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too old and too young


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i feel like i am around 4 years old but that i like things that are too old and too young for me like diapers and bottles but also smoking, drinking and sex. but the part of me that likes smoking, drinking and sex might be a separate little who is 12 and also likes diapers. but the 4 year old also likes to be touched when i'm being changed like a baby. i'm just learning about this stuff about myself/selves but i definitely feel like a child who is too old for diapers but diapers comfort me and i feel like i am also a rebellious and curious child who likes to do adult stuff as a child. i think of myself as a war child

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I've never heard of someone who has two separate little sides, but the concept is an interesting one. I don't see why it isn't possible. One thing that sticks out is having sex at the age of 12. I'm not sure that 12 year old kids are even capable of sex, or have a desire for the act of sex itself (sure, they might have romantic desires, or they might understand that they're supposed to have desires at that age, but do 12 year old people want to get naked and do the dirty? do they want to go that far? I don't have the answers to these questions, as I'm asexual and somewhere on the aromantic spectrum). Smoking and drinking are easier to imagine at 12 years old but it's definitely abnormal for the standard AK profile.

Overall, though, understanding your desires as a little / AK is a process that takes time, and oftentimes we don't want to give ourselves time to understand things. We want to know, and we want to know now! Probably the best thing for now is to continue thinking about what desires you have, and do you desire those as an adult or as a kid (which, it sounds like you've already been doing that).

Maybe it would help if you were to ask yourself "how does my 4 year old little side get what they want?" Or ask that question about

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thanks for your response. personally i was sexual at age 12 so it makes sense that my sexual little is 12. my 4 year old just likes to hug and watch kids movies and all that normal kids stuff. he cries and craves being changed and a bottle even though that is for babies and he is 4. but the 12 year old is different and still trying to figure them out. i probably have multiple personalities to be honest. i have severe complex PTSD and that could account for some of this confusion


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  • 4 months later...

I have the inverse. I don't feel like my little and adult sides are separated at all.

Everyone grows at a different speed. Some kids take until 2 years old to be out of diapers. Some kids take until 5 years old. In the waking world, I took 8 years. Inside, I still don't feel like I've left my babyhood phase. I don't feel like I'm regressing, I'm just equalising.

Equally, time waits for no one. Kids who are still in diapers at 5 years old go to school anyway. I did. Having been in diapers doesn't invalidate my achievements at school, they still matter as much as if I hadn't been.

That's kind of where I feel like I am. I'm a diapered, non-toilet-trained 22-year-old exactly the same way as I was a diapered 3-year-old. I'm still going to do great things with my life and they're still going to matter just as much, I'm just going to do them with a heavily padded butt and that's not going to be weird or bad in any way.

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