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Wife's into diapers


R21

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We recently updated the forum software and your post required approval, which used to be different- sorry for the delay.

As you may have guessed, it's possible your wife is AB or DL but I can't say for sure nor can you at this point. I think what should happen here is that when you're both calm and happy and you have some private time together that you open the subject with her. Tell her your concerns regarding this and listen to her with your heart. It's entirely possible she's telling you everything right now. It may be that she's too embarrassed to discuss this with her doctor and needs your support there. It could be that she doesn't know that thee are treatments for some forms of incontinence.

And of course it's possible she is ABDL which by your posting here I guess you have considered. It's your choice what to do with your relationship if it turns out that she is, but I'd suggest that you do some soul-searching about this yourself. Being ABDL doesn't cause harm to or affect anyone else; it's just a personality quirk that happens in some people. It can enhance the closeness of a relationship when the other partner is accepting and participates in it. It can also be a heartbreak and even a deal-breaker to discover that the person you love the most rejects one of the deepest parts of who you are. None of us asked to be ABDL- we just are. We'd all love to not have relationship problems with this but many of us do. The luckiest of us have an accepting partner whom we would not trade for anything because we know how tough that kind of acceptance can be to find.

But the big thing I'm seeing here is that you're not communicating together, and in a relationship with a partner, that's a sure-fire way to have problems. You need to make time in the relationship to do this, and to do it calmly with love and understanding always at the front. Listen to each other, really listening and not just hearing their words. Don't let anger creep in and if it does put the conversation on hold and pick it up later when there is calm again. Don't issue ultimatums either because you cannot change who somebody really is and it's not fair to ask them to do that for you. Most of all value the deep honesty which occurs during these conversations and use it to make your bond stronger. Should there be an impasse over something go to the middle- find a compromise- because after all that is the person you chose to give your future to and they have an equal part in deciding to keep that going or not. Remember that the more you give, the more you'll get in return.

Bettypooh

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  • 5 months later...

Coming from a female with the exact same thing as your wife, I've had this problem off and on my whole life, sometimes it would stop for a few weeks, moths years, then out of nowhere comes back and stays a while. I hate it, it's embarassing. And yes as time has went on there have been daytime problems off and on as well. My husband, understands that it is an uncomfortable subject for me and embarassing. But he is also supportive. I have to wear diapers at night because I am a very heavy wetter, during the day I use pads inside my underwear. Sometimes they hold up sometimes they do not. The fact that he is non discriminating about the fact I wear diapers to bed has helped me to emotionally accept the fact that I need to, out of respect for him, our furnature and myself. She may be coming out about it more now not because she enjoys diapers, but because she is now comfortable enough that she feels she can share anything with you.

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Just go with the flow (so to speak) Work it out together and turn negatives into positives. Enjoy what you can and have fun, you will both be more relaxed. In some ways if she is less tense and less nervous, the wetting may reduce.

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  • 4 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...

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