Stork Critique?

[marxthebaby]

I am rather new here, and I was wondering if anyone could look this story over. I'm not the best writer, so some tips would be nice, and I want someone to tell me what they think of the characters so I know what is wrong with them or what I am doing properly. Thank you for your time,

http://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?showtopic=48348&page=2

[WBDaddy]

You've got one of the most active reviewers in this little (gathering dust) group actively engaged and commenting in Cute Kitten.

[Cute_Kitten]

I'll post my comment here instead of n the story thread. xD

Heads up though- this IS the critique section.

You've got a good grasp of grammar, punctuation and spelling- though I didn't read through the story with a fine tooth comb playing English teacher lol. You start a new line when a different character speaks, and you keep the names the same throughout the story and know when to capitalize. You also utilize paragraphs. You've got a good grasp of story format. For a beginning writer that's an excellent start.

Some things to think about- characterization and plot. For fetish fiction these things may not matter much, but if you want to improve in general at story writing- any story, any genre- my advice would be to read a lot. Read like a writer- look at how published authors handle the characters, handle the plot. There are many different ways and techniques.

For this story specifically- you handled Hans transition from Dom to baby pretty well, and your characters have clearly defined rolls and they do fill those rolls within fetish fiction. You've given the Russian Dom some interesting characteristics- namely his feline mannerisms. Thats a good start for character building.

The story as it is- well, its fetish fiction. Nothing wrong with that though. I'd advise just write what feels natural. I can tell just from the writing style you're still a new/ beginning writer and nothing wrong with that! You're off to a good start.

Characterization- work on fleshing out characters. By that I don't mean character descriptions. Character actions and words reveal their personalities, and motivations.

Plot- basically the path, how the story gets from A to B. One of the biggest things I still work on myself lol.