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To tell parents or not?


Guest sissyarya89

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Because when diapers are a part of who you are (more so than just a fetish), how can you expect others close to you to know the full you- without knowing about your diapers.

If you try to keep this part of you hidden then you are denying who you are as well. This will affect your stress levels, as well as your relationships (whether you realize it or not).

You will also be limiting your ability to wear diapers unless you risk them finding out on their own. When that happens (and it eventually will happen) the out come can be much worse than if you had just told them in the first place, especially since you were effectively lying by withholding the truth the whole time.

As an AB there may be some good reasons (and fears) not to tell others close to you, but there are even worse reprocussions to not telling them too.

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Because when diapers are a part of who you are (more so than just a fetish), how can you expect others close to you to know the full you- without knowing about your diapers.

If you try to keep this part of you hidden then you are denying who you are as well. This will affect your stress levels, as well as your relationships (whether you realize it or not).

You will also be limiting your ability to wear diapers unless you risk them finding out on their own. When that happens (and it eventually will happen) the out come can be much worse than if you had just told them in the first place, especially since you were effectively lying by withholding the truth the whole time.

As an AB there may be some good reasons (and fears) not to tell others close to you, but there are even worse reprocussions to not telling them too.

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Hey everyone is entitled their own opinions. Personally I wouldn't want to keep someone close to me at a distance, I prefer to keep them close and open up about who I am. You certainly don't have to do that if that's your choice.

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Diapers are a big part of me and I still don't tell people. Do you tell people what kind of underwear you wear? Do us females tell people what kind of bra we wear?

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I second what Baby girl has just said. I also don't feel the need to tell everyone in my life but that doesn't mean I am any less confident, proactive or willing to face conflicts head on. The simple and factual answer is of course not. What it does mean is this is ONE part of who I am out of a thousand different parts. Let's be honest here for a moment, does anyone actually think their family and friends truly share EVERY part of their life with every petson in their lives? Of course not, why, because each relationship is different. Not sharing everything doesn't somehow mean friends and family no longer know who we "truly are".

Discretion exists for a reason and choosing not to use it doesn't somehow make someone "better or more confident". Besides, ever thought of whether friends and family even want to know. Telling people something whether they want to know or not feels a lot like self-validation at someone else's expense.

Just my two thoughts.

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I am going to regret getting into this.

Good for you, Brian. I'm glad that you feel better about yourself and feel like you're being true to yourself by getting everything out in the open with everyone you know. That works for you, and that's fine. Do the rest of us a favor and stop trying to shame everyone who doesn't do it the same way by suggesting that we're lying to the people who care about us or that we're lying to ourselves or denying ourselves some vital piece of who we are by being discreet.

Or are you really advocating that I should tell my stepchildren that I wear diapers and show them where I keep my pacifier and sippy cups and all my AB stuff, just because we live under the same roof and they're family and they love me and deserve to know the "real" me? Maybe I should call my mother while I'm at it, now that we're no longer constantly fighting about my gender identity. Maybe I should tell everyone on facebook, because I'm being selfish by keeping secrets from them. Or maybe I'm happy with who I am and the way things are, maybe I don't have to let every single person in my life know about my AB side to feel like that part of my identity is validated, maybe, just maybe, it's up to me to determine who in my life is understanding and accepting enough to entrust with the most intimate and personal details of every facet of my personality. I'm not betraying anyone who I choose not to have full disclosure with, because while my AB side is an important part of who I am, it's not a part of me that has to be out all the time. I can turn it off, which is also okay because I am fully capable of getting through an 8-12 hour workday without my pacifier and still being fully functional as a person.

I respect your decision, but do not agree with it. I truly do believe that withholding the truth to benefit your self is the same as lying.

Also, at no point have I ever said anyone should expose their diapers (or anything else) to those you would be telling. By all means you should still keep them to your self while only informing them, and even then it should only be the people that are close to you and are likely to find out on their own. Simply living under the same roof may or may not quantify this. If you don't live with your mother (and by the sound of it are barely on good talking terms) then telling her would do nothing good, especially since it sounds like there is almost no risk there now would it.

Finally, facebook, really now who is trolling here with ridiculousness. Quite obviously there needs to some discretion involved, and with everyone's situation being different the decision to tell or not needs to weighed on an individual basis with the risks, rewards, and truth all being weighed in on.

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The benefit of others would come from you being there to explain it to them in a civil manner. It would obviously save them from freaking out upon finding them or otherwise be left wondering. It would also help their own level of acceptance for who you are, while also potentially bring them closer to you for knowing you care enough about them to confide in them.

Look, I don't know of any better way to explain this. I'm sorry you can't see the benefit of including some close to you in with the rest of you life. I've done this, and both of us are better of for it. Even if they hadn't understood why or fully accepted it at least they were able to understand that diapers are a part of me and as such are a part of who I am. If that isn't how you see it then again I'm sorry to hear that.

You asked what benefit there would be from withholding the truth. This is my point! There is NO benefit to be gained by not telling them. You may get lucky and have no detriment from it, but there is certainly no benefit either.

I also find it hard to believe anyone could often wear diapers around someone else, for years even, and they would never find out or figure it out.

You too have seen the success stories of telling others. They greatly outweigh the negative ones, and often seem to lead to a number of benefits (for both people). Yet some how you continue to ask what's the benefit for the ones that are being told.

Finally, yes their are risks with who you are planning on telling. There are risk to everything we do no matter how much benefit there may be gained. This is why I said you need to weigh everything on an individual basis. I would never go around and tell someone I barely talk to that I wear a diaper, especially for my own thrills as you put it.

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I respect your decision, but do not agree with it. I truly do believe that withholding the truth to benefit your self is the same as lying.

Also, at no point have I ever said anyone should expose their diapers (or anything else) to those you would be telling. By all means you should still keep them to your self while only informing them, and even then it should only be the people that are close to you and are likely to find out on their own. Simply living under the same roof may or may not quantify this. If you don't live with your mother (and by the sound of it are barely on good talking terms) then telling her would do nothing good, especially since it sounds like there is almost no risk there now would it.

Finally, facebook, really now who is trolling here with ridiculousness. Quite obviously there needs to some discretion involved, and with everyone's situation being different the decision to tell or not needs to weighed on an individual basis with the risks, rewards, and truth all being weighed in on.

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Everyone's situation is different. In the case of the OP, he has at least one parent who already knows about prior diaper usage, and who isn't afraid to share the explicit details of her own sex life. By mentioning that he's going to be casually wearing diapers from time to time, he's likely to avoid a possible confrontation at a later date, and to unburden himself from unnecessary stress involved in worrying about whether or not the outline of his diaper is visible through his clothing. In his particular situation, I would actually say that I think he has more to gain than to lose by telling his mother at the least just to avoid unnecessary stress and a possible confrontation when the issue could be calmly settled beforehand. As long as the OP's mother isn't going to tell a bunch of people about what the OP confides in her, I think this is one situation where it would be beneficial for him to tell his parents that he wears diapers around the house from time to time. There's a big difference between simply wearing in your room for sexual pleasure and wearing diapers around the house because you enjoy them in a non-sexual way as well, and the OP is clearly in that second category. In a different situation I'd give different advice.

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Seriously Brian, I say this all only because of your extreme and constant criticisms of those here who do not wish to follow your chosen course in letting this part of their life become widely known. You're as bad about that as I am in my defending "Depends" as not being as awful as some thing they are (a practice which I do try to keep minimal foir the sake of others whose opinions I know do vary :whistling: )

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Sorry this how I've come across in the past, it was not my intent. I do know I can easily come across as offensive in the tone I use, but please know I do still respect others beliefs even if I do t agree with them.

Yes, I do advocate telling others and believe it is the right thing to do. I also believe there are plenty of situations where you certainly should be telling others even when your afraid to. Does this mean you should tell everyone just for the sake of it- heck no.

Sorry Bettypooh, but I don't think it's possible to select just one of your options. There needs to be a balance between the two. There are plenty of cases where telling (with or without reservations) is the only truthful way to go. Should this apply to every case, again no.

Looking back at the various posts you can see the argument has been strictly to tell others or not. In this black and white sense the answer should always be yes, which is what I've been saying. Is our world only black and white- again no. Up until recently even Elfking has been saying you should never tell anyone- ever. Is it so surprising that I've always been saying you should? Only once we both started getting into that grey area have both of us shown our positions don't apply to every single situation.

In this regard are we both not as equally wrong? Why then would you only call me out on this- especially when it was I that first began pointing out that grey area?

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There can't be balance between the two... One is about telling without restriction the other is telling with restrictions. They are mutually exclusive. You say every situation is different and that is true for all things but I don't think I have seen you address a situation where telling no one (or at least no one outside of relationship) is the right thing to do.

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Fair enough, a couple of examples for not telling someone would be the difference in withholding information versus just not informing someone. What's the difference you may ask?

Withholding info is when you do not tell someone something that they need to know, would be better off knowing, or otherwise may be affected by that info (or the lack thereof). An example would be to not tell someone you live with and (and you wear around them quite often). Their not being told by you will Likely lead to them finding out on their own (and we've covered this possibility already).

Not informing someone of something is just that. Their not being told will likely make no difference to them in the long run (or you either if you're being selfish). A good example might be a loose friend of yours. You might wear around them some times, but even then its not often or you're extra careful to keep them concealed. Maybe otherwise they are the kind of friend that you don't truly care about hanging with too much. If chances are they will never find out, or may not even be your friend for a long time, then what would it matter if they know. That person isn't around you enough to be effected by your wearing, now are they.

Hope I made the distinction clear enough. Obviously this shouldn't be taken exactly as is, for every situation, but able this will help show what I've been trying to say.

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