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If you are married or in a relationship is your bedwetting a barrier to sex.


stevewet

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My wife and I have both gone through cancer, that already had its affect on our sex life. I have worn 24/7 for probably 5 yrs, due to dribbles, and occasional night wet. Its been an adjustment as life is always changing. You don't marry for sex, you marry for better or worst. Her cancer was hormonal so that caused problems and made it very painful for her. I just take care of myself., we deal with it. Diapers really haven't caused anymore issues in that, we hadn't had sex for 5 years before I started wearing diapers. She doesn't like me wearing or wants nothing to do with any of my diaper play. So I use pee, plastic and a lot of etc,,,,, to please myself.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Being incontinent really hasn't hindered my wife and my sex life. We usually have a weekend morning set aside for this. Mornings work the best as I get up and shower and we spend an hour enjoying each other. Obviously spontaneous sex is not an option but we are very happy with the time that we do spend together. Afterwards I put on my protection  (diaper) and we enjoy the day. I feel very lucky that I am able to enjoy a healthy sex life considering my incontinence. As the numbness on my legs and lower body seem to be increasing I assume that someday in the future I won't be able to perform but for now my wife and I enjoy a healthy sex life.

 

 

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at first my wife was turned off by the thaut of haveing sex if I was In a wet diaper   and she would require me to.clean up first    but know I just pull my wet diaper down and go for it......   

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  • 1 month later...

Not at all.

I'm just a bedwetter, not a day wetter. I only wear a diaper at night. I don't like to diaper in front of her, although it doesn't bother her.

My wife has always preferred sex in the morning after showering or in the afternoon, so the diaper isn't an issue.

Once in a while, she'll pull down my diaper and we'll have sex. Usually, it's when we get into bed. But sometimes, she will wake me up in the middle of the night. A wet diaper doesn't bother her.

After sex, I usually fall asleep with the diaper off or down. That would be a problem if I wet, but I've never wet (other than little spots) after having had sex. The only real problem is that we both generate a lot of fluids. If I just pull the diaper back up, all that stickiness under a diaper is annoying.

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On 3/26/2018 at 6:17 AM, fixitboy said:

at first my wife was turned off by the thaut of haveing sex if I was In a wet diaper   and she would require me to.clean up first    but know I just pull my wet diaper down and go for it......   

Been there, done that!

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On 5/17/2018 at 6:57 PM, rio20090 said:

Not at all.

I'm just a bedwetter, not a day wetter. I only wear a diaper at night. I don't like to diaper in front of her, although it doesn't bother her.

My wife has always preferred sex in the morning after showering or in the afternoon, so the diaper isn't an issue.

Once in a while, she'll pull down my diaper and we'll have sex. Usually, it's when we get into bed. But sometimes, she will wake me up in the middle of the night. A wet diaper doesn't bother her.

After sex, I usually fall asleep with the diaper off or down. That would be a problem if I wet, but I've never wet (other than little spots) after having had sex. The only real problem is that we both generate a lot of fluids. If I just pull the diaper back up, all that stickiness under a diaper is annoying.

My wife doesn't mind that I wear nappies and often slides her hand in to my soaking wet nappy and plays with my dick.

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Absolutely it has negatively impacted our sexual activities. I'm the one in diapers and my wife is certainly less interesting in any sexual activity overall. Some of it may just be her but I know the diapers/incon are an isssue. Not exactly "manly" to be in a diaper and plastic pants. Spontaneity is much less of course. I really miss morning sex where I would just roll on top and start while she was half asleep. I think she misses the early morning orgasm.

Every so often after she spurns my advances at night she'll masturbate. At first it was after she thought I was asleep but later she would be more obvious about and even use a small vibrator. I'm pretty sure she knew I had to know but didn't care.

I can't blame her too much. She used to be a tad wild. She would initiate oral sex in the middle of the night and that just isn't a thing when you may be wet. Odor is a major turn off.

Part of the problem is that my condition has a sexual component and my ability to maintain and erection has been impacted - but I now believe much of that is her attitude. I can't say how emasculating it feels to spend 10 minutes on whole body, nipple, and vaginal foreplay with zero response positive or negative. Just lying there. Or lying there, then moving my hand away as though I'm just annoying her - only to masturbate later. 

As odd as it sounds I think we have a sort of equilibrium now. I sort of just "use" her for sex and she seems to like it. When I want to have sex I just bend her over or remove her underwear and climb on. I don't finish her nor make any attempt to clean her up. Or if after I finish my morning run, just initiate oral sex while she is half asleep. (She accepts either way - my tongue on her or my penis in her mouth.) When I'm in the mood but unable to get a good erection, I'll just start and finish her with a vibrator and then turn her over and sort of "hump" her butt cheeks and the fold between her legs, then leave her covered in seamen and/or a bit of urine. I know this is a graphic but the best description of things.

I tried to talk about this but she is not interested in talking about it. I'm sure she is not cheating. But I'm also sure there is a lot of sexual frustration or inability to cope.

I think she just isn't happy how things turned out or something like that. For a number of years after the accident she was still rather wild. To be very graphic, my condition would cause intense arousal, seminal leakage and spontaneous orgasms, sometimes with ejaculation. Usually with a soft or no erection. She would fall asleep with my penis still in her mouth after intense oral sex. I'd wake up in a very wet bed with her working on me, I wasn't even sure if she was a awake some of those times.

She doesn't do anything like that on her own anymore. Though in fairness, she never complains when I start some sort of actual sexual activity. I just know that only

very rarely does she get "into it". 

***

Follow up: After writing this, I was a bit aroused and sought out my wife. She seems to accept my depravities with no passion or expresses interest one way or the other. I did force her to orgasm - twice. 

Another edit: I do love her dearly. And would like to see her have a happy and satisfied sex life and relationship. She does seem overall happy and happy to be with me. Just that she expresses no outward interest in sex. 

Edited by ThomasInWVa
Another edit
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In response to what Thomas has just written, I believe that last bit about being able to cause her to orgasm is the most important thing said.  I would focus on what drives this, and concentrate on continuing to bring her off not worrying about what makes you go, and eventually I will wager that she will come to accept your efforts in a bigger way.  If you can make her reach the peak with your efforts on regular basis, doubt that she will continue to need to do herself, unless of course she is doing it in front of you to show you she is upset that some of her man has gone away?

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My wife isn't at all phased by my nappies and incontinence. On holiday we were having a cuddle and all of a sudden her hand dived in to my soaking wet nappy and she brought me to a fantastic orgasm.

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On 6/4/2018 at 7:32 AM, deewet said:

In response to what Thomas has just written, I believe that last bit about being able to cause her to orgasm is the most important thing said.  I would focus on what drives this, and concentrate on continuing to bring her off not worrying about what makes you go, and eventually I will wager that she will come to accept your efforts in a bigger way.  If you can make her reach the peak with your efforts on regular basis, doubt that she will continue to need to do herself, unless of course she is doing it in front of you to show you she is upset that some of her man has gone away?

Deewet, 

I have a theory about it. Basically it is like this, if I tried to arouse her she spurned my advances. If I "use" her or "make" her have an orgasm, she doesn't resist. I can't cause her to orgasm the usual way, but I can with fingers, tongue, and toys. I'd been thinking about it and I thought she may simply have a low interest in sex but still needs to have a sexual release every so often. In many ways, I know exactly what the feels like. I can have a strong need for an orgasm but be completely be unable to get aroused or have an erection. 

Since the original post, I made a decision to try something new. Since then, whenever I wanted to have sexual activity, I didn't ask or in any way suggest I cared what she wanted.  I just started on her. This seems to be what she needed - she seems much more mellow. It seems, and this is just an idea, that the more I'm "in charge" the better. And its not a one way thing, she has had more orgasms since Sunday than the last month - more like it was many years ago when she was frisky. She seems much more relaxed, happy, and sleeping better. 

In summary, I think she may have been feeling sexually neglected. Or a lack of masculinity from me.

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  • 2 weeks later...

My hubbie is a bedwetter and I think it has enhanced our sex life.  For some reason his humiliation is a turn on to both of us.  I also think he looks cute in cloth diapers and baby pants

 

 

 

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20 hours ago, Nancy2 said:

My hubbie is a bedwetter and I think it has enhanced our sex life.  For some reason his humiliation is a turn on to both of us.  I also think he looks cute in cloth diapers and baby pants

 

My wife likes me in nappies.

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

It seems that a good marriage does come down to communication. For some reason no amount of talk was able to get around the wall that had formed between us. We just couldn't get "close" to one another. There was always some thing unsaid between us. But that finally started to shift about a month ago. It basically took about a month of forced intimacy between us to get to the point where we could talk and really clear the air and vent our frustrations. And it wasn't just a one way street with me initiating sex. It seems that we both realized this is what we needed she reciprocated with an animalistic intensity.

It took over 3 week of what I can only describe as communicating on a carnal wavelength, we were able to really talk. The real wall was just our mutual frustrations with life, work, each other, health, money, etc. I think we just needed to work out our frustrations before we could reach each other.

Now our relationship is much less carnal and a lot more romantic and sensual. We are both feeling much better and as corny as it sounds, in love with one another. 

Oh, and the whole diaper & incentence thing isn't an issue. Apparently, it never has been on her part. It was all in my head. An no, it isn't any sort of turn on. It just isn't a negative or an issue. In her words, an inconvenience, not a problem

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Being a married man that has been wearing 24/7 for six years and has a wife that knows 100% of the reason why i need to wear and accepts it, it hasn't hurt our sex life at all. It has if anything helped us explore likes and dislikes for both of us. One of my wife's dislikes is me having a diaper pulled down or poking a hole in it for me to still penetrate her while having diaper on. The padding isn't the problem, its my size. I'm not "Long" enough to keep her satisfied so we do without the diaper. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I used to think my wife was put off sex by my nappies but recently we have had some quite intimate moments despite me wearing a wet nappy ( I am seldom dry) I can't manage full intercourse any more but we play and I can still give serious oral which I thoroughly enjoy too.

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  • 2 weeks later...

My bed wetting hasn't negatively effected my sex life in fact it's a turn on for both of us, but to be fair my girlfriend is also my mommy so i would frequently wear and use diapers around her as well as in bed before my bed wetting started.

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My bedwetting problems never caused sexual problems. First of all, we sleep in separated rooms because of my snoring - but if we wona have sex we do in my or her bed (or elsewhere :-) ). The point is: I yes sometimes I wet my bed while sleeping - but not while sleeping with my women...  So this is not problem at all for her or me.

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Yes it is. Not bedwetting but always wetting. That and no ability to get an erection. We've learned to deal with it and have a very good marriage of 40 years

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20 hours ago, mick_dl said:

My bedwetting problems never caused sexual problems. First of all, we sleep in separated rooms because of my snoring - but if we wona have sex we do in my or her bed (or elsewhere :-) ). The point is: I yes sometimes I wet my bed while sleeping - but not while sleeping with my women...  So this is not problem at all for her or me.

I read a couple of your posts here.  Have you ever been tested for Sleep Apnia?  I was in 2004 but never persued it any further due to not being able to take time off my job without losing it (allowed only 24 hours in a 12 month period to be sick from work).  I was tested again this past winter as a formailty because I know I have sleep apnia.  The thing is, I'm, overweight and when I was in the hospital for my knee replacement the nurses told me the next morning that I really scared them because I would stop breathing all the time!  My sleep apnia test showed that in a one hour period I stopped breathing 57 times for more than 10 seconds.  That's once every minute.  That, type 2 diabetes and being over weight puts me in a high risk for stroke and heart attack.  You snore because your airway is not fully opening when you are sleeping.  The CPAP machine constantly blows air when you breath either through your mouth or nose, depending on which mask you have.  That pressure keeps the airway open.  You no longer snore and you breath properly!   After using the CPAP for a month, the results showed I stopped breathing 2 times in a 4 hour period, averaging 1.2 percent.  I still wake up 4 or 5 times a night to pee, but I do not snore and I have the confidence that I am at a lower risk for stroke or heart attack.  If you haven't, I suggest you get tested for sleep apnia.  It can cure your snoring and allow you and your woman to sleep in the same bedroom.  I won't say it will cure your occasional bedwetting, but who knows?  If, as you said in your other post you think your snoring may have something to do with it, it may help in that area too.

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Hi rusty,

I was not tested about sleep apnia but I told my doc about that, and he came up with a  "snoring rail" (not sure if the is the right English word - it looks somehow like a dental brace). Unfortunately this was not a big success - how ever - meanwhile I'm pretty sure that my bedwetting have something to do with my snoring. My wife figured out, that if I snore very heavy I mostly also wet the bed. So I think your right - If I cure the snoring I will probably also fix the bet wetting problem. I'm working on that and hope that I find a solution without these breathing masks...

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22 hours ago, mick_dl said:

Hi rusty,

I was not tested about sleep apnia but I told my doc about that, and he came up with a  "snoring rail" (not sure if the is the right English word - it looks somehow like a dental brace). Unfortunately this was not a big success - how ever - meanwhile I'm pretty sure that my bedwetting have something to do with my snoring. My wife figured out, that if I snore very heavy I mostly also wet the bed. So I think your right - If I cure the snoring I will probably also fix the bet wetting problem. I'm working on that and hope that I find a solution without these breathing masks...

I've seen those snoring things that are supposed to keep you from snoring.  Useless!  Think of not being able to open a door because it's too heavy to push open on your own.  Then think of a newmatic opener that allows you to push open that same door with a touch of your finger.  That is what a CPAP machine does.  It doesn't breathe for you, what it does is help push the air you breathe in stronger so it opens your airway when you breathe normally.  Otherwise when sleeping when you try and breath without some extra force or assistance, your closed airway won't allow the air to totally pass easily, you don't breathe, then when your body gets starved for air you gulp it in and snore.   I very strongly suggest you get a sleep apnia test.  Tell your doctor you want one and he should get one schedualed.  If he refuses, ask for a referral to a pulmonologist (Pneumologe in German).  I never ever thought I would be able to sleep with any type of mask on, even though every one I spoke with said they can't sleep without one once they got their CPAP machine.  I have one that just fits in my nostrils and I hardly know it's there.  Very comfortable and I can't sleep without it!  It works wonders.  At least get tested and take it from there.


 
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Hmm - maybe I should give it a try. I will check with my doc. How does such a test work? Can this be done at home or do I have to check into some sort of a sleep lab? 

THX
Mick

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My brother had his at home.  My insurance paid for mine so I had mine at a sleep clinic.  The technician hooks up a lot of sensors to your body (they check restless legs and all) and too your head.  I was in a room that looked just line a normal bedroom, it had books I could read, TV to watch, etc.  I had trouble falling asleep so they gave me an Ambian sleeping pill.  You fall asleep, they monitor you and all the sensors hooked up.  They woke me up after an hour, then they put a CPAP mask and machine on me.  I fell back to sleep again with the CPAP.  The technician can adjust the force of air the CPAP puts out and they find the setting that works best.  I think it's best to go to a sleep testing lab than to do it at home.  They are right there to work on the situation and they get it done all in one night.  The upswing is once you have a CPAP you sleep better and are at much lower risk of stroke or heart attack because you don't stop breathing in your sleep anymore and your brain doesn't get starved for oxygen.  My insurance covered the cost of my CPAP because it's a lot cheaper to prevent stroke or heart attack than to cover the costs after it happens.  I never ever thought I wouldn't be able to sleep with a CPAP and I avoided it for years.  Now I won't sleep without it.  Even if it doesn't end up helping your occasional bedwetting, it will stop your snoring and help your brain get the oxygen it needs.

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Well said rusty pins!

Exactly as it was for me, and now 5 years latter, I can't sleep without it either. My issue was discovered during a hospital stay, for my first knee replacement.  When testing was done, it was determined I had a severe case, which could have resulted in a shortened life as mentioned above! 

Nothing to mess with, it is so easy to get this done, and you are so much better as a result!!

 

 

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CPAP's are a life saver. I've snored for years & then it got so bad that I stopped breathing for so long it woke me up & I threw up. When I did that I aspirated the vomit into my lungs causing instant pneumonia. I was sick for weeks. Soon thereafter I went in for the sleep study and the rest is history. I will never sleep without one again

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