Dating

[Jamie]

Is it hard dating as ABDL?

[minachan16]

That's a very general question with no right or wrong answer, Jamie. It really boils down to what are you looking out of dating. If you're looking for a long-term relationship leading to marriage, yes it's hard, but it's supposed to be. You're looking for someone you can share everything about you, who will accept you as such, and who feels the same about you as you do about them. That's very difficult and while it can take time to find that person, it also takes time to find out if that person is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. This is true whether you are ABDL or not.

But if you mean it in the sense of "is it hard for ABDLs to find dates", then that depends on the ABDL in question. Are they only dating to find a mommy or are they dating hoping to find someone that they can be with, but at the same time may or may not want to be part of their ABDL time? I will say without hesitation that continuous selfishness is a very unattractive quality and if anyone dates exclusively to find a mommy or a daddy, they will have a very hard time keeping that relationship going if they are doing nothing to reciprocate the attention and time their little side is being given. At the same time, if you do find someone, but they do not want to baby you, you need to talk about what you can do instead, if they are okay with you participating in "little time" by yourself or if there is any capacity that they would want to participate as well. This requires communication, and you will only find someone right for you if you communicate.

There's so much more I could say, but it would help if you could be more specific with what you mean by your question, Jamie.

[Jamie]

1 minute ago, minachan16 said:

That's a very general question with no right or wrong answer, Jamie. It really boils down to what are you looking out of dating. If you're looking for a long-term relationship leading to marriage, yes it's hard, but it's supposed to be. You're looking for someone you can share everything about you, who will accept you as such, and who feels the same about you as you do about them. That's very difficult and while it can take time to find that person, it also takes time to find out if that person is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. This is true whether you are ABDL or not.

But if you mean it in the sense of "is it hard for ABDLs to find dates", then that depends on the ABDL in question. Are they only dating to find a mommy or are they dating hoping to find someone that they can be with, but at the same time may or may not want to be part of their ABDL time? I will say without hesitation that continuous selfishness is a very unattractive quality and if anyone dates exclusively to find a mommy or a daddy, they will have a very hard time keeping that relationship going if they are doing nothing to reciprocate the attention and time their little side is being given. At the same time, if you do find someone, but they do not want to baby you, you need to talk about what you can do instead, if they are okay with you participating in "little time" by yourself or if there is any capacity that they would want to participate as well. This requires communication, and you will only find someone right for you if you communicate.

There's so much more I could say, but it would help if you could be more specific with what you mean by your question, Jamie.

Am worried

[Apache Raccoon]

49 minutes ago, Jamie said:

Am worried

[Jamie]

1 minute ago, Scootaloo1 said:

What sort of person you looking for?

anyone am not picky ill take anyone that is willing give me chance.

[diaperguy85]

seems to me it depends on the girl, really. in my last relationship i never told her about my diapers, and im glad i never did. she would have used it as blackmail and other negatives. as we "dated" (we were barely a couple. long story, crappy relationship) i dropped little hints here and there about putting her in a onesy, coloring books, cartoons, pigtails, and she pretty much turned her nose up at the ideas. it came to a head when she asked what am i talking about with "all this little kid crap". i quickly backpedaled and just said i think she'd look

[Jamie]

am 30 yrs old i haven't found anyone yet nor has anyone found me i kind of of gived up

[Rockies Fan in Diapers]

Jamie, I'm kind of in the same boat as you, as I am 30 myself & I haven't found anyone yet, nor has anyone found me. As much as I hate it & hate to say it, I think diaperguy85 is right. When you're actively "looking" it's hard to find someone, but when you don't actively "look" outta nowhere, someone will come into your life. (I'm still just non-actively) waiting for this too happen, as I too have kind of given up on trying to find someone.

[Elfy]

3 hours ago, Jamie said:

Is it hard dating as ABDL?

No

[WakkoWannaBe]

You know what though, I know that it's easy to feel like you have to have someone.

*SO* much of society builds on the idea that happiness comes from being a part of a (heterosexual) couple. I feel like you'd be hard pressed to find a movie (in almost any genre) in which two characters were set up to "end up" together. I don't listen to the radio because every song, again in almost every genre, is about love or breakups or finding the right person. So, this is an idea that is easy to internalize.

Forget that, man. Like, seriously. You don't have to have a partner to be happy. Yes: society says you have to have a partner to be happy (and that that partner is straight). But you can construct your own reality in which that is not true. Yes: you need friends. Yes, you need to interact with people. But you don't need to feel down just because you don't have a S/O.

I want you to be happy, so I want you to have an S/O if that would make you happy. But like overall I think that society needs to start thinking about whether or not an S/O is necessary in order to live out a full/meaningful/happy life.

(Aro/ace: out)

[mamabug]

2 hours ago, Jamie said:

anyone am not picky ill take anyone that is willing give me chance.

This is a really sad statement. You shouldn't just settle for anyone, just because you're lonely. Trust me, that NEVER ends up good. You need to have standards. You need to realize what you're looking for in a partner and I'm hoping it's more than just an ABDL partner (because like Mina said before me, that's not going to work very good).

You may even have to try outside of the ABDL world or fetish world in general and try regular dating websites. More people are accepting than you think. I also believe that if you find the person meant for you, they'll accept who you are and what you're into. None of my partners were ABDL, but they all accepted and participated on different levels as well.

[Jamie]

worried what she think if tell her about my fethis

[rusty pins]

Where do you look?

[Jamie]

my friend said if start wearing i cant kiss my love life good bye.

[erevu]

I can relate to where you are, Jamie. I felt very similar at that age (I'm 37 now). As it turns out, love has a funny way of turning conventional wisdom on its head.

At that point in my life, not only was I ABDL, but I also was a cancer survivor and a post lung transplant recipient. Not only a "freak" but also fate had left me severely damaged. What are the odds of love after that? Then I met who would later become my wife, and later still my mommy. She hadn't ever heard of infantilism before meeting me. She is a conservative Christian. She got to love me for me, and when I opened up about more intimate sides of me, that didn't matter. She was honored I let her in. So, don't sell yourself short (I'm glad my lonely desperation never led me into making a really bad decision), and look for someone who clicks with you before you open the door to your secrets.

Just make sure you do open that door before it gets too serious. What I mean is, don't wait until after marriage. She has to know the whole you first.

[Jamie]

4 minutes ago, erevu said:

I can relate to where you are, Jamie. I felt very similar at that age (I'm 37 now). As it turns out, love has a funny way of turning conventional wisdom on its head.

At that point in my life, not only was I ABDL, but I also was a cancer survivor and a post lung transplant recipient. Not only a "freak" but also fate had left me severely damaged. What are the odds of love after that? Then I met who would later become my wife, and later still my mommy. She hadn't ever heard of infantilism before meeting me. She is a conservative Christian. She got to love me for me, and when I opened up about more intimate sides of me, that didn't matter. She was honored I let her in. So, don't sell yourself short (I'm glad my lonely desperation never led me into making a really bad decision), and look for someone who clicks with you before you open the door to your secrets.

Just make sure you do open that door before it gets too serious. What I mean is, don't wait until after marriage. She has to know the whole you first.

what if

[erevu]

4 minutes ago, Jamie said:

what if

[Jamie]

1 minute ago, erevu said:

There's nothing wrong with that, but understand that you'll want to find someone who fits with you in more ways that just ABDL. In fact, ABDL is not a must-have. What matters is finding someone who really fits with you. If you find it among ABDLs, more power to you, but if you limit yourself to only ABDLs because you fear the rejection of a non-ABDL, you're severely limiting your possibilities. I also think the fear is unfounded. You may face rejection, but you also have the potential to find someone great, who will accept that part of you despite not having it themselves. I did.

ill been rejected b4

[erevu]

1 minute ago, Jamie said:

ill been rejected b4

I have too, but that's not something that's unique to ABDLs, nor is it something you'll be immune to if you limit yourself to ABDLs. It's part of the game. You just have to accept that, have faith that your fit is out there somewhere, and keep trying.

[Jamie]

1 minute ago, erevu said:

I have too, but that's not something that's unique to ABDLs, nor is it something you'll be immune to if you limit yourself to ABDLs. It's part of the game. You just have to accept that, have faith that your fit is out there somewhere, and keep trying.

am not official dl yet i been rejected tunred down by girls since i 14

[erevu]

2 minutes ago, Jamie said:

am not official dl yet i been rejected tunred down by girls since i 14

Sounds normal, based on my experience.

[turtlepins]

On April 26, 2016 at 5:55 PM, mamabug said:

Don't settle for less than you deserve.

Hi Jamie.

[Brandiaper]

On 4/26/2016 at 8:55 PM, mamabug said:

This is a really sad statement. You shouldn't just settle for anyone, just because you're lonely. Trust me, that NEVER ends up good. [...]

Don't settle for less than you deserve.