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Again, if she was talking to you alot things, it would be different. Then you'd know why it was scaring her so badly. Since she's not... what can you do?

Does she exits her affection in other ways? Verbally, giving you gifts, doing things for you?

I don't know. I have been in a relationship before where the other person didn't show affection. It drove me crazy. I started acting badly too because I want having my needs met. It wasn't really good for either of us, even though I lived him very much. (Still do for that matter.)

As much as that break-up hurt, I'm glad we did. It freed me to find someone very different! My current boyfriend does not find showering affection to be difficult, and I'm not as crazy or territorial because I am already getting what I need from him.

On the other hand, I do still have some issues. There are some days I just can't stand being touched. (I have sensory disorders.) But I've explained that, and he is able to cope with it, especially because I can still show affection in other ways.

Good luck to you!

You know, one thing I don't understand is that she's fiercely jealous, demands monogamy in a relationship, and is very concerned with me being faithful (I've never cheated on a gf, so not a problem), yet refuses to have or talk about a sexual relationship of any kind and rarely even does things like kiss me. I don't get her preoccupation with her boyfriend being faithful if she could care less about having that type of relationship with him. Again, I feel like she wants all the benefits of a relationship without giving back. I also don't feel like I should constantly have to "remind" my girlfriend to be affectionate. I feel like at the very least she should go above and beyond in that area due to the fact I'm putting up with her issues regarding sex. I need something to show that she cares.

I don't kniw, maybe I'm being unreasonable, but that's how I feel.

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You know, one thing I don't understand is that she's fiercely jealous, demands monogamy in a relationship, and is very concerned with me being faithful (I've never cheated on a gf, so not a problem), yet refuses to have or talk about a sexual relationship of any kind and rarely even does things like kiss me. I don't get her preoccupation with her boyfriend being faithful if she could care less about having that type of relationship with him. Again, I feel like she wants all the benefits of a relationship without giving back. I also don't feel like I should constantly have to "remind" my girlfriend to be affectionate. I feel like at the very least she should go above and beyond in that area due to the fact I'm putting up with her issues regarding sex. I need something to show that she cares.

I don't kniw, maybe I'm being unreasonable, but that's how I feel.

you have had enough, its time to break it off, now, before it gets harder. you cant fix those who wont admit they are broken, or those who dont want fixed. you deserve better than her, someone who is capable of rational thought and at least some level of maturity. she has none of that.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, I actually have good news. We got into a massive fight the other night. Not good news, but hang on. The fight started because I gave her an ultimatum of sorts. She got really angry that she should need to "prove herself to me" and the fight went on into the next day. It got to the point of being so bad I was about to leave. For good. She was doing her silence thing again, but somehow, for some reason she actually started talking to me about the problem this time. And answering my questions. She told me that any form of sex, even external touching by anyone other than herself, is extremely painful. The only form of enjoyable sex she has ever had with anyone else is masturbation through a diaper. Even the anticipation of a partner getting near the area causes pain. I'm well aware of the condition, vaginismus, told her about it, and asked her why the hell she hadn't told me before. She responded that previous boyfriends had told her she was crazy, forced her into painful sex acts, and made fun of her for it. An ex, upon breaking up, had also told friends and they had laughed at her. She was afraid to say anything, apparently. She was also unaware it was a fairly common issue and a real condition. She had no idea that there are ways to treat it. She said she told a ob/gyn during the one and only exam she has ever gone to and that she was told she needed to suck it up and stop being a baby or she would never find a partner. I told her if she would just trust me and talk to me from now on that it's something we can work on together and nothing to be embarrassed about. She told me that she felt so bad she was always afraid of starting or talking about anything sexual to avoid turning me on, and that was the reason she would completely shut down.

So...we talked for quite awhile, are going to give this relationship another try with her promising to talk to me from now on, and are going to start working on treating the vaginismus this weekend. We talked for a couple hours about all kind of things that we never had before. It was great.

I just wanted to update you, thank you for the advice and help, and tell you some good news for once. Hopefully this is a turning point in the relationship.

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Oh, and I think part of the problem is that she is really inexperienced, obviously, and has never had a good sexual experience with a guy. The only time she has ever had an orgasm is with masturbation through a diaper. In the past, she has never had a boyfriend that understood. If she started anything sexual, like touching or oral to meet his needs, the guys she has been with have basically tried to force her into more, then become extremely angry when she told them it wasn't pleasurable and she couldn't have sex. She says the no touching thing with me wasn't because she didn't care about my needs, but because she was terrified to start something. She never acknowledged that she knew it was hard for me because she didn't know what to say. I responded that she must have dated some real assholes in the past, and that she could trust me. She didn't seem to realize that I wouldn't insist on intercourse if she started something, or that other forms of sex are enjoyable for guys. She also didn't seem to realize that many women don't even get off from actual intercourse. Excuse me for being a bit graphic, but I don't think she even really knows that clitoral stimulation without penetration is "a thing" and can be enjoyable. Obviously she enjoyed masturbation with the diaper on because then there was no chance of penetration. I'm actually thinking this could be really fun. But treating vaginismus can take years in some cases, so we'll have to go slowly.

Anyway, thanks again everyone. I'll let you know how it goes. Maybe this thread could even help someone else in the future dealing with the same problem.

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See, an ultimatum can actually work. It forced her to confront her fears and talk to you about it AND to start seeking help. Hopefully she will get somewhere better this time too.

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I'm glad she was able to start communicating with you! Hopefully with your support, and now that she knows not all guys are asshats, she will stay open and honest with you and be able to work through things.

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Well, I actually have good news. We got into a massive fight the other night. Not good news, but hang on. The fight started because I gave her an ultimatum of sorts. She got really angry that she should need to "prove herself to me" and the fight went on into the next day. It got to the point of being so bad I was about to leave. For good. She was doing her silence thing again, but somehow, for some reason she actually started talking to me about the problem this time. And answering my questions. She told me that any form of sex, even external touching by anyone other than herself, is extremely painful. The only form of enjoyable sex she has ever had with anyone else is masturbation through a diaper. Even the anticipation of a partner getting near the area causes pain. I'm well aware of the condition, vaginismus, told her about it, and asked her why the hell she hadn't told me before. She responded that previous boyfriends had told her she was crazy, forced her into painful sex acts, and made fun of her for it. An ex, upon breaking up, had also told friends and they had laughed at her. She was afraid to say anything, apparently. She was also unaware it was a fairly common issue and a real condition. She had no idea that there are ways to treat it. She said she told a ob/gyn during the one and only exam she has ever gone to and that she was told she needed to suck it up and stop being a baby or she would never find a partner. I told her if she would just trust me and talk to me from now on that it's something we can work on together and nothing to be embarrassed about. She told me that she felt so bad she was always afraid of starting or talking about anything sexual to avoid turning me on, and that was the reason she would completely shut down.

So...we talked for quite awhile, are going to give this relationship another try with her promising to talk to me from now on, and are going to start working on treating the vaginismus this weekend. We talked for a couple hours about all kind of things that we never had before. It was great.

I just wanted to update you, thank you for the advice and help, and tell you some good news for once. Hopefully this is a turning point in the relationship.

i thought there had to be SOME kind of sexual trauma, now you have some communication, with that you have the chance for this to work, you seem to know about that condition, are you a nurse or a doctor or something?

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So we had our first sexual experience together last night and it went really well without her worrying about me doing things she wasn't comfortable with. The difference is amazing. Her comfort level when we're alone and the increase in affection is amazing. Things are looking like we might be ok. Thanks everyone.

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So we had our first sexual experience together last night and it went really well without her worrying about me doing things she wasn't comfortable with. The difference is amazing. Her comfort level when we're alone and the increase in affection is amazing. Things are looking like we might be ok. Thanks everyone.

im tempted to ask for a play by play of everything with pictures, while i grab a bucket of popcorn :roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Honestly it sounds like she gave u the daddy role. Now with a lot of about girls who find a daddy there's usually a strong sexual attraction quite hard for them to ignore. However u said that her past bf's were only interested in the role play. So despite the fact that she thinks she's kinky she doesn't feel like she should engage in sex. Daddy should. In the community Daddys are stern but loving. Next time u want sex from her play into her fetish needs. Tell her what daddy wants her to do. And start off with simple things leading up to sex. Every time she does what u want tell her good girl. Make her give daddy a hug. Then tell her to let daddy check if she's wet. (Depending on ur ick factor) put ur hands in her diaper and see if she is and if she is massage her clit. Then stop and tell her she's a naughty girl nd needs to be punished. Then punish her. It might suck if ur not into it but it sounds like sense she sees u as daddy u have to bring the sexuality back into the fetish for her. Wen she's soaked give her diaper rubs the works

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Honestly it sounds like she gave u the daddy role. Now with a lot of about girls who find a daddy there's usually a strong sexual attraction quite hard for them to ignore. However u said that her past bf's were only interested in the role play. So despite the fact that she thinks she's kinky she doesn't feel like she should engage in sex. Daddy should. In the community Daddys are stern but loving. Next time u want sex from her play into her fetish needs. Tell her what daddy wants her to do. And start off with simple things leading up to sex. Every time she does what u want tell her good girl. Make her give daddy a hug. Then tell her to let daddy check if she's wet. (Depending on ur ick factor) put ur hands in her diaper and see if she is and if she is massage her clit. Then stop and tell her she's a naughty girl nd needs to be punished. Then punish her. It might suck if ur not into it but it sounds like sense she sees u as daddy u have to bring the sexuality back into the fetish for her. Wen she's soaked give her diaper rubs the works

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I'm no stranger to the painful sex situation. And, she's right, many guys will try to keep forcing it. I suppose I was always just more... forceful with my boundaries. I was raped once, but aside from that, most of the time they either gave in to my boundaries or we just split.

But with a patient partner, things can be different. For one thing, females have a variety of erogenous zones that can give pleasure even if it doesn't lead to orgasm. And, if you don't push her, steamy discover that she gets pleasure from pleasing you as well. I know I definitely feel very intimate with my partner when I'm playing with him, or stimulating his prostate, or a variety of other things that can be sexually pleasurable to him, even without a corresponding sexual release for myself. And, oddly, for me at least, him allowing that kind of intimacy without him trying to get between my legs, builds my trust in him.

It sounds like you really love her, so I hope things work out. If she would ever like to talk to someone else with a, errrr, "non-traditional" sexual response, you can have her PM me, or reach out to me on Yahoo. It might help her relax if she realizes she's not a freak.

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  • 2 years later...
  • 3 months later...

 

Since I am her baby toddler, I have no sex with her. This is not easy, especially in the beginning. But then you understand that it's just not good. When she brought her boyfriend home made me jealous. I saw them kissing, holding hands, falling in love. And then I sat in the playpen, pacifier in the mouth and wet in the pampers.Am evening was made ready for bed and at 8 o clock I had to go to bed. I could not sleep I went with my wife / mommy to the gynecologist. Both women have talked about sex. And the doctor then said, do you have sex with him? Mommy laughed, oh no, not for years. I understand, is not it better if we delete your "husband" now from the former column? Enter it in the children's list ... Mommy said nothing, then she said, we can register my boyfriend as a husband. The answer was - but of course - should we do it immediately? YES. Now I felt really very little. Did the helper laugh like a friend? or they laughed at me

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