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Solomon_Wishes

Rejection and Hopefully quiting forever!

13 posts in this topic

After facing rejection from someone today after telling them about being a diaper lover. I don't ever want face rejection like that again. She spoke to me as if I was a rapist of somekind.

I understand its meant to be next to impossible but I just can't accept this part of me anymore, after this. I'm going to quit completely or face being alone forever. :(

I going to try my best. any tips on quiting ?

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I'm sorry, I feel bad for your situation. Certainly she had no understanding, or compassion. I don't want to make you feel worse, but if she couldn't get it, and made you feel bad about it, you're better off without her. Even if she wasn't into this, there was no reason to make you feel bad, just because she wasn't.  

I can understand your wanting to swear off diapers at this time, it's natural. I'm not sure you will be able to forget completely, and quit. It would be very hard to separate yourself from it completely. I have had the same thoughts from time to time, but I felt I could never get rid of this. I just know I couldn't, and came to the conclusion I wouldn't try, it's to much apart of my inner psyche. However, if you are completely determined, and willing to try, I would suggest making plans to revamp what you do everyday. You are going to need something else to do, to take you mind off the sudject. You might want to seek a professional to help you through, as well. I wish you luck, and hope you can find what you want. 

I would offer one more thing. I know it's an old cliche, but it explains it in easy terms. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." 

It didn't work out for you, and you feel bad now. But, you can always shake it off, take some time out, an give it another shot. 

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Let me start off by saying I really feel sorry for you. I feel that whenever somebody shares their inner feelings one should be careful, open minded and in a way respectful. Evidently she showed little or no compassion for you. I would say be proud of yourself, you have done something a lot of us avoid putting up for discussion. I have no idea how long you have been a diaper lover and I really doubt it makes any difference at all but swearing off diapers it will be a hard thing to do. Now don’t get me wrong, I wish you all the best in your efforts but like Ababebill already said, if it is truly a part of your inner psyche it will most likely be next to impossible to beat. From personal experience I would suggest you are probably better off  embracing your feelings rather than trying to push them away and end up frustrated and feeling uncomfortable with yourself.  i do wish you all the best.

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Well that really sucks. Sorry to hear that, but the hell with her. Laugh it off and move on, she doesn't deserve you as a friend.

Or maybe this was just her initial reaction to the situation.  After all you really did put her in an awkward situation. Most ppl don't know this kink exist yet alone know someone who is into it. Maybe she just needs time to absorb it then again maybe not, I can't say.

I can say this though.  Rejection takes a heavy emotional toll on one. Do you really think that quitting diapers is the answer? Don't you think you would be compiling to the situation by mentally straining to try to give up something that is so deep rooted in you?

I can also say this. Speaking from experience here, I can almost guarantee you that if you seek professional help to curb your yearning for wanting and wearing diapers that professional is most likely gonna see the stress your causing yourself and question you as to why you would be wanting and willing to contribute to the situation. Not to mention there is no cure for this. There is no pill. The therapist might suggest  behavioral modification, but that could take years of therapy and still there's no guarantee it will work. 

I was seeing a professional after my wife discovered this side of me. The psychiatrist admittedly told me he knew little about ABDL but told me about articles he has read, including "Understanding Infantilism" and a few others he researched for our sessions. Now I can tell you it was extremely hard to open up about this to someone, especially another man. 

I explained to him that diapers were a form of stress release and they helped me cope. I on several occasions expressed my desire to quit wanting and wearing diapers and each and every time his response to me would be "why" I would  say it's not normal for a full grown man to want to wear diapers  and his response to me would be "what's normal.  So you like to wear diapers, big deal your not hurting anyone and your only causing undue stress to   yourself". He told me on more than one occasion that I need to find a healthy balance with it so it doesn't take control over me. He also told me that fighting the urge was causing me more harm than good and I needed to accept it as part of who I am. 

If you try to quit I wish you the greatest success, but please don't beat yourself up mentally over something so miniscule, and whatever you do if you find yourself so miserable during the process and find yourself back in diapers to cope then no big deal either. 

Good luck 

 

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Chances of you quitting are slim to none to be honest... Many try but very, very few succeed and even then it is questionable how successful it is since chances are rather than "getting rid" of it they are likely just heavily repressing it which is a very bad thing to do. I can't think of hearing about anyone who quit on a long term basis without doing something extreme that is only going to cause them harm either in the medium or long term.

I mean, I don't want to sound harsh but rejection happens. It is a part of life and can happen for any reason at all... When telling someone about this you have to be prepared for the worst possible reaction. If you are prepared for that then you can tell them, if you aren't then don't tell them.

I mean... If you were gay and you told someone and they reacted badly would you immediately book a trip to a "pray the gay away" camp and try to repress it? If you were a Manchester United supporter and you told someone who was a Manchester City supporter and they reacted badly would you switch teams?

You can't change yourself based on others reactions or you will never be happy with who you are. Rather than seeking to cut ABDLism out of your life, perhaps you should work more on accepting who you are and loving yourself rather than being what other people want you to be.

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Dude...I feel you.

But I don't think it's healthy for you.  This is part of you, and if you're like a lot of us, a big part.  Rejection hurts, but rejecting yourself isn't a good answer.

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Some really helpful words from all of you. I'm still a bit lost on which direction to go in, my head feels like its spinning. But once it's settled down a bit I need to make a choice on which I should do.

I understand its part of me and would probably be healthier to accept myself. But the other half is how unaccepting people I meet are of it and I don't deal with rejection very well. I get scared for my future where as if comes the time if/when I have a partner I love and end up telling her about this and it happens all over again.

What doesn't help is I suffer from OCD, anxiety and depression, which mixing it all in makes everything that little bit more confusing and it feels like it hits a lot harder when I get rejected. To most people they just see someone normal who gets a bit down now and then, but its much harder than that.

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On ‎3‎/‎21‎/‎2017 at 8:31 AM, Solomon_Wishes said:

After facing rejection from someone today after telling them about being a diaper lover. I don't ever want face rejection like that again. She spoke to me as if I was a rapist of somekind.

I understand its meant to be next to impossible but I just can't accept this part of me anymore, after this. I'm going to quit completely or face being alone forever. :(

I going to try my best. any tips on quiting ?

Solomon

You just didn't find the right gal to share this with. I know from my husband it is not something easy you can do by just quitting. It caused him a lot of pain, stress and just being miserable until I found out about it. Even after I knew he tried to quit. I just got sick of him being so miserable and told him he has to accept himself for who he is and don't apologize for it either.

What I do know you need in your life is someone that is not judgmental. That can be a hard person to find but those women are out there more than you realize. At least keep trying to find the right woman first before you do something to make yourself a very unhappy person. If you are not happy with your self no other person is going to be happy with you either. It is a nasty domino affect. Keep trying.

 

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After some time out and rereading the comments I am really greatful for your comments after feeling hurt and being left in a bad place. You guys have restored some hope into me and I have made another post about quiting and explaning in more detail what happened and my thoughts on being a diaper lover. 

Thank you! :)

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Thanks for sharing that.  I hope you're okay.  Please feel free to PM me if you want.  

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I remember being interested in diaper when I was in kindergarten. Than in my late teens or early 20's I worked in delivery service along side university studies. When delivering to hospitals and institutions I knew was toilets had diapers laying ready. That was my kind of my starting point of wearing. Today I wear  and use Abena M4 24/7 and acknowledge it is abnormal and sometimes wonder if I ever will loos interest.

I concluded a long time ago that getting into diapers is easier than getting out of.

Best regards

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Wow, that was really harsh of her.  I'm sorry you had to put up with that.  Remember that how others react to us often says more about them than you.

 

As far as quitting, I don't think that is a worthwhile endeavour.   You may try if you like, but fetishes are deeply ingrained in the psyche.

 

I would suggest that you seek out a grief counselor.   Research your options and find someone who is open minded and is more interested in  helping you with relationships than fixing you.  Don't be afraid to interview him first.

I go to therapy every few weeks, and it helps me cope with the kinds of things you described.  You are worth it.

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Hi Solomon, don't give up on yourself and your feelings towards being diapered.  Not everyone understands and just because someone else doesn't get it doesn't mean that you have to change.  I know its difficult when you get rejected.  Unfortunately many of us on DD can relate.  You won't be alone forever and eventually you will meet someone that enjoys the lifestyle.  Like others have mentioned its very difficult to quit because this is a part of you, something you enjoy and makes you happy.  I hid my desires for many years after being rejected by my wife and wore in secrecy and there was always that void because I couldn't share it.  Now she's my ex and when I'm dating as embarrassing as it can potentially be I'm upfront about it.  If they don't like it, thats fine, but I do so I'm going to wear and you should too.  

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