spoonchicken Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Two guys walk into a bar....the third guy ducks & keeps going 2 1 Link to comment
Bettypooh Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 A newly-hired carpenter is tossing about half his nails on the ground. The foreman sees this asks him why. He replies that the nailheads are on the wrong end of the ones he's throwing away 1 Link to comment
feralfreak Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 a horse, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar, that must have hurt. a horse, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar, arent they looking where their going? Link to comment
Guest Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 What do you call a horny stoner? A weed whacker What do call someone who cries when they masturbate? A tear jerker What do you get when you insert human DNA into a monkey? You get kicked out of the zoo Link to comment
feralfreak Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 what was the last line from the death row comedian? take my place, please! Link to comment
Rani Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Old Chinese proverb - man who eat meat and peas on same plate very unhygienic. 2 Link to comment
square_duck Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and goes, "Do you have trouble with poop sticking to your fur?" The rabbit goes, "No." And the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit. - Gilbert Gottfried Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer." Link to comment
lilJester Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 How do you make pickle bread? Dilldough 1 1 Link to comment
rusty pins Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 What's Japanese for Dirty DIaper? 2 Link to comment
spoonchicken Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I'm thinking about getting a part-time job circumsizing elephants at the zoo....the pay's not too great but the tips are huge 1 Link to comment
repetitivediaperwetter88 Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 A woman goes onto an elevator and poops her diaper. She took that Shit to a whole new level! 2 1 Link to comment
DailyDi Posted October 16, 2014 Author Share Posted October 16, 2014 Several genuine Lolz tonight! Nice jokes, keep em coming! Link to comment
Personalias Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 How do trees get pregnant? Link to comment
Repaid1 Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 A newly-hired carpenter is tossing about half his nails on the ground. The foreman sees this asks him why. He replies that the nailheads are on the wrong end of the ones he's throwing away Link to comment
Steveorstephanie Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 A skeleton walks into a bar and says to the barman, "I'll have a pint of beer and a mop please" Link to comment
square_duck Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 And then the foreman tells him "You Idiot, those are for the other side of the house". Link to comment
Guest Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 A priest, a minister, and a rabbi are out playing golf, when the people at the hole ahead of them are taking forever to tee off. They all start complaining amongst them selves when a caddy walks by, they ask what the hold up? The caddy says that they are blind, immediately, the priest says, I'm so sorry, bless them, and bless their game of golf, the minister says, oh forgive me I did not know they were blind, the rabbi says, why can't they play at night? Link to comment
BabyJune Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Link to comment
Baby Brian Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 On top of a hill sits an outhouse. There is a man running up the hill- he is Russian. There is a man walking down the hill- he is Finnish. And there is a man inside the outhouse- he is European. 1 Link to comment
darkravendl Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an alter boy! 1 Link to comment
Burp_Cup Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 What happens when the Pillsbury Doughboy mates with a Cabbage Patch Doll? 1 Link to comment
square_duck Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 Two young ducks are sitting outside on the patio and having quite the conversation. "qwack qwack qwackity qwack QWACK! " "Qwack??" "qwackity....Q*W*A*C*K!" "qwackin' qwack qwack! Then a lady yells from a window above: Hey you two watch the fowl language! 1 Link to comment
warpiper Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 Confucius say: Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger. Link to comment
rusty pins Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 What happens when the Pillsbury Doughboy mates with a Cabbage Patch Doll? Link to comment
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