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From fully continent, to fully incontinent.


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@Ferix By "cry" I meant "shout" as in "the crowd cried out for more" or "hue and cry" ;) It was not meant in any negative way at all, and every one of us who has gone onto this path has symbolically screamed our lungs out hoping that someone would hear us and bring us an "instant incontinence" answer including me :blush:

IMHO instant incontinence is the "Holy Grail" of the ABDL world and even moreso if it could be turned on and off at will. Maybe someday but till then it's a long journey and I'm glad you've made it as far as you have :D

Bettypooh

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3 hours ago, Bettypooh said:

@Ferix By "cry" I meant "shout" as in "the crowd cried out for more" or "hue and cry" ;) It was not meant in any negative way at all, and every one of us who has gone onto this path has symbolically screamed our lungs out hoping that someone would hear us and bring us an "instant incontinence" answer including me :blush:

IMHO instant incontinence is the "Holy Grail" of the ABDL world and even moreso if it could be turned on and off at will. Maybe someday but till then it's a long journey and I'm glad you've made it as far as you have :D

Bettypooh

Okay, that makes more sense. I come from a predominantly "red-neck" family. Sometimes, at least in the few times I've seen it used by my family, "Boy howdy" can be said sarcastically with extreme prejudice so I originally miss-read what you said as "quit your bitchin'" and not "I sympathize, we all want that" :P

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Just wanted to say, thanks so much for continuing to keep us all updated! 

As someone who is also untraining, it's been really interesting to compare experiences and stories as we both go along (though mostly from the sidelines, since I don't post a ton here), and it's kind of nice to know that someone else is currently doing the same thing as me and that we're in this together in a sense, albeit from other sides of the world ^_^

Best of luck as you keep going forward @Ferix , I don't think it'll be long at all before you achieve your goal :D

 

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For me, the drift into incontinence is not only about the practicalities—such as diapers, changes, and the possibilities of accidents—but self-identity. I am now incontinent. I am a particular and new person; the intersection of disparate images, woman, transsexual, abdl, retired, neighbour and, now, an incontinent.I am twisting together fantasy and reality into a singular "being". More than having diapers on all day and night, has been the admission to my doctor, my counsellor, a business, and my friends that, "I am incontinent." In the days, since, as awareness of wetting has declined—and it has been alarmingly quick—I've also 'tested' myself by returning to just panties. It is the increasing worry about wetting that compels me back into diapers. I'm conflicted about becoming truly incontinent; there are those occasions were being diapered is truly well beyond inconvenience. Wearing diapers is no longer sexual; there is as yet an undiscovered psychological compulsion, a need to be diapered. 

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Fantasy and reality or dreams and reality? A bit of difference there ;) Most of us spend our lives compromising our dreams for practicality, usually for career or family concerns. So when the kids are gone and retirement arrives, all that which we had once set aside now becomes a real possibility. But having repressed it for so long those desires can overwhelm us when we open the long-closed door we hid them behind. As in the initial stages, experimenting and discovery are still a good way to approach things. Since some of that has already been done in your past, you've got a good head-start with that :thumbsup: I see three options here: try to stay dry; try to not stay dry; and fuggedaboutit wearing when you want or need to then hoping you made the right choice for that day. On the last you can hedge your bets by having a diaper and dry clothes along in case of an 'accident'. Which is an equal hassle to being Incon. That hassle-equality didn't make much sense to me so I went for diapers only :rolleyes: A variant of the first option could be panties and pads- my own 'intro' to diapering.

True incontinence can indeed be a hassle as you're now locked into dealing with it and it must be given top priority over everything else. It's not for everybody and not always fun. Like when I went on a day trip with friends and used the one change I'd brought along far earlier than I'd anticipated- leakage worries ruined the rest of that day :( I learned to be better prepared but that made the logistics much harder to handle. My dream had been going good till that point where it collided with reality, and of course reality won :whistling: Had my wearing just been driven by fantasy it wouldn't have been so terrible a collision, for living out a fantasy can be altered while living out a dream can't. Thus the experimenting, which can help you sort one from the other B)

Often we cant pinpoint exactly why we feel the need to be diapered. It's something worth pondering over, but with or without the discovery of the reason(s) the need to wear remains, so that is really want we're dealing with. If you do wear 24/7 incontinence doesn't matter. If you don't wear then it can be a problem. Sometimes our body makes the choice for us (my situation). You're at a cross-roads with diapers optional going one way and mandatory if you go the other way. That's what's really bothering you. The latter choice can wind up being a one-way street- a big consideration :huh: Neither way is a game-ender, it just changes how you'll be playing the game. This is why you need to let your heart decide instead of your head. You know what you need to know and you know that you can handle things either way. So choose with your heart only- it won't mislead you :wub:

Bettypooh

 

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52 weeks in (1 year!):

Since my last update, I've noticed a dramatic loss of continence. I mentioned in my last update that I was able to mimic symptoms of incontinence 1 or more times a day... well, now it's constant and it's definitely actual incontinence! Part way through last week I noticed I was dribbling multiple times a day as well as having almost little to no warning before I would start wetting. I sometimes feel like i'm about to pee, like the urge to pee starts to build, but before the urge gets strong, I'm already weeping pee; I feel my urge to pee has diminished to where I'm not feeling it as much before I start peeing.

On multiple occasions, I tried testing my control by actually resisting urination. One instance I tried to stop the flow before it started. I could feel the pressure build and I knew I was about to get the urge to pee, so I tried holding it in. My efforts hardly did anything because once the urge hit, I would urinate without control. On another instance, I tried to stop the flow after it started and was only able to mildly slow it down but not come close to stopping it.

I've been so excited about this new change that I've been drinking a lot more fluids to experience incontinence feelings.  One thing I hadn't experienced before is having long period of dribbling. Just before dribbling, I would start to feel pressure build in my bladder. After about 5 to 10 seconds I felt a very mild, almost unnoticeable, urge to pee, accompanied by dribbles. I dribbled for 20 minute while driving my way back home. Once I got home, I stood up and I immediately started to pee full stream, emptying out the rest of my bladder. I'm now having 2 or more episodes of dribbling each day.

Night wettings have increased too! Last week I had 3 wet nights: Wednesday I had woken up for the first wetting and slept through the rest of the night to find a soaked diaper in the morning; Thursday and Friday I went to bed dry and woke up fully soaked; I must have wet multiple times as I didn't wake up at all during the night. I didn't wet in my sleep over the weekend as I was pretty restless in bed and was waking up because I was too warm from sunny weather. Last night, I wanted to sleep wet again, so I drank a bunch of water before bed in hopes that my body will automatically use the diaper. I imagined that I was giving myself a toast, "to an uninterrupted night of sleep." It was a success as woke up this morning completely soaked!

Bowels seem to be looser than ever. I had a bit of a surprise tonight right after I came home from work. I was grabbing something to drink out of the fridge when I felt the urge to pass gas. I didn't put a second thought into it and I let my body expel it like any other time I have gas--but this time it wasn't gas. I messed myself. I was actually embarrassed about it as my boyfriend was home and I had to tell him I needed a change and he wasn't going to help me this time because I messed myself (he always changes me when he's home). He laughed and said I was good for using my diapers.

Honestly, it's hard to believe I am actually able to untrain myself. Throughout my journey, there was always a part of me that was skeptical that untraining would actually work. I'm also surprised it took me exactly a year to convert to incontinent. I was expecting it to take much longer as I know from 2 friends who've worn 24/7 longer than me, that they still have control. It still all feels very new and surreal--the feeling of wetting and messing but not being able to do anything about it. It's an amazing feeling and I'm profoundly happy that I've succeeded.

I still think there's progress to be made. I'm going to keep posting any other changes that I notice or experiences that would be good to share.

On 4/8/2018 at 8:25 AM, Serah said:

Just wanted to say, thanks so much for continuing to keep us all updated! 

As someone who is also untraining, it's been really interesting to compare experiences and stories as we both go along (though mostly from the sidelines, since I don't post a ton here), and it's kind of nice to know that someone else is currently doing the same thing as me and that we're in this together in a sense, albeit from other sides of the world ^_^

Best of luck as you keep going forward @Ferix , I don't think it'll be long at all before you achieve your goal :D

 

I'm really glad my updates have been helpful.

You, betty, and others are quite right that I didn't have much longer until I reached my goal. I'm so happy about that!

It's awesome that you're enjoying diapers and untraining too, I wish you the best on your journey to achieve diaper happiness.

On 4/8/2018 at 12:09 PM, nitewets said:

For me, the drift into incontinence is not only about the practicalities—such as diapers, changes, and the possibilities of accidents—but self-identity. I am now incontinent. I am a particular and new person; the intersection of disparate images, woman, transsexual, abdl, retired, neighbour and, now, an incontinent.I am twisting together fantasy and reality into a singular "being". More than having diapers on all day and night, has been the admission to my doctor, my counsellor, a business, and my friends that, "I am incontinent." In the days, since, as awareness of wetting has declined—and it has been alarmingly quick—I've also 'tested' myself by returning to just panties. It is the increasing worry about wetting that compels me back into diapers. I'm conflicted about becoming truly incontinent; there are those occasions were being diapered is truly well beyond inconvenience. Wearing diapers is no longer sexual; there is as yet an undiscovered psychological compulsion, a need to be diapered. 

I can relate that incontinence is part of my identity. In my mind, when I first went 24/7, that was the day that I am now incontinent and from that day forward, I would never use my control. It took some adjustments to be able to fit incontinence into my life, but it's now a part of the fabric of who I am as it's woven into every aspect of my life.

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What your discussing is the very reason that many doctors fight a person using diapers, its an icy slope and you pick up momentum , and when you start wearing diapers any control you do have is heading out to see , same applies to wheelchairs once you get one your basicly agreeing to forget you have legs because your insurance will not cover any procedure for your legs in my case mother nature made both those choices for me , I started wetting the bed and and my pants so boom testing and straight to diapers and went trom walking to unsteady to paralyzed and not capable of using a walker so I got a rollator problem was because one side was paralyzed, I would lock the brake and it would take off swinging in circles so boom to the whelchair I went.Theres something we use in the disabled community that seems fitting there's no little bird on your shoulder to tell you enjoy this because its the last time , so if ýour having accidentsvtoday be gratefull because tommorow may be accidents forever and always , Enjoy today as nothing is written in stone about tommorow in your cases its a loss you want and acdept but remember it in life down the road to help you adjust to your "new normal" that may not be as welcomed as the storck hold the baby but definately deliver the diapers LOL , Congratulations to both of you daring to dream and achieving it.

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22 hours ago, Ferix said:

On multiple occasions, I tried testing my control by actually resisting urination. One instance I tried to stop the flow before it started. I could feel the pressure build and I knew I was about to get the urge to pee, so I tried holding it in. My efforts hardly did anything because once the urge hit, I would urinate without control. On another instance, I tried to stop the flow after it started and was only able to mildly slow it down but not come close to stopping it.

WOOHOO- a Full Year! :D

I'm not quite at that point physically but I'm not actively trying for incontinence, only not rejecting it. It does feel nice though, sort of like an affirmation of self :) I rarely try to hold anymore, only when my diaper is at capacity and I want a few more minutes before changing. I'm finding satisfaction in not knowing if my efforts will work or not, and it doesn't matter if they don't. As you've discovered this can be done and for those who need incontinence to be happy there is no substitute.

When you say that you're identifying as incontinent that is profound, and a positive indicator that you've done the right thing for yourself :thumbsup: I still can't figure out what drives us along this path if there's no AB desires at the forefront, but it is there anyway whatever it is. And there's no real need to over-think it anyway- just let the good things be a win for you and embrace them as such. When you can say "Yes I wear diapers. I'm incontinent." to anyone without feeling shame you know you're there.

I also want to compliment you on how well you've presented this as you've shared it all with us B) All the facts and emotions in balance, and without being long-winded like me :whistling: It's been a very pleasant time riding along with you on your journey :girl_happy:

Bettypooh

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 @Ferix Though I'm not actively trying to loose control, but like Betty, not really trying to prevent it, ever since being in the hospital 2yrs ago I been wearing 24/7 (A list of post surgery items I would need were "absorbent products", doctors should really just learn to say diapers, we know what they are, I mean really!). I have noticed that I do dribble a little now throughout the day, not enough to really do much to my diaper, but definitely an actual involuntary loss (I feel a slight tingle that tells me somethings coming out, but no ability to stop it). I also had one 100% messing accident, as in no warning whatsoever, I just stood up because I felt like I "might" need to go and as I stood up my bowels emptied, no feel of needing to hold it at all, was quite the surprise. I have had others that "might" have been preventable, but due to a bad decision were accidents, which are the "Mistaken fart" ones, where it ends up not being a fart which is becoming more common, I have a hard time distinguishing between a fart and a BM now, If I guess wrong at least I'm wearing a diaper.

Most wettings are by choice, and though I have always been a bedwetter (not very frequently), those do happen once a month or so. I do get sudden urges to pee, and though I could "probably" make it home if I held it, I usually let nature due its thing instead as it can get painful holding it too long so I rather use my diaper in those cases, which 9/10 times is when I'm on my way home from work, which is a 30 minute walk. I'm of two minds ATM, I don't mind if I do loose control completely, but having some control really doesn't bother me, though seems inconvenient now. I just wish my body would pick one.. though I would aim more towards a loss of control. I may not like messing accidents, I'm sure most of us hate the cleanup, but if I'm going to loose control I wish my body would "get on with it" and leave the "guessing game" I now deal with out of the equation.

I am glad that your progression is coming along though since its what you wanted. 

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My two cents on this, as someone who's gone from complete incon to in control to a degree (like most children) to complete incontinence at night, with day messing up to about 10 then just night incontinence from then on. Nappies have always been part of my life to a degree so I'm okay with wearing 24/7/365 as it makes no difference to me they have always been part of life. Mentally I would like to go back to 24/7 as well my autism side looks at it like this you start with 0 control you may end up with 0 control why the hell gain control just loose it all. Mentally I am okay with being fully incontenent again regardless of any of the cons as to me it's more natural. I just don't wear 24/7 yet cause of gymnastics I do and not wanting to wet or mess while only wearing a leotard and leggings. So yeah maybe one day I'll go to 24/7 as it feels right but not yet.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Hey all,

So it's been a little over a month since my last post and my symptoms and lack of control seem to be the same as it was since last post.

Most of the time, I feel little to no urge to urinate before I start actually urinating and I no longer have to consciously "release" to initiate flow. There are sometimes, when I'm sitting or laying, that I do get an urge to urinate; gravity or a kink to my urethra can cause me to retain urine. When that happens I will feel a very strong urge to urinate and I either start to immediately urinate (pressure builds and pushes urine through the kink), or I urinate as soon as I change positions or stand up. If I'm standing, I will often not get a warning or urge to urinate before I start urinating.

It's becoming a common occurrence that I will find myself soggy and unaware of when I had wet the diaper. Just this Monday, I was at the doctor's to be seen for some unrelated abdominal pain. I had worn a pull-up to the visit so I could easily pull off my pants when it came to exam time. I saw that the pull-up was dry during the exam but it was wet when I got home. I figured I would be more aware of when I used it because those things hold 1 to 2 small wettings tops but that wasn't the case. And no, the doc didn't ask any questions about the pull-up and I did not mention anything to him about it.

The previous week I was in the ER for the same unrelated abdominal pain. I had worn a diaper into the ER and taken changes just in case I was going to be there for a long time. When I arrived, they asked me for a urine sample so they could do a full work-up to see what was causing the pain. I had just wet and told them it would have to wait a bit before I could produce a urine sample. I did not to tell them I wear diapers because they didn't need to know and that I felt I still could produce a sample in a cup if I catch it before I get the urge. So I take the cup with me out to the waiting room. After 20 minutes, I make my way to the bathroom to try to go but I felt no urge and nothing came out. I waited another 20 minutes and as soon as I stood up, I felt the pressure build. I quickly made my way to the bathroom, pulled down the front of my pants and diaper, and started filling the cup. The cup was pretty small and it took just a few seconds before it was starting to get full. I didn't anticipate the cup filling so fast as I had one hand holding my pants and diaper down and the other holding the cup. As the level of urine reached the brim of the cup, I panicked and tried to stop the flow. For a split second, it slowed down to almost a dribble, then just as quickly as I slowed it down it sped right back up. I started spraying and splashing urine all over the toilet bowl and floor before I realized that I should just pull my diaper back up. Of course, I was courteous enough that I took a bunch of toilet paper and wiped up all the spilled urine so no one would know. I was pretty happy about that whole episode as it's solid evidence that my untraining has been working.

(If you're wondering what is going on with the abdominal pain, so are the doctors. It's been a chronic issue I've dealt with for years now but it has become more symptomatic over the past few months, which is why I'm seeing the doctor more. I've got several upcoming tests that we hope will narrow down the cause of the pain.)

I haven't noticed as much dribbling as I was hoping for since my last post. It happens only a couple times a week usually (unless I'm unaware of other dribbles).

Messing still seems to be about the same as where it was; I'm pretty relaxed down there and if I get the urge, then I'm already going.

On 5/5/2018 at 7:10 AM, wantspadding said:

Hey @Ferix, what's your changing schedule like these days?  Do you try and judge how much longer your diaper can last, or are you strictly on a schedule basis at this point?  And how are the soggy mornings coming along :)?

Good questions!

On work days I usually change twice a day. Most of the time, my diapers are not at capacity when I change. I will put on one diaper in the morning after I shower and that will last me all day. Then I change at night a couple hours before bed and that will last me all night. I always mess in the mornings so it's easy just to wear it until I need to shower. Some nights I go running with my boyfriend, so I will take off my daytime diaper and wear a pull-up for the run. On weekends, I still will go through 2 diapers a day but may add a booster to the diaper if I know I'm going to be drinking more fluids. Because my wettings are much smaller than they used to be, I feel like the diapers have a better chance of wicking and absorbing all the urine before leaking, increasing their capacity.

I haven't actually had much progress with night wettings. I've only had 2 episodes of night wettings, both of which were last week. Most nights I'm not wetting in my sleep. There's a chance that I don't notice some sleep wetting episodes as I wear a disposable with a cloth cover and pul pants over it every night to bed and they make it hard to tell how soggy I am.

So there you have it. That was just a really elaborate way of saying, I've hit a plateau. Even then, progress has been good and I'm happy at where I'm at. 

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  • 1 month later...

If you have a dietary scale aka drug dealer pocket scale weigh the diaper Before you put it on and weigh it when you take it off ,so long as you don't dump a morning bladder into it, it will register and weight change which would obviously be from urine output during the night.

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12 minutes ago, Cruiser 03 said:

If you have a dietary scale aka drug dealer pocket scale weigh the diaper Before you put it on and weigh it when you take it off ,so long as you don't dump a morning bladder into it, it will register and weight change which would obviously be from urine output during the night.

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Not entirely.  Don't forget all your perspiration from the night will be in there too.  It was hot here yesterday, & I wore a pullup for a couple of hours after saturating my cloth nappy.  I didn't wee in the pullup before I had to remove it, but it was significantly heavier than when I'd put it on.  Should have weighed it, but it's too late now as it's on its way to landfill.  I just use the kitchen scales btw (& a plastic bag for hygiene).

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hey @Ferix, any updates?  Any progress with the night wettings?  And how about messing?  Have your BMs stayed once-a-day, or any changes in frequency?  How do you plan to manage messy changes if/when they happen at work?  Hope all is well and your diapers are soggy :) 

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  • 1 month later...

Hi Ferris

I'm a newbie here but I've been a D/L for as long as I can remember. i'm now aged 50 and for the first time in 25 years I live alone and work from home mostly. I'm desperate to train myself to become DD and ideally dually incontinent and now appears to be my chance to start that journey. i've been really inspired by your blog and want to congratulate you.

I see you've not posted in a  while I'd love to hear how you are now and if your level of incontinence has increased further?

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On 5/23/2018 at 9:40 AM, Ferix said:

Hey all,

So it's been a little over a month since my last post and my symptoms and lack of control seem to be the same as it was since last post.

Most of the time, I feel little to no urge to urinate before I start actually urinating and I no longer have to consciously "release" to initiate flow. There are sometimes, when I'm sitting or laying, that I do get an urge to urinate; gravity or a kink to my urethra can cause me to retain urine. When that happens I will feel a very strong urge to urinate and I either start to immediately urinate (pressure builds and pushes urine through the kink), or I urinate as soon as I change positions or stand up. If I'm standing, I will often not get a warning or urge to urinate before I start urinating.

It's becoming a common occurrence that I will find myself soggy and unaware of when I had wet the diaper. Just this Monday, I was at the doctor's to be seen for some unrelated abdominal pain. I had worn a pull-up to the visit so I could easily pull off my pants when it came to exam time. I saw that the pull-up was dry during the exam but it was wet when I got home. I figured I would be more aware of when I used it because those things hold 1 to 2 small wettings tops but that wasn't the case. And no, the doc didn't ask any questions about the pull-up and I did not mention anything to him about it.

The previous week I was in the ER for the same unrelated abdominal pain. I had worn a diaper into the ER and taken changes just in case I was going to be there for a long time. When I arrived, they asked me for a urine sample so they could do a full work-up to see what was causing the pain. I had just wet and told them it would have to wait a bit before I could produce a urine sample. I did not to tell them I wear diapers because they didn't need to know and that I felt I still could produce a sample in a cup if I catch it before I get the urge. So I take the cup with me out to the waiting room. After 20 minutes, I make my way to the bathroom to try to go but I felt no urge and nothing came out. I waited another 20 minutes and as soon as I stood up, I felt the pressure build. I quickly made my way to the bathroom, pulled down the front of my pants and diaper, and started filling the cup. The cup was pretty small and it took just a few seconds before it was starting to get full. I didn't anticipate the cup filling so fast as I had one hand holding my pants and diaper down and the other holding the cup. As the level of urine reached the brim of the cup, I panicked and tried to stop the flow. For a split second, it slowed down to almost a dribble, then just as quickly as I slowed it down it sped right back up. I started spraying and splashing urine all over the toilet bowl and floor before I realized that I should just pull my diaper back up. Of course, I was courteous enough that I took a bunch of toilet paper and wiped up all the spilled urine so no one would know. I was pretty happy about that whole episode as it's solid evidence that my untraining has been working.

(If you're wondering what is going on with the abdominal pain, so are the doctors. It's been a chronic issue I've dealt with for years now but it has become more symptomatic over the past few months, which is why I'm seeing the doctor more. I've got several upcoming tests that we hope will narrow down the cause of the pain.)

I haven't noticed as much dribbling as I was hoping for since my last post. It happens only a couple times a week usually (unless I'm unaware of other dribbles).

Messing still seems to be about the same as where it was; I'm pretty relaxed down there and if I get the urge, then I'm already going.

Good questions!

On work days I usually change twice a day. Most of the time, my diapers are not at capacity when I change. I will put on one diaper in the morning after I shower and that will last me all day. Then I change at night a couple hours before bed and that will last me all night. I always mess in the mornings so it's easy just to wear it until I need to shower. Some nights I go running with my boyfriend, so I will take off my daytime diaper and wear a pull-up for the run. On weekends, I still will go through 2 diapers a day but may add a booster to the diaper if I know I'm going to be drinking more fluids. Because my wettings are much smaller than they used to be, I feel like the diapers have a better chance of wicking and absorbing all the urine before leaking, increasing their capacity.

I haven't actually had much progress with night wettings. I've only had 2 episodes of night wettings, both of which were last week. Most nights I'm not wetting in my sleep. There's a chance that I don't notice some sleep wetting episodes as I wear a disposable with a cloth cover and pul pants over it every night to bed and they make it hard to tell how soggy I am.

So there you have it. That was just a really elaborate way of saying, I've hit a plateau. Even then, progress has been good and I'm happy at where I'm at. 

Could have been my story. I'm at the exact same plateau, and have been there for a really long time. Only a few true sleep wettings. Messing in my diaper in the morning before hitting the shower. Wetting has increased in frequency, and with less output. Though I still have some control still, even after more than 5 years in diapers and training 24/7.

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  • 7 months later...
12 minutes ago, JaFty said:

Is there any update on this topic? Been reading with fascination!

I have tried reaching out to Ferix but he's either away or doesn't want to talk about the subject I think, and that's okay : )

I'm sure he'll be back if he wants to discuss it again.

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  • 1 month later...

What an excellent discussion! Thank you Ferix for all the updates and allowing us to follow your progress. I can only hope to reach that level. It would be great to hear any further updates if you get the opportunity. 

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  • 3 months later...

2 years, 5 months, 3 weeks untraining!

 

Hey! I'm still here and I'm still untraining!

 

So, it's been a while since my last update (like a year and a half almost!). I truly appreciate all those who have reached out to talk to me and I'm sorry i haven't posted updates sooner.

 

So what's happened?

 

Bladder: when I posted my one year update, I was at the point where I could simulate OAB and incontinence by staying relaxed whenever possible. I would pee frequently, like 10 to 15 times a day, and have occasional dribbling if I was very relaxed.

 

For a long time, I really felt like I still had control but never used it; I stayed relaxed and I never denied an urge to pee. This remained like this up until a month ago...

 

For the last month, my urinary control has taken a steep drop. I absolutely need protection at this point. Suddenly, i started experiencing stress incontinence multiple times a day, every day. Anytime I have pee in my bladder and I cough, sneeze, stretch, laugh, or bare down, I leak pee. One example: I was in the shower just last week and the urge to have a BM came on, so i quickly hopped out of the shower and sat on the toilet. As soon as my bowels moved, I heard the sound of water hitting the floor and I looked down to see a stream of pee and a small puddle a foot in front of me before I realized I was even peeing.

 

I'm also experiencing more frequent urination and OAB symptoms. When I get them, my urges have gotten way more intense and way more frequent. I often have the urge to go every 10 to 30 minutes. The slope to urination is steeper as well; for the most part it's now seconds from when I start to feel pressure to when I'm going... If that. There's absolutely no action needed to initiate flow anymore because if I get to the point that I have an intense urge to urinate, I'm already going. It doesnt matter what I'm doing either; the other day I was at work (I work on an ambulance), we were on scene with the fire department picking up an elderly woman who had fallen and broken her hip. I'm standing there talking to the fire deparment and the lady, making a plan to get her off the floor when I suddenly get the urge to go. It was a quick strong intense urge that quickly turned into wetting my diaper in front of everyone, all while I'm talking, walking around, and preparing equipment. (A side note: Walking doesn't stop the flow but it might slow it slightly with each step.)

 

Additionally, I have urges even when I don't need to pee. I will have the urge and then the sensation of my bladder contracting, sometimes multiple times an hour. Often times this does produce some urine, but only a dribble.

 

There are times when I'm unaware that I've peed or I catch myself mid pee. If I'm focused on a task, I sorta get an urge to pee in the background but I dont put much thought into it, then, if I break my focus I will find myself already peeing. Sometimes I'm so focused I didn't even noticed I peed, I just notice that my diaper is damp.

 

When I'm standing, things flow way more freely than sitting. Just last night I was cooking dinner and after I was done I realized I had a small wet spot on my diaper. I didn't have an urge nor did I feel myself pee. Sometimes when standing, I will dribble small amounts while the urge quickly builds, then the flow increases to weak stream, then back to an intermittent dribble for 30 minutes or more.

 

I can pee easily while sitting but my bladder seems to take a bit more urine to build the urge to go, nor do I per as freely. If I stand after sitting a while, I always experience an immediate urge to urinate and a small flood.

 

At this point, I feel like my bladder is hypersensitive to any amount of pressure. The bladder can retain some urine if it's mostly empty, but once the pressure starts to build, there's no stopping it from contracting or releasing,

 

What about bed wetting? Unfortunately, that has not progressed very much. There are occasional nights where, if I'm really tired or drunk when I go to bed, I wake up wet. However, most nights I'm woken up by an intense urge to pee, quickly followed by intense bladder spasms that push all the pee out (When my bladder spasms, theres nothing I can do to stop it, only slow it).

 

Nowadays, I'm having small wettings at night, 3 times a night some nights. I feel like what is preventing me from bedwetting is gravity and anatomy, because I can easily pee while laying. It takes more urine in my bladder to register any pressure when laying and the slope is so steep from no urge to intense, it's the urge to pee that wakes me and not being able to release. I'm hoping my bladder will eventually give in to the untraining and not bother waking me up with the urge before my bladder starts to spasm.

 

What about bowels? I definitely have less control!

 

I'm still having bowel movements regularly every day. They are always in the morning and rarely do I get more than one a day.

 

Like bladder control, I never deny the urge to mess and I always stay relaxed and allow my body to push it out. I can feel it come on with a few minutes of warning. It usually starts off with pressure, then I feel my internal sphincter relax and my colon contract. At that point I feel my bowels pass into my diaper if I'm not already going. If I have pressure down there and I go from laying or sitting to standing, I'm usually messing within a minute or sometimes immediately. One time I started to feel pressure as I was moving boxes around the house. As I bent down to grab a box, I felt the whole mess quickly push itself into the diaper, like squeezing toothpaste out of the toothpaste tube.

 

If I have loose stool or diarrhea, I have absolutely no control. A few weeks back I was sick with diarrhea. I had just gotten out of the shower after a messy cleanup and went to lay on the bed while I waited for my boyfriend to change me into another diaper. In just the minute I was waiting, I messed the bed! It was both super exciting and super embarrassing at the same time. We quickly pulled the offending sheets off the bed, then I wiped up and got diapered without any further incidents. With more firmer stools, I will help push it out and I always feel myself pee in the diaper when I go to push it out.

 

What did I do to get to where I am? Mostly, staying relaxed (reverse kegals if you will). My focus in the beginning for the first year and a half was catching myself at times I wasn't relaxed and practicing relaxing and getting myself to pee. After about a year and a half, I was staying relaxed in most situations without putting much thought into it.

 

More recently, I had read in another thread on DD about stimulating the bladder to contract by rhythmically pressing against the lower abdomen where the bladder is. I have tried that with success in causing contractions, which has seemed to increase the symptoms of OAB. I don't do this all the time, maybe a couple times a day if I find I haven't wet in a while. Sometimes when I stimulate contractions I produce nothing, most times though I either dribble or pee a small amount. I have been using this stimulation method as a way to just double check that my bladder is not retaining urine and to my "releif", I always find that there's never more than a small amount.

 

How have I been doing emotionally? Up until these recent changes, I have been constantly worrying that my efforts were not working and it was all pointless. I really felt like I could stop the flow but I just never chose to.

 

The need to become incontinent has only increased the more I wear. This need has had me dabbling with stents off and on these past few years. I'd put one in and have it in for up to 10 days at a time. During that time I would have no control, but as soon as I took it out, control was back and it seemed to have no affect on overall control.

 

I have gotten UTIs fron the stent. After one UTI that I went to the doctor for, I ended up getting another one a year later. I decided I wanted to try to fix it myself before going in. I found that I could buy FishMox from the pet store, which is 500mg amoxicillin pills but without the prescription. That cleared the UTI just like the prescription from the doc, but without the appointment and at a fraction of the cost.

 

After these recent changes, I tried the stent just this last weekend to see how things compared. It was nice not having urges and being able to wake up wet, but the lack of control seems to be marginally less than what I have without the stent.

 

I wont say never, but there's a good chance I wont be using stents anymore. It's risky and I also find it more satisfying to have bladder spasms, even though they can be distracting and intense at times. The contractions definitely bring back memories from when I was a kid, like when I wet my pants walking home from school or when I wet my pants while playing at the park. I know and feel it coming on and there's absolutely nothing I can do to stop it.

 

What about my boyfriend? He's been 24/7 for about 6 months longer than me yet he has more control than me. He's even tried the bladder stimulation technique but it seems to be harder for him to get it to work than me.

 

He's always been bladder shy and has had difficulty peeing around others. He has gotten a lot better with peeing around others and can pee in many more situations now than he could when he first went 24/7.

 

He still seems to have a ways to go. I hope he gets to where I am but worry I may be a special case since I've always had an abundance of mental focus and fortitude. Perhaps the rate at which I untrained is faster because of this mental focus, I'm not sure.

 

Does untraining work? Absolutely yes!

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Thanks for the update Ferix.  It's given me a good preview of what I can expect coming down the road.  I've been in nappies for a year except in bed at night, making no attempt to control my bladder (even at night - I wake before I need to wet, then head for the bathroom).  I'm pretty much where you were a year in, by the sound of it, and some of what you're describing since then I'm starting to get too, particularly there being just a few seconds between becoming aware I need to wet and the wetting starting regardless.  Luckily that doesn't happen when I'm lying down, i.e. the need to wet doesn't happen when I'm lying down.  That gives me time to get to the bathroom before anything happens.  I'm pretty sure I've marginally less control of my bowels than I did.  I don't really want to lose bowel control, but I was already aware that this tends to go with the territory.

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13 hours ago, Stroller said:

Thanks for the update Ferix.  It's given me a good preview of what I can expect coming down the road.  I've been in nappies for a year except in bed at night, making no attempt to control my bladder (even at night - I wake before I need to wet, then head for the bathroom).  I'm pretty much where you were a year in, by the sound of it, and some of what you're describing since then I'm starting to get too, particularly there being just a few seconds between becoming aware I need to wet and the wetting starting regardless.  Luckily that doesn't happen when I'm lying down, i.e. the need to wet doesn't happen when I'm lying down.  That gives me time to get to the bathroom before anything happens.  I'm pretty sure I've marginally less control of my bowels than I did.  I don't really want to lose bowel control, but I was already aware that this tends to go with the territory.

You're welcome!

 

Congrats on your progress so far. It sounds like untraining is working!

 

I have a friend who has been 24/7 for 6 to 7 years and untrained himself to be urinary incontinent but not bowel incontinent, so it seems possible you could achieve the same.

 

I would warn that with enough training, it will be risky to move from your bed to the toilet without protection. For me, anytime I'm laying or sitting for a period of time, I always immediately get a small flood as soon as I stand.

 

Good luck with your untraining! Stay diapered!

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