just thinking about it makes my head spin. Thankfully she's a very sweet non-judgemental person (at least that I know) so that give me hope. I'm just not sure what to say, how to say it, it feels like so much at stake.

Can I borrow some courage from someone??

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I have no experience in this field, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

When it comes to friends & family, do they really need to know? I don't think so. Your kinks are simply none of their business & you don't have to feel bad about hiding it from them.

As for the girlfriend, yeah she needs to know. At this point the longer you wait the harder it'll be for both of you. I'd start by examining your desires thoroughly. Not only what you want, but also why you want it. Her brain might try to jump to conclusions about what you are, so you need to clearly communicate your desires. If you want help refining your approach I'll be happy to help you any way I can. :)

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I always start small.  Introduce them to pacifiers or "acting little" before jumping into diapers.  I think it's easier because I'm a girl, so acting like a kid is sort of normal?  I can get away with that a lot easier than guys.  Or try testing the waters with some stuff.  News reports (positive ones!) or "a friend" stories. "My cousin just had her kid and now she has to wear diapers most of the time.  Is that common for women?" get on the topic, you know?  Idk.

These are just cheap tactics I've used throughout the years.  But when you do finally have the sit-down talk with her about it, make sure you're honest and clear like Wanna said.

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Instead of "brave", look for "smart", otherwise it biases the results and reeks of trying to justify something you have already decided on when you should be questioning it entirely, which leads to a decision very usually not in your best interest. Two Fairy Proverbs 1. "Magic gives you what you ASK for, not what yo want" and 2. "To cheat a fool, give her that for which she asks". It is alos said of the legendary "Anestra the Bold" that she carried two wands (in the language of the Fairies "doing stick"), saying in one story "The first I use is my play wand from when I was but a fairylet and gives me time to decide if I really wish to do this deed", the second goes "I carry two; the second to fix what I, acting with haste or non-thought, mess up with the first"

A closed mouth gathers no foot. Not for nothing is it called your "trap", as in "keep your trap shut".  Life does not have "Edit>Undo" or "cancel"

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I have some experience with this. I grew up a bedwetter and late potty trainer and then rediscovered my baby and diaper side at about 13. I kept it hidden mostly through high school and college trying to hide it from my mom but she soon discovered I had been wetting the bed again. When I got married, I again kept this side hidden until after about 12 years of marriage I had certain urges come on strong. I got up the courage to intentionally wet the bed and it was a pleasant surprise how my wife reacted. She was caring and compassionate. Of course she was worried about it being a health related issue and I did schedule a check-up. I told her (which she had already known) that I was a bedwetter growing up and that it had happened a few times even before this. About two weeks later, I wet again. This time heavier. A few more weeks after that I moved over into the center of the bed and wet, getting her side all wet too. It was after this she recommended (strongly) that I wear a diaper to bed at night. Now I am open about my nighttime diaper wearing and love it when she sees my sagging wet diaper in the mornings. A few weeks ago I was sick and pooped in my pants. My next goal is to start having daytime accidents!

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Thanks for the advice everyone

Ive been putting off having the "talk" for too long at first it was more to get to know my gf and for her to get to know my "adult" side. But time just keeps passing and it does feel like its getting harder to approach the subject. I'm gonna try to be smart about the approach and take things slowly. I just hate the thought of rejection

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I think if you both care very much for each other, and you feel things are moving closer to her being part of your forever life, you should explain this part of you to her. It is a risk, and a scary one to be sure, but getting to know someone, is risky in everything you share. If you want to believe, and know if she will be ok with this, you will have to take the leap. It can bring you closer together, when she knows. 

For me, it was a bit different. I’m married and my wife is aware, but she was from the start. We met on another AB/DL fetish site. Still there were many things, I’m sure, she didn’t know, or fully understand. I’ve had to talk about them with her. Sometimes, this was not easy for me, as I have never told anyone about this part of me. Even though we met on a AB/DL site, she was not so much into that, and didn’t know a whole lot about it. I have, and still am working through my feelings about this, but we are growing together, and this is good. Being a DL is not all of who, or what I am. My wife knows and understands this, and I’m glad. It’s part of me, but it don’t define me. Maybe that is something you can impress on your GF Pampered4life? I wish you luck! 

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On 12/28/2017 at 12:40 PM, Dougie1970 said:

I have some experience with this. I grew up a bedwetter and late potty trainer and then rediscovered my baby and diaper side at about 13. I kept it hidden mostly through high school and college trying to hide it from my mom but she soon discovered I had been wetting the bed again. When I got married, I again kept this side hidden until after about 12 years of marriage I had certain urges come on strong. I got up the courage to intentionally wet the bed and it was a pleasant surprise how my wife reacted. She was caring and compassionate. Of course she was worried about it being a health related issue and I did schedule a check-up. I told her (which she had already known) that I was a bedwetter growing up and that it had happened a few times even before this. About two weeks later, I wet again. This time heavier. A few more weeks after that I moved over into the center of the bed and wet, getting her side all wet too. It was after this she recommended (strongly) that I wear a diaper to bed at night. Now I am open about my nighttime diaper wearing and love it when she sees my sagging wet diaper in the mornings. A few weeks ago I was sick and pooped in my pants. My next goal is to start having daytime accidents!

This...this....this is the worst idea...ever.

I'm just going by your post and I certainly don't know your family dynamic and I certainly understand the fear/anxiety that one faces when you're deciding to tell someone or not especially if that person is your spouse or BF/GF.  That said, it seems to me that using your past to manipulate your wife into thinking there's something wrong so you didn't have to tell her about your DL side so you can wear them in the open is a piss poor way of revealing this side to her because, well, you're not. 

To me your wife, like most good SO's, reacted out of concern and her recommendation was the same (and to save your bed from pee spots) so to her it looks like a medical/psychological problem which worries her but she's not goin to get mad (her wanting  you to go to the dr) but to you it's diaper fun time (love it when she sees my sagging wet diaper in the mornings.).   So really all you've done is trading one lie for another so you could get what you wanted (openly wear diapers and the trade-off is that your wife gets to be an unwilling participant in diaper fun time since you've not only removed that choice for her but you've also removed her ability to make her choice using all the facts available keeping her intentionally ignorant so as to make it easier on you so you could bypass the true anxiety  and fear this thread is for.  You speak of courage but what you described is just the opposite.  

Courage isn't fearing of her reaction to what she thinks is something that you can't control,  to a wet bed and intentionally peeing (again most spouses aren't going to fly off the handle...it happens), then after getting a positive reaction, upping the game every so often again using your past bed wetting as a "reason" despite, I assume you not needing them because of medical reasons.  Courage is looking at your wife and despite the anxiety from not only knowing she may she'll be hurt (both she and you which is obviously not something you or anyone really wants to do) but also despite the petrifying fear of rejection you do it anyway because it's the right thing to do which is almost always the more difficult of the two decisions.

Now, again, if I've gotten it wrong then I truly apologize but the way it reads...IDK...something about this seems...wrong.  Maybe it's because it's been a stressful week having taken on two different clients whose soon to be ex spouses are manipulating my clients so perhaps I'm a bit touchy about it but again all you've done is replace one lie with another to get what you want which is to openly wear diapers.  Your wife, OTOH, gets to worry not only if you have a diagnosed medical or psychological issue, on top of if this will lead to being incontinent.  Seems to be a bit unfair...

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On ‎12‎/‎31‎/‎2017 at 3:38 AM, Britnee said:

This...this....this is the worst idea...ever.

I'm just going by your post and I certainly don't know your family dynamic and I certainly understand the fear/anxiety that one faces when you're deciding to tell someone or not especially if that person is your spouse or BF/GF.  That said, it seems to me that using your past to manipulate your wife into thinking there's something wrong so you didn't have to tell her about your DL side so you can wear them in the open is a piss poor way of revealing this side to her because, well, you're not. 

To me your wife, like most good SO's, reacted out of concern and her recommendation was the same (and to save your bed from pee spots) so to her it looks like a medical/psychological problem which worries her but she's not goin to get mad (her wanting  you to go to the dr) but to you it's diaper fun time (love it when she sees my sagging wet diaper in the mornings.).   So really all you've done is trading one lie for another so you could get what you wanted (openly wear diapers and the trade-off is that your wife gets to be an unwilling participant in diaper fun time since you've not only removed that choice for her but you've also removed her ability to make her choice using all the facts available keeping her intentionally ignorant so as to make it easier on you so you could bypass the true anxiety  and fear this thread is for.  You speak of courage but what you described is just the opposite.  

Courage isn't fearing of her reaction to what she thinks is something that you can't control,  to a wet bed and intentionally peeing (again most spouses aren't going to fly off the handle...it happens), then after getting a positive reaction, upping the game every so often again using your past bed wetting as a "reason" despite, I assume you not needing them because of medical reasons.  Courage is looking at your wife and despite the anxiety from not only knowing she may she'll be hurt (both she and you which is obviously not something you or anyone really wants to do) but also despite the petrifying fear of rejection you do it anyway because it's the right thing to do which is almost always the more difficult of the two decisions.

Now, again, if I've gotten it wrong then I truly apologize but the way it reads...IDK...something about this seems...wrong.  Maybe it's because it's been a stressful week having taken on two different clients whose soon to be ex spouses are manipulating my clients so perhaps I'm a bit touchy about it but again all you've done is replace one lie with another to get what you want which is to openly wear diapers.  Your wife, OTOH, gets to worry not only if you have a diagnosed medical or psychological issue, on top of if this will lead to being incontinent.  Seems to be a bit unfair...

Yeah, I feel bad that I am not honest with her, I wish I could be but I don't really trust that she would understand at all. Thank You for your reply.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 12/28/2017 at 11:40 AM, Dougie1970 said:

I have some experience with this. I grew up a bedwetter and late potty trainer and then rediscovered my baby and diaper side at about 13. I kept it hidden mostly through high school and college trying to hide it from my mom but she soon discovered I had been wetting the bed again. When I got married, I again kept this side hidden until after about 12 years of marriage I had certain urges come on strong. I got up the courage to intentionally wet the bed and it was a pleasant surprise how my wife reacted. She was caring and compassionate. Of course she was worried about it being a health related issue and I did schedule a check-up. I told her (which she had already known) that I was a bedwetter growing up and that it had happened a few times even before this. About two weeks later, I wet again. This time heavier. A few more weeks after that I moved over into the center of the bed and wet, getting her side all wet too. It was after this she recommended (strongly) that I wear a diaper to bed at night. Now I am open about my nighttime diaper wearing and love it when she sees my sagging wet diaper in the mornings. A few weeks ago I was sick and pooped in my pants. My next goal is to start having daytime accidents!

Sounds like my life except I always wanted diapers. I did something like you. I recommend being more up front than I was. I did it when we lived together before we got married. I was having diaper urges bad and loved her. I got up a lot of  courage and put a diaper one night and got into bed. I grabbed her hand and put it on my diapers and told her how I wet the bed and sometimes wore a diaper for that and my ibs. Hope she understood.  I did wet the bed then but only once or twice a year and did wear one if my ibs was really bad. She accepted it and suggested I wear one more nights and see a doctor. I didn't see a doctor as I hate that and did a lot of that as a kid and don't mind wearing diapers.  I felt bad and years later I opened up and told her how I like diapers and how they made me feel. She was ok with it and at first was more involved. Now it is more limited, but I can wear when I want. She has made a few rules I must follow but only participates herself when she wants or to enforce her rules. I wish I had someone to participate more but I love her and at least she is accepting of it with some participation. She does like it sometimes when I wear because I don't have to be interrupted as much some times with my small bladder.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I don't ever plan on telling my family, or any of my friends (unless we talked about kinks/were that kind of open, but I haven't had a friendship that was like that for a really long time). My partner knows - it's taken me a while to come out to them. Their reaction was funny looking back on it - no shock, no anything, just "as long as you're happy and you're not smelly I don't care and I love you". I was expecting a big reaction and got embarrassed!

We have like... one boundary with my ABDL side; no messing in diapers (which I don't like doing anyways - pee is ok). Everything else is fair game. While they're not completely into it and they don't understand it 100% (there are a lot of complicated and messy parts to me being a Little) they love me and are supportive of me as much as they can be. 

Telling your partner is crucial if you want to be happy and comfortable. Just being open and honest will make things a lot easier in the long run! If it's something that your partner is not willing to accept, and it is really a big part of your life, then more serious talks will be needed... but honestly just talking and asking questions and making boundaries for both you and her will make it easier and more comfortable for the both of you. :)

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My best friend once found a pacifier in my drawer and said to me "why is there a pacifier in your drawer? Wait do I want to know?" and I said that I would tell her. I said it helps me relax which it does. I was actually considering telling her a few hours ago that I have to go to sleep with it in my mouth every night now because of the stress that sleep paralysis causes. If my palate doesn't close I don't get sleep paralysis.

I do have a potential girlfriend now, and I will need to tell her some time... but there is no need for it to be revealed unless timing stipulates.

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  • 3 weeks later...

When it comes to telling people only you can be the judge. My advise is to asknyourself why do you want to tell them? What are the results you are expecting and what if they dont understand ornreact badly. If you are able to handle the negative result that may but not likely occur and you are just doing doing this so you can be who you are then I say go for it. If you are doing this out of some need to feel wanted, accepted, or loved you probably need to do some self reflection because you need to love yourself and let the world be who it is.

As for your long term girlfriend I think if she does not know then you ate not being honest with her and the relationship will likely fail unless you are willing to give up this lifestyle.

I told my wife while we were dating but never made sure she was cool with it and twice it caused some nasty fights. It even came close to causing a divorce about 9 months ago. We sat down and started talking seriously and now we are working through. She has her limits which is good for both of us. She also has taken up more of a parental role with me. I need this very much. So coming out is not easy and should be done with care but you need to be who you are.

I have told several friends, my wife, and even my mom. To date I have received nothing but love and it is good but I also don't tell just anyone. 

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Xander,

Remember not everyone is in this for sex. I for one am non-sexual but this is a lifestyle. In order to be honest to myself I must be honest with those I care deeply about. If I can't be who I am why would I want to be anything else. That is living a lie.

Monkey

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