Why Discrimination?

[Shy-Diapers]

Lately, whenever me and my GF have tried to go somewhere together, they don't allow us. Recently we tried going to the movies, and they said they wouldn't let us in their building, because we show off a "perverted lifestyle that makes people uncomfortable". That's just the beginning, being in college she was not allowed to try out for the swim team, because of her being pan. Whereas I am getting both verbally, and physically harassed. So my questions is; Why do people choose to discriminate against us just because we're LGBT, and what can we do about it on a local level?

[Elfy]

I can honestly say I have never experienced anything like that.

[Shy-Diapers]

Well, I'm glad to hear you've never experienced anything like this. We tried talking to higher management, they didn't want us there either. We would love to spread the word to local media, but because we go to college in our home town, it brings up the fact that my mother thinks my sexual orientation is a cry for attention, and that my GF's parents think this is a phase, and hers will most likely never accept her, being they work for a very anti-LGBT church. Both of us still rely somewhat on our parent(s) being we work minimum wage in a small crummy town. I've tried seeing if there is any law in our state about discrimination based on being LGBT, and there is none.

[Shy-Diapers]

Thanks, I appreciate the friendly advice. I am a very trusting person when it comes to people's opinions and such. Meaning that if somone tells me their opinion/answer I automatically believe that their opinion/answer is the correct one, regardless of whether or not it actually is. As you can see that impacts be a great deal.

[WakkoWannaBe]

I think Christine was mainly referring to the ABDL lifestyle. Some miscommunication might have occurred, I don't know. I might be wrong.

[Shy-Diapers]

I doubt you've heard of my town. It's called Binghamton. It's in central NY, if it sounds familiar, then it's most likely either A.) You've heard about it because of us being the carousel capital of the world (pretty crummy thing to be known for). Or B.) Rod Serling author of 'The Twilight Zone' was born here.

It is a small town. There is a LGBT hangout downtown, but it's a while away from our college. Plus, neither of us have working transportation right now. We had to ask a friend to drive us to the movie theatre on their way to visiting home.

I agree that we should be able to be ourselves and not be judged. It took me forever to accept myself and come out of the closet, only to be shoved back in by society's norms.

[WakkoWannaBe]

Hey my sixth sense was right!

[Shy-Diapers]

Thank you. Right now my GF is less worried about things like what happened at the movies, but rather being very concerned to how things are going at school for me. As mentioned in my OP, I am being both verbally and physically harassed on a daily basis. I have many bruises from being shoved into walls, being shoved in between a group of guys on the football team, getting two matching black eyes, and other things. I honestly am unfortunately used to being treated this way. She's more concerned about than I am. I'm just worried that she'll get hurt. Mostly because I have been threatened by the fact that if I don't keep my mouth shut about the harassment they will do what they are doing to me, to my GF, and right now, that is the last thing I want to happen.

[Elfy]

The whole thing was "everybody has some kind of kink" so "keep your kink at home" that way nobody is imposing on anyone who would be made uncomforatable. That was one of the underlying premises of a tolerant society. "If you do not want the public in your bedroom, do not bring your bedroom in the public square" elsewise you are seen as an exhibitionist. Also, it is gnernally considered that if you bring your kink into the public square, you have no ontrol. are a slave to it and less of a person. The word was "live and let live". It was decided that anyone who objected to that, on either side, was a fanatic

Beyond that. there were two other things going. a theatre of public place had to be accessible to all without anyone imkposing on the other and reasonable standards applying. Also, with regard to private entities, "rules of the house" since they owned the place

[Shy-Diapers]

Thanks for your friendly words elfking. We are hoping to move to California once I have my teaching degree and she has her respective degree (whatever that may be, she likes making me guess). Mostly we want to move there, because that is where I spent the first 9 years of my life. My town was the best place ever in my opinion. That's a long ways a way though, right now we are trying to get through our situation as best we can.

[Bettypooh]

Discrimination comes only from stupidity or ignorance. It takes legal changes to fix the first but education can fix the second one. Both ways, there must be someone to start things moving and sometimes that person has to be you. I once got a retail store to act by threatening to have a dozen drag queens hang out in front of their store- it was a bluff but they couldn't risk having that happen knowing that many of their customers would simply go elsewhere rather than walk through such a throng I'd suggest that you begin with finding your school's diversity resource center. While they can't directly affect off-campus things, they can get you into the powerbase of allied students involved to help bring on the changes we want to see. They sometimes include alliances with the schoiols legal team who can apply legal pressure to ensure it's students are not being discriminated against. Simply accepting discrimination only perpetuates it

[Shy-Diapers]

Bettypooh: Thank you truly for those kind words. I am trying to get mor involved in support groups at our college like you had said. It's a challenge though, mostly because I am painfully shy, and have an anxiety disorder. My GF is trying to help with be becoming less antisocial. She is more of the one to stand up and say something. When the incident at the theatre occurred i had to hold her back from doing and saying things to the workers that wouldn't allow us in that she would regret. I haven't gotten very far in getting involved in our school. The farthest I've gotten is talking to the faculty advisor of our GSA.

[DailyDi]

Thread cleaned so some posts may seem disjointed. Please stick to advice and support for the OP and not side-arguments.

[kevindhca]

Small town or not discrimination of any kind is most likely illegal and would at least warrant an investigation.

Even a threat of legal involvement may be enough to get the results.

Please read:

http://www.dhr.ny.gov/how-file-complaint

Take action.

[Guest YoungZeppelin]

Its all about how u were brought up. I have no care for it ... Cuz I am pan... But I live in a state where people will go out of their way to harrass others for being a bit different. Its a mix of religious and personal views... I agree with everyone and take up some legal advice or even pursue legal action. Just keep in mind this will never go away but best wishes to ya.

[Dill_Pickle]

I've heard of Binghamton, and suspect it's SUNY Binghampton you are speaking of.

[Guest]

From legal perspective I would have to ask in what way you "show off" your lifestyle, according to the theatre owner.

You probably will not be surprised that there are actually few laws prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Your question is very dependent on what state you live in.

What I would suggest instead is that you consider social media your friend. Outing a business as anti-gay can have a considerable impact on their trade. Of course, you should also be aware that you would be opening yourself up to considerable scrutiny. Having your online accounts, including this one, hacked would not humble out of the question.

If I were you, I would document instances of discrimination, including audio recordings depending on the laws of your state, and decide later if you wish to take any legal action or start a social media campaign.

As for the direct harassment, document and press charges. I would speak with both campus police and municipal law enforcement.

[Shy-Diapers]

According to the manager, we were "showing off", because we held hands and she gave me a peck on the cheek.

Unfortunately, I do not have any social media other than this. Mostly because allot of my friends get brutally harassed via social media, and I have enough harassment.

I intend to speak to the police eventually. Right now I can't it's one more pile of stress I can wait to have. Plus, because most of my bruises have healed, it would most likely be my word against theirs.

[Bettypooh]

"Showing off"? Do hetero couples hold hands and kiss there too? I'll bet they do and they are allowed in so you should be too Documenting that will gain you leverage against management who will then either have to yield or admit they are discriminating. Waiting to seek assistance with this won't do you much good if any

[Shy-Diapers]

I was just as shocked when we were accused of "showing off" as you were. hetero couples can make-out in that way it looks like they are going to swallow each other (didn't have a better way of describing it). The cashier was the first to tell us to get out, so we asked to speak to a manger, we did. He said in a nutshell that they didn't want us there, because of "showing off that oerverted lifestyle". That same cashier, actually smiled and aww'd at a hetero couple making out in the way I mentioned earlier. Whereas we were kicked out because she gave me a peck on the cheek and held hands.

The biggest reason why I'm reluctant to involve police of my situation at school, is because when I was a kid, around 9, some bad things happened in my house. To make a long story short, my step-father started drinking, became and alcoholic, and started beating my mother. One time she almost died because of it. Basically, it didn't help my mother when she started talking to law enforcement. It was difficult for her, it seemed to hurt her more than it helped her.

A huge thanks again to any and everyone who has posted something supportive. I really appreciate it. I will try to keep you all posted.

[Dill_Pickle]

Shydiapers:

That was half a generation ago with your mother.

[jamielakenovels]

Lately, whenever me and my GF have tried to go somewhere together, they don't allow us. Recently we tried going to the movies, and they said they wouldn't let us in their building, because we show off a "perverted lifestyle that makes people uncomfortable". That's just the beginning, being in college she was not allowed to try out for the swim team, because of her being pan. Whereas I am getting both verbally, and physically harassed. So my questions is; Why do people choose to discriminate against us just because we're LGBT, and what can we do about it on a local level?

Wow! Where is that you live? That doesn't sound legal at all. It's so bizarre in today's day and age that people don't just accept people for who they are.

[Shy-Diapers]

As mentioned earlier, we live in a small crummy town in central NY. I doubt you've heard of it, it's called Binghamton. There wasn't really anything we could do, we talked to the manager and he just agreed and kicked us out. We waited outside the theatre for someone to come get us, since we don't have working transportation at the moment. You probably nt be surprised, but there are very few laws to protect from discrimination based on sexual orientation.

[Dill_Pickle]

I got cut off last night...you need to find in-person, local help.