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New2DL    5

Hey there, my name is Sam and I'm new to this forum - or rather new to forums in general - but I decided to sign up because I have some questions that need answering, and it looks like this is a good place to start. Sorry in advance for the long intro, but I think I'm a little different than most others on this site, so I guess I feel the need to explain a bit.

 

I'm not actually a "part" of the ABDL community in the traditional sense. I was introduced to it by my boyfriend some time ago after he hid it for almost half our relationship. He was so terrified to tell me, he was visibly shaking and had to down a few drinks first just to get it out. In all actuality, I'm the only person he's ever told, ever. So this was a huge thing for him.

 

At first, I'll admit I was actually really hurt by this (although I didn't show it, I didn't want him to feel any worse) because I just wanted a "normal" relationship. But after a LOT of Q&A conversations and doing a bit of my own research, I decided to give it a try. In part, because I was curious. But mostly because this is such a big part of his life, and I didn't want to be left out!

 

Primarily his interest in diapers is purely sexual. So we went through a lot of trial and error to figure out what I liked, both for when I'm alone as well as for when we're together. Now that was an adventure. Really, that adventure is never ending. There are always new things to try. 

 

It took a little while for both of us to get over the weirdness. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was supposed to feel ashamed, and I was having a hard time getting comfortable with it. But eventually after several failed attempts at diaper sex, one night it just clicked. We were both able to get comfortable with it, relax, let go, and enjoy it. And it was easily one of the top 5 best experiences of my life. For the next few months he was completely on cloud 9. Once I saw the impact it made on him, not just with sex but with life in general, I knew I made the right decision to get involved with his fetish. I'd never seen him so happy, confident, and completely comfortable with himself and with me. Now we're closer, our trust is stronger, and we can be completely vulnerable with each other without being afraid. Which is a wonderful feeling neither of us have ever felt before.

 

On top of all that, now he's got me completely hooked. I'd much rather have a diaper on during my "alone time", and I gleefully anticipate the next time we have diaper sex. Plus, if I look at porn, generally now it'll be of this genre. I don't remember ever being in diapers like he does, although we're both certain if I did this would've been a life long interest for me as well. Plus, it just seems like I was made for this sort of thing. I've actually been having a bit of trouble in the pleasure department for a handful of years, especially during my "alone time". Well, this fixed it right up!

 

Now some time has gone by and I'd say we're pretty familiar with each other in this department. As such, our curiosity for exploring our options is beginning to peak, so here I am and loaded with questions. I've pretty much accepted that there is no going back, and I don't want it any other way.

 

So hopefully my joining this site isn't too weird for anyone, considering I'm not a conventional DL. But I'd like to be active in the things that are important to him, which are now important to me as well. So I'm here to learn!

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Anyone who is open to the ABDL spectrum is welcome here. Even people who dont typically use diapers like most people here do. If you ever have any questions about the lifestyle feel free to let me know, I have been an AB for quite a while.

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New2DL    5

Awesome, thank you for the welcome! It's kind of funny, before my boyfriend opened up about this, I really had no idea how common this is. I knew a little about the AB aspect but I never knew there was such a wide spectrum. But I'm glad there's a place that I (and others) can go to for questions/support. I'll definitely start asking questions soon. ^_^

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AbabeBill    50

Hello and welcome. I think it's great how you both worked to a good place. I have been an AB/DL almost from day one. Of course, way back, I had no clue what the hell. And later, still not much of a clue, and didn't know there were others like me. 

I met my wife on another abdl website. We became friendly slowly, and decided to meet finally. She was not an abdl, but was curious. She was (and is) very open with my love for diapers and baby things. More so, then I am. It's hard for me at times, I struggle with being open, even with her. I know better, but it is still part of my being. I have spent a lifetime keeping this secret, being very careful, and over time I have become very good at not exposing myself. 

My wife, like yourself has taken up a love of, and for diapers and related. We both enjoy this together, and it's great. I still struggle with dropping my guard with her, while still needing to keep it secret from the rest of the world. No one else but my wife knows. Excepting my other abdl friends of course. 

I'm still learning, growing, and accepting. I've come a long way though, and have lots of experience and some hopefully good knowledge. Always will to help others, where I can too. 

So again, welcome, and hope you find this a good place to come to. Have fun, and enjoy! 

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New2DL    5

Thank you. :) I'm glad you found somebody who can accept, appreciate, and love you for who you are, as well as develop a shared interest in something as intimate as diapers and the like. I truly feel sad when I read posts on forums like these, where someone (usually a male) has this secret ABDL fetish and when their wife finds out, she completely forbids her husband from acting on his fetish, even by himself. So everything has to be done through lies and secrets.

Or even when the spouse says "okay you can do it on your own, but I want no part of it." I mean, it is perfectly understandable why many couples would come to these terms. But it still creates an unsupportive and somewhat shameful environment. This is actually what my boyfriend thought I would say when he first told me everything. He barely considered the possibility that I'd actually want to get involved. But I'd feel terrible if I told him to keep me out of it so I could pretend it's not real. It would just give him one more reason to feel ashamed.

It sounds like our situation is a little similar to yours and your wife's, except my boyfriend and I met in a more orthodoxal way. There really wasn't much foreknowledge about whether or not I'd be accepting, so he really took a chance with me. It also took him a little while to get over his conditioned defenses with me, but once he finally let his wall down neither of us have been happier.

Being vulnerable is a very frightening thing, even with someone you know you can trust. I've had major trust issues all my life for many reasons irrelevant to this discussion. So I do at the very least understand a fear and instinct of keeping yourself closed off from others. Before this relationship, neither of us believed we'd ever find somebody we could trust in 100%. Understandably, after a lifetime of learning that you must keep yourself guarded, it can take some time to bring that guard down for the right person. But it'll happen when it's time to happen. It just takes baby steps. Don't fight it or rush it. She sounds very supportive and understanding and patient, and fun too. ;) Having the ability to be totally vulnerable with the right person without fear is an extremely wonderful feeling, and definitely one worth waiting for.

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