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The following story was a request of sorts for Dyperdrive on Deviantart. The following characters are his and are used with his permission. Depending on the feedback this will most likely be made into a comic. Please leave feedback if you enjoy the story.

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Yay! Scifi and automated nurseries. Two things I love! I think it would make a fun comic, the only thing i would mention is to check it over for tense agreement. The narrative shifts into the present tense a couple times in the story. I can't wait to see what happens next (though i bet it involves our protagonist being babied)!

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2 hours ago, lilboychamp said:

Yay! Scifi and automated nurseries. Two things I love! I think it would make a fun comic, the only thing i would mention is to check it over for tense agreement. The narrative shifts into the present tense a couple times in the story. I can't wait to see what happens next (though i bet it involves our protagonist being babied)!

Scifi and automated nurseries? They have SiFi fun comics? I would be interested in this story. Please continue.

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I really appreciate all the feedback. Lilboychamp, I have always had trouble with tense and I'll do my best to improve. However, this story is already finished so there's not much I can do. Nonetheless, thanks again for your advice and I love your story!

Here's part 2. Enjoy!

Meanwhile, PJP2 was working feverishly with his long arms to restore the power to the grid. He had already replaced the burnt out relays and was currently working with the terminal in the power plant. A few rapid keystrokes and the generators all came to life with a jolt. Power courses throughout the satellite and soon every light, door and computer is back online, including the master computer. PJP2 was quite pleased with himself and decided to make sure that the oxygen production center down the hall was working as well before he rejoined Jamie in the main reception area.

Jamie had just finished the scan when the room was fully illuminated. "Oh cool, PJ got the power back on!"

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Thanks for all the feedback.

SGTbaby, I believe that's the age of her typical charges and due to this she translated it from years to months to suit her programming.

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  • 3 months later...

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