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Rejection and Hopefully quiting forever!


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After facing rejection from someone today after telling them about being a diaper lover. I don't ever want face rejection like that again. She spoke to me as if I was a rapist of somekind.

I understand its meant to be next to impossible but I just can't accept this part of me anymore, after this. I'm going to quit completely or face being alone forever. :(

I going to try my best. any tips on quiting ?

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Chances of you quitting are slim to none to be honest... Many try but very, very few succeed and even then it is questionable how successful it is since chances are rather than "getting rid" of it they are likely just heavily repressing it which is a very bad thing to do. I can't think of hearing about anyone who quit on a long term basis without doing something extreme that is only going to cause them harm either in the medium or long term.

I mean, I don't want to sound harsh but rejection happens. It is a part of life and can happen for any reason at all... When telling someone about this you have to be prepared for the worst possible reaction. If you are prepared for that then you can tell them, if you aren't then don't tell them.

I mean... If you were gay and you told someone and they reacted badly would you immediately book a trip to a "pray the gay away" camp and try to repress it? If you were a Manchester United supporter and you told someone who was a Manchester City supporter and they reacted badly would you switch teams?

You can't change yourself based on others reactions or you will never be happy with who you are. Rather than seeking to cut ABDLism out of your life, perhaps you should work more on accepting who you are and loving yourself rather than being what other people want you to be.

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Some really helpful words from all of you. I'm still a bit lost on which direction to go in, my head feels like its spinning. But once it's settled down a bit I need to make a choice on which I should do.

I understand its part of me and would probably be healthier to accept myself. But the other half is how unaccepting people

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On ?3?/?21?/?2017 at 8:31 AM, Solomon_Wishes said:

After facing rejection from someone today after telling them about being a diaper lover. I don't ever want face rejection like that again. She spoke to me as if I was a rapist of somekind.

I understand its meant to be next to impossible but I just can't accept this part of me anymore, after this. I'm going to quit completely or face being alone forever. :(

I going to try my best. any tips on quiting ?

Solomon

You just didn't find the right gal to share this with. I know from my husband it is not something easy you can do by just quitting. It caused him a lot of pain, stress

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  • 2 weeks later...
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I know of people who have just tried diapers and ended up buying their own case. It's not just a lifestyle that is desirable to a hand full. It's something that everyone can try and decide if they like it. It's just an enjoyable addiction that once hooked, will forever haunt you. I've had a desire to be in them since I was out of them so it might be more prominent in some.

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I agree with everyone here so far. Acceptance isnt always easy, but its definitely the healthier route. The best tips I could give you right now is stay active on this site. Develop your own support system. It's always better to have that support in person, but if you can't find that then a forum is certainly better than nothing at all. It's also an option to seek out a therapist to learn ways on how to accept yourself and accept that not everyone will be able to understand.

It's also true that you likely will not be able to quit. Eventually you'll give in to wearing again, which will make you feel much more guilty. This guilt will pile up, and as Elfy said, you may resort to something extreme as a result. You're punishing yourself for being who you are. Right now you're becoming a victim of abuse, except you're your own abuser. Just because someone didn't understand doesn't mean it's wrong.

A lot of people will assume that you're a sexual deviant, or even a child rapist, if they're not properly prepped with information. It's just a natural assumption that one would make given the lack of information. Many people will sort of prep their significant other through idle conversation for quite some time before they break the news to them. That way when they do, the person will be more apt to understand and accept it. And if not, then it's just not meant to be.

And you're not risking being alone forever. Not at all. You will likely be spending more time single, as you will have to be a little more picky about who you date. Which all in all is not a bad thing. It's good to be choosy about who you let in, but it's bad to create an indestructible wall. And there are tons of people out there who would accept and possibly even participate. I know for a fact that quite a number of people on this site are happily married, or in stable relationships.

I'm actually an example of one of those people. I didn't know anything about the DL side before. I'd known about ABs from studying psychology, but that's really it. When my boyfriend told me a couple years ago that he's been a DL as far back as he can remember, the thought of sexual deviance or child molestation couldn't have been further from my mind because I knew him well enough to know better. After a LOT of talking and asking questions, I was able to understand fairly quickly. It took a little more time to fully accept it, but after a couple months I did. Then I got curious and tried it for myself. And here I am a couple years later wearing a pull up this very moment, and I couldn't be happier and our relationship couldn't be stronger.

I'm by far not the only one with this experience, but I'm here to tell you that they're out there. You just have to stay patient and keep looking. My boyfriend spent a pretty long time staying single because there was no one he felt that he could really trust or relate to. And he didn't want to waste his time on someone that wasnt worth it to him. But patience and persistence does pay off. It can be a tough road leading up to it, but in the end it will be worth the travel.

But whatever you decide to do, just make sure you don't just toss this side of you into a dark corner and lock it away and leave it to rot. It will mutate and fester there. Everything needs nurturing. If you want to try and "get rid of it" although I still don't recommend it, you need to figure out a way to do it without mistreating that part of you. Don't think of it as shoving it angrily out the door. Give it a hug and say it was nice knowing you, and say goodbye... if that makes sense. I don't believe it will work, but if you're going to move forward in that direction, do it calmly and without resentment or negativity. If you do, it will come back to haunt you with a vengeance.

No matter what road you take, neither will be easy, but only one has the potential to result in true happiness. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck. And I'm so sorry to hear that you've gone through something so hurtful. I cant imagine how you feel right now, but I hurt for you. Just know, that somewhere out there, there IS someone who's looking for you, and who is capable and willing to love you. The question is, will you be able to love yourself by the time that person arrives in your life?

 

 

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I'm really sorry you had to go through that experience. even though things didn't turn out as hoped it took immense bravery to share such an intimate part of yourself with someone else. Win or lose it shows great strength of character! Rejection from others sux but rejection of self is the worst, it's s dark bottomless pit. In the end it's better and healthier to accept yourself....I would say if this person can't accept you for who you are then really it exposes your potential partners character flaws not yours. And I can understand wanting to take a break from diapers etc just make sure not to fall into a binge/purge cycle.

stay strong and  have heart!

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