Hades Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 (edited) Hey guys, it's been a few years since I tried to write a story. Bear with me if I stumble, This is a story I began writing years ago. Unfortunatley, my computer got destroyed, so it took me a bit to get the desire to rewrite it. Edited August 23, 2015 by vampire4 Link to comment
Hades Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 Not sure what happened to the font and the spacing. Sorry people. Link to comment
Amarion-Zero Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 Good job! Hoping to see it continue in the future Link to comment
Hades Posted December 1, 2014 Author Share Posted December 1, 2014 Hey guys, here is a few more chapters of the story. Just a warning, but there is a violent scene. Gotta have it to move forward. Anyway, here it is. Link to comment
Cute_Kitten Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 Oh, this is intriguing. I'm looking forward to more. Link to comment
fading.kitten Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 You seem to have a good grip on it while not muddying the story telling by confusing each character's perspective. I am really looking forward to the progression on this one. Link to comment
Hades Posted December 2, 2014 Author Share Posted December 2, 2014 Glad you like it. To be honest, i really don't. I have a bad habit if rushing stories along and i can see that i have done that already. In future chapters i hope to slow things down so readers can identify with and maybe relate to the characters im creating. Since there are multiple perspectives i will seriously try to not mix up any names. Thanks again for the encouragement. It means a lot. Link to comment
JustJoe Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 Kudos for deciding to rewrite this after loosing it. Link to comment
Hades Posted December 5, 2014 Author Share Posted December 5, 2014 CH. 8 Erica Erica woke up slowly. She was very groggy, like she had been asleep for a long time. As consciousness steadily returned, she realized she didn’t know where she was. It appeared to be a heavily wooded area, with trees every direction she looked. She was lying down on a flannel blanket and she could see the remains of some food, a half empty bottle of wine, and three people she didn’t recognize. All three were asleep as well. The man beside her was handsome. He was dressed in a nice suit, with black hair trimmed short and slicked back. Erica looked over to the two children sleeping nearby. A boy and girl, they both looked to be about six or seven. She had always wanted a boy and girl of her own. The boy seemed to be the spitting image of his father, with short black hair and similar face. He was dressed in a small suit of his own, and he had a small scowl on his face, like he was thinking of something unpleasant. Erica glanced at the little girl, whose blond hair was a striking contrast to the others. She wore a yellow sundress that seemed almost as bright as the hair on her head. Erica smiled a little when she noticed the girl had her thumb in her mouth. Link to comment
Cute_Kitten Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 An unexpected turn. I like it. Engaging plot, great characterization. I'm wondering what their new lives will hold. They seem to be more well off them their previous lives, with how they dressed for a picnic, Ericas jewels. The wine, too but then there's cheap brands of bottled wine out there so that could've been planted as a red herring. This is a fast paced story but it does not feel rushed. Every story has its own flow, and this one felt natural to the story for me. If that makes any sense. Link to comment
Hades Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share Posted December 6, 2014 Ok, I have got to stop copying and pasting from word. I swear it seems like theses chapters should be longer. It seems like it my document. Link to comment
Amarion-Zero Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Seems Good, Really looking forward to the next chapter Link to comment
Amarion-Zero Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Seems really good so far!, looking forward to see the next chapter Link to comment
Cute_Kitten Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Enjoying this ^.^ I wonder how Zekes diapering is going to go, since he's more headstrong than Ashley. Link to comment
Hades Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 CH. 12 Zeke/ Alex Blackburn Link to comment
Lil_Eevee Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 another great update can't wait for more Link to comment
Hades Posted December 12, 2014 Author Share Posted December 12, 2014 CH. 14 Erica/ Laura Blackburn Link to comment
Hades Posted December 13, 2014 Author Share Posted December 13, 2014 Sorry fir the short chapters. Part of it is due to the time constraints i have while writing. Hoping to do some serious updating this weekend. Link to comment
Hades Posted December 15, 2014 Author Share Posted December 15, 2014 CH. 15 Zeke/ Alexander Blackburn Link to comment
fading.kitten Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 The reactions of the characters are good so far. You can see the little inkling of Erica's wish for children spilling over. It should be interesting to see if there are any metaphysical consequences to going to the funeral or seeing loved ones from another life. Link to comment
Hades Posted December 19, 2014 Author Share Posted December 19, 2014 CH. 16 James/ Edward Blackburn Link to comment
Lil_Eevee Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Despite lack of comments, I would love to keep reading so long as you can keep updating Link to comment
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