Breakthrough in remembering repressed memory

[kellysbaby]

So, I've not really posted in the rainbow section until recently. But I've been coming to

[Baby Jemma]

If your wife really loves you, she'll accept you for who you are. If you guys want things to work, then try your best to make them work. A relationship doesn't focus on one side, but both.

I am a transwoman who hasn't yet found a romantic relationship yet. I have no experience beyond having a girlfriend when I was a teenager in denial. But I know why our relationship didn't work out. It's give and take, if you will.

I'm sorry if I'm not much help. I hope you find yourself in your life. It's the most that any human being can hope for.

[diaperpt]

I haven't been around most of the forums for quite some time. This is the first time in a long time for me to write a response anywhere other than the story section.

My story is rather interesting, I think. First of all, I'm old...at least chronologically. By the time I understood myself to be a transgender woman I was in my mid 60's and well into my second marriage. The irony of my self discovery is this; I'd been instantly drawn to girls gym suits (starting jr high in 1959) and that attraction continued

[Dill_Pickle]

Kellysbaby

Wow, and ouch....

[diaperpt]

Dill is right on about all he's said. Things might have been better had I been willing and/or able to compromise. There was no way I could bring myself to do that.

Younger people do have a much better chance of staying together, and I hope that can be true for you, kellysbaby. It seems to me whether the marriage survives depends much more on the spouse and their basic personality, however younger people tend to be more accepting in general.

[Bettypooh]

Coming out in an established LTR is fraught with risks. Even if your partner desperately loves you they may not be able to handle your thing. Some people are like that and there's no changing them. But some people can learn to get past their concerns and accept you as you truly are. There's no way to know for sure until it happens. That 'thing' can be Trans, ABDL, opening your sexuality more, anything really.

[kellysbaby]

Update: my wife and I spent Saturday shopping and talking. She finally dug deep and told me to make a list of what I actually wanted. I sat down yesterday and wrote out a letter to her. I explained how I'd lied to myself to protect myself growing up and how I'd lied for so long that I'd believed it. I also explained that I hated my masculine body but my life aside from my body was great. I didn't bring up diapers because they're not an issue with us. She loves diapering me. I reminded her that I'd rather stay a man and have her with a happy life than lose her and stay a man due to financial strain. She now plans on writing me a letter back but wants to buy us matching outfits to help ease my GD. I'll have to take the letter and copy it to here some time. Things are looking up!

[diaperpt]

Hurray!! This sounds like a huge win-win for the two of you. It sounds like she's really willing to bend.

[kellysbaby]

To clarify: "stay a man" in the physical sense, without expressing my inner self to her or myself by dressing or altering my physical body.

[DiaperedJulia]

My wife was initially very supportive and said she would never leave me, however when her view of me finally shifted from male to female, things began going sideways.

[diaperpt]

Good advice, DiaperedJulia. I'm sorry that you lost (or are losing) your wife. A blog is great. I'm done w my shrink, but continue to see a gender therapist - just went from weekly to twice a month. She's great because I can go in and ramble and she'll turn it back at me in a way I can see what's going on. And also, she'll call me on things I need to be called on. I also go to a once-a-month support group; it's small, but it is one more way for me to anchor in reality. I've been online a lot - Facebook support groups (though those tend to be lots of drama... who'da thunk??) and I have online trans-friends. kellysbaby, I suggest you have lots of support around you and available to you whether or not you go with a journal/blog, regardless of whether you make any move toward transition or not. You've obviously been feeling in conflict and that isn't going to go away if you don't transition and if you do any transition, you'll find it's hard! Worth it (it certainly was for me) but very hard.

I'd love to hear about your matching outfits, too!! Update or not, I hope you are doing well.

[Dill_Pickle]

On 12/28/2015 at 10:57 AM, kellysbaby said:

Update: ... I reminded her that I'd rather stay a man and have her with a happy life than lose her and stay a man due to financial strain.....

[kellysbaby]

I think things are due for an update.