ABDL or LGBT: Which area has caused more difficulties

[Dannyl]

So, I was just wondering, for the sake of starting conversation, about which side of yourself you have more issues with. So, for example, which area (ABDL or LGBT) has caused more issues with family, friends, etc. and which area you personally feel less challenged in. Hopefully this makes sense...

For me, being an AB has caused more issues with my family, with my dad referring to me as disgusting, and ultimately leading to a bout of depression and suicidal thoughts, and so this has caused more issues in my family. With friends, however, my being ABDL (they discovered it when I forgot to delete pictures from my phone) was not an issue, but they could not comprehend my being asexual, and just stated that I hadn't found the right person yet.

Both of these areas are issues, but if I had a choice, I would stay being asexual, but would give up being AB. I've contemplated giving up diapers before, but there's too much I'm missing out on: you guys for example, the comfort of a wet diaper, and the ability to have fun as a little. To gain what? My father's approval? A relationship that's been dead for 7 years?

[Elfy]

Neither really.

No family or friends know I'm ABDL, since there is no reason for any of them to know, except for my mother who found out by accident but was fine with it as long as I didn't obsess about it.

As for being bisexual and in a relationship with a transgender person... No problem, having come out to everyone. I maybe lost one friend but that was a friend that was drifting away anyway as we both grew up and had other things going on in our lives.

[WakkoWannaBe]

I don't think either has caused any issues for me. Some of my family knows about my diapers, and my parents both know that I just want to remain single (so I haven't had a proper "I'm asexual" convo with them). And I've received a more or less supportive "okay that's fine" on both ends.

As far as friends go, they're pretty much equally supportive. When we all get together, they sometimes get carried away with plant jokes for 2 straight minutes, which I really don't appreciate. And one of them doesn't really respect the whole "I don't want to know what (insert sex jargon here)" thing (which is more of a "me" thing than an "ace" thing, I think). But overall, it's good with friends also.

[Baby Jemma]

LGBT. Being trans has caused me to be hated by most of my family. They all know that I wear diapers because of what I went through (they don't know that some is AB, though), but being trans in a transphobic family has pushed me to my limits.

[Rachel Emily]

I've endured far more discrimination being trans, leading to the loss of one job and one I was forced to quit (I wasn't permitted to use the ladies' room). I've had to put up with namecalling, being told I ought to be shot, and being felt up

[kellysbaby]

I've not really had problems with either, strangely enough. But most of my life is private. My ex outed me as abdl to my entire family after we broke up. And some of my family have seen size 12 pink flip flops in our closet (women notice EVERYTHING). I'm a mechanic and have helped them all out of tough spots on multiple occasions, so to treat me rudely based on something I keep privately would bring on a shame-on-you session that would make them feel about 2 inches tall, except for my daughter in law, she has no conscience and treats all wait staff like they're personal assistants in "the devil wears prada".

[FretaBWet]

No one knew about my AB/DL side. My mother wouldn't let me visit her and my dad unless I came dressed as a man. This was after I had electrolysis to remove every hair from my face, neck, bust and hands. This was after I was married. I would borrow my husband's clothes since I had obviously replaced my entire wardrobe. I would take the 2 earrings out of each ear too. My hard limit and line I wouldn't cross was that I never removed my bridal set my husband had picked out for me. There was nothing I could do to hide my lovely boobs either. Both of my sisters had nothing to do with me for years after my parents had passed away and the three sons one has don't even know I exist. Somehow I'm pretty sure the AB/DL thing would have been way worse.

Hugs,

Freta

[ForbiddenFruit]

LGBT by far. I.e., the T

[FretaBWet]

FF, you have a gift of brevity which I admire.

[crys_138]

Being trans, no doubt. I haven't told anyone but my closest friends about being a little, and they're supportive, but I've gotten all kinds of hell from family in the past (all of whom I've cut off) because I started living as a woman.

[erevu]

I have to admire you for all that electrolysis, Freta. I spent months trying to deplete my diaper area and ultimately gave up. Yours must have taken years and cost a fortune in time and money.

[Wet_diaper_lover]

I say the T my family has nothing to do with me some of my friends back me with being on Testosterone but no one knows about the ABDL

[canuckistan.who]

On 2016-01-22 at 11:10 AM, FretaBWet said:

No one knew about my AB/DL side. My mother wouldn't let me visit her and my dad unless I came dressed as a man. This was after I had electrolysis to remove every hair from my face, neck, bust and hands. This was after I was married. I would borrow my husband's clothes since I had obviously replaced my entire wardrobe. I would take the 2 earrings out of each ear too. My hard limit and line I wouldn't cross was that I never removed my bridal set my husband had picked out for me. There was nothing I could do to hide my lovely boobs either. Both of my sisters had nothing to do with me for years after my parents had passed away and the three sons one has don't even know I exist. Somehow I'm pretty sure the AB/DL thing would have been way worse.

Hugs,

Freta

Holy...

You're a stronger person that me to put up with that.

"You choose your friends, not your family" I suppose. Well, it sounds like your husband is lovely and supportive, so that family is good!

[FretaBWet]

Thank you for the kind words canuckistan.who. I meant to put late husband, he passed away in 2005.

i wasn't going to visit them ever again but my husband didn't get along with his parents since he was FTM. It took a while for me to get him to the point of having a civil relationship with them. Then he turned it on me for not visiting my parents. I argued that he could go as himself, and have a relationship as himself and I couldn't do that. I would have to go as someone else so they wouldn't be having a relationship with me. In the end he convinced I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't practice what I had preached. He knew me well. He knew I felt like a hypocrite for never telling anyone I wasn't a boy and I hated myself for that. So I did what I had to do. It wasn't really strength, that was what my gay cousin had because he was open about who he was and everyone in the family looked down on him.

hugs,

Freta

[canuckistan.who]

14 hours ago, FretaBWet said:

Thank you for the kind words canuckistan.who. I meant to put late husband, he passed away in 2005.

Very sorry to hear that.

I know it's not the same to a death, but my husband left me a few months ago for a woman ~15y my junior. Suddenly finding yourself alone (specially in my late 30s) is a pretty empty feeling. At least my family and I get along good, so though they all live far away, I know I have emotional support. I really hope you had friends you could lean on back then.

Anyway, *hugs* back.

c

[erevu]

7 hours ago, canuckistan.who said:

Very sorry to hear that.

I know it's not the same to a death, but my husband left me a few months ago for a woman ~15y my junior. Suddenly finding yourself alone (specially in my late 30s) is a pretty empty feeling. At least my family and I get along good, so though they all live far away, I know I have emotional support. I really hope you had friends you could lean on back then.

Anyway, *hugs* back.

c

I met my wife in my 30s and she is just amazing. Take heart, you may find someone who isn't the child your ex was.

[canuckistan.who]

Thanks for the kind words, erevu. I'm not too concerned about meeting anyone, it'll take a while before I think I am ready for that.

[Baby Red]

Sorry for reviving an old post but its been ages since I visited this forum and this was a topic that I have thought about. I feel like being Trans has definitely caused more difficulties than being AB but thats more because being Trans is always visible while being AB is fairly hidden, but when AB is discussed its treated more negatively. The classic example is when I came out at work and a co-worker was trying to be sympathetic with me and was discussing an adult baby she knew who she described basically a 'real werido'. Also some people

[ChrisStar2016]

[JWieler]

So far for me it has been LGBT, nobody has ever had a problem with my diapers. And i have told a lot of people (Roomates, im a terrible liar). But coming out as gender issues has caused alot of problems.

[JonBoi65]

I have never had an issue concerning my "gay" preferences, and in fact, I have been afforded respect about it due to the fact that I openly wear a "LGBT" bracelet. Or it might just be because I am a seasoned senior of 64. With that said, being a diaper lover is quite different. For those that find it necessary to pay attention toward my bottom cannot fail but to make out the faint outlines of my diaper. I have overheard the "whispers" that are associated with rudeness about adults wearing diapers in the first place, especially seniors. Of course remarks like that quite irritate me and I have known to turn and give a firm but "no mistaking" correction on the subject.

Now mind you within my circle of friends who have no issues with my sexuality, also have no issues with my diaper wearing. They are aware that I do because they can see the outlines and during the summer sometimes the top of the diaper waistband is apparent. A couple of them have quite discretely asked me and I had not problems in telling them the truth about my diapers. Of course I knew the word would spread out, but I was not worried about it.

Being gay is not an issue where I live, but being a DL can be so misunderstood....outside of my good friends of course

[Crinklebutt1]

I think LGBT is more accepted than ABDL. My half-sister said that had I been gay she'd be able to accept me, but not as an ABDL. So she threw me out of her life. 

[Sailor Snow]

LGBT had caused more "issues".
Me being trans has let to a pretty big depresion and of course things since childhood like not understanding my own feelings why i felt the way that i did. This has improved in the last 2 years. And while there are still "issues" they arent as bad as before. It also took some time to fully come out to my friends who did know i was trans that i liked woman.  But now pretty much all my family and friends know and are accepting and supportive.

Now of course the dl part also had some stuff.
It took some time fully coming to terms that i liked wearing diapers and that it was oke to do so. I mostly keep it private so it doesnt really cause any issues with people.
And the 2 people i told it to didnt really seem to have any problem with it. Not really planning on telling more people about it mostly becaus i dont have any reason to tell people that i sometimes like to wear diapers.

[BabyBek]

I feel like I have more hatred for myself being ABDL then being lesbian. That may be because I have come to terms and accepted myself more. No one knows about me being gay except my friends and ex’s, but my parents would judge me more if they knew. Yet, no one knows about my abdl life and probably never will. So overall, I feel, for me at least, they are hard in different ways. No matter what you have to learn to love yourself ☺️

[Ubba]

For me this is a complicated question, with two different answers I guess. 

So externally neither has really caused me much issue. I came out as Bi when I was a teenager to pretty much everyone except my parents, still havent come out to them and don't think I will ever feel the need too. Everyone was very accepting, the only time I had any trouble, and it wasn't even trouble really, was when I moved into a flatshare when I was 18 and one of my room mates said bi people where just attention seekers. I told him to get fucked and that was that, we got stoned and went clubbing so wasn't a big deal. 

However with the AB side my parents and sister know, a few close friends and an aunt. They have been very supportive, however my mother keeps insisting that people will mistake me for a pedophile but that's her problem. 

So I guess actually externally AB is kind of a problem because I cant talk to just anyone about it or share it with them or what ever where as being bi, well probably pan, the definitions as I am aware have changed since I was a kid, anyway yeah I am confident to drop that i am bi but not really AB, but not really an issue. 

Now internally is a different story. 

Being Bi has never really emotionaly bothered me, I have always been like well I like both so what. However when my Mam found out I was AB she got drunk and had a very serious conversation with me about how at least i  wasnt gay and that was not allowed. Not the best conversation to have with a 15 year old that went all the ways. 

Internally I have wrestled with being an AB for as long as I remember and that has definitely been a big emotional problem for. Took me a long time to accept myself being AB where as being BI I kind of just accepted it when I knew that's what I liked.

 

So yeah complicated question man