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Babyhood: a Time of Love Without Expectations


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Good diaper vibes to all my friends, AB or DL or sissy either or, or transgender...whatever, I love you all!! I am a bisexual male and a boy persona AB and a caregiver to an AB anatomical girl...well met! I write today to suggest a theory about the origins of ABDL tendencies in some at least of us: Infancy and toddlerhood are a unique time in our lives in the sense that it is a time when we are loved for simply being, without behavioral expectations, familial or social. Or gender-based...

I shall explain: we may commonly dress young children in pink or blue as befits their specific gender, but we tend to judge the behavior of pre-potty-trained folks as though gender does not exist or possibly does not matter. Indeed, the Victorians dressed male and female babies in the same sort of "baby dresses," and did not separate social expectations and sleeping situations until the child was old enough to leave the "nursery", 5-6 years old?

I will now be bold enough to compare this set of ideas to a phenomenon I have observed in many a friend: it is a notable phenomenon, though far from universal, among the many gay men I have had the privelege of knowing over the years that many of them seem to have curious childlike obsessions: I had a boyfriend who regularly purchased "Smurfs" figurines and DC Comics action figures, and he was 41 years old. I have a another dear friend who is also in his 40's and decorates his living room with classic car die-cast models....large ones, 30 large cars at least, carefully chosen...

I compare the above phenomenon with the large number of sissies (Much love!), gay and bi AB's (love!!!) and MtoF transgender folks (love to you, always!) who are on this forum, and am curious:

Paint a couple of pictures in your mind for a moment: the most masculine male you can imagine, and/or the most feminine woman you can picture. Is there anything less masculine or feminine than these individuals wetting or soiling themselves? Obviously we judge a baby or toddler differently, both individually and socially. I suggest that precisely THIS "love without judgement" is what at least many of us are seeking when we put on a diaper. What do YOU think? Be frank, life is short!!

Think on it: keeping our pants dry is perhaps the first real discipline that is really required of most of us...

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Wonderful post! I call this time in our lives "pre-gendered," and though I consider myself gender fluid, the reason is what you describe - - when I am in little space, there is no gender, just acceptance and love.:wub:

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I don't believe there is any relationship between gender, sexuality and being ABDL.

What you describe with people collecting childish things is something that people do whether they are into age play or not. Most people have an interest or hobby that involves collecting and a lot of them are things that they will start when young.It doesn't matter if you are LGBT or ABDL or a combination in my opinion when it come to collecting comic books, model cars or whatever else.

I find the idea of "pre-gender" interesting. Biologically we are already given a gender, whether it matches with the mind or not, but what we don't have as an actual baby is any idea that we will be treated differently depending where we are gender wise. Though I don't think it takes baby's long to notice the difference between boys and girls, I think "pre-gender" or the idea of kids being unaware of anything gender related will only last for a year after birth, if that.

It seems like there is a larger ratio of LGBT people in the fetish than out of it (say 1:10 in the general population but maybe 1:6 or something within... Made up ratios just to give an idea.) I think that could be down to LGBT people wanting to start again or go back to a time where love was given no matter who they were. I don't think that works for everyone... I am bisexual and had a wonderful childhood, I came out and almost everyone was very happy for me. I don't think it has any effect on my relationship with nappies but I could understand if that was different for others.

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1 hour ago, ungulate said:

Wonderful post! I call this time in our lives "pre-gendered," and though I consider myself gender fluid, the reason is what you describe - - when I am in little space, there is no gender, just acceptance and love.:wub:

Anyone who has ever had children can quickly debunk this 'genderless' nonsense. Like it or not - and clearly some don't - gender is established in children at a VERY early age. Even toddler boys act like boys while toddler girls act like girls.

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15 hours ago, rosalie.bent said:

Anyone who has ever had children can quickly debunk this 'genderless' nonsense. Like it or not - and clearly some don't - gender is established in children at a VERY early age. Even toddler boys act like boys while toddler girls act like girls.

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3 hours ago, rosalie.bent said:

You can have all the theories or hypotheses that you want, but the total lack of any evidence to support such a notion...

OK, maybe you don't support the well-established theory, but many do:

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My goodness! Ever open a can of worms?! I wanted a spirited discussion and can certainly not claim to be disappointed. I will respond to this flurry of passionate thoughts in greater detail very soon (count on it!), but for now a couple of thoughts:

Gender is a function of biology, gender roles (concepts of masculinity/femininity etc.) are a function of sociology. It is not that we are ever truly gender neutral, it is that we only come to understand the differences in societal expectations between male and female as we develop. Not much is expected of an infant one way or another; indeed not much is expected period, babies are loved for simply being whatever they do. With expectations come complications, which was my point...

You want hard evidence about causality in human psychology? GOOD LUCK!! Without utterly unethical human-guinea-pig experimentation, such does not and cannot exist. Sorry. I merely ask questions, I do not claim to know the answers, don't be so sure you know them either. While I seek to give no one offense, I also do not apologize for sharing honest ideas that may have merit.

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On 10/2/2016 at 4:29 AM, rosalie.bent said:

Anyone who has ever had children can quickly debunk this 'genderless' nonsense. Like it or not - and clearly some don't - gender is established in children at a VERY early age. Even toddler boys act like boys while toddler girls act like girls.

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On 10/4/2016 at 9:22 AM, FretaBWet said:

I'm really have problems with what you've written on several fronts. I know what you've written was not done with the intention to hurt anyone, rants aren't usually about "others" they're usually about something internal I think. But that doesn't change how this feels.

I'm a pretty well adjusted transgender woman and comfortable with my identity and the world around me. If someone attacks my identity it doesn't hurt because I recognize that it's not based on truth but on a desire to devalue me and inflict pain. I can handle that, I had all the training I needed from a young age. The problem I'm having is that when the words come from someone that is usually a constructive helping individual I can't just discount it which would be my usual defense mechanism. You somehow found my Achilles heel which I wasn't self aware of, the chink in my armor against those that would hurt me.

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17 minutes ago, ungulate said:

And please don't call people "transgenders," it's not a respectful term.

It's a universal term in the scientific community at this particular moment.

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8 minutes ago, WBDaddy said:

Meanwhile, here's something you should read:

https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn20032-transsexual-differences-caught-on-brain-scan/

This is one of about four dozen reports on this phenomenon being discovered, so if you don't like their article, feel free to google "neurological differences transgender" and read the published papers or whatever else you'd like.

Thanks for that. It made very interesting reading. It certainly helps to find a physiological cause for TG. I've always suspected that TG had its roots in something more than mere psychology. It also underlines my point that Transgender is not a choice, nor is being male or female.

it was interesting that so many were aware of their transgender in the first years of life. That correlates with the understanding that gender is something you are born with rather than something that is chosen by environment or nurturing.

I might read up a bit more on this.

THANKS!

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1 minute ago, rosalie.bent said:

Thanks for that. It made very interesting reading. It certainly helps to find a physiological cause for TG. I've always suspected that TG had its roots in something more than mere psychology. It also underlines my point that Transgender is not a choice, nor is being male or female.

it was interesting that so many were aware of their transgender in the first years of life. That correlates with the understanding that gender is something you are born with rather than something that is chosen by environment or nurturing.

I might read up a bit more on this.

THANKS!

One of the keys to the nature of this discovery is that there is activity on both sides in a TG, which means gender fluidity is a thing, that someone can literally feel like one the other, or both at the same time, depending on where the activity is strongest at the given moment.

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1 minute ago, WBDaddy said:

One of the keys to the nature of this discovery is that there is activity on both sides in a TG, which means gender fluidity is a thing, that someone can literally feel like one the other, or both at the same time, depending on where the activity is strongest at the given moment.

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