Start of a journey

[Cewyn]

Hi everyone. I am a long-time occasional lurker who has decided to join in at last.

I'm not sure if this post should go in the desires folder or under Diaper Lover, and I promise that future updates won't be anything like as long.

We

[Cewyn]

Time for an update. It's been a mixed couple of days.

After posting the first entry, I went to bed in normal underwear, but even though I emptied my bladder I still felt I needed to pee. I woke up twice, at 1 and again at 4, and managed to get to the bathroom both times. The second time, my bladder felt really uncomfortable even after peeing. I'm guessing that it was because it was holding a lot more pee than it seems capable of during the day.

Anyway, apart from a couple of tiny leaks, I managed to get through the whole day without an accident, although there were several close shaves. And then, just before we went to bed, my wife asked me to take out some rubbish. I had only gone less than 10 yards when a very strong urge hit me. I dropped the sack, but before I could get back into the house I wet my pants quite badly, and had trouble getting it to stop.

I cleaned up and put on some clean underwear, and last night had a much better night. Weird.

This morning I had to do some DIY - painting doors and woodwork, and my wife said I could wear a nappy if I wanted. We have agreed that I will only put one on if she agrees. She chose an old T-shirt and a pair of shorts which made it obvious that I was wearing a thick nappy.

I chose a Crinklz, which I am still wearing more than 5 hours later, although it is pretty bulky by now. I really like the Crinklz - they are much softer and more comfortable than the M4s.

I am now heading off for a shower, and will try to stay dry in normal undies after that.

In the meantime, I have been thinking a lot about strategies for next week when I will be working away from home. I dare not risk the hour and a bit drive without protection. I've been caught out on that stretch once before. The choice is between a full nappy or pull ups with a stuffer and plastic pants. If I go for the nappy I will have to stop somewhere to change because the place I am going to is going to be very busy, with everyone guzzling coffee and running to the toilet before we get down to work.

I'm going to pack a dozen pull ups and a few pairs of ordinary underwear for the week. If necessary, I can drive into town and pick up some more supplies. We'll see.

No more updates for a week.

[Arvetis]

It sounds like your wife is pretty into it?

[stevewet]

My wife is not at all in to nappies and wetting but has admitted to me she likes the fact I am incontinent and dependant on nappies. She says she has no idea why but she just loves me the way I am.

[Jeanette64]

Stevewet, could it be that she feels as an adult who has to take care of you in some kind of a way?

[Cewyn]

Thanks for the tip Arvetis. I'll check that out.

Well, it was a fairly uneventful week. In the end, I decided to wear a pull up with plastic pants for the journey, and to my surprise I arrived dry. I headed straight for the toilets, only to find that they were closed for cleaning, and boy did the guy take his time. By the time he'd finished, I had wet myself quite badly, but no leaks, so I had a quick change from the spares in my laptop bag.

I managed to stay dry pretty much most of the time during the rest of the week, with a few small leaks and several bigger ones, but nothing that my pull ups couldn't handle. The main problem was that the part of the building I was working in is undergoing a major refurbishment, and the nearest toilets were two floors up at the end of a long corridor. If they had been closer, I would have made it without wetting myself.

I had a couple of mornings where I thought I had emptied my bladder before having a shower, but no sooner had I dressed than I felt that now familiar warm sensation down below. The same happened again this morning back at home.

No night time problems, as usual, but I had to get up at least once every night.

So far the pull ups are doing a good job, and I've decided to leave the nappies for longer journeys. I've got one of those coming up in 10 days.

Provided I am not too far from a toilet, the pull ups are OK, and even when I had accidents, they did not leak, although they would obviously not take a full wetting.

What I have noticed with pull ups (Tena Active Fit dark blue briefs and the stripey Premium variety) is that they tend to start falling apart even if they are not very wet after a whole day of movement, and they also have a tendency to sag unless pulled up tight level with the belt on my trousers. On the plus side, they seem to become more comfortable the more they absorb. My wife also likes putting her hand on the soft warm bulge!

This morning I had a clear out of my underwear drawer, which is now 50/50 pull ups and cotton briefs and boxers, although I have not worn any regular underwear for nearly two weeks.

Unless things take a dramatic turn either way, it looks as though I will be in pull ups for the foreseeable future, and I certainly would not want to risk leaving the house without them.

Next update in a week from now.

[oldwetter66]

[Arvetis]

If you're looking for pullups that don't fall apart, I recommend Northshore Care GoSupreme underwear.

[Elbs]

You should probably see a doctor. Even if you don't mind being incontinent, it could be a sign of a serious health issue like diabetes or hydrocephalus.

[Bettypooh]

7 hours ago, YeOldeDiapers said:

[Cewyn]

Thanks for the advice. I will head down to the doctor in a couple of weeks to try to find out what is going on, but in the meantime I have two more weeks of pretty intensive work away from home. I am not in any pain, and feel well. My moderate incontinence has been going on for a long time, periodically, but it has definitely got worse. If there is an underlying medical condition. loss of bladder control is the only symptom.

In the meantime, here is an update.

I headed off on Monday and arrived dry. Apart from a few minor leaks which would have caused embarrassment if I had been wearing ordinary underwear, Monday and Tuesday passed without incident. Tuesday night was very different, and I woke up four times with a very full bladder. Each time I noticed that I was peeing large volumes, although I had not drunk alcohol or particularly large quantities before going to bed.

That was strange because often in the last few weeks I have had accidents and gone to the toilet, only to find that my bladder was holding not much more than cupful of pee.

Just before work started on Wednesday morning I felt a sudden increase in pressure and headed quickly for the toilet, only to find that it was closed for cleaning. The next toilet is quite a long walk away, and I would not have made it anyway. The pull up handled it well, without any leaks, but I spent the morning hoping that I would not have another accident because my underwear was unlikely to hold it.

A quick change at lunchtime, and everything was OK until the evening, when I lost control again on a short walk back to the flat where I have been staying.

The next two nights were uneventful, and I slept well, waking up dry as usual. Friday started with a small leak immediately after I got dressed after a shower, but my pull up was still in good shape at 6 when it was time to head home. A quick visit to the bathroom before the drive home, and off I went. Thanks to a couple of lumbering caravans, the journey took about 15 minutes longer than usual, but I arrived back without incident, and did not notice any pressure as I got out of the car.

No sooner had I got my bags and started walking towards the back door - about 10 yards - than the floodgates opened, and I only managed to stop the flow after I got into the house.

It was great to see my wife after another week of being away, and it took a while before she got round to asking how things were "down there". I had to admit that I had just wet my pants, although the last couple of days had been pretty good otherwise. She asked for an inspection. Incidentally, she also wants me to see a doctor.

I had come close to running out of pull-ups during the week, and so had headed down to a large supermarket, expecting to find my now standard Tena Active Fit blue pull-ups, but all they had were the standard white pull ups which do what I need but which look a lot less like men's underwear and a lot more like a nappy. Geriatric pants, my wife said. I've decided to order in bulk online to make sure I don't run out again.

A lazy Saturday lies ahead, and my wife has said it will be OK for me to wear my Crinklz today when we head off to do the shopping, if that makes me feel more comfortable.

It does because I won't have to worry about getting changed if I have an accident on the way.

More pull ups, hopefully the Tena men's pants, are on the shopping list pending the arrival of the online order. This will be the first time that I have bought my new underwear with my wife by my side.

Tomorrow I have to head back to work, but this time it's much further away - a 5+ hour drive, in fact, so it will be Crinklz, a booster and plastic pants with a pit stop at a service station before I arrive to change into a less obvious pull up.

I've been trying to remember the last time I wore ordinary underwear, and can't. It is amazing how quickly you get used to something a bit bulkier between the legs, and I like the feeling of security it gives. For the time being at least, pull ups are now my ordinary underwear.

[John73]

Nice, gotta admit though that you really have a thing for writing and I enjoy reading your stories. I have found myself feeling more "secure" as well. It's like I can't imagine not having something up there and not being an IT now, after all it's like you said, that I kind of started to like it and it's like this very positive aspect of my life right now, which made me feel more confident and stabilized in life overall, because I used to be really depressed of being IT, but no matter what I'm just looking for positives in every situation that I can find and just like you I started to like this security it gives, that I most like would never experience if not for being incontinence, so hey, it's not such a big deal, there are much worse things that people has to experience in life.

[Bettypooh]

I'm always with those who say to see a doctor when you experience a significant body change which you can't account for And to YeOldeDiapers, there's some semantics involved here. You said "disease", not "dysfunction" and that is the difference as my leakage it is not a disease but is a dysfunction. No big deal as you've very well explained things

You don't have to think about breathing, it's automatic, but imagine how life would be if it weren't. Eventually you'd get to where you could use most of your mind for other things but part of it would always have to be focused on the breathing function or bad things would occur. That's pretty much how my "dry years" in life were; one moment's failure to be aware of what my bladder was doing could end in disaster And as time weakened my control the level of concentration needed increased. That is very stressful and is definitely going to have an affect on your mental health And I've always had a fascination for wearing diapers, probably based on my knowing that I really should be wearing them. So for me it was a no-brainer to begin wearing 24/7 and simply letting my bladder do whatever it wanted to

[Cewyn]

Time for a weekly update, but first thanks to those of you who have commented.

John73 - I have not written any stories yet, but I have got a few ideas. Watch this space.

The week got off to a bad start. I went shopping with my wife wearing a nappy. We had only been in the supermarket for about 15 minutes when I had a major accident and my M4 leaked badly. Luckily I was wearing some dark trousers, but anyone who looked would have seen a long wet streak extending from my crotch almost down to my trainers. Stupidly I had left my change in the car, so I had a long walk to the car and back to get changed. The second nappy held up until bedtime.

On Sunday I had to head off to work, with a 6 hour drive, so I opted for Crinklz and plastic pants. The bulge in my jeans was pretty huge which got a lot bigger by the time I stopped for a short break after nearly 200 miles. I waddled into a supermarket and headed for the disabled toilet, which was in use. So I had a coffee, wet some more, and then headed off for a change into a pull up and plastic pants for the last stretch.

I really was hoping to get through at least a day without an accident during the week, but failed miserably. Although I had easy access to a toilet, I had 4 accidents on Monday, and two night time accidents. By night time accident I mean that I wake up needing to pee, but don't manage to get to the toilet before wetting myself.

That pattern was repeated pretty much during the rest of the week, although I managed to get down to just 2 accidents a couple of days.

The journey back saw noticeably less control than the journey out. Whereas I managed to drive nearly 50 miles before wetting on my way there, I had barely gone 10 miles on my way home before the first wetting. Again, the nappy held up well, but I was completely soaked by the time I stopped for a change 50 miles from home.

Back home, and my wife has been brilliant. Our sex life had definitely improved, and she agrees that we have to make the best of my new situation. Things are definitely looking up on that front.

We are heading off shopping again today, and tomorrow it's back to work. This time I have to make a slight detour to pick up a colleague and give her a lift.

I'm still experimenting with pull ups, and my current favourites are the white Tena pants. Not a sexy look, it has to be said, but they are soft and warm and seem to take a lot, although I would not risk a full flooding.

I took a look at the Northshore pull ups, but they are not available in the UK, although I suppose I could order them from the States, but they would work out expensive. If anyone has any recommendations for good pull ups available from UK suppliers, I'd be interested to hear.

Oh, one last development which took me by surprise. I was getting ready for work yesterday and had just emptied my bladder before heading for the shower. As I undressed a stream of pee escaped and landed on the bathroom floor. I had no warning and had no feeling of peeing.

The chances of getting back into ordinary underwear any time soon and receding fast.

[Cewyn]

Another quick update, and probably the last for a while unless there is a significant change. The last two weeks have been a roller coaster, with several days when I managed to stay dry most of the time, and others when I had little control. Something I don't understand is that sometimes my bladder manages to hold a large amount before the urge to pee kicks in. On others, I start wetting suddenly, dash to a toilet and find that there is only about a cupful in there.

Every time I thought I might be able to return to wearing ordinary underwear, my bladder has given me a powerful reminder why that would not be a good idea. I would certainly not dare leave the house without a pull up, and even at home I keep getting caught out.

My wife has been very supportive, and now makes sure I pack some spares every time we go out. On Saturday we headed off for a long weekend and a long drive. We had gone less than 20 miles when she announced that she needed a toilet. I was a little annoyed and asked why she had not gone before we left. "I did, and anyway that's a bit rich coming from someone who is wearing nappies because he can't keep his pants dry". That put me in my place.

In the meantime, I am planning to submit my first story to the story forum on this site.

[Ferix]

Hey Cewyn, good read and I hope you figure out what's going on.

I really like tena pull ups and wear them quite often. I know what you mean when they start to fall apart and sag. I usually put a thin booster into the pull up to help keep it all together;

[sorjello]

cewyn:

hi! i just wanted to ask if you'll give us a further update

[stevewet]

On 31/08/2017 at 6:55 AM, Cewyn said:

Another quick update, and probably the last for a while unless there is a significant change. The last two weeks have been a roller coaster, with several days when I managed to stay dry most of the time, and others when I had little control. Something I don't understand is that sometimes my bladder manages to hold a large amount before the urge to pee kicks in. On others, I start wetting suddenly, dash to a toilet and find that there is only about a cupful in there.

Every time I thought I might be able to return to wearing ordinary underwear, my bladder has given me a powerful reminder why that would not be a good idea. I would certainly not dare leave the house without a pull up, and even at home I keep getting caught out.

My wife has been very supportive, and now makes sure I pack some spares every time we go out. On Saturday we headed off for a long weekend and a long drive. We had gone less than 20 miles when she announced that she needed a toilet. I was a little annoyed and asked why she had not gone before we left. "I did, and anyway that's a bit rich coming from someone who is wearing nappies because he can't keep his pants dry". That put me in my place.

In the meantime, I am planning to submit my first story to the story forum on this site.