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I tried telling someone


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I tried telling a girl online about me being a diaper lover, it didn't work out too well. She started saying it wasn't normal at first, which is a completely ridiculous thing to say, because there is no "Normal," in this world, every single person on this planet is different in multiple ways, "Normal," is just a label that people use for what they THINK is normal, which it isn't because that's just a made up word by society. After i tell her that, she goes on to say that it's an unhealthy way to cope with stress, riiiiiiiight, because wearing a piece of freaking cloth that helps me deal with all kinds of stress and sleep issues, is unhealthy. Some people just go way too far with this, It is HARMLESS compared to other fetishes out there, there are some people who like torture, and other extreme things, compared to that, this is completely harmless. It's just so dumb how it's something so tiny, and people freak out and act like we're pedophiles, or some other overly judgemental thing. When i see someone calling a diaper lover a freak, or saying they need "help," it drives me crazy, they act like we are psychotic because we want to wear diapers, when just like the word "Normal," is made up, so are "Diapers," it's just a made up piece of cloth that people can wear, so why the hell does it matter so much? It's just so ridiculous that they think we need therapy, just because we want to wear diapers, there is much worse things out there that people should be focused on rather than something so minuscule.

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Why would you tell a girl online? I'm curious about the context and venue because it could explain a lot about the reaction you received. All that said, find validation within not without, it can really help on the road to happiness.

My now wife (then girlfriend) didn't have an issue when I told her and still actively participates now. She's said a few times it was largely due to how ai told her. Context, reason and method have huge impacts.

Snugglebear

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Some context would definitely help, but assuming this came up in a logical way and wasn't just mentioned out of nowhere, I'm largely in agreement with MsFluffems about how AB/DLs are inherently depicted as "freaks" by the outside world. What makes this so ridiculous is that compared to other things that people aren't depicted as "freaks" for, enjoying a diaper is so laughably harmless that it shouldn't even register in the mind of a truly rational person as something to remotely be fearful of. (Then again, most people aren't rational, which is really where the problem lies.) "Misunderstood" is a good way to describe AB/DLs, the problem is that society doesn't want to change their understanding, they just want to use their pitchforks and torches to get rid of us.

Oh, and as far as "normal" goes, you couldn't be more accurate in your assessment DiaperedShyBoy. Ever here the one about two people camping in the woods who are confronted by a bear? The first camper pushes the second to the ground, and as the second asks "what did you do that for," the first replies "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you." That's basically how "normal" works in what passes for society: Everyone is "odd" in some capacity, but people make themselves look "normal" by being less odd than whoever they're associated with, in effect metaphorically outrunning the other camper rather than the bear. Unfortunately, there are still too many people who like to rectally acquire conclusions on subjects that they have no knowledge of, often to their own detriment. Oh, and I typically don't like to hang around what passes for "normal" at the risk of boring myself to death, and usually look for people who aren't "normal" to spend my time with. They're more fun in my opinion anyway. :)

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I have to disagree with Diaperboy assessment. The idea that an adult wearing diapers and soiling themselves is totally abnormal. The comparison of going to the woods and the bear isn't good analogy either. What's socially acceptable by society

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We've had this debate here more than a few times but when people say "normal" they mean what they expect.

You are expected to finish school, get a job, get a family, etc... If you don't do one of those things then it is abnormal. Similarly, you are expected to wear a shirt, regular underwear, etc... If you don't then it is abnormal. If I saw someone in a complete fur suit and they walked up to me and asked if that was normal I would say "no." It is unusual, a deviation from expectations and therefore abnormal.

And I don't think most of the time people are condemning others when they say "That's not normal". It is merely a comment that it is unexpected... What they may condemn by saying that is the random decision to tell them if it isn't a situation where you would expect to hear that sort of thing.

I think there is an expectation among a lot of people of various "fringe" groups now that they demand acceptance from everyone and if anyone questions for a second that perhaps they shouldn't be doing something then they get offended very quickly. I think the rise of LGBT rights and places like tumblr have made everyone feel like they should automatically accepted no matter what weird thing they are into. Maybe if we lived in a fairytale utopia that would happen, but since the world is not a utopia you have to tailor your expectations for the society you are in. What I'm trying to say by that is... Relax. It doesn't matter what others think.

Chances are they just never encountered ABDLs before or only encountered us on one of the freak parade TV shows so they assume if you like diapers then you must be one of those weirdos. If they aren't a good friend and won't listen then probably best to just block them or something.

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I actually completely agree that it is not "Normal," in social terms that is a fact, but what really upsets me is people act like it's very seriously abnormal, like there is something really wrong with us, when in reality that's just how we ended up, I just don't like the labels they use like "Freaks," or "Pedophiles," because it is not even close to that.

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I will never understand why anyone thinks that they need to tell others about being AB/DL. It is a very personal thing that only active participants will understand. The "average" person will NOT understand why it feels good for some of us to put on a diaper because it isn't something they can relate to. Association is also a very strong feeling, and since most people associate wearing diapers with babies, they will not understand or accept how a "mature" (and sexually developed) person would have an interest in diapers--that's where they get the idea that we are perverts and deviants. It is something best kept to ourselves or discussed in forums like DailyDiapers with like-minded people only. But the average public will not EVER accept people wearing diapers for "recreation."

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I tell anyone who needs to know. That list is very, very short. Everyone else, it aint their business. Now, if you are interested in seeing someone romantically, in my opinion, they are on the need to know list.

Everytime I am with someone, and I think it might even go somewhere close to romantic or long term, I let them know up front simply to avoid hurt feelings later when we have grown attached. I prefer it this way because less feelings get hurt this way when the other person splits.

This comes from the most important element of adulthood though, the ability to be happy and content alone. If you can not find happiness and contentment alone, you really need to figure out why. That is the first step, and will help you find a cool acceptance of yourself, and give you the patience to seek the person who will accept you. I truly believe we all have a match out there. We just have to learn to be happy by ourselves, in order to weather the journey to find that person.

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16 hours ago, DiaperedShyBoy said:

I actually completely agree that it is not "Normal," in social terms that is a fact, but what really upsets me is people act like it's very seriously abnormal, like there is something really wrong with us, when in reality that's just how we ended up, I just don't like the labels they use like "Freaks," or "Pedophiles," because it is not even close to that.

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If it's ment to be it will be. It's not anyone's job to judge anyone else. That's what is wrong with this world. They don't know how to follow these lines.

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Actually, for my opinion. You should tell about your fetish to person who you believe, and you must know her/his well. Because being a Diaper Lover is very unusual to the others. Not everyone knows about Diaper Fetish. Trust me, when the time come, you will find the one who accept for who you are. I've found one. After she knows about my fetish, everytime im with her alone, she always wants me to wear diaper in front of her. Sometimes, she diapered me lol. For her it is some sort of cute. So she always wanted me to wear diaper infront of her. Just diaper n a shirt. Lol. So good luck finding yours. It will be someone that will accept you. :D

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Although I have to wear nappies as I am urinary incontinent. I have become unashamedly DL as a way of coping. Well that's my excuse. All my friends and family know I am incontinent and wear nappies. My wife worked it out a while ago that I actually enjoy being in nappies. She doesn't think any less of me and say if it makes me happy then why not.

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