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Bad Jokes


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A man approaches a convenience store just as the clerk is locking up. The man says, "But your sign says 'open 24 hours.'" The clerk says, "not 24 hours in a row."

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A hillbilly catches his son behind the barn masterbating.

"Junior! What the hell you doin"? You git yoursef a woman and don't let me ketch you doin thet again!"

So junior goes out and finds a woman. A couple weeks later his dad catches him out behind the barn again.

"Junior! What the hell did I tell you about thet!! You got Daisy May and she's a fine woman!"

"But Pa! Her arm gets tired!"

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A blonde and her husband were watching the evening news. A headline comes up "Two Brazilian men die in skydiving accident!"

She starts crying. Her husband says "what's wrong honey? Skydiving can be dangerous."

She replies: "Yes, but how many men are in a brazilion?"

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what do you get when you see a naked smurf? a blue moon

a truck driver delivering animals to a zoo has an accident and has to call the zoo the people at the zoo ask him how bad it is and he says "well I've got good gnu's and bad gnu's"

Three Irishmen are in a pub sitting at a table with a big window facing a brothel across the street. A Rabbi walks up and goes in and the first Irishman says "would you look at the hypocrite!". The other two Irishmen say "aye". then a minister

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