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"Coming Out" to my wife


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This read suspiciously like a story but giving you the benefit of the doubt...

It's too late now obviously but this is really something that you should have told your wife before you got married. A fetish, lifestyle choice or whatever you want to call this is something that your other half really should know about. When you get married there really shouldn't be any major secrets like this, it isn't healthy for either side since for you it is something you are constantly drawn to and for her it is something that revealed after marriage can hurt because you kept it hidden.

I wouldn't be very comfortable with lying to my SO about something like bed wetting either. It just feels very dishonest to me and I think about how I would feel if my SO suddenly revealed she had been lying to me for years about something that I would be pretty hurt.

You know your wife better than me or anyone else obviously but maybe you should just come clean? Tell her you like wearing them... Maybe if you want to keep up the bed wetting charade you could say you've grown to love them since you started wearing again.

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The best outcome I can see now is to become truly a bed wetter IE really lose control, it may be easier than you think considering you are waking up wet most of the time now!!

At that point, you will be true to yourself, and your wife may never know that you were lying to her for the sake of a fetish for all that time!

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I really like your reply RustyPins. I, like the OP have wet my pants slightly on purpose about once every other month to justify wearing a male guard pad frequiently. She's well aware of my bed wetting until 9 yrs old. I even let some loose while staying at a cabin on my own blow-up mattress and sleeping bag. I know her very well and know from experience that asking for forgiveness than permission works perfectly. I'm careful to not do it too frequently that it prompts a doctor visit. She's not concerned about internal body issues. Every time has been a "dream" like I was wading in the lake and relaxed and let it flow out. I got back into the boat and woke up as the water was dripping off me to to find out I peed in my dream. In return I assured that I would wash everything since it was an embarrasing situation. Now I wear pads on and off "just in case"

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Your wife, your life, your choice. That said, I personally would never lie to my wife and I sure as hell wouldn't be proud of lying to my wife and tricking her into letting me do something. To top it off,

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On 7/21/2016 at 0:17 AM, Midwest Babygirl said:

Faking a problem to manipulate someone into suggesting something you want isn't "coming out."

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This isn't just about him though. This is also about his wife who as an adult has a right to make informed decisions about her life. You say "you'd rather she remain a happy person not knowing of the fetish" but what about what she'd rather.

People seem to forget when you lie to someone you are taking away their right to choose. You are making decisions about their life without involving them.

She has the right to decide whether she wants to be married to an AB/DL.

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I told my wife about my "fetish" ( god I hate that word). about 6 month or so into dating her. I started seeing that our relationship was going to become something more

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I Am all for sharing with your wife, Not all roads to the real truth are perfect believe me I haven't approached the way you did but for myself I down played my intererst in this fetish,

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There is really no point in telling her the whole truth. It's not going to change who you are, the man she loves and married. There isn't anyone who has been 100% honest whole truth to their partner. Well, maybe a few, but their probably separated now.

There's very little chance going back twenty years will be positive. What's done is done, no need to go back. Live for now, and move forward. You made that decision a long time ago and none of us

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