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I understand that diaper use is growing by leaps and bounds. I do not know  if it is "incrementally" or "exponentially"

I'll just say it is growning excrementally

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4 hours ago, Firefly 35 said:

I'm surprised most Wal Marts don't fix fursuits - it is a retail store after all.

Because  Target already had a piece of that market

48 minutes ago, feralfreak said:

If i pour spot remover on my dog, can I make it dissappear? 

Yes, in a puff of smoke

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That would be plane to see

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21 hours ago, Apache Raccoon said:

Why did the beer bottle and window have to run in the school corridors?

Because they were late for glass

Wotta pane

 

What’s the difference in weight between a hippo and a zippo?

Ones heavy and the others a little lighter

Yeah: but which one is bic'er?

 

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I understand the astronomical telescope business is looking up

However, the LNG market is taking gas

The oragami supplies industry is folding

The tiara market is getting hairy

The cloth diaper market is as high as it can go, it's pinned!

Boston Market has food for thought

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A guy found a bottle on the beach, picked it up and started to clean it.  POOF!  Out popped a Genie who said, "You have been granted 3 wishes  There is a catch though  Your x-wife will receive 10 times what you wish for".  The fellow said, "For my first wish I want 10 million dollars.  For my second wish I want to be the most handsome guy in the world!"  The genie said, "You have one last wish".  The fellow said, "For my last wish I want a mild heart attack!" 

 

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I dunno, I think he could have stopped at #2. What do you think it would have done to his ex if she was a 10 times more handsome guy than he?

An astronaut walks into a bar and sits between 2 other guys, He has a small, 12" tall man standing on his shoulder, and orders a scotch on the rocks. The fellow on his left orders a beer and the one on his right orders a ham sandwich. When the orders are delivered the man on his shoulder runs down his arm and to the right, and pees on the sandwich, then goes to the one on the left and kicks over the beer, shouts "Fuck you all", and throws everyone a cigar

The bar tend looks at the astronaut and says "what's up with THAT"

The astronaut answers "well, do you remember the time I flew the Sirius Beta 3-day orbital mission and was lost for 36 hours. What happened was I came down in the Sahara. while waiting to be picked up, I explored a bit and found this bottle, I rubbed some of the sand off it and out popped a djinn and said "For freeing me, I will grant you one wish"

"So what did you wish for" asked the bar tender

"A foot-long prick"

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20 minutes ago, Little Christine said:

I dunno, I think he could have stopped at #2. What do you think it would have done to his ex if she was a 10 times more handsome guy than he?

Wouldn't matter! She would still be wondering what just happened when the massive heart attack did her in!

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31 minutes ago, rusty pins said:

Wouldn't matter! She would still be wondering what just happened when the massive heart attack did her in!

How would you like to be a girl and treated as a guy for 40 years. At least the heart attack would be over in 20 minutes. Now imagine this, you are used to being a gorgeous lady and you are sitting on a beach, topless and someone comes up to you with a cigarette in his mouth and says "Hey, Buddy, got a match?"

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5 minutes ago, Little Christine said:

How would you like to be a girl and treated as a guy for 40 years. At least the heart attack would be over in 20 minutes. Now imagine this, you are used to being a gorgeous lady and you are sitting on a beach, topless and someone comes up to you with a cigarette in his mouth and says "Hey, Buddy, got a match?"

LOL!

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33 minutes ago, Apache Raccoon said:

Why do supermarkets always have to clear out there junk email when they receive a shipment of luncheon meat?

Because they’ve just received a lot of spam

Image result for spam meat

 

 

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9 hours ago, Little Christine said:

How would you like to be a girl and treated as a guy for 40 years. At least the heart attack would be over in 20 minutes. Now imagine this, you are used to being a gorgeous lady and you are sitting on a beach, topless and someone comes up to you with a cigarette in his mouth and says "Hey, Buddy, got a match?"

 

9 hours ago, rusty pins said:

LOL!

And, when you say "No", he goes to the long-haired 65 year old ex-hippie with the man-boobz next to you and says "How about you, Miss?". imagine her having to live with 35 years of THAT!?!

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  • 2 weeks later...

A fellow was in the hospital and was just getting sick of the nurses always coming in and pestering him for everything from his blood pressure to taking his pills.  Finally one morning after breakfast he thought of a way to get back with one of the nasty nurses.  Instead of peeing in the urine specimen cup, he poured a little left over orange juice in it.  The nurse came in for the specimen, took one look at it and said, "This looks strange this morning".

The guy said, "Really?  Let me run it through again", and then he drank it! 

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