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Hiya folks!

I have been a DL for many years and have only recently started exploring (and really enjoying) being an AB. This change has occurred largely because I started dating a woman several years my senior, and, though she had never before been into diapers and such before now, she finds both great emotional satisfaction and sexual stimulation from playing the role of mommy for me. In recent years, I have been gaining some enormous insights into my own psychology in other ways, and have been finding that through my AB experiences that I am gaining yet more. I believe I can at this point shed at least some light on why I am an ABDL, and I thought this might be illuminating to others with AB tendencies seeking to understand themselves as well as an interesting topic for discussion.

A good primer for a psychological discussion on infantilism may be found at http://littleab.com/abinfo.html, it is actually the one from the now defunct DPF website that seems to have been borrowed. My own case is different than those discussed, but there are important notions discussed here.

Basically, I believe that I am an AB primarily because of elements of how my psychology developed in early childhood. My mother and I had an unusually close emotional relationship throughout my childhood; she was my best friend through much of it, and a needed defender from my rather angry and violent older sister. She was also a juxtaposition to my father, who was rather emotionally distant from both she and I (and pretty much everyone). He was also in many ways married to his work, and thus not around much. In some ways, it might be said I took over my father's proper role of emotional support for my mother far too young, indeed I was to take over most elements of the "man of the house" role somewhat younger than appropriate.

My parents remained married until I was 14, but they were not close through that whole period to my recollection. My dad does not really know how to relate to people emotionally even now, so you could say that he is incapable of being close to anyone. This is due to his own psychology, and as such blame is inappropriate. He was never an abusive man nor a Mr. Macho, and I've never really doubted that he loves me. He just finds emotional matters very difficult to express and to receive, and as such I pity him. I think in some ways we are closer now than we ever have been, which is still not that close...

As for ABism, there are several factors discussed above that play into it I think. I am told I was resistant to potty training; it was not achieved until I was almost 3 and then with a threat to keep me out of pre-school. I think this resistance was partly due to the prospect of losing that special bonding ritual of the diaper change with my mother, partly due to not wanting to be "big boy" if that meant being like my father, and partly because of a third factor I have yet to mention.

In my study of myself and my childhood, I have discovered what appears to be a power relationship between my mother and myself that I have until recently been unaware of. The child depending on the mother emotionally is natural; the mother depending on the child emotionally is probably not so. Whether or no, it gives the child power over the mother he or she would not usually have. What do you suppose happened when that power was challenged by the first time in life anything was really expected of me?

There were of course other manifestations to this "I don't want to grow up" mentality, many of which persist to this day. I was big into stuffed animals rather long into my childhood, for instance; I slept with a stuffed killer whale into my 20's (still not sure why I stopped, saved a perception that girlfriends might find it unmanly). There are also numerous examples of how I psychologically try to duck adult responsibilities, often with disastrous results.

There are elements to my maternal relationship that are similar to (though surely not the same as) sexual abuse, especially if you factor in the freudian association of mother and lover (I am male, so the more so). I'd swear she was more than a little jealous of my first girlfriend (which seemed strange at the time), and it was about then that the closeness we had once enjoyed came to a close.

I do not for a moment believe my mother meant me any harm by anything she did, or even realized the potential for such. But as a human being and a woman in a loveless marriage, an offer of real intimacy from someone she'd be expected to be intimate with on some level anyway was probably irresistible. She has her own psychological scars that left her open to such a thing, and, though I perceive harmful effects to some parts of our relationship, it is far more useful to correctly perceive what happened than it is to lay blame. We are still pretty close today, and we discuss these things (not the AB side of it!)

I am finding being an AB both instructive and therapeutic. My "mommy" is in some ways like my mother, indeed my lovers always have been in one way or another. If people get into this thread, I'll post more about her psychology, but suffice it to say she is a willing and even enthusiastic mommy. In playing out the baby role (toddler, actually) moreso than ever before, I am able to perceive a similar affection and power relationship to the one I must've had with my mother at that age. Marvelously instructive! It's therapeutic in the sense that if I'm allowed to be a complete baby sometimes, I can be a more complete big boy when dealing with the big bad world.

So, what do you folks think? Anything ring a bell about my story, or possibly you can offer a different analysis? We can discuss me, but I'm really interested in YOUR ideas about where YOU think YOUR AB tendencies come from. Look forward to reading about it!

Oh, and feel free to ask questions, make comments, etc. I will post more if we get a good discussion going!

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Whenever someone asks why they/we are ABDL my first answer is always... Why not?

Certain people are predisposed to certain different things, everyone likes different stuff. The people here just happen to like nappies, acting like children, etc.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Babies are associated with security and being taken care of, and it's something that I suppose everyone would like to feel. We need to sense that everything is going to be okay and that our needs will be met. Role-playing helps us reach that feeling even though most of us have to deal with adult responsibilities. We see people making a fuss over babies and protecting them and secretly (or maybe not so secretly) we'd like to be treated like that as well.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I am a child abuse survivor, and up until age six, when I was taken away from my abusive mother and adopted, the only time I was truly safe was when I remembered to act and talk like a baby of about one.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...
On 6/18/2016 at 3:27 AM, Sir Stinkypants said:

Hiya folks!

I have been a DL for many years and have only recently started exploring (and really enjoying) being an AB. This change has occurred largely because I started dating a woman several years my senior, and, though she had never before been into diapers and such before now, she finds both great emotional satisfaction and sexual stimulation from playing the role of mommy for me. In recent years, I have been gaining some enormous insights into my own psychology in other ways, and have been finding that through my AB experiences that I am gaining yet more. I believe I can at this point shed at least some light on why I am an ABDL, and I thought this might be illuminating to others with AB tendencies seeking to understand themselves as well as an interesting topic for discussion.

A good primer for a psychological discussion on infantilism may be found at http://littleab.com/abinfo.html, it is actually the one from the now defunct DPF website that seems to have been borrowed. My own case is different than those discussed, but there are important notions discussed here.

Basically, I believe that I am an AB primarily because of elements of how my psychology developed in early childhood. My mother and I had an unusually close emotional relationship throughout my childhood; she was my best friend through much of it, and a needed defender from my rather angry and violent older sister. She was also a juxtaposition to my father, who was rather emotionally distant from both she and I (and pretty much everyone). He was also in many ways married to his work, and thus not around much. In some ways, it might be said I took over my father's proper role of emotional support for my mother far too young, indeed I was to take over most elements of the "man of the house" role somewhat younger than appropriate.

My parents remained married until I was 14, but they were not close through that whole period to my recollection. My dad does not really know how to relate to people emotionally even now, so you could say that he is incapable of being close to anyone. This is due to his own psychology, and as such blame is inappropriate. He was never an abusive man nor a Mr. Macho, and I've never really doubted that he loves me. He just finds emotional matters very difficult to express and to receive, and as such I pity him. I think in some ways we are closer now than we ever have been, which is still not that close...

As for ABism, there are several factors discussed above that play into it I think. I am told I was resistant to potty training; it was not achieved until I was almost 3 and then with a threat to keep me out of pre-school. I think this resistance was partly due to the prospect of losing that special bonding ritual of the diaper change with my mother, partly due to not wanting to be "big boy" if that meant being like my father, and partly because of a third factor I have yet to mention.

In my study of myself and my childhood, I have discovered what appears to be a power relationship between my mother and myself that I have until recently been unaware of. The child depending on the mother emotionally is natural; the mother depending on the child emotionally is probably not so. Whether or no, it gives the child power over the mother he or she would not usually have. What do you suppose happened when that power was challenged by the first time in life anything was really expected of me?

There were of course other manifestations to this "I don't want to grow up" mentality, many of which persist to this day. I was big into stuffed animals rather long into my childhood, for instance; I slept with a stuffed killer whale into my 20's (still not sure why I stopped, saved a perception that girlfriends might find it unmanly). There are also numerous examples of how I psychologically try to duck adult responsibilities, often with disastrous results.

There are elements to my maternal relationship that are similar to (though surely not the same as) sexual abuse, especially if you factor in the freudian association of mother and lover (I am male, so the more so). I'd swear she was more than a little jealous of my first girlfriend (which seemed strange at the time), and it was about then that the closeness we had once enjoyed came to a close.

I do not for a moment believe my mother meant me any harm by anything she did, or even realized the potential for such. But as a human being and a woman in a loveless marriage, an offer of real intimacy from someone she'd be expected to be intimate with on some level anyway was probably irresistible. She has her own psychological scars that left her open to such a thing, and, though I perceive harmful effects to some parts of our relationship, it is far more useful to correctly perceive what happened than it is to lay blame. We are still pretty close today, and we discuss these things (not the AB side of it!)

I am finding being an AB both instructive and therapeutic. My "mommy" is in some ways like my mother, indeed my lovers always have been in one way or another. If people get into this thread, I'll post more about her psychology, but suffice it to say she is a willing and even enthusiastic mommy. In playing out the baby role (toddler, actually) moreso than ever before, I am able to perceive a similar affection and power relationship to the one I must've had with my mother at that age. Marvelously instructive! It's therapeutic in the sense that if I'm allowed to be a complete baby sometimes, I can be a more complete big boy when dealing with the big bad world.

So, what do you folks think? Anything ring a bell about my story, or possibly you can offer a different analysis? We can discuss me, but I'm really interested in YOUR ideas about where YOU think YOUR AB tendencies come from. Look forward to reading about it!

Oh, and feel free to ask questions, make comments, etc. I will post more if we get a good discussion going!

That is a fascinating story and plays into our understanding that AB drives have their genesis during very early childhood and are a response to developmental failure or delay and sometimes external atypical pressures.

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  • 2 months later...
  • 3 weeks later...

I don't think anything about my childhood would have "caused" or predisposed me to this. I had a normal childhood along with my brothers but I can remember from a pretty young age, about 7 years old probably, being fascinated with diapers. I would play pretend games where I would be the baby and would sometimes wear my younger brother's pull-ups when I could. It would always just calm me down and make me smile. I surpressed it for a while until I found out about this lifestyle when I was a senior in high school.

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  • 9 months later...

Why am I an AB? For one it is a great stress release and I just love to let go and have all my needs taken care of. Those are the main things. There are also secondary things like the feeling of wearing a diaper, playing with toys all day, watching baby shows, wearing baby clothing, drinking from a bottle, sucking of a binky, hugging my favorite stuffed animal, eating dinner in a high chair, sleeping in a crib. Those things are all fun to me.

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  • 4 months later...

I am.searching for unconditional love. I know this is unrealistic and I have discussed this with my wife but the closest I get to feeling it is when I am little and she snuggles me up, I have a stuffie and a paci. I feel so little and yet so loved. I have several characteristics in common with the author of this but I am very close with my stepfather now. Also I was a bedwetter until about 30. I continued having accidents and being forced into diapers until I was probably 7. My first memory of diapering myself was about 4 I used my baby blanket and tied it up between my legs when I was supposed to be napping.

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