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The Wish - Chapter 20 Final Chapter Posted

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The Wish!

Written by JD © September 2013



Authors Note: This story is something I have been thinking about for a long time and is partially inspired by the movie ‘Mr. Destiny’. It is completely fictional and is not meant to be taken at all realistically. It is just wishful thinking on my part, where I truly wish it could happen for me… well, maybe not exactly this way. This story will contain diaper use but will be non-sexual. Now on to the story!



Chapter 1


Today was just one of those days! It started out bad and just got worse as it went along!


First off, I was fired today! I wasn’t just fired, I had been chewed out so badly by my boss, that they heard it 3 floors below! Now don’t get me wrong, I knew it had been coming for some time. You see, I work in a large advertising firm which I was hired at straight out of college. When I had first started there, I had been promised the moon and even more. Unfortunately, my skills in advertising turned out to be plain terrible. Because of this, I was never trusted with any of the larger accounts which also meant that my advancement opportunities were slim to none. Somehow though, I managed to keep my head above water and keep my job for 12 years. I scratched by on a decent enough income to allow me and my wife to live in a nicer part of town. But I will go into that more in a minute, as for now, I want to finish saying what I was saying about my job.


Somehow, my boss decided that maybe it was time to give me a chance. There was a long standing big account at the firm and they were shopping for a new image. My boss was at his wit’s end trying to help develop this new image, but the company seemed to shoot down every one of his, and the others involved, ideas. On some fluke, he decided to ask me my opinion and for the first time, I had an ingenious idea. When I explained my idea to my boss, he loved it and just like that, I was brought into the team that handled the account. This meant that at the next meeting I was to present my idea to everyone, including the company the account was for.


I was so excited and when I told my wife about it, for the first time in a long time, we were happy. For the next several days, I worked my butt off on my idea so that it would be perfect when I presented it. For the most part, everyone was thrilled with the advertising campaign I came up with and because of this, the company kept their account with us. Now that had been a year ago and even though my ideas since then have been less than stellar, I managed to keep the account. If only I hadn’t made that fatal flaw! Of course it was that flaw that kept me the account.


Somehow, I managed to get sucked in to a secret relationship with another married woman. I don’t know what is wrong with me; I guess it was just pure lust. Julie was her name, and she was the wife of the CEO of Lewiston’s.  Of course this was the company whose account I was working on. It also explained how I managed to keep the account.


Julie and I met at that first meeting and she was a total knockout. I knew that we were both married but I couldn’t help notice how perfect she was. She and her husband were both partners in the company, so were both present.


Now don’t fault me completely, Julie came on to me, not the other way around. Of course when your husband is like 70 years old and your still in your prime, you might be looking for something on the side as well. So I understood why she did what she did.


At first, we tried our best to keep it professional, but soon we found ourselves engaged in a secret affair. Somehow, we managed to keep it hidden until about a week ago. Then the shit hit the fan, her husband found out! I don’t have to tell you how outraged he was, to make this worse, Julie ended it in hopes of reconciling with him. Anyway, this led to Mr. Lewiston ending his account and business with our firm, which now explains why I was fired today!


As I was saying, things just got worse! When I came home early from work I found myself locked out of the house. Somehow my wife Sarah, whom I have been married to just before I finished college, heard about me being fired and the scandal I was involved in. I don’t know how she found out about it or the affair as I had thought I had done a good job of hiding it from her. But she had and she was pissed. Things hadn’t been very good for us for a while. I guess one of our biggest issues is that we had been married now for over 12 years and I had yet to give her a child. The thing is, I don’t know why she blamed me as we have both been checked medically and so far they have found no reason for us not to be able conceive. Still, she blamed me for it.


As I was saying, things in our home had not been very pleasant lately. There were other things that we fought over but I won’t bore you to death with them. Let’s just say that when she found out about the affair, she was not happy one bit. I had come home to find that my suitcases had been packed and were sitting outside the front door of what had been our home.


I tried my best to talk to Sarah about it, but found it hard to do through the front door. She informed me that she had the locks changed and that I would be hearing from her attorney soon! I tried pleading with her but that got me nowhere. She yelled through the door that we were through and I should have thought about the outcome before I had the affair. With all the yelling, I am sure the rest of the neighborhood knew what was happening.


With nothing else to do, I angrily grabbed my suitcases off the front porch and threw them into the backseat of my 1998 Saturn. It is an older car which I had been thinking of replacing later this year. Like I said, I had a very bad day and so when the car suddenly broke down in an older part of town, I was pissed!


So that brings me to where I am now.


I noticed an empty parking lot up ahead and somehow coaxed the car into it before it died completely. Since my cell phone was given to me by my company I worked for, I had to return it before I left that day. This meant I currently had no phone in order to call a tow truck. With no cell phone, I needed to find a phone so I could call Triple AAA.


Like I had said, I was in an old part of town where most of the buildings were abandoned and long forgotten, but luck would have it, the parking lot I pulled into was for a small local bar. I got out of the car and headed for the entrance, hoping to find a phone I could use inside.


When I entered the bar, it seemed as if I was transferred to a Steven King novel. The minute I walked inside, the hair on the back of my neck stood up. It was dark and smoky inside, even though no one was smoking. In fact, other than the bartender who was cleaning a glass with a towel, there was no one else inside. There was just enough light in the place to make most of it out but it had this spooky sort of glow to it. The bartender himself was kinda scary looking. I was about to back out of the place when the bartender noticed me.


“Why, hello there!” He said cheerily. “Do you fancy yourself a drink?”


Now the place still creeped me out a bit but the bartender seemed to be a friendly person and it helped calm my nerves a little. I looked at him and cleared my throat a little as I didn’t want to show any of the fear I had been experiencing to the bartender.


“Um… A… Sir… I was wondering… I mean, could I use your phone?” I stuttered a little.


The bartender smiled at me. “The name is Mike and you are more than welcome to use my phone.” Mike then grabbed something from under the bar and when he sat it on the bar closest to me; I saw that it was a fancy old fashioned dial phone.


Feeling better to see a phone instead of a shotgun or cleaver, I withdrew my Triple A card from my wallet to get the number.


“Trouble with your car?” Mike asked as he went back to cleaning his glass.


Not knowing for sure how he figured out that I was having car trouble, I looked at him in surprise. He just chuckled a little at my expression.


“No it’s not magic. I just noticed that the card in your hand is for Triple A.” He explained to me.


“Oh” was all I said before dialing the number for Triple A.


As soon as I was done with my call Mike put the phone back under the counter. He then turned his attention back at me.


“You look like you had a rough day.” He intuited.


“You don’t know the half of it si…”


“Mike” The bartender corrected me.


“Sorry, Mike. You just don’t know how bad this day has been!”


“Well, how about a drink while you are waiting for your tow truck to come. It just might help you feel a little better.” Mike suggested.


 You know, a drink didn’t sound so bad about then. Drinking was something my wife bitched about when I did, so I drank very rarely.


“A beer would be nice right now.” I told Mike.


“Anything special?”


“Naw, anything cold from the tap will do.” I said as I sat on the bar stool nearest the door.


Mike got me the beer and set it in front of me. “So you had a bad day, maybe you would like to talk about it? They always say bartenders are the best listeners.” Mike grinned as he said this.


I actually found myself more than willing to pour out my feeling to Mike. So I told him about my day and what led up to it. At first I thought he might try and tell me I got what I deserved but he never did.


As I finished my beer, I found myself thinking about something that I have found myself thinking about a lot lately. And in the mood of the moment, I told Mike what I was thinking.


“You know, sometimes I really hate being an adult! All the responsibility and work that goes with being an adult is just plain awful. I just wish that I could once again be a kid with no responsibilities or worries!”  I blurted out.


“I know what you are feeling there.” Mike said thoughtfully. “May I make a special drink for you? You could say that it is the house specialty. I promise that it will make your wishes come true.” At this Mike chuckled a little.


I thought about his offer for no more than a second. Of course I didn’t believe that the drink would actually make my wishes come true, but I found the offer of it weirdly tantalizing.


“Sure, I’ll try it.” I smiled


I watched as Mike started to mix several types of what I guess were liquors together. When he was done he set the drink in front of me, I smelled the light fragrance of a summer breeze off of a lake or body of water, come from the drink.


Mike then looked at me seriously. “As I said, this is the house specialty and I call it the ‘Wishing Well’.”


I then lifted the glass and once again smelled the rich fragrance emanating from the glass. “Bottoms up!” I said before taking a large gulp of the drink. “Wow, not bad!” I said, shocked at the sweet taste of the booze. This of course led me to take an even bigger drink.


With more than half of the concoction drank, Mike again looked at me seriously. “So what is that wish again?” He asked me.


I smiled a little goofy like as the booze was starting to make me feel a little light headed, which I was finding a little strange. Still I was feeling better than I had all day.


“To be a kid again.” I said happily and took another drink and finishing the Wishing Well.


“Benji, your wish has been granted.” Mike said through a smile.


I was about to scoff at Mike about the idea of my wish coming true when I realized that he just called me by my kid nickname. I hadn’t been called Benji since I was around 13 or 14.


“How did you know my name?” I asked as I started to get up from the stool. This turned out to be a mistake though as my head started spinning faster than it ever had in the past. “What did you do to me?” I asked as I was starting to realize that there was more than booze in that drink Mike gave me.


Mike just stood there and continued smiling at me as if all was well. Realizing that I needed to get out of there, I tried to walk towards the entrance and before I took a second step, I collapsed to the floor and passed out!



Chapter 2


I awoke groaning loudly, not quite sure what had happened or where I was. All I knew at that moment was the dull throbbing coming from my head. I started to get up, but the aching pressure inside my skull increased tremendously and stopped me! So instead, I tried to get my bearings by looking around me. This of course turned out to be harder than I thought it would as it was pretty dark and I couldn’t make out much… well… other than the floor around me that is.


Not able to move or see, I just laid there and tried to remember what the world had happened to me! As the seconds then minutes ticked by, the fog in my brain started to dissipate. I found that I now was starting to remember what led me to this point. It was coming back to me slowly and in small pieces, some of it was even out of order. Eventually though, I remembered everything. And I mean everything!


“How did I black out on 2 drinks?” I asked myself.


I was positive that I only had the one beer and whatever that drink was that Mike had made me. Now, I am not what you call a drinker, but I knew that it normally took 3 drinks before I even feel light headed. So the question is, why was I so affected by just the two drinks?


“Wait a minute…” I said out loud to no one in particular. “He put something in that drink he made me!” This had to be the only explanation. Mike must have roofied me! Now the question was… Why?


“Maybe he did it to rob me.” I thought to myself. This seemed like the most likely reason for drugging me.


I started to reach for my wallet but I found this much harder than it should be. It felt as if someone had wrapped me in large heavy blankets! I was able to see just enough to make out that it wasn’t blankets, but clothing. It was as if while I was out, Mike had dressed me in a fat man’s clothing. This was what made it difficult to find my wallet as my hands were covered by my shirt sleeves and I couldn’t find my back pants pocket through all that clothing.


This new discovery made me temporarily forget about my wallet.


Again I tried to get up but instead of trying to stand, I just tried to sit up. I did this very slowly though, to minimize the pain in my head. As I sat up, I tried to move the clothing a little so that it wouldn’t hinder me.


I don’t know why I didn’t notice it sooner, but it suddenly came to my attention that as I sat up that the swaddle of clothing I was in was soaked! Now believe me or not, this really didn’t surprise me. Wetting my bed after a night out drinking wasn’t new for me. In fact, this was one of those things my wife despised about me. 


Because I had wet myself, all the clothing I was dressed in became heavy and harder to move. I swear that all this clothing soaked up enough of my pee that it could have been enough to fill Lake Michigan! Eventually though, I was able to sit up. I also found that my eyes were starting to adjust to the darkness.


I could just make out where the bar stool I had been sitting on had been, but was now missing. In fact, all the stools were missing. It was as if Mike had put them all in the backroom before turning off the lights and leaving me where I collapsed. The place was void of windows so the sunlight didn’t make it into the old bar. Still, there seemed to be some light that was finding its way into the old bar. Don’t ask me where it was coming from because I don’t know. It was just enough light to barely make out the area around me.


I suddenly found myself curious about the time. Hoping that I still had my watch, as it was only a cheap one, I tried to pull the left sleeve of the large shirt up enough to see my watch. Amazingly, as soon as my arm was untangled from the shirt, my watch slipped off my wrist and fell into the pile of clothing that surrounded me. Luckily it fell on top of the clothing and my eyes were adjusted enough to the darkness that I was able to see where it fell.


As I picked up my watch, I was shocked to find that it was larger than it should be! I was starting to feel like I was living in a ‘Twilight Zone’ episode! Trying to shake it off, I found the button that made the watch light up. I was flabbergasted to see that it was now past 3am in the morning.


“Damn! I have been lying on this hard floor for over 8 hours!” I shouted out. I was starting to get very angry. “How could that guy just leave me on the floor like this?!”


Wanting to get off that floor more than ever, I tried to once again stand up. Like I had just moments before when I was sitting up, I arranged the clothing so that it didn’t hinder me as I stood.


Now standing, the wet pants and underwear that I had been dressed in, dropped straight to the floor. I now found myself in only a very large dress shirt! The one nice thing about it being so large, it covered my nudity. In fact, it came down to my ankles as if it were a dress.


As I stepped out of my pants and underwear that was still at my feet, I also stepped out of my shoes socks. This boggled my mind as a question formed in my mind.


“Why would Mike put me in these ridiculous clothes and socks and shoes?” I thought to myself. I mean there was no explanation, unless the guy got off on freaking out his customers.


Something was starting to come forward in my mind that would explain everything, but I found it completely improbable. As I thought this though, something that Sherlock Holmes said, came to me. "When you have eliminated everything else, the impossible, however improbable, must be the truth.”


Still, I wasn’t yet ready to face the facts. Instead, I decided that I needed to get out of this place pronto! I guess you could say that I was starting to feel like I had been heebe jeebed. I knew that my clothes were in my car so I decided to go get a fresh change of clothing. Since my watch would no longer fit my wrist, I tightened it my upper arm. I then searched the pants and eventually located my car keys and my wallet. And after checking the latter, I found that everything was still in it. As for everything else, I decided to just leave it where I was.


I rolled up my shirt sleeves and then made my way to the exit. I expected that it would most likely be locked but I had to try!


Like everything else, the door seemed larger than before! At least the lock on it was just a thumb bolt and soon I found myself outside in the moonlight. Now able to see because of the light coming from the moon, I checked out everything around me. Again I got this weird sensation that something was completely wrong! Everything outside though looked the same as it had before I went into the bar, but still, there was something terribly wrong! When I turned back towards the bar, a shiver ran down my spine! The bar that I had entered several hours ago, now appeared to be another abandoned building like the others that surrounded it.


“What the fuck?” This night was getting weirder and weirder.


Again I decided I needed to get the hell out of here and headed around the side of the building where I parked my car earlier. As I turned the corner, I crossed my fingers and hoped that whatever trouble it was having earlier might have somehow righted itself. As soon as I completely turned the corner though, I found how much worse this day could get!


My car was still where I left it, but it had been completely stripped! It was now nothing more but an empty shell. I could also see that the thieves had even made off with my suitcases which contained my stuff!


“Damn! Damn! Damn!” I shouted in frustration. “Why does all this shit have to happen to me?!”


My shouting woke up some Bum that had been sleeping next to the side of the building.


“What’s your problem kid?” He groaned as he got up and looked at me.


I glared at the Bum, my eyes trying burn holes through his skull. “My problem is that some motherfucker stripped my car!”


The Bum just looked at me quizzically. “Boy, aren’t you a little young to be driving?” He asked me seriously.


I chose to ignore his ridiculous comment and find out if he might have seen the person or persons that stripped my car.


“You didn’t by any chance see who stripped this car?” I asked the Bum while pointing to my Saturn’s empty shell.


The Bum scratched his head and looked at me in confusion before answering my question. “I’m sorry kid, but I think it was like that when I got here.”


“I am not a kid! Are you so drunk that you can’t tell that I am a 39 year old male?!” I asked feeling a little insulted.


The guy just stared at me as if I had 2 heads! “Boy! I am too tired for all these games!” He then once again laid back down on the ground and appeared to immediately fall back to sleep.


I stood there and stewed in my anger over all my bad luck. It didn’t help that the Bum kept referring to me like some little kid! It was at this moment when the lights finally came on inside my head and I was able to finally connect all the dots! I am not sure how in the world it happened, but somehow it had! All the pieces like a puzzle came together perfectly. The clothes, my watch, my socks and shoes, even the door. Everything was starting to make sense, even if it was completely crazy. Then, I remembered what Mike had said to me as I was drinking that mixed drink he made for me.


He called the drink the ‘Wishing Well’ and he said that it would grant me my wish.


 “It can’t be possible?” I found myself disbelieving. “It has to be a bad dream!” I tried to tell myself, but I couldn’t make myself believe it. For the first time since I awoke on that hard floor, I took a good look at myself.


Somehow, the impossible had happened. At the moment I wasn’t sure how young I actually was without being able to see my face. All I knew was, that somehow, I received the wish I had asked for. And as I fell into a trance, I realized that through some weird sort of magic that I couldn’t even begin to comprehend; I was no longer an adult but was in fact… a kid again!



Chapter 3


Suddenly the quiet stillness of the night was broken by the sound of rapid fire! “Gun shots!” I thought to myself as the loud sound brought me out of my stupor. From the sounds of the shots, I figured that they must have come from something like an Uzi.


The loud shots woke up the Bum again and he looked at me as if I was the one who awoke him. He didn’t get a chance to voice his anger at being re-awoken because suddenly more gunfire went off! This time it seemed even closer than the first.


I watched as the Bum jumped to his feet and started to flee. It wasn’t until more gun shots rang through the night that I decided maybe he had the right idea. Not even caring that I was barefoot, I too fled the area. With nowhere else to go, I chased after the Bum. As I was running, I felt my stupid watch slip from my upper arm, where I tightened it, and down my wrist, where it then fell to the ground. I was so scared of being shot though, I didn’t think twice of stopping for it or going back and getting it. Besides, it was only a cheap $20 watch anyway. We were several blocks away from the old bar before we finally stopped running!


“That was a close call boy!” The Bum panted loudly. Even though he was out of breath, I found myself barely panting. I guess that is one good thing about being young!


Even though I did not like being referred to as a kid, I decided that at the moment, it was better to just drop it. Instead, I decided to ask him what all the gunshots were about back there.


“Uh sir…” I started to say but the Bum interrupted me.


“That’s Barney.” He introduced himself.


“Okay, Barney then.” I then offered my hand in friendship, which he then shook. “So Barney, what were all those gunshots back there about?”


“Gangs!” He simply answered.


I knew that gangs existed but other than on T.V., I never had been this close to any. A shiver ran up my spine as I thought how close I came to being in the middle of some gang war! I knew right then and there, that the best and safest thing to do, was to get off the street.


“Maybe I could hail a cab and have it take me to a nice hotel.” I thought to myself. Once there, I could crawl into bed and hope that by the time the sun rises, I would find that this all was some sort of weird dream. There was one problem though! While running in my fear of being shot, I had not only dropped my keys, but also my wallet. I was now on the streets penniless!


“What am I going to do now?” It wasn’t until Barney responded that I even knew I had said this out loud.


“Well, I guess I could put you up in my place for one night.” He offered.


“Your place?” I asked confused. “If you have a place, why were you sleeping back there?”


“Oh that… I just got tired is all.” And the way Barney said this; you would think it was normal to sleep on the ground on the side of a building. “I have a place a couple blocks from here.” Barney added. He then started off, waving me to follow him.


I wasn’t really sure I wanted to go to Barney’s place, for all I knew it was another side of a building. What I really wanted was to go back and try to find my wallet. I had over a hundred dollars and my credit cards inside of it. The problem was, even if I wasn’t scared of being shot, I would still have trouble backtracking to the bar. You see… I was completely lost and had no idea where I was or the way back to the bar. So I did the only thing I could, I followed Barney to his place.


As we walked, Barney told me how nice his place was and how lucky he was able to get it. A part of me wondered if Barney was one of those weird eccentrics and maybe he really did have a nice place. So, I allowed my hopes to get up. Surprise! Surprise! When we finally get to Barney’s place, I was disappointed to find out that it was nothing more than a large wooden crate box.


I watched as Barney slunk down and disappeared behind what looked like an old army blanket. Sighing, I followed him. It turned out that the blanket was covering the doorway inside the crate.


As I entered Barney’s humble home, I was shocked to see how cozy it was inside! The floor was actual carpet. There was a beanbag chair in one corner and an old small mattress that took up most of the box. And the thing that made it possible to see everything… a taplight.


If I really were a kid, this place would have been a cool fort! It smelled a little musty and of bad BO. Then again, I probably didn’t smell like a rose either!


Seeing the mattress, I suddenly realized how tired I was. Everything that led up to this point had completely exhausted me. I know I had slept several hours earlier, but for some reason, I didn’t feel rested one bit from it. Anyway, I was sure the mattress was not clean, even so, it suddenly looked very inviting.


Barney somehow figured out what I was thinking. “Sorry boy! The bed is mine!” He said possessively. He then sniffed me. “Besides, from the smell of you, I wouldn’t trust you sleeping in it.” He stated very seriously.


I was about to say something snotty to Barney but I decided it was better to just drop it. “Where can I sleep then?” I asked him.


Barney looked around his place and seemed to be considering all his options. “You can sleep on the beanbag.” He finally stated. He then eyed me before adding, “And if you have to pee, do it outside!” Barney then stretched out on his mattress and quickly fell asleep.


With no other choice, I tried to get as comfortable as I could on the beanbag chair before sending a quick prayer to GOD. I prayed that when I awoke that all of this would turn out to be a bad nightmare and that I would find myself in my own bed next to my wife. Then, I closed my eyes and I too, fell asleep!



Chapter 4


I awoke stiff and cold, early the next morning and boy was it COLD! Somehow we went from around 60 degrees last night to about 30 degrees that morning. Enough of the early morning light made it inside the crate that I was able to see Barney; who was still snoring logs in his bed. At first, I thought it was that what woke me. That turned out to be wishful thinking as it turned out that it was the cold wetness I felt all over my lower region, which woke me. This wetness in the cold temperatures was freezing me to the bone.


“Damn it! I wet myself again!” I grumbled loudly.


At first I thought I had awoke Barney as he moved a little and mumbled something. I was relieved when a few seconds later he started snoring again. I really didn’t want to have to explain to some bum that I peed all over his beanbag chair.


I decided that it was time to leave. Silently, I slipped past Barney and out into the cool morning air. If I had thought I was cold before inside the crate, I soon found it was warm compared to outside. I was much colder now. It didn’t help that it was a windy chilly morning and that I was not wearing any pants and I was wet. If I thought not having pants was bad, I found that not having shoes was unbearable. I knew that if I didn’t find some dry clothes and shoes quick, I was going to freeze.


“Too bad I lost my wallet last night!” I thought to myself.


As I looked around me, I had no clue where I was. I considered for a moment of trying to backtrack to my car (What was left of it.) and see if I could find my wallet, but truthfully, I wasn’t too sure I could. Besides, what was the chance of my wallet still being where I dropped it? Most likely it was slim to none. In the end, I decided to get out of the alley. I figured that once I got to the street, I might be able to figure out where I was.


So, I wrapped my arms around myself trying to stay warm. After a moments decision, I chose a direction and set out. As I got closer to the street ahead of me, I noticed an occasional car pass by the alley. Seeing the cars, I picked up the pace. Now with the street a few feet from me, I started to worry about being seen. I wasn’t sure what people would do when they saw me. I wasn’t very presentable. In fact, the way I looked, I was going to get people’s attention and it wasn’t going to be good! Then add the fact that I looked like a little kid.


“Damn! What am I going to do?” I worried silently to myself. “I can’t just go out there like this! But I can’t stay like this either; otherwise I am going to freeze!” I muttered to myself.


I really didn’t know what to do. Why can’t real life be like TV, where everything always seems to work out for the main character? For instance on TV, if somebody needed a change of clothing, they would just snatch them from the nearest clothesline. Unfortunately, there was not a clothesline in sight. There was one good thing… well maybe it was a bad thing. Anyway, at least my feet were now so numb from the cold, that I barely noticed the discomfort from them.


The only thing in the alley was junk and some dumpsters. I wasn’t about to go dumpster diving. Besides I doubted that I would find any clothes my size in them. This meant I would either have to hide out until it got dark again, which I could then try to find some clothes. Or, I would have to go and try to finds some now and hope no one would call the police on me. One way or another, I would most likely have to steal them and I wasn’t too thrilled about this.


The coldness that was chilling me to the bone made the decision for me. I knew that I couldn’t wait that long. So chancing it, I left the relative safety of the alleyway. Looking up and down the almost deserted street, I tried to decide which way to go. To the right of me, it looked dead but to the left of me, I could see a busier street ahead. I figured I should be able to find something up that way.


Again, hugging myself to stay warm, I made my way towards the busy intersection ahead. A few cars passed me but no one stopped or seemed to notice me. Feeling a little braver, I found myself feeling less conscious about the way I looked. When I finally made it to the corner I checked the street sign. I found out that the street I was currently on was called N. Elizabeth and the crossroad was W. Fulton. I never heard of N. Elizabeth but I had heard of W. Fulton. I knew that it was a major street and it went almost all the way downtown. I also noticed for the first time that I could see some of the Skyscrapers.


Not knowing what else to do, I turned onto Fulton and headed towards downtown. I kept my eye out for anyplace that might have a change of clothing. For the most part though, the only open businesses on the street were bars, liquor stores, and cheap motels. None of which could help me out in the clothing department. Then I saw it…


A few blocks ahead stood an old church. I knew that churches usually received clothing donations and I might be lucky and find something at the one ahead of me. Already feeling better at possibility of clean fitting clothes, I refused to allow myself to think it might be locked. Besides, weren’t churches supposed to be open all the time for the wandering soul that needs to be saved?


As I reached the front door, I sent a quick prayer to God. I guess he wasn’t listening as the door didn’t budge.


“Damn it! Now what?” I swore out loud.


I decided to take a closer look at the building to see if I could find a way inside the church. Unfortunately, the other 2 doors that led into it were locked as well. Desperate and no other way, I decided to break a small basement window in the back of the church. I figured here no one could see me and what I was doing. Not wanting to be cut by the glass, I checked the dumpster for anything I could use to knock the window pane out. When I saw the old choir robe inside the dumpster, I felt like things may be looking up finally. The robe had been torn which was probably why they threw it out. It didn’t matter as it would still work for me.


I tore off a section of the robe and wrapped it around my small fist. I made sure my fist was protected by the cloth. I then hit the window pane with my covered fist and was relieved to hear the tinkling sound of broken glass. I even made sure to remove all the shards of glass that hadn’t fallen to the basement floor. I was about to enter through the window but when I saw the broken glass below, I changed my mind.


I un-wrapped the cloth from my fist and proceeded to wrap my foot in it. I then tore off another section of the robe and wrapped my other foot in it. Now with my feet protected and warming up, I laid the rest of the torn robe over the window sill. This was so that I could squeeze through without cutting myself on any possible remaining glass.


As I slipped inside, I dropped to the floor below. Somehow, by the grace of God, I didn’t injure myself. Now inside, I wasn’t sure where to maybe find any clothes they might have. Not knowing what else to do, I started searching the church. I of course began in the basement. I ended up finding mostly old junk, but no clothes. I headed up the stairs and ended up in the Fellowship Hall. It was a large room with several doors that led off of it. The larger doors I was sure led to the Sanctuary. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t find what I wanted in there. So I started to check the other doors. The first door led into a large coat closet. Other than a few old coats and large pair of scuffed brown good shoes, there was nothing in it. The next door turned out to be locked, so I went on to the next door.


As I checked each of the doors, I came across some smaller rooms which looked like bible study rooms. I found the church kitchen. I came across what obviously was the nursery. When I found the bathrooms, I decided that I could at least clean myself up. I also realized that I suddenly needed to desperately pee. I don’t know why I didn’t notice it before. I guess it must have been the suggestion the bathroom gave, when I saw it?


I emptied my bladder and flushed the toilet once I was done. Checking around the bathroom, I found a hand towel and using the sink, I began to try and clean myself up a little. After I was finished, I dried myself off the best I could with that hand towel. I just wished I didn’t have to put that dirty shirt back on, but I had nothing else to wear yet.


As I came out of the bathroom, I was given the scare of my life when someone cleared their throat. I guess the person thought it was pretty funny how bad they scared me. He was laughing quite animatedly. I am just glad I had just emptied my bladder as I would have definitely peed all over myself if I hadn’t.


As my heart returned to its normal place in my chest, I glared at the guy who scared me. It was now that I recognized who the guy was. He was dressed in minister/priest robes, but there was no doubting that it was the bartender from last night. Other than chuckling lightly to himself, he didn’t say anything as he stood before me.


As I realized that it was truly him, I found myself getting angrier by the second.


“It’s Mike, right?” I snapped.


“Right you are Benji.” He smiled as he said this.


“How do you know my name?!” I shouted at him. I didn’t wait for him to answer though and fired my next question at him. “What the world did you do to me? I demand you turn me back into my adult self!”


“I am sorry Benji, I can’t do that. You made a wish and we have to let the wish be carried out to its conclusion.” Mike said in a mysterious way that led me to believe he wasn’t telling me something.


“What if I don’t want it anymore?” I was almost pleading at this point. “Besides, this wasn’t what I actually pictured. I was thinking it would be more like going back into the past to when I was originally a kid. Instead, you made me a kid in the present! Shoot, where am I supposed to go. My parents aren’t even alive anymore! I don’t have anyone!” At this point I broke down and started to cry.


“I am sorry Benji that it wasn’t what you exactly expected. What it is though, is what you needed!” Mike was no longer laughing but seemed to be serene. “You wanted no responsibility and a chance at a 2nd childhood. It is now up to destiny where this might lead.”


“But, I don’t know what to do.” I begged.


Mike then smiled and pointed towards a door I had yet to look in. “How about some clean clothes.”


I went and checked the door and found it unlocked. As the door opened, I was happy to discover boxes and boxes of clothing. Before I entered the room though, Mike stopped me.


“Benji, you better move quickly. You tripped a burglar alarm and the police are on their way.”


“How much time do I have?” I asked worried.


“Not enough!” And as Mike said this, he vanished from sight.


At this, I rushed to find me something to wear! I just hoped that I could get something and get out of there before the police arrived!



Chapter 5


Wanting to not waste any time, I decided not to be too picky. When I found a pair of brown corduroy pants, a belt, and a warm pull over shirt that looked to be about my size, I quickly got dressed. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any shoes that would fit me. They were either way too big for my feet or they were too small.


Not knowing what else to do, I decided I would just have to make do with the bound cloth I had wrapped my feet in earlier. I just hoped that I could find some proper shoes at some point. Anyway, I was just buckling the belt when I heard police sirens. From the sound of it, they were quickly approaching.


“Damn! They are here already!” I freaked out.


Not knowing what else to do, I ran to the back of the church and exited out the back door. Without thinking about it, I took off down the alley. I had hoped to get far enough away before the police made it there. The problem was, that I in my attempt to escape, ran right into an officer who had been coming around to the back of the church.


I tried my best to escape but he grabbed me and wasn’t about to let go. The officer, who looked to be about 20 years old and fresh out of the academy, held me firmly in his grasp.


“Son, calm down!” The young officer instructed me.


“I am not your son!” I spat. “I am old enough to be your father!”


“Well Dad, how about you tell me what you are doing back here!” The officer stated dryly.


I didn’t find the officer’s remark very funny. I knew I looked like a kid to this cop, but that didn’t stop me from wanting the respect that I normally had as an adult.


“If I let you go, will you calm down and tell me what you were doing back here?”


I wanted to yell at him and tell the officer that he did not have a deal, but I knew that would not help my situation. So, with a look of disgust, I succumb to the officer’s wishes. I stopped trying to fight him and relaxed in his arms.


For his part, the officer kept his word and let go of me. He still made sure I was in arm’s length in case I decided to try and flee. He looked me up and down; I guess that was when he saw my cloth-bound feet.


“What happened to your shoes son?” He asked eyeing my feet curiously.


Again I chose not to answer him. He scowled then his eye seemed to catch something. It turned out that what he saw was the broken basement window.


“Did you do that son?” He asked me sharply and nodded towards the broken window.


I bit my tongue this time at his use of ‘Son’. Instead of looking over at the window, I just stared silently at the cop. I knew what my rights were and one of them was my right to remain silent. I wasn’t about to say anything that would incriminate myself.


The officer took my bout of silence as a confession. He reached out and grabbed my shoulder with a large hand. With his other hand, he grabbed his radio.


“Hey Jim, I think I found our perp out back. It appears he broke a basement window.”


“Okay Tom, everything out front looks good.” A voice came over the radio. “Do you need any assistance?”


“No, it is just a kid. Looks like he broke a window.” Tom reported.


“Are you sure he is alone?” Jim voice came back over the radio.


Tom was about to respond when he noticed that the back door I had exited through was ajar. “I am not sure but I think so. The back door is ajar so he or someone had been inside. The kid ain’t talking though. I guess I am going to need you after all.”


A second later a police car pulled into the Alley. Tom led me to the back door of the police car. He kept one hand holding my shoulder with a firm grip and used the other to open the door.


“Alright, in you go.” And he half pushed me inside the backseat.


Jim, who had driven the car around to the alley, got out and joined Tom as they entered through the open back door. They were gone inside the church for several minutes before returning to the police car. Jim got behind the wheel of the police car and Tom got in on the passenger side. It was obvious that Jim was the senior partner. He looked like he was in his mid-fifties.


Before he started the police car up, Jim got on the radio and let dispatch know that they found just me, a kid at the scene. That it appeared that I had broken into the church through a basement window in back and that I exited through the rear door. He reported that they didn’t find any signs of other intruders.


“10 four.” Dispatch responded.


“Dispatch do you wish us to stay here until someone comes and secures the church?” Jim asked.


“No, that will not be necessary. Please bring the kid in.”


“Alright, will do.” Jim replied and then started the car.

“Boy, they keep getting younger and younger!” Tom sighed as his partner pulled the police car out of the Alley and onto the street.


“I know what you mean partner.” Jim nodded.


After that, neither partner spoke again until we pulled into the parking lot of the police precinct.


“If you want, I will take him in.” Tom offered as soon as they parked.


“Okay, I guess I will just wait out here for you.” Jim happily accepted as he fished a book out of the glove compartment.


And as Jim began to read, Tom let me out. For a brief second, I considered fleeing but I wasn’t too sure I would get too far before I was captured again. Even if I did get away, where would I go? I was in a real mess! Besides, Tom wasn’t going to let me get away.


Just like he did when he directed me into the police car, Tom firmly grabbed hold of my shoulder as I got out of the car. He then led me inside the police station.


As we walked inside the station, I saw a bench with a couple young guys and an older woman sitting on it. It wasn’t until we passed them that I noticed that all three of them were handcuffed to the bench. I found myself wondering what they were here for. Seeing those handcuffed prisoners made me really start to think.  And as Tom led me towards the desk Sergeant I began to really worry.


“For the first time in my life, I am going to have a record!” I thought to myself.


You know, that was one thing that I could be proud of. Up until now, I was never in trouble with the law. Of course this doesn’t mean I never did things that could get me in trouble with the law. As a child I shoplifted a few times, that is until I got caught. The store security guard scared me so bad that it left a lasting impression on me and I never stole again. I did some other things as a kid that I wasn’t too proud of but for the most part I was a good kid and I became a law abiding adult.


“…so where do you want to put him?” Tom asked. I caught the tail end of the discussion between Tom and the desk Sergeant.  I had been so caught up in my thoughts I hadn’t even realized that the two had been talking until now.


“The drunk tank isn’t empty, so we can’t put him there.” The desk Sergeant informed Tom. “I tell you what, put him into interrogation room 3 and I will let the Lieutenant know he is in there.” He suggested.


Tom found this acceptable and after thanking the Sergeant, he directed me further into the police station. When we stopped at a door that I figured was interrogation room 3, he opened it and led me inside. The room was empty except for a table with a chair at each end.


Now I had thought he was just going to lock me inside but when he led me over to one of the chairs, I found out different. Tom instructed me to sit in the chair and when I did, he grabbed a cuff that was lying on the floor and attached it to my leg. The other end of the cuff was attached to a ring anchored into the floor.


“Stay there!” Tom instructed me and his tone said very clearly, don’t mess with me.


I found this ridiculous, I mean where in the world was I going to be able to go with my leg cuffed to the floor like it was? Maybe the cop thought I was some great escape artist!


“The Lieutenant should be in here shortly.” Tom said, interrupting my thoughts. He then walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him.


It wasn’t until I heard the door lock that I realized how badly I needed to Pee!



Chapter 6


“What is it about not noticing you have to pee until you are locked into a room by yourself?” I said out loud to the empty room.


Thinking about this reminded me of something from when I was a kid. I remembered many times being sent down to our basement to get something and no sooner then I got down there, I would suddenly need to pee. This made it difficult to keep my mind on what I was down there for. A few times I even ended up peeing my pants before locating what I was sent down there to find. This of course aggravated my mother! She would yell at me and demand to know why I just didn’t come back up and pee in the toilet. For some reason I never knew the answer to this question. But because of this, my mom started to remind me to pee, before sending me downstairs to the basement.


If you hadn’t figured it out by now, as a kid, I had a very small bladder. This was the reason why I wet the bed every night according to my Pediatrician back then. He told me that I needed to stretch my bladder and make it stronger. In order to accomplish this, I was told to hold my bladder for a period of time anytime I felt the need to go. This was of course supposed to stretch my bladder out. Instead, for me it just led to more pants wetting accidents. By the time I was 10 years old, Mom gave up on the bladder stretching exercises and just had me go pee right away. She figured it was better than me constantly wetting my pants. This of course kept my bladder small for several more years and even though my pants wetting accidents dwindled, I still occasionally wasn’t able to hold it long enough at times to make it to the toilet.


“Boy! All this thought on my bladder problems as a kid isn’t helping with my need to pee!” I said through pursed lips as I tried to mentally close shut my bladder. Unfortunately, I don’t think it was really working all that well. “Why did he have to give me my old bladder problem as well as make me a kid again?!” I grumbled loudly as I felt my bladder muscles strain at the building pressure.


I was told that the Lieutenant would be in shortly, so I was doing my best to hold it. But as the pressure and need to release increased, I found it harder and harder to do so. After about 10 minutes of sitting in that room, I started to worry that the Lieutenant would not be in right away like I was told.


Feeling my bladder muscles weakening, I reached down and grabbed ahold of myself in hopes of clamping off the impending flow! I knew from past experience that it was only a matter of time before I wet myself.


Since I was not able to go over and pound on the door due to the ankle cuff, I tired yelling as loud as I could. “PLEASE SOMEONE! I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM!” I then listened to see if anyone was coming to let me out but after several seconds went by and no one came, I decided they must have not heard me. So I tried yelling again, this time louder. “PLEASE! I REALLY REALLY NEED TO PEE!” I cried again to no avail.


At this, I realized that either no one could hear me outside this room or they just didn’t care. It was bad enough that I still occasionally wet the bed but I was about to embarrass myself even more! I hadn’t wet my pants since I was 15 and that last time had been the most embarrassing accident yet! I had been in math class and no matter how many times I begged to be allowed to use the bathroom; Mrs. Stacey refused to let me go. She informed me that was what the breaks between classes were meant for. Now if it hadn’t been for the fact that my need came only 15 minutes into class, she may have let me go but this was not the case.


Due to the fact that I occasionally found myself in this boat many times ever since I had started Junior High, most of the kids in the classroom knew what I was about to do. I could hear the giggling and snickering as I began to squirm in my seat more and more. Finally after almost 6 minutes of trying my best to hold back the floodgates, I finally lost the battle and I quickly soaked my pants. Because my seat had been one of those with the open slots in the bottom of it, it didn’t take long for the pee to make it to them and start to drip steadily to the floor. As the puddle grew under my desk, kids who were close by me jumped from their desk so that they wouldn’t end up getting caught in my pee puddle. The rest of the class broke out in complete laughter.


I was so humiliated that day, that I refused to go back school for the next couple days. It wasn’t until after sitting down with my mother, the school counselor, and the vice principal; that I agreed to come back to school. It was agreed that I would be allowed to use the bathroom anytime I needed; that I just had to ask. The counselor informed my teachers of this decision and after that, life got a lot easier for me. Of course I was made fun of for my accident but this wasn’t new for me.


So here I was locked in this room and cuffed to the floor and I knew that at any moment I was going to wet my pants… Well actually, I wasn’t quite sure whose pants they were.


I squeezed myself even tighter as I felt a small trickle of urine enter my pants. The only thing this action did was cause me some considerable pain.


Finally, after about 20 minutes in the room, I lost complete control of my bladder. As the hot urine gushed into my pants, tears of shame ran down my face. I of course quickly had a puddle of pee form on the floor underneath the seat I had been sitting in. This of course reminded me again of wetting myself during school. Even though the kids were not there to laugh at me, I still found myself picturing their laughing faces in my mind. They were laughing and pointing at me and calling me names. My face just continued to burn in shame!


Not more than 10 minutes later, the Lieutenant walked into the room!



Chapter 7


“My name is Lieutenant Grant.” He stated as soon as he walked into the room without even really looking at me.


He in fact was flipping through a couple pages through a folder. If that folder was all about me, I was wondering how they could have filled a couple pages like that already without knowing who I was or anything about me.


“Can you tell me your name son?” The officer asked and he finally looked up at me.


While waiting for me to answer, he took a seat across from me. At first I didn’t say anything, I just watched as he withdrew a small pad of paper and a pen from his pocket. It wasn’t until the Lieutenant looked back at me in such a way that I can’t even describe, that I felt I had to cooperate or else!


“My name is Benjamin Fuller, but I go by Ben.” I quickly informed the Lieutenant.


I was grateful for one thing; he had yet to notice my very wet condition. Then again, it was mostly hidden by the table. The puddle on the other hand was large and very noticeable under my chair. For the moment though, it still seemed to be unnoticed.


When I gave the Lieutenant my name, he wrote it on that pad of paper of his. He then took a moment to study me (At least that is what it looked like to me.) and I decided to do the same with him. He was roughly the same age as I was… well… That was before I was turned into a twerp by Mike!


The Lieutenant was in plain clothes and wore slacks and a polo shirt. The thing that stuck out the most was that he had a gravelly voice as if he smoked a lot of cigarettes in his life.


“Age?” He asked without looking up from his pad he was writing on.


“39” I said without even thinking about it first.


This of course got the Lieutenants attention and as he looked up from his pad he was writing on and at me, I felt the piercing stare he was giving me. I could tell this was one guy that didn’t like jokes.


He cleared his throat before saying, “Son, I am not playing games here! So stop playing games with me! Now please tell me your correct age.”


As frightening as he was, I wasn’t one to be pushed around either. Especially after one of the worst 24hr periods of my life! So I just returned his look and repeated with all sincerity my real age.


“I said my age was 39, so take it or leave it!”


The Lieutenant did not look happy one bit and just scribbled something into his notebook before continuing with his questioning.


“So, how about telling me why you broke into the church?” He asked and I could hear a little aggravation in his voice.


I was about to deny that I broke into the church, then I realized that my fingerprints must be all over the inside of the church. I thought about this question for a moment or two. I mean it might be better for me to be honest and just tell the truth, that I was there to get some clothes. Then again, if I told him that, I would have to explain why I needed the clothes. This would then lead to the fact that I was wondering the streets without any clothes in the first place and he would be wondering why. I mean, he didn’t believe me when I tried to tell him how old I was, there was no way he was going to believe everything that had happened to me since I met Mike. All I would do was infuriate him more and I was sure that was something that I definitely did not want to do!


So, not knowing what else to say, I just shrugged my shoulders. As I expected, this irritated the Lieutenant very much. I don’t know why, but I remembered when I was a kid the first time around that when I did this with my mother, she would get so upset that she would at times smack me. The look on the Lieutenant’s face looked almost the same as my mother’s before she reached out and struck me!


Before the Lieutenant could say anything or for that matter hit me, he was interrupted by a knock on the door. Still looking very irritated, he got up to answer it. When he opened the door, I saw a uniformed officer standing there and he was accompanied by a Priest. I watched as the officer and the Lieutenant started to speak in whispers. I tried to listen in but was not able to really make out anything. The Lieutenant sighed suddenly and looked a little upset but he waved the Priest into the room. The other officer then left, closing the door behind him. Since there was only one other chair in the room, the Lieutenant offered it to the Priest who graciously took the offered chair.


  “This is Father Caleb.” Lieutenant Grant said as he introduced me to the Priest. He is the Priest of ‘Holy Trinity’, the church you found the need to break into and vandalize and God knows what else!” And the way he said this, it was very obvious that he thought I was the worst of the worst, when it came to criminals.


“Now… Now… Lieutenant. Can’t you see that you are scaring the boy?” Father Caleb said kindly. He then gave me a warm smile. “You look like a good boy.” At this, I frowned. I wasn’t sure what to think of this Priest and if he was playing a game with me. Father Caleb though seemed to be determined to get on my good side. Again he smiled at me. “Don’t worry, I can tell when I see a good boy. You must have really been in dire need if you had to break into the Church.”


I wasn’t sure but I think Father Caleb’s niceness was working on me. “Yes Sir.” I said, finally finding my voice. Then I quickly added, “I will pay for the broken window.” The Priest just nodded his head in agreement.


“What is your name son?” He asked kindly.


“Benjamin Fuller.” I said, giving my full name again without thinking.


“Do you mind if I call you Ben?” He asked and I nodded my head letting him know that I didn’t mind. “So how old are you Ben?”


Being called a liar not more than 10 or 15 minutes ago on the very same question, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to answer it this time truthfully. Up to now, Father Caleb thinks I am a good boy and seems to believe what I am telling him. The last thing I wanted to do was to jeopardize all of that because of the impossible implausibility of me actually being 39 years old.


“Sir, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” I finally said as I really didn’t want to lie or just not say anything.


“How about giving me the chance to believe you or not?”


“Okay, but just know that I warned you and that I am not kidding about this or trying to play a game with you.” I explained before revealing my age to him. “Yesterday I was a 39 year old man and very early this morning I woke up and found myself the young boy you see now before you.”


I was sure that Father Caleb was going to have the same reaction to my response as the Lieutenant had. Instead, I was surprised when he just nodded his head as it was something that happened every day. Even the Lieutenant Grant seemed surprised that the Priest just seemed to accept this. Instead of questioning me anymore about that, Father Caleb went on with his questioning.


“Now as I was saying earlier, I can see that you are a good boy and that you must have been in desperate need if you had to break into the church. Could you tell me what your need was and if we can still help you?” Father Caleb asked with sincerity.


“Well… I… Um…” I tried to explain why I broke in but again, I found it hard to do. This time it was more due to embarrassment then to disbelief.


“Go on Son.”


“Well… I… uh…” I then lowered my voice and in an almost whisper, I finally told him why I broke in. “When I woke up as a kid, my adult clothes no longer fit me and I really needed some clothes that would fit me. I was hopeful that maybe I would find something in the Church that I could wear and I found these clothes.” I then pointed at myself.


This of course made both the Lieutenant and Father Caleb look at me and I worried for a moment that they might have noticed that I peed my pants. Of course I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide that fact forever. Once again thinking about my wet condition reminded me of when I was a kid and wet my pants.


In the beginning my parents were very understanding about my wetting problems. But then as I got older and the problem continued, they started to not be so understanding. It didn’t help when the doctors couldn’t find any real physical reason for causing my problem. Eventually it was believed that I was doing it on purpose for attention or because I was lazy. When I got around 7 years old, my parents, who were tired of my wetting problem, took me to a specialist that a friend recommended. It was this specialist that explained to them that I had an extremely small and weak bladder for a child my age. He felt that this was my biggest obstacle and that began my bladder stretching exercises. He also recommended that I see a Child Psychiatrist and make sure there were no emotional issues that might be causing my wetting problem as well. In the end, this led to a better understanding of my problem and my parents became much more supportive and less punitive when it came to my accidents. They also went to bat for me at school if I had an accident and the school was the cause of the accident, as I already mentioned. They were great parents who at first didn’t understand the problem but once they did, they proved how good they were still. I really missed them now that they were both dead. I was the only child and other than some real distant relatives that I really didn’t know, I had no one other than my wife; who no longer wants to have anything to do with me.


Father Caleb, who seemed to accept my answer to why I broke into the church, interrupted my thoughts with his next question. “Ben, tell me… Do you have any family?” I didn’t know how, but somehow it was as if he was reading my thoughts.


“No, they are both dead.” I confirmed. “I am all alone.”


To be honest, I was playing a little to the Father’s sympathy in order to help me get out of trouble. But I also was finding that I really liked this Man of God.


“I see.” He then stood up and looked at the Lieutenant who had been scowling all through the conversation that the Priest and I were having. “Lieutenant Grant, the church will not be pressing charges against this boy.” And as he stated this, the scowl on the Lieutenant’s face became even angrier looking. “Seeing that the boy has no family or place to go, I would like to take the boy with me. The church has associations with a boy’s group home that he can stay at until we can get him a more permanent placement.”


“I am sorry Father, but that is not possible.” The Lieutenant stated still scowling. “Personally I think you are making a big mistake dropping the charges. How else is the boy going to learn that he isn’t supposed to break the law?”


“Lieutenant, I am a man of God and I can tell when I see a good boy. God is telling me that there is more to this than what we can see and that I need to help him. So I will say again; the Church will not be pressing any charges and I ask that you release the boy into my care.” Father Caleb interrupted.


“I am sorry Father but if you can give me a chance to finish, I will explain why I can’t release him yet.” The Lieutenant stated sharply. He then went on. “The boy may be a runaway or he may be a juvenile delinquent. Either way, we cannot release him until we check him out fully.” He said this with a smug look.


“Surely Lieutenant, you can check him out while he is staying at the group home. You know where you can find him if it turns out that you do find something. Personally, I don’t think you will find anything and I would hate to see the poor boy locked up somewhere several days while you do your checks.”


The Lieutenant wasn’t about ready to give up just yet. “Father, you know that we have to contact Child Services in situations like these.”


“Lieutenant, you know very well that our group home works closely with Child Services and that we can do all the paper work there. Look at it this way; I can save you all that paperwork that I know you hate doing.”


I could see that the Father was getting his point across as the Lieutenant stood there and thought about all that paperwork.


Finally, the Lieutenant relented. I could see in his eyes that he was won over by the Priest’s argument. “Alright, but just know that I am going to still check the kid out through the system.” He then looked over at me and I swear he had scowl back. “Before you leave, I will need your finger prints.” He said flatly.


The Lieutenant then came over to me and was about to unlock the ankle cuffs. It was then when he noticed my wet pants. “Boy! Why didn’t you tell me you had to pee?!” He asked loudly and sounded as if he was getting angry again.


I blushed deep red as the officer blurted this out. I felt like both Father Caleb and Lieutenant Grant were staring at me as if I were some sort of stupid little kid. I would later find out that Father Caleb was very concerned for me and very upset with the Lieutenant for his loud announcement made to just embarrass me. But for now I tried my best to explain as my face burned.


“I tried to get someone’s attention but no one came and I couldn’t hold it any longer.” I mumbled as the Lieutenant un-cuffed me.


The Lieutenant was about to say something but was stopped by Father Caleb. “Don’t you worry Ben, I am sure we can find you some clean clothes for you to change into once we get to the group home.”


At this, the Lieutenant had me follow him out of the room and down the hall into another room. Now when I heard that the Lieutenant wanted my fingerprints my first thought was, I was finally going to be able to prove who I was. I also expected to be printed like I was when I was a kid. Back then, my parents took me down to the police station to get me fingerprinted so the police would have my fingerprints in case anything ever happened to me. You know, it was part of the McGruff the Crime Dog ‘Stranger Danger Program’. Anyway, back then they stuck each of your fingers one by one on an ink pad then rolled them on a sheet of paper. Boy was I surprised to find that technology has come a long way and now we no longer need that ink pad. The good thing about that is no more ink mess on your fingers that take days to wear off. Instead I was told to sit down next to the Lieutenant who sat at a computer. He then instructed me how to roll each of my fingers over the scanner that sat in front of me. It seemed to take several times for each finger before he was completely satisfied and moved on. As we were doing this, I found myself wondering how long it would take for the computer to find my fingerprints from when I was a child. As I stated before, I had never been in trouble before so I didn’t have any other fingerprints on file. Also, I wasn’t sure if my fingerprints were even in the computer database or not. Anyway, as soon as he had my prints scanned, he led me back to the lobby where Father Caleb was waiting for me.


The Father then took hold of my shoulder and directed me towards the door which the Lieutenant opened for us. Before we went through though, the Father stopped briefly at the doorway and turned towards the Lieutenant.


“I hope I will see you at Mass Charles.” With that we left the police station and walked out to his car. When he told me to get inside, I looked at him worriedly. I guess he had forgotten the wet condition my pants were in. To remind him, I pointed to my pants in hopes that he would understand without me having to explain any further.


“Ah… That is right!” He then scrounged around in his truck and a moment later emerged with a plastic grocery bag in his hand. “Okay, put this on the seat and sit on it.” I did as I was told and sat down on the bag.


As we drove away, I wondered where we were going. This day so far had not gone good for me and I was worried that it was going to continue to be bad. I found myself thinking about what Mike had said about the wish running its course. How was I supposed to know if I was working in the right direction for it to do so? Then again, maybe it didn’t matter.


“Alright we’re here.” Father Caleb announced, bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked out the window as he turned off the ignition and began to get out of the car. When he saw that I wasn’t getting out he looked in at me. Come on Ben we need to get you inside and registered, so that you don’t miss lunch.


“I know, but what about my pants!” I reminded him quickly.


“Don’t worry Ben; I am sure Mrs. Betty can find something for you to wear.”


I didn’t know who Mrs. Betty was but I was about to find out.



Chapter 8


As we entered the home, I hid behind Father Caleb. I of course wasn’t shy or anything like that. It was just the fact that there were several other boys in the front room of the home as we walked in and I didn’t want them to see that I had wet my pants. The only problem with that was, I was a new face and soon I had a group of boys following me and Father Caleb.


I didn’t know it then but I would learn that there were a total of 11 boys in the group home and all of them seemed to be following me. The boys looked to be between the ages of 10 to 14. In order to try and keep them from seeing the wet patch on the front of my pants, I inched up closer to Father Caleb, to the point where I was almost riding his leg. You know, being 39 years old, you would think I would have remembered that I had been sitting down when I had wet my pants and therefore they would have a big wet spot on the butt of them. For some reason though, I completely went stupid. I guess you could say I was acting like the age I looked. Anyway, I was so concerned about the front of my pants that I forgot the back them. Of course one of the older boys picked up on this right away!


“Hey look guys! He wet his pants like a wittle baby!” The boy shouted in baby talk loud enough for everyone to hear. “Ooooooh! Look at the wittle baby!” He laughed loudly with his friends. I of course felt like bursting into tears, which was a strange feeling in of its own since it is one a little kid would normally have and not an adult like myself.


“Damn Ben! You look like a little kid and at this moment there is nothing you can do about that! But I absolutely draw the line when it comes to acting like a little kid!” I silently scolded myself.


“Peter! You know better than to make fun of somebody!” Father Caleb scolded the older boy sternly, the one that just called me a baby. “Now apologize to Ben here for what you said!”


I watched the boy as he respectfully looked at Father Caleb. “Sorry Father.” The boy named Peter apologized to the Priest. He then looked over at me and even though he smiled, looked, and kind of sounded sincere; I wasn’t born yesterday! As Peter said “I am sorry for making fun of your disability.” I could hear the disdain hidden in his voice and I knew right then that Peter was not going to be one that I could count as a friend while here. It didn’t help that as soon as Father Caleb turned his back that the older boy Peter motioned with his closed fist and thumb across his neck, to show he meant to cut my neck off as soon as he had a chance.


Before I could retaliate or do anything, an unseen voice rang out. “Boys! Isn’t it about lunch time?” The voice was that of a woman and it sounded like it came from somewhere up ahead. Then as if to prove she existed, the woman stepped into the hallway from an office just up ahead of us and to the right. The boys didn’t move right away and the woman gave them a severe look. “Boys! Go to the dining room now!”


“Yes Mrs. Betty.” They all said in chorus. The boys then took off down the hall and out of sight.


With the way she looked at the boys and the command she had over them, I felt that I too would have followed the boys if it hadn’t been for my wet pants. Not only that but I was after all pretty hungry. For now though, I chose to stick close to Father Caleb and hope that maybe he might find out that this place is full and after getting me a change of clothes taking me to a better place. I know, as an adult I should know better but one could wish, could they?


“Hello Father, so you are bringing us a new boy?” Mrs. Betty asked as she waved us into the small and crowded office.


“Yes Mrs. Betty. His name is Ben and he doesn’t have a family.”


Mrs. Betty looked at me sweetly. “I am so sorry little one.” She said apologetically like it was all her fault I was parentless.


“I am not a little kid!” I announced defiantly.


Of course, it didn’t help that I looked everything like a little kid, including my peed pants! Mrs. Betty of course just took it in as me just being a kid. She sat down behind a small desk piled high with thick manila folders. I figured the manila folders represented the children that came to stay here in this group home. There was also a computer which she began typing on and I figured she was probably starting a file for me.


“So Ben dear, how old are you?” She asked.


“39” I replied a little aggravated. I was starting to get tired of being referred to as a kid, so my aggravation was winning over my common sense. Meaning the common sense that no one is going to believe me when I tell them that I am actually an adult.


“9” Mrs. Betty stated as she typed the answer into her computer form.


I am not sure what I hated more, the fact that she misunderstood me or the fact that she could actually believe that I could actually be 9 years old!


“I didn’t say 9! I said 3-9!” I repeated.


This made Mrs. Betty stop and look me over. “Now Ben, this is a time to be serious. Please tell me how old you really are?”


I really considered telling her the truth, that I was 39 last night and that I woke up like this. But so far this hasn’t worked out so well for me, well other than Father Caleb, he seemed to be about the only one who kind of seemed to believe me. Then again he could have just been humoring me. It wasn’t like he was coming to my aid just now so I guess he didn’t really believe me after all. For now, I did not want to make matters worse for me. Mike had stated that all I had to do was let the wish run its course and everything would go back to normal. From what I could gather, if I kept fighting this situation, then it would never run its course! So, I decided to cooperate and play the game and pretend to be the kid everyone thought I was. Since I wasn’t sure exactly what age I was at the moment, I lied.


“I am 12.” I said off the top of my head.


She looked at me as if she didn’t believe me but after a moment she typed something into her computer. “And your family is all dead? Is that correct?” I just nodded my head as she looked at me for my answer. Again she typed on her computer. And this was how it went for the next 10 or so minutes. She would ask me questions and I would either answer her truthfully or come up with a believable lie. “Well Father, I will take it from here. Will you be joining us for lunch?” You know, before Mrs. Betty said this, I had completely forgotten that Father Caleb was there. At least over the last 10 minutes or so I had.


“I wish I could but I need to supervise a window replacement.”


I of course knew what he was talking about and was glad when he didn’t go into it further. “Alright Father, I suppose we will see you tomorrow?”


“Of course.” He then looked at me. “Son, I am not sure what it is exactly, but I have a feeling that God has something special planned for you.” He then ruffled my hair a little. “You be good and I will see you tomorrow.” He then looked at Mrs. Betty. “I am going to see personally that he gets placed in a permanent home.” He informed her before saying goodbye and leaving.


“Okay Ben, let’s go and see if we can find you some things to where while here with us. That way you can change into some clean clothes and put on some real shoes.” As Mrs. Betty said this last part she eyed my cloth bound feet which made me feel a little subconscious. “Okay Ben, just follow me. The clothing room is just down the hall to the left. I am sure we can find plenty of things for you to wear in your size.”


Sure enough, there was a large room filled with boys clothing. Mrs. Betty found me 5 shirts and 2 pairs of blue jeans, 1 pair of good pants and 1 good shirt for church, and a pair of sweats. She also found 2 pairs of PJ's that fit me as well. At first I was afraid that she was going to make me wear someone else underwear and socks but it turned out that they got donations to buy new underwear and socks for us boys. And so she gave me a new package of underwear and socks. I just hope I can keep those underwear dry!  


The last thing she helped me pick out was a coat and a pair of shoes that fit. This now completed my new wardrobe. She put all of this into a couple of grocery bags and had me follow her upstairs to a small room with a bunk bed in it.


“AJ is your bunkmate and nice boy. You guys are lucky because you get the small room. So you only have to share with each other.”


I wasn’t really sure what was good about it. As she said, the room was dinky. It also had a very familiar odor that, I knew all too well. It wasn’t hard to figure out the reason why Mrs. Betty stuck me in this room and maybe she thought she was doing me a favor and maybe she was. Still, I am sure the others weren’t dumb. You couldn’t pass this room in the hallway without smelling the pee smell that emanated from this room. For now though, I chose to do my best to ignore it.


“Okay Ben. I am going to put your stuff here in this drawer…” at this Mrs. Betty started opening drawers on one of the small dressers in the room and putting away my new clothes. “…and while I am doing this, you can take a shower across the hall and get cleaned up. If you look here…” at this she pointed to the bar next to my dresser that had a towel rack with a towel and a wash cloth on it. “…This is where you will keep your wash cloth and towel until laundry day. Okay, now here you go.” Mrs. Betty handed me a change of my new clothes and I grabbed my towel and wash cloth and started towards the door but was stopped before I left the room. “I am sorry Ben, Lunch will be over by the time you get done but I will go ahead and put something aside for you when you are ready to eat.”


And with that, I headed for the shower and the beginning of my new existence here at this place.



Chapter 9


I am not sure how long I stood there and allowed the warm water to pour over my childish body; all I could say for sure is that it felt great! My body and muscles had begun to stiffen and whether it was due to being out in the cold earlier or if it was something to do with the process of being turned into a little snot nose brat, I wasn’t sure! Whatever it was, the hot water from the shower was helping them feel better. In fact, if it hadn’t been for Mrs. Betty checking up on me, I may have stood there underneath the shower head until the hot water was completely gone.


 “Are you about done in there Ben?!” her voice was loud enough to be heard from the hallway and over the sound of the shower.


Afraid that she might come in and see me naked, I quickly replied with a lie. “I am almost done Mrs. Betty!” I yelled out loud enough for her to hear.


I then started to fervently scrub myself clean as fast as I could. I did this in order to finish cleaning myself before Mrs. Betty became curious and decided to come in and look for herself.


I think I must have beaten a record as I was washed and rinsed off completely and was in the process of drying myself off by the time that Mrs. Betty came back. I can’t be sure as I didn’t have a watch, but I don’t think even 5 minutes had gone by yet.


As I heard her approach I mentally kicked myself for not remembering to shut the bathroom door once I got out of the shower. I was so sure Mrs. Betty was going to just walk right in on me and when it didn’t happen, I was pretty surprised. I guess she must have heard me drying off as she stopped in the hallway.


“Are you about done Ben?” Came Mrs. Betty’s voice from around the corner. I could see now that she was trying to give me my privacy.


“Almost, I just need to get dressed.” And even though I could see that it appeared she was trying to give me my privacy, I still had an irrational fear that at any moment she was going to try coming into the bathroom at any second and see me naked.


“Okay child, hurry up and finish. Once your dressed, meet me out in the hall.” I then heard her walk down the hall a ways as if she was checking in on something else. I then heard her talking to someone. I couldn’t make out what she was saying and I really didn’t care either.


Deciding not to take any more chances, I walked over and shut the bathroom door.  With my privacy once more, I finished drying off before quickly putting on my underwear and pants before Mrs. Betty had a chance to change her mind and come back. The turtle neck shirt was actually not too bad looking and almost looked new and as I pulled it on, I checked myself out in the mirror. As I stood there, I found myself also thinking about what Mrs. Betty had asked about. For the life of me I just couldn’t figure it out no matter how long I looked at myself. I just couldn’t figure out exactly how old I was. How far back in age did Mike send me? Since he didn’t send me in time as well, there isn’t the date element to use to figure out my age. So how am I supposed to figure out my age? Well I guess if I see him again I will have to ask him I suppose. Finally I stepped away from the mirror and opened the bathroom door and entered the hallway where Mrs. Betty was waiting for me.


“Follow me Ben. This is the way to the dining room. Most meals are served there and unless otherwise told, you will report there for your meals.” Mrs. Betty explained as she showed the way downstairs to the dining room.


We passed a few other rooms, where some of the boys were doing other things in. Finally we entered the dining room where I found a plate with a sandwich and chips and a small bowl of soup. Mrs. Betty smiled as she watched me sit down in front of the food set out for me and as I started to eat, she gave me one last instruction before she left for her office.


“Ben, once you are done eating, please come to my office and I will explain how we do things here.” And with that said, Mrs. Betty left the room the way we entered.


I ate every bite of that lunch that Mrs. Betty put out for me. And even though I could have eaten more, at least I wasn’t starving anymore.


With my lunch finished, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with the dishes. After a moment’s thought, I figured I better take them to the kitchen. Of course I wasn’t sure exactly where the kitchen was but there were only three doors into the dining room. One was the one I came in from. There was one directly across from that one and then on the same side of the wall but on the other end of the room there was the third door. I was pretty sure that this was most likely the door to the kitchen.


Sure enough, as I entered through the door I walked into a large kitchen which was in the process of being cleaned by 2 of the boys. So far the boys hadn’t noticed me or either that, they didn’t care. I decided not to risk it anyway and set my dishes down on a nearby counter and backed out of the Kitchen as quietly as I could.


“Boy that was close.” I breathed as soon as I was once again in the dining room. “I guess I better go see if I can find Mrs. Betty’s office now.” I thought to myself.


I was pretty sure I could find it as we had now passed it more than twice. I knew all I had to do was pretty much follow the hallway to the front and that it would lead me to where the office was. Or I should say the general area of the office. Sure enough, I had no trouble whatsoever locating the office and found Mrs. Betty behind her desk. Currently though, she was busy with a phone call. So I sat in the chair in front of the desk and patiently waited for her. I actually think she was surprised by how patient I was. I mean she was really complimenting me about it once she was done with her call. I keep forgetting that most kids are not patient or kind or understanding or any of that other mature stuff.


“So Ben, what can I do for you?” She asked me with a smile on her face.


“Well… I was wondering, what am I supposed to do while I am here? Besides you’re the one that told me to come here.” I reminded her.


“Oh that is right. I am sorry Ben; my mind has been in a million places today. Let’s see, where to begin? Well Ben, we assign chores at the beginning of each week, which is Sunday. Since it is Thursday you don’t have to worry about chores for a few days unless you want to help out. You will have to go to School with all the other boys but since the school is out this week you won’t have to go till next week.”


“Do the Nuns teach the classes?”


“Nun’s… I am sorry… What do you mean Ben?”


“Nun’s, I figured because that Father Caleb had something to do with this place that it was Catholic related.” As I said this and saw the look on Mrs. Betty’s face I realized that I misunderstood something.


“Yes Father Caleb is very involved with our Boys Home, but we are not related with the Catholic Church. We do go to Mass and we do go to other church functions but that is the only involvements other than the donations that the church gives us. All the boys here attend public schools.”


The idea of going back to school wasn’t very pleasant to me. Shoot the first time through was pretty crappy. Then again at least I wouldn’t have to deal with abusive Nuns and pedophilic priest. I know it is stereo typing but hell, with the way things have been going for the last day; it seems that the worse scenario is the most likely thing to happen to me. Somehow I just need to get through this wish and get back to the real me and then fix my life!


“You know we still have to figure out what grade you are in so we can get you in the right classes.” Mrs. Betty interrupted my thoughts and the way she said this it was as if she was saying you better fess up to you age and everything else ‘OR ELSE’! “Meal times are 7am for Breakfast. When not at school, you eat lunch at Noon. Dinner is at 6pm sharp unless otherwise noted. You will be awakened before breakfast with enough time so that you can shower and get ready for the day.”


At this point Mrs. Betty stopped talking and there was an awkward silence in the room for several minutes. I looked up at Mrs. Betty who seemed to be thinking about something. I don’t know why maybe it was a warning of some kind, you know, the warning that someone about to broach something that is uncomfortable to talk about. And of course for me there is one major thing besides the ‘being turned into a kid thing’ and something told me that wasn’t it, the kid thing wasn’t it that is. No, it had to be the topic of bed wetting.


Finally Mrs. Betty asked the dreaded question. “Ben, I was wondering, do you still wet the bed?”


For a moment I considered saying “NO! I don’t wet the bed!” But after thinking about it I figured it would be pretty pointless I was pretty sure after wetting twice while sleeping that I would most likely continue wetting and all I would be then is be a liar. I was pretty sure that when Mike turned me back to my kid self he also gave me my kid health problems as well like my bladder problem. So I decided to be honest with Mrs. Betty.


“Yes Mrs. Betty, I still wet the bed every night.” I then took a very deep breath and gave her the further truth as I was sure I was still below the age where I stopped having daytime accidents. “I also as you already seen, have daytime accidents still.” I almost whispered that last part out of embarrassment.


“Is it just bladder or bowel too? Don’t be afraid if it is both, as we have had boys from time to time that have had this problem as well.”


As I heard Mrs. Betty say this, I couldn’t help thinking to myself “They must get a lot of freaks.” Out loud though, I just said, “No, just a bladder problem.”


 “Okay then. If you wet your bed, you will be responsible for taking care of your wet bed every morning. This means you will strip the wet bedding and bring it along with your pajamas to the laundry, which I will show where it is as soon as we are done talking. You will then go to the bathroom where in the cupboard you will find disinfectant and you will clean the rubber sheet. Ben, please know that this is not meant as a punishment but is just meant to give you an act of responsibility. Do you understand?”


I nodded my head. As a child who grew up as a bed wetter, I understood this better than most probably did. “I understand Mrs. Betty.”


“Okay let’s see is there anything that I am forgetting. Hmmmm… Well… there is study time for homework and bible. And then finally there is structured free time. Also if you have behaved, there are special events that we do for those boys who have been good. You have to of course earn points towards those events to be able to participate in them. For those who are bad and break the rules, oh that reminds me…” Mrs. Betty opened up a bottom drawer of her desk and pulled out a little booklet. “This here is a pamphlet that has all the rules in it. It also has a list of privileges you can earn as well with good behavior. It also explains how the Demerit system works around here. Bad behavior will earn boys demerits. In order to get rid of demerits, you have to work them off. Boys with demerits will not be allowed to participate in extracurricular activities. Please note that if you become too problematic that we will have no choice but to remove you from our program. You would then be sent to a state run facility that handles problematic kids. So, I would suggest following the rules and being good.” Mrs. Betty winked at me. “Now, unless you are going to tell me how old you really are, how about we go and show you the laundry.”


Of course me telling her my age wasn’t going to happen to her satisfaction, so we headed back towards the dining room and went through it and through the other door I saw and all the way the back of the house to a large room that smelled of laundry soap. Inside was 3 large industrial washer and dryers. I quickly noticed 2 boys and a large black man busily working back there and it didn’t take me long to figure out that one of the boys was my tormentor from earlier.


“Ben, I would like you to meet Kip. He is one of our house dads. Kip, this new boy is Ben.”


“Well how do you do Benji?” Kip asked me holding his large hand out to me.


This guy would have still towered over me if I had been my adult self. “I bet the kids don’t mess with you.” I said trying to joke but sounding nervous.


“Oh you got me all wrong Benji. I am just a pussy cat!” Now I subconsciously missed the first time he called me Benji but I definitely heard it this time.


“I am sorry but my name isn’t Benji, it is Ben.” I informed Kip.


“Sorry little man, didn’t to upset you.” Kip apologized and ruffled my hair.


As Kip apologized I heard Peter and the other Boy snickering to themselves and I was sure I was the one they were laughing about. Mrs. Betty and Kip also heard the boys snickering as well.


“Why don’t you scallywags get back to work before I give you more demerits to work off!” Kip boomed at them and they both jumped back to work. He then turned and looked at me and winked. “See, just cuddly as a pussy cat but I also have the claws.” And he gave me another wink before he too went back to work.


Mrs. Betty chuckled a little before taking me over to where I was to take my wet stuff in the mornings if I woke up wet.


“Okay, here is where you will put your wet stuff in the morning.” She then pointed to a table over by the wall with some sheets on it already. “You will find your clean stuff folded on the table over there later in the day. It will be your responsibility to pick it up and put it back on your bed.”


We then left the laundry of course Peter eyeballed me pretty good as we left. I really didn’t feel too safe there. I didn’t remember seeing a lock on our bedroom door and for all I knew Peter could have been my roommate, of course I doubted that due to my roommate being a bed wetter. With Peter being so much bigger than me and the fact that I was never really a fighter, I knew I was dead meat if Peter decided to come after me. I decided my only course of action was to let Mrs. Betty know of my fear.


“Mrs. Betty, I was wondering if we can talk in private for a few minutes.” I asked her as we walked back towards the front of the house.


“Okay, then after that I am going to introduce you to your new roommate so that you can get to know each other.”


We then walked quietly back to her office where she shut and locked her door. She then took her seat behind her desk and waited for me to sit before asking me what it was that I needed to talk to her about.


“I don’t want to be a snitch or anything but I am really afraid that Peter might try and beat me up. He has given me every indication that he wants to beat me up or at least hurt me in some way. He has already made fun of me and the way he stared at me in the laundry I am sure he has something planned against me and I am afraid of being hurt.”


“I see. While we don’t tolerate any misbehavior, which includes picking on any of the other boys; we can’t do anything to Peter until he actually breaks a rule.”


“But if that is the case, then I will be hurt already!” I stated in a panic rush.


“I understand what you are saying but just because you think something is going to happen doesn’t make it so. I have to hope that Peter will do the right thing and follow the rules. Peter knows that he is on thin ice as is. I really don’t think he will beat you up. I will tell Kip and the rest of the house parents to keep an eye out for you. How does that sound?”


“What about at night? There is no lock on our room and he could just come in.” I pleaded with her.


“Kevin is on tonight. He is a good guy and I will make sure he keeps an eye out for you and your room. Now I would like to take you to meet your new roommate as I need to get back here as I have 5 more boys coming in today. Though tomorrow we are going to sit down and discuss what grade you’re in at school so we can get you enrolled next week.”


It turned out that my new roommate was actually in our room studying. It looked like he had a US Geography book opened up on one of the 2 desks in the room.


“AJ, this is Ben, he is a new boy that just arrived today and will be your new roommate.” And as Mrs. Betty introduced us, AJ’s eyes grew big in alarm.


Of course I knew what his problem was. “Don’t worry I have the same problem.” Was the only thing I said and it did the trick. He calmed down and became relaxed. I don’t understand how he thought he was hiding it before anyways, as I smelled the pee the minute I entered the room.


“Well I am going to let you guys get to know each other.” And with that Mrs. Betty left.


So until Dinner time, I got to know about AJ and I found out some pretty interesting things about him. I found out that both of his parents were alive but his dad was in prison for killing someone and his mom was considered unfit. He was the youngest of 4 kids, 3 boys 1 sister. He hadn’t seen any of his siblings in a couple years and according to him, he doesn’t really care if ever does see them again. Because both of his parents are considered unfit, the state had terminated their parental rights and AJ is adoptable. The problem is that because of his age and the fact that he has a few problems mainly being a bed wetter, most people tend to not want him. So he has basically remained in the system being bumped from 1 foster home to another until he finally made it here and so he likes it here the best. He just recently turned 11 years old and started Junior High School. He had now been at this home for boys for around 7 months but he been in the foster care system since he was 8. The most mysterious of all, his bedwetting problem started after he was put into foster care. I really think there is something he isn’t telling me but oh well. I was surprised I got that much out of him.


Of course I was so enrapt in his story I did exactly what I didn’t want to do. I at some point peed my pants. In fact it was AJ who noticed it.


“Uh… Ben… You ah… Man you peed your pants.” The last part he whispered in my ear as if he were afraid someone was listening at our door.


I jumped up. “Damn!” I looked down at myself in disgust. “I got to start remembering to go to the bathroom regularly!”


“It is almost dinner time and everyone will be going down to eat. So just wait until they do then use the bathroom to clean-up. Then just come down a little late. Then later you can tell Kip what happened and he will understand.” AJ explained.


And this was exactly what I did. I waited until everyone went downstairs and then headed into the bathroom and quickly cleaned up and changed into another pair of jeans. I looked into the mirror to comb my hair so that I would look halfway decent and who do I see looking back at me? If you said Mike, then you were right!



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Chapter 10


Mike’s sudden appearance in the mirror startled me so much that it caused me to jump backwards in fright. You might have thought I would have screamed my lungs out, but surprisingly I didn’t. I am not sure what it was that stopped me from screaming out in terror just then but whatever it was, I am sure Mike had something to do with it. My bladder was also affected by his sudden appearance and tried to empty itself as Mike spoke to me but I had luckily peed just moments before and therefore only a very small and unnoticeable dribble came out of me.


“So, how are things going for you Benji?” Mike smiled mischievously out at me from the mirror. “I hope you are enjoying your wish and are getting everything you were expecting out of it.” As he smiled I found myself wondering if he was being serious or if this was meant as some sort of really bad joke! Whatever his intent was, it was definitely making me very upset!


With a mountain of anger building inside of me, I tried my best to regain my composer but found myself failing miserably. “ENJOYING IT! YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!” I shouted and glared back at him in the mirror. I was finding myself more and more upset with how Mike could think I would possibly enjoy any of this. Then something else occurred to me. “YOU PROBABLY NEVER EVEN BEEN A KID BEFORE, SO HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE ONE?!” I again yelled at Mike, my nostrils flaring in anger.


“Now calm down. You don’t want anyone downstairs to hear you screaming and come running up here to check on you… Do you?” Mike calmly asked as he checked his nails, for what, I wasn’t sure. “And believe me Benji when I tell you, that I have experiences beyond those that your human mind could ever comprehend. I might not have the same sense of a childhood that you had but I did have my version of one. So please let’s be civil and not get all bent out of shape. That means no hissy fits. For a person who is so bent on wanting to show he is an adult, you sure are acting like a child!” At this he was correct, I was acting like a brat throwing a tantrum. “Now if we are done with the dramatics, I figured you might have some questions by now and I am here to answer a few. Well actually just a moment, I want to get comfortable.” At this I watched Mike as he backed up in the mirror and suddenly a Lazy Boy chair came into view. He gave a little smirk at my stupefied expression as he leaned back and settled comfortably in the chair. “Okay I’m ready; you can go ahead and ask your questions.”


Mike was right about keeping calm and not screaming. The last thing I wanted was someone to come running upstairs and interrupt this conversation. I also had a sinking feeling that if anyone were to enter the bathroom at this moment while we were talking, they would neither hear nor see Mike. This of course would lead to everyone thinking I was crazy, as I appeared to be having a conversation with a mirror I named Mike. They would either think Mike is my reflection or my invisible friend that lives in the mirror in the upstairs bathroom or just some other figment of my imagination. Either way, by the time Mike got sat in his Lazy Boy chair, I had calmed enough to regain some of my composure; at least to the point where I was able to carry on a civil conversation. Don’t get me wrong, I was still very upset with him for turning my life upside down but I was at least ready to listen and I definitely had my share of questions for him.


“Alright but I am not happy with this one bit. You said I have to let the wish run its course and so I will, I just wish I knew how much longer it would take for it to do so. Can you at least tell me how far back in age you took me to? I really need to know because everyone is bugging me about my age and the only thing I know for sure is my real age. I have looked in the mirror and I can’t figure out from my face how old I am.”


For a moment Mike looked at me from the chair in the mirror. It seemed as if he was looking me up and down as if he was trying to figure out the same way I had tried earlier to figure how old I was. Could it really be that Mike himself didn’t even know my actual age?


“Hmm, I would say roughly 11 years old but hey, you could almost pick any age between 9 and 13 and get away with it, I am sure.” Mike said thoughtfully. “It is really your choice in the end.” He looked at me nodding, his head up and down as if he was agreeing with his own words.


“What am I going to do for school records?” I wasn’t sure about this at all as I couldn’t produce any such records. “Or for that matter what about all the other legal records like, just for example, a Social Security Number, Birth Certificate, and etc.” I asked Mike, throwing up my hands in frustration.


“You know what?” Mike winked at me. “You think too much! Trust me; it will all work out in the end. Right now all you need to do is pick an age that you feel most comfortable with. Remember this as the Golden Rule… ‘Let the wish resolve itself’.” With that last thing said, Mike and his chair, was gone from the mirror. Instead of Mike’s gaze, I now saw my own goofy kid reflection looking back at me in the mirror.


“…But Mike, I have more questions I need answered!” I pleaded to my reflection in the mirror. Unfortunately, my reflection stayed the same and Mikes did not return. “Darn it! Why does he have to leave like that?! It figures he would vanish before he finished answering all my questions!” I groaned to myself as I continue to stare hopefully into the mirror, silently praying that he still might return. After a while, I had to accept that Mike wasn’t coming back and that I was already late for Dinner.


After taking a couple of breaths, I resumed my previous task, to clean up for dinner. I was already dressed, so I finished combing my hair. Finally, I gathered my wet jeans and underwear and took them back to my bedroom; I would deal with them later after dinner was over with. For now, all I had to do is somehow manage not to wet my last pair of jeans; otherwise I was going to have a real problem. To make sure no accidents happened at dinner, I made one more stop at the bathroom before going to the dining room but as I said, I had already had gone only moments earlier so all I was able to do was another little dribble.


Cleaned up, changed, and my bladder completely empty; I headed to the dining room. Of course I was now about 15 minutes late by the time I got there and found my seat. As I entered, I noticed that there was a light chatter of voices going on around the table. All that changed once my presence was noticed. As soon as I was spotted entering the dining room, the voices trailed off and a deafening quiet quickly settled over the table.


For a moment I saw everyone look at me and in that same moment all the blood in my body found its way to my face as it turned crimson with embarrassment. Due to the embarrassment, I averted my eyes but I could still feel everyone’s eyes staring at me as I walked over to the table. It wasn’t hard to find the one empty seat with a plate of food in front of it. Taking my seat I continued to ignore the stares I got from the boys and also the adults as well. I knew I was in trouble and my only hope was that AJ was right, that the adults would understand and let me off the hook for being late to dinner. I was sure someone was going to say something about me coming in late. Instead I was surprised when the talk in the room continued as if nothing had interrupted it at all.


Dinner consisted of mashed potatoes, green beans, cornbread, and meatloaf, which really wasn’t that bad. Because I had been so ashamed of myself when I first came in, I didn’t participate with the dinner conversation. In fact, I didn’t even bother to look up from my plate of food other to get another helping of potatoes or beans. In fact, I hadn’t even realized that AJ was sitting on my right; that is, not until he jabbed me roughly in my ribs.


“OW” I cried out and of course got the attention of everyone at the table again.


“Is there something going on down there?” Kip gave AJ a look that said it all. “No roughhousing boys! Now please let’s finish eating.” Shortly after that, everyone went back to their own discussions.


“Why did you do that?” I hissed as I rubbed the sore spot on my side where AJ struck me.


At that moment I would have loved to jab AJ back in his ribs and see how he would like it. Instead though, I just dealt with the pain for the moment.


“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you so hard.” And he did seem to be very sincere in his apology. Of course he seemed to forget the niceties and moved on to demands. “What took so long?!” He demanded to know.


I could not see why he had to be so rude about this especially after hurting me like he did. All this did was anger me again.


“Hey!” I said a little too loudly. Of course everyone looked over our way once again. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.” I grumbled an apology as I rubbed the sore spot where AJ had jabbed my ribs. “Now tell me why in the world you had to hit me like that?” I demanded.


AJ just stared blankly at me and it took a lot to keep me from blowing up at him again. The last thing I wanted of course was everyone staring at me once more, so I did everything I could to try and release my anger. I mean, AJ was just an 11 year old boy and so I needed to understand that I couldn’t expect anything more from him than that. Then, as I was about to write him off, he suddenly got it.


“Oh shit man, I really am sorry! I promise you that I really didn’t mean to hurt you or disrespect you.” He then leaned real close to my ear as he whispered in it. “The thing is, I was just getting worried about you and wondering what took so long for you to get down here.” AJ whispered this so that only I could hear him.


I was still a little upset at him jabbing me in my ribs but I was starting to understand AJ was a very energetic kid and once you wound him up, it takes hours for him to wind down. In the end I found that I couldn’t be mad at this kid just because he had a lot of energy to expend. In fact I remember being a lot like him when I was a child the first time around.


I leaned close to his ear so that I was sure that what I said would stay between AJ and me. “I promise you, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” I whispered. “I just hope you were right and that they won’t get mad at me for being so late. By the way, what happens if I wet the jeans I am wearing now before the jeans I was wearing earlier get washed? I mean, I won’t have any clean pair of jeans to wear and I will be down to wearing either my good pants or pajama bottoms.” Then another thought occurred and worried me. “What happens if I wet all of those too?” I worriedly whispered, my lips practically kissing AJ’s ear.


AJ gave me a disgusted look while wiping spittle from his ear. “We can talk about it after dinner.” Was the only thing he would tell me on that subject.


Now on other subjects he talked freely. For instance, I learned about the other adult at the dinner table. Her name was Rhonda and according to AJ she normally comes in at 4pm and works to midnight. I found out that she usually prepares dinner on the days that she worked. Of course Kip was also at the dinner table. At first I thought Mrs. Betty was just in her office, but I would shortly find out otherwise.


Dinner really didn’t last much longer. I guess I came in around the halfway point as Dinner was usually a 30 minute meal at least that is what AJ told me. Because I was still finishing my dinner when desert came out, by the time I finished mine, everyone other than AJ, had left the dining room. AJ of course stuck around waiting for me to finish, so that he could go with me to the office. He then followed me to the office and I thought he was going to come in with me for morale support, or at least that is what I had thought.


Instead he stopped at the office door and for a moment I was afraid that he was about to bolt but before I could say anything, I heard Kip’s voice come from inside the office and for the moment my mind only thought about one thing. Why was I seeing Kip? I had expected to be seeing Mrs. Betty not Kip.


“Why are we seeing Kip and not Mrs. Betty?” I asked.


“Mrs. Betty went home for the day after she did the paperwork for those new kids. You know the ones at…” AJ stopped in the middle of what he was saying because he suddenly burped loudly, which he then found extremely funny and began to laugh. When he saw that I wasn’t laughing he gave me a weird look and continued. “Anyway she got the new kids taken care of, and then she went home.” When he saw my blank stare he simply answered the best he knew how. “You know, the ones sitting across from you at dinner tonight.”


The way AJ said this, it was as if he expected me to be able to pick out who the new kids were. Of course I had not one clue which ones were the new ones and he never expanded on this. Instead he went on to tell me about the staff and their work hours. This of course went in one ear and out the other.


“Now Kip and Rhonda are in charge, which is until Kip gets off and Kevin comes on around 10pm. Then it is just him and Rhonda until she gets off around 12am then Kevin is by himself until Mrs. Biggs comes in at 4am. It isn’t until 6am that he is relieved by Jerry.” AJ explained.


Of course by this time, I was completely lost with all the worker’s names. I mean, I thought the only adults that worked here were Mrs. Betty, Kip, and Rhonda, who I of course had just met at dinner. And of course there was the mysterious Kevin I had yet to meet. Now suddenly I had a list of names of people that worked here and I wondered if I would ever be able to keep them straight.


I was wondering if I should ask him to repeat all of that or just blow out my brains, when he interrupted my thoughts. “Alright, just go in there and tell him the truth and you will be fine.” AJ explained as he pushed me towards the office door.


And as I had expected only moments before, he started to walk off, leaving me to fend for myself. This of course was something that I found unacceptable. As I had said, I had thought that he was going to be there with me giving me support, not taking off and leaving me to fend for myself!


My hand quickly shot out and grabbed his shirt. “Wait a minute! You are just going to take off and leave me to fend for myself?” I asked him in full panic mode. “I thought you were going to go in with me and support me? I mean, the guy is a huge black man!” I wasn’t acting either. I was seriously afraid that this could go very bad if the guy didn’t like my excuse. I know that my panic made no real sense to an adult mind but after everything going so screwy I no longer was sure about anything.


AJ peeled my hand off his shirt and tried to calm me. “Now Ben, I know that Kip looks threatening, but I promise you, he really is a good guy and he has looked out for me a lot. Also, he is the one who can help you deal with your jeans as well.” AJ then reached out and knocked on the door for me and before I could stop him again, he took off; leaving me standing there all alone.


“Come in.” I heard the deep boom of Kip’s voice bellow out through the closed door. Still shaking, I slowly opened the door.


“Ben… good, now I don’t have to send for you. Close the door please and take a seat.” And from the sound of his voice he didn’t sound angry, which I found encouraging. This could mean that I might live to see another day after all.


I closed the door as I was told then took a seat in front of the still very cluttered desk. As I sat, I could feel Kip’s gazing eyes trying size me up causing me to feel a little apprehensive.


“It is Ben right?” He asked calmly and I nodded my head yes. “Good then, I really like to get to know you guys better before handing out punishments, so please tell me you have a very good reason why you were late for dinner?” I was about to answer his question but before I could he cut me off. “I know that Mrs. Betty told you that Dinner is served at 6pm sharp every evening unless otherwise stated and that it is mandatory that you be there.” Kip sounded a little stern as he said this and again I became nervous.


I don’t know if it was because I was nervous or what, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember Mrs. Betty saying that exact statement. I remember her telling me the times of the meals, but I didn’t remember her telling me anything about it being mandatory that I be there for the meal on time. To be honest I don’t think she did tell me that, I think she must have forgotten that one. Of course after taking another look at this guy I decided I would rather not cause trouble by arguing that point with him. I figured it would be just easier for me to just accept it and go with it, then make the big black man angry with me!


“Remember Ben, you are here to get his sympathy vote not to call on his or his coworkers mistakes.” I told myself. “Besides, what if you are wrong and she did tell you that and you just forgot.” I quietly told myself.


With no other way, I took a breath and finally told Kip exactly why I failed to come to dinner on time. At first he seemed to show no emotion at all but after I finished explaining how I wet my pants, his whole demeanor changed. I swear I could see the empathy in his eyes. Almost as if he knew what it was like to be in my situation.


“I see Ben. Well under those circumstances I understand why you were late for dinner tonight. Just do me a favor though. Can you please try and be on time from now on?”


“I will try.” I sighed with a breath of relief. Of course I wasn’t 100% sure I could guarantee it though.


Kip then got up from the desk and headed to the corner of the room where a large canvas sack stood. I watched as he reached in and pulled out what looked like a plastic grocery bag and handed it to me. “Go and get your wet things and put them in this bag and bring it all back here.”


I did as he told me. I quickly ran upstairs and made my way to my room, where I didn’t even bother to say one word to AJ even though he said hello to me. I just went straight to my wet things and put them in the bag that Kip gave me, I then ran back down to the office. I didn’t even bother to pay attention to all the other boys who stared at me as I quickly ran by them. The whole trip took less than a minute, tops!


“Boy that was fast. I guess I should have told you no running.” Kip smiled as I ran back in the office breathing hard from the exertion.


I was only half paying attention as I tried to give him the bag of my wet things. But he wouldn’t take them from me.


“Oh no, not so fast Buddy. You and I are going take them to the laundry, then we will make sure they make it into the wash tonight.” Kip explained as he refused to take them a second time.


“But won’t the guys working in the laundry see that they’re wet and then they will make fun of me.” You know, I know I was an adult, but this made me feel like a little kid who really wanted to cry right then.


“Don’t fret, we will put it in the wash ourselves and that way they won’t have any proof that you wet your pants.” Kip promised.


And as he said we walked back to the laundry and even though Peter was back there with that same boy, Kip made sure he wasn’t able to actually see what we were doing, of course later I realized Peter would be putting my stuff in the dryer and even though Kip added stuff to the load he put in the wash I wondered if Peter would be able to figure it out.


          The rest of the evening seemed to go pretty slow. I remember that being another one of those kid things, where time seemed to drag real slow like! Since I had no chores assigned yet or any homework assignments, I really didn’t have anything to do to pass my time. I guess I could have gone down and watched TV with some of the other kids during free time but I really didn’t want to be around any of them right then. Besides, the last thing I needed was a distraction where I might end up peeing my pants in front several other boys. Nope, instead I decided to just stay in the room and help AJ with his homework. For his part, AJ reminded me to go to the bathroom like every 20 minutes so that I wouldn’t pee myself again.


          I really can’t believe how much I forgot when it came to school. It is ridiculous. It turned out that I wasn’t really that much help after all. This really got me thinking about the age thing again. Originally I had planned on going with the oldest age I could get away with which Mike had presumed was 13. The problem was, if I went with that age and then started school and had trouble because I forgot all I had learned way back then, would that cause my wish to last longer? Maybe in order for my wish to run its course faster, I might need to bite the bullet and my pride and pick a younger age. I wouldn’t mind picking 11; then I could go to school with AJ and at least have 1 friend at school. But then I would still have the same problem as AJ’s homework was harder than I remember homework ever being. I knew there was only one choice; I would have to go younger. I would have to choose 9.


          “AJ…” I started to ask him as I laid there on my bed staring at the underside of AJ’s bunk.


This was because I had the bottom bunk and AJ had the top. As for AJ, he was still sitting at his desk working on some math word problems, that I found harder than expected.


          “Yeah Ben.” He seemed, a little distracted.


          “I was wondering if you would still like me, if I was younger than you?” I asked.


          “I already knew you were younger than me Ben.” AJ stated as he turned around and looked at me.


          “Yeah, but what if I told you I was only 9 years old?” I asked hesitantly.


          “Ben, I don’t care if you are 9 years old or not. You are my Buddy and you will always be my buddy.” AJ gave me a big toothy smile, he then turned back to his math problems.


          I don’t know how an 11 year old could make me feel better than any adult has for ages. Maybe this is actually part of the Wish’s magical power. For the first time since all this started, I had a thought that maybe I am getting close to the end of all this. Then another thought hidden but trying to make its way forward, came to me.


          “Do I really want this to end?” Was the whisper of thought, which still refused, to come out of hiding.


          Unfortunately the rest of the night did not go so well. Right before bedtime Kip dropped in to let me know that my clothes should be done by now and that I should go down to the laundry room and get them. I was afraid to go down by myself as there was a chance that Peter might still be there. AJ offered to go down with me and I happily took him up on it. But as Kip had already promised me, no one was in the laundry room. I quickly located my jeans and underwear and we headed back up to our room.


“Boy, as soon as we get changed for bed, I am going to the toilet! I really need to shit!” I said as a strong urge hit me as we entered our room. I had thought we were free and clear of trouble now that we were out of the laundry room but that turned out not to be the case.


          “Well, well, well, looky here guys? It is none other than the Baby and the Bed Wetter!” Peter laughed at his own stupid joke.


          Along with Peter, there were 2 other boys roughly around his age of 13 or 14. I wasn’t sure what their intentions were but it was a good possibility that they were planning on beating us up.


          I was about to say something but Peter cut me off before I could. “Don’t bother denying it. I might have not been able to see what you put in the wash but I saw the bag you didn’t bother to take with you. Throwing it away in the laundry was a very bad move. It reeked of piss and I think the reason you were late to supper was because you wet your pants again. As for you AJ, your room in here as usual smells worse than the bathroom toilets. When are you going to learn to at least use air freshener properly?” Peter laughed and his buddies joined in. “I am getting sick and tired of cleaning your pissy sheets but I guess I will have to get used to cleaning yours as well!” Peter smirked in a condescending manner while smiling at me as if he found this very funny.


          AJ and I tried to evade the oncoming fight and made to leave but it turned out that another of Peter’s friends closed the door in front of us and blocked our escape. Before either one of us could do or say anything, his friends grabbed us. Our mouths were quickly gagged and we were restrained by them.


          “Give me the Baby first.” Peter commanded as he waved his friend over who was holding me.


          Being a boy my size compared to Peter, he easily pinned me to the bedroom floor. Now all of this may have sounded like it was happening real slowly but it in fact was happening really fast.


          “So Benji, I hear you really like to piss your pants a lot.” Peter chuckled and sniggered. It didn’t pass my attention at all that Peter had just called me Benji.


This seemed to get a lot of laughter from his friends. All I could do was glare at him. Again I wasn’t sure if it, the laughter, was more for the wetting bit or for him using my unwanted nick name. Peter of course knew that I despised being called Benji and he was going to let it go. I could see where this would end up, he would eventually have everyone calling me Benji in the end; no matter how much I tell them to call me Ben.


“Oh, that’s right. You don’t like to be called Benji. Is that so Benji?”


Peter chuckled at his wit and smiled at me. Oh how badly I wanted to just slap that smile off of his face, which unfortunately I was not exactly capable of doing in my current situation.


Not able to reply I just continued to glare angrily at him.


“Alright Benji, let’s see how much of a Baby you actually are.”


Peter then started to strip me of my clothing. First he took off my shirt then my shoes and socks; and finally my jeans. For some reason he stopped when he came to my underwear.


“Time for a titty twister.” Peter laughed evilly.


Then before I could do anything to stop it, he then took both of my nipples and twisted them violently. Without letting go, he then twisted them back the opposite direction. He repeated this a couple of times


“Oh my God!” I screamed inside my head as the gag muffled my voice.


The pain was so incredible that I let my guard down for a moment. That moment was all it took; the pain caused me to forget about controlling my bladder and bowels. I realized what was happening and tried to regain control but it was too late. I had already ended up voiding my bowels. It was as if one huge thin shit log started to fill the backside of my underpants. I tried my best to stop it but once it started I was unable to stop it. When I finally was done I felt much better in my gut but I had an icky feeling in my pants. To make matters worse, it didn’t take long for the smell to emanate around the enclosed room. Of course the first to smell it was Peter who also couldn’t help noticing the new brown bulge in my underwear.


“Oh my god! You are so disgusting!” As Peter said this, he grabbed his nose and looked as if he might puke. And as his friends looked at him, as they hadn’t yet noticed, his face turned green. “He shit himself! The Baby actually shit himself!” You know, if it hadn’t been for the fact that I was highly embarrassed at that moment and also pretty sick at the idea of a bunch of poop in the back of my underwear, I might have been pretty happy maybe even proud of disgusting Peter like that. Any day I can make him come close to throwing up, would be a good day for me!


He was about to say more when another boy quickly entered the room.


“Hurry, Kip is coming.” The boy informed Peter, then he, along with the other boys, slipped out of the room.


Peter quickly undid my gag and AJ undid his own since the guys that were holding him down had fled the room. It was about then that Kip had entered the room and surveyed the scene before him


 “Is there something going on in here guys that I need to know about?” He asked us, though he seemed to be presenting the question to us more then to Peter.


Peter smiled at Kip and then clapped me on the shoulder friendly-like “I was just welcoming the new kid here and telling him that I am here as his friend and I will see him later as it is of course lights out now.” Peter then winked at me and walked out of the room.


Kip looked at his back as if he was trying to figure out if he was up to something; it was then that he seemed to notice something.


“Did someone poop their pants?” As his voice boomed from this question, I looked guiltily at the floor. “I see. Well Ben, you better get cleaned up real quick and then get to bed as it is lights out now.” I nodded my head to let him know that I heard him and understood.


“Can I take a quick shower please?” I was hoping he would allow it as I really didn’t think I could easily clean the poop off any other way.


“I insist that you do!” And kip waved his hand in front his face. “Do me a favor, please empty your underwear into the toilet then wash them out in the shower. In the morning bring them down to the Laundry with your wet things.” Before I could say anything, Kip made his escape from my room; I guess the smell really was bothering him.


When I returned to the room after my shower, I found that Kip was once again there talking with AJ. I also was grateful that the smell of my poop accident no longer lingered in the room. In fact, even AJ’s bedwetting stink seemed to be less noticeable. It seemed that while I was in the shower cleaning up, that someone had been deodorizing our room so that we wouldn’t have to be smelling my crap for the next few days. Anyway, it seemed that AJ and Kip were talking about Peter.


“Kip, I really don’t like that guy. He really bugs me and I think he has it out for Ben here.” AJ scowled as I put my underwear in a corner of the room to be taken to the laundry tomorrow.


“You know rules here AJ. Peter hasn’t done anything to either of you has he?”


I considered telling Kip about what Peter had just did but I found it embarrassing and I just really didn’t want to go into all of that right now. So instead I kept my mouth shut and shook my head no. I could tell that AJ really wanted to tell the truth but luckily he seemed to know that I was really embarrassed and did not want to go into it all.  So he did not say anything either.


“Then that of course means we can’t punish him for something he hasn’t done. Remember, Peter is mostly just talk anyway. He just likes to act big in front of his buddies.”


“Okay, but I hope you are right as I really am worried about him. I mean you heard him, he threatened to come back later.” AJ reminded Kip of what Peter had stated as he left.


“I am not sure about that AJ. But I will tell you what, we will keep an eye out and make sure he doesn’t bother you guys.”


AJ didn’t seem too thrilled with this promise but it was all we could get so we took it. Of course it was the same promise I was given from Mrs. Betty earlier that day. I just hope that it worked and they were able to keep Peter away from us.


“Okay boys, it is way past bed time, so get your little butts in bed and close those little peepers of yours.” I had just finished getting into my pajamas by this time and crawled into the bottom bunk. Once I was in bed, Kip shut off the light as AJ was already up in the top bunk. Since he was here before me he got to call first dibs on the top bunk. “Goodnight boys, I will see you tomorrow.” And with that he shut the door and went off to do whatever it is that he does.


For the next half hour AJ and I talked but it turned out that I was more tired than I thought; I don’t even remember falling asleep. And I might have stayed asleep for the rest of the night if it hadn’t been for Peter.




“Hey quiet guys.” I heard a quiet mumbling noise followed by some snorting laughter. “He’s soaked!” My mind was still half asleep so I was having a hard time trying to place these voices I was hearing. I wasn’t even sure if they were even real. Suddenly a loud booming voice scared the living shit out of me. Figuratively that is.


“What in the world are you boys doing in here?” Boomed the familiar and scary voice.


I was no longer partially asleep. I was now fully awake and screaming my lungs out. I was also again freely peeing myself as I could feel the warm pee puddle underneath me. Of course my scream pretty much woke up everyone and that led to a lot of very angry and upset boys! I was sure by morning that they wouldn’t be upset at the one who started it, who by the way was Peter. Instead, I was sure it would be me that would become the blame of it all.


It took several minutes for Kip to calm me down and when he finally did, he was not a very happy camper. I am sure he was glad his shift was about over with.


First he turned his attention onto Peter and his 2 friends who had been in our room. “Boys, tomorrow you will be seeing Mrs. Betty. I will be letting her know about everything.” He then growled. “Now get your butts back to bed!” He then apologized to everyone else and tried to explain what had happened. He then asked everyone to please go back to bed. When everyone else was taken care of, he helped me strip my wet bed and helped me carry my wet stuff including my crapped in underwear from earlier down to the laundry. Once there, I helped him load the stuff into the washers and got them started. Because I needed clean sheets he took me to get some. Finally, he helped me remake my bed. With my bed remade and me in my other PJ’s, he tucked me in.


I thought I wasn’t going to be able to get back to sleep but somehow sleep managed to find me.




Fear though hung over me and I am sure it had something to do with how I was awakened this time. The nightmares had tortured me and gripped me in paralyzing fear. At one point I had been hit with a nightmare so bad that I was sure it was what woke me up screaming. This time at least it wasn’t as loud as earlier and I didn’t wake up the whole house. I did wake up AJ though. At least this time it didn’t take as long for me to calm down. I also couldn’t help noticing the familiar wetness beneath me.


“Damn!” I cursed loudly.


“Come on man! What’s wrong now?” AJ grumbled. I couldn’t blame him either. I too would be upset being woken up like this. Before I could reply though, AJ jumped out of bed and made a beeline for the door. “Well at least you are good for one thing…” He quickly let me know as he dashed out of the room before he could even tell me what I am good for.


AJ was in such a hurry that he forgot to shut the door behind him, leaving our room exposed to the open hallway. A part of me was a little upset at this as I was laying there exposed in a very wet peed bed. The last thing I wanted was someone to go by our room and maybe smell what I did in my bed. Luckily though, no one came by and a few minutes later AJ returned and shut the door behind him.


“Boy that was close!” AJ announced as he got back in his bunk. “If you hadn’t woken me up, I would’ve wet my bed for sure!”


“Boy! Good for him!” I sarcastically thought to myself. Out loud I said, “Sorry man, I didn’t mean to wake you again, but it is good that it kept you from wetting.”


For the next several minutes I laid there wondering what I was going to do. For a moment I considered just going back to sleep and dealing with it in the morning. As a kid I had done that many times as I had no other choice. But I was no longer a kid, no matter how much a kid I looked like. Still, I didn’t want to keep AJ awake any longer than I had to.


“You’re wet down there aren’t you?” I was shocked when AJ said this out of the blue. I should have realized he was going to smell it. “Don’t be embarrassed, remember I wet the bed too and even though I am use to a wet bed smell, your pee smell is a little stronger.” Of course I wanted to disagree with him on this but I chose not to. “Kevin is on duty now, go ahead and let him know.”


“Um, can you go and get him for me?” I begged AJ.


I was really embarrassed at that moment and I didn’t have any clean pajamas to put on. On top of all that, this Kevin was someone that I never met and the last thing I wanted to do was meet this person for the first time in dripping peed pajamas, letting him know that I wet the bed.


“Alright, I will go and get him while you get cleaned up.” And as AJ went to get Kevin’s help, I got up, turned on the light, stripped out of my wet things, and put everything on my wet bed.


Naked, I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me. Once again I headed to the bathroom to get another shower. You know, as many times that I have been in that shower, you would think by now that I would have noticed a few things but so far I had missed them completely. That is until this particular time. I don’t know why this time I noticed and none of the other times I didn’t, just that I didn’t. What did I notice you may be asking, simple; it was the fact that while the bathroom had private bathroom stalls for taking a dump and dividers between urinals. The shower room was completely open. It was a large room with four showers on each side for a total of 8. So far I had been lucky to have it all to myself but I realized I would sooner or later have to share it with the other boys. I wasn’t sure if I really liked this idea. The last time I had to do this was back in the Jr High gym and that time didn’t really go too great for me.


By the time I reentered my room, AJ was helping Kevin remake my bed. My wet things were shoved into another plastic bag and sitting next to the bed. The sheets appeared to be the ones we put in the wash earlier that night. Someone must have stuck the stuff into the dryer at some point. This also meant that my other PJ’s were also washed so I was able to put those on as well. As soon as the bed was made AJ got back in bed as I was going to follow Kevin down to the laundry room to help him put my wet things into the laundry. Before leaving the bedroom Kevin said goodnight AJ and turned off the light and closed our door.




We were on our way back up to my room when Kevin stopped me before I started to climb the stairs. At first I thought he was going to yell at me or something for making him do all this work, but instead I saw compassion in his eyes.


“I am not really supposed to be doing this and could lose my job for even suggesting it…” And as Kevin said this he led me over to a locked closet which was near the staircase. He removed a key and unlocked it. I watched as he reached in and removed something from a top shelf. “…But I really think you would sleep better if you were to use this for the rest of the night. Of course it will be your decision to use it or not.”


As Kevin handed me the item, I suddenly realized what it was that I held in my hand… It was a GoodNite!



Chapter 11


I wasn’t sure what to think as I stared at what was just a glorified diaper in my hand. Part of me wanted to throw the babyish and humiliating thing as far away from me as I could. Another part, the rational part, knew that I needed to get my sleep. This was definitely better, rather than continuing the night, the way I had been. At the current rate, neither I, nor AJ were going to get any sleep tonight, if I chose not to wear the diaper for protection!


There was also a very deep down part of me that I wanted to ignore, that found the whole diaper thing intriguing. I tried my best to do this and refused to even acknowledge these thoughts to myself, but I was failing. No matter how much I tried, a fraction of them somehow remained. It was like one of those Trojan viruses that infect your computer. Once they get inside your hard drive, they are almost impossible to get rid of! Anyway, I did my best to banish these thoughts from my conscious mind, and believed I won that battle, for the moment at least.


“Are you okay Ben?” Kevin asked worriedly. “I promise you it will help you sleep better.”


I glanced up, breaking out of my daze. He was right and I knew that ultimately I was going to wear that diaper. Still I was finding it a little hard to accept at the moment, and needed a second to breathe.


“Okay.” I sighed after a moment. “You make a good point.” I agreed sheepishly.


Kevin, seeing my hesitancy, jumped to conclusions. “Now don’t get me wrong. I am not trying to tell you that you have to do this. I am just trying to give you another option.” he explained in a calm, friendly, manner.


“I know… I understand.” I smiled back at him, so that he knew that I meant it.


I did mean it too. It wasn’t Kevin that I was upset with; it was my failure to control my own bodily functions that I was upset about. This meant that I was more upset with myself than anything else. I was upset that I had so many accidents tonight and that my accidents were creating repeated disturbances and problems. I also didn’t want Kevin thinking that I was upset with him or his suggestion for me to wear a diaper.


“Thank you Kevin…” I thanked him as I nervously took the diaper, holding it up to look at it. “…for helping tonight and for giving me this. I promise I won’t tell anyone that you suggested it. If anyone says anything, I assume it will be okay for me to tell them that I asked you for protection?”


Kevin smiled as he realized how quickly I caught on to how things worked. Of course he didn’t realize that I was an adult in a little boy’s body.


“Yes, that would be perfect. In fact I will leave it in my report tonight that you woke up wet again and requested protection in order to be able to get through the night. The report will include that I offered you a GoodNite and that you took it. This way, at lights out time tomorrow night, you should be offered a GoodNite before you go up to bed.”


Now that sounded like a plan; as long as the GoodNite was offered in private and not around anyone else. Well maybe it wouldn’t be a big deal if AJ saw it; anyway he was probably going to know eventually, as he was my roommate. In fact, maybe I could talk him into wearing them too, so that our room wouldn’t smell so bad.


There was a moment of awkwardness that was growing between us and I could see it spreading on Kevin’s face.


“Well… I will let you go back to bed. Hopefully the rest of the night will be more restful for you.” Then after affectionately squeezing my shoulder, Kevin turned and headed towards the office.


I wasn’t sure what to think about Kevin’s behavior, it was as if he was afraid that if he stayed around me any longer, that it might be looked at as wrong somehow. I couldn’t blame him either with the way things are in this day and age. Anyway, I understood that he was trying to be my friend as much as he could, at least when it came to something as taboo a topic as bedwetting! Of course with that he had to be very careful with how he proceeded.


“Well I better get to bed, it’s late and I feel like I haven’t slept at all.” I thought as I climbed the stairs and headed to my room.


Everything seemed quiet as I passed the other rooms on the way to my own. I couldn’t help wondering if AJ and I were truly the only 2 bedwetters at the home. I knew I wasn’t the only new boy to arrive; there had been 3 other arrivals as well and troubled homes, troubled kids, and bedwetting go together. It was possible that any one of these boys could be bedwetters. Since I had spent most of the evening shut up in the room with AJ, the only time I even seen the new boys was at dinner and I really didn’t pay much attention to them then either. In fact, I didn’t know much about any of the boys here at the home. That is except for AJ, my roommate; and I guess I would have to say Peter, since I had the misfortune to forcefully make his acquaintance.


As quietly as I could, I opened the door of our bedroom. The room was dark, but there was enough light coming from the hallway to light up the room and I was able to see that AJ was back in the top bunk. Quietly I approached, I wanted to find out if he was still awake or not. I guess I was still a little embarrassed with the diaper thing and wanted to make sure if he was asleep or not. I know what I had thought earlier, and I know that in the end, discovery would be the case, but for tonight, I just wanted to do this privately. I guess I could go to the bathroom and put it on there, but then, I figured that it would be just as easy to do it here in my room if AJ was asleep and not run the risk of another boy getting up to pee and finding out, while I was in there putting it on.


I climbed the ladder to the upper bunk and hovered there, studying AJ, and trying to figure out if he was indeed asleep.


He was out! Relieved I climbed down the ladder, went over and shut our door, putting our room into total darkness. Since I didn’t want to wake AJ up, I decided to change into the GoodNite without turning on the light. I stripped out of my pajama bottoms and underwear and then opened up the GoodNite. Then as if it were a pair of underwear, I slipped it on one leg at a time. The thick padding felt weird between my legs as I pulled up the diaper. The sensation grew as I pulled it up over my butt and groin. It had been a long time since I had worn a diaper, so long in fact, that I completely forgotten what it felt like. Strangely, I was finding that I was enjoying this sensation, which freaked me out a little. Those earlier thoughts were once again growing inside me.


“Get a hold of yourself Ben!” I silently scolded myself. “Now get those pajama bottoms back on and get in bed!” I continued my self-scolding as I quickly pulled my pajama bottoms on overtop of the diaper and crawled back in the bottom bunk.


Earlier I was feeling exhausted and only wanted desperately to get back in bed so I could go back to sleep. Suddenly though, my mind seemed to be awake. I was still very sleepy, but it was as if I had been given a very strong stimulant, and no matter how tired, I thought my racing mind was not going to allow me to go to sleep for quite a while. But even though I was all wound up over the diaper thing, sleep overtook me quicker than I expected, and minutes after crawling into bed, I was once again in Never-never Land.


I am not so sure why my dreams were so messed up, as I don’t remember having such bad dreams when I was a kid before. Yeah occasionally after watching a scary movie I might have one but nothing like this. The only thing I could think of is that this has to be a product of me being turned unnaturally into a kid again. At least these dreams didn’t seem as bad as they were earlier that night. If it was because of the diaper, only time could tell. At least for the most part, I slept for the rest of the night; in fact, AJ had to practically drag me out of bed the next morning.


“Boy Ben, I don’t know what kind of dream you were having, but you were really moaning along with tossing and turning like crazy!” AJ explained, once he finally woke me.


“I’m sorry Ben. I guess I was having another nightmare.” I yawned as I sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from my eyes.


“Well at least you were dry the rest of the night.” AJ announced happily when he saw my bed.


This only reminded me of the GoodNite that Kevin had given me last night, and from the feeling of the bloated bulge between my legs, it felt like the GoodNite had swollen to the point of almost bursting. In fact, I started to wonder as I got up and felt the heaviness of the GoodNite, if it would make it through a full night without leaking. I had only worn this one for just part of the night, and I had flooded it to the point of almost explosion. In fact, I was now almost certain that a single GoodNite would not make it through a full night in one piece on my little bottom. I would either have to get up and change at some point, and hope that I caught it before any leaks, or I would have to wear something better suited for the night time protection I clearly needed. As I was thinking about all of this, the heaviness of the GoodNite caused it to droop in my pajamas, making it very evident to AJ as I stood there, that I was wearing a diaper.


“Whoa… Are you wearing what I think you are wearing?!” AJ asked in amazement.


Of course when he saw how his question affected me he quickly tried to rephrase what he had said.


“I mean… Uh”


Of course I could tell he had no clue what to say.


“Damn it, I didn’t mean to upset you Ben. I guess it was a good idea that you did wear that after all, at least the bed remained dry for the rest of the night.”


AJ was trying his best to make me feel better about my situation, and at least now that he knew, I felt better. It was like I had a weight off of my chest. Like I said, I didn’t want any of the other boys here at the home to know, but I knew that sooner or later, that AJ would have found out anyway. It was nice to finally have that out of the way, and the pressure was now off of me, to somehow broach the subject with him.


AJ, putting on a pair of jeans, gave me a look of concern. “Ben, we need to hurry. It is almost breakfast time and as you found out, it is important that you are not late to the meals around here.” He tried to urge me to pick up my pace.


Realizing he was right, I started to take off my pajamas, and as soon as I removed my bottoms, the GoodNite, with nothing holding it up anymore, fell straight to the floor making a loud flop. AJ saw this and busted up laughing.


“Yeah, laugh it up Heckle. If you don’t watch out, you will soon find out what happened to Jeckle.” I threatened.


Of course I keep forgetting how outdated my references are.


“Huh? What do you mean?” AJ asked as he looked at me strangely.


For a moment I considered trying to explain to him all about the cartoon show Heckle and Jeckle, the talking comedic crows, created by Paul Terry. Of course the more I thought about it, the more I realized it would be an effort of futility. After all, it was way before his time.


“Uh… Never mind. I am going to go get a shower.” I grabbed my towel and after wrapping it around my waist, I headed out of the room to the bathroom.


As I was beginning to realize last night, I found that I was not going to have the showers all to myself as I have been having. In fact, they were all in use and I had to wait my turn for one to come available. Of course I wasn’t looking forward to showering in front of everyone else but I didn’t want to smell like piss all day either. There were 2 other guys in front of me, so I had a short wait, but luckily things moved pretty quickly and soon I found myself soaping up trying to clean away all the pee smell from my body.


“So Ben, how many showers does that make for you in the last few hours…” I thought to myself as I rinsed the soap away. To be honest, for the moment I couldn’t remember, I just knew it had been a lot.


As I washed myself, I couldn’t help noticing that there was a boy that was watching me intently. I don’t why, but for some reason this bugged me, I guess it was mostly due to the fact that I didn’t like the idea of showering in front of several people, I preferred showering alone in private. Whatever it was, this kid staring at me just got under my skin and angered me. Now in reality, only mere split seconds had gone by, but in my head, it seemed like hours that this kid had been staring at me. In anger, I glared back at him but still he continued to look at me, and that was when I responded, and gave him the finger.


“Take a picture, it will last longer.” One of the other boys teased the boy staring at me.


“We got ourselves a fag!” Another one shouted out so that everyone in the bathroom could hear. “Someone go tell Peter, he is going love this!”


I actually suddenly started to feel bad for the kid when the other boys started to snap him with their towels and torment him. Also I couldn’t help feeling bad for what Peter would put him through. All because he just happened to look over in my direction. For all I knew, he may have just wanted to talk to me. Of course people just love to jump to cruel conclusions, especially kids! For that matter, I myself also jumped to that conclusion as well and suddenly, I felt awful for my part in the whole mess now playing out before me. Flipping off this kid just because he looked in my direction was just as bad if not worse than what the other boys were doing now. I was an adult who knew better… or should at least know better. I suddenly felt ashamed of myself and my actions and wished I could somehow go back and stop myself from flipping him off. In fact I am sure it was my actions that garnered the attention of the other boys in the first place and if I never flipped him off they may have never even noticed him and this would not be happening now! This was all my fault!


As much as I wanted to go and help him, I reminded myself of my current predicament. I was smaller than most of the boys there, including the one they were ganging up on. Also, the last thing I wanted was to be around when Peter showed up. So instead I quickly took off towards my room, wrapping the towel around me on my way. I didn’t even bother to waste time drying off. I felt really bad leaving like that when I felt I started it, but I knew there was nothing I could do now to stop it. Truthfully though, I allowed fear to control me at that moment, so please don’t judge me too harshly.


Entering our room, I expected it to be empty as AJ was about dressed when I had left; instead, I found him at his desk waiting for me.


“Man, you’re dripping all over the floor!” He complained though it didn’t look like he was really that upset about it.


“Sorry, I had to make a quick getaway so I didn’t get a chance to dry off.” I explained as I shut the door to our room and began to finally dry myself.


“Did Peter threaten you again?” AJ looked irritated as he asked this and I could see how much resentment he had for Peter. “I wish I could show him how it feels to be in our place when he picks on us!”


“No, Peter didn’t threaten me. Actually some other boy was the target, I was just afraid of being around when the shit hit the fan is all.”


“Yah… what happened?”


Now for a moment I considered not telling AJ about what happened in the bathroom but then I figured that it would most likely be all over by lunch time so I went ahead and decided to tell him after all. I quickly explained to him everything that happened in the bathroom and after a moment of thought, AJ agreed with me.


“Yeah you were right; you did not want to be there when Peter got there or worse, when one of the adults ended up there.” AJ just nodded as if agreeing with himself. “The guys here are cruel, so a word to the wise; as you already seen, don’t get caught ever looking at any of the guys junk around here, unless you want to be labeled as gay.” AJ warned me.


Hearing what AJ said made me wonder if he was homophobic. “AJ, you don’t have anything against gays do you?” I hesitantly asked.


“Do you want me to be honest?” AJ looked at me with a look of puzzled bewilderment.


“Of course I do.”


“I really don’t know what to think. Some of the places I have lived, raised me to believe that it was a sin to be gay and other places said that being gay was just being true to being who you are. Still, I’m just not sure. I keep hearing each side’s argument and they both sound right. Therefore, how do I choose a side?” AJ proclaimed in a state of total confusion.


With AJ’s answer I had almost forgotten my question. To be honest, I don’t think he quite understood what I was asking him. I mean, I wasn’t trying to get a detailed response to his feelings towards the gay and lesbian lifestyle. All I wanted was to know if he was homophobic person.


“Hey, you better hurry and get dressed or were going to be late.” AJ announced as he checked a cheap watch on his wrist.


“You can go on without me. I will be there in a few minutes.” I told him as I was pulling on the underwear that I’d left on the floor last night.


He got up and it looked like he was going to leave like I suggested, but instead he turned and walked over to our bunk beds. I was amazed as he made my bed for me while I finished getting dressed for the day. This kid was surprising me more and more every day. I could not believe why anyone didn’t want him! So far I had only been around him for less than a day and I already knew that he was better than most of the boys here.


“Thanks helping me with my bed.” I said appreciatively as we shut the door behind us and made our way to the dining room.


“No problem, I just wanted to help so that you wouldn’t be late and get in trouble. Besides, what are friends for?” Then as we started to pass the bathroom, AJ stopped. “Maybe you should take a quick bathroom break just in case. I think I will too.” And with that AJ walked into the still busy bathroom.


He was right, so I followed. Several boys were still trying to get last minute showers and were doing things like brushing their teeth and hair. A few were using the toilets. Fortunately there were urinals available, soon I was feeling the great relief one has when you release your urine filled bladder. “Ahhhhhh!” I realized as I stood there and peed in the urinal, that if I hadn’t done this, I would have most likely peed my pants during breakfast. I had AJ to thank for keeping my pants dry from at least one possible accident. Hopefully I can find a way to keep them dry in the future, and then a thought occurred to me…


“You have a way already to keep your pants dry and your dignity intact. All you have to do is talk to Mrs. Betty when she gets in and see if she will let you wear GoodNites during the day so that way if you do have an accident it will keep your pants dry. Also it will also allow you to be able to use the toilet if you need to.” I thought to myself as I shook the last few drops off then zipped up my pants.


After I washed my hands I found AJ waiting for me in the hall talking to one of the other boys.


“Hey Ben, this is Brian; he was telling me about the boy you were talking about this morning. He said his name was Steven and that he got here sometime real early this morning.” AJ introduced me and tried to explain what they were talking about.


Brian looked at us both all excited. “Yeah, according to the rumor, he got here early this morning and that someone from the police department brought him down here.”


This interested me as I too had been brought here by the police. I couldn’t help wondering if Steven was in trouble with the law as well. Now I am sure he wasn’t an adult trapped in a boy’s body but the coincidence of the police thing made me wonder. Still I was pretty sure this was not the case. Then again, curiosity got me.


“Do you know any more about him? Like where he is from? Does he have any family? How old he is? Anything like that?” I asked in an almost begging tone, like that of the little kid I looked like.


“Sorry, I don’t know much. All I know is that his name is Steven and he is 12 years old. That he is in some sort of trouble with the law and that due to the fact that the home is currently full, he will most likely get moved later today. This is all I know. Sorry.” Brian apologized again. “Anyway, I am outa here. See you at breakfast.” That said, he ran down the hall and into one of the rooms.


“Wow AJ, I thought we were running late but it looks like almost everyone else is running late too.” I stated as we continued our way towards the dining room.


I wasn’t surprised at all to find the breakfast table almost empty when we arrived. Only 4 others besides the adults were there. According to the time there were only 5 more minutes before breakfast started and everyone who wasn’t there would be officially late. Even AJ seemed to be a little confused by everyone’s tardiness.


“Jerry I am sorry that the other guys aren’t here yet but if you give them a few more minutes I am sure they will all be here by then.” AJ tried to make excuses for the other boys when breakfast time officially came and went and only a handful of them had shown up. There were only a total of 9 boys, counting myself and the new boy Steven; that made it to breakfast on time.


“Don’t worry AJ, the boys missing from breakfast this morning are not expected. Well, all except for 1 slow poke but I will let him slide.” And at that moment, Brian rushed into the dining room and took his seat at the breakfast table.


“I suppose you are not going to tell us why the others aren’t here?” AJ asked.


Jerry just smiled. “You nailed that one right on the nose.”


6 boys for some inexplicable reason did not make it for breakfast, nor were they seen all morning long. Anytime anyone asked about them, we were told to mind our own business and that the boys would be back before dinner that evening. Of course it didn’t take a mind reader to figure things out in the end. All it needed was some detective work, a little brains, and knowing who to ask. For instance, to start off with; we noticed that most of the missing boys were Peter and his gang of thugs. A couple other boys missing were ones that I had been showering with that morning; the ones that started the whole gay thing. From there we were able to start deducing what must have happened, and that led us to Steven. Now he at first didn’t want to risk or saying anything for fear of getting into trouble himself and he really didn’t trust me, and I couldn’t blame him either. I was after all the kid who flipped him off in the shower. In fact now thinking about it, I am amazed I wasn’t in trouble as well, along with the rest of the boys who picked on him this morning. I decided he was long overdue an apology.


“Hey Steven, I am really sorry for this morning. I acted like a jerk and I had no reason to flip you off like that. I am terribly sorry and I hope you will forgive me for how I acted towards you.” I told him with true sincerity.


Steven at first seemed to be taken back by my apology and I was afraid he was going to reject it, and again, I wouldn’t blame him. Then a smile broke out on his face and when he held out his hand in friendship, I knew, I was forgiven. A part of me felt I should have not been forgiven so easily, but I was relieved and happy to be so.


Now friends, we were able to gain Steven’s trust and he told us everything. Or at least what he knew, which unfortunately was not much.


“I guess not long after you had left, the boy called Peter showed up with several of his friends. They started to heckle me terribly. Some of the other boys joined in. Soon they were hitting me with their towels and throwing wads of toilet paper at me. The humiliation continued to escalate until Jerry heard all of the ruckus and came to find out what was going on. When he realized what they were doing to me, he put a stop to it immediately. He then asked them why they were doing all of this, and when he heard their reply he got very angry and told me to go and finish getting ready. I heard him tell the boys to get dressed and be in the office in 5 minutes or else! And that is all I know.” Steven explained.


From what we gathered, Jerry was so upset with the 6 boys that he sent them somewhere for the day as some sort of punishment. As to where, no one we asked knew the answer.


My plan was to originally talk to Mrs. Betty this morning but unfortunately, she never showed up at all, that morning.


AJ and I kind of took Steven under our wing since he had nowhere else to hang officially at the home. He didn’t even know where he would be by the end of the day. Like the day before, we spent most of our time hiding in our room; that is after we concluded our investigation which actually was wrapped up pretty quickly.


At one point that morning, while we were all in our room talking, I tried to ask Steven about how he ended here, and when he looked he was about to cry AJ gave me a look and I new immediately what it meant. I could tell he would bust me one if I didn’t drop it right then and there.


AJ then changed the subject and soon it was as if I had never mentioned it. Of course I couldn’t help wondering what Steven’s story was and hoped that maybe he would feel comfortable enough to tell us. Then again, he may not even be with us much longer and I would never know. That bit of not knowing was driving me nuts. I kept telling myself that it was not possible that he had nothing to do with Mike, but for some reason that little seed of doubt was still there and because of that, I just needed know his story. My only hope was that he would tell us before he left. For now, I did my best to make him feel comfortable.


As it got near noon I was told that Mrs. Betty would be here sometime after lunch, so I was looking forward to seeing her soon afterwards. I guess that might be why my mind was not paying attention to what it should have been.


It was Steven who first noticed my lack of control as we got up to go to lunch. “Whoa there bud, but you might want to do something about that.”


Naturally I looked down towards where he was pointing, but I already knew what had happened. For some reason though, it was as if my mind was needing that physical visual evidence for proof, and of course as I looked down, there was a growing wet patch.


“If only someone had said something to have reminded me a few minutes earlier, I could have prevented this; now Steven knows I am a pantswetter!” I thought to myself, and humiliated once again, I broke down crying in embarrassing shame!



Chapter 12


“Hey there little guy, you don’t have to worry about me making fun of you.” Steven assured me while putting his arm around me in a friendly gesture. “You know, you never did ask me why I was looking at you in the shower this morning.”


I knew that Steven’s out of the blue mentioning of what happened this morning now, was only meant as a distraction; still I was curious as to where this was going. I mean, was it possible that he was actually gay after all?


“Are you telling me that you really were checking out my goods?” I asked him suspiciously as I tried to wipe the tears from my face with my hands.


At that moment, I wasn’t sure if I should be angry with Steven or proud that at least this childlike body had something worth looking at.


“Naw, I’m not gay! Promise not to get upset?” At this I nodded my head and he took that as an okay to continue. “Okay… well… I just happen to notice that while you were showering that you started peeing, but unlike must guys who do that in the shower, you didn’t even notice it, not even when you saw me staring at you.” He explained nodding his head as he saw that I finally understood the full implication of what could have happened this morning.


My face burned bright red with embarrassment as I realized how right Steven was. Things could have been much worse and somehow I had been very lucky that no one other than Steven had noticed what had happened!


“Wow! You’re right; I didn’t notice that at all and I am glad no one else noticed either.” As I said this, I felt my stomach gurgle a little. “Thank you for not telling anyone.”


I wasn’t sure what else to say to him as I continued to be astounded by what I had done in front of all those guys and how luckily not one of them noticed. Not only that, I had peed myself uncontrollably in front of Steven, I just hadn’t had any clothes on at the time. The best luck though that I realized I had, was to be somehow lucky enough to end up with 2 very understanding friends. I am not sure how long I will have to be a kid this time around but unlike the first time around where I didn’t really have any friends, this time I at least had 2 good ones that I hoped to keep until I figured my way out of this mess I was in. It didn’t even matter to me how young they were. Of course Steven was most likely leaving that afternoon, so my friend count was probably going to go back down to 1 but for now, I had 2.


There was one thing though that was bothering me. I looked to these kids to be about 8 or 9 and they are 11 and 12. Normally older kids like them don’t play/spend time with kids that are 8 or 9, so why would they take the time to be my friend and do things with me? Of course, I did know why AJ was so understanding, as we had something in common; he shared my bedwetting problem. The question remained, why was Steven so understanding, was it possible that he also was a bedwetter?


“Steven, I know you really don’t want to answer any personal questions right now but there is one that I really want to know the answer to as it is driving me nuts. Would it be okay to ask you?” I asked hoping it would be OK and maybe I could finally find out if he was a bedwetter.


Before Steven could answer though, AJ intervened. “Ben, please let’s just let Steven tell us in his own time. Stop trying to press him on his personal life. Besides, you need to hurry and get cleaned up as it will be lunch time soon and then you won’t have the privacy in the bathroom as the other guys will be getting cleaned up before heading down to the dining room.”


I really wanted to say something in my defense and get back to the question I wanted to ask, but a look from AJ stopped me cold in my tracks. It was a look I recognized from someone like Peter but not from AJ, but still he was able to scare me quiet with that one look!


Upset, wet, and smelling of my own piss; I decided to once again take a shower. This was my 2nd shower for the day and if anything like the day before, just one of many. Instead of doing the normal stripping down in the room, I grabbed my towel and stomped out and down the hall. As I headed to the bathroom my stomach again gurgled. As I was angry, I didn’t think too much about it, instead, I continued on to the bathroom where I stripped and showered.


I had just finished drying off and was about to head back to the bedroom when once again my belly gurgled, this time it was much louder and longer and as the gurgle ended I wasn’t feeling too swift. I could feel pressure building in my gut and I doubled over as a cramp hit me! Knowing what was about to happened I staggered up and rushed to the toilet. You know, there is one good thing about being naked… no clothes to frantically pull off. All I had to do was plop my butt down on the seat and no sooner had I done so, than an explosion occurred.  Like an upside down volcano, I erupted into the toilet. It hit the water with the force of a nuclear bomb, causing the dirty water to splash back up onto my exposed butt and gross me out. For the next 5 minutes, I was stuck to that seat as wave after wave hit, then poured out of me. Each time it seemed, I continued to get shitty water splashed back up on my ass. When the cramping and diarrhea finally did cease, my butt was so messy that I decided to jump back into the shower, where I once again cleaned myself.


“Boy, took you long enough!” AJ announced as I walked into our room.


I really had no intention of answering AJ at the moment. I was still angry with him and would have loved to have made him grovel for my attention. Besides the last thing I really wanted to talk to him about was my explosive diarrhea. I would have followed through with this plan too, but then I noticed that Steven was not in the room and wondered where he could have gone as I hadn’t passed him on my way back from the bathroom. Steven had been with us all morning and didn’t have a room of his own and would most likely not get one as he would be probably leaving after lunch for another home or facility. He also had no inclination to hang in any of our home’s common areas, so curiosity got the better of me.


Grabbing some clean clothes I started to get dressed, and ignoring AJ’s question, I asked, “Where’s Steven?”


AJ seemed a little annoyed that I blew off his question but answered mine anyway. “I guess Mrs. Betty is here now as she sent for him.”


“Finally some good news!” I thought and I quickened my pace so that I too could go and see Mrs. Betty as soon as she was available.


I had not expected her until after lunch so to be able to see her before would be a relief. It was my hope that the sooner that I got my diaper needs taken care of, the better off I would be. I realized she was probably still talking to Steven, but I hoped that they would finish up before lunch time, and I could get a couple minutes with her to get a GoodNite for protection before we ate.


“Why are you in such a rush?” AJ asked me with a frown.


“Boy, I can’t satisfy you one bit! You tell me I am to slow and try to get me to speed up and when I do, you question it!” I snapped at him as I quickly tied my shoes.


“It is just that I have never seen you move this fast and it makes me think you are up to something!” AJ stated suspiciously.


“Alright! Alright! I need to see Mrs. Betty too and now that I know she is here I want to hurry up and get down there and see her before lunch starts.” I explained hurriedly.


 AJ did not look happy when he heard my response. “She’s with Steven now and chances are she won’t be done with him until lunch time. You have an appointment with her after lunch and you can wait until then!” AJ informed me with irritation clearly heard in his voice. “And by the way, I have a bone to pick with you! Why do you keep insisting on trying to bring up Steven’s personal life? If he wants to tell us, he will!” The next thing AJ said actually hurt because it was true. “If you notice, I have not once asked you about your personal life. I have allowed you to take your time and if you want to tell me, you will in your own time! All I ask you to do, is to respect others by doing the same for them!”


AJ was right, my need to know about Steven was not as important as Steven’s right to his privacy. Maybe AJ was right about the Steven as well, and that he would feel comfortable enough around us at some point to tell his personal story. But how could I expect anyone to tell me their story when I couldn’t tell them my own … as they wouldn’t believe it if I did.


“You’re right AJ, I am being an ass, and I will apologize to Steven when I see him next, but I do need to try and see Mrs. Betty before lunch if I can.” I concluded, I then left the room before AJ could stop me.


AJ shouted something at me, but at that point I had tuned him out and was halfway down the hall and heading toward the stairs. For a moment, I thought he might try to come after me, but when I reached the stairs with no problem, I turned and found that he was nowhere in sight. He had obviously gone back into the room. I breathed a sigh of relief as I descended the staircase, as I really didn’t want to fight my friend.


Walking down the hall I soon found myself outside the closed office door. Now I am not sure if it was because Steven was upset and talking louder than normal, causing Mrs. Betty to respond in kind, or if it was just that easy to hear everything being said inside the office. I found this disturbing as I thought the office was a safe place to tell private matters that I wouldn’t want others to know. Now I could have left and given Steven his privacy but I had to speak to Mrs. Betty and I didn’t want to take the chance of missing her after she was done talking to Steven.


There were a couple of chairs placed outside the office, and I took a seat in one as I waited for Steven to come out. Though I was able to hear pretty much everything they were saying inside, I had arrived at the end of their conversation, and so I had missed a lot of what was said before I got there. What they were talking about now was about where he would stay until things were figured out. This of course was good news as it meant that Steven would be sticking around for a while.


“As you know, we are currently at our maximum capacity and theoretically haven’t any room for more boys due to State regulations.” I heard her explain to Steven. “It seems though that Father Caleb was able to somehow get a temporary exception from the State for you. So for now we will put up a cot for you in one of our rooms.”


Steven didn’t sound as thrilled upon hearing this news as I guess Mrs. Betty was hoping he would be.


“But I want to go live with my Uncle and his family!” He stated loudly but firmly.


“Steven, I know you want to be with your Uncle and Aunt, but as I already told you, until the State can locate them, you have to stay somewhere. I think here would be better than the other options the State has at the moment.” Mrs. Betty voice sounded as if she was trying to sooth him and help him see reason. “Hopefully, they will locate him quickly and then you can go and stay with them, but until then, I would like it if you would stay here with us.” Even though I couldn’t see her, I could almost picture Mrs. Betty smiling and offering her hand out to Steven in friendship.


Lowering his voice, Steven then said something unintelligible, that I couldn’t make out. It was followed by a chuckle from Mrs. Betty so I assumed that whatever he had said, she found slightly amusing.


Steven on the other hand didn’t seem to find it funny and hollered in rage. “I WASN’T TRYING TO BE FUNNY!”


“I am sorry Steven; I didn’t mean to upset you in anyway. I wasn’t laughing at you. I just found the way you said it amusing and never meant to be hurtful. I hope you understand that I am truly sorry for hurting your feelings.”


I guess he bought it as he calmed down a little but he still seemed a little upset.


“Okay, but I just don’t like being made fun of and that’s already happened once today!” He replied loudly.


“Yes, as I told you, I know about the incident and took care of it. I promise you that the boys responsible will not be bothering you again.”


 Mrs. Betty tried to reassure him but even I found this hard to believe. I heard Steven reply in a sarcastic tone but Mrs. Betty chose to ignore it.


“Since you will be staying with us for a while, later today, you will be issued clothing and bedding and other necessities for your stay here. We will also need to go over some personal data for our records. You have given us some already and I will be adding that to our files this afternoon. But we will also need some other information that we have yet to go over.”


The next thing that Steven said was at a lower volume so it was harder to make out but was still loud enough that I was just barely able to hear it.


“What other information do you need?” He asked in wary tone.


“Well for instance, we will need to know if you have any medical issues we should know about.”


When I heard Mrs. Betty ask this question, my ears perked up! Finally, maybe I was going to find out the answer to the question I wanted to know most about Steven… Well, hopefully that is! I decided that this was too important not to take chances of missing out on if they lower their voices, so I got up against the door and put my ear on it in hopes of not missing a word of what they said next. I knew I took the chance of someone coming by and catching me doing this as I am sure it would have got me in trouble if they would have told. Luckily no one came by. Listening at the door I wasn’t disappointed as I heard a very nervous Steven try his best to explain his health issue!


“Well… I… Uh… I’m a… God I hate having to tell people this!”


I could hear the unmistakable nervousness in Steven’s voice and I was now more than ever certain, that he was indeed a bedwetter. I mean, what else could explain all of the stumbling over his own words he was doing.


“I guess I just got to say it… I’m a bedwetter!” He finally got it out after several failed attempts; I think he even sounded relieved.


“BINGO!” I thought to myself as I smiled in victory of proving myself right.


“I see; well you don’t have to worry about that; you’re not the only one here with that problem.” Mrs. Betty explained.


For a moment I thought she was going to rat out AJ and me; of course if I had been thinking, I would have realized that he would have already figured out that I was a bedwetter after seeing me wetting uncontrollably twice in front of him. As an adult you would think I would be smarter than a normal kid, and not jump to conclusions, figuring things through logically. But of course at that moment I wasn’t thinking with logic, I was thinking like the kid I looked like. So you can see why I was surprised by what he said next.


“I know, I met Ben already.” I heard Steven say through the door and about fainted in embarrassment.


I am not sure if it was because of all the blood rushing to my head or if it was because they got quieter, but from this point, I found it harder to understand what they were saying. It was as if they knew I was out here listening to them and they were whispering on purpose. A few minutes later, the door opened up and out came Steven, who by the way almost freaked when he saw me standing there at the door.


“How long have you been standing there?” he panicked. “You didn’t hear me did you?”


“I just got here.” I lied and then gave him a curious look. “Hear you what?” I asked him with a serious face.


I guess this made him feel a little better as I saw him sigh with relief but that didn’t last that long. I could see doubt as it spread across his face and knew he did not believe me. I also knew that as soon as he got back upstairs and talked with AJ, he would know that I had been down there for longer then I said. Still at this moment, I preferred not to have a public argument.


“What are you doing here?” He asked accusingly?


“I came to see Mrs. Betty; I have to talk to her about a private matter.” I explained hoping that it would be enough to satisfy him. “So if you would excuse me, I will see you and AJ at lunch.”


He continued to look at me suspiciously as I passed him and entered Mrs. Betty’s office. I actually felt bad as I closed the office door; it was as if I was closing it in his face. I didn’t want Steven to feel upset over the possibility of me hearing what he and Mrs. Betty were talking about, but truth be known, I had heard and maybe it would be better to be upfront and honest about it. As I said, he was going to find out I was there longer then I already said I was. Right now though wasn’t the time. It was only a few minutes before lunch and I had a mission.


“Well hello Ben!” Mrs. Betty said with genuine kindness. “I hear you had a rough night.” This time I could hear true sympathy in her voice as she gestured toward one of the chairs in front of her desk.


“Yeah, I guess you can say that. In fact that is what I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to ask you about wearing protection from now on.” I spoke in almost a whisper as I took my seat.


“Oh don’t you worry about that dear, Kevin has already explained it in his report.” Mrs. Betty interrupted me. “Starting tonight, as long as it is authorized by your caseworker; we will make sure that from now on, you will have GoodNites to wear to bed.”


“Well that is just it Mrs. Betty, I don’t think a GoodNite will be good enough to get me through the night. The one Kevin gave me barely made it the few hours I wore it and if I had worn it the full night, it would have definitely leaked.” At this point I started to hesitate as I found the next part harder to say but I knew I had to do it. “I think I need something… Well… Something better than a GoodNite; something that I can get through the night with.” My face turned red with embarrassment as I finally choked out those words.


“I see what you mean.” Mrs. Betty nodded her head and gave me a look as if she were in deep thought. “We could purchase some disposable diapers I guess. The question is, would they be any better than the GoodNites? To be honest, I am not sure if they would be. It has been a while since we had a child that GoodNites were not able to handle their problem. But then those children were all on State Medicaid and the State provided disposable diapers for them. It is possible that the State may try and get you put on Medicaid as well, but that doesn’t always work out right away; so until then, it would be left up to us to provide protection for you. Now we do have a supply of cloth diapers and rubber pants that were donated to us several years ago and while we don’t use them regularly, we have used them from time to time, in temporary cases like yours. They would be able to get you through the night with no problem and with very little cost to the home. Again they would have to be approved by your caseworker but I don’t see a problem with that.”


This time unlike previously, Mrs. Betty did not sound as sure of herself as she had before.


I wasn’t sure what to think about this. Learning to put on a disposable diaper was one thing, but learning to put on cloth diapers would be pretty difficult. I also knew that they would have to be washed, and this would be hard to conceal. Still, it was better than having to get up numerous times to take a shower and change my sheets and pajamas all because of faulty protection. Plus without them, I would still have to do a lot of cleaning up the mess, which would be hard to hide.


It also hadn’t passed my attention that this was the 2nd time that I heard Mrs. Betty mentioning my caseworker.


“What is this about my caseworker?” I asked.


I was not sure what I was supposed to think about this new development. I guess you can say that it shows you how well I pay attention to things.


“Well before we can do certain things, like officially put you in diapers, we have to have your assigned caseworker’s permission to do so. Luckily, you got fast tracked and have been assigned one already. The person assigned will be here after lunch and will meet with you then. That is when we will get their permission for this along with a few other details. So, what about the cloth diapers?” From the way Mrs. Betty sounded here, it almost seemed like this might no longer be optional.


“Okay, if you promise that they are just temporary, I guess I will try the cloth diapers out, but I don’t know how to put them on.”


“As I said, I can’t promise you the State’s intentions. As for putting on the cloth diapers, don’t worry; we will take care of that for you.”


Now this was not something I was too happy about, but I quickly realized that I didn’t have much of a choice. I didn’t know how to put them on, and it only made sense to let them do it; at least until I could learn how to do it myself.


“So, who will be the one that will diaper me?” I asked as I was not sure if I wanted just anyone diapering me.


“Well, both Rhonda and Kip work again tonight, normally Rhonda would be the one who would do something like this but if you would feel more comfortable with Kip doing it, then I will ask him to do it instead.” Mrs. Betty offered.


To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I would be comfortable with either of them. The only women that have seen me naked recently were my wife and my lover. Add to that that, my body was now that of a prepubescent boy. The very last thing I wanted was some woman I really didn’t know seeing me naked. Now on the other hand, Kip scared the bejesus out of me. I know that I might be stereotyping him, but it is hard not to, when you look at how big and muscular he is. The fact he is black shouldn’t make a difference, but to a small white guy like me who always feared big black guys, it made a big difference. Still, Kip has gone out of his way to be my friend and I knew I needed to try and find a way to get past my fear. So with a gulp, I braced myself and gave Mrs. Betty my answer.


“I think it would be better if Kip could help me.” I said in a small tiny voice, which sounded very unsure of itself.


Mrs. Betty chuckled a little. “Okay Ben, I will make sure he takes care of you this evening. He will take care of it right before bedtime. From now on, either he or someone else will get you ready for bed. Every morning right before we wake everyone up, someone will come in and remove your diaper. Do you agree to this?” It was as if Mrs. Betty were now dictating terms.


“I agree but I also need one more thing.” I added.


Mrs. Betty raised her eye brows as if I was trying to pull a fast one on her. “Okay, what else do you need?” She asked warily.


“I need GoodNites for daytime use.” I kind of mumbled the last few words but Mrs. Betty was able to get the gist of it.


“I see. I heard you were having daytime accidents also. I guess you want to deal with those too. We could do cloth for day use as well.” She suggested.


“But then I won’t be able to poop in the toilet and I would be forced to use the diaper.” I complained, as I was afraid she might push for the cloth diapers for daytime anyway.


“I heard you pooped in your pants yesterday evening and I believe you had the opportunity to use the toilet all day.” Mrs. Betty’s words stung badly as she was partially right.


I had put off using the toilet, but I was pretty much forced to poop my pants by that jerk Peter. The thing was, as far as she could see I had only been there one day and so far I had already soiled myself like someone who couldn’t control themselves. I guess that didn’t make me look like I had very good bowel control. Shoot, I almost crapped all over the bathroom floor less than a half hour ago. That would have really made me look bad if I hadn’t made it to the toilet. As I said earlier, it was lucky that I was naked because if I had to take the time to pull down my pants, I would have soiled them. If that had happened, it would have definitely made me look like a pants pooper in Mrs. Betty’s eyes and I am sure no matter what I said she wouldn’t have believed me.


“I swear Mrs. Betty, that was an accident and that I don’t normally poop my pants!” As I swore to this, I used my new little kid charm, hoping to make her believe me. “I really just want something to keep my pants dry and to be able to still use the bathroom when I have to go.” I explained to her.


“Okay Ben, but if you find that you would rather be placed into the cloth diapers 24/7 while here, we would be okay with that. Of course this will all still have to be ultimately approved by your caseworker but as I stated, I don’t think that will be a problem.” Mrs. Betty explained in an understanding tone. She then changed subjects. “Ben, I also heard about this morning’s incident and I want you to know that the only reason you did not share in the other boy’s punishment is because I chose to let you slide this one time. I am giving you a break as you are new and that your actions while wrong and rude, were not as severe as were the other boys. Who knows, maybe if you had handled things differently this morning, events would have played out differently for Steven.” Her words stung with truth, though I was surprised that she was not as mad as I expected.


I expected her to lecture me more about my actions in this morning’s events but she instead seemed to be in thought. If I had been a little braver, I would have asked her at that time what had happened to the other boys that morning, as I had yet to see them return. But instead I just stood there, not saying a word waiting for her to still come down on me like a ton of bricks.


Instead she smiled at me. “Well it is lunch time; you should be going before you are late.”


“Can I get a GoodNite before lunch then?” I asked as I stood up from my seat in front of her desk. “I would like to have it on now in case I have an accident at lunch.” I asked sheepishly.


“I’m sorry Ben. Even though I agree with Kevin’s decision last night to allow you to wear protection, it is an exception that we are not allowed to make without approval. We have rules and regulations handed down by the State, which we have to abide by. I am sorry, but my hands are tied. We are going to be lucky if the State doesn’t fine us or worse for disregarding the rules for you last night.” Mrs. Betty actually seemed upset as she said all of this, which made me feel pretty bad as it was my fault.


“Can I do anything about it?” I asked, hoping that there was something… anything that I could do. “I could tell the caseworker that I asked for them and maybe they would understand if they knew how much trouble I had last night?” I asked, hoping that this might be enough to keep the home out of trouble.


“That is kind of you Ben, but I am afraid that won’t be enough. We should have gone through proper channels and we didn’t and that is all the State cares about when it comes to their rules and regulations. A lot of times, a caseworker will want a child to be seen by a pediatrician and a psychiatrist before they will even make a determination on whether or not they will be placed in diapers.”


Now this was new. Just a few moments ago Mrs. Betty had told me she thought I would be approved without a problem; now she is saying that I may have to see a doctor and a shrink before they would even consider approving me for diapers. I doubted they would be able to do all that for me today, so how was she going to be able to get me into cloth diapers by tonight? I guess she must have figured out what I was thinking by what she said next.


“Oh don’t worry Ben, they only do that for the boys that don’t want to wear diapers but obviously need them. They want to make sure that putting them in diapers isn’t more damaging to them then it is worth. For instance, a lot of the older boys that come through here that wet the bed don’t usually want to wear diapers, because of that, we have to sometimes decide on whether or not if it is best to go against their wishes if their wetting was serious enough to call for it. Now because it can be dealt with without diapers, a lot of times the caseworkers will chose to side with the boys after a thorough checkup. As I said, don’t worry; even though your caseworker will most likely have you see a doctor to make sure there is nothing physically wrong causing you to lose control of your bladder, I don’t see them refusing to allow you to wear protection in the mean time until you do.”


Mrs. Betty demeanor changed as she straightened herself in her chair. She then smiled and nodded her head at me and I could tell that it was her kind way of dismissing me.


I returned the nod and politely said goodbye before slipping out of her office. As I entered the hallway, I ran into a few of the older boys who were on their way to the dining room, so I joined them. Neither AJ nor Steven was in the group and all I could hope for was that they were already at the table. I quickly became concerned when it turned out, that they were not yet there, as it was getting close to the cut off time and they would be considered late.


“I hope they make it!” I thought to myself. “They should have been here by now.” I said worried.


As luck would have it, a couple minutes later, AJ followed Steven into the Dining Room and sat down next to me. I smiled at him and was about to ask him what was taking him so long when he gave me an angry scowl that stopped me in my tracks.


“Now what!” I wanted to scream at him, but didn’t. Instead I gave him my best friendly look, trying the oblivious friendly route. “Hey buddy, what’s wrong? Please don’t tell me I did something to upset you again? If I did, I am real sorry for whatever it was!” I said, trying my best to sound as sincere as possible.


“It is not what you did to me!” AJ snapped. “It is what you did to Steven, even after what I told you!” He growled.


“But you have to believe me…” I started to say.


“I don’t have to believe anything you say and right now I don’t want to discuss it here!” He hissed, as we were starting to attract people’s attention.


I glanced across the table to where Steven was sitting, and saw that he too looked angry when he looked back at me.


“Just great! How in the world do I always get myself into these messes?!” I complained under my breath.


Then as if by some weird magic, I heard a voice reply back to me inside my head. The weird magic thing about it was, that it wasn’t my voice; it was Mike’s voice.


“Benji, that is just it. ‘YOU’ keep getting yourself into these messes. No one else gets you into them, you do. When are you going to learn to start cleaning up your own mistakes?” And with that, Mike’s voice was gone.


“My mistake!” I wanted to shout at Mike. “You must not have been here when Steven misunderstood what I was there for and that is why my friends are mad at me now. Tell me what mistake I made!” I silently demanded from Mike. Of course he was gone already and could not answer me. “That’s what I thought!” I shouted out to him with my mind when I got no reply.


Lunch was a miserable fare as I hated having to sit next to AJ while he was scowling at me as if he wanted a piece of me the whole time. I was starting to get the idea from the way he was seething, that there was a good possibility that he was going to try and beat the snot out of me after lunch. I knew the only way that I was going to avoid this beat down was to somehow get to Steven before AJ got to me. I needed to make him believe that I wasn’t trying to listen in on his conversation with Mrs. Betty. I will be honest with what I heard but let him know that I will never tell anyone about it and that I was not there for that reason. I would even tell him why I was there so that he would see the truth. Maybe then I could avoid a beat down and patch things up before I lose my friends. I had no idea how long I was going to be stuck like this and the last thing I wanted was to be friendless for the whole time.


I wasn’t sure how much time I would have between the end of lunch and my meeting with the caseworker, but I knew I needed to leverage every minute I had, to save my friendship with AJ and Steven.


The problem was that after lunch was over, AJ and Steven left together and as they did; AJ gave me a look that seemed to say… “Come to the room at your own risk.”


With no other option, I decided to risk my life to save my friendship. I was also hoping that maybe they would give me a chance to explain before they started beating me to a pulp. First though, I needed to get to the bathroom as I suddenly felt a need to go and I didn’t want to pee my pants again. I also noticed a familiar gurgling in my stomach now that I’d eaten. I walked as quickly as I could to the nearest bathroom, trying my best along the way to hold back the flood gates. I also hoped that I didn’t have any more strong cramps like earlier, at least not until I made it to the bathroom.


I was almost there when I felt my bladder suddenly spasm and a spurt of pee enter into my underpants. I did everything I could to clamp down those muscles and quickly regained control. As I did this, I realized this was a mistake as I felt it put pressure on my gut and suddenly I felt hot liquid squirt out of my butt. I was very lucky to regain quick control but I was not sure how long it would last, as I felt myself losing the battle between both my bladder and bowels. Not wanting to waste time, I did not stop to examine the damage done by my momentary bladder and bowel loss. Instead, I made my way to the bathroom which was not empty. There were 3 other boys currently in there using the facilities. I didn’t waste time on checking who the others were; instead, I rushed towards an open stall and shut and locked the door.


I quickly dropped my pants and underwear and sat on the toilet. I noticed that as I dropped my pants that my member was once again leaking in my underwear. Not taking the time to care, I quickly sat down and shoved my leaky member into the bowl just in time! Like earlier, a powerful cramp hit me and my bowels opened up and everything inside of me poured out of them! Also like earlier, I was stuck there on the toilet until I was no longer cramping and having diarrhea. This time with no showers to clean my backside up with, I had to use a lot of toilet paper to get the job done.


Now that my bladder and bowels were empty, I was able to check the damage done to my pants. I did it quickly before zipping myself up. From my quick examination, I was able to tell that while my underwear were pretty wet, my pants only had a wet spot the size of my fist on the front. Of course it was still big enough for people to tell that I peed myself. The worst problem though was the heavy wet brown streak in my underwear and the back of my jeans where I had squirted out some poop by accident before I was able to make it to the toilet. I used toilet paper to try and clean it as best as I could for now but it wasn’t able to really clean it properly. What I really wanted to do was get in the shower and wash and as for my clothes, I wanted to get them in the washer ASAP to get the poop stain out of them before it set in. As for now, I decided my best course of action was to quickly make my way out of there before anyone noticed. As I opened the stall door, one of the boys was still hanging around at the mirror, it wasn’t until I started to leave when I realized who he was.


My day was about to get really bad as I saw Peter staring at me. He quickly stepped in front of the door and blocked my way out of the bathroom. A quick look around me told me we were the only 2 now there. If I had thought AJ looked mad at me earlier, it was nothing compared to the look that Peter was giving me. His face was livid! From what I was starting to gather, he must be blaming me for why he got in trouble for this morning’s incident. Either that or he got in trouble for last night’s incident after all.


“Well, well, well, Mr. Pee Pants pissed himself again!” From the sound of his voice I was having a hard time trying to figure out if he was trying to just make fun of me or if he was as mad at me as he looked. “So Benji, I see you pissed yourself again like a baby. Did you also poopoo yourself too? Do I need to check your pants and help you clean up just like the baby you act like?” He hissed. “How about I just smack you silly for all the fucking trouble you and your queer friend got me in this morning! Yeah, I found out that you and the queer are friends, which is strange when you were the one that started the mess this morning and you didn’t even get in trouble like we did! Well, I am going to make sure that you and your friend get what’s coming to you tonight! Don’t worry about Kevin stopping me either as I have already made sure that won’t happen!”


Then without any warning, Peter belted me in my stomach. With an oof, all the air left my lungs and pain filled my gut. I immediately doubled over and dropped to the bathroom floor and as tears filled my eyes, my bowels betrayed me once more and proved that they weren’t after all empty!


I could hear Peter laugh hysterically as he realized I was shitting my pants. He continued laughing as he left me alone in the bathroom. I am not sure how long I sat crumpled on that bathroom floor crying but if it hadn’t been for AJ and Steven who had come looking for me, I might have stayed there until someone came looking for me for my meeting with my caseworker.


“Ben! What happened?!” I heard AJ ask in a worried voice as he tried to help me up off the floor.


Of course I was still afraid that he too may want to hit me as well, and not wanting to be hit in my stomach again, I fought his attempt to get me up from the floor. Instead, I tried to protect my more vulnerable parts and hoped that anywhere he did hit, that it wouldn’t hurt as bad as Peter’s punch had just did.


“Ben! What is wrong with you? I am trying to help you get up but you are acting like some psycho!” AJ shouted at me and of course all the shouting did was reinforce the idea he was going to hit me. “Damn it Ben! Steven, can you help me? If we have to, we can drag him upstairs to our room!” Steven of course grabbed me on my other side as soon as AJ made this suggestion. “See, he is not too heavy, we can easily lift him between the two of us.”


“Man, what stinks!” Steven Complained.


“I think he messed himself. Come-on, help me carry him upstairs.”


AJ was right, they had lifted me right off my feet and even when I fought them, I still was not able to break free. They had a good grip and between the two, they had complete control over me. Still I could see that it was hard on them to get me up the stairs and I tried to use this to get away, but they were determined and nothing I did stopped them. They refused to let me go until they had me in our room where Steven put one of the chairs in front of the door and sat down, blocking my way out of the room.


My tears of pain had turned into those of frustration and I realized that my only choice now was to just get it over with. Maybe if I tried to act like the man I was, it would be better for me as they would think me a better person for taking my punishment like a man. At least I hope this would be the case. Of course it was hard to do this when you had shit running down your leg. My only hope was that none of it had yet escaped my pants; it would be embarrassing if I had left a trail all the way up to the room. This made me even more frustrated with AJ because it would have been his fault if I had.


“OKAY YOU WIN! TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT!” I shouted at AJ as I stood and opened up my arms giving him free shot at my body.


I could see that AJ was still upset but yet he never took advantage of the open target that I presented. This was kind of surprising as I was sure that was what he had wanted to do from the look he had been giving me at lunch.


“What is your problem?” AJ looked at me as if I had a screw loose.


“I thought from the way you guys were staring me down at lunch that you were going to beat me down.” I told them as I wiped the tears of anger from my eyes. “Aren’t you going to beat me up?” I asked in confusion.


“Ben, we were angry with you, yes; but we were not going to beat you up! Who do you think I am… Peter?! I told you I wanted to talk to you, but that I just didn’t want to do it at the dining room table.” I could hear the irritation in AJ’s voice as he spoke and found it hard to believe that he still wanted to be friends with me.


“I know you guys are upset with me but you never even asked me anything to make sure that I did anything wrong to begin with.” I stated in my defense.


“I told you not to go down to Mrs. Betty’s office as Steven was down there. I also told you that it was important that we respect his wish to not pry into his personal business.” AJ argued.


“But you don’t understand, I needed to talk to Mrs. Betty before lunch so that I could get her to allow me to a…” at this point I hesitated, my face turning red with embarrassment.


AJ didn’t believe me one bit though. “You could have waited here until Steven returned and then gone down. I know you went down there hoping to listen in on their conversation and you can’t make me believe anything different!”


Steven on the other hand seemed to be slipping towards my side. “Did you really need to see Mrs. Betty for something real important?” He asked, ignoring AJ’s annoyed look.


“Yes, please believe me! It was not my intention to listen in on your conversation. In fact I didn’t even know someone outside the office could hear people inside it talking. That doesn’t seem like good security to me and makes me hesitate wanting to talk about personal stuff in there. It makes me wonder if there is another office or room where we can talk more privately, where people can’t overhear what we say.” I kind of babbled all of this out, not realizing that I’d admitted that I did overhear what was said between Steven and Mrs. Betty.


“So you did over hear what was said between me and Mrs. Betty?” Steven asked as the anger started to return to his face. “So what did you hear?”


“Steven, I swear to you, as I said before, I didn’t mean to overhear your conversation. I was there for one reason only. As for what I overheard, I only heard the very tail end of what you guys were talking about.” I again tried to explain to him in hopes that he would believe that I wasn’t trying to snoop. “If you want, I can tell you what I heard but do you want me to do it in private or is it okay to tell you in front of AJ?”


At this, Steven went quiet as he thought about this. I could see that he was torn between wanting to keep his personal stuff private and trusting his friends, at least that is what it looked like to me.


“Hey Steven, you don’t have to tell me anything, I can go downstairs for a while and then you can just come and get me when you guys are done talking.” AJ offered as he started for the door, Steven though refused to budge.


“No, it doesn’t make any sense not telling you when Ben already knows. Besides, you are probably going to find out most of what he heard anyway, that is if all he heard was the end of what we were talking about.”


AJ gave Steven a friendly smile, as he made sure that Steven was positive of his choice. “You are sure that you are okay with this?”


“Yes, I am certain!” Steven then looked over at me. “Okay, now tell us exactly what you heard.”


Hoping that this is the right thing and Steven wouldn’t blow a fuse, I told him exactly what I heard. Once I finished, I again reminded him that I was not there trying to overhear him and Mrs. Betty. I also reminded him I was only there because I too needed to see Mrs. Betty for a private matter before lunch.


“You keep telling us you went there for a reason but you haven’t told us what that reason was yet!” AJ reminded me in a demanding tone after I finished.


“Yah!” Steven added.


“Okay!” I sighed and took a breath. “I went to see Mrs. Betty because I wanted her to let me start using protection during the daytime, so I don’t have to worry about wetting my pants anymore! I was hoping that she would let me wear a GoodNite starting before lunch; that way…” As I said this I pulled up my shirt to expose my wet pants which I knew they had already noticed but I reminded them anyway. “…this wouldn’t have happened!” I stated in disgust and anger at myself and Peter.


I of course was too embarrassed to even mention the fact of my soiled condition, even though I knew that they both already knew about that already as well! It just made me feel useless and incapable of being anything but a baby. Tears quickly fought their way out of my eyes and down my cheeks. It was Steven who broke first.


“Oh man I am sorry for accusing you!” He apologized. “Lately I just haven’t had a lot of friends. When you smell like piss every day at school, no one likes being around you, let alone dare be your friend.” He stated sadly and for the first time revealed something about his private life that neither AJ nor I knew. “You know, you guys have been nothing but friends to me and probably the only true friends I’ve had in years. I had some friends but none that I would say were as good as you guys have proven to be. I guess if anyone deserves to know why I am here, you guys do.”


Of course AJ had to dissuade him. “Remember, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He then looked at me. “You also might want to change first before he starts.” He suggested.


I thought about that for a moment. “Why should I? All I will do is pee or poop in my next change of clothes. I will wait until Steven is done and get cleaned up then.”


“Well if that is the case, then you’re sitting in the chair as it is plastic and can be wiped clean.” AJ instructed.


“Alright! Alright!” I backed down as I sat in the other chair in the room.


Steven just smiled. “Now that is taken care of, can we start the story?” Steven then took a breath then looked at us. “Are you guys ready? This is going to be a long story.”


“I hope we have enough time to hear it all before my appointment this afternoon with my caseworker.” I interrupted him.


Steven seemed surprised by this. “I am supposed to see my caseworker this afternoon too.


“Maybe you guys have the same caseworker.” AJ suggested. “I have seen that happen a lot, and with you guys having appointments on the same day and only both having just arrived, I bet it is the same person.


“Well, I guess we will find out soon enough.” I concluded. “For now, let’s try and see if we can get the story finished before our appointments start.” I then looked over at Steven. “That is if you are still willing to tell it.”


Steven nodded his head. “I will try my best to tell it before our appointments start.”


He waited as AJ and I got comfortable and then started.


“It all started when I was 6 years old…”



Chapter 13


Steven had just started to tell his story, but I was finding it difficult to concentrate. My butt was starting to itch and feel so uncomfortable that it was actually winning over my wanting to know Steven’s story. The only reason I didn’t rush off to the shower in the first place was because I didn’t want to miss it or have him change his mind during the time it took me to take my shower. Unfortunately, I wasn’t going to be able to avoid this and finally interrupted Steven who I hadn’t been able to listen to anyway due to my discomfort.


“Hey guys, I am sorry but I can’t sit in these messy pants after all. I am going to jump into the shower real quick and be right back.” I promised them.


I am not sure what they talked about while I was showering, but I did as I promised and got and right back out. I just washed everything from my waist down. Then once I got back to the room, I just pulled on a pair of fruit of looms and sat back down in my chair. I did find out that they had cleaned the chair while I was showering and sprayed the room. They had also taken my messy things down to the laundry room.


Now that I was sitting, Steven looked at me. “You all set now?” He asked.


I nodded my head and he smiled and I was glad when he started from the beginning.


“I don’t know why but I don’t have the greatest memory of when I was a little kid. In fact, for the most part, I can’t even tell you where I have lived at since we moved around so much over the years. Well, that is other than living here in the Chicago area or the last place we lived; which was Vegas. I remember how glitzy the strip looked with all those casino lights. I guess I remember a few of the other places but I couldn’t really tell you when it was we lived there for sure; we just moved around too often and never stayed in one long enough. I don’t know if this is why I am having such a hard time remembering things from my past or not but it seems as if I have very few memories that I am certain about, especially with my dad. The few memories of him that I have left, feel like an old faded movie; you know, one of those old silent pictures. So, the only reason I know that it began when I was 6 years old was because my mom would often remind me of the day we got that awful news. She would always start off saying that it happened just a couple weeks after I turned 6 years old. The awful news was…” At this point, Steven started to tear up and paused in his story to wipe away the few tears that were now rolling down his cheeks. “Sorry about that.”


“Don’t worry about it man, believe it or not, we all cry.” AJ stated sympathetically. “Just take your time and don’t allow yourself to feel pressured at any time. You tell us what you feel comfortable with. Okay?”


Once again AJ sounded way beyond his 11 years of age I just wish he wouldn’t always feel it necessary to try and convince Steven not to tell us his story. I was grateful though when Steven continued anyway.


“Even though I don’t remember most of my early childhood, I do remember bits and pieces here and there and that awful day is one that even I can still remember most of; well actually what I remember is this… I was eating breakfast, I am not positive but I believe it was a bowl of cold cereal. My dad was in the military and was somewhere overseas, I can’t remember where though. I do remember that we were expecting him to be coming home for a few days. Anyway, while I was eating my breakfast I heard the doorbell ring. Now don’t ask me why I remember this and don’t remember other things, because I don’t know why. All I know is that when I heard that doorbell ring, a part of me thought that it might have been my dad and that he had come home a week early. My young mind had figured he was ringing the doorbell to surprise us. So you can guess how surprised and disappointed I was, when neither the 2 uniformed military men at the door or the 1 walking up the sidewalk, were my dad.” Steven explained.


I was starting to see where this was going and suddenly felt bad for the kid. I could see now why Steven had been so unwilling to talk about his life. A loss like he had at such a young age would devastate anyone, let alone a child.


“One of the men asked for my mother so I went and got her. Again, I remember this next thing because I am sure it was the first time I ever saw my mom cry. After that, it seemed like she never stopped crying unless she was on something. Anyway, I got my mom like I was asked and she no sooner saw the military men at the door and she fell to the floor crying. I remember trying to find out what was wrong with my mom as the men came in and helped her up and over to the couch. From here my memory starts to get a little fuzzy again. I can’t remember when I finally realized why those men were at our home. I think at some point I must have clued in on why mom was so upset. I am guessing she must have said something that I overheard. What I do know is that my world came crashing down that day, as it was the day I learned my daddy died!”


Steven paused once again as new tears formed in his eyes and streamed down his face. Even AJ was tearing up and I could understand why, as I was struggling unsuccessfully to hold back my own tears. Several minutes went by before Steven was able to continue again.


“I kind of remember my dad’s funeral. There were a lot of military people there. I also remember that they shot a lot of guns off…” Steven seemed to be in deep thought. “You know how at funerals you go and say your goodbye to your loved one? Almost always you get to see that person one last time before they bury them. Well, in my case, I remember that I was not allowed to see my dad’s body. Back then I didn’t know why but now that I am older, I guess it was because the condition of the body was not something a child should ever see. Now thinking back, I am pretty sure the service was closed casket.” Steven mumbled, as he again was in deep thought.


“Do you know how your dad was killed?” I cautiously asked.


I knew that this question was probably a loaded one and could end up getting my head bit off by AJ but I was willing to take the chance to satisfy my curiosity. Surprisingly though, AJ didn’t say a word; finally, I think he wanted to know something as much as I did. Steven seemed to be almost expecting this question as he instantly gave his answer.


“No, I don’t remember. I don’t even remember if anyone ever actually told me how he was killed. All I know was that he was killed in duty to his country; because of this, he was awarded some medal that they gave my mom since he was dead. I do know that I have asked my mom a few times over the years, but she refused to talk about it, that is other than the day we learned he was dead. Maybe it was her way of protecting me from some gory truth, I don’t know. What I do know was that my mom got sick after my dad died and had to go to the hospital.” Steven sighed and for several minutes didn’t say a thing.


I wasn’t sure if AJ picked up on it or not, but from the way Steven sighed and the way he mentioned how his mom got sick, I was sure she wasn’t sick in the normal physical way. No, I was pretty positive that it was a mental sickness that Steven was talking about and the place she went to was the mental ward. Steven never did go into that though, at least not at this point.


“Because my dad died, my uncle came home. He was also overseas in the military. While my mom was in the hospital, I stayed with him and his family. I don’t remember much; I just remember having a lot of fun; which is a lot, considering that my dad had just died. After that, I remember moving and for a while we stayed at the new place but that didn’t last long and we moved again. I am not sure how many times we moved before we went to Washington DC to get dad’s medal. I am not even sure what year that was. I did see my uncle there but I wasn’t able to talk to him because he and my mom got in a huge argument. I haven’t seen him or my aunt since then. Again don’t ask me why I can remember the argument but can’t remember anything else. Well, I do remember that I was wetting the bed nightly. Shoot, I guess I forgotten all about that part and that was part of what this is all about. You see, I was according to my mom hard to toilet train. As she tells it, I wasn’t toilet trained until I was almost 4 years old. Even still, I wet the bed nightly but I was never punished for it. Right before my dad died, I had finally succeeded in becoming dry at night and I was real proud of myself of this accomplishment and couldn’t wait to show my dad that I had become a big boy. I can’t remember exactly when my bedwetting started up again. It may have been when I was at my uncle’s place or it may have been later when my mom and I moved; whenever it happened, I started wetting the bed again with a vengeance. It seems like my mom at first helped me by buying me diapers to use at night, but again I am not sure if this is a real memory or not. I do know that now, that is before I came here, she no longer bought me anything to help me with my night time accidents and that many times I had to go to school smelling like piss because I couldn’t take a shower.”


“Why couldn’t you take a shower?” I found myself asking Steven.


“Yeah, why couldn’t you?” AJ asked as well.


“Well, some of the places we lived in didn’t even have running water. So I wasn’t able to take any showers in these places and when I wanted to shower I would have to go somewhere else to get one. A lot of times I would find I just didn’t have enough time to take one if I was going to catch the bus in time. This was of course due to not being awakened in time. Then there were times where I was just plain not allowed to have one by a few of my mom’s many scuzzy boyfriends.” He explained to me and AJ.


“Man that really sucks!” AJ grumbled. “I would have told your mom about the guys who wouldn’t let you use the shower and made you go to school smelling like pee.”


“I did try telling her several times but the guys all seemed to think that it was going to be some sort of learning experience for me. They all seemed to think that it would lead to me stopping my bedwetting if I were sent to school like that.” Steven fumed in anger.


“Boy what jerks!” AJ shouted out. “I know how you feel man. I have had a few foster parents that have treated me that way when it came to my bedwetting.”


AJ’s mentioning of his bedwetting seemed to get Steven’s attention and for the first time since maybe that morning it seemed that he looked actually surprised. I guess I must have looked as surprised as Steven because AJ started looking back and forth between us.


“What!” He snapped in exasperation.


He continued to look back and forth at us for a couple more seconds when suddenly it seemed that what he had said only moments before had dawned on him. Now I had expected AJ to act embarrassed as that would be the normal thing a boy his age would do when being found out as a bedwetter, but once again AJ surprised me.


“You got to be kidding me!” AJ looked from me then to Steven. “I thought for sure you knew I was a bedwetter too.”


I of course knew he was talking to Steven here as AJ knew that I knew that he was a bedwetter.


“Actually I didn’t suspect you at all.” Steven said in surprise. “I figured you were just being nice putting up with Ben’s wetting problem. I never even considered that you had a problem yourself.”


“I swear I thought I mentioned it.” AJ seemed to falter here on his certainty.


“Nope, this is the 1st I have heard about it.”


“Steven, please understand that I was never trying to hide anything from you. I am sorry if it seems as if it might have come off that way.” AJ apologized.


“Don’t worry; you have nothing to apologize for. Remember, I wasn’t even going to share with you the truth about me; so you don’t have to feel bad about not doing so with yourself.” Steven explained. “So you are a bedwetter too, that means all 3 of us have something in common then. Anyway, where was I?”


“You were saying that you were sent to school many times smelling like piss because you weren’t able to shower.” I reminded Steven.


“Oh yeah, that is right.” He agreed. “Well because I ended up having to go to school that way, you can imagine how hard it was to make friends. In fact, it became worse than having no friends. I went from being the school nobody each time that we moved to the peeboy!  I was horribly made fun of on a regular basis. The verbal was bad enough but the bullying went beyond that. Several times I would get jumped by some of the bigger guys who saw me as small and weak. Let’s just say, it got to the point that I sometimes I played hooky just to get away from the taunts and the bullying.”


“Didn’t you tell anyone?” I interrupted Steven.


“Yeah, I tried once, only once.” Steven sighed as if in disappointment.


“Don’t tell me that they didn’t do anything?!” I was both shocked and angry as I asked this question.


“Yes and no. I went to my teacher and told him that 2 other students in the class had attacked me before school that morning. It had rained the night before and I was walking across the baseball diamond which was pretty muddy. They pushed me into the mud, then made me drink the muddy water and wouldn’t let my head up out of the puddle to breathe until they felt I drank enough of the muck! Not able to breathe, I was forced to do as they told me. Since I didn’t own a backpack, I carried my school books and supplies in a double plastic grocery bag. Before the 2 boys left, they dumped my stuff out of my bag into the mud. They of course warned me not to tell on them like bullies always do, but that day I had no choice because of my ruined school books.”


“Wow, what did the teacher do?” AJ asked and I nodded my head as I wanted to know too.


“Well, he sent me to the principal’s office, where I told him exactly what I told my teacher. Then he betrayed me and called the 2 boys down to the office and they both denied doing a thing to me and said that they were nowhere near the baseball diamond that morning and that several other kids could verify this!” Steven stated angrily.


“Don’t tell me the principal believed them?!” I blurted.


“He told me after he let them go that he had no choice, he had no evidence against them except for my word and they had several witnesses willing to state they were nowhere near where I was. He admitted that he believed me but that there was nothing he could do as he could not prove that the boys were guilty. He apologized to me and did state that the school would replace all of my books and school supplies. One problem arose out of that though…”


“Let me guess…” I interrupted. “They wanted revenge because you told.”


“You got it! You would think that we would have been even at least. I mean, they didn’t get into any trouble for what they did, so why punish me over it? Well they of course didn’t feel that way. Actually for the rest of the day the boys left me alone and stayed out of my way, I am guessing that was to keep them from getting in trouble from the principal. I actually had expected them to take out their revenge on me but when it never happened, I started to let my guard down. It wasn’t until I was on my way home after school that day that they finally took their revenge. Now while I was on school property I was very conscious of my surroundings, making sure to keep an eye out for any of the bullies that like to terrorize me, especially the 2 that I had the run in, that morning! When it never happened and I was safely almost 4 blocks away from the school, I began to feel a lot better; this was when I let my guard down.” Steven at this point got up and started pacing the room.


“So did they beat you up again?” AJ asked him and I could see the concern he had for Steven all over his face.


Steven continued to pace as he answered AJ’s question. “Of course, but this time was even worse. They were mad at me and they wanted to teach me a lesson I would never forget according to them. I have to admit, they were right, it was a lesson I never forgot. Of course this only happened last year! Anyway, they beat me badly, so badly that by the time they were done, I was barely conscious. My whole body hurt like it never hurt before and if somebody hadn’t come along when they did, who knows, maybe I wouldn’t be here today.” Tears were once again falling from Steven’s eyes.


“Man; that must have been awful!” AJ gasped.


“Yes it was! When I woke up next, I was in the hospital. I found out that the person who found me called 911 and I was taken by ambulance to the local emergency room. Those 2 bullies broke my right arm in 2 places, cracked 3 of my ribs, and broke my left ankle. Of course there were also other multiple bruises and minor wounds that they caused as well. Another thing that happened though while at the hospital was that they came across some other suspicious scarring and odd wounds that were not properly healed. Since the doctors felt the wounds were not the type that would be caused by ordinary play or roughhousing, they followed the law and reported it…”


I couldn’t help myself as I again interrupted Steven. “Don’t tell me that your mom and her boyfriends were abusing you!”


“MY MOM NEVER ABUSED ME!” Steven blew up.


“I’m sorry Steven; I didn’t mean it that way.” I tried to apologize.


I had not expected that at all but I guess I should have. Steven seemed to fume for a few minutes, but with some calming help from AJ, was able to calm down and continue his story.


“Sorry, that is just a touchy subject with me. Yes a few of my mom’s boyfriends were not too nice with me and gave me some of those injuries but after learning what happens when you tell on someone, I decided to not say a word when I was finally asked. The person the state sent to do their investigation tried to get me to implicate my mom and her boyfriend but I refused to. Also, my mother made me a promise before I saw the state person; she told me that if I was good and didn’t say anything bad, that she would promise to stop using drugs and go back to work. That she would even dump the creep we were currently staying with and get our own place as soon as we could. I really wanted to believe her so I told the state person about the bullies at school and how they pick on me. With me now awake, they were able to find out that it was school bullies that put me into the hospital. Of course though, I refused to identify who the actual persons’ were. I just told them they were some kids from school and I didn’t know who. Without any help from me and no real evidence, the state closed their case and I was released back to my mother.”


“Well, I hope at least your mom kept her word!” I stated.


“Dummy, if his mom kept her word, he wouldn’t be in here!” AJ snapped at me.


“Just because he is here doesn’t mean his mom didn’t keep her word.” I tried to defend what I said but knew AJ was right.


“AJ’s right, she didn’t keep her word. For a few days she mothered me because I really couldn’t get around too easily due to my ankle and ribs. She even went out and bought diapers for me for my bedwetting for the first time in forever. Those few days she took care of me. Feeding me, helping me to the bathroom, cleaning me up when I didn’t make it in time. She also diapered me each night before I went to sleep and sometimes during the day if she thought I might fall asleep.” Again Steven sighed and I knew that what was coming next wasn’t good. “I don’t know if she was just getting tired of taking care of me or if she was going through withdrawal symptoms that she could no longer fight; whatever the reason was, after about the 4th or 5th day of taking care of me, she left me to fend for myself.”


“What do you mean she left you to fend for yourself?” I asked curiously as I was afraid of where this was going.


“Just what I meant. She and her boyfriend just up and left one evening while I was asleep. She had put me in my night diaper and kissed me goodnight…” Steven’s tears once again made their way down his cheeks and my heart broke for him. “…and the next morning when I woke up, no one was there. At first I didn’t know that, but after calling for my mom over and over again because I had to poop, I decided to try and go to the bathroom myself.” Steven then looked directly at me as if he knew how much his tear stained face was affecting me. “Do you know how hard it is to get out of bed and go to the toilet all by yourself with cracked ribs and a broken ankle without any support? Hard is what it is! In the end, I had to slowly crawl all the way there all while in great pain. Even that is hard when you throw in my broken wrist. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it; at least I still had my diaper on. I went in search of my mom to get cleaned up as I wanted out of that wet and poopy diaper. I searched every room and did not find her or her boyfriend anywhere in the apartment. I was completely alone! It took me a while to do that search as I had to do it slowly and once I had completed it, I collapsed on the floor in front of the apartment door, this way I would know when they returned.”


“Oh man that really sucks! So when did they return?” AJ asked.


“A week later!” Steven replied.


“You got to be kidding me!” I hissed.


“No, they came back a week later and mom didn’t even seem to remember that I was hurt or that she had been gone for a week. She acted like she only had been gone for a few hours. I don’t blame her though, I blame the drugs.” Steven stated, trying to make excuses for her.


Unfortunately he was blind to the truth that his mother made a choice; she chose drugs over her own son. This type of thing happens all too often in this world. At least Steven has a chance to hopefully have a better life now that he is out of that living environment.


“Did you ever find out where she was at for that week?” AJ asked.


“No, mom was really out of it when she came home. I never was able to get anything out of her about it. The only reason I survived that week was because I made my way back to the bathroom and spent the week in the tub naked. This made it easy to clean up every time I had an accident or needed to use the bathroom. I also had easy access to water. As for food, since I wasn’t able to easily move, I ended up not eaten anything at all for the entire week. At least after a couple days, the hunger seemed to go away. When mom did come home, I thought she would start taking care of me again but she still didn’t really do much for me. If she remembered, she brought me food and water. Most of the time, I was stuck in bed in my own bodily waste. A few weeks went by and I was supposed to see my doctor again and because my mother had been stoned, I missed the appointment. Because of the state investigation that was done when I was in the hospital, the doctor was concerned when I didn’t show up for that appointment. Believe it or not, this doctor actually personally decided to check up on me and came by the apartment. When my mother recognized him through the peephole she panicked due to the drug paraphernalia all over the apartment. She told me not to say a word than proceeded to tell the doctor through the closed door that she was in the middle of getting a shower and that I wasn’t even there, which of course was a lie. She ended up agreeing to bring me in first thing the next afternoon, which she did in order to not get any more surprise visits.”


“Now that is a good doctor.” I marveled.


“Yeah he was; he even gave me a free set of crutches so I can get around once my wrist healed up better. At my checkup he told us that my ribs were healing nicely which surprised me considering all the moving around I had to do without any help. He said that I should be able to go back to school soon and that my cast would be coming of my ankle and wrist in a few weeks. Now I wasn’t happy about the idea of going back to school but being able to get around a little easier now that I had the crutches made me feel a little better, of course I would have to wait until my wrist was healed enough to use them.”


“Wow, I guess it must have been real hard to get around on crutches with a broken wrist and cracked ribs.” AJ said thoughtfully.


“Yeah it really was pretty hard at first but once you get the hang of it, it gets easier; besides, I didn’t use them right away. I had to wait a couple more weeks for my ribs to fully heal, by then then my wrist was strong enough for me to use the crutches.” Steven explained.


“That’s good.” I noted.


Steven nodded before continuing.


“Before we left, the doctor did bring up something with my mother. He wanted to know if she ever had me checked out for medical reasons that may be the cause for my bedwetting. He told her that children my age that continue to wet the bed should always be checked out for a medical reason, just to make sure. You know, when I heard that there might be a reason for my wetting that may not be my fault, I was like cool, let’s do the test. Mom on the other hand chose not to. She told the doctor that they had already done the test and they were told it was not medical and that I would eventually stop on my own.” Steven looked at both AJ and I and the look he gave us was one of frustration. “I am almost positive that she has never had me checked for medical reasons. I think she told the doctor that just to get us out of his office. When I talked to Mrs. Betty earlier, she told me that my caseworker will most likely have the medical test done, so hopefully I will finally find out if it is my fault or not.”


“Well, don’t get your hopes up and set yourself up for disappointment. Think of it this way, bedwetting is never your fault. It is your body’s way of saying it is not yet developed enough to hold urine through the night.” AJ said trying to encourage Steven. “I had the same hopes when I first came here and at first was ashamed when I found out that it wasn’t medically caused. Later though, after talking it over with a therapist, I came to realize that bedwetting is something that I have no control over and that I should not let it shame me. In the end, I accepted that I had a bedwetting problem and that eventually, when my body is ready, I will be dry.” AJ explained.


“I will try and remember that but I do hope that it is medical.”


Something was bothering me about Steven’s story. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe him as I did. No, it was more a detail that was bugging me that Steven seemed to leave out. I wasn’t sure if it was intentional or accidental but for some reason he didn’t reveal how the Doctor knew about his bedwetting. Of course, I guess he could have known about it from when he was there from his brief stay from the initial injuries but any accidents could have been explained away due to trauma. The other possibility was that Steven could have smelled like stale pee when he came in for his appointment. This is a problem for bedwetters who don’t wash themselves properly in the morning after waking up in a wet bed. Then again, I doubted that his mother would have taken him to the doctor’s appointment without making sure he was properly clean and in clean clothes. So this left me back to my original question, how did the doctor know?


“Ben, you okay? You look like you might need to pee or something.” AJ asked worriedly.


“Huh? Oh… Um… No… That’s not it. Just thinking is all. Sorry but I was wondering something.” I looked over at Steven who had stopped pacing and was now looking back at me. “Steven, I was curious about something, you mentioned that the doctor asked your mother about the bedwetting problem you had, but you never said anything about how he knew you had a bedwetting problem in the first place.”


“Oh is that all.” And Steven face turned red but still looked relieved, as if he had thought I was going to ask him something else. “You see, on the way to see the doctor, I had to pee real badly. I tried my best to hold it until we got to the doctor’s office. He works with the local hospital and helps with poor people who have no insurance. When not at the hospital, he has regular office hours. Anyway, I was really needing to pee by the time we arrived and it turns out it was one of those places where you have to go up to the front and ask for the key to the bathroom. By the time my mom finally got the key, it was too late! I had made a puddle on the floor and embarrassed myself in front of a room of strangers! Not only that, but I had to spend the rest of the morning in noticeably wet pants! Well my doctor asked about it as he also remembered that I had come in to the hospital in wet and messy pants. My mom told him about my nightly bedwetting and my occasional daytime accidents. Of course the way she made it sound like, my day accidents happened all the time. I want to make this perfectly clear! I rarely ever wet my pants during the day and when it did happen, it was usually due to not being able to hold it long enough to make it to a toilet. As for messing myself. That was only due to rare circumstances like when I got hurt or when I was forced to do it.”


“What do you mean ‘forced to’?” I asked Steven.


I already had a good idea what he was probably going to say based on what he had said already.


“Some of the bullies at my schools in the past like to make me go to the bathroom in my pants. They would give me a choice, either get beaten up or do what they say. At first I refused to do what they said but after being beaten up a few times I found myself giving in to their threats. The thing is, once you give in to them, they know they got you! Fortunately this didn’t happen too often. Then there was one of Mom’s boyfriends that like to make me hold it and refuse to let me go when I had to, until I finally went in my pants. That guy loved to make me do this then turn around and humiliate me for doing it when it was his fault for not letting me go. He only did this when my mom was not around or too drunk or stoned to not notice. Then one day she suddenly threw him out when she came home and found him giving me a bath.”


At this, my radar was going off, telling me that the reason why his mother got rid of that boyfriend was because she caught him doing something more than just giving him a bath.


“Steven, how old were you, when your mom got rid of that boyfriend?” I asked, knowing once again that it was a loaded question.


“Around 9 or 10, I think.” He said not sounding quite sure of himself. “I barely remember the incident and I think the reason why I do at all was because I finally was rid of him. But I think I know what you’re thinking and if you are thinking what I think you are, the answer is, I really don’t remember for sure. Maybe you can say that I am blocking it, or maybe nothing did happen. All I do know was that he was gone and I was glad! Anyway, getting back to what we were talking about, the doctor found out because my mom told him and I think she regretted it almost instantly.”


Well that did explain how the doctor knew. I would have never guessed that his mother would have told him that her son was a bedwetter but then again I could see her possible frustration after him wetting his pants and wanting maybe in her eyes revenge. No, it wasn’t right in any way for her to do what she did but if you look through her eyes, the eyes of a drug addict, you might be able to see it clearer from her point of view whether it is right or not. Anyway I need to pay attention as Steven had started talking again.


“As for my story here, I ended up going back to school 2 weeks later. Surprisingly, no one touched me while I was on my crutches. I am not sure if it was because more of the teachers were paying attention or if the bullies were feeling sorry for me. Now it didn’t stop the taunting and name calling but the physical stuff was completely on hold it seemed. I actually didn’t find the taunts so bad now that I was getting a break from the physical abuse. Then came the day that both my wrist, and ankle cast came off and for a while I was still using the crutches to get around on. That was until the hospital requested the crutches back or to pay for them; of course my mom took them from me no matter how bad I wanted to keep them. I knew no matter whether I needed them or not, that as long as I was using them, that I was going to be left alone. Sure enough, the next day I went to school without the crutches, I got beat up for the first time since I went into the hospital. Surprisingly by the same 2 that put me into the hospital in the first place. According to them, it was payback for again tattling as they were suspected in the attack against me. This time though, they made sure to hurt me but not to the extent to put me into the hospital again. They did warn me that they would be paying me a visit daily until they were sure I learned my lesson. That was also one of those few times where I ended up embarrassing myself badly by not only pissing my pants but crapping them as well. Boy was I glad when I came home crying that day, to find out that we were moving.”


“Were you moving that day or later that week?” I asked. “Also, did you get in trouble for crapping yourself?”


“Mom and her boyfriend had a huge fight and he had smacked her around. When I found out, I wanted to kill him but I couldn’t handle the kids my own age so there was no way I was going to be able to take on him. Anyway, she was pissed, so after he stomped out, she started packing our stuff into our car and by the time I got there she was pretty much waiting for me. To answer your second question, she was not happy that she had to take more time to clean me up. She wanted to be out of there before he got back. She was so upset that she took me to the bathroom and had me get in the tub where she stripped me then sprayed me down. She then quickly washed me, which was something I needed anyway, and then rinsed away the soap before drying me off. She then made me stand there naked as she ran out to the car to retrieve a new set of clothes for me. She had me change into those and told me to just leave the messy ones behind for that ass of an ex-boyfriend of hers to find. Like I said before, we moved around so many times it is hard to remember where we went next. Eventually though, we ended up here in Chicago. Once again my mom ended up with some trashy guy! We moved into his place and like always, I seemed to get forgotten unless they want someone to humiliate or beat. This new guy was even worse than all the others. He was making the drugs right in his home. Also, I think this drug was even worse than any my mom has ever taken before because she actually turned meaner. Up until this point, I had never been afraid of my mom…”


There was suddenly a knock on our door and AJ got up and answered it. It was one of the boys I had yet gotten to know.


“I got a message for Ben from Mrs. Betty. She told me to let you know that your caseworker has arrived and to come to her office and meet her.”


“Thanks a lot Casey, if you’re going back that way, could you give her a message.” AJ asked him politely, and then looked back at me with a knowing look which puzzled me. “Can you tell her that he will be down as soon as he gets dressed?”


“Okay, I will let her know.” With that, Casey turned and left.


I of course was turning bright red as I realized as soon as AJ mentioned that I needed to get dressed, what he was implying. I had been so absorbed in Steven’s story, that I again wet myself. My underwear was soaked and yellowed stained from my pee. Maybe I should have gone to the bathroom after all when AJ mentioned it earlier.


“Damn it!” I swore. “Well, at least Steven can continue while I am changing.” I suggested as I pulled off my wet underwear.


“I guess it is good that I am almost done then.” Steven said as he suppressed a smile. “I promise I will be done by the time you are done changing.”


“Cool, but I need to go wash myself real quick. I will be right back.”


I rushed from the room with just my towel wrapped around my bare waist with a washcloth in my hand. As promised, I was back in a couple minutes, of course I probably could have spent more time and did a better job but I wanted to hear the rest of Steven’s story. And while I started getting redressed, Steven finished his story.


“As I said, we ended up here in Chicago where we moved in with the biggest creep yet! I don’t know how my mom found these guys, but it always seemed like they were attracted to us like a magnet to a piece of metal! This guy was more than just a drug user. Shoot, he was even worse than a drug pusher! As I said, he was actually making the drugs right inside his home! He really got my mom messed up on those drugs too. I don’t ever remember seeing her that messed up before. She also started to get real mean. I tried several times to get Mom to stop and hoped that she would see what it was doing to her, but she never did. Then last night, I was asleep when all of a sudden I was awakened by a loud noise and a lot shouting. I didn’t know what was going on. I have to say it scared the shit out of me, and I mean that I had to literally clean the shit out of my pants. It turned out that the police had raided the place but I didn’t know what was going on until someone put handcuffs on me then put me into the back of a police car. Now just imagine what that was like… When the police came in they didn’t come in nicely, they busted down all the doors, making a lot of noise, throwing smoke and flash grenades everywhere, and like I said, it was pretty scary being awakened that way. Anyway, we were all taken down to the police station. Can you believe they actually thought at first I was dealing this stuff at school for my mother’s boyfriend?! They questioned me for quite a while, trying to get me to admit that I was guilty. I am so glad that another officer finally came in and saw the stupidity of what was going on...” Steven paused here and looked as if in deep thought.


I on the other hand was about finished. I hoped that Steven was about done but from the sound of it I could tell he was as I knew he ended up here next. Finally as if he remembered something Steven continued.


“The officer’s name was Lieutenant Grant and he was the one that finally believed me. He also was the one that thought of this place and brought me here. He said he hated the idea of me having to spend the night in jail and he knew somebody who might be able to get me into here. That person was able to pull some strings and got me a place for the day. Now I find that I am even luckier because even though this facility is at capacity already, somehow, someone was able to pull some even bigger strings, and get me a permanent place here until my uncle comes and gets me.”


“Wow, so when will your uncle be getting you?” Asked AJ.


“That is just it, I don’t know where my uncle is and no one else does either. Right now they are trying to find him but they told me that because he is in the military that he should be easy to find and that all it will take is a little time and patients.” Steven explained.


By this time I had finished redressing myself and was ready to go downstairs and meet my caseworker.


“Well, I better get down there before they send up a search party looking for me.” I joked.


“Do you mind if I go down with you?” Asked Steven. “I would like to meet the caseworker.”


“No, I don’t mind at all.” I told him. “The more the merrier.”


AJ decided to stay in the room while Steven and I went down to meet our new caseworker. As expected, our caseworker was with Mrs. Betty in her office, but for some reason I had been expecting a woman caseworker. Don’t ask me why, but for some reason, I always pictured child service and social workers to be women. I guess you may call that sexist, I just call that expectation, considering my major source that I get my information from is the TV. Anyway, if you hadn’t guessed it yet, my caseworker was a man.


“Hello boys, I didn’t expect both of you but since you are both here, please meet your new caseworker, Mr. Jessup.” She then pointed to us. “And these two are Ben and Steven, Ben is of course the younger one.”


“I see, nice to meet you boys.” Mr. Jessup greeted us and offered his hand in friendship.


As I cringed at the thought of being called the younger one, both I and Steven shook his hand and then not knowing what else to do, we just stood there. I guess Steven was waiting to be dismissed and I just didn’t know what to expect.


“Well boys, how about we take you one by one and we will go over your charts. Then I think Mrs. Betty wants to talk to you as well.”


“Excuse me sir, I was wondering, since we are both seeing you today, would it be okay to do it together, that is if it is okay with Steven here?” I asked Mr. Jessup politely.


My hope was that after Steven had opened up to AJ and me; that it meant he was now more opened to stuff like this. Besides, it sounded like he already told us pretty much everything anyway.


“I don’t have a problem with that.” Steven stated.


“Well, normally we like to keep things private between each individual child but I really don’t see the harm in this meeting. All we are doing today is getting to know each other and if you guys don’t mind then I guess we can do it together. Basically during this visit, I will be asking some questions and getting to know you both. I will also be setting up doctor appointments along with possible psych evaluations. But first, let’s go somewhere more comfortable.”


Mr. Jessup led us out of Mrs. Betty’s office and into the clothing room. There was a door that I didn’t remember seeing the first time I was in there. He unlocked the door and let us inside the room. This room wasn’t that much bigger than Mrs. Betty’s office and was taken up mostly by a round table.


“Please take a seat.” Mr. Jessup suggested politely.


At his suggestion both Steven and I took a seat at the table just as Mr. Jessup himself sat down. He had a couple of thick folders in his hands and I assumed that these were mine and Steven folders. I was actually surprised to find how thick that both of them were considering that both of us had just only arrived and neither of us had any real information to put into a folder. This made me wonder what could possibly be inside these folders. I found out that answer very quickly as Mr. Jessup opened what turned out to be mine.


“So, Ben, you were arrested for breaking into a local Catholic Church, is that correct?” He asked as he thumbed through several of the papers inside the folder and scanned them each.


“Yes sir but I really am sorry for doing it.”


“I understand and the police and the church have decided not to bring charges against you. I have to say that you were lucky to have Father Caleb in your corner considering that we still don’t have any verification on who you are yet.” He looked up at me to gage my response and I just shrugged my shoulders. He turned back to the report and continued. “According to the arresting statement, you claimed that you were Benjamin Fuller and that you were a 39 year old man. Would you like to explain why you would tell this story?” Again I shrugged my shoulders. “I see, would you at least be willing to answer truthfully who you are now?”


I sighed knowing that I would have to lie in order to get them off my back on this one, otherwise they might end up sending me off to some psych ward.


“My name is Ben and I am 9 years old. I don’t know what my last name is and both of my parents are dead and have been for quite a while. I have been getting by on the street ever since then.”


“What were your parents’ names?” Mr. Jessup asked as he pulled a new form from the folder and started to fill it out.


“Mom and Dad.” I said without a hint of sarcasm.


Mr. Jessup set down his pen and looked up at me.


“You don’t know your parents’ names?”


“I am sorry; the only thing I can tell you is mine.” I apologized.


“I am sorry as well.” Mr. Jessup apologized. “I guess that means that you haven’t been attending school then?” I shook my head no. “Do you have any schooling at all? Meaning, do you know how to read, do simple math and other things like that?”


I smiled now that I could at least give him some positive information. “Yes, I have been taught how to read and do math and other schooling by some of the other bums that I lived with over the last couple years.” I explained. “They felt that even though I was on the street that I still needed an education, so they made sure I got one.”


“Well, at least there is some good news. We will have to test you to see what grade we need to place you in. When you get enrolled in school on Monday, they will do that then.


He continued to ask me several questions, some of them I was able to answer and most of them, I was not able to give one. Finally, he came to the question that dealt with my bedwetting and day wetting accidents.


“Okay, I see that both of you boys have problems with bedwetting. Ben, I also see that you have been having several accidents during the daytime as well. I see that it is not only limited to your bladder but also bowel issues.”


I turned bright red as Mr. Jessup mentioned the pooping incident. Why is it that everyone kept referring to that one time accident like I had a bowel problem! Now if Steven didn’t know before, he sure knew now about the incident, of course I wasn’t about to let him or Mr. Jessup think I was some little pants pooper.


“Mr. Jessup, I don’t know why it isn’t stated in the file, but I was forced to poop myself.” I stated very clearly.


Mr. Jessup looked back at the file and read a few lines and frowned before saying, “I see.” He then looked back up at me.


“It says according to your file of that you were asked if a boy named Peter had hurt you or in some way made you have your accident and you denied he did at that time. Then at a later time you made a statement that Peter did make you have your accident. You see where the problem is, Peter on the other hand denies having anything to do with it. Now I will say that the staff does believe you but because of the denial and your word against his, they can’t punish him for it. I will though, change the official record to show that the soiling was not your fault but a forced upon act caused by another boy here at the home. I am sorry if we made it sound like you are a pants pooper and I hope you accept my humble apology?” Mr. Jessup asked sincerely.


“Yeah, I guess so, and to be honest…” and here I turned red again as I continued my explanation as I wanted to be truthful. “…I did poop my pants today, but you have to understand that it wasn’t like I was just sitting around and suddenly I pooped myself. The best way to explain it is to say that I have been having a very wicked case of Montezuma’s Revenge!” I explained.


“I see; well, if you feel the sudden need to go, please feel free to just get up and go. Just make sure to come straight back here when finished.” I nodded my head to let him know I understood. He smiled in return and got back to business. “According to Mrs. Betty, both of you have requested to wear protection and have agreed to wear cloth diapers. At this time I don’t have a problem with this but I do want to get both of you in to see a specialist if the doctor doesn’t find anything wrong which I have a feeling will be the case. Hopefully I can get you in to see the doctor in the next couple days, someone here will let you know when and will get you to your appointment. Hopefully if I can get it set up right, both of them will be back to back so it will make it easier for the Home here. Anyway, for now, I will authorize the cloth diapers for night time use for both of you and the GoodNites for daytime use for you Ben.” As Mr. Jessup’s stated this last part, he looked over in my direction.


“I was wondering sir, if you could do me a big favor?” I asked and as soon as I had his attention, I went on and asked my favor before he had a chance to refuse. “Last night was a real bad night for me due to having waking up wet several times throughout the night. I just got tired of not getting any sleep and so I finally asked if I could wear protection. I figured a place like this had to have something for boys like me and even though they did, I was told that they weren’t really supposed to. I just want you to know that I begged to wear something in order to just be able to sleep. Now Mrs. Betty is telling me that they are going to get in trouble because of me and I am hoping to convince you not to report them for allowing me to wear a diaper.” I pleaded my case.


“I see… Well, State regulations are very clear in this matter…” Mr. Jessup’s started “…but I guess I can overlook it this one time.”


Mr. Jessup’s then focused his attention on Steven. Like me, he had a hard time getting a lot of clear cut answers to his questions. Steven at least was able to give him a little more info than I had been able to give. He repeated a lot of what he had told AJ and me upstairs in our room though he kept the more personal stuff to himself. He was interested in where Steven was living during the time he had been beaten up.


“Steven, if you can remember what hospital you were at, maybe we can contact them. We can then recover your medical records there and start to work backwards.”


“Sorry Mr. Jessup, I don’t know the name of the hospital. I am not even sure if anyone ever even told me the name of it.” Steven apologized.


“No problem Steven. How about this, do you remember where you lived at during this time?”


“I don’t remember the specific address, but I remember we lived just outside Las Vegas in a trailer park. You could see the lights from the strip from where we lived.”


“I see.” Mr. Jessup’s mumbled as he wrote some stuff down on a few of the papers in what I assumed was Steven’s file. “That is going to be useful in helping us back track your records. I just wished we had more specific information to help narrow things down.”


I realized as Mr. Jessup’s was speaking, that Steven had failed to mention to our caseworker about the doctors making the alleged child abuse report to the State. Even if the State dropped the charges, I figured they would still have the original complaint on file considering the possibility of it being true. The thing was, I wasn’t sure if it was my place to mention this and I already came close to ruining our friendship once already today, well, twice if you count this morning but technically we were not yet friends then. I decided it was best to play it safe.


I bent over close to Steven and whispered in his ear. “Steven, if you tell him about the doctors making that report to the state while you were in the hospital; all our caseworker would have to do is contact Social Services or Child Protective Services and they can get all the information from the report.”


I wasn’t sure what he was going to do as I sat back up in my chair. I know he doesn’t want people believing that his mom abused him but I hope he understands how important this is and tells Mr. Jessup’s about it.


“Mr. Jessup’s, there is a way you can find out the information you want to get…” Steven then proceeded to tell him everything about the accusations that were made by the doctors and how they were reported to the state.


“Thank you Steven! I know how hard that must have been for you to talk about with me. I hope you can also feel able to tell me anything; no matter what it is, I am here for you.”


It was at this point that I suddenly felt a familiar gurgling in my stomach and lower intestine. Not wanting to take any chances, I did exactly what Mr. Jessup’s told me to do in case of such an emergency came up. I got up and after a quick apology sprang for the door.


I quickly made my way to the toilet and with luck on my side, the bathroom was completely deserted. As soon as I locked the stall door, I dropped my pants and sat on the porcelain throne with the thought “I made it”! A few moments later, I was once again giving the inside of that throne the full treatment. I tried my best to push it along but I found that as much as I wanted to hurry, I couldn’t due to the continual cramping. I would cramp and a few moments later I would blow! When the cramping did finally stop, I had to have been on the commode for at least 15 minutes.


As I made my way back to the room, I got as far as to the Clothing room where I found Mrs. Betty helping Steven pick out his clothing he would need while here.


“Hello Ben, Mr. Jessup’s asked me to tell you, that he enjoyed meeting you and that he will be seeing you again shortly. He also informed me that you talked him out of violating us on our infraction over allowing you to wear diapers.” Mrs. Betty smiled warmly. “I would like to thank you for myself and the staff for what you have done for us.”


“No Mrs. Betty, I need to thank you. You have been nothing but kind to me, and you and your staff didn’t deserve to get into any trouble over me.” I explained.


“You are a good boy Benjamin. Mr. Jessup’s was able to fill out some of the paperwork I have needed to get filled out and I appreciate you telling him the truth. He also approved both of you boys’ requests for diapers, but you both already know that.”


Mrs. Betty asked me to stick around while she finished helping Steven pick out his clothes, so I decided I might as well help him take them all up to his new room, it wasn’t until we left the clothing room that I found out where Steven would be staying while at the home.


“Well Steven, I am sure you have been wondering where you will be staying at while here with us?” Mrs. Betty asked with a smile as she closed the door to the clothing room behind us.


She knew she had both of our attentions as we both looked up at her in what I could best describe as eager hope.


“Steven, since you have been getting on so well with AJ…” She then nodded in my direction. “…and Ben here. I don’t see any place better to put you other than in with them; that is, unless a bed opens up somewhere else.”


I almost shouted out in joy when I got the news and one look at Steven and I could see that he felt the same. Even so, we could barely contain ourselves and were about to race up with Steven’s bags of clothes when Mrs. Betty reminded me of why she wanted me to stick around.


“Just a moment there Ben, I think you are forgetting something.”


Of course I couldn’t remember what it was I forgot at that moment and shook my head no. Was I actually becoming the little kid I feared? I felt myself acting more and more like one all the time!


“I asked you to stick around as I think you are going to want these as well.”


Mrs. Betty than walked me over to that one supply closet where I knew the GoodNites were kept. She then took a bag and filled it with GoodNites.


“I think these should get you by for a while. When you need more, just let one of us know. As for both of you and your night diapers, that will be taken care of before you go to sleep. Talking about Sleep, Kip will be bringing in a fold up cot this evening. It will already be made and I expect you to go ahead and remake it every morning before folding it back up. This way you boys will have more space inside your room.” Mrs. Betty then paused for a moment before clearing her throat and continuing. “I suppose there is just enough room in there for a small desk and chair. I will also have that brought up around the same time as the bed. Unfortunately, with the extra bed and the desk in the room, there will be no room for a third dresser.”


“Don’t worry Mrs. Betty; AJ and I can share room in ours for Steven’s clothes.” I offered.


“Well, that is kind of the both of you.” Mrs. Betty said appreciatively. “Well, you boys run along now and stay out of trouble.”


Steven and I did not need to be told twice. We both grinned at each other and made a beeline for our room.



Chapter 14


“Ben, is something wrong?” AJ asked me.


We had just finished eating dinner and the three of us were now back upstairs in our room. AJ and Steven were deep in some discussion about some new children’s comic superhero that I had never heard of. It had started at the dinner table and was still going on and they had been so into it that they hadn’t noticed that I really had not been really into it with them. Other than nodding my head and agreeing a few times to whatever they asked me, I really wasn’t paying attention to their discussion. My mind was instead a million miles away, thinking about something else.


“Yeah Ben, you’ve been pretty quiet since dinner. Is there something bothering you?” Steven asked looking concerned.


He sat down next to me on my bed, threw an arm around me and gave me a quick one arm hug. AJ walked got up from his seat and walked over in front of me, giving me a curious look; as if he were trying to decide if it was truly me or the big bad wolf in disguise.


I wasn’t sure what to tell them at first so I just shrugged my shoulders. My mind was stuck on a mental image of Peter pantomiming the act of cutting his throat and then pointing to his watch. This had happened just right before dinner had ended and I quickly got his point and remembered his earlier promise. Somehow (and I mean it, don’t ask me how), I had managed to forget all about Peter’s earlier promise of beating the crap out of me sometime later this evening. I also knew better not to tell a soul. I knew that the consequences would be much worse for me if I did. Of course the problem was that the threat was not just meant for me but also for Steven as well. It was only fair for Steven to know what was possibly coming for him. One of the points that kept coming up in my mind as I had been thinking all about this was, could Peter really keep Kevin busy enough to keep him from stopping him from beating me and Steven up.


I will be honest, I was never a fighter and even as an adult a big wimp when it came to physical stuff. The last thing I wanted was to get the hell beat out of me but I also thought that maybe this was one of those times that if I took my beating like a man, maybe he would quickly grow uninterested in it and move on to another target… Steven! On the other hand, if I were to struggle and fight back, I would be giving Peter exactly what he wants and it would only encourage him to beat on me more. Then again, the more he beat on me, is less time he beats on Steven. What it all comes down to, AJ and Steven were my friends and if there was anyone that I could trust to tell, it was them. It also was not fair to keep them in the dark about this, who knows; maybe one of them might have an answer to this predicament. They are after all 2 smart kids and deserved to be treated better than just like little kids.


“Ben…” AJ started to say but I cut him off.


“I am sorry guys. I have just been worried about something. You see, there is something I didn’t tell you about, with my earlier run in with Peter.” I started to explain to them.


Neither one of them said anything so I took it as a sign to just go on and continue.


“Peter punching me earlier was just a preview of what is to come.” I sighed. “He told me that later sometime after lights out, when Kevin is on duty, that he plans to come in here and beat the crap out of me and…” At this point I turned my head and looked in Steven’s eyes and gave a quick nod of my head when he pointed to himself. “…Steven for what happened this morning.” I verbally acknowledged. “He claims that Kevin will not be able to come to our rescue because he has already made plans to make sure that Kevin will be taken care of.” I explained.


As I said this, I continued to look into Steven’s eyes and I could see the sudden fear fill them. He definitely was afraid of Peter’s threat as much as I was. I took one of his trembling hands in one of my own or is it more the other way around since his hand was actually bigger than mine? Whatever it was, this seemed to help calm him. As for AJ, he sympathized and wanted to help and support his friends however he could.


“I will go along with whatever you guys want to do but I recommend that you guys don’t tattletale. I can almost guarantee that if you do, that first nothing will happen because it will be your word against Peter’s and the fact that Peter hasn’t even done anything yet unless you want to tell about the stuff he has done already. All you will end up doing is getting him a slap on the wrist and pissed of even more, and then he will just make you pay even worse later on like he is doing tonight.” AJ explained to us.


“Yeah, I agree with that too.” I concurred. “Besides, how can Peter keep Kevin from doing his job? I think he is all talk!”


“I agree too.” Steven agreed in a small voice.


Even though Steven had agreed, I could tell that he wanted very much to believe in what was said but the fear on his face told a different story. Maybe with a little time and support from us, Steven might have had the chance to believe in this too but then AJ had to speak up and crash all hope of this theory.


“I am sorry to tell you this but I have to tell you the truth so that you know. It is very easy for Peter or someone like him, to distract or keep busy one of the workers. In fact this tactic has been used in the past by a few of the bullies that have come and gone through here.” AJ reported.


My ears perked up when I heard bullies with an ‘S’. It never even occurred to me that there may have been other bullies coming and going. It made me wonder who the others were, as I could only see Peter as the main bully of this place. Then again maybe I had heard it wrong.


“AJ, are you saying that Peter was not always the big bully here?” I asked.


“Aw no, Peter has been here a while but he has only been the big bully of the house for the last 7 months or so. Before him there was Jackson. Now if you really think Peter is bad, just be glad you never had to meet Jackson. He was one mean bastard and loved to beat the shit out of just about anyone who got in his way. He showed up here about 10 months ago and quickly took over the bully spot from another bully named Tim who became his 2nd. Peter became one of his goons but even that didn’t keep him from getting beat up by Jackson a few times when he pissed him off. As for me, I tried my best to stay out of his line of sight and for the most part succeeded but every once in a while became a target though I think it was because Peter turned Jackson’s towards me.” AJ explained.


“Wow! So what happened to Jackson then?” I asked.


“Yeah, what happened to him?” Steven asked as well.


Steven was still very obviously scared but I could see that he was extremely interested in anyone who could beat up Peter. And to be honest, so was I at that point.


“Like I said, he was much worse than Peter and his stay here at the Home was cut short. At first, we boys didn’t know what happened to him or Tim for that matter. It didn’t take long though before it hit the news and then of course we all knew what happened then. He and Tim broke into a home and burglarized it. One of the items they ended up stealing was a hand gun. I guess with the gun in hand they gut gutsy and made the worst decision of their lives. They decided to try and rob a small convenience store. What they didn’t know was that the guy behind the counter had a gun as well and was very nervous when he saw the Jackson and Tim run in with their gun. He didn’t even give them a chance; he shot them both before they could even say a word.”


“Man AJ, did they die?” Steven asked quietly.


“Jackson died on the scene. As for Tim, he died a month later though he was considered brain dead at the scene.” AJ replied. “His mother in the end had them pull the plug. I guess it was pretty hard for her as she had been trying to bring Tim home for the last couple weeks and I guess was close to satisfying all of the States requirements.”


“That really sucks!” I grumbled.


“Yes it does. As for the other bullies, they were either overthrown by a bigger bully or in most cases, the old bully just didn’t last long as they usually just got into so much trouble that they got thrown out of here.” AJ added.


“I see, so anyway, we got a little sidetracked. You were saying that it was possible for Peter to make it so that Kevin would not be able to come to our aid when Peter comes to beat me and Steven up?” I asked, trying to remind AJ what the original question was to begin with.


“That is pretty easy to do. It is the same thing a magician does when performing a trick. He gets the audience to look one way, when he accomplishes this, he does his allusion allowing him to fool the audience into not seeing what he did when they were not paying attention. The bullies and Peter in this instance will do the same thing. He will do something that will get Kevin’s Attention elsewhere and while he is busy with whatever thing that Peter has set up for him; Peter will take that time to try and do what he promised.” AJ explained.


I had to be honest, after AJ explained it; I couldn’t believe that I didn’t think of it already. It was a simple basic plan, easy to implement and almost guaranteed to work. The question now was what are we going to do to stop it?


“AJ, is there any way that you know of to maybe get out of this?” I asked in an almost begging tone.


I felt Steven grip my hand tighter as I asked this and was reminded that he was still holding it.


“To be honest, I don’t know of any way of getting out of it other than somehow paying Peter…” AJ started to say but was cut off when Peter himself suddenly threw open our door!


“So, you guys been talking about me!” Peter grinned evilly. “I bet you guys are just shitting yourself now!” Then his grin turned to a stern and angry look as he looked directly at me. “You better not tell anyone else about our meeting tonight or I will make you regret it! I promise you that!” He threatened.


For a moment there, he looked like he might just start clobbering us right there and then but luck was on our side when we heard Rhonda call out Peter’s name. She was obviously looking for him and he decided to duck out of our room before she found him in there with us.


“Man; that was close! I really thought he was going to beat us up right then.” Steven stated in a whimper.


I nodded my head as I agreed with him and looked over at AJ to see what his response was. I noticed that he was grasping tightly to his desk, so tightly that his knuckles were white. You know I am not even sure when he had walked back over to his chair. Anyway, it looked as if he had been wound up tight and was about to spring. I didn’t know if this was a good thing or not. My guess was that AJ was one of those kids who can only take so much and once they reached their capacity they just snap. I was worried if he was starting to get to that point now. I knew we had to do something to get this off our minds as there was nothing we could do at this moment anyway, so I made a suggestion.


“Hey guys, how about we go down and get a board game and then bring it back up here and play it.”


“Monopoly?” Steven asked.


“I like Monopoly.” I agreed. “What about you AJ, does Monopoly sound okay to you?”


For a moment, I didn’t think he was going to respond but then he slowly turned and looked at me. He smiled and nodded his head in response and even though I could see that it was forced, I knew that he was at least trying. Hopefully, maybe once we got the game going, we could get lost in the fun for a while.


“I will go get the game.” I announced and then after another quick reassuring squeeze, left Steven’s side and ran downstairs to get it.


It wasn’t until I was going downstairs that I realized that I better change my GoodNite and soon. Even though I had remembered to use the bathroom a few times this evening, I still had managed to soak my first diaper. I could feel the wet, soggy, bloated, material between my legs, as I went down the stairs.


“I need to do better at getting to the bathroom more often.” I thought to myself as I reached the ground floor and headed towards the common room where the games were.


A few of the boys were in the common room watching a TV program, I for the most part ignored them and they did the same with me.


I quickly located one of the Monopoly games, leaving the common room and was on my way back towards the stairs when who do I run smack into?


If you said Peter, you would be correct.


At first I thought he was going to pound me or something but what he did surprised me… He genuinely smiled at me! He really seemed happy for some reason; which to be to be truthful, I found to be a little creepy. His whole face was lit up as if he just received the best news of his life.


“Sorry Peter, I am really sorry, I didn’t see you.” I quickly apologized as soon as I got over my initial shock.


I had thought that this was the most that Peter could shock me, but I quickly found out that he could do so even more.


“It is no problem Ben, it was my fault.” He said with an almost giddiness. “By the way, I am really sorry about earlier, I hope you can forgive me for being a butt to you. I also am calling off that whole thing tonight, so you don’t have to worry about that anymore.”


And then he again smiled at me… Yes he was really smiling! Not one of those evil type smiles either, you know, the ones that mean I am going to get you and make you pay later. He actually gave me a genuine friendly smile that showed what type of kid Peter use to be before he got caught up in whatever turned him over to the dark side.


Still, I wasn’t sure if this wasn’t some trick to get me to think he was calling it off so that he could just surprise me and Steven later, then make it even more painful for us. I stood there for a second scrutinizing what he was saying and he could see that I was having trouble believing him. I guess what finally made me believe what he said was when he threw his arms around me and hugged me. It came very unexpected and normally if I had expected it I would have tried to block it but he did it before I could respond and now I didn’t know what to think other than something happened to make Peter change his attitude.


“Okay then, I guess I’ll tell the guys that they don’t have to worry anymore.” I babbled, not knowing what else to say.


I then rushed up the stairs before Peter could change his mind.


I did of course wonder what brought over this sudden change for Peter. It was only a few minutes ago that he was threatening us and now here he was being unrealistically nice. This really didn’t make sense for his character unless something very drastic happened in those few minutes he had been gone. What that was of course, was a mystery and no matter how badly I wanted to know the answer, there was no way I was going to risk asking him about it. I figured that sooner or later, if the rumor-mill here was good enough, we would soon know. For now, I took the game to our room and reminded myself that I needed to change my GoodNite before I sat down to play.




“Okay guys, time to start getting ready for bed.” Kip said out of nowhere and scared us so bad that I don’t think I was the only one to wet myself a little! (Out of the corner of my eye I was sure that Steven peed himself a little but out of respect I decided not to stare. I was going to try and check it out later when he wasn’t noticing but ended up forgetting.)


We had been playing Monopoly for all this time and I was only a few more rounds from winning, when Kip opened our door and stuck his head in, letting us know it was bedtime. The only time we took a break from our game was when Kip had brought up the folding cot that Steven would be using and then the desk and chair. Since then, we had been absorbed in our game and didn’t even notice the door open until Kip said something and scared the bejeebers out of us!


Kip chuckled as he told us what to expect before shutting the door again behind him. “As soon as everyone is in bed, I will be back and take care of your diapers.”


“That stinks! I was going to have both of you groveling at my feet in the next few turns.” I bragged as soon as I got over my initial scare.


“You just think that! What you don’t know was that I was going to take you out!” Steven stated smugly.


“Yeah, you and what army?” I laughed.


We started putting the game away and as we were doing this the topic of Peter’s sudden change of heart once again came up. I had of course told them what Peter had said to me as soon as I had come back to the room and we had discussed it while I had changed out of my wet GoodNite and put on a dry one. At that time none of us could figure out what could make Peter change his mind and attitude so suddenly. Since then, nothing had changed and so far we had not come up with any ideas for Peter’s out-of-character conversion.


“Maybe he found GOD.” Steven suggested.


“Since dinner time! I don’t think GOD works that fast.” I balked at the ridiculousness of the suggestion.


“Well, maybe you don’t believe in GOD, but I do! And I think he can do miracles! Even with kids like Peter!” Steven huffed.


AJ, who was getting a little tired of the argument and where it was going, decided to change the subject and focus it back on Peter and not on GOD and Christianity.


“I don’t know, I have been here longer than Peter and I can tell you this, I have never seen him act like you witnessed Ben!” AJ attested. “I also don’t think it is a trick either as it isn’t the way he works. As you already seen, Peter gets a thrill off letting people know when he is gunning for them. He may not always tell them when he is coming for them but he never tells them then later tries to take it back. It is just not his character, but then again, I guess there is always a first time. Still I would bet everything, that from the way you explained it, he was being honest with you! I just hope that whatever made Peter make this drastic change doesn’t end up going badly, otherwise we might end up with a madder than ever Peter!”


I could see where AJ was going with this and all I could do was hope along with him that whatever made Peter change that it would never backfire. The last thing I wanted was an even more pissed off and revenge seeking prick trying to beat me and Steven up.


“Hey guys, I’ll take the game back downstairs.” Steven Offered and before either I or AJ could object he left with the game in hand.


“Did you notice that Steven wet his pants?” AJ quietly asked me as soon as Steven had left the room. “It’s not very noticeable, but he did wet them.”


I nodded my head in acknowledgment but did not know what to say in response. I still hadn’t got a good look at the wet spot but from what AJ was saying, it wasn’t that bad and noticeable. With nothing else to do, AJ and I started stripping out of our clothes so that we could put our pajamas on. When I got down to my wet GoodNite I stopped.


“I wonder; should I leave my GoodNite on until Kip returns with my night diaper?” I asked more to myself then to AJ.


“You could take it off and use the bathroom now, and then you should be okay until he comes to diaper you.” AJ suggested. “This way you can clean yourself up a little as well.”


What he said made sense but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to take even a small chance of an accident happening. Besides, who was to say that Kip would be in right away to diaper us? It was possible that he could be detained for a while and not get around to us until much later and by then I might have fallen asleep and have already wet the bed. My mind then went from my predicament to AJ and his own bedwetting problem.


“You know AJ; you really should consider wearing diapers as well. Just think how much better your sleep would be if you didn’t have to sleep in a wet puddle all night long. Also, now that I and Steven are wearing these cloth diapers our room won’t stink, that is, unless you wet the bed. If you were to wear a diaper to bed like us, then our room won’t smell as bad.” I tried to reason with him.


I could see that my words had made an impact with AJ but I wasn’t sure if it was enough to get him to change his mind on wearing a diaper to bed or not. I could understand his point, I mean, I really understood it! Being the grown man that I was and now being treated like the little kid that I looked and felt like. It was the same principle with him. Here he was, almost a teenager and he still wet the bed like a little kid. The last thing he wanted to do was put on a diaper as it only cemented the idea that he must be a baby as he was wearing what he thought of as a baby article. I just wished I could find a way to get him to see that this was not the case but it was hard to do this when I myself still felt this way. The only reason I was even willing to do any of this at all was because I could no longer stand my other option.


“Are you okay?” I asked after several moments waiting for him to respond. “I hope I didn’t upset you. I just wanted you to know that we wouldn’t think anything less of you if you did wear a diaper; besides, you wouldn’t be able to wear one until they got permission from your caseworker anyway.” I pointed out.


Finally, after several more minutes of silence, I came to the conclusion that AJ was not going to talk about this when he finally spoke up.


“I know you mean well and now that I no longer have the room to myself, I have to think of you guys as well. It is just that I have bad memories of foster parents who forced me to wear diapers and belittled me for it. It is because of this that makes it hard for me to wear them, it reminds me of those times.”


“But AJ, you’re not with those people now. Wearing diapers are no longer being forced on you and no one is belittling you for it. Think of all the support you have given me for my problem since I have gotten here and now all I want to do is show you that same support and friendship. It can be a 2 way street if you let it be.” I advised.


“I know and I am trying to tell myself that but it is hard to convince myself.” AJ sighed then as if trying to change the topic he asked about the whereabouts of Steven. “You know, Steven has been gone for quite some time, it doesn’t take that long to take a game downstairs and come back up.”


“You’re right; he has been gone for a while.” I acknowledge. “Still don’t think I didn’t notice that you have just tried to change the subject. Steven must have gotten held up for some reason but I would like to finish what we were talking about.”


“But you don’t understand; what if Peter got him?”


“I thought you said you believed that Peter was telling the truth?”


I could see from AJ’s face though that he really didn’t believe this anymore, not with Steven being gone for so long. To be honest it was possible but I really didn’t want to believe it because if it was so, than we were already late as Peter would have had him now for several minutes, long enough to beat the living tar out of him.


You know, I wonder where is my ghostly, umm what would you call Mike? A spirit… Nah, maybe a Guardian Angel of some sort. I am not so sure. Next time I see him I need to ask him I guess. Anyway, I wonder why he is never around when I could use him? He always seems to pop up at the most inconvenient times it seems.


We quickly finished putting our pajamas on and then went out in search for Steven.


It didn’t take us long to find him and as it turned out, he was not being harmed by Peter, in fact, he was not with Peter at all. We ended up finding Steven in the clothing room which was locked but when we heard his voice inside the room, we knocked on the door and were let in to find him with Kip. It was actually Kip who had let us in as Steven was busy pulling up his pajamas over a very noticeable bulky cloth diaper and plastic pants. It was also now that I realized that he must have gotten another pair of pajamas because I knew he hadn’t brought his pajamas down with him.


“Wow, those are thick diapers!” AJ stated in awe as he walked over and checked out Steven’s cloth diaper closer before he had a chance to pull the Pajama bottoms over the top of it.


“You know AJ; we can always set you up with one as well.” Kip informed him.


“Doesn’t he have to get permission from his caseworker first?” I asked as I didn’t want Kip or the home to get in trouble.


Kip looked at me than at AJ.


“Didn’t you tell them?” Kip asked as he continued to look at AJ.


I am guessing here but I think he was judging AJ’s response to his question. Of course it was obvious that he hadn’t told us whatever it was that Kip thought that he should have. Again it seem like AJ was not going to respond and Kip decided to drop it. I watched as he cleaned his hands and then cleaned the table where I guess he had Steven lay down on so he could diaper him. It was while he was doing this that AJ finally spoke.


“It seems like everyone is trying to push me into wearing diapers again. I was told that diapers were my choice and that I would never be forced to wear them ever again. Yet, I feel like I am being pushed by everyone to wear them and having the choice taken away from me. I really don’t like this high pressure that you guys are putting me under.” AJ fumed, he then took a few breaths and little more calmly continued. “Still, you are right Ben, I can’t think of myself anymore as I no longer have the room to myself.”


I was about to say something but AJ stopped me.


“I am sorry Ben, but I am not finished yet.”


          AJ then waited to make sure no one else was going to interrupt him before continuing.


“Ben, you say that I will sleep better if I wear a diaper, but to be truthful, I rarely wakeup when I pee the bed. I usually sleep straight through until morning. So sleeping in a wet bed doesn’t really bother me but it does make the room smell and if you guys are going to do your part to keep the room from smelling, then I guess I need to do the same.”


At this point, I wasn’t sure what to think. I really didn’t want AJ to hate me and think I was forcing him to wear a diaper to bed. I also wasn’t sure if he was done yet or not, so I waited to just be certain. After a few moments of silence, I came to the conclusion that he was in fact done talking.


“Please don’t do it if it is going to make you hate me. I don’t want it to come between our friendship.” I told him.


“Ben, I don’t want you to ever think that! I can never hate you. You might upset me at times but I can’t hate you. You are the first real friend I have had in forever!” And as AJ said this, a single tear fell from his right eye and down his cheek.


“Well now that we got that all worked out, let’s get the 2 of you in diapers now.” Kip’s voice boomed with cheerful approval.


“But he has to get approved first.” I reminded Kip.


Before I could say anything else, AJ cut me off.


“That is the thing Ben. You see, that thing that Kip was asking me if I told you yet about, well the truth is that I am already approved. You see, my caseworker got me approved for diapers a long time ago, that was the reason why my foster parents were able to have me in night diapers. When I got here, Mrs. Betty had me go through the approval process again to be sure even though I begged her to please not make me wear them. Ultimately, I was approved but after talking to my caseworker, it was decided that I would not be forced to wear them. It has been left up to me since then.” AJ explained.


“Cool, then you don’t have to wait after all!” I smiled.


“Well how about we get you done next before you change your mind?” Kip suggested to AJ.


AJ hesitated though and it suddenly looked like that maybe he was going to back out again. Kip tried to reassure him but it didn’t help, he continued to stand there, too afraid to move or say a word, he just stood there like a statue and every few seconds or so his lips would start to move but no sound emanated from them. I couldn’t believe it, we were so close to getting AJ in a diaper. I guess his bad memories are just too hurtful and hard for him to get over with.


Kip sighed and then smiled at AJ. “Okay AJ, we won’t try and push you anymore.” He then looked in my direction and patted the table next to him. “Ben, come up and take a seat here.”


With a little hop up, I did as I was told. Kip then took me by my legs and swung me around length ways of the table on my soggy butt. He then had me lay flat. For the next few moments I watched as he arranged 2 thick cloth diapers, a pair of plastic pants, some pins, and a large container of baby powder next to me.


I found myself staring at the powder and wondered why I needed that. I wasn’t a baby and the last thing I wanted to do was smell like one.


“Um… Kip…” I started to say. “Why the baby powder?”


“Well Ben, with cloth diapers you don’t have the benefit of the modern disposable diaper that wicks away fluid from your body. This way you won’t hopefully get a diaper rash, and that can be quite painful. That along with the diaper cream will keep that from happening.”


Somehow I had missed the diaper cream.


“Okay Kido, I am going to take off your pajama bottoms now. Are you okay with this Buddy?”


I nodded my head yes trying not to think of what was about to come. As he reached for my pj bottoms I suddenly remembered my GoodNite.


“Oh, I left my GoodNite on.” I informed him.


“That is no problem. I will take it off and clean you up before putting you into the cloth diapers. Just let me go wet a wash cloth real quick to wash you with.”


Kip found a washcloth in the room then left to get it wet. While he was out of the room, Steven and I tried to talk to AJ.


“Hey, are you going to be okay?” Steven asked.


“Yay, I’m fine.” He mumbled. “Sorry, I just panicked and froze.”


“Well at least you’re okay now.” I said, relieved that he was okay.


Before we could say much else, Kip had returned and went straight to work. I was a little embarrassed at first when he had removed my pajama bottoms and exposed my soaked GoodNite but it was about to become much worse.


I ended up closing my eyes tight as Kip tore one side of the GoodNite, then the other side. When he pulled the front of it back away from my skin, a shiver ran through me as my wet front was exposed. Next he pulled the back of the GoodNite out from underneath me. The used GoodNite was then set aside and the washcloth that was still hot and a little soapy was used to clean me up. It felt really weird having someone else washing my private parts and I did everything I could to try and drown the whole memory of the event out of my mind.


I didn’t start to feel better until I was covered again and you wouldn’t believe how happy I was to be in that diaper. Anything was better than being exposed like I was; take for instance when he started to sprinkle baby powder all over my front and then pulled my legs back to get my butt as well, it was downright humiliating. Of course I knew I would have to somehow get through it as I would have to go through the same thing for who knew how long on a nightly basis. The kicker though was when Kip applied the cream and AJ who seemed to be in a better mood suddenly shouted attention and saluted with Steven giggling like crazy next to him. They both broke out laughing and even Kip couldn’t help smiling though I could tell that he was trying his best not to.


Now thickly diapered and recovering from the whole shameful experience, I was about to hop of the table myself when Kip picked me up and held me in his arms as if he were my father.


“You know Ben, I am sorry for all the embarrassment you went through and I feel bad for allowing these two scoundrels…” At this he gave the guys the ‘I am watching you’ sign before patting me on my diapered butt and setting me on the floor. “…anyway, just know that happens to us all and you have nothing to feel ashamed about.”


Of course he had no idea what I had compared to what I now have. It is in my book something definitely to be ashamed of and I am sure if he were in my shoes as well, it would be in Kip’s book too!


I was checking out my new diaper when Kip held out a pair of plastic pants in front of me and I quickly realized that he wanted me to step into them. So, one foot at a time, I did exactly that. Once I had stepped into them, Kip pulled them up and over my diaper, making sure that all of my diaper was inside of the plastic pants. I was now fully protected for the night!


“Alright Ben, all done. Okay, you guys should probably head back to your room and go to bed. It is getting late and I will be up right after you to tell everyone else it is lights out.”


I started to move towards the door but as I did I couldn’t believe how bulky the diaper was between my legs. It was so thick that I found it hard to walk right; in fact, I started imaging myself waddling around like a duck. All I would have to do is go quack, quack, and I might even get mistaken for one in all that cloth! It didn’t help that the plastic pants were a clear yellow color.


“Ben, I think you forgot something.” I heard Kip call out as I started heading for the door.


As I turned, there he was holding out my pajama bottoms. Once again my face went bright red! Of course the guys couldn’t help themselves and didn’t stop laughing until I had pulled my pj bottoms back on.


I wasn’t the only one having trouble walking in those thick diapers, Steven too was walking just as funny. Also I would swear that everyone in the whole home could hear the noise that our plastic pants were making as we walked.


“Boy I am glad I don’t have to wear these during the daytime.” I told the guys after we made it back up to our room.


Both Steven and I decided to take a closer look at our diapers now that we had some privacy. I think we were both a little more curious than we led on to being while downstairs. Even AJ took a closer inspection.


“Wow that is a lot of pins!” AJ said in awe as he counted the 6 pins holding up each of our diapers. “I guess Kip didn’t want them to fall off.”


“Sounds like you still might want to wear one.” I hinted and smiled at him.


For a minute I think AJ was considering going back downstairs after all but once again, he chickened out of it.


“I don’t know… Wearing a diaper like that I think is a little too much too quick for me, maybe I should get use to wearing GoodNites first.” He suggested.


I took this as a sign.


“Are you saying you would wear one of my GoodNites?” I asked and before he could say no, went and grabbed one.


I don’t know if it was me holding out the GoodNite to him, or if it was because he really wanted to wear something, or if it was just because we plain wore him down, but AJ took the GoodNite from me and surprisingly changed into it. He had just pulled it on as Kip came in to tell us lights out. Of course AJ was embarrassed and didn’t even attempt to put his pj bottoms back on but instead dove underneath his covers. I am guessing he was hoping that he made it before Kip saw him, but from Kip’s smile as he waited for Steven and I to get in bed before he shut our light off, I knew he had definitely saw him.


The three of us talked for a little while but one by one, we each dropped off to sleep and I was happy to find that I slept peacefully through the whole night.



Chapter 15


I awoke early Saturday morning, well before anyone else was awake. Morning brought a whole new sensation to me; what it feels like to wake up with a very wet cloth diaper. At first, I worried it might of leaked considering how soaked it felt; but after feeling the sheet and bedding around me and finding it all still dry, I relaxed and found myself actually amazed at how much the diapers held throughout the night. Just to give you an idea, there was so much pee in my diaper that I am sure I had the contents of all the Great Lakes combined, inside of it!


I decided to get up but that alone turned out to be a chore in itself considering how bloated and heavy my diaper was. It took a few seconds, but I finally figured out how to wiggle myself out of bed and even move around a little with the now bulkier, heavy, and bloated material between my legs.


For a moment, I considered trying to take the diaper off myself and getting a shower before anyone else got up but after pulling off my pajama bottoms and running my fingers over the diaper pins and even attempting to try to remove one, I come to quickly realize how hard this was going to be for me and my small inexperience fingers. I knew I was not going to be able to remove the pins from the sodden material bulging around my waist. This failure also reminded me that I wasn’t supposed to remove the diaper but that someone else would be by to remove not only mine but Steven’s as well. We were told to expect that person sometime before they awaken the other boys that morning. I figured that it had to be getting about that time, considering how light it was getting in our room even with the shades and curtains drawn on the one window in our room.


Sure enough, it couldn’t have been even a half an hour or so later before someone, one of the staff I assumed that I had yet to meet, showed up in our room. I wasn’t sure what to do as the woman approached me, so I panicked and rushed towards my bed, for the protection of my covers. In the process of doing so though, I ended up running into Steven’s cot due to not paying attention to where I was going.


“What… Where… What just happened?!” Steven cried out in confusion as my collision with his bed jarred him awake.


Well... it didn’t help that I was also sprawled on top of him as well.


‘”Good, you’re both awake now.” The staff lady announced through a cheery smile that seemed genuine. “Now who is first?”


Don’t ask me why at that moment of all moments why but the lover of Comedy in me, especially that of Abbott and Costello, wanted desperately to do the ‘Who’s at First’ routine for this new person but seeing how young she looked, she couldn’t be more than 25, the whole thing would have gone over her head most likely and she would have had no idea what I was even talking about. For those who are interested though in a great comedy bit, please you need to check out Abbott and Costello’s ‘Who’s on First’ routine. For now, I decided instead to say nothing.


Steven who was barely awake was probably wondering what the fuck was going on and I noticed that he to, was not saying a word. That of course might be due to the fact that he was still trying to wake up. Then again it might have been due to the fact that my hand had somehow found itself plastered over his face due to my attempt to scramble back further as the lady approached us closer.


“Sorry Steven.” I mumbled barely over a whisper as I lifted my hand from his mouth and he glared at me.


“Well, it is up to you two if you want to be changed. If you guys want to stay in those dirty diapers then so be it, though I am sure they will start to leak and stink real bad eventually.” She giggled lightly.


I didn’t like this thought at all as I was pretty sure my diaper was already close to its max. I could see the same thoughts running through Steven’s eyes as well.


“I thought we were going to be changed by one of the Male staff?” I asked, not sure if I wanted this very young but good looking women looking at my shameful position I was currently in. That would be my diapered butt fully exposed for her and all the world to see!


Don’t get me wrong, as I wasn’t thinking of sex. I really did want my wife back, and you know what, I just realized that now. I truly want her back but there was no way she would ever take me back. Of course it didn’t stop me from longing and hoping she would.


“I am sorry sweetie, but it is just me and Mrs. Mathews this morning until Frank comes in at later at 10am.” The young lady stated, interrupting my thoughts but causing a whole slew of new ones.


Two major thoughts ran through my head right then. The first one was, could I possibly make it until Frank got there at 10am then let change me? The other one was, who was Frank, Mrs. Mathews, or for that matter, who is this crazy lady standing above me? For all I know she may have escaped from a looney tune home. My first thought was pretty quick to answer as I was starting to feel the need to take a morning dump and I did not want to have to do it in the diaper. Plus I wasn’t sure the diaper would make it through another wetting if I had one, which was pretty likely to happen between now and 10am. So that thought was out the window, which left my last one.


Three new people, Mrs. Mathews? Frank? The crazy Lady? Who were they? AJ never told me about anyone else but I guess I should have realized that other people worked here as well when it came to a place with as many boys as this one had. I guess the woman saw the confusion in my face and finally was able to see correctly what I was thinking.


“Oh that is right, you are new and haven’t met any of us yet.” She smiled. “Don’t worry sweetie, I swear we don’t bite… much!” Her smile grew even larger as she said this last part. “Anyway, my name is Kelly and do you want to know a secret?”


I couldn’t help it as I found myself curious to desperately know what this young good looking girl’s secret was, so I found myself asking her what it was. I also took this time to get the rest of the way off of Steven and make it the rest of the way to my bed, where instead of hiding myself under the covers, I sat on the edge of the bed.


“I am a sucker for little boys in diapers!” She giggled like a school girl once again.


All of this giggling she was doing and the way she was acting made me wonder if my original age estimate of Kelly was wrong. She definitely looked around her mid-twenties but the way she acted and held herself made her seem much younger than my original estimate of 25 years old. It seemed more likely that she might be closer to 17 or 18, maybe even younger by the way she was acting. I of course didn’t think this would be the case as I didn’t think the State would allow someone so young to work in a home for boys in a capacity such as this. Unless my good friend Mike had something to do with this and made a 13 year old girl older, the same way he made me younger. Then again, maybe my original thought of her being an escaped lunatic might be correct and she just happened to be out looking for fresh brains since they zapped all hers away!


I heard the springs creak as AJ started to wake up and move around, considering how loud Steven held yelled out a few minutes earlier, I wouldn’t be surprised if half the dorm wasn’t awake now.


“Morning Kelly.” AJ mumbled sleepily.


Steven, who had been surprisingly quiet for the last several seconds, suddenly let out a soft snore which AJ and I giggled at. I don’t know why I found it funny but for some reason I did, maybe somehow being in my kid form I am finally tapping into my old kid psyche as well.


“It looks like I lost one.” Kelly giggled as well.


AJ and I both looked at each other and then burst out laughing at Kelly’s comment. Our laughing it turned out was loud enough to reawaken Steven.


“Come on guys! Will you cut that out?! How in the world is a guy supposed to sleep around here?!” Steven whined. Why are you guys laughing like a couple hyenas anyways?” He demanded.


“I think I will start with you first Honey.” Kelly told Steven as she walked over to him.


Steven looked a little frightened but to be honest my apprehension that I had been feeling seemed to be all but forgotten and now all I wanted to do was make Steven feel more relaxed and calm.


“Don’t worry Steven, she is cool and I am sure she will note bite as she promised.” And as I told Steven this, I winked at Kelly who smiled back at me.


What happened next happened very quickly. What looked very hard for me, Kelly made look like a walk on the beach. After pulling down Steven’s blankets and exposing his diaper, remember that we decided to not wear pajamas last night, she unfolded a matt that I hadn’t noticed that she had and put it under Steven’s diapered butt. She then removed his plastic pants and quickly removed each pin one by one. I saw Steven shiver as she pulled back the front of his very wet diaper, he could actually give me a run for my money, and started to remove the wet cloth from underneath him. After collecting the diaper pins and putting them in a pocket in her apron she pointed at me.


“Your next.” She said to me then turned back to Steven. “Okay Sweetie, get up and put the diaper on my cart outside the room on your way to get your shower.” She then looked back at me as Steven got up from the bed and did as he was told. “Okay Baby Boy, hop up on the bed and place your diapered butt on the changing pad.” She sing sang in a sweet girly voice.


This time I obeyed without no objection.


As Kelly removed my diaper, a thought occurred to me and without thinking I blurted it out before considering the ramifications of doing so or whose feelings I might be possibly hurting.


“AJ, how did you do last night? Did the Goodnight work for you?”


At my angle I could clearly see his face, that is until he flung himself backwards onto his bed while turning bright red from either embarrassment or anger, not sure which one. He had been on his side looking down at us from his bed but now he was hidden from my view so I couldn’t see what he was doing, I just knew he was very quiet which I took as not a good sign. I also knew as soon as I saw his reaction what I did wrong and mentally kicked myself for doing it. I would do anything for Michael J Fox to show up with a DeLorean with a plutonium core at that moment. Unfortunately, it was too late now and I couldn’t go back in time, at least not without Mike’s help, either Mike!


“AJ darling, are you actually wearing protection?” Kelly asked with definite surprise in her voice. “So, how did you do?” She repeated my question for me.


AJ Mumbled something but I wasn’t able to understand what he said. It sounded as if he had his face in his pillow, which I am sure was the case. I just hope he didn’t want to kill me later for what I had done.


You know, I was so wrapped up in my thoughts about AJ; that I hadn’t noticed that Kelly had finally finished removing my diaper.


“Alright Baby Boy; go get that stinky butt of yours in the shower while I talk to your little friend here.” As an afterthought she added, “Don’t forget to take your wet diaper out and put it on the cart”


I nodded my head and got up and grabbed the heavy well used diaper and headed out the room.


I really wanted to stay and make sure AJ was okay but I also wanted to get my shower finished before anyone got up. It was uncomfortable enough the yesterday morning and so I would prefer to get my shower over before too many other boys started to show up.


The cart was right outside the door and I had expected to see only 1 diaper, Steven’s on it. Instead I saw 4 diapers. This puzzled me as I thought that the three of us boys were the only current bed wetter’s at the home and then I remembered that the 3 new boys that came in the same day with me and wondered if they were the mystery bed wetter’s. I noticed something else about the diapers on the cart, one if not more had an earthy smell which I knew right away meant that it had been pooped in. Part of me wanted to check to see how many were actually pooped in and another part of me was grossed out at the thought of me just having that thought! Instead I wiped it from my mind and decided to pretend I never had it to begin with. As for the diapers on the cart and who they belong to, there was a possibility they were still in the shower.


“Well, there is only one way to find out.” I thought to myself as I dropped my diaper on the cart and ran towards the shower in hopes of catching a glimpse of the other 3 boys who wore those mystery diapers.


I was almost sure that I was going to get to the bathroom only to find out that they had long finished their showers and all I would find would be Steven wrapping up his own. I know that sounds terrible of me, I shouldn’t sound disappointed in seeing my friends but I so wanted to see who the other diapers belonged too. I mean, wouldn’t be funny if one of them belonged to Peter and it turned out that he was a secret bedwetter himself. I know that this was not true as I was sure it would not be possible for Peter to hide something like that for very long. Still, I found the thought hilarious. So anyway, when I walked into the bathroom, I was pleasantly surprised to see that 2 of the boys were still there, there was no trace of the third boy however. One boy was one of the boys that came in the same night I did and the other was a boy that turned out would be in the same school as me just in the 5th grade. I have of course seen both boys at meal time but never had I official met either one of them or talked to them. I didn’t even know their names. I decided maybe it was time that I got to know these two finally and so I hung up my towel and entered the shower.


“Hi there, my name is Ben.” I introduced myself as I began to rinse my body down.


“Tyler!” The boy who had been here before me shouted. “That’s my name.” He then pointed to the boy who came the same night as me. “His name is Cody.”


Tyler gave me a goofy smile and waved at me.


“You of course know your roommate Steven already.” Cody joked.


Cody and Tyler were already done washing but they ended up staying until Steven and I were finished. We had hoped that AJ would be joining us shortly but because we were all afraid of being spotted by early risers, we decided to head on back to our respective rooms and carry on with our conversation later.


When Steven and I walked into the room, we found AJ putting the finishing touches on making his bed and I could see the pile of bedding on the floor where he put it. I knew instantly what had happened.


“I am really sorry AJ. I didn’t mean to blab earlier and I am also sorry that you leaked.” I tried to apologize and hoped that he accepted it. “I guess GoodNites are just not going to work for you. In my case, there was no way they were ever going to fully work for me for night time use.”


“I should rip your tongue out of your throat for telling Kelly what you did but at least it was her and not some of the others we have here.” AJ growled at me and I wasn’t fully sure if he was joking or not.


“Maybe you should wear a cloth diaper like me and Ben.” Steven cautiously suggested knowing how touchy the subject was for AJ. “At least you won’t have to worry about anymore wet beds. I mean, I flooded my diaper last night big time and my bed was still dry this morning.”


“I know, that is what Kelly and I were talking about while you guys were showering. She convinced me that I need to at least try the cloth once and that she would even come back tonight and put me in it herself just to make me feel more comfortable.”


“Wow, she said that? That is really nice of her and she is pretty good because I never thought I would feel that easy with a girl changing me but with her, I found it easier to accept it and let her change me.” I tried to explain.


“Yeah, she is really good at that. She knows exactly how to calm a kid and make them feel more comfortable.” AJ agreed.


I was coming to realize now that the whole giggling young girl thing was just an act she used to help relax kids so that they would accept her role in taking care of them and their needs easier.


“I am going to grab a quick shower. I will see you two yahoos in a bit.” AJ laughed, grabbed his towel, and walked out the door.




Saturday went by pretty quickly and before we knew it, it was bedtime once again.


We had spent a good portion of that day trying to find out why the sudden change in Peter but it seemed that no one quite knew the answer to that one. Many of the boys were happy though for a change and it seemed for now that no one was yet stepping up to replace his spot in the bully ring. Probably because they were too afraid of what Peter might do to them if they did. No one knew either, if this change was permanent or not, though everyone we talked to hoped it was, including a couple staff members. Anyway, we finally gave up on that, at least for then and spent the rest of the day getting to know our new two best friends, Cody and Tyler.


Oh, by the way, I never did find out who the 3rd diaper belonged too. Both Cody and Tyler saw it on the cart as well before they stopped and dropped theirs off and neither of them saw the boy it belonged to so he must have got in the shower and out really quick, or maybe he didn’t take one at all. I also learned that the 3 boys that came the same day as me, that I had thought were brothers were in fact not. It turned out that Cody was with the 2 boys, who were brothers, and just happened to be picked up that day along with them. Then, when they all showed up here together, everyone just assumed he was the third brother, including some staff here, who I guess hadn’t yet been filled in on the details. Since Cody had just met them that evening and wasn’t really in a very talkative mood, he really didn’t know anything about the boys other than their names, which the older one was Scott and the younger brother was Jeffery. Because of this, he knew very little about the boys and that the 3rd diaper could easily belong to either one of them.


Like I said, we talked about that for a while but we also did other things as well. For starters, we started off the day, once we had finished breakfast by joining several other boys in watching Saturday morning cartoons. I have to say this; cartoons have changed a lot since I was a kid. Every time a commercial came on, AJ gently nudged me and whispered into my ear, reminding me to try and use the bathroom. I never got upset with him about this either as I knew he was trying to help me do a better job at keeping myself dry and clean. Even still, by the time the cartoons were finished that morning, I still ended up needing a change, as I found more often than not that I was peeing during the cartoons and not able to do so during the commercial.


After the cartoons is when we started our investigation, well actually we started right away that morning, we just put it on hold while the cartoons were on. We even considered going to Peter and asking him directly when everything else failed to bring us any closer to an answer but after talking it over, we decided we were too young to die just now. For his part, Peter kept his word and left us alone, in fact, he was what could be classified as, ‘the perfect little angel’ and did not bother anyone in the home at all that whole day. He instead did all of his chores and punishments without complaint, and not only that, he was cheery about it!


As the evening approached, we talked and played board games. AJ also reminded all of us that tomorrow was Sunday and Church and that we would be able to wear our good clothes and hear Father Caleb’s sermon. To be honest, I wasn’t looking forward to the sermon and being bored to death, but I didn’t mind the idea of seeing Father Caleb again. He was good to me and if it were not for him, I don’t think I would have been in such a nice place right now. Seeing him would give me a chance to thank him properly.


Another thing I learned that day was that Cody, who was 12 by the way, was a very heavy nighttime bed wetter like myself and up until a couple years ago, even had occasional daytime wetting accidents. About 3 years ago, he finally got approved through a state funded program for a surgery that fixed a problem with a weakened sphincter muscle and because of that, he was finally able to become dry during the day and they now believe that he will eventually be dry at night as well. Tyler on the other hand is bowel incontinent along with being enuretic and needs them during the day as well as at night. Like me, he wears GoodNites during the day since he has no daytime bladder problems, this makes it easy for him to use the toilet to pee and also easy to change when he has an accident. He did admit that there have been times where he has had to go bad and just peed in the GoodNite versus trying to hold it until he could go to the bathroom.


Now you would think with my wetting issue and how bad it was, that I would have used more GoodNites that day than Tyler did but you would be wrong. In fact Tyler used 2 more than I did. Boy could that boy poop a lot! Unlike with me though, a staff member would come around occasionally and give Tyler a look, and without saying a word, Tyler would get up and follow the person out of the room. Sometimes Tyler would show back up right away, other times he would be gone for several minutes. Now when we were alone, Tyler explained that they were checking his diaper privately and if needed, changing him. This way they could make sure he was properly cleaned. Since he was pooping all the time, they didn’t want him not getting it all. It was easier and faster than having to take a shower after each dirty diaper. The school nurse took care of his changes and cleaning him up while he was at school.


As bedtime quickly approached, I wondered if AJ would really go through with wearing a diaper this time. So far Kelly had yet to show up but it was still about a half hour before we needed to worry about getting into our night diapers so we continued our game of Poker, which I taught the guys how to play. We had to use Monopoly money in place of chips but we made it work for us.


We had been playing for a bit when we were interrupted by one of the boys who had barged into the room excitedly and ran over to AJ.


“AJ, I just heard the news!” He said in enthusiastic excitement. “Peter is leaving the home!”


My first thought when I heard this was of course negative. I had figured Peter had gone back to his old bully ways like predicted and he was once again in trouble. This time though, it sounded like he might have went too far!


“So who did he beat up?” I asked, feeling sorry for the poor kid but at the same time feeling great that it wasn’t me or Steven.


“That is just it, He didn’t beat up anyone. He in fact hasn’t touched a hair on anyone’s head.” The boy, whose name I just remembered was Christian, stated.


He then went on to tell us what he heard.


It turned out that Peter himself was the one who revealed this information. All it took was someone brave or stupid enough to finally ask him. That person turned out to be Charles, another one of the older boys who could easily take over Peter’s top bully spot once he was gone. Though I do have to say that I am at least off his radar, Don’t ask me how I lucked out on that because I am not about to ask him to find out.


As Charles told it, Peter told him and a few others that his brother was just released from prison and since he served his full sentence inside, he is not required to serve any parole or probation time. This meant that he could now go and move in with his brother once he gets his own place. The hope was that his brother would get a place sometime before the end of next week and hopefully much sooner than that if at all possible. His brother than made him promise that he would be on his best behavior as the State was being slow with the paperwork and he didn’t want any of Peter’s bad behavior to hold it up even more. This was why Peter has been acting so nice recently to everyone, because as far as he could see, he was on his way home soon and would do anything to make it happen sooner rather than later.


I couldn’t help thinking to myself that, “To be honest, I couldn’t blame the kid either. I just hope everything works out with him and his brother and he ends up down a better road.”


I was having this thought as we were finishing up a game of poker and suddenly the Ace of Hearts in my hand turned into none other than Mike.


“About time you start to think of someone else besides yourself.” Mike shouted up from the playing card.


Nervously, my eyes darted around, looking at each of the guys and checking to see if there was any hint on their faces that they might have just heard one of my playing cards talk.


“Don’t worry, they can’t see or hear me. Remember, I am tuned into you, not them.” Mike smirked.


“Shhh, can’t you see I am playing cards with my friends here.” I whispered as lightly as I could in hopes to keep the others from overhearing.


Unfortunately that didn’t work like I wanted it to.


“What did you say Ben?” Steven looked at me quizzically.


I just shook my head, “Sorry, thinking out loud.”


I then returned my attention to my playing cards and Mike who was looking around at the other cards in my hand. When he saw that I was once again looking back at him again, he returned his attention to me and grinned.


“Not a bad hand, too bad you will have to fold.” Mike tutted.


If I could have, I would have argued with him right there and then but first, I was with friends and they would find me quite odd if I started yelling at a playing card. Second, I am talking about a magical being that I have no understanding of and in no way could possibly ever top. I knew if Mike wanted to badly enough, he could make me do whatever he wanted, so I decided it would be best to just go willingly.


“Uh guys, I need to go to the bathroom so I am going to just fold this hand.” I announced.


“You don’t need to fold Ben, we will wait for you.” AJ stated supportively.


“No, don’t bother. I need to do number 2 and it might be a while.” I explained through a red face.


If only things could have been left at that but there suddenly came a bout of snickering from my playing cards and when I looked down at them, I saw Mike in a fit of laughter which he was trying to muffle with by the use of another nearby playing card in my hand. Knowing what it would sound like to try and say something to him just at that moment, especially now that I had the guy’s attention, I did my best to ignore it but scowled just the same as I threw my hand in.


“Go ahead and play without me, I will be back as quickly as I can.” I said as I got up and left the room.


I was headed towards not the upstairs bathroom, but the downstairs one that would rarely be used at this time of night since most of the boys were now upstairs due to the TV being shut off now for the evening. Something to do with Church and how they always turn the TV off on Saturday night an hour before bedtime. I guess they feel that we should spend that hour in quiet meditation with our lord or maybe they just want a little peace themselves one night a week before putting us to bed; whatever the reason was, that was the rule; no TV an hour before bed on Saturday night. Because of this, I found out from AJ and Tyler that no one hardly ever stays downstairs and hangs out in the TV/Game room. Sure enough, it was quiet as a mouse downstairs and all the lights that were not needed to be on, were turned off. Including those in the TV/Game room. This meant that there was a good chance that the bathroom was free and I could use it for our little conversation.


As expected, as I entered the bathroom and snapped on the light, it was completely void of human life. Now when I say human life I figure that Mike, who was standing at one of the urinals with his back to me, was nowhere near human so he don’t count. Now that was something that just didn’t make sense to me, why would a being like Mike ever need to pee? I didn’t think about it too long though, I just got right down to business.


“So, what did I do to earn this pleasure of your presence?” I asked annoyed. “I mean, why is it you can’t come when I need you but you show up and interrupt me when I am in the middle of something?”


“Sorry there Benji, I have been busy; you think you’re the only one someone like me needs to help?” He smirked.


I just glared at him as he zipped up his zipper, flushed, and turned to face me. I knew there were several things I wanted to ask him but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember not one of them now.


“It figures!” I stated quietly to myself.


“What was that?” Asked Mike and from the way he was grinning, I was sure he already knew. “I thought you said you had to poop?” He continued to grin as he needled me. I think you should take a squat and we will talk while you are doing your business. I mean, you don’t want to have another messy diaper later … do you?”


From the way he said that it almost made me think he might be more personally involved in my having accidents than I realized. I had thought all along that it was possibly due to the fact I was reverted to an age where I had trouble like that but now I am wondering if it is actually all Mike’s fault.


“You would like to believe that wouldn’t you? No taking responsibility for your own self at all. Haven’t you learned anything?” Mike tutted and interrupted my thoughts.


“Just tell me what you want so I can get back to my friends!” I hissed through clenched teeth.


“Okay but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”


I really was thinking I should take his suggestion but I just couldn’t do it with him watching over me, it just weirded me out, so I decided that I could wait until after we finished our talk and before I went back upstairs.


“Anyway, I wanted to let you in on a secret. Earlier tonight, you were for once for a brief moment, on the right path and I want to see you back on it again, the sooner the better as this is starting to get old, even for me! Let me give you a clue, it is not all about yourself! Wake up and smell the coffee, there are others out there besides you and they are in just as much diaper doodoo as you! I hope this will get you thinking.”


And with that mouthful, Mike was gone.


Mike did give me a lot to think about though, as I made my way back upstairs I realized that I had been focused way too much on myself, yes there have been times that I have thought of others, but they were very brief and usually followed by me think about myself again. So what was different tonight? What did I do that made a big difference?


I was so lost in this question that I totally forgot all about using the toilet. By the time I got back to the room, all was put out of my mind and a smile was put on my face as I was happy to see Kelly had made it like she had promised AJ. She along with the other night person was there to put us in our cloth diapers. I got back just in time to see her start diapering AJ and the night person start diapering Steven. I was amazed as I watched AJ getting diapered, and even better, he seemed to be enjoying it! It turned out that Kelly was faster and better so therefor done before the other Staff person so she started on my diaper next. At some point getting my diapers put on, the other Staff member left our room and I assume went on to diaper the other diaper boys in the home.


“I thought we had to go downstairs to that room to get our diapers put on?” I asked as she finished up with me and had me slip my rubber pants over the diaper making sure all of the cloth was inside of them.


“No, we can do it up here if you wish, we only do it down there if you want to do it that way.” She informed me.


“Oh,” was all I could think of in response.


Kelly smiled and said goodnight before turning off our light and shutting our door.


I yawned, I didn’t realize how tired I was until that moment. It had been a long day. I had been a day of questions, some answered, some not. Tomorrow work on them. For now, it was time to go to bed.



Chapter 16


Sunday morning felt rushed. From the moment we were woken that morning to the moment we walked into the church, it was a constant parade of things we had to get done before we had to leave. I guess part of it was due to Kelly waking us up a little late that morning. She never fully explained why she woke us up later but when she finally got me out of my very wet diaper and sent me on my way to get cleaned up, I had a pretty good Idea why. Like the day before, once she had me out of my diaper and cleaned up, I was sent to take my shower and as reminded, I took my used dirty diaper out to the cart in the hall, it was there on the cart that gave me the first good clue as to why she was running late that morning.


Like yesterday, there were other diapers on the cart but this time, there were more than what I saw yesterday morning! Since I was the second one to have my diaper taken off with AJ being the first, Steven was being grouchy again and didn’t want to wake up, there were of course our two diapers. But… and this was what really surprised me, there were also 5 other diapers this morning, for a total of 7. Again the cart had a very strong earthy smell which to me suggested that either one diaper was really filled with the raunchiest stinky poop or that maybe more than one diaper was pooped in. Once again I had the strong urge to check and see if there was more than one poopy diaper on the cart. The only thing stopping me was the knowledge that Steven would soon be out and I didn’t want to be caught in the act of going through the dirty diapers on the cart, checking them for poop. Plus, a big part of me still found the idea of doing this… well… you know… kind of gross. Anyway, I had a pretty good idea that 2 of the diapers most likely belonged to my two new friends, Cody and Tyler and 1 probably belonged to the mystery kid from yesterday but who did the other 2 diapers belong to? This meant we now had a total of 3 new mystery diaper wearers! It made me also wonder if there had been other diaper wearers all along here at the home but somehow they managed to hide the evidence better than others have. Unlike some of us who hadn’t been so lucky and became easy quick targets.


Talking about poopy diapers by the way, I also knew that the poopy diaper, if it was just one, could also easily belong to Tyler. That is if I was right and that one of the diapers there was even Tyler’s diaper to begin with.


It really pains me to say this, but I wish I had taken Mike’s advice. He had after all advised me to poop before going to bed last night and even though I acted like I was against the idea with him as I felt he was trying to control me or maybe even make me do what he says by proving to me that if I don’t, bad things will happen. Even so, I had planned on trying to void my bowels last night but I wasn’t going to do so in his presence and was trying to wait until after he had left, somehow though at some point I just forgot about his suggestion and my trying after all to take his advice. Last night I slept so soundly, I don’t think a freight train running right passed my head, followed by an F-5 tornado would have awakened me. So I didn’t even think twice about my need to poop or the lack of needing to void my bowels this morning. In fact I woke up right away when I heard Kelly come into our room and watched as she made her way to our bed but instead of bending down to my bunk, I heard her as she tried to wake up AJ and ask him if his bed was wet and if his bedding needed to be changed.


“Huh…” AJ mumbled groggily as he was still very much asleep and was not able to process what Kelly was asking him.


“Baby, do you need to get up and get your bedding changed this morning. We don’t have a lot of time so I need you to please hurry up or I will have to physically get you up and I don’t want to have to do that to you sweetie. So please, can you wake up enough to answer me this one question before I have you start to get ready for Church? Do you need to change your bedding this morning or not?” Kelly explained to him and then asked him kindly but also in an urgent manner.


Of course AJ wasn’t able to respond fast enough for Kelly and several seconds later after it was obvious that either AJ had fallen back to sleep or was just not able to answer her yet, she sighed deeply.


“AJ, if you can hear me baby, all I am doing right now is seeing if your bedding and PJ’s are dry. I am not trying to do anything else. Please, if you understand, let me know.”


At first I was afraid that all she was going to get was more static like she had gotten with her last question but was happy when I heard him say, “Uh-huh, I understand.”


“AJ, you were a good boy last night, your bed is nice and dry…” Kelly started to say but stopped suddenly and didn’t say anything for several seconds and I wondered why but soon everything was answered in her next statement. “Well no wonder your bed was dry last night Honey! It was a good thing that you were wearing that cloth diaper and plastic pants, from the look of it, you would have certainly soaked your bed last night and I bet you slept a lot better through the night than you have been.” I wasn’t sure if this was a question or not but if it was I never knew what AJ’s response was to it as he didn’t voice anything, at least not that I could hear from my bed.


Later that morning, I talked to AJ about his night in the cloth diaper and plastic pants and how it felt to be in one when not being forced into it but wearing it on his own terms. He didn’t say much as we were obviously in a hurry but he did tell me that it wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be. Still it didn’t seem to me that he wasn’t 100% convinced that he would be better off wearing a diaper. I think even after he had proof of our soggy wet diapers not leaking that morning, he still did not believe the cloth diaper would hold all his pee until he checked his bed.


“See, we told you that the diaper would keep your bed dry!” I giggled.


AJ just gave me a dirty look in response. Like I said, I didn’t get much from him as we were in a hurry that morning and that was later after we got out of the shower and right now I want to focus on what happened after she was done cleaning up AJ.


“Okay Hun. I am running a little behind so you need to hurry down to the shower now if you want to get one before the rest of the boys get up.” Kelly told AJ, who was now standing in front of her in nothing but his birthday suit.


AJ nodded his head and started for the door to the room before Kelly stopped him.


“AJ, I think you are forgetting a few things.” Kelly giggled as AJ looked at her with a weird look on his face then suddenly it seemed like a thought dawned on him as he looked down at his nudity and blushed.


AJ quickly grabbed his towel and wrapped it around himself and again was about to walk out the door before Kelly again stopped him.


“Don’t forget your diaper and plastic pants.” She reminded AJ as she held them out to him with one of her gloved hands and waited until AJ took the articles from her and gave her a weak smile in which she returned with one of her warm and genuine friendly smiles. Being in the hurry that she was, she then was able to move her attention to her next target.


That turned out to be me and even though she told AJ to hurry and get his shower, he hung back and watched over her shoulder. I am not sure if Kelly was too happy with this, but I know that I myself was totally not okay with it. You would think by now that I should be used to this humiliation but I guess the fact that he seemed so interested in me getting cleaned up really was just a little more humiliating then I could handle at that moment.


As Kelly removed my plastic pants a new strong smell hit the room. Granted, the smell was probably already present and Kelly most likely had noticed it when she had entered the room, but for the three of us boys, we had all night or at least a few hours to acclimate, or in other words, get use to the weaker smell of my poopy diaper. But when my plastic pants were removed, we were able to get a much stronger version of the smell and there was no mistake at what that smell was.


“Looks like someone had an oopsie and did a little more than peepee last night.” Kelly giggled in her girly way and I knew, like I had already learned, that it was done in a way not to make fun of me but to try and make me feel not ashamed of myself for what I had done.


AJ, who of course was still standing right there just off to the side of Kelly, burst out laughing at what she said!


“AJ, I thought I told you to go and take your shower! Now go and take your diaper and put it on the cart like I told you and get your little naked butt in the shower!” She repeated her instructions to him once again but did so in a fit of giggles.


“Yes Ma’am!” AJ said and saluted her before finally leaving the room with his diaper and finally looking more awake than he had since getting up that morning.


For me, even though I could smell the poop, I couldn’t believe I did it. For the life of me, I didn’t remember pooping myself last night or even for that matter needing to poop! Well, I did have a small need to go before going to bed now come to think of it. I am sure it was caused by the power of suggestion by Mike, even so, it wasn’t that bad and in the past I have had many time, even as a kid gone to bed with a similar feeling and was always able to get through the night or if it was urgent enough, always able to wake up, even when my bladder wasn’t able to wake me, my bowels were! I guess you can say my mind refused to believe the smell came from me or at least that it was poop. It wasn’t until after Kelly had removed all the pins and opened the front of my diaper that I had to face reality. There between my legs was a huge mound of the nasty brown stuff and plenty of it had been smeared all over my bottom and boy parts.


“Tut! Tut! Tut! Boy, Little One, you sure are making my job tough this morning!” She chided but then saw the worried look on my face before laughing a little and then telling me, “Don’t be so serious Little One. You need to realize when people are just frustrated at the situation and not at you personally. Besides, I could never be mad at such a cutie as you.” She informed me as she pinched my cheeks like an elderly Grandmother would do.


Even though I could tell she was not making fun of me or not upset at me for pooping, I still found the whole thing embarrassing. It is one thing to be cleaned up from a wet diaper but to be cleaned up from a messy one is a totally different experience. I knew one thing for sure, from now on that I would listen better to what Mike told me. He had warned me about this and I just blew it off.


Amazingly, even though I had pooped, it still didn’t take her much longer to clean me up. Don’t get me wrong, it took some time but nowhere near as long as I thought it would. When she did finally get my butt cleaned she gave me the same instructions she gave AJ.


“Okay Sweetie, take your diaper and put it on the cart outside the door and get your butt in the shower.” She stated then added, “Oh, and make sure you wash your butt and diaper area real good so that we can make sure that all the poop is cleaned off. I am good but I am not perfect.” she winked as she said this.


So that meant that as I dumped my dirty diaper on the cart, it wasn’t by close the only poopy diaper on that cart. I would bet my life on it that at least one more besides mine and Tyler’s was messy. I then headed towards the bathroom and the showers in hopes of finding out more about the mystery diapers.


As I expected, I found AJ along with Cody and Tyler in the shower along with some new kid I don’t ever remember seeing before. He looked about my current age and I wondered when he showed up, of course it was obvious that it was sometime during the night. As I walked into the shower and got under a nozzle he smiled at me.


“Good morning Ben, this is Alastair, he is 10 years old.” Tyler informed me. “He used to live here before but got placed into a foster home but now he is back.” He added.


“Hi Ben.” Alastair said through a toothy smile and waved at me. “So you are part of the ‘Diaper Squad’?”


“Huh?” I asked as I started to soap up my body, making sure to soap up my diaper area extra well.


“The ‘Diaper Squad’, us morning boys who get up before everyone else because of our diapers.” He explained.


“Oh, I see. I guess I am then.” I agreed after a moment’s thought and pausing in my washing of myself.


At that moment Steven showed up and blurted out without even thinking or seeing who was even in the room first, “Man, Ben, your poopy diaper really stunk up our room!” he shouted loud enough that I am sure the whole house probably heard.


At that moment two thoughts entered my head. The first one was, wait until I get you alone Steven. The second thought was, if it were possible to make a hole open up and swallow me at that moment!


I don’t even think Steven understood what he did wrong even after he entered the shower and was introduced to the new kid Alastair. As for me, my face was bright red with embarrassment.


“Don’t feel so bad. I have the same problem but I have to wear diapers all the time because I have no control of my bowels or bladder whatsoever!” Alastair tried to explain and comfort me. “I wear the cloth ones at night and then during the day I wear disposable tape on diapers. The most embarrassing part of it is that I have to be checked and changed by someone all the time.”


That did sound bad and I quickly found myself feeling sorry for the poor kid. His details of all the embarrassment he had to go through was actually very helpful to me as it got me to stop thinking about myself and instead about someone else. This trick of the mind worked and cured me of my embarrassment, at least for that time. Of course it did make me feel very bad for Alastair as I hated to see anyone go through life like that.


“I am sorry you have to go through all of that. I kinda know how you feel as I have to wear GoodNites during the day for wetting accidents but I can at least change those myself, so I can see how it could be worse.” I explained.


“Don’t worry about me, it is life. I have been like this all my life. I just wish my last foster family could have accepted it better.” Alastair stated matter-of-factly. “They did know about my problem before they took me and I have to give them credit, they put up with it for over 2 months but I guess it was just a little too much for them in the long run. They had their own toddler to look after and at first they thought because of that it would be a breeze to change me alongside him as well but in the end it became more of a chore to them that they were just not able to handle.” He explained.


I know he told me not to worry about him but after that, I couldn’t help but do just that! He went on to further tell us that he had been a Ward of the State since he himself had been a baby when his own parents had abandoned him. So far the State had not successfully found out who they even were. Of course Alastair didn’t look at it as a bad thing. He was upbeat about it as he figured that he was better off where he is at then with a mother or father who could care two craps about him. Of course there was the problem of where he would be staying at, now that the home was beyond capacity. For now I didn’t bring up that question, I had other questions more important that I wanted to ask.


Cody looked half asleep that morning so I decided to ask Tyler instead.


“So Tyler, did you guys see who the other 2 diapers belong to?” I asked.


Tyler frowned and for a split moment I felt like there might be something he might know that he wasn’t telling us. I felt the same thing yesterday when we talked about the diapers and diaper boys in the home but it was probably due to my imagination being re-awoken.


Ultimately it wasn’t Tyler though who answered my question, it was Alastair.


“There was another young boy in here, said his name was Jeffery. He left shortly after your friend here... ” At this, he pointed at AJ. “…got here.”


“Yah, you just missed him.” AJ added.


“Don’t worry; he didn’t say much so you didn’t miss anything.” Tyler finally said something.


“Yah, pretty much the same thing he did the night we came here.” Cody added. “I think him and his brother might be real shy.”


“So we know that he is at least a bedwetter then, so maybe the other diaper belongs to his brother.” I suggested.


“Other diaper, I guess you must have missed the disposable diaper in the trash bag then.” Alastair stated.


My eyes bugged out, I wasn’t sure how in the world I could have missed that. Now it made me wonder if there were also other disposable diapers I might have missed yesterday as well. So that meant we still had at least 2 mystery diaper wearers. I couldn’t help but ask the next question.


“Were any of the other diapers poopy before you guys added your diapers to the pile?”


AJ smirked as I asked the question and I think that Cody even as sleepy as he looked was about to burst out laughing. Steven and Tyler did laugh; Alastair seemed to be the only one who remained serious.


“Well, I was the first one of us guys in to the shower and all I saw was Jeffery, no one else, so the other 2 must have been real quick or woke up extra early. As for the diapers, all I can say was mine was pretty stinky so I can’t tell you if any of the other diapers were messy or not. But I will say that the disposable diaper in the trash was wrapped in a small plastic bag and that usually means that it is due to an extra messy diaper. Of course it could also be due to a very wet diaper to the extreme that it was leaking all over the place.” Alastair did his best explain to me.


“So did Jeffery say anything other than tell you his name?” I asked trying to needle more information about the young boy.


“Sorry there Ben, but the kid was tight lipped as usual.” Cody stated through a yawn. “Ever since he and his brother have been here, they haven’t said two words to anyone that I have noticed.” He added and yawned again.


“Damn it Cody! Stop that! You are starting to make me tired!”  Tyler yelled at him then yawned himself. “See!”


We must have been in the shower longer than we realized because suddenly 3 other boys showed up and I knew that soon it would be grand central station in here.


“Hey guys, I think we overstayed our welcome here.” I then nodded towards the new guys coming into the shower. “I don’t know about you but I think I am done.”


I had totally forgotten to wash my hair that morning but it wasn’t my hair that I peed or pooped on so I figured it would be okay for today, besides a kid at my age didn’t have to worry as much about oil and sweat glands like I did when I was in my adult form.


Anyway, I grabbed my towel and quickly dried myself then wrapped the towel around my small skinny waist a few times before hurrying towards my room. I wasn’t in there 2 minutes before AJ showed up followed by Steven.


“You were right, not more than 30 seconds after you left; every boy in the Home seemed to have wanted to use the bathroom all at once.” AJ announced as he entered the room. “Everyone decided it was best to just do what you did and leave; besides we do need to get ready as there never seems to be enough time in the morning on Sundays.” He added.


“Why is it so busy?” I asked.


I myself was still sitting in my towel but I watched as AJ hurried to put on his clothes. What amazed me was that he didn’t put on his good clothes but instead put on some regular clothes. I think that Steven was just as confused as I was with the whole clothes thing.


“AJ, you are putting on the wrong clothes, did you fall back to sleep?” I laughed.


My laughter didn’t faze AJ one bit. It was as if putting on the wrong clothes was his intentions all along. Steven didn’t join me in my laughter but he did break out in a smile at my attempt to be funny


“If you two yahoos want to get your good clothes dirty at breakfast, be my guest, I for one don’t like getting mine dirty!” He shot back at me and continued to get dressed.


To be honest, what he said did make sense and so I decided to also put on my normal clothes for breakfast as well. Of course I did not know that it would mean less time to fiddle fart around after breakfast as we would have to spend that time quickly getting changed before the van left for the church.


I would like to say that other than rushing from getting changed from one outfit to the other was the only thing worth telling that happened that morning before entering the Church doors but there was one more thing that happened right after breakfast and shortly after getting dressed into my good clothes, if you can call what I was wearing good clothes. Normally I would consider wearing nothing but a suit as something appropriate for church. Don’t get me wrong, I had on slacks and a button up shirt but it was obvious that they were old and more worthy of play clothes than they were of a place of worship. Anyway, I am getting distracted from that one thing that happened that is worth telling before we all piled into the van and headed off to the church. As I was saying, I was in our room finishing up getting dressed when Kelly came in.


“Benji, can you come down and see me in the office for a minute. I would like to talk to you privately.” She asked somberly with no trace of giggle in her voice.


I looked over at Steven then at AJ who just shrugged his shoulders as if to say, “I have no clue Man!”


Not knowing what else to do, I just worriedly followed Kelly out of our room and downstairs to the office. Her use of my hated nickname bothered me but then again she did not know yet how much I despised that name so I allowed it for the time being; besides right now I was more concerned about why I was being called out of my room. Now I expected her to go to the office as she had stated but she confused me further when she instead headed towards the clothes room. My first thought was that they were going to give me some different clothes to wear instead of my current ratty things. But as we entered the clothing area, we did not start to search for new clothes, instead Kelly locked the door and had me sit down on one of the few chairs in the room and she too took a seat.


The room was not necessarily a meeting place but due to the fact that there may be more than one boy waiting to get clothes, I guess they saw fit to put the chairs in the room for them. By now I was wondering what I could have possibly done wrong. There was nothing out of the ordinary at breakfast. Well I did stop and try to talk to Jeffery and his older brother Scott right before breakfast began but like Cody said earlier, they didn’t say much and for the most part they just ignored me. Oh don’t get me wrong, they said their appropriate hi and introduced themselves and allowed me to do the same but other than that they weren’t interested in carrying on a conversation with me. As much as I hated giving up, I got the point and left them alone. Of course that didn’t mean I wouldn’t try to still reach out a hand of friendship later. Anyway, were they upset enough to go to the staff about it? I really hope not but that was only thing I could come up with for being asked back here like I was. Of course I never considered the fact that most people would most likely be taken to the office to be disciplined and not to the clothing room. Then again, I was new.


“Now Benji… ” Kelly started to say before I interrupted her.


“I am sorry Kelly; I promise I won’t bother them again.”


She just gave me a weird look as if she was wondering if I recently had been dropped on my head. I took the visual clue for what it was meant to be and knew that this had nothing to do with Jeffery or his brother.


Kelly just shook her head and continued.


“As I was trying to explain, it has come to my attention that a new friend of yours has made an offer to help you get through Church today.”


I was about to interrupt again but she held up her hand and stopped me.


“Please let me finish.” Kelly interrupted me this time. “Again, as I was saying; a friend of yours has made an offer to me that I have decided to let you know about. I know sweetie that you have been having a hard time keeping dry during the day.” At this I was again going to say something but stopped after she raised her hand to her lips in a shushing motion to stop me. “Anyway, the service is going to be long and it might be easier on you if you were to wear something little more protective than a GoodNite.”


Boy did I really want to say something here. The last thing I wanted to do was wear one of those bulky cloth diapers to Church and have everyone stare at me like I was a retard or something! There was no way I would ever agree to it, I would rather pee my pants and hope that the black material helped hide the wetness than take a chance of being caught dead let alone alive in a cloth diaper in a public setting like that! So far no one even in the Home had even seen me in one and I wanted it to stay that way.


“Now I know you might be a little apprehensive about wearing a diaper out in public.”


“You could say that again!” I thought quietly to myself but nodded my head sharply in agreement.


“Your friend thought you would feel that way as well so he offered to let you wear one of his diapers for the morning.”


At this Kelly pointed to a disposable diaper lying on a table next to us and I found myself wondering if I was going blind to miss such the obvious. I knew right away who the friend was and I couldn’t believe how fast of a friendship we had grown that Alastair was already loaning me one of his diapers.


“So do you want to take him up on his offer and let me to help you into the diaper? Kelly asked with a smile and I was now starting to see the serious her melt away and the giggling her return which made me feel a ton better.


A part of me wanted to shout no way José. Another part of me found wearing the disposable diaper intriguing. Again I didn’t understand these weird fixations I was having on diapers. All of this just made no sense to me and as far as I can think of, I never ever had these feelings towards diapers before in my past. All I could say was that maybe good ole Mike had something to do with this, then again, was I displacing blame onto him once again? I did not have an immediate answer for this question.


“Well?” Kelly asked again and giggled this time to ease me.


I nodded my head, “Okay Kelly, I will try it.”


“Good boy, now let’s get you up on the table and into the diaper.”


With that she lifted me up then once she had me on the table she quickly unbutton my pants and pulled them along with my underwear down to my ankles. She then went to work spreading the disposable underneath me. I watched Kelly the best I could during the whole process. Of course I had to kinda sit up a little so I could see her once she started to tape the diaper on me. I did notice something about these diapers that was different than your basic baby diaper, these diapers had two tapes on each side rather than just the one that baby diapers have.


When Kelly was done with putting the diaper on me, she pulled my pants back up and zipped up the zipper and buttoned them for me. She of course could have left me to do this chore myself but she was kind enough to do it for me. She even helped me back off the table as if I were an infant. Once on my own two feet, she bent down and patted me on my diapered butt and giggled then kissed me gently on my nose before whispering in my ear.


“Don’t you worry there Benji about pooping, if you have to go just let it go and I will clean you up when we all get back. Okay?” She giggled and smiled at me as she whispered this then straighten back up before unlocking the door and telling me to go and wait in the TV/Game Room.


I did as I was told and found not only almost every boy in the home there but also my new best friend Alastair. We didn’t say anything to each other then, or anytime during the service. In fact we didn’t talk at all until after we got back to the home and after a late lunch. We did give each other a few knowing glances and he did look towards my butt in which I nodded and he returned with a smile and that was all the communication that needed to be said between us to have told each other what the other wanted to know.




Church as I expected went very slowly for me and was very dull. I hate to admit it but as nice of a guy as Father Caleb is, he is still no different from any other preacher I have ever known or heard, they all bore me to death and make me want to fall asleep in the pew. I tried my best to stay awake and listen to him so I could at least talk about the high points of his Sermon when I was able to talk to him hopefully after the service but I found myself several times being prodded awake by AJ.


Another thing that was heavily on mind was how embarrassed I was about being around all these strangers in an actual diaper. Yes I was wearing one of Alastair’s diapers and I found myself conscious of every crinkle sound the diaper made and the fact that I had wet it already a couple times and wondered how much more it could handle before it started to leak.


Finally, a part of me was afraid that Mike might just show up at any moment just to torment me while in church. Then again, maybe he can’t do something like that in the house of God. Maybe that was like a rule or something. There is something I need to ask him the next I see him if I remember to. I need to ask him why it feel like the longer I am in this kid form that the more of my old kid attributes I take on and the more of my older adult ones I seem to lose. I am starting to wonder if it is just maybe possible that if I stayed in this kid self too long that I might even forget that I was ever an adult to begin with. Now that is a scary thought!


“Hey Sleepy head, wake up!” AJ snapped his fingers in front of my face to wake me from my semi dozed off state. “You started snoring again and half the church heard you.” He whispered to me as I opened my eyes and once again repositioned myself.


“Is it almost over with?” I asked in a quiet pleadingly begging voice.


I must have been too loud as the lady in front of us turned around and shushed us. Boy did I really want to tell that lady where she could stick it but of course I was in church and I was supposed to be a good little boy, so I kept it to myself but it didn’t stop me from sticking my tongue out at the back of her head. Luckily everyone else who cared was too absorbed into what Father Caleb was saying to notice. For the few who did, they seem not to care and I even got a couple smiles in return. AJ giggled when he saw me but he himself didn’t join me. I guess he was too scared of getting caught.


As soon as AJ’s silent giggle fit was over with, I asked him once again how much longer the service would be until it was over with.


“To be honest, it could go on for another hour or wrap up any minute but normally it last about an hour an half and we have been here now for about that long so I say we got about 10 or 15 minutes left.” He finally told me after checking his watch. “Sometimes though, Father Caleb feels the spirit moving him and he can really go on and on and on. Then you have to wait until his Energizer bunny batteries drain down in him before he is done.”


Now that sounded bad! I just hoped Father Caleb didn’t have his Energizer batteries in today! I just wanted to get done with this, so we can forward with the day.


I kept looking over at AJ’s watch and as the minutes ticked by slower and slower, I thought time was coming to a screeching halt altogether. 10 then 15 minutes, then 20 minutes, all came and went. I was starting to wonder if Father Caleb was going to keep us here all day or not. I could see that AJ too was doing a lot of squirming as well and must be bored to death. He must have noticed me constantly looking at his watch because he finally addressed my need of wanting the service to be over with.


“I told you he could go on for longer.” AJ warned and lightly moaned while bending over before straightening back out, smiling at me and continuing. “Don’t worry, I know how you feel, I have to poop real bad this moment and I have been holding it for a while now. I am almost afraid now that if I get up from this booth, I might just accidently poop myself in the process.” He whispered and I could tell by his voice that he was not joshing with me either.


“Why didn’t you just get up and go when you first notice.” I asked him.


“They really don’t like us boys leaving the service unless it is absolutely necessary so I thought I could hold it but I was wrong. It has gotten worse so fast and the service went on so much longer than we thought it would...” I could almost hear fear as AJ’s voice dropped out.


“Don’t you wish you wore a diaper?” I asked half-jokingly.


AJ’s response was to slug me in the arm.


“That was not even in the least bit funny.” He whispered angrily. “And to answer your question, right now I do wish I had a diaper on because I know when I poop that I will pee as well. I also am sure now that I won’t make it to the toilet.”


I heard AJ whimper a little and looked at his face closely and noticed that he now had tears in his eyes. He was crying. I felt bad for him because I knew basically what the problem was. He had already reached his holding point and gone past it and the only thing keeping his bowels from emptying out is the pressure of the booth itself. Once he gets up from the booth, he would no longer have that pressure on his bowels and they would release into his underpants. If his bladder goes as well, then it will become a real bad mess. There was a possibility, it is long shot but it is possible if someone could carry AJ to the bathroom quickly enough and keep enough pressure on his bottom long enough… maybe… just maybe he might make it. I decided to explain my plan to AJ but he shot it down right away.


“I’m sorry Ben, but I don’t think I will even make it that long. I think I would crap myself before they even picked me up fully. Then I would just be a mess and probably peeing all down their shirt.”


“Well you can try squeezing your buttocks together when you get up.”


“My what?”


“Your Butt Cheeks.”


I wasn’t sure if he didn’t understand what I meant by buttocks which was possible since he was young or if he didn’t hear me since all of a sudden everyone was now singing. I hadn’t even realized that the sermon was finally over with and they had finally moved on to the final closing hymn.


I quickly jumped up and looked over at AJ who simply shook his head no. I just hoped that no one noticed that he didn’t join in, as for me; I pretended to sing with the rest of the congregation. As the song came to a close, we bowed our heads for Father Caleb’s closing prayer and when he said Amen, I about jumped for joy! Luckily I had enough sense not to do this while still in the service. Finally though, we were released back to the wild and as I got up I felt really bad as I looked at AJ’s desperate face as he refused to leave his seat.


“AJ, get your butt up and move it!” Kelly whispered in a demanding tone after he had refused several times already to get up and leave his seat.


Still he refused to get up and Kelly took this as a sign of him being stubborn and obstinate, I guess due to her being so preoccupied with her other duties at that time, she hadn’t taken notice that there was another reason for his refusal and it was written clearly all over his face! His face was one that screamed silently of fear and embarrassment and it was also because of this that he found it difficult to even find his voice to even respond to her as she continued to get even angrier with him. I was shocked as I found this normal sweet girl turn into this angry woman, for a moment, she almost reminded me of my wife during one of our numerous arguments!


I knew I had to end this before things got much further out of hand or the stress alone would make AJ crap himself! Of course I knew that I was taking a big chance on putting myself in the middle of this as it could backfire terribly and end up having Kelly just turn on yours truly and bitching me out! Still, I knew it was up to me to tell Kelly what was wrong with AJ.


Steven who had been sitting further down behind us with Alastair, The four of us had tried to all sit together but Kelly insisted on breaking us up for obvious reason during the service, noticed all the commotion that Kelly was making over AJ, so he, along with Alastair came over to find out what was wrong. They approached us as I started to explain to Kelly what was wrong with AJ and as I was afraid of, she at first snapped at me. Still, I was at least talking where AJ wasn’t and after a quick few attempts to get her to listen to me, she finally gave me a chance. As she listened and I watched her look from me to AJ and actually really look at him, I saw her anger in her face soften as she realized what she had missed and misunderstood. I could tell now that she knew, she felt awful for the way she yelled at him.


“AJ, I am real sorry sweetie. I should have never yelled at you like I did! I should have known that you would have never acted this way without reason! I feel so bad for the way I acted towards you!” Kelly tried her best to give a sincere apology which I think she succeeded at, though it was AJ she had to convince and not me. “I know that you are in a real bad predicament. Maybe if you squeeze your legs real tight I can carry you to the bathroom in time.” She suggested.


AJ who had started to cry at some point looked up at her with tears streaming down his face. The look he had plastered on his face broke my heart and almost made me cry as well.


“I… I… I d… d… don… nt w… w… w… wa… ant t... t… to g… g… get m… m… my st… st… st… stuff all over you!” He stuttered badly.


“Nonsense, now squeeze your butt cheeks together and just hold it as best as you can. Do you understand sweetie pie?” She asked AJ as she used her hand to lift his chin up so that she could see his tear filled eyes.


AJ just nodded and Kelly took this as an affirmative. She reached out and grabbed ahold of him and right before she picked him up she looked him in the eye.


“Okay, ready or not here we go.”


With that she picked him up from his seat and started to walk, almost should I dare say run towards what I guess was where the bathrooms were at. She headed towards the double swinging doors to the side; away from the crowd, which was heading out the front double doors which led outside. These doors led further inside the church and she hit them so hard that I thought they were going smack through the other side of the wall. In fact as I came upon the swinging door, I got there just as it came swinging back and came close to becoming a pancake myself!


It turned out that they didn’t get much further past the swinging doors though as I heard AJ’s silent tears become loud sobs.


“There, there, Sweetie, all that matters is that you tried.” I heard Kelly try to calm him as I walked up beside them.


It didn’t take long to see what had happened. AJ had completely soaked himself and the front of Kelly’s dress was wet as well. From the smell that was now filling the room; I could tell that he also probably had a good size lump in the backside of his underpants right now as well. It made me wonder when the last time AJ ever had an accident like this was. He was probably humiliated terribly and that was why it was so upsetting for him, then again it would be upsetting to anyone to be in his shoes right then no matter how use to it you were.


“Shhh you will be okay honey. We will get you all cleaned up once we get you back to the home.” Kelly tried again to sooth him.


I was starting to wonder what Kelly herself was going to do for clothing when suddenly I remembered the clothing stash in the basement of this very church.


“Kelly, I am going to go get Father Caleb. I think he can help us the most right now.” I sputtered.


“Ben, Father Caleb is busy saying goodbye to his parishioners and not to be bugged right now.” Kelly yelled out after me but it was too late as I was on my way and nothing was going to stop me.


I ran all the way back through where the service was held and by now most of the people had filed outside so I made my way out there. I quickly located the Father with a group of people talking and made my way over there.


Now normally I would be more polite and not interrupt, but seeing that these people were talking about stupid things like Aunt Phyllis’s strawberry patch, I just couldn’t help myself.


“Excuse me Mam’s and Sir’s, but I really need Father Caleb’s help right now.” I interrupted some blowhard who was telling the Father that his Aunt’s strawberries were the best in the whole county and he needed to come out and see for himself.


“EXCUSE ME SON, BUT DON’T YOU KNOW NOT TO INTERUPT ADULTS WHEN THEY ARE TALKING!” The blowhard turned his full attention on to me and yelled as if I were deaf or something, of course after that I might have been. He then turned back to Father Caleb and asked, “Why do you insist on helping these juvenile delinquents Father? All they do is continue to get into trouble and ruin the Church’s good name!”


I couldn’t believe this guy; it took every ounce of my willpower not to just kick him in the balls! I guess from the look that Father Caleb gave him that he must have felt the same way I did as well, not that he wanted to kick him in the balls necessarily but that he couldn’t stand the guy. I am guessing the only reason he puts up with the guy is because he has to.


“Gregory, I have told you this many times before and I am starting to get tired of repeating it. This is a house of GOD, we do his work here! If you don’t like it, then go somewhere else!” As Father Caleb let those words sink into the blowhard’s skull, he took my hand. “Now please Ben, take me away from these awful conversationalist.”


I couldn’t help myself, I laughed in response and he joined me as I led him back towards AJ and explained what happened on the way. We were just approaching Kelly and AJ when I started to explain my idea to Father Caleb and the rest.


“You see, the reason I ended up in the Boys Home is because I broke into this very church and got arrested for doing so. Luckily Father Caleb rescued me and brought me to the home. Anyway, I broke in because I needed clean clothes, which there are plenty of downstairs in the basement. I figured that the Father here could help both of you get a clean outfit to wear back to the home so that you wouldn’t have to ride the bus back looking like that.” I explained my idea.


“That is a wonderful idea.” Father Caleb smiled.


AJ sniffled, “Seriously, you will do this for us?” Then he frowned as if he had another thought. “But they will know I had an accident when they see I have different clothes.” He wailed.


“Oh Sweetie, we will tell them that the Father thought you could use a new outfit and wanted to make sure it fit before you left with it.” Kelly tried to comfort him.


“No don’t you see…” AJ sniffled and he wiped away the tears and snot that was running down his face. “…they will still know. You can’t lie to them they can see right through the lies and then I will be made fun of for being just like…”


For some reason he never finished what he was going to say but I had a pretty good idea what he was about to say… he was going to say, just like me! I wasn’t sure if I should be pissed at him or hurt that he felt this way. All I know was that I thought we were supposed to be friends and here he was talking like this. I almost wanted to say something to get clarification from him on this matter but at the same time was afraid that if I did all it would do was just cause me more hurt and sorrow. So I did what I thought was best, I just walked away but not first without thanking Father Caleb.


“Father, I really appreciate what you have done for me and how you have stuck up for me even probably when you shouldn’t have. I really hope that someday I can repay you the favor that you have given me and I promise you that I will do my best to make you proud of me.” I said then hugged him.


“Thank you Ben; that is more than I could ever wish for any of you boys.” He hugged me back.


After the Father released me from my hug, he patted me on my head, but not in some condescending way like some other adults would. It was kind of hard to explain but I knew it was his way of showing his fondness of me in a nonsexual way. (These days so many Priest are being accused of the most horrendous things but I could tell that Father Caleb was not one of these type of Priest.) I then looked at Kelly and briefly looked at AJ before turning my attention back to Kelly.


“Kelly, I am going to go out with the rest.” I informed her as I was starting to feel a little weird and upset about being around AJ at this moment.


For some reason this made Kelly look at her watch.


“Oh my, they should be leaving any moment and are going to be wondering what is taking so long.” She panicked.


“Don’t worry Kelly, I will personally take both you and AJ back to the Home.” At hearing Father Caleb say this, AJ seemed to calm down quite a bit. “Ben would you please tell the others that I will be taking these two fine people back to the home later myself?”


I nodded my head and hurried off. As soon as I was out of sight of them, I finally allowed the burning tears to escape my eyelids. I knew I didn’t have much time to let them out before I would once again be in front of other people, most of them my *Ahem* current age, so I would let them flow for these brief seconds that I had alone and once I was back in the sun with everyone else, I would shut off the faucets and wipe away the evidence and hope that no one ever noticed that I was crying, especially Steven or AJ, as I didn’t want to have to tell them about the cruel thing that AJ said or even worse, try to make up a lie!




It wasn’t until after lunch time when I finally noticed the chore list. I was with Tyler, Cody, and Alastair. AJ hadn’t got back yet and I was starting to wonder what was taking so long for him to do so. As for Steven, he had disappeared right after lunch was done with, without a word to anyone. My guess was he wanted to get out of his good clothes and had gone back to the room.


AJ wasn’t the only one who hadn’t returned yet; Kelly was still missing-in-action as well. You would think that she would need to be here because of work but I guess the other 2 employees working at the time seemed to be doing okay without her for the moment. For all I know, she might have been only there for the church service. Then again, maybe someone is staying later until she gets back. Who knows? All I knew at that moment was, that I wished she was there as she seemed to be the only adult working today that I knew and trusted enough with my... um… my situation. I know that I should get to know the other two people here, but so far no one has helped me to ease into that uncomfortable zone of mine when it comes to meeting new people like AJ or Father Caleb did with the other staff here. Now, that doesn’t mean that I had trouble meeting and talking to new people as an adult, before I became a kid. I did always have a little more trouble than others breaking the ice but now as a kid, I found it even harder than ever, especially when it concerns things like needing a diaper change.


I decided to take a breath and clear my head. I needed to stop letting my mind wander and concentrate on what was in front of me.


“So this is the chore list, when did they put it up?” I asked, trying to put all thoughts of my diaper out of my mind for now.


“Oh it was put up this morning.” Tyler answered as he munched on what was left of his frozen desert pop. “They always put it up before breakfast on Sunday morning so that when you come down you can check and see what your chore is for the week.”


I decided to look and see if my name was on the chart and sure enough it was and I had to laugh when I saw what my job was… Cleaning the downstairs bathroom. Wow, if Mike didn’t have anything to do with that, I would eat my diaper. Once again my mind was on my diaper, I wasn’t sure how good Alastair’s disposables were or how much they could hold over a cloth diaper but it felt as if the diaper was getting droopy. If I didn’t do something about it soon, I was afraid that it was going to leak. The only problem was that I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to change it myself or not and as I said, I was too embarrassed to ask someone I didn’t know about it. Again I wished that Kelly was back! I decided the best thing to do was to drag the guys back to my room and let them know my predicament and see what they say.


“Hey guys, lets head up to my room, besides, I think that is where Steven might have gone.” I strongly suggested.


At that moment, one of the older boys stopped and looked over at us.


“If you’re looking for Steven, he’s in the office with Mrs. Betty.” He reported to us before turning and leaving us wondering why he was in the office.


“Did any of you guys know that Mrs. Betty was here?” A confused Tyler asked before the same question could pass my own lips.


All of us shook our heads in confusion and I could see that this must not be a normal thing for her to show up like this. Maybe she came in to work while Kelly was gone. Of course I did not voice this thought as I didn’t want to sound like some fool. The fact that she had Steven in her office on a Sunday didn’t seem good either and it made us wonder what was going on in that small space of a room. I of course knew from experience that we could go down the hall and stand outside the office and possibly hear what was being said inside the closed doors but after what happened the last time, I wasn’t about to risk my friendship. Besides, I really needed to do something about this diaper, especially now that I felt the beginnings of a cramp coming along.


“Hey guys, as much as I would like to help Steven out, there’s not much we can do right this moment. On the other hand, I do have a desperate problem that I really need to talk to you about in private.” I stated urgently in desperation.


I think it registered first with Alastair what my problem was about, the other guys continued to give me weird looks like I might be off my rocker.


“Are you okay?” Cody asked with true concern but only got a scowl from me.


“What did you not understand about the word private?!” Alastair berated Cody and if he had stopped there it would have been great, but he went on and I am sure didn’t mean to, but accidently embarrassed me. “Don’t you guys get it, he has an issue with his diaper he wants to tell us about!” He snapped at them both and at which they quickly finally understood my plight.


As for myself, I quietly started to make my way to the stairway, my face flushed, wondering how many people heard Alastair’s outburst about the diaper I was wearing. I was about all the way up the stairs before the other guys caught up with me, of course out of breath trying to rush up the steps. For the time being, I decided to act like the little kid everyone thought I was and gave them the silent treatment. They of course were going crazy trying to get me to talk to them and pleaded with me as I walked into my room.


“Come on Ben, you wanted us up here to tell us something so you have to stop the silent treatment eventually and tell us.” Tyler pleaded. “Besides, we are very sorry for what happened.”


“Yes, I am sorry too. I wasn’t thinking at all.” Alastair admitted.


“While I don’t have anything to be sorry about as I didn’t do anything wrong in the first place, I am sorry that this moron… ” At this Cody pointed towards Alastair. “…ended up causing you so much embarrassment downstairs.”


I couldn’t help myself; I ended up smirking and stifling a giggle, causing it to sound more like a snort sound. Cody’s statement was funny in a strange way and I didn’t even understand why. It sounded like something only a kid would find funny, not an adult.


Just as quickly as I started giggling, I stopped. The reason, a thought came to my mind, one that has come to me a couple times before but this time I found the thought even stronger. Once again I had found myself not instinctively acting like myself, that of my adult self. Instead, I had found myself acting and behaving like a child who had never even considered the thought of one day being an adult. One who temporarily had lost access to his adult memories and feelings and only had those of an 8 year old boy. This wasn’t the first time I had noticed this. At first the moments lasted just split seconds and I thought it was just a trick of my mind brought on by the circumstances of what I been through. As time went on, these moments got longer and I started to feel as I were actually losing adult memories. I can’t actually prove I lost any of my adult memories as I can’t remember them so how am I to know if I actually lost anything. I guess it just comes down to a weird feeling. The feeling as if something is missing and you can’t quite put your finger on it. As these moments grew, I began to wonder if the 2 things had a correlation to each other and I am now more than positive that they do! Somehow I knew, that if I didn’t figure this out soon, I would lose my identity, what makes me, well… ME! I knew that I would somehow be stuck in this child form who knows how long. Maybe I would age normally but knowing Mike as I was starting to get to know him, most likely not! But the one certainty that I was becoming more certain of now more than ever, I was almost surely going to lose my adult self and memories eventually and all that would be left of me, will be this new kid self that I can already see emerging from inside of me. The only question now is how much time do I have left before all of my adult side would be gone? Once I knew that, that would be the amount of time I would have left to figure out the answer to my dilemma. No matter how much I would love to be a kid again at times; I was a kid once before and done my time and it was now time for me to be an adult. Possibly maybe even help some needy kids like the ones in this home. Another thought is, if I didn’t find the answer in time and I did lose my adult self and all that was left was the new kid identity, would it be me or would I cease to exist at that time?


At this thought, I heard a large bell go off in my head and Mikes voice once again magically beamed into my brain.


“Good job Benji, you’re on the right path. Keep it up buddy and we will talk later about your little dilemma problem.” And as fast as it was there, the voice was gone.


“You okay Ben?” Cody asked as He looked down at me frowning.


The other two were staring at me as well and I was starting to feel a little awkward because I knew I could not tell them what just happen as there was no way they would ever believe me. In the end a convenient lie was the best to go with.


“Nothing, I just felt a little queasy there for a second. Must be something I ate at lunch that didn’t agree with me.” I quickly lied.


“Does this mean that you’re no longer angry with us?” Tyler asked cautiously.


I sighed. “I am not angry; just don’t embarrass me like that anymore.”


“We promise!” All three said in unison.


I smiled as I went over and sat on my bed, making my diaper smoosh beneath me as it flattened slightly under my butt. This again reminded me of my dire need.


“Ugh, I have to get out of this diaper of yours soon Alastair or it is going to explode all over the place!” I stated in desperation. “I also need to poop real badly and if I don’t get out of it soon I am going to end up going in the diaper.” I added.


“Oh shoot, you should have gotten changed out of that, hours ago.” Alastair announced. “I can get someone to come up and take care of it for you if you want?” He offered.


“Well… what I was wondering is if I could just take it off myself? I mean, are we allowed to take these off on our own?”


“To be honest, I am not sure for your case but in mine I have to let them do it for me because they re-diaper me. Since you don’t need to be re-diapered, I don’t see why you couldn’t remove it without getting in trouble but maybe we should ask first.”


“It sounds like if he takes too much longer deciding on what to do, he is going to end up crapping himself and then he won’t have a choice but to have someone come and help clean him up.” Tyler sounded worried, though I think he was more worried about the stink it would cause then my embarrassment.


“That’s not necessarily true, he could still do it himself and then just go and take a shower.” Cody argued, “I did it before at my last foster parent’s home.” He mumbled this last part embarrassingly.


“Yeah, I could do that!” I agreed but I found both Tyler and Alastair shaking their head no while they both stared at Cody at his newest revelation.


“Cody, you need to tell us later about this pooping incident because I thought you only wet the bed, but right now I would like to take care of Ben before he poops his diaper.” Alastair patted my leg and tried to hide a smirk as he told Cody this.


“Sorry Ben but if they found out that you did that without letting them know, you could get into trouble. The reasoning is that according to them it is not sanitary for you to be washing that much poop off your butt and onto the shower room floor without their knowledge. They also don’t think it is sanitary enough to allow us to try and clean our own butts and that they need to make sure our butts are clean enough before we move around to other areas of the home. I know it sounds weird but it is one of the rules here.” Tyler informed me, trying his best to ignore Cody and get back on topic. “Now, I know you don’t want me to do this, but I am going to go downstairs and get someone to come upstairs and change you or at least find out if it is ok for you to change yourself. Please try your best to hold your poop till I get back. Okay?” I scowled at Tyler as he looked pleadingly at me as he said this last part.


“Oh all right …but you better hurry!” I demanded.


Tyler smiled and then turned and bolted from the room. As soon as he was gone I already had misgivings of allowing him to go, so did my stomach or should I say my bowels as I heard a deep gurgle deep within them. I truly wasn’t sure how long I was going to be able to hold it all back and decided to clench my butt muscles as tightly closed as I possibly could. This whole thing suddenly reminded me of how AJ must have felt this morning and for a moment I pitied him for what had happened, only for a moment though, as I remembered what happened shortly afterward and had to fight back the urge to cry in front of Alastair and Cody. Instead I put all my focus on trying to hold back my bowels which I was suddenly afraid was going to be a losing battle as another gurgle and strong cramp hit me.


I guess Alastair seen the pain and horror on my face because he looked at me worried.


“You’re not going to make it are you?” Alastair asked which got Cody looking intently at me as well. “If you really can’t make it Ben, why go through all the pain and just let it out. Trust me, you will feel a whole lot better once you have emptied yourself and plus to be honest… ” This next part Alastair whispered so that me and Cody barely even heard what he said. “ …nothing feels better than a poopy diaper. I mean it really feels great to have a big squishy load back there that moves around and molds itself to your bottom when you sit on certain objects. Trust me! If you just give it a chance! I know you would love it!” Alastair said the last part with enthusiasm.


I could tell by what he said that he really loved it but the problem was, the more he tried to convince me how great it was, the more he disgusted me about the whole idea of it. The last thing I wanted to think about was how it felt to have a load in my diaper and how it felt squishing around inside of it. Then again, maybe in a few days when all the adult of me was gone, I just might find the idea fascinating… who knows when it comes to a young child’s mind. Anyway, I didn’t want to upset him or lose him as a friend so I decided to just nod and for now politely tell him I would rather wait.


“That sounds like it might be fun Alastair but I really would not want to be known as a pants soiler here and I already had a couple accidents and I really don’t want to have more or the staff may decide to put me in regular diapers full time.”


“That is understandable; I can see your point. I wish sometimes that the staff wouldn’t change me so often so that I can enjoy my diaper longer and sometimes I get my wish depending on the staff member, but in most cases I get changed way too soon and I don’t even get to enjoy my dirty and wet diaper.


Cody suddenly had a puzzled look on his face, “Alastair, do you wet and mess your diapers on purpose? I am wondering because of what you are saying, it almost sounds like you might be doing it on purpose.”


Alastair’s face turned beat red.


“You really do, do it on purpose?” I asked with believability. “I would have never believed that anyone would have purposefully wet and messed themselves on purpose or allow themselves to be put back in diapers when they don’t need them!”


Alastair seemed to go from embarrassed to a little angry as if we had insulted him somehow.


“First, let me get something straight, I do need them! I do have a bowel and bladder incontinence problem due to something the doctor can probably explain better to you then I ever could. What it means is that I can barely feel the need to go before I do go. So yes I do know sometimes when I have soiled or wet myself. There are still a lot of times when it happens that I don’t know that it has happen. So yes I do get enjoyment out of it those few times when I do know when it has happen but I don’t have enough time to make it to the toilet because it usually gives me enough notice to just notice then I am pooping or peeing. So if you guys want to continue to judge me more, well then, just count our friendship over at this point!” At this Alastair started to stomp towards the door.


“No! Don’t go!” Both Cody and I said almost in unison.


I ran over to Alastair and grabbed his arm, which as an afterthought may have been a bad idea if he had taken it as an aggressive move. Lucky for me he hadn’t.


“Please Alastair, we hadn’t meant to hurt you in any way. We were just surprised at the thought or possibility that you might be doing it on purpose. No one even said you did do it on purpose but just asked if you did. I know that we did kinda imply that you might have though and we are both very sorry… right Cody… ” As I said this I playfully punched Cody’s arm to get his attention and to get him to agree with me.


“Oh yes, I am very sorry Alastair and I will never imply anything about you again! I swear on my momma’s grave and if I am lying you can pull off all my toenails one by one and sell them to South America.”


“Why would South America want your toenails?” I asked in mocked disgust.


Cody just looked at us innocently and smiled, “Why wouldn’t they. They are the most perfect toenails in the world and South America would pay a fortune for them.”


I just nodded as if he was right while wondering if the kid was slightly touched in the head. I couldn’t help wondering why in the world he would come to the conclusion that anyone or let alone a continent, would be interested in his toenails. I also couldn’t help wondering how he came to fixate himself on South America. I know he is only a kid, but he was an older kid and at 12 should be old enough to know better than this by now. This is why I was starting to wonder if he might be a little slow. Who knows, he might be in special education at his school for all we know. It might also be the reason why he plays with us instead of kids his own age too, because he is mentally closer to kids a lot younger. Of course AJ and Steven are about his age but they were not around and it was only us 3 youngsters, two 10 year olds and my supposedly 9 year old self.


I was about to say something else when my bowels gurgled loudly once again and caused me to have a sudden bout of gas.


There was no hiding it as the explosion of gas erupted from my butt. It was slightly muffled by the diaper but not nearly enough to keep it from being heard by my friends in the room. What was worse was that I now felt a slight wetness between my clenched butt cheeks and wondered how bad my diaper was now. I couldn’t tell if anything slipped out of me or not, all I know is if anything did slip out, it would have had to been liquid as I had not felt anything solid get past the blockade I put up.


“Oh wow Ben, that didn’t sound good at all.” Tyler sympathized. “Did you mess yourself?”


“Surly sounded like he did! That was one wet sounding fart if I ever heard one!” Cody put in his two cents worth.


I couldn’t help myself and started blushing once again. I was desperate and I hoped that Tyler would be back soon because I didn’t think I was going to last another minute as I could already feel another bubble of gas forming in my stomach as I tried desperately to fight it back. It was just as I managed to fight back the latest gas bubble when Tyler finally did show back up.


“Dang it Tyler! What took so long?” I demanded in frustration as I wiped the sweat that was forming on my face from the heat caused from all the exertion I was putting into keeping myself from pooping my diaper.


“Sorry Ben, I was trying to get one of them but they were all busy. I was about to give up when Mrs. Betty saw me nosing around and thought I was looking for someone to change me. I tried to tell her I didn’t need to be changed but that you were the one needing to be changed or at least wanted to know if you could take the diaper off yourself.” Tyler tried his best to explain. “I tried my best but she wouldn’t hear it she thought I was just trying to get out of being changed myself so she dragged me down to the clothing room where she proceeded to change my diaper. That is what took me so long. I am so sorry Ben that I needed to be changed already, I guess Mrs. Betty had smelled me, I didn’t even know that I had messed myself.” Tyler tried to apologize.


“So, what am I supposed to do now?!” I about started to cry.


“Oh, don’t worry, Mrs. Betty said that as long as the diaper is only wet that you can take it off yourself but if she finds out that you messed it and took it off without help from one of the staff, than you will be in trouble!” Tyler finally informed me.


There was only one problem with this whole thing, how was I going to get to the bathroom and take off the diaper and then quickly plant my butt on the toilet before I lose all the contents of my insides. Something inside of me said that this was not going to be possible. Even if I somehow managed to get to the bathroom and the toilet without soiling my diaper, I was certain that just the act of dropping my pants and removing the diaper would probably be enough to lose control over my bowels and then I would have a very big noticeable mess; one that I could not possibly hide!


While I was deliberating on my predicament, the guys were talking about Steven, which due to my trying to concentrate on one thing, my bowels; I only heard bits and pieces of their conversation. Basically, what I did hear was that while Tyler was downstairs he did not see Steven and had no idea where he was at. There was a lot more said about him and something about voice in another room but again I really wasn’t paying attention to that right then.


I had to make a decision right then, to either get up and try to make it to the toilet or to sit there and hope that the cramping would eventually go away and then be able to comfortably walk to the toilet and take the diaper off and use the facilities. I was pretty sure that I wouldn’t make it to the toilet, in fact, I was afraid just the act of standing up would cause me to poop my brains out! As for option 2, I knew that this did happen sometimes as I have had it happen to me. There had been times in the past where I had to poop real badly and I kept holding it even through the cramps and eventually the cramping went away and the need to poop subsided. The problem was, I didn’t think it was going to work for me this time for 2 reasons, #1 – I had to go worse than I ever remember before having to go and I didn’t feel this relenting one bit and #2 – I now had a kids bowel which has less strength or at least mine did, which means I was much more likely now to have a poopy accident.


“You better do something quick Ben!” Tyler voice suddenly broke through my thoughts. “That last fart you had didn’t sound so good and I don’t think you will survive another one.”


I just gave him a worried look, then looked at each of the other guys as well, “I can’t get up.” I told them as I finally admitted the truth not only to them but to myself. “If I get up, I will poop the diaper!” I started to cry.


“Think of it this way Ben, at least you have a diaper on.” Alastair reminded me again of what happened earlier with AJ at Church. “It could be a lot worse.”


“Ben, just try and stand up slowly and keep your butt cheeks clenched tightly and if you’re lucky, you won’t have a similar situation as AJ.” And as Tyler said this, AJ walked into the room.


“Did I just hear my name called” AJ announced jokingly as he had no idea what was transpiring in the room at that moment.


I of course had been doing what Tyler had been saying and standing very slowly, concentrating on trying to keep my bowels closed but AJ’s sudden arrival ended up startling me and caused me a momentary loss of control. That was all it took though, that one moment and I couldn’t stop it from there. On top of it all, there was no mistaking it that I was filling the backside of my diaper! It was not only very loud but it immediately stunk up the whole room with a terrible shit smell. I do have to say that it certainly did feel better to finally have it coming out of me after trying to hold it back for so long, so even after I finally did get control back, I just relaxed my bowels and finished emptying them. I figured the damage was already done and now I was cramp free. The only problem now was, I had about 10 pounds of shit in my diaper! Also according to the rules, I now had to be changed by a staff member.  This immediately brought on a mixed bag of emotions for me.


1.     I was feeling better due to finally being relieved of the cramping.


2.   I was completely grossed out by all the liquid shit now contained inside of my diaper. I could feel it even sloshing over my balls and penis and this disgusted me very much, I could not understand how Alastair could enjoy this at all, there was no way he would ever be able to talk me into enjoying it, that was for certain!


3.   I now was terribly embarrassed because of the situation I was in and things would un-doubtfully be even worse for me at the home. Somehow these mixed emotions caused me to end up crying.


I didn’t even notice that AJ had left the room once again. All I noticed was that the guys were suddenly around me trying to comfort me; their faces a blur through my tears. I just stood there, as I was afraid to sit down, and allowed them to comfort me in hopes that somehow that through all their comforting that the poop would be magically sucked up out of my diaper. As I was contemplating on what to do next, a familiar voice interrupted my thoughts.


“Oh you poor child!” Kelly’s voice rang out, and to be honest, scared me so bad I wet my diaper again.


Kelly was the last person I had expected to see as I had guessed she had gone home or something. I really hadn’t thought she would show back up at the Home after being gone for so long. The thing is though, I was actually relieved to see her, if there was one person at that moment that I trusted and was willing to allow to see me in this very embarrassing situation, it was Kelly. Once again, the child part of me woke up and I found myself running towards her and throwing my arms around her legs, hugging them tightly. Even when my adult self, re-emerged, I continued to hug her legs for several seconds longer, before I finally let go and sniffled, as I looked up at her with a relieved look on my face.


“Okay guys, how about you clear the room and give Ben a little privacy.” Kelly stated as she prodded the boys out the door and once they were gone she shut it behind them.


It wasn’t until that moment that I realized that she had brought the diaper cart with her into the room. I then watched as she pulled out Steven’s cot and set it up and then grab a big changing pad from the cart and lay it on top of Steven’s bed.


“Okay Ben, drop your pants and then hop up on the changing pad for me.” Kelly smiled at me and I quickly did as I was told. “Wow, I am surprised that this diaper is even still on you as full as it is!” She laughed trying to keep me in a calm mood by joking around.


Of course when she un-taped the diaper and pulled the front of it away, we both gagged on the smell being emitted from it. I think she could tell I was about to cry again and so she tried to sooth me, letting me know that it was okay.


“Hey Kiddo, don’t you fret, I have smelt much worse!” As she said this I looked at her in a disbelieving look. “You may not believe me but I swear that I had one boy here that his poop always smelled like toxic waste…”


And as Kelly went on to tell me the story of the boy with the toxic waste smelling poop, she proceeded to clean me up and before I knew it, I was completely clean.


“Now Ben, I know how you feel about diapers and all but tell me, if I were to get you more diapers like the one you wore today, would you feel more comfortable wearing those instead of the GoodNites? The reason is because I really think that the GoodNites are not really the best option for you considering how much you pee and when you start school on Monday you won’t be able to use the toilet as much.” And before I could say anything to stop her she went on. “I really think you should consider it. Remember, you can still take it off yourself if you just wet it, though if you do go full time with this type of diaper, you will most likely need our help to put it on right. That is until you can prove to us that you can do it properly yourself but to be honest, I haven’t seen any of the younger boys able to put one on themselves satisfactorily yet. Anyway, Alastair has plenty of diapers and is willing to share some of his stock with you until you are able to get some of your own. If you want, I can put another one of his on you now instead of the GoodNite.”


I wasn’t sure, but I bet my face was red enough that people might have confused it with a burning stop light right then. The offer was something to consider due to the fact that she was right about school, and that was the last place I wanted to piss my pants, but for now I was just too embarrassed and wanted to just get it all over with and do it with as much dignity as I could, this meant that I would definitely be going with the GoodNites, at least for the time being. So I gave her my choice and I was happy that she understood. She then cleaned up while I put on my GoodNite and got redressed and as she left she let the guys come back into the room. It didn’t escape my attention that Steven was with them.


“Steven, where have you been all this time buddy?” I asked worriedly.


“We’ve been trying to get the same information from him too but he refused to say anything until he could tell all of us including you.” AJ announced.


I looked over at AJ and scowled, “I have the same question for you too but Steven first then you!” I hadn’t yet forgotten how AJ had snubbed me earlier that day and was still quite upset over the incident.


“Come on Ben, don’t get mad at me, it ain’t my fault! I already told the other guys what happened. Father Caleb got me some new clothes and Kelly helped clean me up. The bus had already left and the Father offered to take us to his place to Lunch like you already know…”


“What… ” I interrupted. “There was never anything mentioned about lunch while I was around. According to what I heard, Father Caleb was going to help you get the new clothes and Kelly was going to help you get cleaned up. Then once you were all taken care of, the Father was going to drive you back to the Home. That was what I heard and nothing else! I shouted at him angrily.


“Damn Ben, why are you so mad at me?!” AJ asked with a little growing anger of his own.


“Don’t tell me that you forgot what you said at the church already! You snubbed me… you jerk!”


“What are you talking about? I have no idea or clue of what you are referring too!” He yelled at me.


Through all this back and forth between me and AJ, the guys had tried their best to try and calm us down and put a stop to it but at this point there was no stopping it and all of their pleas at this point went unheard.


“Well let me remind you then!” I screamed back at him. “You were telling Father Caleb why you couldn’t get on the bus with new clothes and lie to them by telling them that the Father wanted you to give you a new outfit and make sure you tried it on to see if it fit you before you left. Your response to him that you couldn’t do it because they would still know and you would be made fun of for being just like… And you ended it right there as you looked straight at me.” I growled angrily.


I could see understanding flash before his eyes, “Oh” was all he said.


“Is that all you can say for yourself?” I demanded.


“Damn it Ben, I was an emotional wreck right that moment and I would have almost said anything. The thing you need to realize though, is that even you noticed that I did stop what I was about to say because I did realize it was wrong and hurtful. I am sorry that I didn’t catch it earlier than I did, but you need to realize I did catch it and didn’t say it in the end.”


I did have to give him that point, of course I figured he had stopped because he saw me and was afraid of getting in trouble but I should have realized that it was his seeing me that reminded him of our friendship and what he was about to do to that so called friendship.


Still, was he saying this now to get back in my good graces, or did he mean it? I wasn’t sure about this and I still didn’t like the idea that he even thought about it, even if it was for a split second out of weakness. The point was that he still thought of it!


Suddenly, for the second time that afternoon, my thoughts were invaded by none other than Mike.


“Are you seriously going to allow a mere child throw chaos into what little of your life you have left?” I really didn’t like the sound of Mike’s threat on my short life span at that moment but of course I couldn’t respond as my friends would all think I was looney, luckily he knew what I was thinking. “Again, that will come later, for now just know that this boy has always been kind to you and even if he did say something mean one time out of a weak moment, he still wants to be your friend and wants your forgiveness. You should consider very much giving it to him, as buddy… You are going to need friends!” And with that said, Mike was gone.


I looked into AJ’s pleading eyes and as I stared into them, I realized that I didn’t see any malice in them and was almost positive that instead I saw true sincerity. Sighing, I stuck out my hand in friendship to AJ.


“Okay, I forgive you buddy. Just promise me that you don’t make any more comments like that as they do hurt me and make me feel as if I am losing you as a friend” I offered as a compromise to which he smiled and agreed to.


“Now that we got that out of the way, can I finish?” He asked me and I nodded which caused him to smile. “Anyway, when we got to the Father’s place, Kelly insisted that I take a shower since I had been way too messy for her to really clean properly. At first I was worried at what I was going to wear because my church clothes were a wreck and as Kelly feared, there were shit stains in my new clothes that they got out for me because she had missed a few spots. So I showered while at the same time worried about what I was going to wear. What I didn’t know was that Kelly had been prepared and had picked out another outfit for me in my size just in case. Also, while I was in the shower, Father Caleb threw my dirty stuff into the laundry; of course not until after first rinsing them thoroughly in the wash sink. So I put on the other clothes once I got out of the shower and we ate lunch and then we played a board game while waiting for my clothes to finish through the laundry. Anyway, we ended up spending most of the afternoon at the Fathers place until he finally brought both me and Kelly back to the Home.”


It turned out the Steven was thinking the same question I was, “Didn’t Kelly have to work today? If so wouldn’t she get in trouble spending so much time away from work?”


AJ just shrugged his shoulders, “I thought so too but Kelly told me not to worry about it and that it was all taken care of. I tried to press the issue because I didn’t want her to get in trouble but she again told me it was none of my concern and that I was to mind my own business and that everything was all taken care of and that she would not be in any trouble. Anyway, that was my day, so Steven, tell us yours.”


Steven coughed and beamed at all of us and we found his smile infectious.


“I got good news today!” He practically shouted with joy. “My full Name is Stephen James Collins the 2nd and my Father’s name was Brian James Collins. He was a decorated military Non-commissioned officer who served in the US ARMY. I found out that he held the rank of Sargent First Class, whatever that means, but it sounds real important. The best news of all was that they tracked down my uncle who also is in the US ARMY only the problem is that he is in Germany and according to him he won’t be able to get here for a few days at least while he tries to work out a few details on my travel arrangements and making sure that he can legally take me out of the country. At least I got to talk to him and my Aunt, which I haven’t been able to do since my father’s special ceremony in Washington. Even then I barely got to speak to them before my mother blew up and dragged me off! Anyway that is what I have been doing all afternoon.”


This certainly was good news, probably the best I had heard in days and was glad that something nice was happening for someone, especially for Steven as he really deserved it. For the rest of the day, us boys talked about all the stuff that Steven could possibly do when he got to Germany. I mean, he would have all of Europe to pretty much explore.




The rest of the day went by uneventfully, well… that is until we suddenly heard a lot of screaming coming from downstairs shortly before bedtime. It was just the 3 of us boys, me, AJ, and Steven currently in the room as the other guys had gone to their own rooms to get ready for bed. Someone had already come around and had diapered us for the night; that someone turned out to be Kevin who had just started his shift for the evening. I was much more comfortable with having someone I knew doing the deed than with someone I didn’t know. Anyway, he had come and gone about 15 minutes before all hell broke loose downstairs.


Like everyone else in the home, I found myself running towards the stairs to see what was going on. I couldn’t help wondering if we were under attack or something. Being one of the closer rooms to the stairs, I was able to get a good vantage point and could easily see what was transpiring down in the lobby.


I was shocked first to see that Mrs. Betty was still here as she would be normally long gone by now. I also recognized Kevin and surprisingly Lieutenant Grant as well. There was someone else I recognized and it scared me right down to the marrow of my bones when I saw the way they were acting. Peter was throwing the biggest temper tantrum that I have yet seen in this place. In fact, I don’t remember in all my childhood a tantrum as bad as that one. He was throwing all kinds of things around the room and swearing cussing up a storm. While all along another older boy who sort of looked like him tried his best to calm him down. It was unmistakable what this all about. It was very obvious that Peter’s brother had been turned down for custody for his younger brother. While angry over the whole thing himself, the last thing he wanted was his brother to end up being thrown into Juvie, which is where he would end up going if he didn’t calm down and soon! There was another person there as well, which I finally realized must have been Peter’s caseworker.


The way things were going, I didn’t think they were ever going to calm Peter down and I was sure they were going to haul him off in a squad car, or at least I was desperately hoping so. Instead, he collapsed into Mrs. Betty’s arms crying and begging her forgiveness for his outburst. The sad part was, all those suckers down there bought it, hook, line, and sinker! It was about this time that we all had been spotted.


“Okay everyone, I think it is bedtime. Everyone, get to your beds on the double!” Ordered Kevin as he looked up and saw all of us boys staring down at them.


As I headed back to my bed I started to worry, before Peter had turned over his new leaf he was totally pissed off at me and then off course he had gone through his conversion to the good side, but with the new turn of events, I knew it meant that Peter was surely going to be going back to the dark side and I had to wonder how long it would take him to remember how mad he had been with me before he had gone good.




I went to sleep that night, not by choice but by pure exhaustion. I tried my best to stay awake as I was afraid to death that Peter may try to carry out his previous promise and try to kill me in my sleep; well, at least hurt me. I couldn’t tell you how long I had been asleep when I was suddenly awaken with a burst of pain and the inability to breathe. It took me several seconds to realize what had happened, but by the time I realized I had been suckered punched in my stomach, I was hit in the same spot with another blow just as hard. It hurt so badly and I was so out of breath that I couldn’t even cry out and I knew that was what Peter intended. I was starting to wonder if I was going to die because every attempt to bring in air failed to do so and was causing me more and more discomfort and pain. I was also starting to black out as well and as Peter belted me one more time, he whispered in my ear.


“This is only a taste of what I have in store for you on Monday you little panty wetting freak!”


As he quietly left our room which he had somehow entered and attacked me and was now leaving, all doing so without waking up either of my 2 roommates, I had enough time to cringe at the thought of just what he might have in store for me on Monday before the loss of air finally made me black out completely and lose consciousness!



Chapter 17


          I woke up very early that morning, long before everyone else. At first I found my mind a little foggy, and was having trouble trying to focus on any one particular thing, but after a few minutes things began to clear and I started to remember what had taken place earlier, during the night. In a flash, it all had come back; of course the lingering pain I still felt from the encounter didn’t make it any easier! I knew one thing, it isn’t fun being woken in the middle of the night and used as a punching bag! In fact, it is quite down right something to be pissed off about… and pissed off I was! As I already noted, my stomach was still sore, but at least I found that I could now breathe again, which was a relief as I was certain after last night’s attack, that I would never breathe again. I had in fact, remembered being almost positive that I was going to die after he had hit me that last time. My last thought I had as I started to black out was, that they were going to find my dead corpse in the morning in a fully loaded poopy diaper, as my bowels released their contents just as everything in front of me faded to black and I and my mind was consumed by that black void of nothingness!


          Disgusted with myself and pissed off with Peter, I decided to choose the latter to focus on for the time being. I mean, he was the one who put me in this mess in the first place! I decided that maybe I should check myself out and started to probe the area that Peter had hit me. I wanted to make sure he hadn’t hurt me anywhere outside my stomach, like my ribs. I also wanted to know how painful the area was still. As I figured, Peter had really done a number on me, and to think that he did it at my most vulnerable moment! This of course made me anger burn ever hotter! Most of the pain seemed to be centered in my stomach area which seemed to be good as it meant no broken or bruised ribs to deal with. The problem is… I wasn’t a d0ctor, so there wasn’t any way to know if there was any internal damage done to my organs inside. In the end my decision was made only because I wanted or should I say, needed, to stop Peter before he either killed me or one my friends here at the home. So, I decided to get up and tell someone on duty about what Peter had done to me. Surely this would be taken as Peter’s last strike, as I knew he only had one left, and therefore get him removed from the home. Wherever they sent him next was of no concern of mine, was what I told myself.


          I Sat up and was about to get out of bed when I suddenly remembered that I had one little problem with my plan. I had no proof. None of my roommates had woken up when Peter had been in the room and I am sure no one else in the home saw him enter or leave our room. In fact, I was quite positive that there wouldn’t be one person who would come forward that would claim Peter even left his bed last night. In fact, if I was a betting man… erm… I guess that would be kid right now. Anyway, I would bet Peter’s friends would claim that he had been in his bed all night long and would have no problem lying through their teeth to protect him and swear to this. This would then make it my word against Peter’s word and from what I have been told, the home doesn’t like to judge one boy’s word over another boy’s word without some corroborating testimony or evidence. If they really were to do this in this case, Peter would still be here and he would find another way to make my life miserable and to not only hurt me but my friends and I knew he could do it as he already had proved he could. This of course instantly put a damper on my plan and felt like a kick in the teeth!


          I don’t know exactly how long I sat there sulking before I realized how stupid I was! I may not have the corroborating testimony but I surely as day have the evidence! With as hard as he kept hitting me in the same spot I must have one whopper of a bruise on my stomach! That should be sufficient evidence enough to prove my story about Peter, or at least, I hoped so! If it did not, I knew the consequences would be brutal!


          The thought of the bruise piqued my interest and I became curious as to what it may look like? Like what colors it was made up of and how big it was. I imagined it was as big as my whole stomach and had some reds, blues, and purple hues to its color. As it was too dark in the room to check it out and I didn’t want to wake up Steven and AJ, I decided it was best to just go to the bathroom and check it out there. There was one little problem with that though. I was kind of afraid that Mike might pop out of a mirror or be squatting on a toilet, or maybe this time he might even be nude taking a shower, and that was the last thing I wanted to see. Still, my interest in seeing the bruise soon overcame my fear of seeing Mike in his birthday suit. To be honest, Mike didn’t really seem like the type of person to stand around nude anyway, but then again, did I really know the guy?


          With my decision made, I got out of bed and silently made my way to the door, opening it quietly, all while trying not to wake up my roommates. I closed the door but not all the way as the latch makes a noise every time it latches, so I decided to keep it open just a crack and that way I can just quietly push it back open when I get back. Somehow I managed to do this without a hitch. To my luck, the hallway was empty and no staff members were in sight. I quickly made my way to the bathroom before anyone could spot me and where, my luck continued to hold out… the bathroom too was completely empty. To my relief, this even included a possible showering Mike! I even doubled checked all the stalls just to be certain that Mike wasn’t hiding inside one of the toilets. You never knew, plus it would have given me great pleasure to flush him down the drain! Of course he probably would know this already anyway.


          With the Mike issue now settled and put to rest for the time being, I was now able to focus on what I came in here to do in the first place. By the way, if I failed to mention this before, I will do so now; the home leaves the bathroom lights on all the time and so it comes in handy especially at night when it is darker than normal in the home. Anyway, the lights being on already meant I didn’t have to turn them on and possibly awaken or alert anyone that I was up. This meant I would hopefully have some free time unless one of the boys had to get up and pee. Because of this possibility, I decided to get this over as quickly as possible.


          I walked over by the mirrors and took off my shirt and was shocked by what I saw... or would it be more appropriate to say, what I didn’t see! Expecting to see a huge bruise on my stomach, I was completely shocked when I looked in the mirror and saw the reflection of my perfect skin. There was not one hint of a bruise! Not believing what I was seeing in the mirror, as if it was lying to me somehow, I looked down directly at my stomach, hoping to find what the mirror failed to show me… but it was still the perfect skin of a child that I only saw! No discoloration, no bruising of any kind! Not even one small scratch!


          “How is this possible?!” My mind screamed. “How could he hit me like he did and so many times and not even leave a mark? How can he do this and yet I can still feel the pain of it this morning?!”


          I wasn’t sure one bit how this was possible, even with all of my adult knowledge this seemed unlikely but yet here I was staring at the inevitable. Thoughts whirred through my head and land on a possible suspect who could have made this possible but I don’t understand why Mike would do it or what he would get out of it. No matter who was at fault though, I was sure of one thing… there went my only evidence I had to nail Peter! How was I going to get rid of him now? I was really hoping to have him gone by this morning because I really wasn’t looking forward to whatever he had planned for me today. Whatever it was, it didn’t sound very appealing to me and I had a feeling it was most likely planned in such a way that it too would leave no witnesses and be un-reportable. The thing was, we were back to no witnesses and no evidence, meaning my word against Peter’s word and the chances were that Mrs. Betty was going to side in Peter’s favor, not because she would believe him, but because she gives every boy the benefit of the doubt until proof is given. Of course there is the case that Peter has been given the benefit of the doubt on many cases already and Mrs. Betty is pretty fed up with him. So there is a slim chance she may go in my favor but it would be a very slim chance. The question is, would it be worth it to mine or my friends’ safety, by taking the chance to report it?


          “So, I am damned if I do, and I am damned if I don’t!” I told my mirrored self, who, of course, just stared back at me stupidly.


          I threw up my hands in protest and so did my mirrored image, which I thought was a little funny at first but then it started to creep me out a little as I thought about Mike and his weird fascination when it comes to the boys’ bathrooms around here. I decided that it was just best to go ahead and go back to bed and try to get a little more sleep before it was time to get up. One good reason to get back to bed was the fact that I had to do something I haven’t done in years, and I really wasn’t looking forward to it! I cringed at the thought of the fact that in just a few hours I would be sitting in a 3rd grade classroom. If someone had told me that I would have ended up back in grade school, I would have never believed it! Anyway, as bad as that thought was, there were worst ones I could think of and right now all I wanted to do was make sure that I didn’t fall asleep during class. So, I threw my pajama shirt back on, and headed back to my bedroom.


          As I crawled back into bed to get a couple more hours of sleep from what I could guess, as I wasn’t sure of the time; I wondered if I would be able to sleep at all considering how soaked and loaded my diaper was. That wasn’t a problem it turned out, sleep was easier to come by then I had expected as I was out within 5 minutes after my head hit the pillow.




          When I awoke next that morning for my diaper change, I felt all my prayers had been answered! At some point during my sleep, a plan came to me to get rid of Peter once and for all! It seemed fail proof and I was sure it was certain to work. There was no way that the home could keep him here after my plan goes into effect. It was actually quite simple, at least I thought so. There were a few problems that I needed to somehow work out but I felt I would find a way to do so. For one, I would need to leave the school at some point and somehow make it to my home while my wife was at her job. I knew her daily schedule and could make my way to our place while she was out during the day. I then would break into our home. I knew we didn’t have a security system, even though we show a sticker saying we do. The plan was, once inside the house; steal some small expensive stuff like my wife’s jewelry and I knew where there was a stash of money and where my gun was. The money and gun were items that my wife didn’t know about since they were in my hidden safe that she also didn’t know about. I had always planned on telling her about the safe as it held all our important documents like life insurance policies and other documents along with the cash and my gun and rounds of ammunition for the gun, but I never got around to doing it. There were some other knick knacks that I knew my wife would notice missing and that were worth some money. Anyway, I would take all of this and then plant it all into Peter’s bag Wednesday morning before he leaves for school since the earliest I could put this plan into action would be tomorrow as I would need to use today to get some information I needed plus find a way to wrap up the few items that need to be dealt with still in order to make this plan work. I noticed last night that everyone got their school bags ready for school early, so that they would be ready for them Monday morning, and put them in their cubbies next to the front entrance that way I guess they won’t forget them. I even noticed that I had a cubby and there was a bag already in it for me with school supplies. From what AJ told me, they did this every school night before bed so that their bag would be ready for the next morning. Anyway, it would be easy for me to slip the stuff into Peter’s bag in the morning while everyone was at breakfast. Of course I would have to hope that he didn’t go through it before getting to school, otherwise it would throw off the whole plan. Peter didn’t look like the type though to care for school that much and I didn’t see him as someone who would purposefully want to go through his bag.


          There were several other things that had to go right but the essential idea was that once Peter got to the school and walked through the metal detector, he would set it off. I was told about the metal detectors from the guys who were trying to prepare me and Steven about them. They had explained that they were in all the schools in the area. Anyway, as soon as the alarms go off, the security guards would search his backpack and not only find the stolen loot but also my gun. There is no way that Peter would be able to talk his way out of that one and with his record, there is no way they would ever believe him about not stealing the stuff or not knowing about the gun. I did consider just taking the gun as it would be easier to plant it with having less to worry about, like setting up Peter for robbing my home and making sure that he has no alibi during the time period when the home break in could have occurred. The thing was, I wanted to make sure the kid went away for a long time and never got out again, at least not in my childhood if I have to relive it that is! My thought was that the extra charge would help in making sure he would be put away longer.


          “You really stink this morning! PeeU!” AJ groaned and gave me a look as he was awakened by Kelly’s Jolly greeting and blasted me out of my thoughts.


“Good Morning!”  She said jubilantly as she entered our room.


          I got out of bed and ignored Kelly for the time being and glared at AJ. Last night’s events replayed through my mind and even though it wasn’t his fault and I knew it, I still couldn’t help feeling angry that neither he or Steven came to my help last night, or at least were there to witness anything and therefore be able to help me get Peter removed from the Home. As my anger boiled, it seemed to get hotter and hotter and it was suddenly now getting close to boiling over! I think Kelly was the first to notice it, probably because the other 2 were still trying to wake up.


          “Don’t tell me Ben that you guys had another fight?” She asked, sounding disappointed that we three could so easily throw away such a good friendship.


AJ jumped down from his bed and looked at Kelly in confusion, then looked at me and for the first time noticed my anger written all over my face. This only caused him to look even more confused and shocked as can be expected. To be honest, neither he nor Steven had clue as to what was going on at that moment and they at least deserved to know why I was upset right then, unfortunately, as much as I wanted to also tell Kelly, I knew that I couldn’t do so as it would have very bad consequences on myself and my friends.


“I don’t know what is going on here with Ben, but I can tell you that neither Steven nor I had any fights or arguments with him. As far as I know everything was cool between us before going to bed last night.” AJ quickly stated in defense for both himself and Steven.


“Hmmm, and what do you say Ben?” Kelly asked in her sweet girlish voice that makes her sound so young and innocent at times.


I sighed, took a breath and shook my head and relaxed my muscles and tried to let go of all my anger before saying, “No Kelly, we haven’t been fighting. I just woke up from a bad dream and it made me so defenseless feeling and angry is all.” I lied, hopefully convincingly.


Steven yawned and rubbed his eyes and as if now finally waking up and asked, “What’s going on? Did I miss something?” He looked worriedly at the 3 of us as he posed that question and maybe he was starting to think he did indeed miss something but then suddenly it looked as if his nose had become assaulted by my stench that was infiltrating the room. “Oh my God! Who allowed the sewer to back up in our room?!”


Of course as he said this, Steven along with everyone else, looked in my direction. It of course was no use denying the fact that it wasn’t me as soon it would be discovered that I was in fact the culprit. I remembered the fact, embarrassing as it was, of how I ended up crapping in my diaper. In fact, now that I had been in this dirty diaper all this time, my butt was starting to feel a little uncomfortable and even though I didn’t have kids of my own or experience in diapers, I did at least know about what happens to babies who are left in a dirty diaper for too long… They get diaper rash!


Ashamed, I lowered my head and stared at my feet, which I kind of shuffled a little nervously.


“I’m sorry, I had a real bad accident last night and I guess it was extra messy and smelly.” I mumbled embarrassingly.


“Oh sweetie, there is nothing to be ashamed about.” Kelly told me before looking towards Steven. “Steven honey, can you be a dear and get up out of your bed and we will use it to change you guys on this morning as it is much easier for me to do it there then on the bunks.” As Steven got up from his bed, Kelly placed down the changing mat on it then picked me up and put me on it. “You first Sweetie, that way we can clear the room of that smell, I will even spray the room down with air freshener.” As Kelly began to get me ready by removing my PJ bottoms and then started to remove my diaper, she decided to tell us some news. “Oh by the way, soon I am going to have a new cart. One that will actually be thin enough to fit through the door of even your room. This new cart will include a diaper changing table for you boys so that I and the others can more easily change you. It will make diaper changes faster for us and less back breaking as well.”


Now this was interesting and even though it felt like it would be even more of a setback for me as it was a humiliation thing that I really did not want to go through, at the same time I did find some weird sense of interest in the thoughts it provoked; plus I liked the fact that it would help out Kelly, which I was always more than willing to do for her as she was about the only one here on a regular basis that truly seemed to care about us boys. In fact, I was sure if it were up to her, she would do something about Peter if had told her about what he did last night but because she does not have the last word in this matter when it comes to punishing the boys here at the home, she could not guarantee our safety and therefore I could never tell her. She would also feel it was her duty to report any suspected wrong doings, especially with us, so in fact, her trying to help us will only doom us.


As Kelly started of the mammoth job of cleanup duty on my poopy rear end and boy parts, yes it actually made it all the way up to them; she started to notice the beginnings of a diaper rash. It also didn’t pass my attention of how painful it was when she first rubbed across the rash. I had to bite my lip from crying out in pain as she cleaned the areas where my rash was at. You would think that washing away the mess would help relieve some of the pain but instead it just became more unbearable and I found myself no longer able to keep myself from crying. I could tell that Kelly was doing her best to be as gentle as she could be to my sore area but it still didn’t matter as the rash was so inflamed that even the slightest touch was hurting me. I was just glad when she was done wiping and she put some diaper cream on it that helped sooth the fire that was inflamed all over my diaper area and allowed me to at least get control over my emotions.


“Oh my Ben, it looks like you are starting to get a bad diaper rash, I really wish you didn’t have to start school today!” She said worriedly as she had cleaned the last of the mess away before rambling on. “I would really feel much better having you here, that way, we could make sure you were changed more often and that your rash was taken care of properly.” At this she sighed and shook her head. “Unfortunately, they will not let me keep you out of school today just for a diaper rash, if it were infected, it would be a different story, but it isn’t and so I have to follow procedure.” She sighed again, and so did I as I used my hand to wipe away a few remaining tears, though she thought I was sighing for the reasons she was speaking for but I knew if I didn’t go to school today, it would mean 1 more extra day with Peter, and that was just not something I was willing to deal with.  “All I can hope for now is that the school Nurse will read my note that I am sending with you today and follows my instructions.” She said as she started collecting her supplies and interrupting my thoughts, she rambled on, “Also, I am sorry, but it is probably going to be sore at least all day today, but I promise you that when you get back here after school, I will have a special soothing cream to help heal that up quickly.” Kelly stated hopefully as she patted me on the leg and told me to take my dirty diaper and put it on the cart on my way to the shower.


I couldn’t help wonder if that meant she was going to be working all day today or if she was just going to come back this afternoon specially for me. I decided at that moment not to put a lot of time thinking about it as I figured I would find out this afternoon what she meant. For now I decided to do what she told me, at least for the most part. Normally I would do just as she told me and drop of my dirty used cloth diaper at her cart and then move on to the shower, this time however, I decided to go back in the room after finding the air freshener on her cart and after asking if it was okay, started spraying the room down as she started to next remove Steven’s diaper. When Kelly pulled the tabs and then pulled back the diaper from Steven’s groin, it turned out that I wasn’t the only one surprised to find that I hadn’t been the only one who had soiled himself last night.


Tears welled up in Steven’s eyes and he began to sob.


“I… I… I swear… I… really do not know how that happened.” He cried.


“Shhh, it is okay honey. Accident’s like these happen sometimes. I even had to help AJ clean up after messing his underpants a couple times during one of his wet nights.” Kelly tried to calm Steven but in the process horrified AJ by giving away I guess a top secret piece of information about him that he didn’t want anyone to know… Even us!


“Kelly! How could you tell them that?! You promised me that you would never tell anyone that about me!” He cried out, now in tears himself.


I could see that Kelly quickly realized her mistake and probably wished she could go back in time to take it back, maybe I should introduce her to Mike, but the cat was out of the bag now and there was no way of putting it back in. Kelly did her best to try and calm both the crying boys but neither of them was listening at that moment. Steven was just too embarrassed that he messed himself, something he hadn’t done in a while and AJ was upset that Kelly, an adult who he looked up to more than most and trusted, had just told one of his deepest secrets and in his mind, betrayed him and his trust.


I decided that maybe it would be easier on Kelly if I helped out and while she dealt with Steven, I went over to AJ and hugged him tightly; even though I had felt all that anger with him and Steven earlier, I knew in my heart that my anger was not for them but was for Peter and myself for letting my guard down! Right then, what I wanted AJ to know, was that, no matter what, his secret would always be safe with us and he should know better and that Kelly knew it already and that was why she told Steven the story in hopes that it would help calm him. It took me several minutes to calm him and get this message through to him, but in the end I was successful in that attempt and he did get the message.


Kelly had just finished cleaning up Steven as I got through to AJ. Still sniffling a little but no longer crying AJ walked over to the bed to take Steven’s place; he could obviously see that unlike himself, Steven was still sobbing, just not as loudly as before. As I watched the scene before me, that of AJ wiping the remaining tears and snot from his face and him looking intently at Steven, I could see the pain in AJ’s eye’s and therefore knew what he was about to do. At least I was pretty sure that I knew what he was about to say to Steven; call it an intuition or just call it a good guess.


“Um… Steven…” He started but Steven didn’t even act as if he heard him so AJ reached down and grabbed his shoulder and tried to shake him a little to see if that would help get his attention while trying to call out his name again, only louder this time. “Steven! Hey man, please you have to hear me out!” This time they made eye contact. “Um… Well… Oh man… Shit AJ, just get it out of your mouth!” AJ berated himself as if he were talking to someone else and not to his own self. “Kelly was telling the truth when she said that I occasionally sometimes pooped my underpants at night. I guess it happened more after I would get rejected from a foster home. That last home I was in, after they rejected me, I came back here and for the next month, I wet the bed… No, make that soaked the bed every single night! The first night back I woke up that next morning soaked but also, as I got up and started to move around, I felt the mess in my underpants. It was sooo embarrassing! I was too afraid to leave my room, which luckily I had to myself but I knew I couldn’t stay in here forever and that sooner or later, someone was going to come looking for me. It was my first morning here at the home and like it was for you two…” At this, AJ glanced at both me and Steven before continuing his story. “I didn’t know who to trust and even though bedwetting was common for me and that most likely the Home knew about it, pooping myself like I had, was not! It wasn’t like I never had done it before. In fact I had messed my pants in school a couple times while at my last placement, but that was because like at Church, I was not able to hold it until I was allowed to use the bathroom by the teacher who completely refused to allow me to go before recess break! But it was different to poop myself without knowing it, that rarely happened with me and only happened during my sleep, and up until then, the last time it had happened was after I got rejected from my previous foster family! That time I went a month with night time pooping accidents happening at least 3 or 4 times a week and the boys at the institution that I was at during that time used to make so much fun of me that I cried myself to sleep every night. I was forced to wear a diaper then too and I hated the people that forced me to do it because it made me feel bad about myself. Now if they had been more like you guys and Kelly here, maybe I would have been more acceptive to the diaper thing a long time ago, but they just didn’t force me into them, they also humiliated me because I had to wear them! When I got sent to here, I was not only ashamed and upset from being rejected by another foster family, though I should have been happy since they were one of the worst I ever had, I was almost sure that this place would be like all the other places I had been in and would treat me badly over my problem. Since I came in the night, after everyone went to bed, Mrs. Betty wasn’t here to greet me. I did meet Kevin and he was originally going to place me in one of the larger dorm rooms, but after begging him for something else, that I would even take a closet, if it meant I didn’t have to be in a room with the other boys, he remembered about this room. At that time it was a storage area but he managed to make enough room for a cot for the night.”


All the time while AJ had been talking, Kelly had picked up Steven off the changing mat and since she didn’t want to interrupt AJ’s story, decided to wait for now before telling Steven to take care of his dirty diaper, she then had picked up AJ and put him on the changing mat but it turned out that he was dry that morning but still his diaper would be washed as it had been wrapped around him and had powder and diaper cream on it. With everyone now taken care of she really didn’t want to interrupt AJ telling his story but she knew that we needed to get in the shower and get ready for school still.


“I am sorry boy’s but you will have to continue this story elsewhere as you need to jump into the shower and get ready for school. Oh and Benji, I want you to be ready for me to put some more diaper cream on your butt if I am not here by the time you get out of the shower, okay?” She asked and I just nodded my head half paying attention but it satisfied her and she turned her attention to my roommates. “Steven, you and AJ, please remember to leave your diapers on the cart okay?”


“But Kelly, I didn’t even use mi…” AJ started to protest before Kelly cut him off.


“The diaper is still dirty as it has diaper cream and baby powder all over it!”


Both Steven and I wanted to hear the rest of AJ’s story but we also knew better to argue with Kelly. As we got to the shower in the bathroom and found several boys already in there, we knew better than to finish the story there and nodded to each other, in a silent way acknowledging that we would have to wait until we got back to the room.


Because of how many boys that was in there, we didn’t dawdle very long, the last thing we wanted to do, was be caught dead in the shower if Peter were to show up. The thought of which reminded me that I had yet to tell my friends of last night’s encounter with Peter. The one thing I also learned that morning, I didn’t want to ever shower again when I had a severe diaper rash because as soon as the water hit the rash, the pain exploded! I did try to wash the area with soap even and I found that was even a bigger mistake! This of course made my shower very quick!


When we returned to our room we started to get dressed for the day. Even though my rash was still stinging a little from the shower, my mind was elsewhere and I had totally forgot that Kelly wanted to put diaper cream on it. So in my haste to tell Steven and AJ about what had happened to me last night, I totally forgot about it and proceeded to just put on my GoodNite and get dressed for my first school day in God knows how many years.


It didn’t take very long to fill them in on what happened and they of course agreed with me that I was screwed without any proof. They even took turns looking at my still very sore stomach and sighed when they too saw no markings of any kind.


I had just slipped on my left shoe and started to tie it and Steven was slipping on his shirt when not only Kelly but also Jerry entered the room. As for AJ he had already tied his first shoe and was working on his second. I was at first a little shocked by the sudden appearance as I wasn’t expecting it as we had been talking about the Peter issue though luckily not loud enough for the 2 staff members to hear and the door suddenly opening not only scared the freaking shit out of us, not technically fortunately, but it also quieted our talk. I was also surprised to see Jerry there with Kelly there as well.


“Jerry, why are you working if Kelly is working?” I asked stupidly.


“I work every school day, Kelly works some of them as the 2nd person to help me. Since she is full time though, she works a split shift so once you guys leave for school, she leaves, she then has to return right before you guys come back and finish out her shift. That is when she works mornings with me, other times she is scheduled in the afternoons and works until Kevin or whoever works the night shift comes in. I guess you can say Kelly usually fills in wherever she is needed on the schedule in order to get her hours.” Jerry explained.


“That is right! But I do prefer the evening shifts the best as I don’t have to work a split shift then, and I get to spend all afternoon and evening with you boys.” Kelly said with a wink.


Jerry smiled at that and looked at me.


“Ben, I know that this might be a lot to ask of you as it being your first day and all, but since you have to report to the office this morning anyway, I want you to please drop this note off to the secretary for me.”


I looked at Jerry then at the note in his hand and suddenly felt a little worried and couldn’t help wondering if that note was about me or not and if so, how it might affect my plan!


“That note isn’t about me is it? Did I do something wrong?” I asked Jerry.


“Oh no buddy, it has nothing to do with you at all. In fact it is just that Alastair woke up this morning feeling a little under the weather and has been quite sick. We don’t want to send him to school like that and so in order to let the school know we usually just send them an official note so that they know why he or one of our boys isn’t in school.” Jerry explained.


As I reached out to take the note and watched as Jerry left the room, my mind whirred as it realized I just now had my golden ticket on how I was going to get out of school tomorrow. Before I could think on it too much though, Kelly interrupted my thoughts, I had of course expected that she was going to leave along with Jerry but it turned out that she hadn’t after all.


“Ben, I thought I told you to be ready for me to put some diaper cream on that rash of yours!” She stated very loudly, a little too loudly for my taste and I was afraid that others elsewhere in the Home had definitely heard what she had said. She then turned and looked at Steven and astonished me when she said, “I also need to talk to you as well about wearing a diaper to school today!”


Steven just gulped


“It seems that after some digging around, we were able to get your school records, well I should say that the state was able to get them and not only forward them to the school but also email a copy to us overnight last night. I just now had a chance to start looking over some of the notes made by Kevin who didn’t even mention the fact that your records came in for some reason but did make note of them, so I took a quick peek at them and found out a very disturbing issue that you haven’t been very honest with us about. Then again you haven’t had any problems that I know of since you been here but I am guessing it is due to a less stressful environment.”


As I started to take off my one shoe and remove my pants, I couldn’t help wondering what Kelly was going on about, but it almost sounded as if Steven had been holding out on us and had not told us something and as my mind started to spin and put what was said together, by fitting all the pieces in place, I was beginning to see what the lie was most likely about. I would bet dollars to donuts that Steven had lied when he had told us that he didn’t have daytime accidents and I really couldn’t blame him. Only willing to tell us enough to pity him, but not the full truth, for fear of shame. I bet anything the poor kid has either a nervous bladder or has stress induced accidents based on the statements made from Kelly.


Kelly didn’t wait for me to finish pulling my jeans down, she reached out and finished the job for me. Next she had me step out of my GoodNite and told me to go and lie back down on Steven’s bed. As I went to lie down on it I saw that she had put down the changing mat which I didn’t even notice had been lying on Steven’s bed this whole time. As she proceeded to generously apply a new thick coating of diaper cream to my rash, she continued her conversation with Steven, not caring about the fact that both me and AJ were in the room.


“Steven, one thing I don’t like is to be lied to, and I asked you privately a while back if you had issues during the day. I told you that you could trust me and that I was here to help you and when you said no, I even went to bat for you when Mrs. Betty suspected that you did have issues that first day you were here and you peed your pants!”


Again, at this sudden revelation being broadcast to us, Steven gulped and I could see the beginning of tears.


At seeing his tears, Kelly’s facial features softened and she looked at him apologetically.


“I am sorry Steven; I don’t know what got in to me… I have no excuse for my behavior; it was very unprofessional of me and uncalled for. I hope you can forgive me. I still have to ask you though, why didn’t you tell me the truth? According to those records you had daily accidents and not just 1 or 2 but multiple accidents and you were even messing yourself several times as well. Because of it, you were getting picked on so bad by the other kids that it became too much of a disturbance in the classroom. They had to put you in a special education class, not only because of your poor school grades but also because all the teachers said that with you in their classroom, they could not even begin to teach a class. The school documented where they sent home notes several times to your mother that they wanted her to have you put in diapers or you would not be allowed back in class if it continued. From the way it looks, you ended up here before the ultimatum came down and you got kicked out of school.”


Kelly let this sink in for a moment as she then turned to me.


“Benji darling, I know how much you really want to try wearing GoodNites to school today, but I really think you should think twice about that and wear a disposable diaper instead. I know you think it might make you look and feel like a baby, but think of it this way, would you rather have the extra protection and remain dry, or wear a GoodNite and take the chance it might leak like it has done already on you several times.” She pleaded her case with me, trying to get me to think reasonably about the situation.


I had to admit that she had a strong argument, but I also was afraid to be caught dead in a diaper. Before I could make my choice though, I was interrupted by Steven and what he said, was surprising.


“Ben…” He said sniffling a little. “She is right; you need to wear a diaper to school today just as she is right about me. I lied to you guys and you didn’t even know it.” He said sniffling.


It looked like he was about to break out in full out right crying again like earlier before he got changed and into the shower. There seemed to be a weight bearing down on his shoulders from the way he stood and looked so defeated as if the world had kicked him down over and over and it was now the final straw. Finally, it as if Steven couldn’t hold the weight any longer any sighed as he decided to unload some weighty truths.


“I am real sorry Ben, but I have been hiding something from you as well as from the people here at the home.” He revealed to me in a shaky voice. “To be real honest, I am surprised that you haven’t noticed, but I have been using your GoodNites during the day. When you weren’t paying attention, I would sneak them out of your drawer and then go to the bathroom stall and put them on. I kept thinking that I was going to get caught, but never did. Then on the Sunday morning before church, I knew there was no way I was going to make it all the way through service with just a GoodNite, So I grabbed one of Alastair’s diapers after I realized they keep several of them on the cart and with a lot of trouble I managed to get it on, it wasn’t perfect, but good enough to make it through the service. What amazed me is that I pooped in that diaper and no one even noticed it, not even you Ben.”


At this point he turned bright red with embarrassment I guess for revealing something so babyish for a big boy like him. I know I am always embarrassed in situations like that but I am quickly noticing that I am getting more and more adaptive to the fact and that scares me as well. I think it is that part of me that believes that the child part is starting to take root and grow faster in me. Soon there may not be any part of my adult-self left to remember and only the child self will remain and that is what scares me!


Steven sighed before going on. “I messed in a couple of your GoodNites as well.” He admitted and sighed again. “I guess it was only a matter of time before I pooped during the night too. Though to be honest, that usually happens more, so it is surprising that I lasted this long before it did. I was actually starting to think that maybe I was not having messing problems at night anymore, but this morning’s messing accident ruined that thought. I have wet myself at least once a day, if not more than that. Luckily the GoodNites can take usually more than one wetting and sometimes as many as 3 before I had to dispose of it. I had to actually go and ask one of the workers for more GoodNites for you, I just told them that I was helping you out and had noticed that you were running low and wanted to make sure you had plenty left. I was so glad when they gave me more than you ever had in the drawer before I came, so I put those extra in my drawer.”


As Steven revealed this to me, I couldn’t help wonder how I never noticed that my GoodNite supply had almost dwindled and then completely restocked itself. I guess, if I were to be honest with myself, it came down to not really paying attention to them missing or when they magically restocked themselves. Maybe a part of me thought someone from the home put the new ones there, but it still didn’t explain why I didn’t notice the missing ones. After hearing what Steven did, I wasn’t sure if I should be angry or not.


“Steven, why didn’t you just tell us the truth about your more serious bathroom issues?” AJ asked him quizzically.


“Well, at first it was because I was embarrassed but then after I had already lied to you about it, I felt even more ashamed about myself. Finally, my problem became really bad only since we moved here to Chicago, I am not saying I didn’t have the problem elsewhere, I will no longer lie about that and say I didn’t when in fact I did, it just wasn’t as bad. I only occasionally had an accident at school and home, more wetting than soiling, but anytime I was…” At this he stopped and looked embarrassingly at Kelly before deciding to proceed, most likely figuring that she probably had a good idea already the truth in this too. “Anytime I was molested it seemed my daytime accidents got worse than ever. When we moved here to Chicago, I was being molested by not only my Mom’s boyfriend here but also some of his other friends and that was just the beginning of it. Mom was becoming so mean to me that she wasn’t herself at all anymore. I mean, back before Chicago, even when she was high on something, she eventually came down from her high and was once again loving to me. During those times we got along for a while, but when she got here, she changed more than ever and I no longer recognized her as my mother anymore.” Steven Explained to us.


“I am so sorry to hear that your mom was being so mean to you and not like how she used to be.” AJ apologized to our friend softly and I concurred.


Steven smiled his appreciation to us but his face still looked sad and his heart seemed heavy as he continued his story. “I also had other stresses being put on me, like not being able to sleep at night half of the time because they would party to the wee hours before finally collapsing. In order to shut me up, my mom started shooting me up with some sort of cocktail to make me sleep. In the end I was stressed out more than I had ever been before and it had taken its toll on me at home and school and like Kelly said, the school was at their wits end because I couldn’t keep my pants dry for more than 15 minutes. As for my bowels, I am not sure why but I suddenly started to have issues controlling them for the first time in months, I mean, I hadn’t messed myself day or night in probably almost a year, than after being here for almost a month, I suddenly out of the blue lost control of my bowels during English class, of course my pants were already soaked and the kids were making all kinds of harassing remarks about it, but I was trying my best to just drone them out and in fact, I guess you could say that I was almost half in a dozed off state. It wasn’t until I felt the backside of my soaked underpants filling up that I became fully aware of what I was doing but by that time it was too late and I wasn’t able to stop it. After that came out of me I was shocked even more when another followed that I once again found I wasn’t able to stop, it just slipped right out of me as if it was butter. Boy was I afraid that someone was going to smell me but as I sat there, I didn’t smell any stink from what I did, at least not right away, then I made the mistake of trying to get more comfortable in my seat now that I was sitting on a ball of poop in my pants, and when I did that, it released a smell that was God awful and everyone knew instantly it had to be their favorite piss boy who made that smell!”


It was so hard to sit there and listen to how badly Steven had been treated by people just because he had a problem he couldn’t control. It made me want to smack someone, unfortunately, I was just a small boy and the offenders in this case were nowhere in sight.


“From that day I continued to have those accidents at school and at home. In fact, I found that I was not using the toilet at all unless my mom got real mean and made me sit on the thing for as long as she could before others in the household threw a fit that I was holding up the bathroom and it was useless as I would just get up and go in my pants anyways, which ended up being the case most of the time. As I said, the school was really upset and mad that my mom wasn’t doing anything about it. The fact that I didn’t have clean clothes to change into, didn’t help and the school didn’t have enough extra clothes to keep me in dry clean clothes through the day, so in the end they just decided if I was going to pee or poop my pants, they were going to try and ignore it, unfortunately, the other students wouldn’t, which made class very difficult for me and my teachers. In the end I was glad to be sent to special education. Fewer kids; and half of them were in diapers, which was cool for me! Still the teachers complained and the students caused problems in the hallways and instead of punishing them, they punished me as the trouble starter!


I was so shocked to hear this and from the expression on AJ’s and Kelly’s faces, they were too, but after hearing what I have heard of Steven’s story, I shouldn’t be! The poor little guy had been through more than his fair share of crap then any child should ever have to go through and this was just uncalled for. All I could hope for was that all those people, including his mom, would go away for a very long time. I know that might make me sound like a heartless soul to say that about a kid’s mom, especially since he still loves her so much that he is still willing to look past all the crap that she put him through! But you know what, as long as Steven remained safe away from her and her crowd, I didn’t give a damn! I hoped his Uncle took him far away from her and never let her see him again!


“What I am trying to say Ben is this?” Steven sighed here before continuing. “You are not the only one that needs to wear a diaper to school, I do too, I need them just as much if not more then you do full time.” He finally admitted to us all.


“Well Steven, it is big of you to admit it when you need something like diapers. To be honest Steven, if we had sent you to school today, and if you had as much problems as you had at your last school, the school here would have demanded the same thing here as well. They unfortunately don’t allow kids who are not potty trained in class unless diapered. They don’t mind occasional accident prone children, but kids who wet like you did are classified as not potty trained and they do not allow them in class without diapers. That is the one time we have to, or I should say the State, has to step in and force a child to wear a diaper. I also want you to know that we have noticed the soiled GoodNites and the missing diaper and haven’t said anything about it yet because we were not sure who the culprit was. We had some suspects of course but as you know the Homes policy, we like to have more evidence than just suspicion. With your admittance to stealing diaper, and disposing of the poopy GoodNites, we can now close out that mystery. Like I said, I didn’t know who it was, but I did notice that one of Alastair’s diapers was missing on Sunday. Just so you know, I do count those so I always know how many are on my cart at all times. I knew that Ben didn’t take it, nor did AJ. Neither one of them wanted to wear it to begin with. Again I had no idea who swiped it, but it confirmed my earlier suspicion that we had someone here at the Home who had a problem and was not reporting it. Mrs. Betty did finger you as a suspect though Steven, but I believed you so I stuck up for you and told her it had to be someone else, of course she kept telling me it had to be someone with access to the GoodNites which were locked up except for those who had them and there are only a couple in the home who do and we had already counted out the others for obvious reasons. So it had to either be you or someone who was getting access to the other GoodNite users, was what she stated. Still we had no proof so we figured the person would sooner or later slip up and sure enough the truth is out. Steven, it isn’t a matter of choice for you. By the time the School looks over your file this morning which by that time I am sure you will have already have had several problems, am I right?” At this she looked at Steven.


He looked shamefully down at his feet and nodded his head.


“Well once they figure it out, they will be demanding that we come and pick you up and with Mrs. Betty holding down the fort here with a sick child, she will not be able to easily come and get you because of this matter. She would have to call someone like me in, and I would not be happy one bit if I had to come and pick you up over something like this. It breaks down to this, the school is going to have an order by this afternoon, how do I know, because, every so often we have a child whose toilet issues are so bad like yours, yet refuses to wear diapers and like you, and does not let us know how bad they truly are! This order will be for us by proxy of the State, as your caregiver, to make sure that you are in an actual diaper, not a pull on diaper for your case as severe as it is, but an actual diaper. We of course will have to contact your caseworker, to let them know of the order and the fact that you will not be allowed back in public school until the order is followed. Of course your caseworker is going to want to more than ever, especially now, from what you told me, to get you checked out fully. Hopefully it won’t be too late to get a full rape kit done on you. Anyway, just to make this short, because I already knew what the outcome of this day was going to be, I have placed a call and woke up Mrs. Betty and told her about the school records and she isn’t happy with you for lying or me for backing you. I got my ass chewed out by her for allowing myself to be emotionally invested in you boys beyond my job’s duties, which is why I came down on you so hard. I know it isn’t an excuse for me to be mean to you, it is just complicated when you become an adult and you have to worry about so many things like a job, food, rent, and stuff like that. Plus I do worry about you boys and nothing will ever make me stop doing that! She told me before she let me go that you would not be attending school today, at least not this morning. Mrs. Betty said she would be coming in early and she would be contacting your caseworker and letting him know of the situation. Until he makes a decision on what to do next, we can’t send you to school. He may just opt out of sending you at all since you will most likely be going back to Germany soon with your Uncle. If so, that will make things a lot easier, but it should be noted that we should still get you in actual protection here.”


As the sentence was handed down, with tears in his eyes, Steven agreed with Kelly.


“Okay Kelly, I will do whatever you think is best. I am so sorry you got in trouble over me, I promise that I never intended for anyone to get in trouble.”


“I know that sweetie, just from now on, please don’t hide the truth from us okay?”


“Um, okay. What do you want me to do then?”


“Well, you can start by taking off your pants and underwear and as soon as I have Ben in his diaper, I will get you in one too.”


Kelly had been so wrapped up in her discussion this whole time that she hadn’t been paying attention and forgot all about me. The last thing she had done was put baby powder on me, but now with her attention back on me she started to tape the fresh disposable up on me, making sure it was nice and tight.


“Steven, please take off your pants and underwear and lay down on your bed while I get your diapers ready” Kelly instructed him, which he immediately obeyed without question. “Now Ben Honey, when at school today, the other note I am going to give you will authorize the school to use diapers from Alastair’s supply for today. It is my hope that by this evening or the end of the week at the latest that we will have your own. I plan on leaving a note for Mr. Jessup when he shows up here today, which I am sure he will if Mrs. Betty has anything to say about it! I also wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t come by and scoop you out of school as well, if he ends up taking Steven to the doctor, I know that Mrs. Betty said that he wanted you boys to go at the same time and that way not have to have separate appointments and waste the staff’s time here at the Home. So don’t be surprised if you get yanked out of class today.” Kelly informed me and I actually smiled at the prospect of not having to suffocate through a whole day of school if I didn’t have too.


As I finished getting redressed, Kelly diapered Steven into one of the thick cloth diapers and as much as AJ and I wanted to stick around and talk to him, Kelly told us that we had to get down to breakfast right then or we were not going to have time to eat before the bus came.


Before I knew it we were on our way to the bus stop. It wouldn’t be until much later that I would realize that we had forgotten all about AJ’s story.




I had of course followed the rest of the boys towards the bus stop where we would be picked up at. At first I thought with a group of kids as large as ours, they would actually be picking us up right from the home itself, but was surprised to learn that we had to actually walk down the street to where there were even more kids waiting to be picked up. I found out also that because AJ and Cody were in the Jr. High School, they would not be getting on the same bus as me. From what I was told, their school was several blocks away from the Grade School that I would be attending. What turned out even worse was that the High School was next door to the Grade School and because Peter and his older friends attended the 9th Grade and were freshman, they would be on the same bus as me. Something in my gut told me that Peter had realized this and that I better be on the lookout. Unfortunately, besides my friends talking my ear off, my mind was on my plan for when I got to school.


I knew that I didn’t have a lot of time and I wasn’t familiar at all with the school, but almost all schools nowadays had some sort of computer center, whether it was in the Library or a separate room, I wasn’t sure, but I had to find it. My goal was simple; I needed to find a computer with a scanner and scan the excuse note and save it to the thumb drive that was given to me as one of my school supplies. This also cemented my belief that there must be a computer center somewhere. I did have some decent computer skills and knew the types of editing programs I needed and was pretty sure that most schools would have them these days to teach students how to use them. I could then use the program to edit the new note, except with my name and tomorrows date on it and make it look as official as the one I have in my hand and use that as my way out of school tomorrow. I would just need to get either Tyler or Alastair, if he was feeling better, to be nice enough without asking too many questions, to take the note to the office for me.


The beginning of my plan was starting to unfold; now I just needed a way to get some money for either bus or taxi fare. It would take me forever by bus to get to my house and I didn’t know the bus route or the way to get there from where I was to be to quite honest. I would much rather take a taxi, that way I could use a close by address near to my home and be in walking distance. Still, taking a taxi would be costly and it would be hard for me to come up with that much money. No, my only hope at this point was to try and scrape up enough money for bus fare. Not sure where I would scrape the money up from but it is definitely a lot easier to come up with a couple bucks then it is $20 or $30. I would also have to use the computer today to figure out where I am in regards to where my home is and figure out the bus route. Maybe I might get lucky and I will be closer than I know and I can actually walk there in time to do what I need to do and take a cab back before school gets out.


I was so wrapped up in these thoughts that I hadn’t realized that we had not only gotten to the bus stop but the busses had arrived as well. I guess that was why I didn’t see the older boy creep up behind me or was aware of what he was about to do until I heard AJ cry out my name.


“Ben! Watch out! Behind you!” He shouted out.


Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a small boy hurtling himself through the air but it was too late. The older boy had grabbed my pants and with a quick yank, pulled them right down to my ankles, exposing my diaper to everyone! There I stood in front of the group kids, my pants puddled at my feet and my diapered butt exposed; worst of all, my diaper already had a small yellow tint on the front from an earlier wetting that I didn’t even remember doing, and everyone was pointing at it!


Suddenly, everyone was laughing; not just those from the Home but all the kids from the neighborhood that were about to get on the buses in front of us. I also couldn’t help noting that there were also kids on the buses pointing out at me and laughing.


One boy pushed down the window of the bus and whistled loudly and shouted, “Nice legs there diaper boy! Oops, looks like the little itty baby boy had an accident. Maybe somebody should call his Mommy!”


“Aw, he don’t have a Mommy, he’s one of those boys from the Brat Home!” Laughed another.


That last comment didn’t go over well with the boys from the Home, but for the most part they allowed it anyway as they were still laughing at me.


I looked around at all of them, I was in complete shock, so much so, that I couldn’t even get myself to reach down and pull my pants back up. Tears eventually came to my eyes as the child part of me took over and I broke down in shame. I didn’t even hear the struggle going on behind me, one that kept me from being splattered on the sidewalk by the bully that had started this. I didn’t hear my flying savior screaming his lungs off as he had put himself in harm’s way to stop the brute who had embarrassed me so badly, and even though he didn’t stop him from exposing my diaper to everyone present, who would of course tell the rest of their peers at their individual schools about the fucked up diaper boy, he did stop him from landing a fist to the back of my head that I had no idea was coming. Instead of myself taking the beating that was very obviously meant for me, someone else took it instead and as I said, I had no idea yet that it even occurred! Thankfully he didn’t have to for long, a couple parents, and the bus drivers, suddenly appeared and were taking charge of the situation. Still none of them seemed to come over to check on me, they in fact were ignoring me and rushed right past me which made no sense, of course I still had no idea about the commotion going on behind me, all I knew about, was the fact that I just had been humiliated! AJ was the one who did come to my rescue. He rushed over to me and helped me by pulling my pants back up and snapping them back around my waist. He then took me by the hand like the little kid I looked like and led me to my bus. Since the bus driver was still busy on the sidewalk, AJ led me to an empty seat and told me to sit. Without thinking, I did as he told me and was sad when he said goodbye and left me on the bus alone. I had forgotten that he was not going to be riding with me on the bus. It was about now that I finally started to become more aware of my surroundings, though I instantly regretted coming out of my protective state as I noticed that a lot of people on the bus were staring at me and whispering under their breaths. The rest of the kids were looking out the window at the sidewalk and it made me wonder what had happened out there besides my pants being pulled down that required all this attention.


As I looked out the window, I watched as the crowd of kids dispersed and got on their respective buses. When enough of them had left the sidewalk, I was finally able to see not only the big High School bully who had pulled down my pants being held back by 2 grown men, but I also saw Tyler, and he didn’t look like he was doing too good. One of the bus drivers was helping him towards the bus and I could tell that he was limping slightly on his leg. Both his jeans and coat had been torn and it looked like there might have been blood on them. There was definitely blood on his face. I was shocked at what I saw!


As I watched Tyler through the window, my view of him was suddenly blocked out by none other than the one person I wanted to not see that day! It of course was Mike and he was again showing up at the worst possible time and doing it in a very inappropriate public place, where of course I could see and hear him but no one else could and if I were to try and talk out loud to him, everyone would think I were nuts! Sometimes I think that might be Mike’s agenda all along, to make everyone, including me, think I am nuts!


“You know that little boy is only hurt because he protected you! He put you before himself, knowing that he was most likely going to get hurt! He didn’t care about that as long as you didn’t get hurt because you are his friend and he cares about you and doesn’t want to see any harm come your way! Even little kids can show us the truth and the lesson we need to learn at times, try to take this lesson and learn from it, as it is the same lesson I have been trying to teach you all along!”


Before I could respond, which I really didn’t want to, Mike was once again gone and Tyler was now being seated next to me. Seeing him smile at me through a little bit of pain, brought on a sudden recall of the events that had happened at the bus stop and this time I saw them as if I were outside of my body and witnessing them as another person altogether. I watched as the events played on the movie screen of my mind. I cringed when I noticed that Tyler saw the bully heading my way and was amazed at how he launched himself towards the big thug! I was horrified seconds later as I watched myself just a couple feet in front of my friend and this behemoth, and witnessed as Tyler got the shit knocked out of him! No matter how badly he got beat though, he never gave up and continued to keep the bully’s attention from me and busy until help could arrive. I had to admit, I was shocked at how much punishment that Tyler took for me and we barely even knew each other. I found this pretty ironic as I would never put myself in danger for someone I barely knew and didn’t think it was very smart for him to do it for me! Don’t get me wrong, I was thankful that he did as I might have been in even worse condition then he was, but still, there is just no way I would allow myself to be hurt like he did. I would have rather go and get help instead, if need be, get someone from the Boys Home!


“Tyler, you okay?” I asked shakenly.


“Yes, just sore is all.” He moaned silently as he leaned back into the seat. “The Driver says I still have to go to school and I will have to report to the office for fighting, though I may get to go home if the school allows it as I am pretty sure my ankle is messed up!”


I was worried as he said this as he was going to be the one to show me the way to the office and now that he was to report to the office right away, I would probably need to go there as well. This would not go well with my plan as I still needed to make a copy of the note first. Another thing I had been trying to think of was how to get to my house was at. As I said, I currently had no money for a taxi or bus fare. This meant my only way of getting to my house was to walk. The likelihood of being able to walk to my house in the time allotted was very slim, and I didn’t want to be taking chances walking across Chicago all day! This meant my only other option was to either find or steal the couple bucks I would need for bus fare, this would mean that I would have to find the bus route. One of my goals today would be to find out the best way to get to my home and the bus route that gets me closest to my destination while on the computer at school today. I wish I wasn’t destitute like this, it makes me feel so helpless and it has been a very long time since I even felt close to this. I unfortunately at the moment, due to losing my wallet the other night, didn’t even have a penny to my name! Now, there was a possibility that between now and tomorrow morning that I could find the small amount I would need to get on the bus but I really didn’t think that was likely and the chances of the Home being actually close enough to be within walking distance in the time I had allotted, was even less likely! This meant I would have to do something that I despised even thinking about, but if everything went to plan, AJ would never even notice his missing money… at least I hoped not.


Not long after I first got to know AJ, I learned from him about how he had been saving all the money he had found or had earned at various side jobs through his times in the foster care system. I had to say I was shocked that he not only managed to save it up and not spend it, but also kept it hidden and out of the clutches of his foster siblings and parents! Now to be honest, it really wasn’t a lot; it just looked like there was due to it all being change in a jar. My plan, if absolutely need be, which would most likely be the case, was to wait until AJ and Stephen both went to sleep and steal enough money from the jar to cover the bus fare. I would then return the money as soon as I can when no one was in the room. Now if I got caught doing this, it would not only mean the possible end of my plan or at least a hold on it, but it could also mean a good possibility, the end of my friendship with AJ. This thought really tore me up inside as I couldn’t bear the thought of losing my friendship with AJ. He of course would tell the others how much of a scum bucket I was and if I did remain a kid, my life as one would not be a pleasant one!


“Damn you Mike!” I thought to myself! “You really, royally, screwed me! I know my life wasn’t a basket full of rainbows but at least it was better than this crap! How the fuck am I supposed to fix my life when I am in a situation like this?”


Of course I didn’t expect him to answer me as he yet has never answered any of my questions directly. It seemed that all he cared about was keeping me a kid and how I interacted with the other kids around me, but he forgets that I am not a kid anymore and that I am an adult! I was always taught the philosophy that ‘children should be seen and not heard’ but I never thought I would be living it right now!


Speaking of not being heard, I tried my best to ignore the kids who continued to tease me while the bus made its way towards the schools, picking up other students along the way. When we finally did make the schools, the bus stopped at the Grade school first.


“Um… Tyler, you couldn’t help me out with something real quick before going to the office?” I asked as I helped him off the bus and towards the school entrance.


While I waited for his response, I took a quick glance at the school area grounds so that I could see if it would be possible to easily leave from here or not. If it was not going to be possible from leaving directly from the school, I would have to leave from the bus stop, which was busy enough that I could slip away probably unnoticed, unfortunately, after what happened today, I would probably be easily missed if I did not get on the bus and the boys from the Home, like Peter, would know that I should be there, as I would have left the Home with them. This meant that this would not be the preferred way, even though it was the way I wanted to do it originally.


“Okay, but we need to make it real quick as I really don’t feel too good.” Tyler answered with a slight whimper. “What do you need to do?” he managed to ask.


“I need to find the computer lab.”


“Oh, that is easy. It is next to the school Library.”


“Cool, can you lead the way?” I asked and he nodded his head slightly and with my help, led the way.


Because of his help, I was able to find my way to the computer lab quickly and once we got there, I sat him down in a chair and I sat down in another one in front of one of the computers that was next to the scanner. As luck would have it, we were the only one in the room and I found it shocking that they didn’t even have an adult present or the room locked, but I guess they figured that most kids these days had their own devices to get on the net and didn’t need the school computers to do so like I did. I took this as good fortune and in case someone did come in, quickly took the note and scanned it. I then saved the scanned document to my brand new thumb drive and then deleted any evidence of what I had been doing.


Since Tyler was in so much pain, he really wasn’t paying any attention to what I was doing and to my relief, didn’t ask any questions either. My guess was that he was more interested in getting to the office, so that he could get released from school and possibly head back to the Boys Home. As we walked into the office, I looked at the time and saw that I had about 15 minutes before class started and hoped that whatever I had to do here didn’t eat up all that time as I wanted to go back to the computer and finish what I started as I had no idea when I would be picked up for the day for my doctor’s appointment. I knew what time the Elementary school day started and ended because Tyler had let me know the night before. I did like the fact that I would get out a half hour earlier than the Jr. High and the High school kids.


“Boy’s, please take a seat and we will get to you in a minute.” Of course the lady behind the counter looked busy when we arrived and was already helping another student, which is why we got this response before we could even tell her why we were there.


As the minutes slowly ticked by, another lady came out of a nearby doorway and noticed Tyler right away.


“Tyler, what happened to you?” The woman asked and Tyler proceeded to tell her what had happened at the bus stop.


“Oh… That is just awful.” The woman replied and scooped him up and carried him away through the door she had just come through. The last thing I heard her say as she walked away was, “Oh boy, it smells like you made a stinky for me too.” As she said this, he giggled lightly.


I didn’t have much time to wonder who the woman was as I was called up to the counter a few minutes later, of course not by name as I had not the chance to give it yet to the lady. As I got to the counter, I noticed some steps for smaller kids like myself to climb up so that we could be tall enough to see over the counter. I then found the two notes, and handed them to the lady.


“Oh, you are Benji, the new boy.” She said as she looked at the note that Kelly had given me that was meant for the School Nurse.


I tried my best to tell this woman that I didn’t like to be called Benji, but she wouldn’t hear it, or just chose to ignore it. No matter how much I protested that I wanted to be called Ben, she continued to call me Benji. When she read the other note, she thanked me for bringing it then got on her computer to, I guess, mark Alastair absent with excuse for the day. She never once made any attempt to call the Home to verify the information in the excuse and she never questioned me about it. I also noticed that she didn’t even really look all that closely at it either. This was good news as it would make it easy for me to get my forgery passed them.


“Okay Benji, the nice lady who was just here a minute ago, the one who just carried Tyler back to her office, her names is Nurse Alyssa and she is of course the school nurse.” As she told me this, she handed me back the note that Kelly had given me. “You can go through that door over there…” She pointed towards the door that I saw the Nurse take Tyler through. “Her office will be the 2nd door on the left. You can go in there and give her the note and once you are done, come back out here and I will find someone to show you where your locker and classroom will be at.” She informed me and with that, I wasted no more time and headed directly to where she told me to go.




By the time I had been shown where my locker and classroom was, the idea of being able to go back and work on my little project was no longer a possibility. First of all, it took forever to get out of the Nurse’s office as I had to first wait on her to finish cleaning up Tyler’s poopy bottom and for the nurse to help him into a clean GoodNite. She even cleaned up all his scrapes and cuts he had gotten because of the fight before she would take my note. I even had to listen to her berate him for fighting, even though she had no idea the whole story of the fight. Only that He had jumped a kid this morning that was bullying another boy. She didn’t know that the other boy was me and that I was being hurt by some of the words she was using towards Tyler for fighting.


When she finally had him cleaned up, she found him a clean pair of pants that I guess he had there as a spare in case he needed them, and helped him into them. She then told him to go and lie down on the cot until someone from the Home could come and get him. Finally done with my friend she turned her attention towards me and smiled.


“You were the other boy out sitting next to Tyler.” She stated the obvious. “What can I help you with?” She asked with that continued pleasant smile.


I didn’t know what to say as it was kinda embarrassing, even after watching her change Tyler, so I just handed her the note and watched as she read it.


“Oh, I see. You are from the Boys Home like Tyler.” She hummed sorta to herself as she continued to read the note. “So Benji…” I groaned as I heard her use that childish name, but time was short and I wanted to get back to the computer room ASAP!


I decided instead of trying to argue with her about it, I would just let it go for now; besides, it was starting to look like that no one would listen to me and the fact that I wanted to be called Ben and truly it wasn’t worth arguing about just now!


“Do you need to be changed now?” She asked and before I could even answer her, she stuck a finger into my diaper to check its wetness. “Your wet, but the diaper could hold more.” Still she didn’t seem to be satisfied with that and before I realized what was happening, due to the shock of what just had happened, she spun me around and with two fingers, pulled back slightly on the back of my pants and diaper and peered inside. “Oh no, you definitely need to be changed!” She stated and I knew then, that I must have soiled myself at some point this morning and wondered if it had happened during my embarrassing moment this morning.


So, just like Tyler, I too had to have my butt cleaned off and I found that Nurse Alyssa did a thorough job of cleaning me before applying the diaper rash cream that Kelly wanted them to remember and baby powder, before finally taping me into one of Alastair’s diapers. Of course the whole cleaning procedure, just like this morning, hurt like hell every time my diaper rash was rubbed over, I found myself hoping for a quick healing time and never ever getting diaper rash again! She then helped me pull my pants back up and snap them in place. I do have to say that she was at least nice and never made me feel uncomfortable other than the normal embarrassment that I felt about the whole situation! When I was finally released to go back to the main office, I had groaned when I saw the time and knew I wouldn’t be able to go to the Computer Lab. Alas, there was more of my wasted few minutes I had that morning. If only I hadn’t messed my diaper, I would have been sent on without having to worry about needing a change!


Fortune was kind to me though, as there was some good news. As I walked into my classroom, I was happy to discover it had computers for the kids to do a majority of their schoolwork on. While I didn’t have time to get back to the computer room, Class still had a few minutes before it began when I walked in so there were only a few kids in there. With several open seats at computers still available, I was able to get a seat at one and managed to find out exactly what all the programs I had access to. I was happy to learn that I did have access to Adobe Photoshop and after sticking my flash drive into the USB port, opened my new file into the Photoshop program. Throughout that first hour of class, when the teacher and other classmates were not paying attention, I worked on my forgery of the note, until it was a perfect copy with my name as the one sick. I then saved the note on my thumb drive, as I couldn’t print it now and would have to wait at least until recess. I then went to work trying to figure out where I was in relation to where my house was. What I found surprised me! I would have never guessed it, but my home and this school were only 8 miles apart from each other. I wasn’t really sure but after doing some searching online, it said that that an average 9 year old kid could walk about 2 to 3 miles an hour. The only problem is that most kids also tire out real easy and can’t keep up the pace for long periods of time without training themselves. All I could do was hope that if I tried to do an average of 2 miles an hour and pushed myself through pure need to do so, that I would make it to my house in about 4 hours. This would be in plenty of time to do what I need and I could use some of the cash I get from the house to grab a cab for on the way back. This made me feel a hell of a lot better as I no longer had to steal from a friend. Of course, I would have to lie to them, which I didn’t like either!


Like I did with the forged document, I also saved the map to my house from the school to my thumb drive and for the rest of that morning, at least until first recess; I did my best to pay attention to what was being said in class.




Morning recess was only 15 minutes long but it did give me enough time to sneak back inside under the pretense that I needed to use the bathroom, luckily the adult on duty, that I told this to, as recess monitor, didn’t know about my diapers, otherwise she might have been suspicious about my excuse for my need to go back inside the school. Once again I made my way to the School Computer lab but this time I wasn’t so lucky, the teacher was still in the room. I wasn’t sure what to do as I didn’t know if my teacher was still in her room or not. I was about to leave and go and check my room when the teacher got up from his desk and started to walk towards the door. Knowing that I would be caught if I continued to stand where I was, I made a quick decision based on theory and ran towards the nearest room entrance. Each doorway had a built in door-well so that someone like me could hide in it and be out of site of the hallway as long as the person they are hiding from doesn’t walk past them. I of course predicted that the teacher would head towards the office area where the most likely chance the ‘Teachers’ Lounge’ was, and therefore went to hide in the opposite direction. Luckily, I had been correct on my assumption on which direction he would go and therefore he did not see, or pass me by. When he was no longer in site, I slipped into the now empty computer lab and quickly printed out my fabricated note, one with a copy of the signature and one without the signature. I also printed out the map and directions I needed to get to my home.


Not knowing for sure if the teacher may show back up or not, I decided to do the next thing in the library, which, according to a note on the door, is an area allowed during recess.


“I wish I had known that earlier!” I quietly grumbled to myself.


I silently found a table in the corner away from anyone else and took the 2 fabricated notes and put the one with the copy of the signature on the bottom and the one without a signature on the top. I then proceeded to very carefully copy the signature with a pen. Making sure it looked legit and not faked. I knew that if I fucked this up, I would have to somehow make another copy of the note and may not have another chance to do so. This meant that I had to be very careful and of course not fuck it up! When I was done, I compared my work to the copy of the original and I was pretty proud of myself and felt that with the amount of, or lack of, scrutiny that the school put in checking the notes, that it would pass with flying colors!


With 5 minutes left of recess, I started to get of my seat to join the rest of the kids outside, in the act of getting up, I couldn’t help noticing how heavy my diaper felt around my waist. I must have soaked it while doing the tracing and been so involved that I hadn’t even noticed that I had to go let alone went! Realizing that it couldn’t have been my first wetting based on how wet and heavy the diaper was, I knew that I better get it taken care of before class started up again. The last thing I really wanted was to have to ask to be excused from class to take care of my soggy diaper, or even worse, take the chance of it leaking by not taking care of it now! With an embarrassing expression on my face, I made my way to the Nurse’s office.


Scared that the overly thick, bulky, and well used diaper, was going to burst any moment, I waddled as fast as I could to the office. Why waddle you ask, the answer to that was simple, I found it hard to walk with the diaper so bulging between my legs and at the same time I didn’t want the diaper to leak or explode or anything, so I allowed myself to waddle to put less stress on the diaper. My hope was that when I got to the office, the lady behind the desk wouldn’t make me wait too long or ask too many questions before letting me see the nurse. I don’t know if I was more relieved or disappointed that the lady wasn’t there behind the counter, or anywhere in the main office that I could see. I really wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do at this point, without there being anyone in the main office to tell me that I can go back to the Nurses office, would I be allowed to go anyway? Then the question would have to be, if I go back there, what was the chance that the Nurse would even be back there? I didn’t think about it for long as I felt a small need to pee and knew that if I ended up peeing in that diaper again, there would be a very good chance it would end up leaking. I decided to risk it and made my way back towards the Nurse’s office and hoped that she would be in.


As I pushed open the door to the Nurse’s outer office, I could hear voices and felt a little relieved in knowing that at least someone was here. As I came inside the outer office and got closer to the inner office door, the examining room. As for the voices, they were coming from inside the other room and I could tell that one of them sounded like an adult woman and even though I only heard her voice for a short period of time this morning, I was sure it was Nurse Alyssa. As for the other voice, I knew it instantly as soon as I got close enough to recognize it, it was definitely Tyler’s voice. I guess he hadn’t yet been picked up by the Home.


Not wanting to interrupt whatever conversation they were in, but at the same time not wanting to take the chance of leaking, I lifted my hand and knocked on the inner door.


“Well hello there Benji!” Nurse Alyssa said with at first a bewildered look but quickly covered it with a smile. “What brings you here child, don’t tell me you need changed already?” She asked but one look at me told her everything she needed to know. “Come on in little one and we will take care of that diaper of yours” She instructed as she reached down and took my hand in hers and led me to one of the beds in the room.


“Sorry for just coming into your office like this Nurse Alyssa, I didn’t know what to do since there was no one in the main office.” I explained to her.


“That is okay Benji, you did the right thing. I wouldn’t expect you to wait for someone to come back to the office when you are in this condition.” She responded to me as she helped me on the bed and undid my pants and pulled them down, exposing the very used and bloated diaper. “It looks like you really did a number on this one!” She exclaimed.


Tyler, propping himself up and looking over at me, suddenly burst out laughing.


“He sure did! He did number 1, and from the looks of it, an ocean’s worth of it!” Tyler giggled.


I threw Tyler a dirty look at his dumb joke but Nurse Alyssa seemed to find his wit funny as she joined him in his giggles. I decided that right now it wasn’t as important as getting off that diaper was as I could feel the need to pee even more. I found this quite perplexing as I had sat there all morning and peed into that diaper without realizing it one bit. Now here I was actually feeling myself not only needing to pee, but feeling my bladder as it fills up even more, making the feeling more intense. This of course had Mike written all over it, I knew he was punishing me for some reason right now and I hated it! If this was his way of telling me that what I was doing to get even against Peter was wrong, then screw him! Peter deserved everything that was going to happen to him and probably much worse! In no way did I feel bad about my plan in what I was setting up against Peter and Mike couldn’t make me feel bad!


Now as I said, I had really flooded that diaper but at least I managed not to soil it so as soon as the nurse had the diaper off of me I gave her a look of an emergency need.


“Ma’am, I really need to pee desperately and really would like to do it in the toilet if at all possible.” I pleaded and she smiled as she lifted me off the table and onto my feet, making sure to hold my pants in place at my ankles to keep them from falling off of me completely.


Nurse Alyssa pointed to one corner of the room and as I looked over there, I quickly saw an open door and inside a dark room that as I got closer, was obviously a bathroom.  In order to walk over there, I had pulled up my pants and instead of snapping them in place; I just held them up with my hands as I walked across the floor. Once in the bathroom, I used one of my hands to turn on the light and shut the bathroom door before heading to the toilet and plopping myself down on it, of course letting my pants drop around my ankles first. I wasn’t sure how long I was in there, but I not only managed to pee on the toilet but also poop. This was good news for me, because it meant a less likely chance of pooping while at school today. Again, I wasn’t sure how long I was in there, but it must have been a lot longer than I had originally thought. When I did come back out of the bathroom, there was someone else in the examining room.


I grasped my pants tightly around my waist as I looked over at the man that was now in the room with us. He looked vaguely familiar but I couldn’t quite place him and didn’t know if it was due to what was happening to me with this de-aging thing, or if I was getting this life as a child confused with my life as an adult. It wasn’t until Nurse Alyssa spoke that things were cleared up.


“Oh Benji, we were starting to get worried about you in there. I was about to come in and check on you.” Nurse Alyssa stated worriedly but after realizing I was okay, beckoned me to her before telling me who the visitor was. “I suppose you already met your caseworker Mr. Jessup?” She asked, and suddenly the name of the man I saw briefly a few days ago clicked in my head and I was able to fully recognize the man in the room.


Even though I recognized him, it didn’t mean I wanted the man there while I was about to be displayed to the world in the most humiliating way possible, cleaned then re-diapered. As the nurse tried to get me to lie back down on the bed, I decided I wasn’t going to lie down and clung to my pants as well. Yes I knew if the nurse wanted to, she could over power me and I would have no choice but to be exposed to this guy, but it didn’t mean I had to make it easier for her.


“Please Ma’am, I don’t want to sound rude or anything, but I would feel a lot better if Mr. Jessup could wait outside until we are done.” I tried to say as politely as I could but probably came out sounding more defiant than anything else.


She gave me a look of understanding and grasped my knee as she turned and looked at my caseworker. “I am sorry Mr. Jessup, but I should have realized that your presence in the room may have unnerved Benji. I could tell from his earlier change this morning that he is not real comfortable about being changed by strangers or around people he doesn’t know.” She explained to him and again I cringed at her use of my kiddy name.


If she could so easily see and understand my feelings with being changed around strangers, why couldn’t she also see how calling me Benji affects me? I guess when it comes right down to it; people only want to see what they want to see! I was happy though when Mr. Jessup nodded and left the room without any argument. There was something I noticed just briefly before he left though. I am not sure, but it almost seemed like there was a hint in his facial expression when he saw me looking at the nurse after her calling me Benji.


As soon as the door closed and it was just me, Tyler, and Nurse Alyssa in the room, she began right away putting my new diaper on. She seemed to be in hurry as she did this because she didn’t put powder or cream on me except for a small bit of that special cream on my diaper rash. I guess I didn’t wipe as good as I thought because she did clean my butt up better with a wipe before applying the cream. This of course made it hurt again, amazingly, it hadn’t hurt as bad when I wiped it, don’t get me wrong, it was damn sore and I felt the pain get worse when I swiped my butt with the toilet paper, but it didn’t hurt nowhere near as bad as it did when something wet touched it!


As soon as my pants were back up and snapped in place, the nurse called Mr. Jessup back into the room. As he came in, she helped Tyler up from his bed even though I don’t really think he needed it. I wasn’t sure at first why she was helping him up and helping him back into his coat, but I soon realized that Mr. Jessup must be here to pick him, or better yet hopefully us, up to see the doctor.


Sure enough, I was asked to go get my stuff since I wouldn’t likely be back to school today. I already had my coat with me since I had it for being outside. But I needed to grab my backpack from my locker and other school stuff from my desk. I quickly gathered my things and by the time I had done this and gotten back to the office, happy that I was going to be out of this mess for the rest of the day, it was buzzing with people again and my caseworker was speaking with the office lady. I wasn’t sure what they were discussing but I guessed it had something to do with the fact that he was taking both Tyler and me out of school.


“Alright boys, let’s go.” He said as he finished speaking to the lady and turned towards us and noticing I was back. He then held out his hands to us for us to hold them as if we were small children, which I guess you could say we were. “Take my hands boys.”


Just like the little boys we were, we did as we were told and each took one of his hands. He then quickly led us out of the school and into the parking lot to a blue mini-van with a Government emblem on it. He let go of our hands and using a key fob, unlocked the vehicle. The Minivan was set up to seat as many as 7 people. It had a bench seat in back that sat 3 and 4 captain chairs that included the driver and front passenger seat.


“Boys, please sit on the backseat and put on the seatbelt. Ben, I need you to sit in the middle as I will be stopping by the Boys Home and picking up your friend Steven and another boy named Alastair as well. Then we will be going to see the Doctor today.” Mr. Jessup informed us.


“Mr. Jessup, what are you going to do with me?” Tyler asked and broke his silence, as he hadn’t spoken since Mr. Jessup showed up, at least not that I know of.


“Tyler, I really think you are okay other than some obvious bruises and scratches. Personally I think you should be in class, but the school would like you to see a doctor just in case. So, I managed to squeeze you in along with Alastair, after he sees Ben and Steven.”


“Okay sir, I understand.” Tyler stated and leaned back in his seat as I tried to keep myself entertained by looking out the window and getting a good visual idea of the area.


It didn’t take only a few minutes of driving time before we made it back to the Boys Home. We pulled up at the front entrance and a few moments later Mrs. Betty appeared with both Alastair and Steven behind her. I guess our caseworker had called ahead at some point, most likely while I was getting my stuff, and asked Mrs. Betty if she could bring Steven and Tyler out as soon as we got there. Mr. Jessup pushed a button and the sliding door opened up on the van and motioned my friends to get in as Mrs. Betty came around to his window and handed him a clipboard to sign something.


“Thank you for getting them ready Mrs. Betty; you have helped me and saved me a lot of time.” Mr. Jessup thanked her. He then looked over his shoulder at my friends and smiled, “Steven, please sit in back with your friends, at least I hope all you boys are friends? Alastair, please sit in one of the back captain chairs and both of you, please buckle your seat belts.”


As my friends took their seats, Steven smiled back at our caseworker. “Yes sir and we are all friends, including Alastair.” Steven said while at the same time all of us echoed Steven’s sentiment about being friends.


As soon as my friends were seated and had their seatbelts on, we were on our way to the doctor’s office. Because of Chicago traffic, a drive that should only take about 15 to 20 minutes at the most, ended up taking almost 2 hours instead. It wasn’t long before a strong odor filled the car and it was obvious that one or more of us boys had just filled the backside of their diaper. I knew it wasn’t me as I had emptied myself before getting re-diapered, at least I was pretty sure I was empty and I didn’t feel any sensation or need of having to go, nor did I feel anything that would be a possible poop mess in my diaper. I tried to smell the air on each side of me and I couldn’t tell for sure as the smell seemed just as strong as it had filled my nostrils and the car. All 3 of my friends were completely quiet and didn’t say a word, of course this didn’t mean anything; it was very possible that the offender didn’t know they even pooped themselves. For one thing, Alastair was sick and even though I couldn’t see his face, I had a good feeling he was fast asleep. As I sat there in the strong odor, I found myself wondering what Mr. Jessup was thinking at that moment as there was no way he wasn’t smelling this too. The other 3 boys may be real used to the smell of a poopy diaper and I was starting to get used to it, but I still was able to smell it in a closed small space like a car. This meant that Alastair, Steven, and Tyler might not have noticed the smell at all, while Mr. Jessup and I were both dying. A few minutes later, I got my answer to my question when Mr. Jessup rolled the windows down a little to bring in fresh air. He also cranked up the heat to make up for the cold air coming in the windows. Even with rolling the windows down, Mr. Jessup never once said a word about the smell or even said why he rolled the windows down. Of course I, and amazingly my friends, never asked why he rolled them down.


For the most part, we didn’t talk much as I sat back and tried to go over details of my plan and thought of how much I hated Peter. Tyler, still not feeling that great, fell asleep at one point and Steven had opened a book and started to read. I looked at the cover of the paperback briefly and it looked like a fantasy novel of some sort. Every once in a while, Mr. Jessup would say something to us, but his attention was mainly on the road. So, for the most part, other than the wind rushing into the windows, the busy road conditions, and the noises that came from it, it was pretty quiet in the car.


When we finally pulled into the parking garage, I knew that I had wet my diaper at least once as soon as I got out of the car, by the wet feeling of it as it moved slightly between my legs. I soon found out I wasn’t the only one when Tyler woke up from his nap and got out from his side of the car.


“Mr. Jessup, I… a… kinda had an accident.” Tyler said as he came around the car while looking down at his pants.


It was very obvious that Tyler had a problem as his GoodNite had leaked while he slept and peed in it uncontrollably. He now had a very obvious wet spot on his pants, with most of it between his legs. There was no doubt that he had also left a wet spot on the seat considering the condition his pants were in. If Mr. Jessup was upset at all about this though, he managed to hide it completely from me.


“Don’t worry Tyler, it is okay. We will stop and get you a new pair of pants.” He comforted him.


Now this really perplexed me as I didn’t know where we could possibly stop and get Tyler pants, at least while here at the doctor’s office. Well, I knew that the office was probably just one in the building but I didn’t think there were any shopping centers in the area. It just didn’t look like a shopping area. What I didn’t know was that there was a donation center in the building on the first floor. I found it a surprising place for a donation center to be, but from what our caseworker told us, it gets a lot of foot traffic there. Since we were in a hurry, Tyler quickly picked out a pair of pants that were his size and we left. Since there was no place there to change his GoodNite, he had messed it too, he wasn’t able to actually check the fit but it was a good chance they would fit anyway and the place said if they didn’t he could bring them back down after we were done with our appointment and they would exchange them. With that out of the way, we piled into the elevator and headed up to the 16th floor to where the doctor’s office was located.


Now, as we entered the Pediatricians office, I barely recall my own visits to my doctor as a child and I always found that the office was well organized and the appointments seemed to run on time; this office was nothing of the office in my memory! It was utter chaos and packed with screaming and crying kids and angry and flustered parents! We were also informed right away that the doctor was running behind about forty five minutes to an hour and a half. The last thing I wanted to do, was spend the next hour or so, in that overcrowded waiting room. I hoped my diaper would hold out for the time I would have to wait and I wondered if the same thought had gone across Alastair and Steven’s minds as we found a seat. As for Tyler, Mr. Jessup arranged to have a nurse come and help him take care of his dirty GoodNite and before he left he grabbed a clean one from his bag along with his new pants.


As we waited in that waiting room, I felt my life slowing down even more, if that was possible. Tyler did return with a smile and dry pants on and wet ones in a bag. He sat back down with us and once again we played the waiting game. Kids, one at a time, were called back into the inner office and others left. As soon as you felt like there was some breathing room in the waiting room, it would fill back up with more patients.


Tyler and I talked, trying to keep each other entertained. Steven went back to reading his book and Alastair who still wasn’t feeling all too well; fell asleep. As for Mr. Jessup, he kept busy during this time making phone calls. We didn’t talk about anything important or that I really remember the specifics about. I guess you would say we were just shooting the breeze, to pass time. I couldn’t help myself as I looked up at the clock every so often on the waiting room wall and found that only a few minutes passed since the last time I looked. Time did pass though and soon I found that a half hour passed, then an hour, and then, as it was quickly approaching the second hour, I started to grow impatient! I knew from experience that it could take some time to see a doctor at times, but 2 hours was outrageous to make parents with children wait! I am not sure if Mr. Jessup, who had ended his latest phone call, could tell I was frustrated or not, or if he was just making a general statement to us all, but it seemed to me it was more the first then the latter. It was also about this time that Alastair awoke from his nap.


“Don’t worry boys; the doctor should be with us any moment now. It is normal for him to run behind like this. He is a very busy man with many patients to see, and can’t always guarantee when each of his appointments will be done. While I have your attention and while on this subject, the appointment that was made today was for Steven and Ben and because of unforeseen circumstances, we had to add Alastair and now Tyler. I was hoping that the four of you would help me and the doctor save some time. It is normal that we would split you up into individual examining rooms and the doctor would see each of you separately. We can do this if you wish, but it would mean taking much longer and most likely not getting out of here anytime soon, and to be honest, the doctor many more patients yet to see today and it would not be fair to make him work any later than he has too. So it would be very helpful if we can bring all 4 of you in the same room at once and let him see all of you at the same time. This way I don’t have to worry about you boys being separated and we can save not only us but the doctor some time as well.” Our caseworker explained to us.


I wasn’t sure about the others, but I had no problem with doing the appointment in the same room. Now if you had asked me this a few days ago, I would not have been so open to this idea. Things have changed over the last few days though, I was now a little kid again, I had not only been seen by these same boys naked already, but also by many other strangers. I was now about to be seen by some new stranger, a doctor who I never met before and I wasn’t really looking forward to that but it was something I needed to get through in order to appease the Boys Home. I also felt better doing it with my friends there along with me. The other big thing, and I think all of us were in agreement on this one, we were tired and wanted out of this building. It was now well past lunch time and I was probably not the only one starting to get hungry.


“I don’t have a problem with that.” I stated and my other 3 friends echoed my sentiment, meaning that they also had no problem with doing the appointment in the same room. “Sir, can you ask them how much longer we have to wait as I think my diaper may not hold out much longer.” I whispered just loud enough for Mr. Jessup and my friends to hear.


I guess that made Steven think because he suddenly stuck his hand down to his diaper area and checked out the bulge and made sure it wasn’t leaking anywhere. Anyone who didn’t know better might have thought he was doing something else as he was quite obvious about what it appeared like he was doing in the crowded waiting room. Then again, maybe nobody was really paying attention as most of the people there seemed to be overly concerned with their own problems, like their own children.


Before Mr. Jessup could do anything, that is if he had planned on doing anything, a nurse popped out a door near the front desk and called out my name. “Can Ben…” at this she hesitated as she looked at the chart, I took a good guess that she was trying to locate a last name and of course failed to do so as no one believed I was Benjamin Fuller, so I had to tell them I couldn’t remember my last name. “…is there a Ben here with a Mr. Jessup?” The Nurse asked as she finished flipping through the papers.


Both Mr. Jessup and I got up and started to walk towards the Nurse, but when he noticed the other 3 had stayed behind, he motioned them to get up and follow us. My friends scrambled to their feet and got behind us as we approached the door and the nurse.


“Thank you Stacy.” I wasn’t sure if Mr. Jessup was reading her tag on her uniform or if he knew her from being here before. “To make things easier on everyone, I will be having all 4 boys see the doctor in the same examining room at the same time today.” He informed the nurse.


“Thank you Mr. Jessup, please take the boys to examining room 7 and the doctor should be with you shortly.” She instructed Mr. Jessup and he lead us to the room the nurse told him to take us.


We waited several minutes until the doctor finally did show up. I figured he was going to be one of those India doctors, you know, the ones that seemed to be proliferating the US medical field lately. When he turned out to be not only American, but a Texan, you could tell by his accent, I was taken back. He looked to be in his 60’s and was extremely friendly. He spent several minutes with us, talking with each of us. He wanted to know how we were doing and what our concerns were. He even understood how I felt about being naked and even in a dirty diaper in front of him or other people like Mr. Jessup. After talking with him though, I felt much better. He assured us that we didn’t need to feel ashamed or afraid here and that no one was going to belittle us for it. I am not sure if it was his Texan accent that he managed to keep after having a medical practice here in Chicago for the last 20 years, or what it was. Whatever it was, he managed to put my mind at ease for that time while we were in his office. Later after talking it over with my friends we came up with a theory but of course we couldn’t prove it, but we think he hypnotized us while we were there.


The next 3 hours began the most extensive physical that I think I have ever had in one visit before. It was explained that the reason why they did all they did at this one visit was to eliminate other future visits to other doctors like specialist, unless needed. They began with the normal typical exam to make sure we didn’t have anything physically wrong that we didn’t know about. After that, they started the much more thorough exam. They took a full range of blood test. They got urine samples and to make it easier for them to get these, they had inserted us with catheters. Boy did that hurt when they stuck that tube up me, at least I didn’t have to worry about wearing a diaper while there, but it also meant that I was wearing this flimsy paper garment that was open in the back. They did want another thing from us as well that I found a little disgusting. They wanted a stool sample. They were able to get one from Steven from his dirty diaper but since mine was just wet, they were not so lucky with me. I was asked to poop if I could when they found out that my diaper was just wet, but I couldn’t no matter how hard I pushed. They told not to worry, that hopefully before we were done, I would have to go and they would get a sample, if not, they would get one sent to them from the Boys Home the next time I had a bowel movement. Steven and I also had cat scans, MRI’s, X-rays, and some other scans. Some of these scans were in certain specific areas, and others seemed to be the whole body. But before all that had started, when the Doctor had found out that none of us boys yet had lunch, he grabbed us each a couple donuts from his staffs break room and some water to wash them down with to hold us over.


They had given Tyler a quick scan to make sure nothing was broken or damaged before declaring he was okay to return to school tomorrow and he was now waiting for us. It was decided that other than some bruises and scrapes, he was in perfect health.


With Alastair, they diagnosed him with the flu bug and wrote a prescription for him. They also gave him a shot which he cried a lot about when he saw the needle but was too sick to fight it off. With the help of Mr. Jessup holding him down, a nurse was easily able to give him the shot and once it was over, he was given a sucker to suck on. He was the only one of us boys who didn’t eat the donuts and we ended up splitting his among the 3 of us. He did suck the sucker which stopped him from crying. Even though both Steven and I got stuck with needles, neither one of us threw the fit that Alastair threw, though I do think I saw a bit of fear in Steven’s eyes before he closed them, which he kept closed until the needle had been removed. As for Alastair’s sickness, they said it was possible that it was a 24 hr. thing and by morning he could be feeling better, if not, to keep him home and hydrated and continue to give him the medicine. The Doctor was sure that the worst case scenario was that he be in bed for a couple days.


As they were finishing up with Steven, the last of us, the nurse was getting our new diapers ready for us. I decided one last time before they pulled out my catheter to try and poop as it had been a few hours since I last tried and I thought I might be able to do something now. So, with a push and a low grunt, I felt my bowels move a little and after a harder push on my bowels, I smiled a little as I felt them begin to move beneath me and suddenly the air filled with the stench of what I created.


“Congratulations Ben, you did it!” The nurse who had been getting our diapers ready for Steven and me exclaimed.


At that moment I had mixed feelings. I for one was feeling proud that I accomplished my objective before we had to leave. On the other hand, I was very embarrassed that I just messed myself on purpose in front of some stranger. It is one thing to poop yourself by accident, but to do it on purpose, is a whole different story! I felt my face blush and even though I had that earlier ‘hypnosis’, it didn’t seem to cover this situation, or the situation was extreme enough to overcome it.


“Don’t worry there Ben, we told you to do that so there is nothing to be ashamed about.” She quickly explained as she came over as she pulled her rubber gloves on with a snap.


I had been lying on a gurney in my paper gown on top of a blue pad. There was a metal tray on a stand with wheels next to the gurney. The tray held a few items, including the container for my stool specimen and something I guess to be used to scoop the specimen into the container. I closed my eyes as she got her sample as it just was gross to me. I didn’t open them again until I felt my legs lifted and the mess cleaned away from my butt. When I was clean, she placed me back on another clean blue pad and then went to work removing my catheter.


By the time Steven returned to the room with Mr. Jessup, Steven had asked our caseworker if he could go with him while he had his test, I was already re-diapered and dressed again. I was sitting in a chair next to Tyler and Alastair in the room and had only been waiting for a minute or two when Steven had appeared on his gurney. The doctor had followed him and Mr. Jessup into the room and while the nurse got Steven’s catheter removed and re-diapered. Steven then got up and dressed himself as the doctor gave us a preliminary report.


“Okay, I first want to stress that this is just a preliminary report and we won’t know anything for sure until all the test come in and the specialist have a chance to take a look at everything. I can tell you a few things though from what I see so far though. Both Steven and Ben show signs of having small weak bladders.” Now as the doctor mentioned this, I realized he wasn’t actually speaking to us but to our caseworker, almost as if he thought we wouldn’t understand him since he was saying this in our presence. “I can’t really tell you anything from the scans about the bowels but I will have a specialist look them over and all the test results once we get them in. We may have our own Radiology and Imaging Department here in office, which does save time, but we don’t have a lab to process the test here. We should get the test results in a few days though and will let you know of any changes if the test results tell us anything, otherwise they will be sent to the specialist as we discussed. I am not a psychiatrist, but I doubt that after seeing these boys that they are doing this on purpose. I do see that there is definitely a medical reason for their wetting problems, as to how serious, I am not sure yet. Now if there are medical issues for their wetting, I would bet my medical license, that there is also a medical reason for their bowel issues as well. If you want my medical advice, I would suggest that for now, to keep the two of them in diapers full time. I will write a prescription to get them set up with disposable diapers; you know where you can get it filled at already.” The doctor ended with and pulled out a prescription pad and scribbled out something on two different papers from that pad. Most likely the two pieces of paper were mine and Steven’s prescription for our own disposable diapers so that we wouldn’t be using Alastair’s anymore.  “As for Alastair,” He then scribbled on another piece of paper and handed that one to Mr. Jessup as well. “this is for his flu bug, an antibiotic.”




It was dinner time by the time we got back to the Home. We were informed right away that the 4 of us were lucky and would not have to do any chores that night if we had been assigned any, not only due to the fact we had been gone all day, but also due to the fact that a group of boys had gotten into trouble and it was decided that they would do all of our chores for us. I had completely forgotten about having to clean the bathrooms and was happy to get out of it, not that I was lazy. Granted I was tired as it had been a very long day, but the biggest reason was my fear of Mike and his bathroom obsession. It also allowed us the time to talk, well, all of us except for Alastair who went back to bed after we got back and a diaper change.


I was surprised to find myself thinking how nice it was to be back at the home, but after being gone all day and all the test and waiting I did, I was! Before we got back to the Home, we made 2 more stops, the 1st one was at a pharmacy drive through to pick up Alastair’s prescription. The 2nd one turned out to be one we all had to get out at. It looked like a specialty drug store or something.


“What kind of place is this?” Steven asked as he looked around the sparsely stocked sales floor.


The place actually looked big, yet it only had a few shelves with only a few products on it, a lot of it looked like stuff for old people. There were several chairs for people to sit in and a large square sales counter in the middle of the room that looked like it could accommodate several sales associates.


“It is a medical supply store.” Mr. Jessup informed us. “This is where we will be getting your diapers.” And my face turned bright red as he said this.


Mr. Jessup had his arms full as he had carried a sleeping Alastair inside the store while the 3 of us walked behind him. We followed him as he walked up to the counter and gave the elderly woman behind it our prescriptions.


“The diapers will be for these 2 boys here.” Mr. Jessup pointed out both me and Steven and prodded us up front to the counter. “I need them fitted into diapers of their size and case for each of them for now. I will expect you to start delivery of the diapers soon at the Boy’s Home.”


The lady never responded other than to nod. She grabbed a cloth measuring tape and came around the counter, and as if I were buying a new pair of suit pants, started to use the tape and on both Steven and I. All the while she was doing this, she mumbled to herself and then when she was done, disappeared in the back room for several minutes before returning with 2 white diapers like Alastair’s in her hand. She handed 1 of the thick white diapers to me and I noticed that it was slightly smaller than the one she handed to Steven. I wasn’t for sure, but I was guessing the diaper I held in my hand was probably the same size as Alastair’s diaper as it looked about the same. Steven’s was definitely larger but not by much.


“These diapers here should be the appropriate size for the boys.” She announced to Mr. Jessup. “If you want, we can try the boys in them to make certain but I never been wrong about the size before.” Her voice quavered a little showing the signs of her age.


Mr. Jessup looked at his watch and then back down to us. He was also still holding a sleeping Alastair and I could see on his face he was trying to decide if it was worth taking even more time to do this now. He then reached down and took the diapers that the lady gave us and looked them over before making his decision.


“I trust you and it is getting late; also the boys were just changed recently and I see it a waste to change them before needed. Just set them up with a case each in their size.” He responded to the lady who just smiled in return for trusting her judgment.


Soon we had left the store and there was now a case of diapers for both Steven and I with our names on them. The experience had been just as embarrassing as everything else had been that day and like I said, it was nice to finally get back to what I was getting to know as home.


After dinner and homework time that evening; Steven, AJ, Tyler, Cody, and I met in our room, well, it wasn’t Tyler and Cody’s room but I hope you get what I mean. The only one missing from our little soggy bottom group was Alastair. He was still in bed but the last report we got was that he seemed a little better and maybe by tomorrow morning he would lick the bug he had. Steven, Tyler, and I filled both Cody and AJ on everything that happened while we were at the doctor’s office and after. We also discussed the incident that happened that morning at the bus stop which just brought the memory of the anger and humiliation back to me. This of course led to more questions, like why did it happen in the first place. At first I hadn’t planned on telling the guys about how Peter had attacked me, but then I realized I needed their help in order to make my plan succeed. I didn’t have to go in full detail of my plan, just give them enough of it where they would be in the place to help me. So, I told them how Peter had come into the room and attacked me while everyone was asleep and his threat.


“You guys know just as much as I do that Peter isn’t done with his threat and while he is playing this game with his rules, we will never be rid of him! He will always have someone else protecting him or doing his dirty work for him! I want to change that and by doing so, not only protect myself but you guys as well!” I explained to them.


“But how do you plan on doing that?” AJ asked. “You are just a little kid.”


“I may be small, but I am not dumb, and Peter wants me more than any of you. I am positive that he would rather pound on me himself rather than have someone else do it. I think he will get more satisfaction out of it. My plan is to give him what he wants, an opportunity to do just that.” I explained.


“Are you crazy?!” Both AJ and Steven said at the same time. “He will kill you.” Steven continued.


“Trust me he won’t.” I stated. “Tomorrow, Steven, Cody, and AJ, I would like you to hand Peter a note before he gets on the bus. Because of what happened this morning, I will not be getting on the bus with you guys but for the next couple days driven to school by Kelly.”


“Wow! How did you manage that?” Asked Cody.


“Well, when we got back to the Home, the other guys went to get ready for Dinner but I stayed back to talk to Mr. Jessup. I went over everything that happened this morning and told him that I was afraid of another encounter. He told me he was of course aware of what happened and that not to worry, he had already spoken with Mrs. Betty and Kelly about it and it had been decided that for the rest of the week, Kelly would take me to school herself.” I told them.


“What happens next week though?” Tyler asked. “I can’t always be saving your diapered butt!”


“I asked that same question. Mr. Jessup said that he feels by then that enough cooling down time would have gone by and that this will all die down by then. To be honest, I don’t think that will be the case, but at that moment I didn’t argue. I will worry about next week at a later time as I am more worried about tomorrow. This is why I need the 3 of you…” I pointed then at AJ, Steven, and Tyler. “…to hand this note I will be writing to Peter. In it, I will be challenging him a one on one fight between just me and him at a place that I have set up for him to be caught hurting me. I have it planned so that as he pounds on me, he will be caught red handed. Don’t worry about how; just know that he will no longer be a threat.” I then looked over at Tyler. “I need you to take a note to the office for me, because I have to set up the plan where Peter will be caught red handed, I need you to give them this note.” At this time, I handed the sick note I forged for myself, to Tyler. “This will allow me to leave school grounds without even entering the school. As soon as Kelly drops me off, I will leave and set my trap for Peter. As far as the school and the kids there will know, I will not be there because I am sick.”


“But Ben, what happens if Kelly insists on walking you to class?” Tyler asked.


“If she does, then I guess my plan is screwed. I would rather not think negative about this. This plan has to go off without a hitch and that means that Peter must be angered enough to go after me himself. This means if needed, he must be goaded into leaving the school grounds. The note will explain that if he does not come alone, that it means he is too chicken to fight a little kid on his own. I believe it will want him to prove to me that he can take care of me himself!” I explained with a sneer. “What Peter won’t realize is that it will be his downfall!”


We ended up going back and forth over these plans, mostly with my friends trying to talk me out of putting myself into harm’s way. In the end they did agree with me that it was better to take some pain once rather than over and over again! I wrote the note for the guys to give to Peter and the plan was finalized. What the guys didn’t know was that I had no intention of meeting Peter or trying to set him up during some fight that he would probably talk his way out of in the first place, if he got caught. I just needed him away from the school for a while to give him no Alibi for the time when I break into my own home. This way when I plant the goods on him, they will think that he broke into the home. I still didn’t have every little thing thought out and planned, like what would I tell the guys when they find out that Peter was still there and that the supposed plan we had made together failed. At the moment I wasn’t too concerned as I figured it will work out somehow in the end like amazingly everything else had so far! As far as Peter seeing me, as we would be going to the same area, He would not be going to the same place and I would have a good lead on him as I would make it to the school long before the busses got there. I would be taken to the school directly while the bus will have to make several stops still on its way, slowing it down some. My plan was to keep well ahead of Peter and I had every intention of doing just that! Yes, there was always a possibility that things could go terribly wrong, for now though, I planned on thinking positively on my plan.


Eventually we talked about other things, only taking breaks for diaper changes when needed. We all felt bad that Alastair was sick and couldn’t be a part of the fun and occasionally we would check on him. Most of the time we found him sleeping but an hour before bedtime, he had woken up and according to him was feeling much better, tired, but better. To include him, Cody and AJ helped him over to AJ, Steven, and my room and laid him down on Steven’s bed. This way he could join in our conversation if he felt like it, though he mostly just listened to us chatter. It wasn’t that long after we brought Alastair into the room when Steven remembered about the conversation AJ and he were having this morning and never got a chance to finish. For those who hadn’t been there, AJ quickly caught them up with the story of how he first came here.


“As I was explaining, when I first got here, they took pity on me after me begging and cleared enough junk in this room to set up a cot. The next morning I had woke up with almost every inch of that cot soaked in my own urine. Because I had gotten in there so late, I had just stripped down to my underwear and that is what I slept in for the night and as I got out of the wet cold bed, I noticed right away that my underwear were extra droopy and heavy. They were old and the elastic had started to stretch out in them, so they didn’t fit me like underwear should. I guess my nose had gotten use to the smell in the crowded room as I didn’t notice the poop smell at all. It was the heaviness in my underwear and the feeling of the mess on my butt as my cheeks started to move slightly as I myself got out of bed and stood up. I knew right then what I had done and was so embarrassed about it, that I refused to leave the room even after I heard the other boys in the hallway. Especially then! I guess it must have been at breakfast when the staff figured out that they had gotten a new arrival during the night and he never showed up downstairs. I figured this much because by the time Kelly had found me and gotten me cleaned up, breakfast was over and most of the boys were lining up at the front door to leave for the school bus stop.” AJ told us as if he were reliving it as he talked.


“Wow, how could they not realize there was someone new staying in this room?” I asked AJ.


“That is simple.” He answered. “When the morning staff came on duty, the evening staff was in such a hurry to leave that day because of plans; that they totally forgot to mention it. Of course it is the duty of the morning staff to go over the notes of the prior shift but that somehow got pushed aside for later and other than a brief notice that they did get a new boy, they read nothing else. It wasn’t until Kelly noticed that her new boy wasn’t at breakfast that she began to wonder and took another look at the notes and found out what they did with me.”


“I am glad she found you and didn’t forget about you all together.” Cody said with a smile and patted his friend on the back.


“I am too!” Tyler echoed.


AJ smiled back at his friends and continued his story.


I was told that first morning that I wouldn’t be going to school so that I could meet with the Boys Home administrator, Mrs. Betty. I am sure you guys know by now what happens at those meetings, mine went pretty much the same way I am sure. She did discuss diapers as an option for me considering my problems in the past and the one I had just the previous night. Of course it was explained that diapers would be decided ultimately by my caseworker and for now I would have to deal with any accidents I have as they happen. Later I found out through my caseworker that diapers would be my decision since I had in the past been so badly treated with them. That is when I made the decision at that time to not ever wear a diaper again… well at least until Steven and Ben convinced me I should.”


Steven and I both smiled at that as we knew that even though AJ had some bad experiences with diapers being forced on him then being humiliated about them; that AJ was at least sleeping better now.


Just like you guys, she took me to the clothing room to get some better fitting clothes, rather than the rags I was wearing then. After that was done, she took me to a large room with several beds and told me I would be sleeping on the bottom bunk of the bed she showed me and that I would use the dresser on the left side of the bed for my stuff. It was here I had my first disagreement with her. Up until this point I had just did as she told me but there was no way I would sleep with all of these boys and go through the humiliation I have had in the past. I put up a good argument that I should be allowed to sleep in the room I slept in the night before, she refused though claiming it was a storage room and not a dorm room. No matter how much she insisted this though, I kept up with my arguing and pleading with her until she finally gave in. The rest of the school day I spent on cleaning out this room with the help of Kelly. It turned out that this bunk bed was already one of the things in here along with a few extra dressers. We found a new place for the junk that was in here and within a couple days, this storage area began to look like a real room. They ended up making it into a 2 person bedroom and put a fresh coat of paint on the wall and a cheap carpet on the floor. They built the 2 desks for us to do our homework at and before I knew it, there was a real room in here. While all this remodeling was being done, I just slept on the bunk bed in here. They even used a quick drying paint that they painted the room with in the morning and by the evening it was completely dry and aired out.”


“Cool that you were able to get what you wanted.” Steven said with an impressive smile.


“Yeah it was.” AJ acknowledge. “But like I told you, I spent a long time when I first got here, pooping in my pants while I slept 2 or 3 times a week. I also wet the bed non-stop and I think it was almost 2 months before I had my first dry night here. I spent almost all of that time with soiling problem as well. I know that the staff had to been going nuts over me during that time as it isn’t easy to clean up poopy underpants. Even though I had a private room, it didn’t take long for the other boys to figure out my nightly problem, especially when the boys help with the wash and all my wet and poopy things made their way into it. Some boys made life hell for me, but I wasn’t the only boy here that had problems like these.” At this, AJ looked over and nodded at Cody. There were others that were like me, just not as lucky to have their own room. Occasionally I ended up with a roommate but never for very long as Mrs. Betty always moved people into the dorm rooms when space opened up.”


As AJ was saying this, there was a knock at the door and Kevin popped his head in. “Boys, it is time for you to get ready for bed. Everyone go to their own rooms and get ready to be diapered.” He announced.


“Awe… Do we have to?!” We all wined.


“The answer is yes, you do. Tomorrow is a school day and I need to get some boys diapered before everyone starts showing up for bedtime.” Kevin Stated firmly. “Unless you want everyone watch you get your diapered butt changed?” He asked with a smile.


This of course got us all moving and soon it was just the three of us in our room alone getting ready for our night diapers.


“Are you really sure you want to go through with your plan tomorrow?” AJ asked, once again trying to confirm if I was really ready to let myself be hurt by Peter.


With a face as straight as I could, I just answered with one word, “Yes!”


Kevin eventually made his way to our room and pinned Steven, AJ, and me all in our thick cloth night diapers before shutting off our light and telling us goodnight. As he left, I sent a small prayer.


“Please GOD, if you are real; please make tomorrow go off without a hitch so that I can get the hardest part of my plan finished. Also, thank you for helping me with the hurdle of how to get away from school without being noticed.” And with that said, I turned over and went to sleep.



Chapter 18


          That morning when Jerry came in to wake us up and to remove our diapers, I awoke refreshed and in a good mood. One of the biggest reasons for that good mood was for the first time since I was put in this weird predicament was that I woke up in a dry and clean diaper. I felt as if it was a message, telling me that everything was going to work out; it gave me the determination to go ahead with my plan. It was as if several things were going in my favor like they were good omens. Yes I did get humiliated and almost got the crap beat out of me, but all in all, things were for the most part working in my favor. I had my way to the school set up where I will make it well before any of the others from the bus and I should be able to escape from the grounds un-noticed. I had someone to deliver my counterfeited absence note, so the school wouldn’t think to even know I was missing for the day. As long as too many questions were not asked in my general area, I would have an alibi. The fact is I shouldn’t even have any questions at all, as all the evidence would be linked to Peter. His friends would not know his true intentions as he wouldn’t want to get them involved in it.


“Hey there Mr. Daydreamer, how about getting in the shower before the hot water is gone!” Jerry thumped me lightly on my head to get my attention as he said this.


I didn’t even notice that he had already removed both AJ’s and Steven’s diapers and they had left the room and obvious went to take their shower while I had sat there on my bunk with my cloth diaper in my hand going over my plan one more time in my head. Trying to act normal, I grinned at Jerry and hopped up and streaked to the bathroom only stopping to deposit my diaper on the cart outside our room.


“Bout time you made it here!” AJ shouted as I jumped under a showerhead and started to soap my small child-like body up. “We were starting to think you must have fallen back to sleep or something,” AJ added.


“Sorry, I was just lost in thought about today is all,” I explained to him and Steven, who were luckily were the only ones so far in the shower right then, though I did do a double check to make sure.


I was kinda making sure that another person wasn’t there, if you could even call Mike a person.


Must be that Steven had noticed my eyes dart around the room because he laughed as he said, “boy I think you are so paranoid sometimes. No one else is here but you did miss Cody. He was leaving as we were coming in. He said that Tyler left before we got here, so I guess we are last in the shower of the known diaper boys, unless Alastair is going to school today or not.”


“Has anyone spoken to Alastair?” I asked as I was wondering how he was feeling this morning.


Unfortunately, like me, both Steven and AJ had no clue if the other boys talked to Alastair or not and we of course hadn’t had a chance to yet. We decided we better hurry as we knew that the other boys would soon be getting up, the last thing we really wanted to do is be there when the older kids like peter and his crew suddenly showed up. I also still had a slight fear that Mike would show up and mess up my plan somehow.


It never occurred to me that Mike couldn’t stop me. It also never occurred to me that this might have been a test; a test that I could easily fail if I went through with my plan. From this point it would be up to me to make sure I got on the right path as Mike couldn’t be there to guide me back on to it. I was on my own, unfortunately, at the time, I knew none of this. What I did know was, I wanted revenge! You know, I might say that I was trying to protect my friends, but in truth, it was all selfish. I was mad at Peter for hurting and humiliating me and I wanted to hurt him back! I didn’t care about the fact that I was an adult in a child’s body and Peter was an obvious, emotionally, disturbed, and traumatized child, who only knew how to strike out in violence because that is what he was taught. No, none of that mattered because in my mind Peter deserved everything he got, even if he didn’t commit the crime to begin with…


When we got back to our room, I wasn’t surprised one bit to see Kelly there with the diaper changing pad already spread out and a diaper already laid out ready for one of us. Just by looking at it, I wasn’t sure whose diaper it was as the only difference was Steven’s was slightly larger than mine. Kelly took the guessing game away from us real quick though.


“Steven, Get your butt up there and let’s get you ready for your first day of school.” She ordered.




It had been decided yesterday by our caseworker that Steven would after all go to school as long as he was with us. It seemed there were some issues that his uncle had to work out still and he had no idea as to how long it would be before he would get here and have all the paperwork settled before Steven would then be released into his custody.


One of the other things our case worker had done on the way home from seeing the doctor the day before, he stopped at both mine and Steven’s schools and dropped off several packs of our diapers. Now the school would have them in stock. I was actually surprised that there was anyone still at these schools but I guess due to afterschool programs at each of them, they do have a limited staff. While the nurse herself isn’t one of them, there was an office worker at both schools, who was able to put a note on our diaper stacks that we helped put in each of our respective nurse’s offices. Mr. Jessup did also let the office workers know to include in the notes that until our regular shipments start, that we would not have all the other necessary supplies like creams, powders, gloves, and wipes and if they could, please use from other boys supplies. He made sure to let them know that they would be reimbursed if they need to purchase anymore supplies before the end of the month.




“That is cold!” Steven cringed as Kelly started to apply some diaper cream to his diaper area. “Where do you guys store that, the freezer?” He complained.


“Now don’t make it sound that bad.” Kelly shushed him soothingly. I am sorry it is a new tube and it was in a storage area that isn’t well heated so it gets a little chilly back there but it is in no way frozen.”


Both AJ and I giggled as we saw Steven facial expressions as it looked as if he was being frozen to death by diaper cream. I can say this; Steven didn’t seem to find it very funny as he glared at us, especially me.


“Just remember Mr. Chuckles, you are next and you will see what I mean.” He scowled at me as Kelly finished with the cream and quickly powdered him before taping him into his diaper.


“Now, now, you are okay and that cream is all skin temperature by now so let’s not argue over it no more.” Kelly hushed Steven. “Now get up and get dressed so I can take care of Ben.” She instructed and then looked up at me and pointed towards the mat that Steven had gotten off of, I think that is when she must have noticed that AJ was still standing there with his towel wrapped around him, trying to suppress his giggles. “Young man…” She said sharply at AJ. “…why haven’t got dressed yet?”


I looked up at AJ and then back to Kelly as I lied down on the changing mat and was wondering if Kelly was truly upset or if this was one of her little games she played to motivate us. From the on AJ face, I think he was wondering the same thing. Kelly though stared AJ down until his giggles turned to confusion, turned finally to obedience and began to get ready for the school day.


“Much better, thank you for doing as I told you.” Kelly said through a chipper smile. She then focused on me and gave my diaper area a good look before claiming, “Well that rash definitely looks a lot better today.”


To be honest, I hadn’t even thought about the rash at all this morning and realized for the first time that it hadn’t stung like hell when I took a shower. When we had gotten back from our trip to the doctor’s office, who by the way even commented on my awful rash and told me the steps I needed to take to prevent future rashes like this one from reoccurring, Kelly had started the special cream treatment that she had promised and I have to say the cream as she applied it seemed to make the rash feel a lot better. Now as I looked down at myself, I could see the dark redness that had only been there yesterday was now pink in color and other then when she touched it in certain areas, it really didn’t seem to hurt anymore.


“I think by the end of today sweetheart, that all of that awful rash will be gone.” She proclaimed as she grabbed the special cream and started to apply it on me.


Steven who had been getting dressed but also watching me as he wanted to snicker at me like I had done to him when I experienced the freezing cold diaper cream almost shouted, “Hey! That’s not fair! I had to get that cold ass cream put on me and he should too!”


“I am sorry Steven but you don’t have a severe diaper rash like Ben does and this cream he is getting is made especially for that and cost more because of that. Besides, you know he has been getting this special cream since yesterday so why would you think that would have change?” Kelly asked Steven.


Steven shrugged his shoulders as I guess he hadn’t really thought it out. For my part, I just stuck my tongue out at him and smiled and giggled some more as Kelly completed diapering me.


“Still not fair.” Steven grumbled but I could tell he wasn’t really upset.


After Kelly had finished diapering me, she left with her supplies and I started to get dressed for school when AJ brought up an interesting dilemma that I hadn’t thought of until he mentioned it.


“Ben, what you going to do for changes if you are not going to be at school all day, or do you really think you can be dry all day?”


“Um… Well… I… Now thinking about it, I didn’t consider this at all.” I said stumped. Then I remembered the GoodNites in my dresser and went and got them and at the same time saying, “I can wear these.”


Steven thought that was a good plan but looking over at AJ I could tell that he didn’t think so and I was starting to wonder who was truly the adult here, me or him?


“Are you forgetting something Ben?” AJ asked. “What are they going to say when you return here to the home in a GoodNite and not one of your diapers that the school nurse should have put you in? There would be obvious questions and it would soon be realized that you skipped school, unless you don’t care by then that they find out you did skip?” AJ pointed out and what he said made very good sense as there was no way that I wanted any notice put on the fact that I had skipped school.


I thought about what AJ said and it was Steven who offered a suggestion.


“If he was real careful, or if for that matter, one of us were, we or he could take the diaper he is wearing now off of him and then refold it and slip it along with a few extra pairs of GoodNites and maybe even an extra pair of pants in his backpack while everyone is getting settled around the breakfast table.”


It was kind of amazing that Steven literally came up with the same idea I had with what I was going to do with the stuff tomorrow and how I was going to get it into Peter’s pack. I was wondering if he was somehow channeling my inner thoughts. Whatever it was it didn’t really matter as the idea was sound and I liked it and so did AJ even if he was a little afraid of being caught in the act.


It was decided that since Steven had the most experience with diapers that he would be the one to remove the tabs and hopefully not damage them. Very carefully and slowly, he peeled each tab away from the plastic and made sure that it still had the stickiness to it. He then folded the diaper as best as he could while I put on a GoodNite.


“You might want to remember to use the bathroom before going downstairs and after breakfast as well Ben; this way to minimize accidents. I also suggest that you bring a pair of underwear with you to wear over top of your diaper when you do put it back on. I know it will be tight with the diaper but that will be in your favor. The reason you want to wear your underwear over top of your diaper is because if for some reason the tapes decide to pop because the stickiness is not as good as it should be due to the fact that we are doing a re-tape job, your underwear will hold the diaper in place anyway.” Steven informed like a pro of all things diaper related.


As I was putting my shirt on I happened to glance over at AJ and noticed his watch and thought of something else that I hadn’t thought of and how AJ’s watch could help me.


“Hey AJ, I know that this may be a lot to ask of you, but would you be willing to loan me your watch today?” I asked him, knowing that even though it was just a cheap piece of plastic with electronics and probably didn’t cost more than $5, it was priceless to AJ. “I swear AJ that I won’t allow anything bad happen to it and I will give it back to you tonight without a scratch.” I promised him. “I really need it in order to know what time it is so that I can keep track of when I am supposed to meet up with Peter.”


AJ didn’t look too thrilled about this request, but I could see that my request did make sense and as his face started to look like it was beginning to give in he questioned me.


“You promise you won’t allow anything to happen to it and will bring it back?” He asked and I nodded. “Okay, I will let you borrow it on one condition. Before you fight Peter, I want you to take the watch off and set it aside so it doesn’t get damaged.”


“I promise.” I said simply knowing that I would never be fighting Peter today unless something went awfully wrong.


With that, AJ hesitantly undid his watch from around his wrist and handed it to me, where I proceeded to put it on my own wrist.


Once we were dressed we all headed downstairs and with AJ and Steven as lookouts, I quickly found my school bag and shoved my things into it that was suggested and zipped it back up. We then headed off to breakfast.




“Bye Kelly, I will meet you this afternoon right here when you come to pick me up.” I announced cheerfully as I got out the small car.


“Ben are you shu…” Kelly started to once again ask.


“I am positive Kelly, I am fine from here. No one is going to attack me on school grounds.” I told her even though I was sure that was most likely not the case.


I was just as capable of being jumped right here on the playground as anywhere else. I did have one good thing going for me; it seemed that the attention of the few kids there was nowhere near my direction at all. I was surprised that there were any kids here at all considering it was still a while before school even started. Must be some came early so that they could meet up on the playground with their friends and play before going to class, or maybe they were just kicked out the door that early by their parents.


“Okay Ben but if you have any problems, go to the office or tell a teacher right away.” Kelly instructed before driving off as I waved her goodbye.


As soon as she was out of site, I took off in the general direction of where I needed to go. I set my pace, using the watch and the map to try and get an idea of how fast I was going. My goal was to not to go too fast as I didn’t want to tire myself out, but not too slow as I didn’t want to get behind and have Peter catching up to me. Truthfully, I was hoping that Peter would be going a different way than I would be, but you never know. I left him specific directions on how to get to where to meet me. Peter is an unknown though, he could know the area well enough to ignore my directions and just take a shortcut.


As the time went by, I continued keeping track of my progress by using AJ’s watch and the map and adjusted my pace to compensate whenever I found that I was falling behind. For the most part though, I spent that first hour making good time and was actually ahead of schedule by a few minutes. It was only at this point that I worried about the fact of whether or not if Peter might show up or not.


“What if that dick for brains decides not to take the bait and never leaves the school grounds? Then he will have an air tight alibi and they would start looking for someone else to pin the robbery on, someone who could have set Peter up.” I thought to myself.


It didn’t take a genius to realize that they would soon zero in on me and as my own alibi crumbles under the lies. I knew once my lies came to light, the kid who would be going to jail would not be Peter, but instead would be myself. This is when I had to trust that my friends would do their job and rile up Peter enough that he would feel like he has to come after me. They would also have to make sure he feels like he has to prove himself capable to take care of me without his friends help and come alone. So, I crossed my fingers which I know was kinda kiddish and continued my way towards my home.


By the time the 2nd hour rolled around, my short legs and body were starting to tire and all I really wanted to do was sit down and take a break, but after checking my map and the time, I found that I lost 20 minutes. If I wasn’t careful, Peter could catch up to me soon. As my feet got more and more tired, I found myself start scanning the sidewalk for any money as I walked. As I became more and more tired, I began to think I may need to use a bus after all. I guess that was why I wasn’t paying attention as I walked across a street where the cross traffic had no stop sign. If I had been paying attention, I would have looked both ways first before entering the street, but I wasn’t. It wasn’t until I heard a loud screech that I realized two things. The first, that I had almost been killed. The second, I had totally forgotten about my GoodNite. I was remembering it now, as I felt it overflowing and urine running down both of my legs, soaking into my jeans. After that, I didn’t feel anything as I blacked out.




“Harold, did you kill him?” I heard an elderly lady’s scratchy voice ask, as I started to come to once again.


As I became aware of my surroundings, I could tell I was lying in the back seat of a car, which seemed to be driving real fast. I wasn’t sure whose care I was in or where they were taking me but I was hoping to god they were not taking me further away from where I needed to be or I would never make it to my destination.


“Mother, he ain’t dead, he just fainted or something. I’m just going to take him to the hospital to make sure is all,” a man answered loudly, and from the sound of it, he sounded just as old as the woman.


“Harold, he wet himself, he is going to get piss all over the back seat of the Buick,” the Woman stated worriedly.


“Mother, please, I can always steam clean the backseat later. Right now I am more concerned about the boy,” Harold’s elderly voice trembled not from fright but age.


At this point I sat up in the back seat and as I started to speak I gave Mother such a fright that she screamed. Mother’s Scream in turn startled both me and Harold who looked like he was close to a heart attack as he turned deathly white with fright. As soon as everyone had their hearts back properly in their chest, I tried once again to speak.


To keep from crashing their Buick, Harold had slowed down and pulled his car over to the curb where he parked and began to take several breaths to calm his racing heart.


“I am sorry about scaring you. I just wanted to let you know that I am fine and don’t need to go to the hospital,” I explained to them. “Can you please tell me where I am on this map?”


I then showed them the print out of the map I made and both of the elderly couple looked at it then back at me. They then studied the map once more and started to talk amongst themselves about street names and then the hospital came back up and how they could be held responsible.


“Little boy, I realize that you don’t think you should go to the hospital but it is our civic duty to make sure you get there. If anything were to happen to you because we didn’t take you, we could be held liable.” Harold explained. As for your map, we are not anywhere on your map as we left that area a little while ago trying to get you to the hospital.”


These were the words I feared the most. I had a bad feeling that this must have been Mike’s ultimate stumbling block that he put in front of me. I sighed as I looked defeated and slumped down. This seemed to get Harold’s attention and I guess he must have felt something for me at that moment. Maybe he might have been in a similar situation like mine at one time before.


“Little boy, why is it so important for you to get back to this area?” Harold asked me. “My friends are looking up to me to help stop a bully from ever hurting us again, if I can get to here…” At this I pointed to the spot on the map where I wanted to be dropped off that was near my home. “…I can possibly keep this bully from ever hurting us again by catching him in the act of doing something wrong.” I explained to Harold, giving him the story that I fed my friends and not even as much as I told them.


“I know how you and your friends must feel, boy. I was bullied when I was a child as well. I hated it and even considered ending my own life, even tried a couple times but luckily was not successful. Kids can be cruel when growing up and some even as adults. I always wished there had been someone there for me when I was being bullied. It wasn’t until after I joined the Army before it finally stopped, but I know for many, that is not the case,” at this Harold paused for a moment then looked at Mother who seemed to still not yet be quite recovered from her shock. “Mother would probably disagree but she always disagrees with everything I say these days, but boy, I want to help you. If it is okay with you, I will drive you to that spot for you.” As he said this, I shouted out in happy glee and scared poor Mother again and Harold just chuckled as he pulled back onto the road.


As Harold had predicted, Mother definitely was against the idea, for one, she was sure I was going to scare the crap out of her again, which made me wonder if I literally scared the crap out of her a first time. I couldn’t smell any poop in the car, especially that famous nursing home old people poop that is always being covered up with Pine-Sol and other scented cleaners. In fact, the only bathroom smell I could sniff out was my urine drenched pants that I knew I would need to change once I got to my home. In fact, now that I was going to have the extra time because I was going to be at my house even earlier, I figured I could run my pants through the wash and that way wear the same ones back to the Boys Home that I left with that morning.


Sure enough, as Harold promised, we were at the location marked on my map within less than 20 minutes. It only took me a few more minutes to walk the rest of the way to my house and into my backyard. I knew that there was only one way into my home and that was to break a window. I didn’t want to break one of the front windows so all I had was back windows to choose from. I also knew that the basement windows were the best option to use. I knew I could easily kick the glass in on one of them but I wanted to remove all the glass out of the window frame to keep from getting cut or ripping anything. There were trees in my yard that during this time of the year seemed to always lose branches, and I knew if I could find one that I could use it to clear out all the glass. Sure enough, I quickly located a fallen branch and used it to break a basement window. I knew at this time of day, that the nearby neighbors were not yet home and even if by chance they were, they would never hear the sound of the breaking glass inside their homes with all their windows closed and most likely the TV or radio on. I made sure that the window was completely cleaned of glass before inching my small body through the opening. Stupid me had forgotten to take off my backpack and it almost got ripped as I crawled through the window. I knew the basement floor would be a few feet drop for a child my size but I hoped that I could survive it, and as luck had it, I did.


Finally inside I was able to breathe more comfortably, I had made it to my home a little over an hour early. I decided that my very first act would be to strip out of my wet things. I did this right in the laundry room which was the first room I entered after coming upstairs from the basement. I dumped my wet jeans and socks into the washer and set it up for a small load, added the right amount of soap and started it. I then took my saturated GoodNite and found a plastic grocery bag from the trash can and dumped the soaked kids diaper into it before tying the bag. I then fished out a clean GoodNite and headed towards the bathroom where I stripped off both my coat and shirt and took a quick shower. Once I felt refreshed and clean again, I redressed wearing just the GoodNite and my shirt.


Now clean and semi dress, I decided to get my burglary out of the way. Maybe after I was done, I could spend the rest of the time relaxing in my home. I went and grabbed all of the obvious stuff I had planned to get that I knew my wife would notice was missing. When I finished grabbing the obvious stuff, I went to my hidden safe which held a small amount of rainy day money, about 5 grand in five stacks of a thousand dollars each, and my gun, along with the ammo for it. I grabbed a couple stacks of the cash and my gun. I decided to leave the ammo because I had no intention of using it and even took out the clip. When the police traced it back to me, they would think that Peter hopefully found it hidden somewhere and not even consider a hidden safe. The reasoning behind this was, Peter wasn’t the type of boy that seemed bright enough to even consider, let alone know how to find or crack a hidden safe.


I put everything into my school bag. During this whole time though, except when I used the shower. I made sure to use my winter gloves so that I wouldn’t leave any finger prints. As for the bathroom, I made sure to wipe everything down but then again all it would be is my own prints and DNA, which are most likely all over this house. At one point I moved the clothes from the washer to the dryer and made me something to eat as I was starting to get hungry.


I decided to watch a little TV while waiting for my clothes to dry and somehow I dozed off on the couch.


I was in a warm bubbling Jacuzzi and with my wife. We were at some fancy resort place and the Jacuzzi was right next to the in ground pool. I think it must have been our anniversary as we were toasting each other with Champaign and the only time we drank Champaign on vacations was when we were celebrating our Anniversary. Oh we drank Champaign other times in celebration but never on vacation. I looked over at my wife and smiled as we clinked our glasses together and I noticed that at some point she had removed her bathing suit and was motioning for me to do the same. I quickly stripped out of my trunks as it was just us in the Jacuzzi and pulled her closer to me.


Then suddenly, before anything else could happen, my wife laughed at me and said, “Why would I do anything with a baby who can’t even keep his pants dry and still has to wear diapers?”


And then as if that were some magical spell being spoken, my body started to change right there in the Jacuzzi.


As I went back in years and got younger, I swore I saw Mike in my dream saying to me, “Wake up and get out of here, forget your plan!”


I wasn’t sure though if it was him or my imagination playing tricks though as he was there what seemed like one second and gone the next. My wife kept laughing as I kept getting younger and as I came to around the 8 year age mark where I thought I would stop, I continued to grow younger. Soon I was 7, then 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and when I went even younger I was afraid that I was about to blink out of existence! I finally stopped at about 1 month old and instead of the vacation spot we were now at my home but the room we were in was none that we ever had. It was a nursery with a crib and changing table and many other baby things. My wife had laid me down on the changing table and put me into a new cloth diaper and popped a paci into my mouth before putting me into my crib for a nap. The next thing I remember was there being a full sensation in me and with a slight push, a sense of relief came.


That was when I woke up!


My mind was disoriented as I tried to clear it and get up from the couch. The first thing I noticed was that the TV was still on, the next thing was the time.


“Holy crap!” I shouted out to know one in particular.


I was glad I woke up when I did as it was pushing 2pm and I needed to be back at the school at a quarter to three. That meant I had less than a half an hour to finish up here, then get a cab and get back to the school. To make things worse, I quickly noticed that not only had I soaked the GoodNite, but I also pooped it as well.


“Just great!” I berated myself as I checked the cushion and found that it was slightly damp where the GoodNite had leaked.


The good news was, that it wasn’t too bad. I went and grabbed the Febreze and sprayed the wet spot down, then flipped it over and moved it to the far end, where it would be less likely sat on before it was dry. Even if someone sat on it, I really didn’t think the cushion would soak through as it was too thick. I was sure that even with the amount of Febreze I used that it would not be enough liquid to go all the way through foam. Still I wasn’t going to take any unnecessary chances either. The next problem was my poopy GoodNite. I really didn’t have the time to take another shower.


Carefully I walked into the bathroom where I emptied the contents of my GoodNite into the toilet and then using toilet paper and several flushes, managed to get my bum clean enough to use the wash cloth on it without covering it with my mud.


Clean again, I decided not to take any more chances and put my regular diaper back on, making sure the tapes were on as tight as I could get them. Like Steven had cautioned, they didn’t seem to be quite as sticky as they use to be and I was glad that Steven thought of the underwear just in case the tapes did pop. I washed the wash cloth out in the sink with plenty of soap and hot water and after wringing it out, I grabbed my clothes out of the dryer before throwing the wash cloth into it and turning it on.


I then got dressed and looked up a cab company online where I was able to schedule a pickup at the location around the corner from my house. According to what I was told, the cab would be able to pick me up in about 10 minutes so I needed to hurry.


Again I made a sweep of the house making sure other than the intentional mess I wanted to leave behind, that I left no other traces behind. I then left out the back door, locking it as I shut it behind me. I then took off towards where I would meet my cab.




I was surprised when it was Kip and not Kelly who picked me up this afternoon. I had been back at the school for about 10 minutes waiting at the planned spot when a car had pulled up next to me that I didn’t recognize, but when I heard the baritone voice of the driver behind the wheel I knew instantly it was Kip.


“Hi Kip how you doing?” I said jubilantly and before he could answer the first question I went on to ask him another. “Where is Kelly, I thought she was going to be picking me up?”


“Sorry there little man, but I don’t have an answer for you on that one. All I can tell you is that Mrs. Betty asked me to stop by here and pick you up at this spot on my way to work. Maybe Kelly isn’t going to be coming in till later this evening instead. I heard that Rhonda may be ill so she might be working her shift instead.” Kip’s deep voice tried to explain to me.


If this was the case, I wondered who was working Kelly’s shift but then I figured I would probably find that out as soon as I got back to the home. I know I have said this many times before, but Kip huge size normally scares the bejeebers out of me! The thing is, watching him shoved behind the wheel of a car for some reason looked so comical to me. Even though there was plenty enough room for him and his large frame, the car itself was still a compact sized car and the seat seemed to have been custom made for his larger frame so that he would have more foot room. In order to give him that, a part of the back seat on the driver’s side had to be taken out. Again this gave this a whole comical look as this huge man sat behind this wheel of the compact car he was driving.


“What is so funny?” Asked Kip who may or may not have realized why I had suddenly burst out laughing.


I was glad that we had pulled into the Boys Home then as I really didn’t want to take any chances of explaining why I was laughing and possibly getting knocked into next week. I was sure that Kip could do a hell of a lot more damage than Peter could ever do to me.


I jumped out of Kip’s car and yelled, “Saved by the bell, or in this case, by the home property!” Then laughing hysterically took off running with my school bag for the door and before Kip even made it inside, I was safe inside my room and hiding the stolen goods, or at least I thought I was.


About five minutes or so after I had hidden away the loot, Kip had popped his head in the door. It happened so suddenly and un-expectantly that he had scared me so bad that I could feel my bladder let go and fill my diaper. Since I hadn’t actually gone to class to be assigned any homework, I decided it was just best to at least read the next couple chapters in all of my school books. I even was going to do the next couple math assignments in my math assignment book. So as I had started reading  my geography book which for 3rd grade was quite simple it seemed, I was terrified out of my whit’s when a large black man suddenly opened my door without knocking and walked into my room. Well, I didn’t actually notice him come into the room because I was so engrossed in my reading, which is hard to imagine when you realize that the door makes a sound normally when you open and close it. Somehow though, he managed to open the door without making a sound or at least without me noticing it and it wasn’t until he spoke that my skin jumped off my skeleton and fled for the nearest hiding place!


“Hey Little Man…” Kip started to say and then got a good look at me sitting at my desk and I think he could tell that he must have scared the pants off of me, figuratively speaking that is. “Did I scare you Ben? I am awful sorry if I did, as that was not my intention.” He apologized, his deep voice at a much softer tone then I am used to hearing from him.


“I’m okay,” I breathed trying to catch my breath and wondering if my face was as pale white as my knuckles were. “I was just doing my homework and was not expecting anyone to just pop in the room like that right this moment.” I explained and I really wanted to add something about knocking first but I thought that might sound a little too much like a snide remark and just make Kip angry with me. “Did you need me for something?” I asked him.


“Actually I came up here to let you know that Mrs. Betty requested to see you in her office right away. Did you do something Ben to get on her bad side, because she doesn’t seem happy and she is being quite secretive about what she wants to talk to you about?” He asked me as I tried to put on a neutral face and got up from my desk, putting my book down.


“Okay Kip, I will be right down.” I told him and he smiled as he left the way he came, closing the door behind him.


I stood there shaking, wondering what reason there could possibly be that Mrs. Betty could be calling me to her office. Was she upset with me like Kip was assuming? Did that mean that she was on to me for missing school today or maybe even worse, breaking into my own home! If I go down to her office will it end with me being escorted away to a Juvi lock up center, the exact place I was trying to get Peter sent to. All of these fears were pouring into my head and suddenly I was afraid to go down and face the music. I now had almost $2000 in cash and while it isn’t a whole lot, it could get me away from Chicago and maybe a safer place that I could possibly start all over again. I think though it was my burning need for revenge in the end that decided to chance it all. I mean, if it were really that bad, wouldn’t she had Kip or someone else, physically bring me to her. Better yet, wouldn’t she just have called the police ahead of time and have them put me in handcuffs before questioning me. Whatever this was about, I had to think it couldn’t possibly be anything to do about the plan or what happened today, so with a little trepidation, I made my way to Mrs. Betty’s small cramped office.


“Mrs. Betty, I was told you wanted to see me.” I said loudly as I knocked on her door.


“Yes please come in Ben, I would like to talk to you for a minute.” She replied in what sounded like a neutral voice, neither one of anger or concern and definitely not love.


As I walked inside I saw her working at her desk with several papers and seemed to be quite engrossed. I decided not to disturb her and just stood in front of her desk as I watched her flick through the pages and wondered if what she was reading had anything to do with me. She finally looked up at me and seemed to finally fully realize I was standing right in front of her. She put the papers back into a manila a folder that was siting open on her desk and closed it before finally acknowledging me.


“How are you doing today Ben?” She asked, once again not showing any signs of true emotion. “Please take a seat; I would like to have a little chat with you.” She said as she motioned to one of the chairs in front of her desk.


With great trepidation, I took my seat and began to sweat as I worried about what I had been summoned here for. I tried my best to not show my guilt as that was the last thing I really wanted was to look guilty.


Mrs. Betty stared at me and it was as if her eyes were looking deep into my soul but it wasn’t until she finally spoke that I think I crapped my diaper because I just couldn’t understand how.


“Benji, the gig is up! I know everything you did today! I know that you had your friends pass off a fake sick note that you made yesterday in school while you were supposed to be learning. I know that you never went to class today but instead skipped so you could stage a break-in at your home. I also know what you plan on doing with the stolen loot.” She said in a surprising whisper, loud enough that I could hear every word but not so that it would carry outside this room.


I didn’t know what to say as I was stunned. How could she have known this this? All I could do what just sit there and stammer.


“Uh… But… I mean… How… Ugh!”


She smiled as she listened to me stammer away.


“Benji take a breath then try speaking after you organize your thoughts better.” Mrs. Betty instructed me but suddenly I knew that this thing behind the desk wasn’t Mrs. Betty after all.


I wasn’t sure where the real Mrs. Betty was, or if she was actually indeed in front of me, just being possessed. The person who I was talking to, gave himself away twice now, and I didn’t notice it the first time, but I did this last time. How you may ask, since the day I asked, Mrs. Betty has never called me Benji and has respectfully called me Ben when calling me by name. There is only one person who would call me Benji while at the home and he wasn’t even a real person! He was also the only one that could pull something like this off and of course know all of these facts that I knew that in no way possible that Mrs. Betty could not have known!


“Mike! I know that is you!” I shouted angrily at him. “Are you here to once again make my life a living hell by supposedly teaching me another lesson?!” I screamed at the entity wearing Mrs. Betty’s form.


Laughter erupted from Mrs. Betty’s mouth and suddenly, so did Mike’s body. As He popped out of her mouth, Mrs. Betty slumped back in her chair and looked like she had fallen asleep at her desk.


I looked worriedly at the home Administrator as she slumped there in her chair. I knew it appeared that she was asleep, but I was worried about what kind of damage Mike would have done to her by entering her body to begin with.


“Don’t worry about her, she is perfectly fine and will have no memory of any of this. She was already asleep when I decided to use her body as a means to talk to you,” Mike informed me.


I looked at Mike grumpily and stated, “well it was not funny and it scared me badly at first.” As I admitted this, Mike gave me a knowing smile and plugged his nose letting me know that I stink. “I guess you are here to try and stop me from going through with my plan.”


Mike sighed at first and then smiled, “au contraire, I am not here to do anything of the sort. Starting today, I am not allowed to help you in any way. It is my hope that you will do the right thing and figure out the lesson I have been trying to teach you. You are about to be tested and your choices from here on will decide your fate. The right choice will lead you back to your adult life, the wrong one, and you will not only remain a child but also lose all of your adult memories. Those memories will vanish and your childhood will be in full bloom and hopefully this time you will get it right.” Mike explained the possible outcomes to me but in truth I really didn’t care much at this moment.


I didn’t see how not going through with my plan would actually make any difference and supposedly allow me to win this test or contest or whatever it was. All I knew was at this moment, I had to live for the present time and not worry for the laters and that meant taking care of Peter and making sure he was out of my life once and for all.


“I know the rule is I can’t interfere at this point as it is up to you now, but I have been trying to give you clues over and over to what you needed to do. I was hoping that by now you would have figured it out so you could have broken your wish and go back to an adult but it seems that destiny, and as he said this his eyes seemed to glimmer a little,  has brought us to this point instead! I will say this, I am so sick of hearing you blame me for everything going wrong in your life! Have you once thought that there might be another possible culprit besides me?  So I leave you with that last thought for something to think about,” and with that, he vanished.


I was about to leave Mrs. Betty’s office when she started to stir. As she woke up and noticed me there she gave me a confused look. I guess I didn’t help matters as I kinda looked guilty as she looked at me as I felt like she caught me in her private space when I was not supposed to be there.


“Ben, why are you in my office?” She asked through a yawn and straightened out before repositioning herself behind her desk and looking straight at me but this time with kind eyes.


“I am sorry to disturb you Mrs. Betty but Kip said you wanted to see me,” I answered her.


I really didn’t want to get Kip into any trouble but it was the first thing that popped into my head and I blurted it out before really thinking.


“Why would Kip think that I wanted to see you?” Mrs. Betty mumbled to herself. “There must have been some misunderstanding when I told him to pick you up from school. Speaking of school Ben, how do you like it there so far?” She asked me.


I shrugged my shoulders.


“It is okay I guess. I really haven’t had a chance to get used to it yet I guess. The first day I missed most of the class and I am still dealing with people calling me a diaper baby.” I explained to her, which was partly true.


“I am so sorry that happened to you and we had a long chat with that boy’s parents who have assured me that he will be severely punished for doing what he did to you and Tyler.” She explained to me. “He is also banned from riding the school bus as well for the rest of the school year and will have to find his own way to get to the high school. That means you won’t have to worry about him when you return to riding the school bus.”


“You are not going to make me start riding the school bus right away?” I worriedly asked her as I was supposed to have more time away from the bus and be driven to the school by a staff member.


“No, we will keep our agreement we made to you and your caseworker and take you and pick you up for the assigned days. After that though, you will be returning to the school bus.” She informed me. “Now why don’t you find Kip and have him change that diaper of yours, it is starting to smell pretty ripe!” And at this she waved her hand in front of her face which had a sour look on it.


I blushed in embarrassment, thanked her, and made a bee line out of her office and straight to my room. I know that I was told to look for Kip but at that moment all I wanted to do was get back as fast to my room as possible and make sure that my hidden loot was still secure and have a few minutes alone to breathe. Of all the low down nasty tricks that Mike had yet to pull on me, this one was the worst!


As soon as I had my door closed behind me, I pressed my back up against it and slid to the floor until I was sitting flat on my diapered butt leaning against the door and just trying to get myself to breathe normally. As I sat I could feel one of the tapes on one side of the diaper fail and pop off and at that moment was glad I took Steven’s advice as I felt my diaper loosen on that side slightly where the tape popped but was still held tightly in place by my tight underwear. I knew I was going to have to find Kip and get out of this diaper but I still wanted to make sure on my loot first. Another thing I noticed as I sat, was the poop in my diaper squishing up against my butt. I hadn’t noticed it earlier in Mrs. Betty’s office due to the fact that I had been so focused on my racing heart and getting the hell out of there. Now that I was starting to calm down and I was beginning to think again, I was able to notice things like the feeling of the mass smashing itself all over the back of my boy butt. Taking a breath, I finally got myself up and went to look in my hiding spot and sure enough all my stuff I got was all still there and I had nothing to worry about. With that taken care of and my breathing returned to normal, I went to hunt down Kip.




“You better watch out…” AJ interrupted my reading as he entered the room and unlike earlier with Kip, I had been expecting him around about now, as I was told that this was when the bus usually got here and I had been paying attention to his watch, so I had not been scared when he and Steven entered the room. “…Peter is really pissed off and is looking for you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t show up as soon as he can get away from Kip who has him detained at the moment for some infraction that will obviously not go anywhere.”


I was kind of worried when I heard this and while I kind of expected this might happen, I never came up with a real solution other than hope that nothing would happen before my plan went into effect and he was gone from here for good.


“How long do you think I have?” I asked him.


AJ looked at Steven then back at me and shrugged.


“Maybe a few minutes, maybe hours, who knows? I guess it depends on what Kip does with Peter and it also depends on if Peter decides to wait until later or not. You know how he tends to prefer evenings better.” AJ suggested.


I decided that maybe it would be in my best interest to not be alone but in sight for the rest of the evening of one of the home parents. So we made our way downstairs and started to hang around Kip who wondered why we boys were so interested in him all of a sudden.


“Have you boys done all of your school homework yet?” He asked us and I nodded since I truly didn’t have any to do that I knew of. “What about your weekly chore?” At that, I was reminded that I had the chore of cleaning the downstairs bathroom.


I had been lucky so far as I had not yet had to clean it due to the fact that either I was unable to do so, due to not being here, or someone else was kind enough to get in trouble and take on the responsibility of my weekly chore. Today though looked like would be my first day that I would have to do this chore myself. I wasn’t really looking forward to this chore, I know I had already run into Mike, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t pop back in again in his favorite spot. There was something else that bothered me as well; the downstairs bathroom was a perfect spot for Peter to jump me at! It was the downstairs bathroom after all that Peter beat me up that one time.


Kip eyed me suspiciously, and I realized that he must have checked the chore chart at some point as he asked, “Ben, don’t you have a chore that you need to do that you could do now while the other boys do their homework?”


I sighed and nodded, “yes sir, but where are the cleaning supplies to clean the bathroom at?” I asked him.


He shooed my friends off to do their homework before returning his gaze back upon me. He then softly gripped my shoulder and guided me towards where the downstairs bathroom was and stopped at a door right next to it that I never paid attention to before because I was told it was just a closet. Kip took a key and unlocked in and sure enough it was a closet, a supply closet with the cleaning supplies needed to clean the Boys Home.


I know that most kids would drag a chore like this out and make it take forever, or they would do a half ass job at it and make it quick. I instead decided to waste no time and do it quickly but right the first time. I started by quickly cleaning the toilets then wiping down the sinks and counter top. I finally finished off with sweeping and mopping the floor. I also filled the soap dispensers and toilet paper and wiped down the stall walls and doors.


Kip was amazed at how fast I finished and didn’t quite believe it at first. I guess that is why he wanted to check it out for himself so he went in to do just that… What he found I think amazed him because he told me it looked better than he seen any of the kids do in a long time. I was quite proud of myself of that compliment. I was also relieved that not only for no appearance from Mike but also none from Peter as well. I just hope that Peter didn’t come in the middle of the night like he did the last time and try to strike me.


“Looks good little man, your friends are probably still doing their homework, I suggest that you go and watch some TV until dinner time. Kevin is making his famous ‘Tuna Surprise’!” He chuckled at that last part.


I didn’t even realize Kevin was there and I had thought he normally came in after we went to bed. I had of course been expecting Kelly and again was disappointed that she was not here. As for Kip’s suggestion, I thought watching TV sounded like a good idea and I would be a lot closer to Kip and Kevin in the case of Peter trying to pick a fight with me.


There were a couple others in there when I entered the room but Peter was not one of them. As for anyone else, they didn’t pay any attention to me or seem to care I was even around. Even though they were older kids, they had some stupid afternoon cartoons on and for some reason I found them for the first time in years, enjoyable. Also for the first time in the last two days, I found myself actually laughing and enjoying myself!




I managed to not have a run-in with Peter until right before bedtime. He did eye me real hard at dinner and I was sure he was letting me know with those eyes of his that I had one hell of a beating coming for the shit I put him through today.


Our full diaper boy gang, Alastair included were all in our little room talking about all kinds of stuff, basically anything that came to our minds, but mostly the guys were talking about their day at school today. They of course all wanted to know what happened to me today and why Peter was so mad at me. I simply told them the first thing that popped into my head, that on my way to where I was supposed to meet Peter, some idiot almost ran me over, scared me so bad that I passed out and the next thing I knew he was trying to take me to the hospital.


“I swear guys, I didn’t think that old man was going to let me go without a fight but in the end he finally pulled over and let me out. The problem was, I was so far away from where I needed to be, I no longer could make it to meet Peter and I was afraid I wouldn’t even make it back to the school in time to get picked up.” I explained to them. “I guess Peter is upset because I didn’t show up and thinks I chickened out or set him up for to get in trouble for skipping class, is that why he was yelled at by Kip earlier?” I asked.


“Not really sure why Kip was upset with him as I didn’t want to stick around and be a target for either Kip or Peter. Also they took it into the office right after Kip grabbed him anyway.” AJ explained and Steven and the other guys that noticed this, nodded in agreement.


Suddenly our door was kicked open and in walked Peter and his posse. I could tell that those friends of mine that didn’t room in here with me, Steven, and AJ, were really wanting at that moment to run as fast and far away as possible. The last thing they wanted was to be targets, Tyler had already stood up for me once and what had that gotten him? As much as they want to leave though, they all stayed put, whether out of dedication for a friend, or just plain fear of getting up!


“Well, well, what do we have here; a convention for the members of ‘Diapers Dorkus R-US’!” Peter laughed at his own word play. Do any of you babies need your little diapers changed?” Again he and his friends laughed, and then turned his attention onto me. “You know Brat…” At this he walked over to me and yanked me to my feet before jabbing his pointed finger hard into my skinny chest at each emphasized word. “…I swore that we had an appointment today that you yourself set with me! Promising me a chance to once and for all to pound you without having to worry about some adult catching me in the act! Low and behold, I arrive there, a place you pick, and you didn’t even have the nerve to show up! I think I should just beat the shit out of you now for that. You know brat, I missed classes today just so I could get my chance with you and I was willing to get in a little trouble for those missing classes as it isn’t like I haven’t done it before, but then you didn’t show up and I found out I did all of that for nothing, that really just fucking pissed me off! So I ask you, what do you think I should do to resolve this?” He asked with a huge evil like grin on his face and I wondered what that grin meant.


Before I could answer or get beat to a pulp, Kevin walked into the room and saw Peter and his gang in there and I think he could tell there was more going on than a little chat. I would bet anything he had come to check on the loud noise from when the door was suddenly burst opened and the knob slammed loudly into the wall. Peter or one of his gang had managed to open the door slightly without alerting us, which meant we were really into our conversation as I said before, the door makes a very noticeable click noise every time you open it. Once again, no one heard the noise it makes when being opened. Peter’s entrance scared us, not only because it had been Peter but because the fact that he entered so suddenly like how Kip had done earlier that day. I had to wonder how many wet and soiled diapers, were the cause of Peter doing that. Anyway, as I was saying, Kevin came in and put a stop immediately to what was going on.


“Peter, what are you doing in this room? I am sure you were told a while back that this room was off limits to both you and your friends so I want you guys to vamoose and get ready for bed!” He ordered and as Peter and his friends left, Kevin looked at us and especially at me. “You guys okay in here? Peter wasn’t hurting anyone in here was he?”


Cody Scowled and told Kevin honestly, “No, but I think if you hadn’t showed up when you had, he might have hurt Ben. He is blaming Ben because he decided to skip school today so he could try and jump Ben at some point but never got a chance.”


I knew that wasn’t the truth but it worked for what we needed and I hoped it would help get some extra protection for the night. I decided to play the part of a wounded puppy or more appropriately, the puppy that might get wounded if he doesn’t get extra protection.


“Kevin, I am really scared that Peter might try and sneak in here again at some point in the middle of the night. He might then try to hurt me and I really don’t want to take that chance.” I explained.


Kevin sighed and then made me a promise, “I swear to you Ben that no one other than staff will come in your room tonight. Normally I usually sit downstairs in the office between rounds and do paperwork and other things to keep myself busy but for you, I will stay right here by your door this evening other than when I do my rounds and that doesn’t take too long. If anything were to happen with Peter while I am doing my rounds, which I highly doubt, I will be close enough to hear anything going on if you make the slightest odd noise. It would be dumb of him to do so though as it doesn’t take me long to complete my rounds and I would surely catch him out of bed. When my shift is over with, I am sure Kelly will have no problem taking my spot as I know that she is very fond of you boys.” With that said; Kevin smiled re-assuredly at me and ruffled my hair.


I think we all breathed a little better knowing that Kevin would be much closer that night to keep an eye on the upper deck so to speak and especially me. They all knew I was a high priority target for Peter. We talked for a while about what I was going to do now that my plan failed and Peter was most likely not going to fall for it again. The point was brought up that Peter probably would eventually hurt me so bad that there would be no denying what he did but the issue was the fact, how bad would I have to suffer first before that happened. I of course really didn’t like the thought of that and agreed that would most likely be the outcome if I didn’t go through with my plan as I was sure that I couldn’t get 24 hour protection from now until the time that either I or Peter was gone from here. This was why my plan was so important and why it needed to go in effect and had to work. Tomorrow, I would put the stolen loot from my house into Peter’s bag along with the gun and when he goes through that metal detector… Peter will be out of my life once and for all!




That night, after we had been diapered and put to bed, I had one of the worst nightmares I ever had in my life. I tried to wake from it but I found myself trapped and it kept repeating over and over and when morning finally did come for me, the memory of what happened in the dream faded, but the fear from it stayed with me!



 Chapter 19


          “Rise and shine my little munchkins!” Kelly announced joyfully, waking us up that morning. “Time to get those cute fannies out of those night diapers and into the shower,” as she said this she winked at us, as if she was toying with us, though I think I might have been the only one who might have noticed it.


She then yanked our blankets back from us, fully waking us up. As the sun entered the one window in our room I tried to remember my nightmare from last night but as hard as I could, I couldn’t! All I could remember was the absolute fear that I had from it and I wondered if it was a bad omen. I couldn’t help thinking it might mean that something was going to go horribly wrong today. Of course without know for sure what it meant, I couldn’t just stop my plans, for all I knew, it could have been a bad dream about what would happen if I fail and Peter were to beat me to death.


Both AJ and Steven were still groaning and whether it was because of my bad dreams or the fact that I knew I had things I had to get done this morning, I was up like a jack in a box. I stripped out of my PJ’s and exposed my rubber pants that contained my very wet and heavy diaper. Since I was the first that was ready, Kelly placed the changing pad on my bed. I knew she preferred Steven’s as it was much harder to change me on the bunk bed then it was on Steven’s cot, but he was currently still in it and refusing to move his butt out of it!


          “Wow Ben, you are really energized this morning. Did you have a goodnights sleep last night?” Kelly asked me with an amused smile on her face.


          Now I really didn’t want her to worry or change her impression at all about my intentions, so I lied and told her yes. It wasn’t until she had me all cleaned up and was handing me my diaper to dispose of on her cart that something occurred to me.


          “Kelly, I thought you worked the late shift last night. So why are you here still?” I asked


          “Well silly, I was helping out someone last night. I couldn’t actually come in as early as Rhonda’s shift because I needed to get the sleep I needed for the shift. So Kevin agreed to swap shifts. But I also already had to work today as well. I didn’t want to take off another day and knew I would be able to sleep while you guys were in school so I decided to keep this shift anyway. If I took it off, I would not have been able to make my hours as I would not have been able to switch another shift and another person would have had to pick up the slack for my absence.” She explained to me.


          I couldn’t believe how thoughtful she was to help out Rhonda that it even meant that it would throw her own schedule so out of whack that she would have to work a bunch of hours back to back just to get her hours in. I don’t think I could ever do that for anyone as that is just too much back breaking work for way too little pay. Plus to put up with a lot of pain in the neck kids, most of them insufferable teenagers! I was glad though to hear she was going to be there and would hopefully be the one taking me to school that day. I smiled at her, flashing my baby pearly whites and as she tried to once again wake up Steven, I left the room heading towards the bathroom showers, depositing my diaper on the cart along the way. I had noticed a couple other diapers on the cart as well and just assumed that they must have belonged to 2 of my other friends. What I thought strange though was that they were not cloth but disposables like Alastair’s, as well as mine and Steven’s new diapers. I was pretty sure that Alastair, Cody, and Tyler all wore cloth diapers to bed at night like the three of us did in our room. So the question was, who did these diapers belong to? I remembered that this wasn’t the first time seeing extra diapers. I had in fact seen extra diapers before on the diaper cart and wondering who they belonged to but never finding out that answer. It wasn’t until after I got to the shower that Sunday morning and met Alastair for the first time; that I found out where one of the extra diapers belonged too. From there I was able to count him along with all my diaper friends and I was able to come to the conclusion that there were 2 extra diapers on the cart. We never did figure out who the extra diapers belonged to, including the one in the trashcan. Even though I never saw it myself, I believed that Alastair was telling the truth when he said he saw a disposable diaper in a plastic bag inside the garbage can. If we considered that Jeffery was one of the diaper wearers, that gave us 2 diaper boys unaccounted for.


“Just maybe I would now find that answer.” I thought, as I hurried to the bathroom.


As I entered the bathroom I could hear the showers running but no talking. As I came into the shower area, there I found our two very shy and quiet residential brothers showering, neither saying a word to the other. I tried to act as normal as I could around them, so as not to scare them off again. My hope was to get them to open up and talk this time. So I did my best not to stare at either Jeffery or his older brother Scott, as I started my shower and instead focused more on trying to clean myself and letting them feel more comfortable in my presence first. I was more than certain now that one of those diapers belonged to Jeffrey. I also came to the conclusion that the other diaper was Jeffery’s older brother, Scott’s. This still meant that there was another diaper boy unaccounted for. That’s when I had a brainstorm. What if we didn’t have another diaper boy after all? What if the extra diaper in the trash was a diaper change that was done sometime during the night for one of these boys? It would explain the extra diaper being in the trash instead of on the cart itself. If one or both of the boys were heavy enough wetters, they would probably need changes sometimes during the middle of the night.


I was so deep in this thought I guess that is why I didn’t hear when Scott asked me, “Um… excuse me little boy!” He shouted, and I finally looked up at him. “You are crapping in the shower.” He pointed out, specifically between my legs.


Sure enough I had dropped a turd on the shower floor and was in the process of dropping another one. My face suddenly went crimson as it too plopped on the floor with its predecessor. Two things happened pretty quickly, the first thing was that Jeffery suddenly burst out laughing his head off and the next thing was, I burst out in tears!


I don’t know if it was because I was a small child in a bad situation. Maybe he felt like because he was older he was somewhat responsible to help me and sooth me. Maybe it had something to do with his younger brother having similar issues which he would tell me as he helped me. Or maybe he just simply felt sincerely sorry for my predicament and wanted to help me. Whatever the reasons were, Scott came over and hugged me and rubbed my back until I calmed down. He also told me about how he and his brother were also bedwetters and that his brother also had bowel accidents during the day and night. He admitted that he himself had even pooped himself a few times in the day and even in his night diaper but that didn’t happen that often but it was embarrassing when it did. He admitted that they haven’t talked a lot here because they found in the past that when they got involved with other people, it only brought problems towards themselves. They already knew about my problems with Peter and the last thing they wanted was to be on his radar. I did Find out that Scott and Jeffery were pretty close to age and I always wondered why Jeffery wasn’t going to my school as he looked closer to 9 or 10 but was in fact 11 almost 12 and Scott was almost 14. Both of them still went to the Junior High School, Jeffery in 6th grade and Scott in 8th grade. I would have never thought either of these boys that old but it turns out that they are. Then again, no one would believe how old I really am.


I really couldn’t believe how much both of them told me as I stood there crying and being comforted by Scott. By the time I was able to talk again, my friends Steven and AJ were running in and I wasn’t paying attention so I am not sure which one really noticed it first, but both of them burst out laughing as soon as the saw the pile between my legs. At this point, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do more, get pissed off and blow my stack or start bawling again. Luckily the ever shy Scott actually said something to them and intervened on my behalf.


“Come on guys! I thought he was your friend. Don’t you think he is embarrassed enough to have to have you two yahoos coming in here and start laughing at him.” Scott berated them.


I think both of them at that moment felt about one inch tall and immediately apologized.


“I’m sorry.” Both Steven and AJ said almost at the same time.


Then Steven went one further and left the shower only to return a few minutes later with a huge wad of toilet paper. Using the cheap bathroom butt paper, he reached down and carefully began to pick up my turds. Once he had them securely inside the wad of quickly growing wet paper, he ran it back to the toilet and flushed it down. The flushing sound was unmistakable as it echoed in the bathroom. He didn’t stop there, when he returned a few minutes later, he wasn’t empty handed like we had assumed he would be. This time he had some paper towels which he wet down and got some soap on them. He smiled at me before getting on his hands and knees in front of me and then proceeded to scrub the area the poop was at. Once every speck of evidence of what I did was completely gone, he got back to his feet and went back into the bathroom area and finally throwing away the gloppy mess of what used to be, paper towels.


“There, now it is all gone and the floor is clean.” Steven said beaming.


I finished washing real quick and the brothers hung back a moment to actually talk to my roommates. I couldn’t believe it, all it took was one moment of severe embarrassment on my part to get them to actual speak to us. I didn’t want to hang around as I needed to still get downstairs if I could, before anyone else was down there or around and see if I could slip the loot into Peters bag, so as soon as I was clean, I grabbed my towel and started to leave.


“Hey Ben, hold up.” I heard someone call out and looked back to see Jeffery running after me.


I decided to wait for him to see what he wanted. Even so, I didn’t want it to take too much time as I was still on the clock but it wouldn’t matter if there was no one ready to diaper me yet.


Jeffery ran up to me holding his towel as if he was afraid he might lose it and looked both ways up and down the hallway before whispering, “Do you think it would be okay if I get diapered in your guy’s room today? I really hate the suspicion I been getting lately because I been getting dressed but then disappearing to get diapered in the room downstairs. I also have to hope that I don’t have an accident between the time I get dressed and I go down there to get diapered.”


“I don’t see a problem with that.” I replied as I could see how it would be helpful to him.


I let him in our room and was sad to see that Kelly was not there. I did see that she had set up her changing pad and had a diaper set up on it. Again, like yesterday, I had no idea whose diaper it was, Steven’s or mine. As we waited for Kelly, we talked some and finally at some point I got the courage up to ask a question of him to confirm my suspicion from earlier that morning.


“I know that talking about the diaper thing probably embarrasses you…” At this Jeffery nodded. “…but I am just curious, are there ever times where you find that your night diaper is not good enough to get you through the night and you need to get up and be changed?” I asked and hoped that I wouldn’t scare him off by this question.


For a minute or two, he didn’t respond and it didn’t look like he was going to, then suddenly he took a breath and let it out slowly.


“Normally I would tell someone who ask that type of question that it is none of their beeswax but I find myself curious as to why you are asking this and if the only way to get the reason is to answer your question, then I guess I will. The answer to your question is of course I have, many times I have woken in the middle of the night and noticed that I needed a change, otherwise I might have leaked all over the bed. There are times when I don’t wake up and I do leak, so far I have been lucky here and the staff has also been good on checking me throughout the night to make sure I don’t need to be changed.” He explained and finally answered the question without a doubt for me. “Now can you tell me why you asked?”


“Well it is simple; Sunday morning we found 3 extra diapers, 2 on the cart and one in the trash bag that hangs on the cart. At that time, we had no idea who they belonged to. Then one of the guys stated they saw you and that must have meant that one of them were yours which meant that the other 2 were still not known. I am pretty sure I am right about one of the diapers being your older brother Scott’s. What I didn’t know until just a little bit ago was, whose diaper was in the trash? Me and my friends have been trying to figure out who the other diaper wearer is ever since then but we haven’t been able to. I now know why this is the case. There has never been another diaper boy. The diaper, the one in the trash, was from a diaper change done in the middle of the night. A diaper change you had done in the middle of the night as it was a disposable and only you and your brother seem to wear them at night and only you seem to have the problem with really bad soiling issues.” I told him my process of elimination and he smiled in response.


“That is good deduction there Sherlock.” He said with a toothy grin.


About that time, not only did Steven and AJ show back up, but so did Kelly. I figured I would let my friends know about our mystery being solved finally as soon as I had a chance but right now I needed to get my diaper on me and then get downstairs and move the stuff into Peters bag.


“Okay boys, it is diapering time.” She announced and looked over at Jeffery who blushed but took his towel off and I guess she got the idea. “Okay Ben, I got you setup first, then Steven.” She then gave Jeffery a quick glance, “and I guess you will be last Jeffery.”


I hopped up on the bed while Kelly went to work lathering me in diaper cream and powder. She did check over my rash and was not happy to find that it seemed to be getting bad again.


“Ben, you are not getting changed enough it looks like. You need to start telling us when you are wet or do we need to start checking you?” She admonished me. “I don’t want to see this rash to get as bad as it was the other day again and I am sure you don’t either!” She reminded me of how painful my rash had been.


“I am sorry Kelly, I will try better.” I promised her knowing that a lot of it had to do with me walking around yesterday in a wet diaper and not getting that special cream like I was supposed to.


As she finished diapering me, nothing else was said between us. I just laid there and allowed her to do her work and once she was done, I jumped up and started to get dressed for the day. Then under the pretense that I forgot, I picked up my school bag that I was supposed to take down last night. I had before going to bed while I had the room a few minutes to myself, opened my drawer and grabbed the loot and stuffed it in my bag. Now that everyone was busy either watching or diapering Steven, I decided to use this time as my advantage.


“Um… I forgot to take my bag down to my cubby last night. I am going to go and do it now.” I told them.


No one really said anything as Kelly was busy with Steven and Steven and AJ really didn’t care. Kelly just nodded in my direction and went back to work. I walked as calmly as I could out of my room and headed for the stairs. I so wanted from that point to run the rest of the way but I was afraid that my running pounding feet would attract attention so I forced myself to walk the whole way down to the front room where the cubbies were at.


Feeling a little nervous, I quickly scanned the room around me and made sure no one was in sight. As soon as I was sure that I was alone, I quickly located Peter’s cubby and pulled out his book bag and opened it. I then once again scanned the room around me before opening my own bag and removing the stolen loot and shoved it into Peter’s bag, placing the gun on top of it all. I did this as I wanted whoever opened the bag when he failed the metal detectors, to find it right away. I then zipped up both our bags and placed his back in his cubby before putting my own in my cubby.


Feeling relieved to have that done; I stood there for a moment and again thought about what would happen today when Peter walked through those metal detectors. It wasn’t until I turned around that I saw AJ looking over at me across the room and the look he was giving me was one that I would classify as being questioning and confused at the same time. I couldn’t help wondering exactly how long he was there, all I know was that I didn’t remember seeing him when I last scanned the room right before I moved the loot from my bag into Peter’s. Did he see the stuff I put in his bag? Did he see the gun?


Stupidly I waved at AJ and grinned, saying, “Hey AJ, you on your way to breakfast?” my voice quavering with uncertainty and fear of what my friend just might have saw.


Neither one of us moved an inch, nor did he respond to my question, he just continued to stare at me. The last thing I wanted to do was continue this staring game until people started coming downstairs. Since he wasn’t going to do anything, I knew it was up to me. I very much wanted to get away from the scene of the crime I just committed. Planting evidence or stolen goods on someone else was definitely a crime, no matter what way you wanted to look at it.


I walked over to AJ and it wasn’t until I got up next to him did he finally say something to me. What he said almost made me choke on my own tongue that I swore I had swallowed somehow at that moment.


“Ben, what were you doing with that other book bag? I saw yours and I saw you had someone else’s as well, and it looked like you had put something in it before you zipped it back up and put it back.” He questioned me and I couldn’t help but wonder if he saw what it was that I put in the bag.


“Um…” I said hesitantly. “AJ, I really don’t think you want to know the answer on this one. Please don’t make me tell you.” I begged him but he continued to give me that questionable look. I sighed and continued, “Just know AJ that it will once and for all get rid of Peter and no one here will have to worry about him ever beating us up again.” I tried to explain to him.


“Ben… are you doing something bad to get Peter in trouble?” AJ asked, a little unsure sounding at first, but then seemed to feel surer as he finished his question. “Ben, I am with you when it comes to wanting to get rid of Peter but I just don’t feel right if you plan on getting rid of him by means of doing something illegal, or if it is something that Peter isn’t even guilty of doing. I was already on the fence with your last plan but if Peter went through with it on his end, he would have at least been guilty of doing something. This looks like you are setting him up on something and while I am not sure what yet, I have a bad feeling about it!”


I really didn’t know what to say to AJ as he was right. No matter how much I tried to lie and cover it up, I knew he would either see through the lies or will definitely know when Peter was arrested. Eventually the rumor mill will make it back to him about what happened. I knew my best option was only to be honest with AJ, but how honest could I be without him getting pissed with me and blowing my plan out of the water and letting someone know what was happening. I decided to give him just enough to appease him and hope that it would make him stop questioning me. It also meant I had to lie as well.


“AJ, you know how dangerous Peter is and if he stays here he is going to kill me or another boy eventually. I didn’t want to tell you this, but he threatened me the other day with a pocket knife. I am not sure where he keeps that knife at but the other day when I was on my way to fight him and I got hit by that old guy… well, I found a pocket knife lying in an open compartment on the center console of his car and when he was arguing with the old woman, I stole the knife and pocketed it. That is what I put in Peter’s bag.” I outright lied, hoping that not only AJ believed me but that he hadn’t really seen what I put into Peter’s bag.


AJ looked at me a little disbelievingly and I got the feeling that maybe he did see more than I had hoped. I gave him a weak smile and a look that hopefully stressed clearly that I needed him to go with me on this to stop Peter.


“I am not sure about this Ben; it didn’t look like a knife that you put in his bag. I am not exactly sure what it was but it was too big to be a knife.” He stated and I knew then that he had seen the gun but at least not realized what it was from where he had been.


“Oh that is easy, I wasn’t sure if the knife would be enough to set off the metal detectors so I also stuck a big metal rod I found in there too.” I again lied but this at least seemed to make him less unsure with me.


“I don’t know about this plan Ben. Peter can get into some serious trouble.” AJ Worried. “He could go to jail even for bringing a knife to school.”


I just waved it off trying to play cool and said, “Naw, Peter will be just fine. Kids bring pocket knives to school all the time. Worst case scenario, he gets expelled from school and because he got in trouble again, moved out of here to maybe a place that can handle him better.” I explained to AJ and at the same time thinking that Juvi would be the best place for him.


To be honest, I didn’t really think they would throw a kid in jail but I knew there was a good chance that he would end up in Juvi which was about as good as jail for kids.


“You know Ben, I almost swear… but my eyes had to been playing tricks on me as there is no way a kid like you could have gotten your hands on a gun. Still, I would have sworn that was what it was that I saw you shove in the backpack as I was coming this way.”


“I would show you AJ that it is just a pipe but others are going to be down here any minute and I don’t want to be caught inside of Peter’s bag or anywhere near it.” I tried my best to convince him and finally he sighed and nodded.


Without another word said between us we headed to breakfast. I would not know until later that morning when everything went to shit, that my friend was still very unsettled about everything and because of this, would talk to Steven about what he saw me doing on their bus ride to school.




I sat quietly in the car as Kelly Drove me to the school. I had been worried all morning about whether or not that Peter would check his bag before he got to school and went through the metal detectors. There was also the slight worry that AJ might blab as he was looking very nervous as it came time for them to leave for the bus stop.


I was so worried and nervous, I didn’t even notice how wet my diaper was when the others left. If it hadn’t been for Kelly deciding to check me before taking me to school, I might have been leaking before class even started. She took me by my hand and walked me back to the clothing room to where the diapers were kept and she lifted me up on one of the tables. Then as if I were an overgrown baby, she proceeded to undo my pants and pull them down to my ankles and remove my wet diaper. To be honest, the diaper could have held more but Kelly wanted me to get changed more often due to my rash. She took a warm, wet, soapy, cloth and washed me up making sure that all traces of pee were cleaned away from me before drying my diaper area. Then after getting a new diaper ready under my bum, she applied more of that special cream on my rash.


“Kelly, how much longer you think it will be, before my rash will be completely gone?” I asked her as she was applying the cream.


“To be Honest Ben, I expected it to be gone by now. I hope that as long as you get changed regularly today, that maybe it will be gone by tomorrow morning.” She murmured through pursed lips as she finished up with the cream.


She fumbled as she reached for the baby powder and sprinkled some on me but not so much that I was covered in it. After wiping her hands with a towel, she then proceeded to tightly tape the new diaper on me and helped me up off the table and back onto my feet.


“Okay sweetie, pull up your pants and grab your book bag and coat so I can get you to school. At the rate we are going, we might actually show up about the same time the bus gets there.” She pointed out.


This of course was all before we had left and now here we were almost to my school. As I figured it, according to the digital clock on the car radio, we should beat the bus by a few minutes. This was good news as I had other plans this morning instead of reporting directly to my class. Now I wasn’t planning on skipping school again today, I just wanted to sneak over to the High School and see if I can witness when Peter went through the metal detectors. I know it would be taking a chance that someone would see me and ask question of why I was there but I was hoping that with the 2 schools so close that maybe it would be normal for the grade school kids to come over to the High School early every once in a while to check it out before school started. I just wanted to make sure everything went to plan and I also in a very small way, took some pleasure at the thought of seeing him go down and being at the other end of things. I never once considered that just by being there that I could possibly implicate myself in the whole thing. It had to be another side effect of being turned into a kid and losing my adult senses. As an adult, I would have known better to not be anywhere near the scene of the crime.


I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder gently shaking me and my name being called out. I hadn’t realized it, but I had been so deep in my thoughts that I didn’t notice when we had arrived to my school or when Kelly had tried to get my attention.


“Sorry about that,” I apologized as I blinked my eyes and focused on her.


She gave me a smile and hugged me before replying, “I was just worried there for a moment when you didn’t respond and you were looking a little freaky with that weird grin on your face and drooling like you had gone mad. I guess my fear was that maybe you had snapped for some reason.”


Her explanation did sound reasonable and I found it disturbing that I let myself fall into such a state. The fact that she saw me grinning like that was what bothered me the most; at least she didn’t know the real reason for the grin and didn’t bother to ask.


“Thanks for taking me to school,” I mumbled as I grabbed my bag and got out of the car.


She looked at me strangely as I stood there on the sidewalk next to her car. Not wanting to make her any more suspicious, I tried to give her my best ‘everything is okay’ smile and waved at her. This seemed to work as her stare soften and she returned my smile. She then waved at me before driving off to god knows where, my guess was probably home, to get that much needed sleep after working such a long shift.


I knew the bus would be here soon and in fact, it looked like other busses from the area had already started to arrive. My goal was to now see if I could actually get away with getting inside the High School without being thrown out. Without looking back, I headed away from the Grade School and straight to the High School.


The front of the school area was already filled with small sets or maybe they are called packs, not really sure what the proper term of several teenagers grouped together are called. They were all busy doing their own thing and not paying much attention to anyone else, including me. This was good news as I walked past them as I really didn’t want any trouble from the much bigger kids right now.


I made it into the school with no problem and just like our school; it indeed had a metal detector. A security guard was on duty at a desk to keep an eye on the kids as they go through to make sure that they don’t set off the detector. Now this was going to be a big test for me, not because I was afraid that I would set off the detector, I knew that I wouldn’t. No, I was afraid that the guard would yell at me and tell me to go back to my own school. I was shocked though that he didn’t even move as I walked through the detector and continued my way into the school. It made me wonder if he was going to even do his job when the detector did go off on Peter.


Not knowing for sure how much time I had before bus and therefore Peter would arrive, I decided to find a good hang out spot where I would be able to see everything but not look too obvious. Again it looked as if luck was favoring me as there was a bench not far from the entrance and the metal detector. It would not only allow me to see everything, but I could sit comfortably and look like I am reading one of my books as I sit there. Hopefully anyone who sees me will think I am just waiting for someone.


If the worse were to happen and someone did ask why I was there, I would just tell them I was waiting for my brother and if they needed more to convince them I would make up a name and tell them that they have my lunch money and I need to get it from them. Hopefully though, that won’t be needed. Worse case scenario, I would be forced back over to the grade school.


Time seemed to go by slowly and suddenly I wished I still had AJ’s watch, but I had returned it to him as soon as he asked about it. I think he was worried he would never see it again and relieved that he had it back in his hands as soon as I gave it back to him. I had enough money that I could purchase my own watch but I didn’t have the time to do so right now.


Finally not able to stand it any longer, I decided to see if the bus had got here yet or not. Taking another chance, I again walked by the guard who again never said a word as I walked through the metal detector and towards the front doors. As I approached those doors I stopped as I didn’t need to go any further. No, I didn’t see the bus but I didn’t need to. What I did see was Peter along with several boys, a few of them were his friends from the home and some others, I didn’t know at all. They were just right outside the doors. What amazed me was that they were right there on school property, so close to the front doors and smoking cigarettes!


I was flabbergasted at how these boys just seemed to be thumbing their nose at the rules of the institution that they were supposed to be learning at. This just made me even more determined of my plan to take Peter down. The question was now, how long will the idiot stand out there with his friends? I figured that sooner or later someone would notice that I was out of place here and make me go back over to the grade school, maybe even escorted by the guard who is supposed to be keeping an eye on the students going through the metal detector.


I decided to take a chance and turn around and walked back through the metal detector and up to the guard and asked, “Sir, do you have the time?”


I wasn’t really sure if this would backfire and only bring unwanted attention towards me or not but I was relieved when the guard looked down at his watch and replied, “Hmm… it is eleven minutes past the hour.” He then gave me a better look and I guess thought a simpler but at the same time informative answer would be helpful for a kid of my age. “I mean it is 8:11 am in the morning. Does that answer your question?”


I smiled at him and nodded my head.


“Thanks sir, that was very helpful,” I respectfully answered and walked back over to the bench where I took my seat again.


8:11 am, that meant that the first bell letting students know that they needed to start making their way to class was still 19 minutes away as the High School classes began actually at 8:40 with a 10 minute warning bell and a final 5 minute warning bell. The next bell you heard was the beginning of class bell and you were expected in your seat at that bell, if not you were tardy. Now while classes started at 8:40 am at the High School, they started at 8:30 am at the Grade school, so I was hoping to god that Peter didn’t wait until the bell to come in, or even worse, wait until the very last minute. If so, there would be a good chance I would be asked to leave before then.


As I sat there I happened to look down and noticed that one of my shoes had come untied so I bent over to tie it and as I did so, I felt a bubble of gas get pushed down from my stomach it seemed and through my colon. As it erupted into my diaper, it was so loud that I thought for sure the guard had heard it all the way over where he was. As soon as the gas pressure was released I could feel something else following behind the gas, as if it was what forced the gas out of me. Before I could even clamp down to stop it, I filled the back of my diaper, which you have to guess was pretty uncomfortable when you realize I was sitting down at the time and it still made its way out of me.


I just sat there red faced and tried my best to act like nothing was out of the ordinary. My only hope was that Peter would come inside soon and I would get my show. Then I would be able to rush over to the Grade School and get changed by the school nurse. Unfortunately as the minutes passed by, I could see that this wasn’t going to be the case.


Eventually the halls did start to fill as other students started to come inside and go to their lockers and get ready for class. Some hung out in the halls with their clicks, that’s right, that is what they were called, ‘clicks’! Others seemed to head off to other parts of the school. Still, Peter didn’t come inside, it was as if he knew I was in here waiting for him to walk through the metal detector and was making me wait in agony. A few kids gave me a weird stare but no one actually said anything to me which I was grateful for. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I was still in the eye sight of the guard and no one wanted to get in trouble over messing around with a little kid. As for my messy diaper, no one seemed to notice the smell and I myself didn’t even notice it. I decided not to move though at all after it happened as I was afraid that if I did, it would just make the smell permeate the air.


When the 10 minute warning bell went off, I knew I was tardy to school and would have trouble explaining why but I wasn’t about to just up and leave, now that I had this much invested in this. It was now that the bulk of kids that were still outside, started to make their way into the school as well. I kept my eye out for Peter and though he wasn’t in the beginning group, I did see him and his friends finally make their way inside as the group was dwindling down. It was as if they were waiting to be the last ones inside.


I waited eagerly as Peter made his way towards the metal detector then stop as he approached. His friends passed him by as he was digging through his pocket for something and the whole scene was driving me nuts and making me worried at the same time.


“Come on Peter, we’re going to be late for class,” shouted out one of his friends as I was about ready to pull out all my hair in frustration.


I felt a lot better as Peter gave up whatever he was searching for in his pocket and started to walk through the metal detector. As I expected, the hallway was suddenly filled with the noise of the alarm of the detector going off and Peter looking very confused as the guard suddenly jumped to his feet and headed his way with a portable hand scanner.


“I need check your bag there and use this scanner on you,” He insisted as he quickly covered the distance between them.


Now I had imagined this going down several times a few different ways, but always with Peter on the losing end of things. I never even considered what happened to ever be a possibility.


As I said, Peter was confused at what was going on but I guess that confusion didn’t last very long or at least he had some awareness that something in his book bag must have set off the metal detector because before the guard could get him, he jumped back from the oncoming guy and at the same time opened his bag enough to stick his hand in and check the bag. What came out of the bag in his hand surprised me more than I guess it should have and it certainly surprised the guard enough to stop him in his tracks. It was my gun!


From this point, the next minute or so went by so fast and things happened that I wasn’t expecting. I will try to slow down the events that happen so that you can get a grasp at how things went down. I just want you to remember that in real time, that all of this happened so fast, that I had hardly any time to barely process this, let alone time to really respond.


Let’s start off with reminding you that the gun wasn’t loaded. I knew this because I had removed the clip from the gun. The question was, could the guard tell that the clip was missing or not. I was pretty sure that the safety was turned off but that of course again didn’t matter because the gun wasn’t loaded.


The next thing I noticed was when Peter pulled that gun out, he looked scared, and I mean really scared! I know I wanted him to be scared but this wasn’t the way I wanted it to go down. You don’t hand a scared person a weapon, even if it isn’t loaded. The perception to others is that it was loaded and they might treat it that way and that meant that people, innocent people, could get hurt because of me. Shoot, I didn’t even want Peter to die no matter how many times I wished it; right now, I knew that in truth, he was just a boy that deserved to have a shot to be a man.


I decided the only way to try and fix this was to go to Peter myself and hope he doesn’t beat me to death with the gun. As I got up and started to walk towards him though, who shows up un-expectantly … AJ and Steven.


Low and behold, it seems it turned out that they must have walked/ran all the way over here from their school to stop whatever plan I had to get Peter in trouble. I guess AJ didn’t buy my lie after all and decided to come here and make sure that nothing bad happened but he was unfortunately too late. They sure got Peter’s attention though as Steven came running in through the metal detector yelling his name.


“Peter, don’t do anything stupid. It was someone else that was trying to get you in trouble,” he started to say before Peter grabbed him.


“What are you talking about you diapered freak!” Peter snarled.


I think it was about then that Steven noticed me moving towards Peter and I am not sure if that is what made him say what he did or not but what happened next was un-describable for me. The best way I can is ask you a question. Have any of you ever heard of ‘The shot heard around the world?’ It is a very famous phrase depicting the first battle of the American Revolutionary war against Great Britain. Supposedly no one knows for sure who fired the first shot, the Colonials or the Brits; they just know that it resulted in the beginning of the Revolution. Well for me, what happened next was like my very own shot around the world. It was an awakening inside of me that allowed me to see things from a very different perspective. It was as if I was now looking at myself from everyone else’s eyes in that very hallway. Not only there but also throughout my life. I could see myself through my wife’s eyes and my boss’s eyes and every other person’s eyes that I ever came in contact with. It was the weirdest experience to ever have to suddenly be filled with all these people’s thoughts and true feelings about me and how they go out of their way to accommodate me but I never in return even thank them nor do the same in return.


“EVERYONE BETTER STOP MOVING TOWARDS ME RIGHT THIS MINUTE OR THIS KID IS GOING TO BE DEAD!” Peter screamed, breaking me out of the weird trance I was in, just in time for me to see him put the gun up against the back of Steven’s back.


I guess I hadn’t been the only one that had been moving towards Peter at that moment. The Guard had I guess attempted to once again close in on him again and AJ had as well but both backed off right away when Peter made the threat. I wasn’t even sure when the cop showed up and couldn’t figure out how he could have gotten here so fast as I knew that not more than a minute had gone by since Peter had drawn the gun. But he was just inside the entrance as if he had just walked inside the doors. He had his gun drawn on Peter but so far wasn’t firing, which was a good thing as I didn’t want anyone to get shot over my stupidity.


Since everyone else thought the gun was loaded, they were taking Peter seriously and I figured that maybe this one time, if I approached him, he would think I was just crazy enough that he might respect me enough to listen. Worst case scenario, he tries to shoot the gun and nothing happens. He of course has been reacting to everything so he himself hasn’t even had a chance to see that the clip is missing.


Slowly I moved towards Peter and softly call out his name, “Peter.”


I don’t know who was more astounded when a loud crack of gun fire went off! Peter, because he actually went through with it all and fired the gun into Steven’s back. Steven, who suddenly felt the bullet enter his back before even hearing the sound and watched as it exploded out the front of his chest throwing blood splatter all over his shirt, face, and floor of the hallway. Or maybe it was me, for the fact of realizing for the first time that while I had taken out the clip, I never made sure to clear the chamber. I also only had a split second for this thought before the bullet that had went through my friend buried itself into my own chest and I collapsed onto the floor!


As I started to black out, I felt my bladder release into my diaper and flood it. I think I might have also laughed and said that I wish my chest had a diaper to soak up all this blood. I am not sure if I said it out loud or if I just thought it as I don’t think anyone really heard me. Trying to keep myself from sliding into the dark abys but losing, I could hear when the screams started and I realized that I was lying on the cold floor staring at my friend Steven’s very cold, dead looking eyes. As for what happened to Peter I wasn’t sure because I wasn’t able to get up or look around and I was losing too much blood to keep conscious. Amazingly, I was hoping that he didn’t get shot and killed. I knew I deserved to die for it was my fault that Steven was dead, but Peter was only put into this position because of me. Me and my selfishness got my friend shot and killed. These were the last thoughts I had as the blackness swallowed me alive.




It had to be a bad nightmare! That was the only way my mind could make any sense of any of this at all. But as I became more aware of my surroundings I knew that I was in an ambulance. There was a technician busy trying to work on me and for a moment I wondered what he was doing and was going to say something to him, but that is when I saw Mike looking down at me. As I looked up at Mike I saw that he was genuinely smiling and I think it was the first time I ever remember him doing that and I couldn’t help wondering what made him that happy.


 I looked up at Mike and inquired, “What are you so happy about? I been shot and I think one of my best friends have been killed!”


Mike just nodded his head in agreement before solemnly saying, “I am sorry for your friend but I am happy that you finally learned something. I was starting to wonder if you ever were going to get what I was teaching you. I knew that deep down you already knew what it was but that you just refused to see it. It wasn’t until you felt sympathy not only for your friend’s safety but also for your enemy that you were able to actually unlock the power to finally see how selfish you have been. You tend to put yourself before others and not care at all about their needs or wants. You then blame them for all of your failures in life instead of taking the blame when it is squarely your own. By admitting and owning up to the fact that this was your fault and taking the blame onto yourself, you have taken the first step towards the goal of reversing your wish.”


I wasn’t sure if it was because of my weakened state or because I was just plain confused, but Mike had my mind twisted in circles by what he just said and I found myself asking, “What you talking about there Mike?”


 “How close are we to the ER are we, the boy is talking like he is speaking to someone not there? I am worried that it might be a sign that he might be getting ready to give up and move on,” I faintly heard the EMT guy yell out to the guy driving the ambulance.


I never heard the guy respond and to be honest I never heard a thing from the EMT guy working on me either. It was as if Mike had muted them for our discussion so we wouldn’t be interrupted. In fact he even told me to ignore them.


“Don’t mind them, they are no longer any consequence to your life so it doesn’t matter what they think,” Mike explained. “Now where was I… Oh that is right. Since you basically passed the test we gave you we are going to give you another chance by sending you back in time to fulfill the final piece you need to do in order to become an adult again. Here is the only problem. You can’t allow yourself to die before you finish this last thing. If so, you unfortunately will die for real with no coming back to your adult life. Do you understand this?” He asked me.


“I understand,” I confirmed. “If you can return me back to this morning before I planted the stuff into Peter’s bag; that would be great.”


“Sorry Benji; no can do on that! Remember, the rules of this game are, that you have to face your mistakes and own up to them, not cover them up or hide from them,” Mike chided.


I realized suddenly that meant I would have to face a Peter that hated me and was going to hate me even more once he found out that I tried to get him in trouble by planting a bunch of stolen loot in his bag and a gun to boot. Truth was, it was that gun that scared me more than anything, or should I say, a very angry Peter with that gun in his hands. Mike had just told me I couldn’t die, yet, here I was getting ready to have to face Peter and admit what I did to him, and he has the means to actually kill me. Then again, he really doesn’t need the gun; he could actually beat me to death if he wanted to.


“How far back are you going to send me then,” I asked as I didn’t want to be stuck again already in a bad situation with him holding the gun.


“You will be sent back a couple minutes before the first bell rings. It will give you enough time to get Peter’s attention and direct him away from the school. From there you will have to find a way to let him know what you did without it resulting in him killing you,” he instructed.


“So, how do we go about doing this, do you make me another drink?” I joked and laughed at my attempt at bad humor, causing me to go into a coughing fit and cough up a bunch of blood.


“No need. Just relax and in a second, all the pain will be gone,” Mike consoled me then he snapped his fingers and I was in blackness once again!




I am not really sure how to explain what just happened. I can tell you this, one moment I had been dying in the back of an ambulance and the next I was perfectly fine. Unless you count a soiled diaper as a disaster. I was once again sitting back on that High School bench where I had waited for Peter to come inside the school. You may ask how I knew that this wasn’t some sort of daydream or figment of my imagination… that was easy. Mike was standing in the glass trophy case across the hall from me, smiling and waving.


“Now get your scrawny butt out there right now Benji and own up to your mistake like a man,” he ordered me, though I knew that even with all the bluster that it was up to me to do the right thing and even though I was scared to death, at least if I did this Steven would live.


Without caring what others might think, I gave Mike a salute and shouted, “yes Sir!”


I was sure I got some odd looks from the few people who noticed, including the security guard. I guess they must have all thought I had lost it or something as I was saluting and talking to no one other than my reflection in the glass case. I decided to just ignore their stares as it wasn’t important as saving Steven and keeping Peter from doing something that would be my entire fault and would ruin his life forever.


As bravely as I could, I walked through the metal detector and out the front door and straight into the lion’s den! Of course Peter noticed me almost as soon as I walked out of the High School and if he hadn’t he would have definitely taken notice as I bravely, outwardly that is, walked up to him and his group of friends. I think I actually stunned him because he stood there and continued to smoke his cigarette for several second while staring at me with this weird look on his face and not saying a word. I think at that moment if I hadn’t already crapped myself I would have done so at that moment just from the creepy look he was giving me.


Since he wasn’t pouncing on me or yelling at me, I took it as a chance to quickly tell him something, which I hoped would be sufficient enough to get him away from the school grounds so we could ditch the evidence that was currently in his bag. I of course hoped to accomplish all this without any incidents happening, like people getting shot and definitely not killed.


I got as close as I dared to peter and whispered, “Peter, I know you hate me right now and would love to more than anything rearrange my face. As much as you would like to hurt me, I really need to talk to you about something first. I need to tell you about something that I did that if I don’t stop right now, it is not only going to get people hurt and even possibly killed, it will also land you in jail.”


As I expected, Peter didn’t seem to be too happy when he heard that I was behind some plot to get him thrown into jail. I could tell he wanted to throttle me right there on the school yard but at the same time didn’t want to get caught doing so. I knew this was my chance to get him off the school grounds once and for all. It of course also meant that once we were off the grounds, I was fair game. I just hope I was strong enough to hold off long enough to possibly get him to understand and maybe to forgive me. If not him forgiving me at least the ability to forgive myself since I was able to do the right thing for once. Even if it did cost me the one thing I needed to not give up, in order to return to my adulthood.


“Peter, I know you want to beat the crap out of me, but you can’t do it on school property. Well you are in luck, this time you don’t have to meet me anywhere, just follow me off the grounds and we will find a nice quiet spot and chat, and if you want to still beat the crap out of me, then so be it. But you got to hear me out first as it is crucial or you and I, will regret it for the rest of our lives,” I explained, trying to broker a deal with him.


Peter kinda grunted and I wasn’t sure if that meant okay or not, or if it was his way of laughing at my attempt to barter for my life. I really hoped it was the first as it was paramount that he knew what was in his bag and that we took care of it. As we left, I thought for sure his friends were all going to tag along with him as they all started to head out with us, but Peter amazed me when he put an end to that notion right away.


“Hey guys, I can take care of this little diapered baby myself. No need for us all to be marked tardy for class today,” and as if on cue, the 10 minute warning bell rang. “Tell the teacher I had a case of the runs and will be in class as soon as possible,” Peter instructed his friends to lie and cover up for him as he walked away closely following me.


I decided to keep a good pace ahead of Peter just in case he decided he couldn’t wait until we cleared the school yard after all. I kept an active ear listening to his feet as they hit the pavement, as he followed me and he increased his speed, so did I. So far, we were not in an all-out run but we were definitely in a fast pace walk by the time we left the school grounds. That is when Peter suddenly closed the gap before I had a chance to react and clasped a big hand on my shoulder and pointed towards some bushes down the road on an empty lot.


“Is that okay for your pounding?!” Peter sneered at me with what looked like a wicked smile.


I gulped and nodded my head before reminding him, “Peter you first agreed to let me talk to you as I really need to tell you something important or not only will I, but you too will regret it for the rest of your life!”


He gave me that same sneer and squeezed my shoulder he was still holding with so much force that I thought he was going to break it. I think it was obvious right away that he was not happy but did this mean he was going to honor or not honor the agreement?


“We do still have a deal?” I asked hopefully.


“Let me make myself clear squirt, I never agreed to any deal other than to beat the living snot out of you!” Peter barked; then as if he thought better of it he seemed to change his mind, “I’ll give you two minutes bug and that’s all; not one minute more. If you can’t convince me in that time, I am going to squash you, got it!”


As we entered the empty lot and took cover behind the bushes, I started quickly to tell Peter what I done. I first started at how I felt towards Peter which made him feel proud of himself. I went on to how I then became even more afraid of my life, especially after the night he beat me up. Again he seemed very proud of the fact that he brought so much fear into my life.


“You know if it hadn’t been for that sissy friend of yours, my friend would have pounded you into the ground and the Home wouldn’t have been able to even blame me. Of course my friend had to take some heat but he owed me a big favor. It is cool though, because now it gives me the chance to do the job myself. Ever since you arrived, just something about you makes me want to pound you through a wall! And now I think your time is about up,” Peter chuckled as he pulled back his fist and got ready to throw it.


I squinted my eyes closed, and threw up my hands to protect my face, afraid of what was to come while shouting out, “wait! I still have time left. The time you spoke doesn’t count towards my time. I still haven’t gotten to the worst part, the thing that I did to you,” I admitted and this instantly got Peter’s attention.


“What do you mean, did to me?” He asked.


“I am sorry Peter, I made a terrible mistake. You have to understand, I was scared and mad and I just wanted to protect myself. I also was selfish and not thinking of any of the consequences of what could possibly happen. I now know that very bad things will happen because of what I did and it was my entire fault and not yours, but in the end, you will be blamed for it all. People will die because of it! No matter how much of a bully you are Peter, I don’t think you ever want to be a murderer. I also don’t want to be responsible for turning you into one,” I tried to explain as tears rolled down my cheeks and I could now see several emotions play through Peter’s facial expressions, I was just not sure which one was the most prominent.


“What the hell is wrong with you?” Peter asked in disgust and I could also still hear the anger as well in his voice. “I should beat your brains in just for what you are telling me, but I know now that you still haven’t told me what you did yet and I need to know so I can stop it then kill you!” Peter snapped angrily.


I was sobbing uncontrollably by now and I tried my best to stop the flow of tears but it was useless as I told Peter the final part he wanted to know.


“Peter, the reason I didn’t meet you yesterday so that we could fight was because I wanted you away from school without an alibi so I could set you up with breaking into a home I use to live in. I went to that home and robbed it. I made sure though that I had an excuse set up for my absence from school so as far as school knew, I was sick, and the home thought I was at school. You on the other hand had no such excuse. Yes mine was flimsy but my excuse was never going to come into question, yours was because you were going to be found with all the stolen loot,” I explained to him through my pouring tears.


“You telling me that you were going to plant stolen loot on me to get me convicted of breaking into the house you broke into?” Peter asked in shocked astonishment.


I corrected him, “not plant, planted. This morning while everyone was getting ready still, I put the loot in your book bag…”


Before I could even finish and tell him about the gun, Peter, who had the bag hanging over his right shoulder, dropped it on the ground and quickly opened it. Of course it was very easy to see all bigger items that had remained on top of his stuff in the bag, like the gun for instance. This was about the time Peter started freaking and going bat shit. It was also about this time I heard familiar voices and suddenly AJ and Steven had appeared in the lot. They must have heard Peter on their way to the school and realized that they didn’t need to go there, as he was here.


As I saw them come into view I also at the same time in my peripheral vision saw Peter stick his hand in his bag and pull out the gun. I could tell the sudden appearance of AJ and Steven had startled him and he wasn’t in the right frame of mind at that moment as he aimed the gun in their direction.


I only had a fraction of a moment to make a decision. I had already lived this moment in time and I wasn’t about to let one of my friends be hurt or killed again.


I am not sure what AJ and Steven thought as I screamed and threw myself on top of Peter just as the gun went off knocking him backwards, just enough so if the bullet were to go through me like it did with Steven, that the angle would be off enough that it would not hit my 2 friends.


It took me a moment to realize it, which is really kind of weird, but when I did, I looked up to see that Mike was there too, and asked him, “am I dead now?” and as I looked at the scene in front of me that at first I couldn’t accept but now realize is the truth, I could even see Peter himself apologizing to my very still body for what he had done as the blood poured from it.


“Peter, you shot him!” AJ screamed and started to cry as he pulled off his coat and tried to use it to stop the blood flowing from my chest. “Help me save him,” he pleaded both to Peter and Steven.


I could tell Peter had gone into shock though as he just sat there on the ground and rocked back and forth saying, “I’m sorry Ben. I’m sorry Ben. I’m sorry Ben.” over and over again.


I also couldn’t help but notice that Peter had a huge wet stain on the front of his jeans, where in his shock or fright or whatever, he had pissed himself. The old me would have loved this as revenge against Peter, but I found the sight of Peter here very disheartening and it didn’t help my mood one bit. Once again, this tragedy was entirely my fault, if only I had done the right thing to begin with, none of this would have ever happened. Even though I in the end paid a heavy price for what I did, once again, so will Peter. I felt awful because I failed to stop him from pulling the trigger. I did feel better that he didn’t kill Steven this time, but it still ultimately was a fail.


As I stated, Mike was right there watching everything with me and for once Mike was very quiet which I found quite eerie but at the same time respectful considering the state of my body. When he did finally say something he did so with what I felt great reverence and deep feeling for me and he also surprised me because he did something for the first time since I knew him.


“I wish I could tell you what you would want to hear Ben…”


That is right! He called me Ben, not Benji! I had to wait until I was lying there dying to hear him call me by my preferred name but it was worth it. I had felt like I had earned Mike’s respect. To him, no matter what body I was in right now, I was a man.


“…unfortunately your body is losing too much blood and your friend Steven is just now leaving to get help. By the time paramedics can arrive here, you will have lost too much blood. You will be dead before they or any help can arrive,” Mike announced sadly.


My very first instinct was to beg Mike for my life but then I took a moment and thought about it and realized that I didn’t deserve it. I had destroyed Peter’s life, even if he somehow manages to stay out of prison or Juvi because of this; I knew it was going to affect him for the rest of his life. What kind of man will this make him? Will this turn him into a monster or will it affect him deeply and cause him emotional scars for the rest of his life!


So resigned to the inevitable, I looked up at Mike questionably and asked, “Is there anything that can be done for Peter?” I knew I didn’t deserve to have my life bargained for, but Peter definitely did.


Mike looked at me solemnly and shook his head and said, “he is set on a new destiny now and that is the destiny he will live because of this act. It can’t be changed because of this moment itself has made a lasting mark on Peter’s life. I know you would like to know what his destiny holds but a person’s destiny is his own, unless they choose to let you in on it.


I sighed and the asked, “so what next?”


Mike just looked down and smiled at me as he reached out and touched my nose and stated, “Where all your pain can become pleasure, where all your dreams can become fulfilled, and where there is always the possibilities of second chances.”


And as his finger made contact with my nose, I felt a warm and fuzzy feeling throughout my body starting from my nose spreading throughout the rest of my body. It was as if I were feeling happy with no care in the world and like I could float all the way to the moon if I didn’t have someone grab hold of me. The thing is, I didn’t care if I floated away and attempted to kick off into the sky, the further away I got, the further behind my body and my friends were.


At first I thought I had even left Mike behind but realized that he was right there next to me. I waved and Mike smiled back at me. He then stopped and grabbed a hold of me. Suddenly we were just right above my body again and I couldn’t help but wonder why we were back here as I wanted to fly away.


Mike snapped his fingers in front of my face which helped a little and pointed down at my body before explaining, “It is about to happen. I know you want to fly and want to experience what comes after death, but Ben, I thought you would like to see this moment as you take your last few breaths.”


I found that he was right, yes it might be morbid to want to see your own death, but I did. I knew that with my soul not in my body that meant that I was not going to be speaking to anyone; at least I was pretty sure of that. It would freak me out if I did start to speak with me looking at myself. Steven had yet to return. AJ who was bawling, was still using his coat to try and stop the blood. Peter was now sitting on the ground with the gun in his mouth pulling the trigger non-stop. Of course there was only the one bullet in the chamber, so there was nothing to fire into his own mouth and out the back of his head, no matter as much as he wanted there to be.


I could hear a siren now down the road but as Mike said, I could see by looking at me, that I was slipping fast. My breaths were ragged and short and blood was bubbling out of my mouth as I tried to breathe. I watched as my small body fought to continue to take each breath and a part of me was hopeful even though I knew already the truth, as the sirens drew nearer. Then as Mike had foretold, before the ambulance was even in sight; my small body first shuddered, spat up some blood, then with one last gasp… Died!




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Wow that was a gigantic cliffhanger to leave us at.

Wonderful chapter

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Chapter 20


With my death finally complete, I figured I was now free to move on to the next plane of existence, whatever that was. I looked up at Mike expecting him to lead the way as my guide. I sure didn’t know where to go from here or what to expect. If I were to be really honest with myself, I would have to say that I had always believed that once I died, that was it. Now after meeting the impossible being that was Mike, I wasn’t quite sure what to believe in any more. Was there really a God or was there more of a spiritual consciousness? One thing I was sure of, I didn’t want to be a disembodied ghost haunting this world till the end of time! It would not only be a sad reminder to me of what I lost, but also after a while I think I would go mad. Of course, then again, it could be a suitable punishment for me. Still, as I searched Mike’s eyes, I hoped that there was more than that for me.


Mike reached out and put a comforting arm around me before sighing and finally explaining, “I am sorry Ben; I know how much you would love to move on to the next plane of existence. The problem is, even though you did learn your lesson, there are still people who you have left scarred here. So far you have been very concerned, and properly so, of what is going to happen to Peter from this experience. What you forget is that your 2 friends, AJ and Steven also witnessed this horrible event and it will also affect their lives in a negative way as well.”


As Mike reminded me of the fact of how both AJ and Steven had seen Peter shoot me, I for the first time was hit with worry for how it would impact their young lives. Poor AJ had to witness me die as he tried his best to stop the blood gushing from the large bullet hole in my body! For a brief moment I saw a future of him as an adult, a violent man sitting in a dank prison cell. How he got there and what was to happen to him, I was uncertain as I wasn’t allowed to see anymore.


How would Steven react when he got back to find that he was not able to get help here before I died? Would he forever blame himself? I again saw a glimpse of the future, this time of Steven. He was only a few years older and living with his uncle but he was having a hard time and he seemed very sad and withdrawn from everyone. Again that was all I saw and I wasn’t sure if this was due from this direct action of my death or not but I figured there was a pretty good chance it was. One thing was sure, both of these boys would need years of intense counseling most likely and even then from what I saw, I doubted very much that they would ever be the people they were meant to be. I wasn’t sure who they were meant to be and I wasn’t allowed to see the full outcome of what this future would make them either, which made it frustrating. I got the point though; Mike wanted me to know that no matter how much I changed the Destiny of a person, any change, big or small is too much. This all hit me like a ton of bricks especially the fact that I probably messed up my friends Destiny’s badly!


“I… I’m s…sor…rr…yyy  Mike. I d..di…d…n’t ma…ma…mean to forget about my friends,” I stuttered badly, ashamed of myself and felt like I was about to burst into tears.


 Mike hugged me and nodded while saying, “I know you didn’t mean too and I am sure given time you would have thought of them. They were not the only ones though that this event would have effected. In the time you have been at the Boys Home, you have made several connections and friends, and those people will also be affected.”


Once again he gave me a moment to consider the words he just imparted on me and I found myself thinking about nothing but them. I quickly started going over all the people in my mind that I had met since I had gone to the Boys Home but then I took it even further and stepped back to the moment when I first got my wish granted and wondered how each of these people I encountered would take my death.


As nice as Barney the bum was, I really didn’t think my life or death would impact too much especially since it would be hard for him to find out that I had died in the first place. Still I considered him and figured that even though he only knew me briefly, he still might be hurt to find out that I was shot and killed. Then there was the police officers, they weren’t really that nice to me, like Lieutenant Grant who wanted to believe I was nothing more then some hooligan. If it weren’t for him though, I might have never been introduced to Father Caleb.


Father Caleb himself, a very likeable man who for some reason was the only one to believe me when I told him my fantastical story of being changed from an adult to a boy. He introduced me to Mrs. Betty, the administrator of the Boys Home who acts tough but really seems to care for the boys left in her charge. And then there were the people that worked there like Kip, Kevin, Jerry, Frank, Rhonda, Mrs. Biggs, and of course Kelly to name a few. Those were just the staff at the home. How would each of these adults take my death?


My thoughts then jumped again, past the adults of the home. There were also the rest of my friends like Tyler, Alastair, Cody, and now the two brothers Scott and Jeffery. I was sure that others that knew me and Peter at the home would be affected as well. Would my death stunt all of these young boys and teenagers on their way to adulthood, emotionally? Even though they were not there to witness it themselves, like Steven and AJ? Would they forever be changed by what happened and because of it not become what they were meant to become? While I couldn’t say with a definitive answer, yes to this question; I couldn’t be sure that it wouldn’t be no either.


Finally my thoughts went to the people at my elementary school, like my teacher, the school nurse, and the few other people I had a chance to meet in the short time I actually been there. Even though my time at the school was short, I realized many will also be affected too. For instance, young kids are easily affected by violence such as this. It makes it even harder for them when it is so close to the school and when it evolves someone that they might have known or at least had a chance to meet.


I guess Mike must have known when I was ready to go because as soon as I finished this last thought he continued, “a lot to consider, but I see you are now doing so. I really hope this last bit of information doesn’t sting but here it is. I know you still love your wife and you may think she doesn’t love you anymore, but that is the furthest from the truth. Your wife really does still love you, yes she is angry at you for cheating on her, but it was her love for you that made her get so angry in the first place. It was that love that she entrusted in you and when you had cheated on her, she felt betrayed and hurt. It is a love that even in all her anger for you, that will forever have her trying to search for you.”


I knew Mike was right on this. Don’t ask me how I knew it, I just did. Maybe it was just a soulmate thing. As I stated right from the beginning, I loved my wife and I don’t know why I did what I did. I didn’t love the woman I had the affair with and she didn’t love me. We just used each other to get what we wanted and we both knew it had been that type of relationship from the beginning. I had been missing the closeness I used to feel with my wife and I didn’t know why she had been so distant. I used this as my excuse, yes it was a very bad reason for one to play around on the side.


It suddenly occurred to me that Mike, a person who seems to be able to have some sort of mystical power, might be able to tell me what will become of all of these people, so I asked, “Mike, can you tell me anything about the future of any of the people that my time and death have affected?”


“Ben, I know how much you would like to know the answer to that question, but I am sorry, I can’t give you much, beyond what glimpses you already saw. I can tell you this, that it will be up to the personal choices that those people make from this point forward. While there are infinite choices that can be made, there is usually only one universal Destiny for each of us. Unfortunately, you have thrown many off of their chosen path already and the universe has to now alter the path for their Destiny. It will now be up to them to accept the new path, which will now be harder for them than the old one, and only the universe knows where that path will ultimately lead them. For some, they could have Destiny jump up and down, waving their arms, and yelling loudly in front of them and still they will choose to not follow the universal plan. Those are sad cases. Then there are others on the opposite side of the spectrum, those that will swear that they missed their opportunity at Destiny when all along they had everything they ever wanted and just didn’t even realize it. Then there are the more severe cases like yours where they are so blind that they don’t even notice Destiny or consider if they are going against it or are being blessed with it. That is because people like yourself are so consumed with only your own selves that you think of no one else.” He chided me.


I knew he wasn’t trying to belittle me. I got the fact very quickly that he was just making a point. As for all those people being left in limbo and thrown off their path of Destiny because of me, I felt just terrible. If I could, I would go back and never do it in the first place but if I learned one thing out of this mess, it was that in life we are not supposed to wish for takebacks, but find ways to fix the messes we are in, starting with owning up to the mistakes we made.


“Mike, I realize now that I squandered my wish. I was selfish and wanted a life of no responsibility where I didn’t have to worry about my wife or boss or any of the other crap that was happening. What I should have wished for from you was for the confidence and the right words needed to face those that I needed to and own up to what I did wrong,” I confessed.


Mike seemed genuinely proud of me as he clapped me on the back.


“That would have been a very good wish indeed Ben,” Mike whistled.


With all this out now, I was still very confused as to what was going to happen to me. Mike said I wasn’t going to move on, so did that mean I was going to be some disembodied ghost. Then I had an even worst thought as I considered a possibility of going to the biblical Hell! Yes I made some mistakes in my life but did I really deserve to go to Hell? If it weren’t for the fact that I was a disembodied spirit, I was sure I would be pissing myself right now!


As calmly as I can, I once again put forth the question to Mike that I was hoping for him to answer.


“Mike, please, if I am not moving forward, what is going to happen to me now?” I asked hoping for a straight forward answer.


Suddenly Mike’s smile vanished and I wasn’t sure if I liked what might be said next as he looked at me sadly and pointed towards my body. I wasn’t sure what this was supposed to mean but Mike at this point just continued to point and not say a word. It felt like he was ordering me to go back to my body that we were just hovering over but I was defiant. Why would I go back to a dead husk of a child? I definitely didn’t want to spend eternity locked inside of my own body, trapped in its rotting corpse.


Mike then gave me a very deep sympathetic look before touching my nose and once I felt that warm strange sensation before plummeting the foot back into my own body. As soon as I and my body were one once again reunited, I began to feel numb and cold all over. I found that I couldn’t move or say anything; I couldn’t even blink my open dead eyes as they looked up at Mike.


“Ben, I hope that someday we will have the chance to meet again on the other side. Until then, please don’t forget the lessons you have learned here from this wish of yours,” with that last bit of consul, I began to feel myself fade into what felt like a deep, black, empty, and quiet void.




 Everything felt a little woozy as I awoke and found myself lying on the floor. I slowly pulled myself up and did my best to clear the cobwebs from my brain. Slowly as my senses began to return to me, I found a familiarity to the room I was in. It was dark but yet there was a certain smell and taste in the air that seemed all too familiar. As my eyes adjusted some to the darkness, I saw shadows and darker spots marking out objects in the room where what little ambient city light made it inside.


It was the old bar, where I first met Mike. I was confused, why would Mike bring me back to this old bar? Was this some sort of eerie dead man’s dream? If this wasn’t a dream, how was I again alive? I thought Mike said that if I died in my last attempt that I wouldn’t be able to come back, but somehow here I was.


Like I said this whole thing was making my still spinning head, spin even more! I decided for now not to question it but to use it. Somehow I had to help put all the people I affected with my wish back on their rightful paths of Destiny and it seemed that I had already lost at least a whole day.


I tried my best to stand but found that I couldn’t quite do so and fell back to the floor as my wobbly legs gave out beneath me.


“Wow! Whatever magic Mike hit me last with seems to not have worn off completely yet,” I thought to myself.


I really felt strange but oddly familiar, I wasn’t sure if this feeling was caused by the woozy feeling I was having as if I had a little too much to drink, or if it was that feeling that was keeping me from seeing the answer to the oddly familiar feeling I was having?


I am not sure how long I sat there, maybe it was 5 minutes or it could have even been an hour, but eventually I tried to again get up on my feet. This time my head was not spinning as much as a washer during the spin cycle. I was still having some trouble but I found that I could at least walk with no difficulty.


I made my way out of the old run down bar and out of the corner of my eye, noticed the shadow of my car. For a moment I considered trying to retrace my steps from the night when I met Barney and see about him first. I decided against it though as the idea of even going in those alleyways in the dark, scared me to death. Finding Barney was also another matter, I really couldn’t remember the way to his place and had a better chance of getting lost then finding him.


“Well one thing seems to never change in this city, a gutted car can sit forever abandoned and no one will ever pick it up and yet you go past your meter time by 2 minutes and they will be towing it away,” I found myself bitter at this thought.


It of course wasn’t quite accurate but my point was that they take forever to get rid of the eyesores in this city but they will tow anything they know people will be willing to pay actual money to get back! I didn’t have much more time to think about my car though as suddenly an ominous lonely car came down the empty street and stopped right in front of me.


I wasn’t sure if I was about to get blasted by gunfire or what as the front passenger side window rolled down and I heard a familiar voice, but couldn’t quite place it, call out my name, “Ben.”


Not sure what to think but instinctively knew that I could trust the person this voice belonged to, I approached the car and looked through the window.


“Father Caleb? But how did you know where to find me?” I questioned the kind priest who had taken an interest in me since the moment he saw me.


“I promise Ben that I will answer all of your questions once we get back to my office at the church. It has been a very long day for both of us and it will be easier to do this once we are both comfortable and have something warm in our bellies. So please hop in and let’s go,” he strongly suggested.


Father Caleb had several years on me, even as my adult self. Now I wouldn’t say he wasn’t old by any means, but he definitely wasn’t middle age anymore either. I had grown to respect this man in the short time I have known him because he was the one person out of everyone who actually seemed to believe me. Now I didn’t know if he was just coddling me to make it easier for me to talk to him and open up or if he truly believed me, but the point is, he never showed me at any time that he doubted me or my story. So without any hesitation I got into his car and he started to drive back towards the church.


As much as I wanted to wait until we got back to his office, I wasn’t sure if he knew the importance of what I must do. So far I had no idea if I was here before the shooting or after. I had been assuming that I came back after the shooting but now I wonder if I got another chance to prevent it from even happening. If so, I needed to get to the home.


“Father, you don’t understand. I need to get back to the home right away. I may have another chance now to prevent an awful tragedy that will happen. Or if it has happen and you can somehow speak to ghost, then I need to still get to the home so I can see my friends and help them and especially Billy,” I quickly explained.


Father Caleb looked at me and as if a light bulb went off in his head he seemed to come to a realization.


He turned on the inside car lights and flipped down the passenger side visor and said, “Ben, I don’t know how you missed it, but you are not the little boy you were when we first met. Look in the mirror; you will see that you are now once again an adult. All that stuff you experienced hasn’t even happened and because you won’t go back as a child, should now not happen.”


As I looked at my reflection, I couldn’t believe that I had almost forgotten what I used to look like. You know, there were probably pictures of me somewhere in the house if I had wanted to look for them but obviously my wife had removed the ones that were out in open. I guess they had hurt her too much to look at them, as they were a bad reminder of how I betrayed her and her love for me. As I looked at myself and had all these thoughts, I realized for me, it had been over a week since my wish and I last saw my adult form and now here I was looking at it again. Even though I knew it only been a week in time, I found a part of me feeling as if it had been much longer than that.


I realized that Father Caleb was right more than ever, we did need to talk as something more than I thought was going on here. How did I not notice that I was an adult again and why didn’t Mike just not tell me this was going to happen instead of being so ominous? Was it more testing? If so, when would the test end?


Thankfully it didn’t take long to get to the church and soon I found myself sitting in Father Caleb’s office and drinking a brandy with him. I guess that was what he meant when he said something warm in our bellies.


“I am guessing that you have many questions right now but how about I answer one upfront that either hasn’t come to you yet or has and is the most confusing for you. First, remember how we met at the police station that very first time?” I nodded my head as he asked this and took it as an answer and continued. “I had a really strange sense off of you right from that very moment I first met you and up till that time, I had only felt it once before. I then asked you some questions and I told you to even give me a chance to decide whether I believed you or not. Never once during those questions I asked and you answered, no matter how ridiculous the answers sounded to everyone else, did I never believe you. I knew from that moment you had been selected by Mike,” when he laid this on me I was just flabbergasted.


“But Father, how do you know Mike?” I asked very confused.


“Well that answer is obvious isn’t it,” he winked at me.


I understood right away what the wink implied; Father Caleb himself at some point had met Mike.


“Did you have a wish that Mike granted too?” I asked not certain as the father really didn’t seem the type of person that would need Mike’s type of help.


The Priest took a sip of the dark liquid in his glass before setting it down and smiling, and then told me the short version of his experience of meeting Mike.


“I was young and for a while I had been considering pledging the rest of my life to the church. I had grown up in the church and unlike some kids, had a great experience because of it. I was an altar boy and in the choir and as I got older became involved in other areas as well, but I felt that I had a calling to give to others the same way that the church gave to me. There was one thing; did I really want to give up a life where I could possibly have a wife and children of my own just to take an oath of celibacy for the church? My dilemma was one of not knowing for sure what my proper Destiny was. What path would I be the happiest in and do the most good. You see, I felt that both needed a balance because just doing good works would not get me in God’s Kingdom alone and I didn’t think I could love God only if I had doubts in my life that there might be a special other person meant for me. I decided to do what I had been taught to do since a child and prayed on the matter and then took a late night drive. Believe it or not I came upon that same bar I met you at. Even then the building had been long abandoned but for some reason that night, it was brightly lit. I don’t know why but I was drawn inside where I of course met a very intelligent man who said he could give me the opportunity of the lifetime to see a future possible Destiny, that is if I chose one path over the other. I agreed and I had thought the Destiny he would show me would be perfect and you know what, on the outside it was,” The Father paused to get up and refill our glasses, and I had a funny idea where this story was going.


“Don’t tell me, the path he showed you was the one where you do get married and have a family and it looks all great but then as time goes on you find out that there is problems in the marriage, the kids are trouble, you are probably being fired from your job, and everything is going to hell in a hand basket?” I asked him.


He grinned and simply said, “yes and no.” I looked at him confused as to where this was going then and as he took a sip from his glass he continued, “you were right, I did find myself in the future with a wife and children but I had a very devoted family. I even still managed to work for the church. The problem though came with the type of work I found myself doing. Somehow my new path took me in the direction as a lawyer and as a lawyer whose only client was the church, I found myself doing some of the ugliest things I never want to think about again. It was my job to cover up those certain un-named priest that needed to be jailed. It was also my job to hide certain business practices done by the church as well. Don’t get me wrong, I am not naïve in any way and know that this type of stuff does go on in our organization but just because it does, doesn’t mean that some good can’t come out of it as well. I also found that while my family was devoted to me, I did not feel a true spiritual connection in them as I had with God. So trust me, it didn’t take long for me to realize what my true Destiny was and my choice was made easy for me. Mike sent me back and let me know that he left me with a special parting gift. He never once told me what it was, and I haven’t seen Mike since. I eventually found out what the gift was when I met the first person besides me to meet Mike. Like you, I actually remembered everything that happened during his time period before it was reset, so I knew he wasn’t lying, and now you are my second. I have a feeling that I am supposed to help others like us maybe not in big ways, but just the right spots like making sure you were where you needed to be. And now I am going to help you some more.”


I wasn’t sure how he could really help me anymore. Everything had reset at the home so I was okay there. My issues were that I still needed to take responsibility for my actions with my wife and maybe even my boss. I knew I wasn’t going to get my job back and to be honest, I didn’t want it back, but I needed to take the responsibility for my actions that I never did. Of course I knew I probably couldn’t show my face there as he would probably have me arrested for trespassing. So I would have to make do with a thoughtful letter, which was the only way I could think of doing it. If he chose to read it or not, or even believe it, that was up to him, I would have at least attempted to make my peace with my boss. As for my wife, that was going to be a much more difficult battle to fight. I knew right now that I could try and talk till I was blue in my face and she would not give me the time of day because her anger at the moment was just too fresh and strong. She needed time to heal and that meant I had to give it to her. At the same time I still needed her to know I take responsibility for what I did and want to win her trust in me back someday. I needed to somehow find a way to do this without getting a phone hung up on me or a door slammed in my face. Was this the help that Father Caleb was referring too?


“What kind of help do you mean?”


“Well for one, something tells me you sought out Mike in desperation and that usually means only a few things, either you are in trouble with the law, lost your job, or had an end of the world argument with a friend or family member. I know you are not in trouble with the law, so it is either one of the other 2 or maybe both. I also know that you said your parents are dead so that leaves brothers or sisters or other relatives and friends. Something tells me you don’t have any other relatives or you would have gone to them for help and the same for any real true friends. The next thing best to a relative or friend is a lover or married partner who has been scorned. I say that is very high on the list. So the way I figure it, you have a very angry wife that you can’t go home to right now or you lost your job or both,” he easily deduced.


I was amazed at his powers of deduction and figured it probably helped him out with the fact that he has heard it all being a priest and hearing everyone’s confessions. That has probably helped him over the years at deducing what really might be going on in people’s lives and getting them to open up to more than want they might be at first willing to tell.


“You were right, it is C, both,” I admitted. “I don’t know what I am going to do now. My wife won’t talk to me and like you said I lost my job, but to be honest, I really hated that job. You know, I always thought I would like to have a job where I could work with kids, maybe a teacher or something but of course that doesn’t pay enough to live the lifestyle my wife wanted to live.”


I thought about my last statement for a while and then realized something that I had forgotten many years ago. I was the one who promised my wife that we would have a decent lifestyle. I was the one who wanted to stay close to Chicago for more job opportunities but didn’t want to live in the crime ridden areas. I was the one who convinced my wife of that same dream. When we first got married, she talked of moving to a smaller community and if need be, commute to work. A community where housing was safer and cheaper, one like she herself grew up in. I didn’t like the idea of commuting and instead found myself convincing her in my dream. I see now that because of the love for me she agreed to my dream without a fight. Over time she got use to our home and life and not wanting to lose it, pushed me more than I really wanted to be, just to make sure my job was secure.


“Well your right, jobs like that don’t always pay a lot in monetary value, but what they lack in that, they pay infinitely in spirit. If you would let me, the first thing I would like to do is offer you a job. I know that during your short time in the other reality that Mike gave you…” It was as he mentioned this that it suddenly hit me.


“Wait a minute, if everything is reset back to before I was granted my wish, then how do you remember what happened in my reality?” I asked him even though he had kinda already told me earlier, but at the moment, I had forgotten he had already alluded to this answer already.


“That is simple Ben, I remember because one of the gifts that Mike gave me is to remember the events of all events that I am a part of, whether they happen or not. Just as I told you earlier with the first person I met, that person had been given a special thing of his own by Mike, I remembered his time as well before it was reset,” he explained.


“I am sorry, I guess that makes sense in a weird Mike way,” and as I said this, a weird thought of my own occurred to me. “Out of curiosity, did Mike when he talk to you ever have any weird fetish with bathrooms?”


This got a good laugh out of the priest and he tried his best to answer me through his chuckling, “I would have to say no on that one. I have a suspicion that maybe he picked bathrooms for you because he was purposefully trying to make you feel uncomfortable. Something tells me your wish was due to something on the learning curve variety and the more uncomfortable we are the more likely we are to say the truth.”


I thought about that for a minute or two and nodded. It was indeed uncomfortable even all the other ways he appeared to me managed to make me uncomfortable.


Father Caleb seemed to feel or notice that I was somehow satisfied with my answers now and decided to get back on topic to what he was saying, “Anyway, I would like to offer you a job. Truthfully it isn’t one I can give you but I do know that I have a lot of influence over the board and the person who can make it possible for you to step into the position.”


At this I gave him a strange look because I was wondering where he was going with this. Was this even a job I would want? For some reason the priest seemed to think so.


 “Trust me; you are perfect for this job. I know that the wish you made and that temporary alternate timeline never brought up some things about the Boys Home. Don’t ask me how I know this; just accept that I know it. One big thing it did not tell you about was that Mrs. Betty, the Boys Home Administrator has been offered a promotion further into the organization that owns and operates the home. Right now they are looking for her replacement and you of all people have the schooling and now my support for the job. Mrs. Betty is a good friend and I know she will have no trouble accepting you as her replacement. She of course will want to put you under her wing and test and train you, but I don’t see this as a problem. I also know that you have money concerns and worries, for now, just trust me as God has a plan or as Mike would say, the Universe has a chosen Destiny and if we give ourselves over to it, everything will work out in the end.”




As Father Caleb promised, he got me the job and as he also promised, Mrs. Betty watched me like a hawk. I was introduced to her the following morning. I had spent that first night at Father Caleb’s house, otherwise known as the rectory. Fun fact, I thought that the rectory was usually on the same property as the Church but in the case of Father Caleb’s church, it wasn’t. It was a small home several blocks away that not only housed Father Caleb’s own quarters but also a few other priest and also some nuns. All this time I actually thought he had his own home when in fact he shared it with many others. I wonder why AJ never mentioned this when he talked of his visit there. Since this was a place for the men and women of God to live, I was allowed this one night to stay and then told I would have to find living arrangements elsewhere. It turned out that Father Caleb had that worked out as well. He knew of an elderly woman who went to his church that had a room for rent and he worked out a deal with her for meals and cheap rent. The room was small and not much to look at, but after what I had to live in for the last week, I was used to it and it was clean.


It was amazing to see the changes in the Boys Home, that without me not being there made. One change I noticed that very first day I worked. You won’t believe it, I went in with Father Caleb and sat down with him and Mrs. Betty on the proposal of me taking over her job and before I knew it I was working that very day! I of course wanted to check in on AJ, Tyler, and even Peter.  As soon as I had a chance, I told Mrs. Betty I would like to take some time to get to see the place and maybe meet some of the boys; she thought this was actually a great idea. So off I went to check out our old room. I knew the boys didn’t have school today due to something about the teachers, so I figured that AJ would either be in his room or in the game room.


As I came to the closed door, I remembered how much we hated it when people just barged in the room, so I decided to give the boy some respect and knocked on his door and call out his name. I got no answer so I figured he must be downstairs after all. I figured that it wouldn’t hurt to take a peek and so I opened the door and sure enough the room was as I remembered it the first day I arrived. The room did have a smell of urine in it and I was sure that poor AJ must have wet the bed the previous night. As hard as I could, I couldn’t remember if he had wet the bed that very first night I was there or not. Hell even if he was dry, maybe he slept better due to the fact that I wasn’t constantly up and down wet. Because of this he would have definitely peed his bed. I can’t really be sure. All I know was that he was once again in a room by himself. It then occurred to me that tonight was the night when Steven was supposed to show up, the question would be, would he come here since Officer Grant only thought of Father Caleb because of his intervention with me. I decided I couldn’t take any chances on this and got out my cell phone and called the Father.


As soon as he answered I, in a panic stated, “Father, we forgot all about Steven. He and his mother along with her boyfriend are supposed to all be arrested later this evening and if you don’t intervene somehow, Officer Grant will throw Steven in a jail cell instead of calling you.”


“Calm down, don’t worry about Steven, Officer Grant will call me. Trust me when I tell you that his contacting me over Steven had nothing to do with you,” as usual, father Caleb had a calming effect on me and I was able to breathe as his voice soothed me.


With me calm we talked for a few more minutes. We spent most of the time with him asking me how things were going and trying to assure me that there was no need for me to stay there until Steven was safely there at the home. I kept arguing my side of what ifs but he kept reminding me not to fight Destiny. In the end I agreed to finish out my shift and check in on Steven tomorrow when I start my next day. I never did get to really say anything to AJ, Tyler, or even Peter for that matter as they kept themselves pretty occupied in the game room up until the end of my shift and I really didn’t want to disturb them on my first day by outing anyone in particular. So I basically introduced myself to everyone and told them if they ever wanted to talk, to please feel free to, that my door was always open.


Like I promised, I was there that very next day. I came in a little early before my shift was to begin and decided to head straight for AJ’s room. I knew they weren’t in the game room as no one was in there and I figured he was probably up in his room right now getting to know Steven. My guess was that they were swapping stories about how they ended up there at the home. Sure enough, as I came up on the door to the room I could overhear Steven telling his tale of how he ended up at the home. Again I knocked in respect for the boys and for a second I heard what sounded like panicked noises from inside the room. I couldn’t help laughing to myself as I realized that I must have just startled them both as they had been both so intent in their story that they had not expected my knock at the door.


A few second later, AJ called out, “come in.”


Steven on the other hand didn’t say anything and I could see why as I entered the room. Even AJ hadn’t noticed yet as he was still trying to get over his own fear. I had zeroed on it right away though as soon as I looked over at Steven and saw the telltale wetness. Poor Steven in his fear, had peed his pants, and it made me realize something else that has changed without me being here. Without me and my GoodNites, Steven would have had no way to hide his constant accidents that he had while here. This meant one of two things, either one, I could help him cover the accidents up, or two, I would have to help him tell the truth and get properly diapered much sooner.


This is one time when Mike could do me a favor and give me a super power, one that would help me get this boy’s school records now. Then that is when I realized that maybe I kinda did in a way, at least in Steven’s case. I knew more about him then he knew about himself, and maybe I could use that to get him to admit to me and Mrs. Betty his full toileting problem.


“I am sorry about startling you boys this morning but I need to see Steven down in the office,” I explained and then out of respect for the boy, I helped block AJ’s view as Steven got up and left the room.


First I talked alone with Steven and told him that I knew about his problem with his daytime wetting and soiling. That I was just informed by someone who knew him about it and that he needs to come clean with the home about the problem and how serious it actually is so that we can make him as comfortable as possible for the time he is here. I of course was lying but he didn’t need to know that and it was the only way I knew to get him to admit the truth. There was some crying and some anger but in the end he admitted to it and when Mrs. Betty came in for her shift, he told her everything. When she found out how serious his condition was, she realized that there was no way she could wait for his assigned Caseworker to show up and then make a decision. She instead placed a call to social services on Steven’s behalf and gotten temporary permission to put him in GoodNites during the day and the cloth diapers at night until he could be properly seen by a doctor. With that problem taken care of, I felt a lot better.


As surprised as I was at the things that changed, I was even more surprised at the ones that didn’t change. Then again, maybe I shouldn’t as Mike said Destiny always finds a way. For instance, as adamant as AJ was about not wearing a diaper, even without me there to help convince him to try and start wearing them again, our other friends took up my slack and still did the job. He is now very happily diapered each night. Peter still went on his diaper rampage but instead of me to pick on he went after the returning Alastair. Peter still went through his very short lived good phase when he thought he had a chance to go live with his brother. When that didn’t work out, he attacked Alastair in the middle of the night. How do I know this? I gotten real close to the boys, enough to actually gain their trust that I wouldn’t go running off to Mrs. Betty. Maybe it was because they also knew I was going to soon be running the place and they hoped that I would change some of the policies that have been protecting Peter. In the past when I was the kid being picked on by him, I was like them and wanted him gone more than any of them. Now after getting to know more about Peter and his history, I decided to try something new with him. Over time, I have been trying to spend time and give Peter positive attention. It was my hope that I could develop a close bond with him and maybe with that bond show him a better way through compassion.


As a little kid it was hard for me to sometimes realize that Peter was just a scared 14 year old boy himself. Yes he looked large to a lot of the kids in the home but a good many of them were small for their age and those that were bigger than Peter were for some reason intimidated by his ferocity and anger or were pacifists and not true fighters. As an adult, I found myself looking at Peter in a new light. A kid who had been pushed around and probably bullied a lot in his own life. One, which had to learn at a young age to defend himself, or die trying. One that has allowed fear and anger to control him ever since and except for a glimmer of a moment, doesn’t even know what love feels like. To be honest I think the State made the right choice there because when I was reading some of Peter’s personal filesI learned his own brother, the one he wanted to live with so bad, had personally beat him up so bad that he put him in the hospital once. So after the attack on Alastair, I decided to up my game with Peter. I will get to that in a bit as I need to talk about some other things first.


I never forgot my penance agreement. The very first night I got home from my new job at the Boys Home, I wrote my letter to my old boss and the next morning slipped it into the mail. I never expected to hear back from him again, so I was quite surprised when I got a call from him a few days later.


“Benjamin, I read your letter, to be honest I don’t know why I did, but it piqued my interest as to why a person I shamed so badly and fired would write to me. If it was a threat, I felt I needed to know so I could call the police and contact my lawyers. If it was something else, I wanted to know why you would bother to write me,” he started right away after I said hello.


He seemed to have a lot on his mind so I decided to not interrupt him and just let him have his say.


“When I did read it, I was shocked. I couldn’t believe that you were willing to tell me all of this knowing that it would never make a difference in your job. What I found most intriguing though was you admitting that the one good idea you ever had in our company actually came from your wife. Is this true?” he asked.


I sighed then respectfully and truthfully responded, “yes sir, we were sitting around talking the night before I was telling her about the new account we were trying to get but I couldn’t think of a good pitch. The very next morning she showed me the pitch she had come up with. She said it was an idea that came to her and she worked on it before coming to bed. I knew right away that it was perfect and I knew that I couldn’t just go in to you and tell you my wife came up with the idea as it would make me look lame. So I just took the credit and my wife didn’t mind as it got me a better paying position.”


I see, and you are probably right, at the time we probably would have laughed you out of the job. Now it is a different time and I am in a need for real talented people with skills like your wife’s. If she has those types of ideas all the time and it isn’t a one-time thing, I would love to have her come work for me. Do you think she would take a job offer from me?” He asked.


I really didn’t know how to answer this so I did my best, “to be honest sir, I haven’t spoken to my wife since she found out about the affair. Someone from the office called her the day I got fired and told her before I could even get a chance. She does have a job right now but even working full time I know she would never make enough to keep the house. If she takes the job I am sure she could at least pay the mortgage…”


I was interrupted, before I could finish what I was saying, by my old boss.


“Oh there would be no problem with that, I would pay her your salary plus a twenty percent increase,” he answered quickly.


“Well she doesn’t have the college education, will that be okay?” I asked him.


“As long as she can deliver I have no problem with that.”


“Well I guess then it is up to her, I say offer her the job, I think she will love the opportunity. I believe she always had more passion for advertising then I did anyway. As for me, I found my calling,” I happily told him and with that we said our goodbyes and that we hoped that we could someday see each other again as friends.


A couple weeks after that phone call, my wife reached out to me for the first time since she kicked me out and called me. She was ecstatic over her new job that she had just started and already pitched her first idea.


“They loved it Benjamin.”


“I am happy for you Sarah, now you won’t have to worry about losing the house. I do hope you know that I am sorry, and that I do know that it is my fault that our marriage is in the trouble it is in. I took you for granted and should have never cheated on you. I was a terrible husband and a bad lover who couldn’t give you what you wanted most, children,” As I said this last part I could hear Sarah weeping softly into the phone.


“Benjamin, you were not the only one to mess up this marriage, I did too. If I hadn’t been so bad tempered and taking my problem out on you, maybe I wouldn’t have driven you into that other woman’s arms. I have had some time to think about this and your old boss, my new boss, he told me what you wrote to him. He made me see things in a new light. He was also the one that suggested that maybe I had been punishing you long enough and that maybe it was time for healing. Now I am not saying that I am completely okay with the fact that you cheated on me, what I am saying is that I am willing to test the waters and see where it goes and if it is meant that we are to get back together than we shall,” as she explained this I felt joyful at the thought of a second chance but I knew that she hadn’t told me something and I had a feeling at this point she was not yet ready to do so.




Remember how I told you that even as an adult that I had an occasional bedwetting problem. Normally it occurred when I drank in excess and came home drunk. Occasionally it also happened other times, possibly due to stress or just plain tired out. Well stupid me actually woke up after only my first week living with Miss. Keller, the old lady, in a pee soaked bed. I am not sure how Miss. Keller figured it out, must be she has the nose of a hound dog but she was pounding on my door not more than 5 minutes after I woke up, asking if I was okay in there. I had to admit to her that I had wet her mattress but was relieved when she took no offense to it but suggested that maybe I should wear a diaper at night. You know what, I respected her wishes, after cleaning up the mess I made, I decided from that point on that I would wear a diaper just in case. It wasn’t my bed I was sleeping on and I didn’t want to ruin it. I had to diaper myself and found how much I actually missed having someone like Kelly doing it for me. Somehow though, I didn’t think she would want to diaper a man old enough to be her father.




I was sad the day when Steven left the Boys Home, but at least he was going to be with family. His uncle was very happy to finally see his nephew for the first time in years. He scooped the boy off the ground and hugged him hard to himself, as if he was afraid that if he let him go for just a second he might lose him again. Steven had been at the home for almost 2 weeks before all the paperwork had gone through and his Uncle was able to fly back to the states to collect him. He had hoped that the process would have gone faster but due to the legalities, like him living currently outside the US borders, it made things a little more difficult. It also didn’t help that Steven’s mom also tried to fight him being taken outside the country. I was glad to see in the end that her rights over Steven were stripped away and full custody was given to his uncle. As soon as Steven’s Uncle had custody of him, it meant that he was able to get the paperwork through to get his passport and everything he needed to go to Germany with him as soon as he picked him up. Now with everything done, here he was.


In the short time that Steven was there, he had made a lot of friends. I knew that just like myself, that they would all miss him terribly. Mrs. Betty hugged him goodbye and reminded him to be a good boy. Kip took one of his large black hands and clasped it around both of Steven’s small, pale white in comparison, hands.


“Steven, you are a good boy, don’t you forget that,” stated Kip as he winked at Mrs. Betty. “Now when you get over there to Germany, just promise me that you won’t forget about us over here. You can always contact us through the internet and if you want, I will give you a list of emails you can use to contact any member of the staff here at the home.”


“Aaa… Thanks… Cool, I would like that very much,” stammered Steven as he didn’t expect this sudden kindness.


The whole soggy bottom group was there as well to say goodbye, including Scott and Jeffery who had finally opened up to one of the boys about being wetters. I am not exactly sure who but I know that they must have because suddenly a few days before this, they were a new addition to the group. Before this, these boys were loners and hardly talked to anyone. I was glad to see them finally open up to someone though and become a part of the group. Unfortunately they had no idea that Steven was leaving in a few days, for that matter no one did. We didn’t find out until the day before it happened, that was all the warning we had. I can understand why his Uncle would want to get him ASAP and so neither I nor Mrs. Betty tried to stop it from happening right away. Too be honest I don’t think we could legally even if we tried.


Each member of the group had a few moments to say goodbye and some got emotional. Every time when one of these emotional events happened, I couldn’t help myself and found that I too was quickly feeling sad and emotional. AJ was the worst as his goodbye ended with him sobbing as he felt Steven was one of his best friends he had made, that was his own age in forever.


“Steven, I feel like I will never have a friend like you again in my life! It isn’t fair that we became such good friends and you get taken away and now we will never see each other again,” bawled AJ as he hugged his friend for what he thought was the very last time.


Both boys began crying in each other’s arms and in the end we had to pry them apart. It wasn’t pretty and a very upset AJ ran crying from the room. I felt just as bad as AJ but as an adult and not the kid who got to know Steven, I had to be more professional. When it came to my turn to wish him goodbye, I managed to control my outward emotions, I am not sure how, but I did.


I shook the young boy’s hand and put a false smile on my face as I started, “I wish you only good luck Steven and I hope you remember to make sure you change your diaper regularly. You don’t want to end up getting diaper rash do you?” I asked him.


Of course his uncle had been filled in about Steven need for diapers. At first he was a little confused of why a boy his nephew’s age would still need diapers all day long, let alone at night, but came to understand more after we filled him in on some of the stuff that happened to Steven over the years. Plus we had since received the medical results back and found that there were some medical reasons for Steven’s problems and that it may take some time and patience along with a few operations to fix the problems. The operations themselves were not without risk and that Steven’s issue could possibly be resolved without any operation at all if given enough time. I didn’t know what his uncle was going to do but I hope that he wouldn’t risk the boy’s life just to take a chance to help him be without diapers. Then again, it wasn’t my call.


Now the thing that not only shocked Steven, but also everyone else is when Peter came to say goodbye. Now as I said, I had been trying to work with Peter and while he seemed to like the fact of the attention I was giving him, it didn’t seem to be helping in the way I wanted which was making him not a bully towards others like Alastair and the other diaper wearers. The last couple days though I had been working hard with Peter and even took him on an outing away from the home for a few hours on one of my days off. It was the first time I was able to get permission to take Peter alone from his caseworker and Mrs. Betty. We ended up going to a movie and grabbing a bite to eat afterwards. All Peter could talk about on the way back to the home was how much fun he had.


As we pulled into the Boys Home lot and parked I turned to Peter and spoke from my heart, “you know Peter, I know you had a rough childhood and deserved better…” at this point I reached over and hugged him, “and I care for you a lot. I just want you to also understand that all those boys you pick on have also had rough lives. Instead of hurting them, you should be protecting them from others who don’t understand the life that you and the other boys here in this home have had to live. Also, we would be able to spend more time like this together.” I informed him, not as a bribe but as an incentive.


I can’t remember exactly what Peter said that day, something to the extent that he was happy and would do anything to have more time like this. And he kept his word from that night on. The guys probably didn’t really notice anything other than that Peter had just left them alone for a couple days but when it came to the day when Steven was to leave, Peter made it known to them all that he was trying to be a better person.


Peter stuck out his hand for Steven to shake and before he could even stop him from doing so, Peter just grabbed one of Steven’s hands and started to shake it as he tried his best to get what he had to say off his chest.


“Steven, I know I haven’t been a good friend to you or your friends while you have been here. In fact, I know I have been a total ass! I just hope that you can please forgive me. I am not asking you to forget what I did; I know that I can never ask that. I am just asking for another chance to know you as a friend even if it is just a few minutes before you leave. I rather we part as friends than enemies and who knows, maybe one day we will have a chance to meet up again in the future. If we depart as friends now, it will be easier to talk to each other again if we do see each other in the future,” explained Peter.


That was something that gave us all a smile to see two enemies become friends and then Peter apologize to each and every other one of the Soggy Bottom gang. It really moved my heart to see Peter like this. I hadn’t told Peter anything yet because I still needed to work things out with my wife, but I was thinking of adopting him. He really needed someone in his life and for some reason I felt like Destiny was speaking to me. It felt like it was telling me that this boy belonged to me and my wife, that maybe this boy was what we were missing in our lives. Yes Peter had rough edges and social problems but I knew that underneath it all was the heart of a kind soul, if just given the chance to come out and shine.




A month after I started at the home, Mrs. Betty felt I was ready to fully take over, and handed over the reins of the Boys Home Administration over to me. By this time my wife and I had been on a few dates and had talked about letting me move back home. I had told Sarah about Peter and she wanted to meet him so I arranged it so the next outing we did we would do together. She met me at the Boys Home and as it was her first visit, just waited for me down stairs while I was busy with a last minute issue that came up. Peter was with me as he was nervous about meeting my wife alone and I had no problem with him tagging behind me. I had sent one of the boys to let her know it would be a few minutes before I would be able to leave.


When I finally did come out to greet her and introduce her to Peter, I found her and AJ laughing and seeming to be in the middle of a conversation. AJ noticed me right away so whatever conversation they were having ended abruptly as he excused himself and headed upstairs.


“I am sorry Sarah for the delay; I guess AJ was keeping you amused though?” I asked but didn’t really expect an answer as I went on. “This is Peter,” I pointed to the 14 year old standing next to me who suddenly seemed weirdly shy.


Sarah held out her hand which Peter in turn took and my wife gently shook as she addressed him, “hello Peter, it is so nice to finally meet you. I have heard so much about you. I hear my Husband has become something of a mentor of yours. I would like to also help out in that as well and get to know you.”


Peter just gave her a goofy smile and continued to shake her hand and nod his head as she talked. I couldn’t help but laugh at the sight as this was not the same Peter I got to know when I first came to the home. I am so glad that it seems that Peter no longer exist anymore. With my wife’s help in this, Peter will be able to be taken out even more and will have more one on one mentoring. I knew what Peter needed and craved, someone to care for and love him. That first night was perfect and Sarah fell in love with Peter.


Once we had a chance to talk in private after returning Peter to the home, she told me that she agreed that the biggest issue in their marriage was that there were no children. She stated the stress on her was outrageous and even though both of them wanted them desperately, she felt that secretly I had wanted them more than she did. She was afraid that I would leave her if I ever learned the truth. As I said, we were eventually tested to find out if there was anything medically wrong with either of us. My test came back fine and both of us were present to hear the doctor go over them. When my wife’s results came in, I had to work but I was going to take time off to go and be with her like she was with me. Instead she convinced me to not take any time off from work and she would just let me know.


Now you may be asking why we didn’t get the results at the same time, I asked that very same question when I found out that my wife’s were not ready when we went in for mine. The doctor informed us that there was some trouble with the testing and that it was going for further analysis. This was the reason why are test came separately. As for my wife’s results, I never questioned her when she told me that they came back normal and the doctor said that we just need to keep trying. It turned out though, her test came back showing that she could never conceive and she was too afraid to tell me so she instead lied. So there we were all that time trying to have kids when we couldn’t. My wife knowing that she couldn’t conceive and getting angrier and angrier at me because she thought I would leave her once I learned the truth. Weirdly in all that time while trying to conceive, neither of us considered the adoption option. It was this frustration and anger that eventually made my wife start to withdrawal from me and then me to start looking at other women. If we had been open and honest about our feelings to begin with, none of that would have happened. I was just as to blame. I did after all cheat on my wife but I also never tried talking to my wife when she stopped talking to me. We should have had a proper discussion about this issue years ago and we might have adopted. She might have also realized that I loved her more than anything and as long as she was mine, I would do anything for her.


She brought up another topic as we finished talking about what are plans were with Peter, which were for now to just spend as much time we can with him and as soon as we settle own family situation we would look at what it would take to adopting him. The new topic she brought up was AJ.


“AJ was such the perfect little gentleman as I waited for you,” she informed me. “He was very funny and a smart boy for his age. He tells me that he thinks you are a good Administrator and are fair with the boys there.”


I chuckled hearing that AJ had given me such good praise. I wasn’t sure if AJ was trying to use my wife to get on my good side or if he truly meant what he was telling her, I chose to believe the latter.


“AJ is a good kid, I would love to adopt him too if I could but I wasn’t sure if you would want to take him considering a problem he has,” I tried my best to explain. “Besides I am not sure if we could afford more than 1 kid at this point as these kids need special attention and programs designed for their needs,” I added.


Sarah looked at me in confusion as she asked, “what problem does AJ have? I thought he was perfect and seemed socially maybe better than even Peter,” I was about to say something here but before I could she held up her hand to stop me. “Now I am not saying that I wouldn’t want to adopt Peter as I still think he is a good boy who deserves a chance to have a family, but I also think AJ does too.”


I sighed, “AJ is a great kid, but he is a bedwetter and I know how you feel about the issue when it comes to bedwetting. You have never accepted my occasional problem with it, do you want to put up with the problem from a kid the age he is who wets on a regular basis and may even soil himself in his sleep. He may even have a few daytime accidents, can you put up with that as well?”


Sarah seemed a little shocked by this revelation, and while I might have painted AJ’s problem worse than it actually might have been, I was trying to make sure she was prepared for what could be. I really didn’t expect that AJ’s wetting problem to get worse if he were to come live with us unless he were shamed for it like I was by my wife. Then it could get worse and we might have the soiling issues.


“Benjamin, I am truly sorry for saying the mean things I have said in the past about your problem. Now I do wish that when you do go out and drink, that you would wear a diaper, I would be willing to put it on you. I would rather do that deal, than with being wet on during the night and cleaning up the mess. As for AJ, it would be the same rule, unless he wants to be sleeping on the same wet pissy sheets every night because I will not be washing sheets every day,” she declared with the assumption that AJ was going to already be one of our family.


“Where would we put AJ?” I asked as I wasn’t about to give up my office and I didn’t think she was going to give up her sewing room and this left only one other spare room in the house which would go to Peter.


She looked at me as if I must be stupid and answered, “they can share the spare room together.”


“How, there is only one bed in there and not enough room to put another one plus another dresser. I also don’t think it would be appropriate for them to share the one bed,” I interjected.


Sarah smiled as if she knew something I didn’t causing me to stare back at her. For several seconds we stared at each other before she finally broke out laughing.


“I am sorry Hun, but I don’t understand why you didn’t think of it. If we do adopt the boys or even just one of them, I would suggest redoing the spare room to fit more to be a boy’s room. In this case we can take out the current furniture and buy more boy friendly furniture. Once you take out the queen bed, which will give the room a lot more space. We can then put in a bunk bed with maybe a full size bed on the bottom for Peter. Maybe even find a full size bunk bed so both of them have plenty of room, and a dresser that would fit each of the boys. These are just some of my ideas I have,” my wife suggested to me.


I had to admit that it did sound like a good idea but again we were rushing things. We still hadn’t made a decision on Peter yet because we still hadn’t yet decided on our own relationship. From my wife’s point of view, everything was going to work out and to be honest it was up to her at this point when I came back home. Because I knew I loved her, I was going to rededicate the rest of my life to her and never cheat on her again. This meant it was up to her to accept my rededication to her and to accept me back fully into her life as her husband. It seemed that we were close to that point, yet something still was holding her back from committing and I was hoping now that she met Peter that she would be ready to commit.




It took another month and several more dates along with many outings with Peter before my wife forgave me of my past sins and allowed me to come back home. As for the outings, they continued. We even arranged a few outings with AJ by himself and a couple with AJ and Peter together, just to see how they would be together in a setting away from the Boys Home. We found that with the boys in our lives that we were our best selves. We looked forward every time we picked them up and took them out somewhere, whether it was together or separately. We actually took them for a whole day one time and went to ‘Six Flags Great America’ which just opened for the season. Just in case I decided to take extra clothes for both boys and diapers. I never once suggested diapers for AJ and I figured Peter would be fine but I wanted to be safe than sorry, or maybe I should say prepared. It turned out to be a busy weekend and the lines were long for the rides. As we were a good way into the line AJ had to pee. We had been standing in line for over an hour already and according to what the sign had stated when we first entered, we had about a two and a half hour wait, which meant we had around another hour or so to go. If we left the line now we would have to go all the way back to the end of the line and force Sarah and Peter to wait for us until we finally were able to ride.


I looked at the squirming boy and could tell that he had probably been already holding it for a bit now before telling us and sighed before asking, “AJ, why didn’t you tell us you had to go before we got in line? I had specifically asked both you boys if you had to go because of how long the line was.”


“I am sorry Mr. Fuller but I didn’t have to go when you asked, I didn’t even notice it until about twenty minutes ago. I don’t think I can hold it much longer,” he pleaded as a tear started to roll down his cheek.


My wife then looked at me and softly suggested, “Honey, why don’t you go ahead with Peter on the coaster and I will take AJ to the bathroom. We will then either find something with a shorter ride time to ride and then meet you or wait until you get off. We can keep touch on our phones to let each other know where we are at and what is going on.”


It sounded like a good idea but AJ suddenly peed his pants at that moment. I didn’t learn until the next day that he let his bladder go on purpose as he didn’t know if he would make it to a bathroom anyway and he didn’t want to lose his chance to ride the roller coaster. I couldn’t believe that he actually admitted the truth to me but he said he felt he could trust me and he said that he truly felt he would have gotten out of line and lost his chance to ride the coaster for nothing as he already had been dribbling a little in his pants and he didn’t think he could hold back his bladder more than a couple more minutes. This was my wife’s first chance to see AJ’s problem up close.


It turned out that the coaster was AJ’s first and that was why he was so excited at the chance of riding it but when he finally got strapped into the car and was going up that first hill, he was thinking the opposite. Peter was next to him with hands up high telling AJ to put his hands up to but he was too scared to do so. Sarah and I were directly behind them and while I couldn’t see their faces, I could hear what was being said between the two of them up until the coaster started down that first hill, and then all sound was cut out due to the rushing wind and the scream and the roar of the coaster on the tracks. It wasn’t until the ride was over that my wife and I found out what Peter already knew, AJ peed his pants again and soiled them this time out of fear.


AJ was really upset and highly embarrassed at what he did and it made me happy that I was prepared for such an event. We had put our personal stuff in lockers up front and I grabbed the bag I packed the supplies needed. The bag not only had diapers and a spare set of clothes for each boy, it also had wipes, powder, and cream. I was going to clean AJ up and found one of the few family bathrooms located on the property so we could have plenty of room and privacy to do the job, but Sarah asked me if she could do it. I am sure AJ wasn’t liking this one bit but I knew he had to get use to her eventually if we did adopt him.


I gave her the bag and whispered to her, “there are diapers inside of it and that if you can, please try and talk him into wearing one but please whatever you do, do not force him to wear it. It has to be his decision to wear the diaper no matter what, even if we think it is for the best. If you do it right, I think he will decide to wear it.”


She winked at me, told me she had it and walked inside the bathroom. It was a bit before she re-emerged with AJ who under close inspection was definitely padded. I was glad that he chose to wear the diaper and we spent the rest of the day in the park with no other incidents. He was able to pull the diaper front down enough to pee when he needed to so he didn’t use the diaper intentionally, though by the end of the day the diaper was heavy with urine for those times he wasn’t able to make it to a bathroom. Peter as I figured, was perfectly fine but like I said, I wanted to make sure because I did see Peter wet his pants once before in a time that never actually happen. Since it was late when we left the park, Sarah changed AJ once more into a clean diaper and this was in case he fell asleep on the way home. He managed to keep that diaper dry, at least until we managed to get back to the home.




We knew almost right away that our lives were better with the boys in them and that they completed us. So, after talking about it after like the 2nd week after I moved back home, we decided to look into what it would take to adopt both Peter and AJ. We found out that there were several steps we had to get through and be approved by the State before they would even consider our petition to adopt either child. Because of all this, we decided not to tell either boy because we didn’t want to get their hopes up only to get them crushed if for some stupid reason we were denied. I had already seen what one denial had done to Peter and I did not want to go backwards with all the work I had done with him. For some reason the State wanted us to become qualified foster parents first before considering our application but the problem was that we didn’t want to open our home up to just anyone, we wanted these two boys which was making things harder. We eventually found a good lawyer who cost a lot more than our last one but well worth it.


Now I might need to take a moment here and explain that at this point we were not actually trying to adopt both kids but were trying to seek the ability to do so. Since the State has some strict policies on how they deal with adoptions of children that our wards of the State, we have to jump through all of their hoops and prequalify in a sense before we can even attempt to adopt the boys. Now while we are trying to prequalify, we also do have a petition in front of the court asking them for the right to adopt both of the boys and in some cases this process can take as long as a year or more but has been known to happen as fast as a few days when the State is motivated. In our case, we had been trying to adopt the kids now for around 4 months.


After just over 6 months since my whole experience with my wish and 4 months of trying to adopt both Peter and AJ, we finally got our first bit of good news. Our lawyer had informed us that he believed that we would be seeing a court date any day now and that he believed that there was no reason that the court would not judge against allowing us to move forward in adopting both boys. He went on to say that he didn’t see any reason for the court to delay the final court date that would actually make the boys ours and there was no reason to believe that they would deny us there either. We couldn’t believe that we were finally looking at the possibility of the end of this battle and actually winning it!


This would be good for AJ as things had gotten worse for him. Seeing him on the weekends you might not notice it but I of course saw it as I saw him at the home almost every day. Even though Peter was there as a friend, AJ was lonely as one by one all his real close friends moved out of the home and out of his life. Steven had of course left first with his Uncle. Scott and Jeffery were the next two to leave the home as they were placed into another foster family.


The day after I took over as Administrator of the Boys Home, I was informed by Cody’s counselor that his biological father had been found and had not known about Cody’s existence. He had a family of his own, but did remember the woman he had gotten with a few years before he met his now current wife. He was told about Cody’s problems and didn’t care as he was amazed with the fact that he had a son he never knew he had. In the end he was given custody of Cody.


A couple weeks later Alastair was actually adopted by someone that I didn’t even know was trying to adopt him until a few weeks before the adoption went through. It was a similar situation with what we were doing with Peter and AJ. In this case, the person trying to adopt Alastair was a former foster parent that wanted to keep him but they moved him out of her home when she decided to sue the State for custody. In her case it took her over 3 years to win her case and to be able to adopt Alastair. For another month it was just AJ and Tyler, and of course Peter.


Then came the day when Tyler found out that he was going to be allowed to go back and live with his Mom. He had been in the system for quite some time but it wasn’t because he had no parents. His father was in prison and his mother who had been declared unfit. She had to go through a program and prove to the state that she was capable to take care of her children. Oh that is right, I did mean children. It seems that Tyler has siblings but due to the nature of the foster care system, none of them have been able to stay together. It has been a while since any of them have even seen each other, I found out and that is the reason why Tyler doesn’t really talk about it. Now he is finally back home with his mom and brothers and sisters, who has passed all of her checks and did everything she was required to get her kids back.


As I stated, Peter remained his friend, but I knew just from being the little kid Ben how AJ was feeling. Yes Peter was a friend to him but it wasn’t the same as a friend like the ones who made up the Soggy Bottom gang. With the boys in the gang like Steven and Alastair and Tyler and so on, he could open up more about his own problems, like his bedwetting issues. Sometimes it is hard and even uncomfortable to talk about things you don’t have in common, and I believe that is how AJ felt with Peter.


His sadness wasn’t the only symptom I saw from his loss of his friends, there were others as well. He began to withdraw a lot from the other boys and spend most of his time in his room. I couldn’t help but also notice that his wetting problem worsened and according to the notes he was having several night soiling issues again. So I knew that this whole thing of all his friends leaving him was hurting him quite a bit. Now I had been keeping in touch with many of old gang, including Steven as I wanted to make sure the boys were doing okay. I made sure that every time I heard from them I would exchanges messages back and forth from them and AJ. It seemed to perk up AJ’s mood anytime he heard from one of his friends.


As for Peter, he did whatever he could to help keep AJ happy but at the same time he didn’t allow AJ’s bad mood to get him down too. They both looked forward to the weekends as we now took the boys to our home for the whole weekend when they have been good. We had already turned the spare room into a new boy’s room with the bunk beds that my wife suggested and even allowed the boys to help pick out the bed and dressers that they wanted. Peter though made it clear that he was not sleeping under AJ no matter if he wore diapers or not, he was adamant that he wasn’t about to take a chance of getting rained on with pee. Luckily he didn’t say this in front of AJ as I am not sure if he could in his current mind set have handled what Peter said. I decided not to argue with Peter over this and gave him the upper bunk as it would be easier to change AJ on the lower bunk anyways. With setting up the whole room though, I think maybe Peter might have been getting an idea of what our plans were but if he did know, he never said a word to us. He just acted as if it was the treat that it had started out to be.


My wife quickly took over the role of diapering AJ the nights he stayed with us and in the morning cleaning him up. She never scolded him for wetting or even when he messed his diaper. I think in a way she enjoyed these moments knowing she could never have a baby as it allowed her to have a chance to feel like a true mother. Both of us knew that once AJ became comfortable living with us that his soiling should stop and his wetting become less frequent. Until then, she was happy to take care of him. There were also times out of the blue where she would come into our room after putting the boys to bed and insist I too wear a diaper to bed and put me into one. I am not sure why, but almost every time I woke up the next morning, without fail the diaper would be soaked. It was as if I had been somehow programmed to wet every time I wore a diaper. Otherwise I seemed to be accident free, as I swore off all alcohol after my run in with Mike and I felt that I didn’t need it in my life.


Anyway, it was the day after we received the news from our lawyer when Mike paid me a visit. It was early Friday morning and we would be getting the boys that evening for the weekend. I had gotten up and had just finished my morning shower and was now shaving when the reflection of my face was replaced by someone I thought I would never see again… Mike.


I gasped as Mike face filled my mirror and caught me off guard causing me to accidently cut my face with my razor.


“Mike… what are you doing here?” I asked unbelievingly while grabbing tissue to stop the blood pouring from the cut.


He gave me a solemn look before finally speaking, “Ben I have some very sad news to tell you. You will be getting a call in a few minutes to let you know of a tragedy. I know you thought that Destiny meant for you to adopt the boys and for you to all be a happy family but that is just not the case. Sometimes what we think is Destiny is not always. Other times Destiny is fickled and if the person chooses to go against their Destiny path, it reshapes their Destiny into one that would not have been if they had just allowed the original path to happen.”


At this point I was confused and had no idea what he was saying other then maybe that I wasn’t going to be able to adopt the boys after all which I didn’t like the sound of it. Was he trying to say that I was trying to force a new Destiny instead of just allowing Destiny to happen? I wasn’t sure at all what he was saying.


“Mike can you just tell me what you are getting at without all the riddles or do I have to wait for this phone call? What tragedy are you talking about? Are you saying we won’t be able to adopt the boys after all?” I asked each question after another without even waiting for an answer to the first before I went on to the next.


Mike just sighed and allowed me to calm down enough before he continued, “depression causes us to do things that normally we would never do. Trust me when I tell you Ben, it is not your fault. The boy was depressed and he made a decision in a moment of weakness. Was it the right one, was it his Destiny to die at such a young and vulnerable age when things were starting to maybe look up for him even though he didn’t yet know it?”


At hearing what Mike was saying, I started to put two and two together and my heart poured out for my young friend. AJ had been in such a dark place these last few weeks and no matter what I tried it seemed like I couldn’t get him out of it. What made me feel worse was the sting of Mike’s last words, about how he didn’t even know yet how he was about to be adopted and maybe if he had, he would have not have taken his life.


“I know what you are thinking Ben; I know that I made you thoughtful about the things and decision you make. How each of those decisions affects others around you, but Ben, I swear to you, you are not at fault here. You did what you thought was the responsible thing. You remembered how badly Peter had reacted after what happened with his brother when he tried to get custody of him. You didn’t want to see that happen again, so you decided to wait until you were absolutely sure before you told either boy about the adoption. You wanted to make sure that the adoption was going to go through first before you told them. You had no reason to believe something like this would happen,” Mike tried to reason with me.


As I listened to Mike, I found myself wanting to speak at this point as I suddenly interrupted, “the thing is Mike, my wife and I would still have had to tell the both of them at some point before anything was official. Yes we would have had a better chance at knowing we were going to be able to adopt them but until we had the final hearing we would not know for sure. Still, the boys would have to be told before the hearing as they are both required to be present there. They would certainly be asked whether or not if they want to live with us or stay where they are. I am sure the boys would pick us as they seem to truly love the time they spend with us and can’t wait till our next time together. What I would be afraid of is that the Judge could decide to not go ahead with the adoption for some odd reason or some person out of the blue could come forward and contest the adoption at the very last moment. So actually I would still be taking a chance even when it came time to tell them, so why give myself that excuse for this time period when I decided to wait?” I shouted out and fell to my knees bawling.


Mike looked at me silently as I cried, Never once did he berate or make fun of me. He just let me cry and when I finally looked back up, I think I saw a glistening of a tear running down Mike’s sad face. Neither one of said anything about the other crying, I just wiped the tears as best I could from my face and allowed him to continue as I could tell he had more he wanted to tell me.


“Ben, you said it yourself; you wanted to make sure as much as possible before you told them. The process you were going through was to find out if you could even adopt them and if it was possible and your chances were good that you would win an adoption case, you would then tell them. You had a decent lawyer who knew what he was doing. This lawyer is not going to lead you wrong, if he says you are going to win, then you are going to win,” Mike reminded me of not only how good my lawyer was but also the fact that I was still trying to wait to tell Peter and AJ until I was absolutely certain I could win custody and therefor adopt them both.


Even with that knowledge, it was still hard to live with the fact that if I had told AJ that maybe he would be alive right now. Maybe if I had seen this coming I could have told him and saved him from taking his life, but I didn’t get the chance. It did make me wish that AJ had a way to contact me and talk to me before he had taken his life, maybe if he had; he wouldn’t have gone through with it. I just found it as another reason to blame myself as I didn’t give him a way to contact me in case he ever needed to in an emergency like this.


Mike interrupted my thoughts as he once again told me, “this is not your fault, don’t blame yourself. You think that things may have been different if you told him you were going to adopt him, were there for him, or done something different. The thing is, you have no idea if that is the case at all. The boy may have still made this choice even if you had done any of those things, as I said already, he was not thinking rationally at the time. He was hurting and upset. At least now, for him, his pain is no more. You did at least do one thing for him before he died, you gave him a chance to experience acceptance, love, and joy and that is more than what some people get in their lives. So please don’t allow yourself to stop loving. I hope you and your wife will continue to the other boy as you plan and maybe over time you may want to add more to your family. For now I know you need to accept that this one is now in a better place,” Mike preached to me.


With that said, Mike vanished and to this date, I haven’t had another visit from Mike since. I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Now whether I see Mike or not, I do know for fact that Mike has taken an interest in my life and those around me it seems. I am not sure if it is his way of making sure I stay on my path of Destiny or if he is truly helping others that are close to me. One thing I am sure of, I will see Mike again, the day I die, I know Mike will be there for me to help me cross over. You may ask me how I know this. My answer is simple, I just do!


The promised phone call came and it was nothing more than a flurry of words of a hysterical Mrs. Biggs telling me that one of the boys just threw themselves in front of an oncoming semi and was now dead. I was crying as I told her that I would be there as soon as I could. I then called my wife and let her know about the news and we both cried for several moments together over the phone.


It wouldn’t be until I arrived at the Boys Home that I would find out that AJ was alive and my heart was filled with happiness. I for a moment thought that maybe Mike was playing some awful trick on me or it was some new test. All I knew was that I was grateful to see AJ standing there, shaken but alive. That is until I realized that there was still a dead boy to deal with.


As I walked down to the corner where the bus stop was at and where the accident happened, I could see it blocked off by the police and an ambulance. There was a crowd of people being held back from the scene by yellow police crime scene tape and I made my way through the crowd and past the tape and was only stopped when an officer noticed me.


“I am sorry sir but you can’t come back here. You need to go back behind the taped off area.” He commanded.


I ignored him as I noticed Father Caleb standing over near the intersection.


“Father,” I yelled out to him and gratefully he saw me and pointed me out to one of the officers he was with who then waved me over.


Both I and the officer holding me back took it as permission for me to enter, so I walked up and over to Father Caleb. On the ground was an obvious covered body of a teen or small adult. I looked at the Priest questionably, wondering if he could tell me what happened. When he did, I felt my legs give out and if it hadn’t been for the Father and one of the officers, I would have collapsed.


The body was that of Peter. I couldn’t understand, why would Peter kill himself? It had been AJ who had been depressed and in a dark mood, not Peter. In fact, Peter had been in an upbeat mood and rather jolly lately.


What I found out from the Father shed the light on why Peter did what he did. Yesterday afternoon, Peter’s brother was killed during a robbery gone wrong. It made the news last night and Peter found out. There has always been something between Peter and his brother that seemed to drive his emotions and this time was no exception. Last night he became very depressed and somehow managed to hide how bad he was feeling from the staff. This morning at the bus stop, without saying a word to anyone before doing it, he just stepped off the sidewalk and out into the path of an oncoming semi. A truck that was traveling a good 45 miles an hour, 10 over the speed limit, one that had a green light. Peter had no chance of survival, he was killed on impact.”


I found myself wondering why Mike allowed me to think it was AJ that was killed and not Peter, then again I was the one who assumed; he never put a name to who was actually killed. Once again I was tested and once again I had failed. This time my failure meant that not only did I but also my wife would have to go through heartbreak of losing a child not once but twice. Yes we didn’t lose AJ, but we thought we did we is just as bad as losing him and as soon as we find out that we didn’t loser him, we get hit with the fact that instead we lost our other boy. That is not a very nice thing to find out. There is something even worse than that, having to tell my wife. How do you tell someone something like this? You always hear people joking about, what do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news, but this is no joke! I can’t treat this as a good news bad news thing as it is just terrible news!


I didn’t wait long to tell Sarah what really happened as she was totally devastated to the point that she took the rest of the day off and the rest of the week to make funeral plans. She had went through two loses that day and even though she gained one son back, she still had lost a son in the end.




Sarah and I went ahead and continued our adoption of AJ. She continued to take the death of Peter bad as she had grown close the teenager and couldn’t believe that he took his own life. We both attended Peter’s funeral and even paid for it so that he could be properly buried and had a headstone. In the end the State even allowed us to bury him as Peter Fuller. The tombstone went on to say when he was born and the date he died and that he was a - Loving son, brother, and friend. Below that it also said – Died way too young!


We sat down with AJ that very night after we found out about Peter’s death. Both Sarah and I cried with him over what happened with Peter and we told him how we were trying to adopt them both. We were not completely surprised when AJ told us that he and Peter had suspected that we might be trying to adopt them but they were not sure.


“We didn’t want to jinx it in case you were so we decided not to say anything and figured you guys would say something eventually,” AJ explained.


I found myself chuckling a little as I said, “here we were, both afraid to say anything to each other, because we didn’t know how the other side would react.”


When we got the State to approve us the right to put our last name on Peter’s Tombstone and death certificate, we talked it over with AJ. We helped him understand that when he saw the tombstone, that he was one of Peter’s brothers, if not legally, then in spirit. The funeral was hard for us to get through but we had to as our court date was coming up. This court appearance AJ was not required to be at as it was just to go over whether or not we were qualified to seek custody of a child that is a ward of the State. Basically whether we can adopt said child in the petition we have with the court.


As our Lawyer had told us, it was just pretty much a formality. We walked in; the judge asked some question where our attorney spoke mostly for us on our part. We had a home study done by the state, and several other requirements that we were also required to do, were presented to the judge. Some of these requirements were like psychological exams and testing, to make sure we were decent type of people to be around and to raise children. Finally the Judge asked each of us some questions and in the end she seemed pleased with all she heard. She was very sad to hear that one of the boys we had been petitioning to adopt had recently passed away and I was glad that she didn’t ask how he died as I really didn’t want to have to go through the pain of telling the story of how Peter took his own life.


“I see no reason to prolong this any longer. I say we meet back here next Monday, same time as today. I order that the child, Andrew Jackson Curtis, be here with his caseworker, if his caseworker can’t be present, then I need to be notified by the end of business tomorrow,” the judge ordered and with that, ended the session.


The last part was of course put towards the State representative who was from the Child Welfare department. I of course would also place a call to AJ’s caseworker who was all for me and my wife getting custody of him. My hope was that she would be able to make the time to be there at court on Monday as I didn’t want to delay it any longer. The whole court session lasted about an hour.


As I had promised myself and my wife, I placed a call that same afternoon to AJ’s caseworker. I was glad that our court case had been 10 am in the morning so I was able to get to work by 1pm. The first thing I did as I got in my office was to look up the caseworker’s number and call it.


It rang a few times and I was afraid I might get her answering service then I heard a soft, “hello.”


I didn’t even realize I was holding it until I let my breath go in a silent but sudden gush that would be heard as interference over the phone. Someone on the other end might think I was in a wind tunnel or walking outside in the wind.


“Hello Mrs. Carter, It is Ben Fuller calling you from the Boys Home. I am not sure if you have heard yet or not, but my wife and I had a court hearing today over whether or not we were qualified to adopt AJ. The court decided in our favor as our lawyer told us they would and have set the adoption court date on Monday,” I explained.


“I am glad you told me, as no one has gotten to me about it yet. The State offices can be slow at times when it comes to sending out the required information. I would be lucky to have it in time for the court date if you had left it up to them. I do have a couple appointments on Monday but I do know how important this is to you. What time is the court date?” She asked.


“It is at 10am but I am not sure how long it will take. It took us about an hour for today’s session,” I said, not certain if it was going to work with her schedule.


“It sounds like you are going to be seeing the same judge so I doubt she will waste time going back over your qualifications of being a parent and I don’t think she will have any reason to block you as an adoptive parent of a child in the States custody at this point. I think if she were going to do that she would have done so at your session today. The only reasons I can see now would be that she would block your adoption with AJ for a particular reason. Now as his caseworker, I will be there on your side and will have nothing but glowing remarks for you and your wife. I don’t think AJ would say no to being adopted,” at this she paused and I took this as she wanted me to answer her.


“Sarah and I both talked to AJ and asked him what he wanted. He was very clear with his answer, he wanted to be adopted and be a Fuller before he turned 12,” I answered her question.


I don’t know how, but somehow I just knew she was smiling on her end of the phone as she continued, “it sounds to me that you have me as a good support witness to help you for your side. You have a boy who loves you and wants to live with you more than anything. Then there is this judge, who I believe wants to give AJ to you. Unless someone was to contest the adoption at the last minute, you will be taking your new son home with you that day. As for the time, I will be there.”


After talking to AJ’s caseworker, I felt much more at ease. Probably for the first time since Peter’s death I actually felt that things were going to work out for the best. I told AJ about what his caseworker told me that night as I visited him before he went to bed. That night was the first night I ever diapered him and I found out how hard it was to put on one of those damn cloth diapers. I knew that if he was going to be my son, I had better learn how to put on his diaper in case my wife wasn’t around to do so. We both agreed that my wife was much better at it then I was but I promised to continue to practice and get better at it. He of course agreed to be my guinea pig. Then again when he would move in with us, he wouldn’t be in cloth diapers but disposables and they would be a lot easier to put on, at least I was hoping. I also noticed that AJ’s mood seemed to be a little better and I hoped that once he became our son he would become his old happy kid self.


When Monday came around AJ was so nervous about the court date and not knowing how long for sure it would take, Kelly talked him into wearing one of the disposable diapers that were still kicking around. When Steven left, he wasn’t able to take all of his due to weight limitations and his uncle donated what he had left to the home. This meant that the home had several disposable diapers in Steven’s size. I didn’t know about the diaper until much later.


Unlike the previous court session, our case wasn’t heard at the time it was scheduled due to another case that ran over its time. It was about forty five minutes later before our case was called. Everything went like I was told it would go.


Mrs. Carter, AJ’s caseworker, got up on the stand and was sworn in. She then told everything she knew about AJ during the time she had been his caseworker. She then talked about Sarah and me and how much we have impacted AJ’s life for the better. Basically telling the judge everything she told me she would. The judge of course asked her some question but seemed pleased by the answers that Mrs. Carter gave.


Once again, both me then my wife were called up to the stand and were questioned. There were a few repeat questions but most of them focused on how we felt about AJ and how we were prepared to take care of AJ and his special needs.


I guess what really surprised us was when AJ’s mom and oldest brother were each called up one at a time to give their reasons to contest the adoption. I didn’t know if this was something last minute or if this was something that the State knew all along. AJ’s mom went first.


As soon as Mrs. Curtis was sworn in and asked by the judge to give her reasons for not letting us to adopt AJ, she began, “let me first say that I don’t really know the Fullers so I can’t speak on what kind of people they are. What I can say is that I know I made mistakes and I know I had my parental rights stripped away from me, but it is my hope to earn them back one day and to have my children back again.” She stopped at this point and pointed at the older boy who had been seated next to her, “Chuck is my oldest and now that he is 17 was able to declare himself an adult and actually come back home and is now helping me. I am hoping with his continued help, that I will be able to prove to the court once and for all that I am a fit mother. The problem is, if you allow this adoption to go through, you will take away my chance of ever having my boy again.” At this Mrs. Curtis began to weep on stand.


It was an act of emotion that even I found hard to not consider. How would I feel if I were in her place? Then again, would I ever allow myself to be in her place? There I was, judging again. I had no right to judge anyone.


After the Judge dismissed her she called Chuck Curtis up to the stand and sworn him in. Then as with his mom before him, He was asked why he thought the adoption should not be granted.


He squirmed a minute and looked at his mom before he sighed and explained, “my mom already has told you mostly the reason why. I guess my real reason behind it though your honor is because I would really like to be a family again someday. Do you know how long it has been since I have seen my brothers and sister? I can tell you your Honor that it has been so many years now that I barely remember what they look like. This is the first time I have seen AJ in 6 years. He was, I think, 5 years old the last time I saw him. I wish I was old enough myself and had the means to get custody of both my brothers and sister, but I know that I am not old enough. I just hope that you can consider that my mom is seriously trying to work on getting custody back and if you take AJ away, she will never have a chance to get him again.”


Like his mom’s testimony, his also made a very emotional impact and at that moment I was glad this was not being judged by a jury but by an impartial Judge. Still, I found myself studying the judge’s face after both of the mother’s and her son’s testimony to see if she showed any emotion at all to what they said and even though she seemed well practiced at keeping her face as emotionless as possible, I thought for sure I saw a flicker of emotion on it for a moment during both of their testimony’s.


There was a lot more questioning that went back and forth obviously. Our lawyer questioned both the mother and son for quite a while and showed us that while they were quite heartfelt; the reality was that there was no likelihood that the State would ever give her children back. As for her son, the chances of him being able to get custody of the children were very unlikely. For one, he was living with the mother whom couldn’t even be allowed to come in contact with her younger children according to the court. Then there was the fact that he didn’t have a job. He of course was not even 18 years of age and didn’t have a high school diploma. There was a plethora of other reasons that our Lawyer went over. From the way he acted, he seemed very prepared for these two witnesses so I guess they were not surprise witnesses after all, just no one thought to tell us about them.


By the time the Judge got to calling AJ to the stand it was now after 1pm and we had been in that court room for about two and a half hours. The Judge quickly went over what it means to be sworn in and the difference between telling the truth and a lie and after AJ said he understood the Judge smiled at him.


“AJ, I know as a kid that sitting here for all this time has probably been very hard for you. I know you probably want this to just be over right now?” She asked him and he nodded his head but didn’t say anything. “Okay, I am going to make this very simple for you. I am going to ask you only one question. Once you answer that question, I am going to dismiss court for a while so you can go and take a break from this courtroom and get something to eat. Once you are done eating, you will come back here and I will let you know what I decide. I will let you know though, that I will consider what you want, when it comes to making my decision. Do you understand?” She asked.


“Yes ma’am,” he answered back without thinking, but then realized his mistake. “I mean your Honor.”


“The Judge smiled at AJ before asking, “you have now not only heard how much the Fuller’s want and love you, you have also found out today for the first time probably in years that your own mother still wants you. My question for you is if your mother was approved right now to take you and all your siblings back, would you rather go and live with her, or would you still rather go and live with the Fuller’s.”


I could almost see AJ scowl as I heard the Judge ask him this question. I remembered in the time that never was, how he felt about his family and it wasn’t a very nice warm fuzzy feeling.


 “Your Honor, I would have to say that I would rather live with the Fuller’s. I would never want to go back to my family. I can’t even call them a family as they never were one to me. I was treated so bad by not only my parents but also by my older Brothers and sister. I don’t even know why they would want me back other than to treat me like the family whipping dog again!” He then looked at the Judge and pleaded, “Please let me be adopted by the Fullers. I know they want me and I want them. They are the first adults that have ever really wanted me and I love them.”


Again I saw a flicker of emotion in the Judge’s eyes. Like the Judge promised AJ, court was dismissed after his testimony and we were told to be back by 3:30pm. This gave us an hour to eat and our Lawyer told us about a place not too far away and offered to pay. We invited AJ’s caseworker to come as she was responsible for him until the court decision was made, as we wanted him to come as well.


Since the place was within a couple blocks, we walked. This allowed us to also stretch out our legs. AJ walked between me and my wife holding each of our hands. Every so often we would pick him up off the ground just high enough to swing him back and forth. You would think by the way he was giggling that he was much younger than his 11½ years of age.


It wasn’t until we reached the little bistro that he got me to bend over so he could get up to my ear and whispered, “uh… Mr. Fuller, I kinda had an accident at court.”


“What do you mean,” I whispered back as I didn’t see any sign of wet pants or smell poop.


I have said it before and I will say it again, it sometimes surprised me how smart this 11 year old was at times. It was as if he could tell what I was thinking by looking at me.


“Oh, I guess no one told you at the home. Kelly kinda talked me into wearing a diaper to court today. She figured with how stressed I was that I would be better with it. I also guess with my track record lately she figured it was better to be prepared than not. I am now glad that I took her suggestion as I wet myself in court,” he whispered his explanation to me.


“Do you think it will be okay until we are done with court for today?” I asked because I really wasn’t prepared to deal with a dirty diaper and had no way to clean him up from it and no underwear or a new diaper for him to put on in its place. He looked at me uncertain and I could tell that he had no idea whether or not if he could wait or not, which caused me to sigh before whispering, “okay, let’s go to the bathroom and I will check to see if it will be okay or not. Hopefully it will be okay to last a few more hours max.”


I told the others that we would be right back that we were going to take a bathroom break. I told my wife what I wanted in case we didn’t get back in time for our turn to order and AJ also decided on what he wanted as well. We then headed back to the bathroom and were in luck that it was a single person one. We both entered and I locked the door behind us.


I didn’t want to take too much time in there so I quickly undid AJ’s pants and checked his diaper. It was a little swollen in the front but I knew from experience that these diapers could take more pee than what was in them right now. I really didn’t want to take him out of the protection yet since it wasn’t over and if things didn’t go good, who knows how he might react.


“You look like you will be okay for a while buddy but why don’t you try and pee in the urinal for me,” I prodded him.


He walked up to the urinal and tried to pull the front of the diaper down enough to let his boyhood out but found that the diaper was on him to tight. I had to carefully remove one tab so that he could pee and even then I guess he didn’t pee that much. I went ahead and re-taped the diaper back in place and told him to wash his hands. While he did that I quickly used the urinal myself and washed my own hands before we joined our group who had placed our orders.


As promised our lawyer paid for everything but considering what we paid him for our case, I am sure a meal is covered somewhere in the cost. Basically our meals consisted of whatever specialized sandwich we ordered, a bag of chips, and a fountain drink. Now the sandwiches were not just some ordinary sandwich, they were something that your mouth would love you forever just to have a bite of. Before we knew it, it was time to start heading back and I started to feel very apprehensive about what the Judge could say.


In just a few words she could destroy not only mine and my wife’s dream but also an 11 year boy’s dream as well. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to hear bad news at this moment. The closer I got, the more dread I felt. I think my wife was feeling the same as she was squeezing my hand pretty tightly as we approached the court house. AJ was running around acting goofy at the moment as he was given a little freedom to burn off some energy before going back into the courtroom. I think in his mind that he totally believed what the Judge had said and was going home with us, but I don’t think he truly understood that there is a lot more that goes into the decision then just his wishes. I think in his mind he heard the Judge tell him that if he told her that he wanted to live with us then she would let him. What he seemed to not understand was that she stated that she would consider what he wants when it comes to making her decision but that did not mean that she would 100% decide in his favor of what he wants.


It wasn’t long before we were all back in the court room. The Judge cleared her throat as she flipped through her notes for a moment before starting to speak, “this has been a very emotional day for both sides. I find myself wanting to do the right thing for the child. Now in our state there are certain laws when it comes to children and custodial rights of them. Like most states, we try to do everything we can to unite child with their biological parents or family. In this case the parent’s custodial rights were terminated a while back and the child was not only made a ward of the State but was considered adoptable at that time. Still, I heard the emotional plea of Mrs. Curtis and her son Chuck and while AJ may not like the idea of living with them…”




He started to cry hysterically and would have ran from the courtroom if it hadn’t been for Mrs. Carter grabbing hold of him and letting him sob in her chest. The Judge looked his way and I was afraid she might say something and make it worse but instead she decided to act as if the interruption never happened. I was wondering where this was going and almost felt like screaming too but knew that would not help my case at all.


“AJ might not like the idea of living with them but he remembers things from a perspective of a 5 year old boy. I know that things were bad for him back then and that was why he and his siblings were taken away from his parents and they would never be returned to them unless they could prove to the court that they could be better parents. With that said, I placed some phone calls to find out just how both his parents were doing. No one here told me that AJ’s father was in Prison for murder and has a life sentence so he is definitely out of the picture. As for his mother, I got a very bad report from the person she is supposed to report to. She has not even been going to her parent groups or keeping any appointments with the state case worker assigned to her. I also found out that Chuck ran away from the boys’ home he was in and found her. He then had himself recently emancipated with his mother’s help and the State decided not to waste their time with him since he is now 6 months away from being 18. All of this makes me very hesitant at even considering the option of allowing any of the remaining children let alone AJ to be placed into their mother’s custody. This means that I can’t see fit any reason to hesitate and delay this adoption for even a possibility of one day the mother changing her ways. Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Fuller, it’s a son,” at this she cracked a smile at her own joke.


My lawyer was clapping me on my back and my wife was hugging me. As for AJ, I don’t think it quite got to him what happened right away as he was still sobbing into his caseworker’s bosom. I could see that she was talking to him and then his head snapped up and there was a big wide grin on his face. He wiped the tears away and looked at the Judge as if he didn’t believe her.


“I am a Fuller now?” He asked with a little disbelief.


The Judge smiled and answered, “well, if you want to be a Andrew Jackson Fuller instead of Andrew Jackson Curtis, I will take care of that as well and have your official name changed in the court documents and can even issue a new birth certificate with that name if you want. Everything here will be sealed due to your age so once you have your new documentation; that will be you.”


AJ’s answer was simple, “I want to be a Fuller.”


AJ was jumped up out of his seat and before anyone could stop him, he ran over to us and hugged both me and my wife.


“I love you, can we go home now.” He asked as he had enough of the roller coaster emotion of the courtroom.


And as our lawyer promised, we took our son home that day. It was a good idea I had left him in that diaper. When we got home, we found out that AJ not only soaked the diaper, he had messed it. He admitted that it had happened when he had gotten upset and thought that the Judge wasn’t going to let us adopt him and was in fact going to send him back to his mom. Boy was I was glad when my wife took care of that diaper.




About a month after he became our son, we were eating dinner together around the dining room table when out of the blue he suddenly asked, “I was wondering if it would be okay if I could call you Mom and Dad?”


Ever since I had known him as an adult and since he met my wife, he had always addressed us as Mr. and Mrs. Fuller. We had both hoped that once he had been adopted he would feel more comfortable calling us mom and dad, or at least something less formal. Even though he didn’t really like his parents, we knew he already had a mom and dad and didn’t know how to approach him on this subject. In the end we decided to leave it up to him to do whatever made him feel more comfortable.


Sarah looked so happy and burst with joy as she replied, “Of course baby, we would love it if you call us mom and dad. We would have told you sooner but we didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable about it.”


I of course agreed with Sarah though I didn’t refer to AJ as baby. Baby was Sarah’s term of endearment for AJ and she used all the time. The first time I heard her use it I was surprised that AJ didn’t rebel against the use of it. Instead it was almost as if he enjoyed being called it. I could tell that he did enjoy all the special attention that my wife gave him and never argued with her if she decided that maybe he should wear a diaper during the daytime for one reason or another. Usually due to long travel time and the possibility he might fall asleep.


I am not sure but I have a high suspicion. We had figured that after AJ had been with us for a while his accidents should lessen after he started to get used to being in a new place and being able to talk with his friends on a regular basis over the internet on Skype. He talked mostly with Steven but he talked with others as often as he could. Instead of his accidents lessening, they were actually getting worse. He would poop in his pants and not tell anyone he did it and we wouldn’t know until we finally noticed the smell. When asked why he didn’t use the toilet or at least tell someone he did it instead of just sitting in it, the answer was always the same. ‘I don’t know.’ You know, the go to answer that all kids give for any question that is asked of them. We have taken him to the doctor’s to have him looked at and they couldn’t find anything wrong with him. Their suggestion was to take him to see a child psychologist and in the mean time to put him in GoodNites so that he won’t ruin his underwear. We made an appointment and put him in the GoodNites as the doctor suggested. He wasn’t peeing during the daytime except for rare times, just pooping which seemed to be daily now.


Well the GoodNites turned out to just encourage him to go further. I guess in his mind he now had a diaper on him and that meant he could pee in it. So now he was going through a bunch of GoodNites because he was flooding them. My wife told me one day that she was positive that we didn’t need to talk to the child psychologist, she had found out the reason for AJ’s strange behavior.


“I had a long talk with our son and he finally opened up to me about some of the things that have been going on. It seems that he really loves the close connection we have made during our diaper changes. He also likes how I baby him, not that I do it in a way to make fun of him but in a way to make him feel loved and special. He is afraid that if he stops having accidents or has less accidents I will stop babying him. He has also over all this time in a weird way found some comfort in a diaper that he never thought he ever would. He said that if someone had asked him a year ago if he would ever like wearing and using a diaper, he would definitely say no. Things though have changed for him it seems and he is now finding a new love for diapers and the thrill of wetting and messing them. Not only that, he then gets to go through the loving experience of being cleaned up and put back into a clean diaper. Now he has said he doesn’t want to wear them at school except maybe for a GoodNite just in case. He also said that he probably wouldn’t want to wear them around friends or at other people’s houses that were friends of his. Other than that he would love the fact of wearing them at home all the time if allowed. I told him I would talk to you about it. Personally I don’t see any harm in allowing him to wear a diaper for the time being if it makes him feel better. I think he will of course grow out of it as soon as he begins puberty but for now, what do you think?” She asked me.


I smiled and started off with a joke, “well, you are the one changing him so I don’t think it matters much to me.” I almost burst out laughing as I saw her scowl at me and decided to be more serious, “okay, I have no problem with it. If it makes him happy then I say let him do it, but I do say that if he doesn’t grow out of this phase by 13 then he should be responsible for earning the money to pay for his own diapers and when they are gone he needs to be a big boy until he can buy more.”


“I think we can discuss that at a later date. I hope this is something that he will do for a while and once he realizes that he will have our love no matter what, he will go ahead and give up the diapers,” she stated and from that point we never talked openly about AJ’s fetish again, at least to this day.




AJ is going to be 13 next week. He has been our son now for about a year and a half. My wife has informed me that she is certain that he still hasn’t started puberty, and in the time we had him he has grown about an inch in height. It is kind of embarrassing for him to be the shortest kid in his class but at least he gets good grades as both my wife and I work with him on his homework. No we don’t do it for him but we don’t just send him to his room and make him do it by himself. We try and help him with it as much as we can. We want to make sure he understands everything and isn’t just flipping through pages to find answers or guessing. Sometimes I have to bring him to work with me as I didn’t like leaving him alone by himself all day and my wife wasn’t going to be home either. In the summer we found programs to keep him busy during work hours. Basically they were daycare set up for older kids like him but set around fun activities that they would enjoy and keep them busy. It was more expensive than a normal babysitter but still cheaper than quitting a job.


Getting back to now, it is hard to believe that a year and a half has gone by already. I could see it already, I was going to look up one day and AJ was going to be heading off to college. That was how fast time seemed to be flying by for me. AJ was still wearing diapers, but due to the fact that he was spending a lot of time with his friends he had made around the neighborhood, he didn’t wear diapers as much during the day time as he did in the beginning.


In the first few months he really didn’t take the time to meet and make friends in the neighborhood because he was shy and wanted to stay close to us. He eventually became more comfortable and before winter came, he ventured out and actually met a few other kids in the neighborhood. Of course he never accepted any invites of staying overnight but he never refused to go to a friend’s house when they offered. If given the chance, the very first thing he would do would be to sit on the bed and check and see if it had any type of waterproof protection. If the bed had a pad but he couldn’t tell for sure if it was a waterproof one, he would wait until the friend left the room and check the actual pad. In every case he was disappointed. In one case he was actually caught in the act and the kid called him a weirdo. He never talked to that kid again after that incident and luckily the kid never brought up how he found him checking out his bed.


Even with that one bad experience, AJ did make several friends and because he was too embarrassed of them finding out, he never wore his diapers around them. This meant his diaper play dropped dramatically as my wife had expected. From that point to this day, AJ always ask to be put in a diaper as soon as he was in for the day. He also continues to wear them every night. We knew all of this because as parents that actually talked openly to our child, he never felt like he had to hide anything from us.


I know that I talked about making him pay for his diapers if this continued after the age of 13 but my wife wants me to wait a little longer so I am going to give him until he reaches puberty. I am guessing he should reach it before 14 unless he is really delayed. For now, we just love him for who he is and the fact that he is a part of our family.




I found myself one day staring into the bathroom mirror. No it wasn’t to see if I could get a glimpse of Mike. It was the fact of how old I was starting to look that got my attention. Believe it or not, a small part of me, at that moment, missed the little me that I got used to seeing as my reflection. Then again, I think it is fair to say that there is a small part in us all, that wishes to return to our childhood. Trust me though, after having to relive it a second time, it only reminded me of how bad the first time was. Oh you may be saying that my childhood wasn’t that bad but I am here to say that you got to be kidding yourself. As children we are bred to grow up as fast as we can so we can leave the nest. A proper parent wants to even help that child succeed by making sure they are ready for the world. That is why we educate them and prepare them and keep them safe until they learn to keep themselves safe. It isn’t until that child becomes an adult do they fully realize the magic that they have lost. This is that small part of us that wishes to be able to experience our childhood once again, it is not really the childhood we want to experience though, it is the magic. Now what I have found is that for me and my wife, we can experience that magic through the eyes of our child AJ. Yes soon he will reach the age where magic will be lost as he grows further into his teens, but I believe he is special and will find a way to hold onto some of that magic longer than some of us. Why do I say this, because recently I found that he has become a very good writer as he has shared with me and his mother a fictional story he wrote, one where he met a mystical and magical man name Mike.


The End

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17 hours ago, Jayme said:

Wow that was a gigantic cliffhanger to leave us at.

Wonderful chapter

Thank you Jayme, I am glad you were able to find my story over here and I hope that I didn't disappoint anyone with the ending of it. I continued with my tradition of always killing off someone in my story though I did play around with who I was actually killing in this story. I wonder how people thought about this?


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I loved this story! I thought it was an incredible tale that completely sucked me into the characters. I was amazed at how a one page story could take me three days to read but it did and I loved every minute of it.  I would love to read more of this even though it did come to an end. But if not more of this one, then your next story for sure.

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On 5/28/2017 at 2:26 AM, CDfm said:

I loved this story! I thought it was an incredible tale that completely sucked me into the characters. I was amazed at how a one page story could take me three days to read but it did and I loved every minute of it.  I would love to read more of this even though it did come to an end. But if not more of this one, then your next story for sure.

Thank you, I am glad you enjoyed the story. I may go ahead and post All alone here and its sequel. I also have a short story called Halloween Baby I can post here as well.


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I would like it if someone could please move this story to the completed stories section for me.


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I can't believe this,.. this has got to be, hands down, the best story I have EVER read. I would give you a million likes if I could...

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