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How far have you taken the AB/DL lifestyle?


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Just wondering how much into it you guys are?

Like do you get to enjoy your AB/DL side as much as you want?

Do you get into it often or only occasionally?

Do you have a partner willing to indulge your AB/DL side?

Occasionally i think about being able to indulge more often; preferably with a mommy willing to play the role (not against same gender; just not my thing)

I have never been in any relationship so far; and part of that is comforting (not having to worry others because of my many problems (i dont count being AB/DL as a problem; im talking strictly about my on and off mental health issues); but part of it is curiousity and wondering what it would be like to be in a (hopefully good) relationship.

I hope im not worrying anybody because although ive been better and been worse i am okay and trying to deal with things the best that i can.

It is not my intent to get anybody to worry; but if you really want to i will gladly talk with anybody that wants to in a private message; i just dont want my problems to become the main focus of this topic as i know this is not the place for it and you guys are not mental health professionals (ive been there and done that).

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Actually I am a mental health professional if you ever want to talk. As for the relationship aspect, I hope you can experience it for yourself someday. Yes relationships have their ups and downs, regardless whether they are vanilla or not, but the pros outweigh the cons. I have been married to my wife for almost 20 years and they have been mostly great years. I won't go in the details of what it all entails but my wife has been very supportive and occasionally a willing participant, filling the role of "mommy".

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41 minutes ago, Babyqtboy said:

Actually I am a mental health professional if you ever want to talk. As for the relationship aspect, I hope you can experience it for yourself someday. Yes relationships have their ups and downs, regardless whether they are vanilla or not, but the pros outweigh the cons. I have been married to my wife for almost 20 years and they have been mostly great years. I won't go in the details of what it all entails but my wife has been very supportive and occasionally a willing participant, filling the role of "mommy".

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Shortly after we met in May 1991 Don became my "Daddy Don". Immediately we converted an unused studio in a building he owned into my Playspace.

I actually am profoundly urinary incontinent. In ctober 1990 I accepted AB play as a strategy to deal with the frustrations of needing diapers 24/7.

Our master bedroom is also a functioning adult nursery with a changing table and waterproof sheets on our bed.

I have an extensive collection of AB clothing. These days my gauze diapers are supplied by DyDee Service.

Every night when Don gets home in time he changes me into pinned gauze diapers before dinner and again before I am tucked into bed. Several times a week I play as an AB.

Since 1990 I have written extensively about AB, first for DPF and now for DD.

We have a circle of like-minded local adult friends including my youngest sister and her husband.

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On 9/15/2017 at 2:07 AM, Babyqtboy said:

Actually I am a mental health professional if you ever want to talk. As for the relationship aspect, I hope you can experience it for yourself someday. Yes relationships have their ups and downs, regardless whether they are vanilla or not, but the pros outweigh the cons. I have been married to my wife for almost 20 years and they have been mostly great years. I won't go in the details of what it all entails but my wife has been very supportive and occasionally a willing participant, filling the role of "mommy".

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8 hours ago, Firefly 35 said:

So in your experience, how common are ABDL fetishes/interests?

In my experience, not very common, but I am sure a lot of that has to do with my area of expertise, which is trauma and PTSD. I suppose it is possible I have had ABDL clients and not known it. From an academic standpoint, there is not a lot of literature on ABDL. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I have noticed a lot of people here who question their mental health in regards to this lifestyle and all I can say is that there are very few mentions of anything ABDL related in any of the manuals and textbooks. The DSM-5 makes 2 vague references, one under sexual fetishes, which is only a mental health problem when it becomes so obsessive compulsive that it literally interferes with your life. The other mention is as regression as a symptom of trauma or abuse in children and adolescents. ABDL didn't even make the topic list in a social sexual psychology course I took. A large part of the problem is that this community could easily be broken down into 4 or more stand alone groups, and that doesn't even include sexual orientations. ABDL is really generic and not all together entirely accurate description or definition of the community as a whole. A large portion of the population actually relates to our community in one way or another, whether it is an oral fixation, or a predisposition to breasts, etc. etc. many people who would find the act of wearing a diaper or outright engaging in any infantile behavior unthinkable or repulsive,

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I engage in AB play quite often but not full time. My girlfriend is also active in the role as my Mommy Caregiver. During the weekdays my girlfriend holds a FT job so we of course do not engage in the play at those time and I also hold a job from Tuesday-Friday. During the weekdays our AB/Mommy time comes when she returns from work until my bedtime and if we agree that day w e want to continue throughout the night we shall do so. If not we go back to adults for the night until the morning before she goes off to work. The weekends are are full time AB/Mommy time. This is the time I am in diapers all day and childish clothing. I can only do baby things like watch kid shows on TV and listen to baby type of music during the weekend. During this time I am totally taken care of. So I guess if I would give it a percentage of time of Adult time to AB time for me it would be 70% AB time and 30% Adult time.

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I been reading a study by the American academy of sexologist. It calls ab ppl with mental disability and diaper lovers ppl with sexual fetishes. I haven't gotten all the way thru it but not bad so far

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31 minutes ago, Shawnie said:

I been reading a study by the American academy of sexologist. It calls ab ppl with mental disability and diaper lovers ppl with sexual fetishes. I haven't gotten all the way thru it but not bad so far

I think those are over generalized assumptions. Yes for most DLs' diapers are a fetish, but not all. As for AB being associated with mental disabilities is just wrong and harmful. For some, being AB is a means of coping with a childhood trauma or everyday stress. It is no different than drinking or doing drugs or engaging in other high risk behaviors. Could it be a symptom of a mental disorder? Definitely, but not a disability. Based off of what data is available I would say less than 1 percent of ABDLs' suffer from a disability directly caused by their lifestyle. That is not to say there isn't a comorbidity between mental disabilities and AB lifestyle. There are plenty of people who use drugs but aren't addicts, so we don't classify them as having a mental disorder. The same practice should be applied to any behavior encountered in society

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1 hour ago, Shawnie said:

I been reading a study by the American academy of sexologist. It calls ab ppl with mental disability and diaper lovers ppl with sexual fetishes. I haven't gotten all the way thru it but not bad so far

Who is this study by?

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I certainly agree that ALL ABDL don't have a Mental Illness. For me it is an enjoyment I have with my girlfriend and we enjoy the role playing together. We know when we need to also have our adult time together as that is also very important to the both of us. I think some studies and some professional just like plastering labels on things way too fast and they generalize it way too much.

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5 hours ago, Shawnie said:

I been reading a study by the American academy of sexologist. It calls ab ppl with mental disability and diaper lovers ppl with sexual fetishes. I haven't gotten all the way thru it but not bad so far

Who is this study by, and is it about the entire abdl community or just a certain part of it?

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To some extent, I always get to enjoy or at least experience my AB/DL side - I have pretty much complete urinary incontinence and chronic problems with messing control, so diapers are a fact.

I make sure my partners are aware beforehand. I have what I would consider a decent private life.

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On 9/15/2017 at 3:37 PM, Babyqtboy said:

Actually I am a mental health professional if you ever want to talk. As for the relationship aspect, I hope you can experience it for yourself someday. Yes relationships have their ups and downs, regardless whether they are vanilla or not, but the pros outweigh the cons. I have been married to my wife for almost 20 years and they have been mostly great years. I won't go in the details of what it all entails but my wife has been very supportive and occasionally a willing participant, filling the role of "mommy".

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11 minutes ago, Firefly 35 said:

But aren't people who publish "professional" papers like suppost to make sure they have all their facts straight?

You would like to think so, but no, not always. I dont even know what this paper is or if it was peer-reviewed or by supported by much evidence. I would like to see the actual paper before drawing conclusions.

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12 minutes ago, Firefly 35 said:

If it's not peer reviewed or even supported by evidence, how would anyone take it seriously?

That is my point and why I want to actually see it. Peer-review is not the gold standard that some think it to be, but it is certainly helpful. I look more for evidence-based results. The vast majority of what I have read about ABDL issues in publications is nearly entirely worthless and totally incorrect, largely because they base their assessments on a handful of patients and not on the entire community. It reminds me of a Psychiatrist that claimed that child sex offenders have

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4 hours ago, Babyqtboy said:

I can show you multiple cases where this just isn't true, the most famous one is the researcher who faked data to prove a link between vaccines and autism. I would be extremely grateful if you could post a link to this study or at the very least tell me the name of the author and the paper

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"how much am i into it?" - im not particularly anything really AB, im definitely a DL.. the closest AB thing i can think of, is that me and my g/f play with her little stuffed piggy by making her dance, play, snuggle, do tricks, etc etc. it's mostly her, but i get in on the fun too! i don't like printed diapers, many printed clothes/onesies don't do anything for me (though i have found a few printed onesies that i think are cute and kinda want), binkies, bottles,

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