Diapers and Mental Health in General

[BriBri360]

Not sure where to post this honestly, but this forum seemed like the best place.

Been an AB for many years, since I was 14-15-16, and I am going to be 37 in a month, and I have had mental health issues for over half my life, since I was 16 at the very least. Have never engaged in diapers as much as I have in the last few years, and they have brought many moments of joy, pleasure, and calm to my tumultuous life.

Lately though, not just AB, but other interests in general seem to be waning. However, I seem to be getting depressed, anxious, and paranoid more than usual and my personality disorder is present more than ever. I get these times where I just lose my sense of balance and general orientation/sense of awareness, particularly in the morning, in addition to be stuffed up in the head, ears ringing, and congested in my chest, and frequent headaches. It's almost like I've forgotten what things are for and that I don't know how to use the restroom. i also happen to have a weird sense of floating, even though I will be standing or sitting down.

Has anyone else with depression experienced this? What did you do/who did you talk to/how did you resolve it? Should I start looking into diapering myself full time instead of every once in a while? I am slightly afraid I might actually lost my bladder and bowel control, but I know it wouldn't be the worst thing. I have a therapist appointment coming up this week. I plan to mention it to my therapist.

Any thoughts or ideas?

[Sophie ♥]

Definitely mention this to your therapist, but you also might want to consider going to a medical doctor.

[BriBri360]

I don't have insurance unfortunately, so unless it's life threatening, going to a hospital or seeing a doctor is not something I can afford to do. My therapist works on a sliding scale so that is how I am able to afford to see her.

I did briefly mention these things to her in passing, but we talked about some other things that I have been going through and my time with her ran short today. I'll have to address this with her at our next meeting.

Thanks for your reply though. It is appreciated. If anyone else sees this thread, please feel free to respond, I will still check it frequently.

[ajthebabypie]

The sense of floating sounds like it may be what's called "dissociation", a feeling of being detached from your body. Not all that uncommon with depression and personality disorders. I experience it on occasion myself. I find that grounding exercises can help bring me to the present moment and help my brain find it's way back to my body so to say. My favourite ones are

[BriBri360]

The ringing of the ears has been on again and off again since I started attending concerts as a teenager. It's gotten more pronounced in the last few years, and is off again and on again. I have lessened the amount of time I listen to music and other noisy things, and I don't play them as loud. It has helped a lot in curbing this and keeping it from getting worse.

The headaches are in the last year on a daily basis or near daily basis. They can bother me sometimes only a couple days a week or everyday in a week. Sometimes it's related to caffeine, others a lack of eating. Sometimes I don't know what causes them because I'll have a bit of soda, or take some Excedrin, or eat if I haven't eaten in a while, and it will still be bad.

As for the stuffiness in my chest and my head/sinuses, balance and orientation, I really don't know what started causing it. It clears up a bit when I take allergy medication, but I don't do that everyday and since I am uninsured I can't afford to see a doctor. Urgent care is my only option and every one of those around here charge $100 or more per visit and I can't go to the ER anymore (I was doing that for a while).

I can only hope that I mention it during my next therapy appointment. I keep running out of time at them because there's so much to get through.