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Lost


turtlepins

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I remember being without fear, strong, confident, in charge of my destiny. I can't really be a baby, because I'm stuck in this adult body. I can't really be an adult because I'm stuck in these diapers and plastic pants. What am I? Ofen I feel like two separate people. Part of me is a functioning adult (well, almost functioning) and another part of me is a baby. Bottles, pacifiers, baby toys, story books for babies, all these things hold me enthralled. Being a good husband and father, doing my duty, loving and helping my family and friends all hold me enthralled. It's the line where they blend that has me feeling lost. I feel torn between the two worlds and afraid of both.

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I get that feeling alot, not sure why. I just take it day by day. As a new father to young children and a new wife, things get pretty complex. As if life for me wasn't that way to start, seems as though things just work out so I just hope for the best, and do the same for you buddy!

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By trade I am a craftsperson.

I have worked hard over the years. Now my health is giving me a rough time.

I have a bad case of degenerative bone disease aka aurthritis. It kills me to get up in the morning. the doc has me on some pain drugs but they don't work well.

I am scared that i will have to go on disability. I guess it is human to be afraid of the unknown. Right now I pride myself on being a good husband, father, grandfather and provider.

It is really sinking in now because the State of Florida just issued me "Handicap Person" auto tag.

I am not a baby. I wear diapers now because of night wetting. In the 90s I wore daytime diapers for fecal incontinence.

Diapers don't scare me. Being handicaped scares the hell out of me! Diapers are like a security blanket for me.

I guess my question is have you ever talked to a therapst about your feelings?

It sounds like you have an understanding family.

I wish you well:)

I remember being without fear, strong, confident, in charge of my destiny. I can't really be a baby, because I'm stuck in this adult body. I can't really be an adult because I'm stuck in these diapers and plastic pants. What am I? Ofen I feel like two separate people. Part of me is a functioning adult (well, almost functioning) and another part of me is a baby. Bottles, pacifiers, baby toys, story books for babies, all these things hold me enthralled. Being a good husband and father, doing my duty, loving and helping my family and friends all hold me enthralled. It's the line where they blend that has me feeling lost. I feel torn between the two worlds and afraid of both.
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