Cya Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 The following story was a request of sorts for Dyperdrive on Deviantart. The following characters are his and are used with his permission. Depending on the feedback this will most likely be made into a comic. Please leave feedback if you enjoy the story. 1 Link to comment
ChampTehOtter Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 Yay! Scifi and automated nurseries. Two things I love! I think it would make a fun comic, the only thing i would mention is to check it over for tense agreement. The narrative shifts into the present tense a couple times in the story. I can't wait to see what happens next (though i bet it involves our protagonist being babied)! Link to comment
Eagle0769 Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 2 hours ago, lilboychamp said: Yay! Scifi and automated nurseries. Two things I love! I think it would make a fun comic, the only thing i would mention is to check it over for tense agreement. The narrative shifts into the present tense a couple times in the story. I can't wait to see what happens next (though i bet it involves our protagonist being babied)! Scifi and automated nurseries? They have SiFi fun comics? I would be interested in this story. Please continue. Link to comment
SGTbaby Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 I love mechanical nursery stories!! They are awesome. I love how this is setting the stage and look forward to the next portion! 1 Link to comment
Cya Posted September 30, 2016 Author Share Posted September 30, 2016 I really appreciate all the feedback. Lilboychamp, I have always had trouble with tense and I'll do my best to improve. However, this story is already finished so there's not much I can do. Nonetheless, thanks again for your advice and I love your story! Here's part 2. Enjoy! Meanwhile, PJP2 was working feverishly with his long arms to restore the power to the grid. He had already replaced the burnt out relays and was currently working with the terminal in the power plant. A few rapid keystrokes and the generators all came to life with a jolt. Power courses throughout the satellite and soon every light, door and computer is back online, including the master computer. PJP2 was quite pleased with himself and decided to make sure that the oxygen production center down the hall was working as well before he rejoined Jamie in the main reception area.Jamie had just finished the scan when the room was fully illuminated. "Oh cool, PJ got the power back on!" 1 Link to comment
SGTbaby Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 I love the progression!! I think his escape attempt will be awesome to read. Also how did it place him at 12 months? Looking forward to more. Link to comment
Eagle0769 Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 Never read a story like this but I'm interested. Do robots spank a little boy who wears diapers when he is naughty? Please continue and thank you for sharing. Link to comment
CDfm Posted October 1, 2016 Share Posted October 1, 2016 Really interesting start, I look forward to the confrontation between PJP2 and the babysitter. Link to comment
Cya Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 Thanks for all the feedback. SGTbaby, I believe that's the age of her typical charges and due to this she translated it from years to months to suit her programming. Link to comment
SGTbaby Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 I want more! Great chapter! Link to comment
Crinkleybutt Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 This is a great story, and it would make an absolutely awesome comic! Link to comment
Cya Posted October 14, 2016 Author Share Posted October 14, 2016 On 10/8/2016 at 8:05 PM, Crinkleybutt said: This is a great story, and it would make an absolutely awesome comic! Thank you very much! Link to comment
Sarah Penguin Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 That was fun though a bit short Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now