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21 minutes ago, rusty pins said:

A man goes to his doctor for a follow up on his CT scan.  The doctor said, "I have good news and bad news".  The guy says, "Let me have the bad news first".  The doc says, "You have severe cancer and only about 2 weeks to live".  "Oh My God!", says the paitent.  "What's the good news then?"  The doc says, "You see my receptionist out there?  The cute blond with the big tits and perfect ass?"   "Yes yes", said his paitent.  "What about her?"  "I'm fucking her!"

I almost hated to post this one, especially since I got news yesterday that my own CT scan showed an unusual looking lymph node in or by my lung.  I had Sarcoidosis 18 years ago that caused my lymph nodes to look like that and had to have a biopsy to find what it was.  I'm getting scedualed for an ultra sound to see if that can shead more light on the subject, if not I may have to have another biopsy.  Doctor isn't worried, just has some concerns he said should be checked out.

  Doctor isn't worried, just has some concerns he said should be checked out.

Yeah like if he will get enough of that (your) insurance to make that boat payment !

Best wishes for your uneventful recovery - jokes good bad or ugly aside.

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this doctor is great and have only been to him a couple times for pulmonary and sleep apnia concerns.  With my past history of lung problems (1990's), lymph node biopsy, treatment for sarcoidosis, over weight and type 2 diabetic, it's better to play it safe.  Unusual lymph node could be nothing, it could be sarcoid or it could be Hodgkin's cancer.  With weight problems and sleep apnia I am at high risk for stroke and heart attack, especially with type 2 diabetes.  I think the concerns are very valid and need to be addressed, if nothing more than ease of mind.

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11 hours ago, rusty pins said:

A man goes to his doctor for a follow up on his CT scan.  The doctor said, "I have good news and bad news".  The guy says, "Let me have the bad news first".  The doc says, "You have severe cancer and only about 2 weeks to live".  "Oh My God!", says the paitent.  "What's the good news then?"  The doc says, "You see my receptionist out there?  The cute blond with the big tits and perfect ass?"   "Yes yes", said his paitent.  "What about her?"  "I'm fucking her!"

I almost hated to post this one, especially since I got news yesterday that my own CT scan showed an unusual looking lymph node in or by my lung.  I had Sarcoidosis 18 years ago that caused my lymph nodes to look like that and had to have a biopsy to find what it was.  I'm getting scedualed for an ultra sound to see if that can shead more light on the subject, if not I may have to have another biopsy.  Doctor isn't worried, just has some concerns he said should be checked out.

Just make sure not to eat at any casual resteraunts since from what I've seen, they cook most of the food in plastic portion bags.  (And I work in the resteraunt industry, so I can assure you that this isn't fake news)

 

For a more lighthearted joke:

What does a furry do if they lose their tail?

They go to a retail store!

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