LL Medico Diapers and More Bambino Diapers - ABDL Diaper Store
puddles

Another girlfriend story.

Recommended Posts

puddles    0

Hey everyone. I have a huge problem. Me and my girlfriend have been together for around 2 years now and I told her about my diaper thing around 1 year mark. At first she was shocked and then she slowly tried to understand it but now when I brought the topic up and said that I would like to try to maybe make it into a sexual kink which I have wanted for a longest time she went 180 degrees and this morning she couldn't believe it and said that it is not normal. We've been together for 2 years, but half of it she has spent time in china where she studies and I have been back home. She hasnt seen my in a diaper and the whole situation freaks her out. She said one time that this results in  pedophilia or I have had some backlashes from my childhood. I need help badly cause I don't want to lose her. She is everything to me. The real question is How do I make her comfortable around me?

Share this post


Link to post
smarti    18

She's gotta understand that a) this is not pedophilia and b ) this is a permanent part of you that won't go away. Otherwise you might have bigger troubles down the road, if you persist with the relationship .

Share this post


Link to post
puddles    0
34 minutes ago, smarti said:

She's gotta understand that a) this is not pedophilia and b ) this is a permanent part of you that won't go away. Otherwise you might have bigger troubles down the road, if you persist with the relationship .

What do you mean by bigger problems down the road?

Share this post


Link to post
Babyqtboy    8

My advice, which you can take it or leave it, is to be fully honest with her. Try your best to explain why this is a part of you and what it means to you. You have to be prepared to make a choice though, you can't force her to accept this or participate. If she doesn't want anything to do with diapers but still loves you and wants to be with you, can you respect that and keep your diaper life and your relationship with her separate? If not, it might be best to part ways because the resentment on both sides will tear you both apart down the road. This is both professional as well as personal advice. I have been married almost 20 years and have gone back and forth with my wife on the diapers. I am also a behavioral psychologist in RL. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
New2DL    12

I agree with Babyqtboy. A lot of how you plan your next course of action depends on how deeply you've talked about this in the past. I'm guessing based on her assumptions of pedophilia that either you didn't get very in depth with this or you didnt talk about it enough. There's a lot that she doesn't understand, and whether or not this gets introduced sexually, you need to try to get her to understand as much as possible.

I'm actually in your girlfriend's shoes... sort of. I wasn't a DL originally. I was introduced to it by my boyfriend six months into the relationship. We've been together a couple years now. Pedophilia never occurred to me, but I can understand why someone might jump to that conclusion. Naturally I'm a very curious and inquisitive person, so even though inwardly I was very confused and upset, I still wanted to understand. So we sat each other down, several times in fact, and spent hours passing questions and answers back and forth. He was as thorough and honest as he could've possibly been, and it helped me greatly to understand. It also helped looking through forums like these, even though everybody has different tastes in the ABDL community. 

When someone says "It's not normal" it's just not true. Not only are there so many people who are into it (and the percentage of those who actually are pedophiles is so miniscule it's practically non existent and completely unrelated) but once you get into the reasons why someone started to enjoy being in diapers, it simply boils down to basic human instinct. We do what feels good. 

That's what got me to understand the most. I'm assuming this goes the same for you, since this is a very common story among other ABDLs. Basically all babies masterbate, they just aren't fully aware of it. Not a very comfortable fact, but it's true. Normally by the time they become aware of it, they've been out of diapers for a couple years. However, in cases where someone stayed in diapers for too long, like bed-wetters, that kid learns to do it in a warm wet squishy diaper. At that point you can't erase that part of you because nothing can compare. I mean, who doesn't like oral sex? Well, there you go. It's not oral sex, but it's equally warm and soft and lubricated. And that's how you learn to masterbate. You can't just stop and be expected to do it the conventional way for the rest of your life. That's ludicrous. That's nearly equivilant to telling a non-ABDL to only masterbate hands-free from now on. It just won't work.

That's essentially how my boyfriend explained it to me, and this detail was the main factor in helping me understand. Of course people differ from there in their interests and for a variety of reasons. But in general it all leads back to the memory of being in diapers and learning how to masterbate in them. Overtime it just gets integrated into sexuality and adulthood.

Before this part of the conversation the whole thing made zero sense to me. I had no idea that a diaper could actually be pleasurable. I could understand in a sense how it could provide a type of emotional comfort and security. But sexually it sounded kind of screwy, and frankly quite perverted and disturbing, until that detail was brought to light. Then it all made perfect sense... at least to me. It still seemed disturbing for a while because I hadn't gotten used to the idea yet. But over time, and over lots of discussions, and studying forums like these (and even looking at some diaper porn as well) as my understanding grew so did my comfortability.

Then, because I'm naturally curious, I wanted to know just how good it feels. So over time I grew more comfortable with the idea and tried it for myself. And here I am. A second-hand DL, if you will. Even if my relationship were to end, I'm very certain I wouldn't stop using diapers for myself.

Well, that's how it worked with us in a nutshell. Hopefully my story will give you some ideas on how to discuss this further with your girlfriend. Like the others said though, keep in mind that not everybody is willing to try to understand complicated issues like this. Try your hardest to fight for your relationship, but be prepared for the idea that it may have to come to an end. Expect the worst, hope for the best. In the end it'll work out the way it was meant to. Good luck.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Babyqtboy    8
8 hours ago, New2DL said:

I agree with Babyqtboy. A lot of how you plan your next course of action depends on how deeply you've talked about this in the past. I'm guessing based on her assumptions of pedophilia that either you didn't get very in depth with this or you didnt talk about it enough. There's a lot that she doesn't understand, and whether or not this gets introduced sexually, you need to try to get her to understand as much as possible.

I'm actually in your girlfriend's shoes... sort of. I wasn't a DL originally. I was introduced to it by my boyfriend six months into the relationship. We've been together a couple years now. Pedophilia never occurred to me, but I can understand why someone might jump to that conclusion. Naturally I'm a very curious and inquisitive person, so even though inwardly I was very confused and upset, I still wanted to understand. So we sat each other down, several times in fact, and spent hours passing questions and answers back and forth. He was as thorough and honest as he could've possibly been, and it helped me greatly to understand. It also helped looking through forums like these, even though everybody has different tastes in the ABDL community. 

When someone says "It's not normal" it's just not true. Not only are there so many people who are into it (and the percentage of those who actually are pedophiles is so miniscule it's practically non existent and completely unrelated) but once you get into the reasons why someone started to enjoy being in diapers, it simply boils down to basic human instinct. We do what feels good. 

That's what got me to understand the most. I'm assuming this goes the same for you, since this is a very common story among other ABDLs. Basically all babies masterbate, they just aren't fully aware of it. Not a very comfortable fact, but it's true. Normally by the time they become aware of it, they've been out of diapers for a couple years. However, in cases where someone stayed in diapers for too long, like bed-wetters, that kid learns to do it in a warm wet squishy diaper. At that point you can't erase that part of you because nothing can compare. I mean, who doesn't like oral sex? Well, there you go. It's not oral sex, but it's equally warm and soft and lubricated. And that's how you learn to masterbate. You can't just stop and be expected to do it the conventional way for the rest of your life. That's ludicrous. That's nearly equivilant to telling a non-ABDL to only masterbate hands-free from now on. It just won't work.

That's essentially how my boyfriend explained it to me, and this detail was the main factor in helping me understand. Of course people differ from there in their interests and for a variety of reasons. But in general it all leads back to the memory of being in diapers and learning how to masterbate in them. Overtime it just gets integrated into sexuality and adulthood.

Before this part of the conversation the whole thing made zero sense to me. I had no idea that a diaper could actually be pleasurable. I could understand in a sense how it could provide a type of emotional comfort and security. But sexually it sounded kind of screwy, and frankly quite perverted and disturbing, until that detail was brought to light. Then it all made perfect sense... at least to me. It still seemed disturbing for a while because I hadn't gotten used to the idea yet. But over time, and over lots of discussions, and studying forums like these (and even looking at some diaper porn as well) as my understanding grew so did my comfortability.

Then, because I'm naturally curious, I wanted to know just how good it feels. So over time I grew more comfortable with the idea and tried it for myself. And here I am. A second-hand DL, if you will. Even if my relationship were to end, I'm very certain I wouldn't stop using diapers for myself.

Well, that's how it worked with us in a nutshell. Hopefully my story will give you some ideas on how to discuss this further with your girlfriend. Like the others said though, keep in mind that not everybody is willing to try to understand complicated issues like this. Try your hardest to fight for your relationship, but be prepared for the idea that it may have to come to an end. Expect the worst, hope for the best. In the end it'll work out the way it was meant to. Good luck.

The thing to remember, whether you are a DL and this is sexual, or an AB and this is lifestyle, or a little of both even, is that when you strip away the diapers and kinks or fetishes, or hang ups, or whatever it is you are worried about your partner finding out about or how they will react when they do find out,  it is nothing more than a relationship; which is a two way street that requires lots of practice, nurturing and attention, and most importantly, constant communication from both sides. If you aren't ready to talk about this then you certainly aren't ready to take the relationship to the next level. It is easy to confuse Id with ego when dealing with any form of sexual gratification. What you have to ask yourself is this, do want someone to share in your diaper interests, or do you want Her to know the real you even if she doesn't want anything to do with your diapers? I know in the moment it's hard to decide what is real and what is desired fantasy.

Share this post


Link to post
New2DL    12

This is very true. This won't work at all without lots of communication, and from both sides. It's not just about you telling her everything. It's also her opening up and asking questions. And vice versa. In a lot of cases the id and ego both play a role, at least with this type of sexual gratification. Often as a child it starts as impulsive and primal, just doing what feels good, but becomes integrated into ones' sexuality, personal identity and sense of self as they age, stemming from sexual, mental and emotional factors relating to the fetish. It's important she understands both aspects: the impulsive instincts of sexual gratification, and any kind of emotional and/or mental ties you've developed to diapers that have integrated into how you identify with yourself. She needs to understand both in order to understand that you can't just quit or ignore it. It's become a part of who you are and has likely played a significant role in some of the decisions you've made throughout your life that's led to the development of the person you are today. Possibly social or relationship choices for example.

In my last response I mainly focused on the id aspect  (the innate instinctual aspect responsible for the sexual aspect of this fetish) primarily because that was the particular aspect that I did not understand prior to having those discussions with my boyfriend. I could already understand the sense of comfort and security one could get from wearing a diaper, as well as the variety of mental and emotional factors stemming from diapers that can impact you throughout the years. That part just made sense to me. What didn't make sense was the sexual part, and that severely freaked me out until it was thoroughly explained. So I focused heavily on that in my last response. I wasn't at all negating the importance of any of the other factors involved. I just didn't have much to say on the subject because I personally didn't really have many problems understanding the other aspects.

Plus, I also had a suspicion that perhaps her turn for the negative has a lot to do with her lack of understanding for the sexual side of ABDLs, similar to My experience. My reasons being, she was seemingly doing well in accepting and understanding to the best of her abilities, until you mentioned your sexual fantasy with diapers and contemplating on trying to make it a reality. To which she flipped 180 and is now having a hard time accepting it. And considering she's relating this to pedophilia, it sounds like she does have a poor understanding.

However, if you two never really talked about it, and were just sort of rarely acknowledging this side of you, and if she was keeping it an "out-of-sight, out-of-mind" thing, then she may have never been able to accept it. She might've just been trying not to think about it. Over time the emotions build up as they're bottled in, and since the sexual part might freak her out the most like it did for me, that might've just been the last bit of pressure in that bottle that blew the lid off.

Case in point, making sure she fully understands your interest in diapers and the reasons why, as well as her willingness to listen and ask questions, are both the key. If these things cannot be accomplished, I'm sorry to say but the relationship most likely won't work out in the end.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
tehse7en    6

My last girlfriend and I split after dating for 1.5yrs due mostly in part to my diaper kink.  We talked about it every so often and she would do some research online and read forums like this one but ultimately she decided for herself that it was "unhealthy" as she put it to me in conversation one night, and that it wasn't something she was going to be around.  I repressed it for months and eventually came to the realization that the relationship couldn't go any further.  How can do people who love each other build a life together, move in together and maybe get married if one person doesn't accept the other?  What was I supposed to do?  Wear when she would go out on errands?  Or get a hotel room alone so I could wear in private?  That's no way to live, at least not for me.  Not being accepted for who you are by your spouse or significant other is one of the worst feelings :(  After we split, a month or so later, I asked her to go see a sex therapist with me to help us both, but she refused and said she was already seeing a "general therapist" who told her my diaper habits were wrong.  So.  yea.  Be honest with her, and if she wont' accept it, I'd consider moving on with your life without her.

Share this post


Link to post

My first marriage came to a quick halt after I introduced my diaper desire to my wife, we where talking and she asked what the craziest thing I had ever done, I told her I wore a adult diaper while hunting, she was shocked to say the least, she asked where I got the diaper, I told her I bought them at the drug store, she asked how many, I told her a pack of 10, she wanted to see them so I went and retrieved the remainder diapers, she was not impressed, she asked me to put on , so I did. Again she was not impressed.

As I was still standing there she asked me why I would want to wear one, I said I liked how it felt when I pissed in it, the look on her face was not good. Like a fool I stood there and pissed the diaper, that was all it took she had made up her mind I was not the man she wanted in her life. 

So yes be very carefull how and when you introduce your diaper desires to your girlfriend or new wife. 

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now