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xander.williams

Asexuality

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At the age of 28, I am still a virgin, and while I do have a sex drive, it is not outwardly focussed. I've been wondering if I may be somewhere on the asexual spectrum.

I very rarely find someone so attractive that I want to sleep with them, but I do find women attractive. I think with a strong enough emotional connection I would feel a sexual draw, but the thought of sex isn't much of a turn on.

Part of me also wonders whether the issue isn't sex but vanilla sex that doesn't interest me.

Anyone else considered whether they might be asexual?

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I am asexual. It doesn't mean a complete lack of interest as our bodies still demand the chemical release from time to time, but as you said our brains just tell us to handle it ourselves and not bother involving someone else lol.

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I'm almost asexual by force, not by choice. My testosterone levels are so incredibly low that not even that horrible testosterone gel is enough to bring my sex drive back up to "normal". I've just learned to live with it.

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Asexuality isn't about sex drive or enjoying sex. It's about whether or not you look at someone and go "dang they're hot."

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Asexuality isn't about sex drive or enjoying sex. It's about whether or not you look at someone and go "dang they're hot."

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Yeah I know. Without any testosterone my sex drive and every associated with it just went out the door and never came back. I can look at a totally hot girl with all kinds of cleavage, and only think her chest must really be cold in a shirt that's cut that skimpy. Where as a teen I would have cum on the spot.

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I abstain from giving anyone a label. But I don't mind telling people what label they might look into.

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I think I fall into this category as well. I'm 25 (almost 26), and am still a virgin. I've never dated, or really ever had an interest in dating. I think this is mainly because I fear rejection so much, but I'm not really sure. I have very low self-esteem, and that is also a contributing factor I think. I never can see myself as good enough, even in the aspects of my life where I do succeed, such as my bowling league.

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I'm one ;)

@wakko- just what we need, more labels :P (jk) I'd be a gray demi ace by those terms I guess. Though my sexuality is mostly female-oriented that isn't 100%, and there has to be much more than a hot body or enticement for me to feel anything sexual toward anybody :whistling: Even then all the other things are more important to me that sex; it's at the bottom of my 'list of needs' in life. I've experienced great sex a few times and I still think it's over-rated <_<

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yeah, labels get crazy! But these labels are kind of "insider" jargon terms. As far as the general populace goes, knowing the term "asexuality" as a sexual orientation would be fine.

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I have thought for a while i may be demi, as I've felt such attraction to only one person in my life, after i'd formed a strong emotional bond. Not sure if it was a one-time-thing, it hasn't happened since.

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Yeah, it's weird being ace sometimes because you can look at a body and go "I like that person's (shirt/hair/makeup/shoes/body type/muscles)." You're still allowed to appreciate aesthetics and things about bodies and go "that's cool" and "that's good." But if you don't want them in your bed for it then yeah, still ace!

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But I do want them in bed with me :huh: Just not having sex as the main reason we're there ;) I want closeness, I want intimacy, I want love, tenderness, the fun of a crazy fling of some kind and all the rest that goes with a relationship :thumbsup: I just don't want sex to be a deciding factor on compatibility, I don't feel a need to have sex with someone else, and I can't really understand why it matters so much to the rest of the world though I know it does and I can understand why they're that way. It's just not for me and I'm OK with that.

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Oh, yes, sorry. I was being a bit colloquial about "getting in bed" xD.

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Guest YoungZeppelin

I am a bit... I trend not to be tracted very much to people but I still have a big sexual drive, I just don't go around begging for it like the rest of the guys in my town.

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I was married for twenty years and have three children. My sex life has always been at a very low level. I just found my diapers more sexy than my wife. After my divorce I have never even thought about marrying again. I think it's enough to make one woman unhappy. So by now it's about ten years ago I have had sex with someone for the last time.

I have learned to accept that only diapers can get me aroused. In short, yes I am asexual.

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I have learned to accept that only diapers can get me aroused. In short, yes I am asexual.

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Ugh yes that's an awful argument. Sorry if I didn't totally understand your explanation Rachel Emily (I'm not known for my intelligence xD), I'm actually in a pretty similar situation. So I'm surprised that that went over my head o.O. Anyway, people just

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Hmmm.... If you meet me in "Real"(quotidien) Life, I'll display myself as hetero, but......I'm kind of take it or leave it for PIV sexual intercourse, and find it very hard work compared to other methods of reaching a climax, such as a meeting with Rosy Palm and her five sisters in the shower.

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So the reason I've been thinking about this is because I've been getting so much pressure from family and friends to date more. I brought up this issue with a friend of mine the other night, and he basically suggested that because I do experience arousal that I am not asexual. That is of course a reaction out of ignorance, but what bothered me more was the not so subtle accusation that I'm making an excuse.

I don't know what it is about carnal activities, but it drives some people to distraction if you do not partake in them and they do. If you're not drinking at a party, everyone wants to know why. You're not chasing cheap sex with near strangers, and there must be something wrong with you.

It pisses me off to no end! I don't find sex appealing. I don't know why. I don't especially care. And other people need to stop trying to care on my behalf. I do not need to be fixed!

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