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New mommy needs advice on ABDL


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I'm new to this ABDL stuff and my boyfriend is an ABDL, I really could use some advice. Maybe even a friend who I can confide in or talk to about this stuff. A little background on us before I go into things. We are in a long distance relationship, a couple states away. We've been dating for 3 years now (he told me a couple months into our relationship about his fetish). we make it a thing for one of us to visit the other for at least 1month each year.

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Well there is a lot of stuff to get through there!

You have a lot of questions but a lot of them can only really be answered by your boyfriend. You say he only sends you links when you ask him, well you have to tell him that isn't really good enough and that you want to talk to him about it rather than to a website. All ABDLs are different so a lot of the things you ask would be different for me than they would for your boyfriend.

You talked a lot about him wanting this and that but I have to wonder if he is being a bit selfish. You are understanding and accepting of him being ABDL which is cool, but he seems to ask for quite a lot. He wants to wear 24/7, he wants you to wear, he wants a nursery... I wonder what he does for you? As in, do you have any kinks or anything like that that he goes out of his way to make sure you enjoy? Even just regular vanilla interests?

A lot of the more functional questions such as where to get changed in public is situation dependent. It should always be in private but it really depends on where you are that decides where and how to get changed.

Going into baby talk when having an argument or something doesn't sound healthy to me. From the way you wrote it, it makes me think he either has actual issues with his mother or uses it to deflect you when you are bad. If you have a legitimate reason to be angry he might think acting that way will divert your anger away from him because you wouldn't want to be angry with "baby". Either way, it isn't a good thing to do when having serious discussion or an argument. Adult Babies need to focus on the first word in that sentence as much as the second, no one should be an AB 24/7 (wearing 24/7 and being AB 24/7 are very different things) because it is seriously unhealthy. Adult responsibilities are necessary and if he doesn't help towards them then that isn't fair on you.

From what you wrote, and I may have it wrong because I'm only hearing this one side of it, is that he has asked for a lot of stuff from you but: a) hasn't given you enough information to actually do it all and b.) he has asked you to do a lot of things but isn't doing a lot for you in return.

I don't think it is unusual to not want to mix AB times with sexual times. That varies from person to person, some are happy to do it and others feel weird about it. I mix it in a little bit sometimes.

Honestly though, the two things I would take away from this post is: 1. He is asking you to do a lot of stuff, is he doing stuff for you too and 2. Links to websites are all well and good but after the time you two have been together he should have been able to be more clear with what he wants and doesn't want. You need to get him to answer a lot of these things himself, links aren't good enough when asking more specific questions like what punishments he might be OK with, how he thinks he can afford a nursery. You also need to tell him your concerns if you haven't already, if you aren't comfortable with mixing AB and sexual things, or changing his used nappies then you have to tell him these things because a relationship is a two way street.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...

My two cents probably won't help, but here goes:

When he's diapered is he erect and aroused? If so he's wanting to a #3 in his diapers.

1. is urinate (pee-pee)
2. is defecate (poo-poo)
3. is ejaculate (creamy)

his diapers. Usually after climax, most adult babies, especially younger ones want nothing to do with diapers.

I know you stated that when he calls you mommy and wants sex, you feel it's an act of pedo. It's not, you're two consenting adults.

Part of the power exchange is when he's in bABy mode and you're the mommy. You have all the power! Use it to your advantage.

If you don't like the way things are going, change it to meet your expectations and desires.

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  • 11 months later...

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