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You-Can't-Make-This-Stuff-Up Dept

Given what the NATIONAL ENQUIRER deals in, and is currently involved in, and who his longtime friend is and what he is like in terms of priapism, is it any surprise that the CEO of seaid scandal sheet is named David Pecker?

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38 minutes ago, Little Christine said:

You-Can't-Make-This-Stuff-Up Dept

Given what the NATIONAL ENQUIRER deals in, and is currently involved in, and who his longtime friend is and what he is like in terms of priapism, is it any surprise that the CEO of seaid scandal sheet is named David Pecker?

I thought of that yesterday when he was the subject of some interesting news stories!  Can you imagine some of these people with weird last names when they were in school?  I remember the Chicago Bears football player Ryan Wetnight.  I can imagine the teasing he got at school!  "Did you wet your bed again last night?  He He He"  "Why don't you just wear diapers to bed? Ha Ha Ha!"  Then again, as big of a football player he was, maybe he didn't get teased that much!  And my own opinion?  Anyone who publishes a rag like The National Inquirer is a pecker!

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5 hours ago, rusty pins said:

I thought of that yesterday when he was the subject of some interesting news stories!  Can you imagine some of these people with weird last names when they were in school?  I remember the Chicago Bears football player Ryan Wetnight.  I can imagine the teasing he got at school!  "Did you wet your bed again last night?  He He He"  "Why don't you just wear diapers to bed? Ha Ha Ha!"  Then again, as big of a football player he was, maybe he didn't get teased that much!  And my own opinion?  Anyone who publishes a rag like The National Inquirer is a pecker!

Same with Dick Butkus......

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1 hour ago, dyperbole said:

Same with Dick Butkus......

He has the name, but not th pedigree: Head of the most sordid bit of fake news scandal sheet and buddies with the biggest Peckerhead in thw world AND having them intertwined. Beat THAT bit of lowlife breeding

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I think one of the best names that really tops things off is a politition who was running for office in Michigan in the early 1980's.  His name was Richard Headly, and if you Google that name you will find many others.  Imagine going through life with the nickname, "Dick Head!"

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Here is a true story. During the last 8 years or so, you probably heard of a General David Zaisz (sp?) from Fall River MA born in the mid 19teens. My aunt, born in 1915 went to school with him and she told me about the biggest hoot in her class was that his name was pronounced "Zass" locally. Well morning class roll was called alphabetically, and immediately before his name was "Robert Tickle [there is a Tickle Rd in Westport Ma]" Need I tell the story further or can you figure it out? I get verification from someone whose mom was also in that class about 3 years ago

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not really a joke, but more of a riddle.

 

Anybody ever notice how we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

 

i would almost bet my soul that somebody has posted this at some point, though if not kudos to me i guess :)

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9 hours ago, raekun said:

not really a joke, but more of a riddle.

 

Anybody ever notice how we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

 

i would almost bet my soul that somebody has posted this at some point, though if not kudos to me i guess :)

In the Northeast, "Parkway" also refers to a road from which trucks are banned due to the height restrictions of some overpasses. Ever see the traffic or accident nightmare that ensues when a 13'4" high truck tries to get under a 13'1" overpass? Gordian Knot on PED's and the police can't just take a sword to it

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Teacher:  "Can someone use the word 'Definitely' in a sentance?"

Girl:  "The sky is definitely blue."

Teacher:  "No, the sky can have many colors.  White, Pink, Grey.  The word definitely has stronger meaning.  Anyone else?"

Boy:  "The grass is definitely green."

Teacher:  "Well, the grass can sometimes be yellow or brown too.  Someone else?"

Other boy:  "Teacher, does a fart have lumps?"

Teacher:  "Johnny!  No!"

Johnny:  "Then I definitely shit my pants!"

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On ‎8‎/‎28‎/‎2018 at 11:24 AM, Little Christine said:

In the Northeast, "Parkway" also refers to a road from which trucks are banned due to the height restrictions of some overpasses. Ever see the traffic or accident nightmare that ensues when a 13'4" high truck tries to get under a 13'1" overpass? Gordian Knot on PED's and the police can't just take a sword to it

No but I have heard of a truck *attempting* to go under an 11.8 bridge :)

 

 

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What do you call iron drifting in the wind?  Fe breeze!

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?  You may have graduated, but I have a lot of degrees!

Why is iron man actually a girl?  Because iron man is Fe male.

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  • 2 weeks later...
8 hours ago, rusty pins said:

When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout?  When he eats his first Brownie!

If you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind,
And you come across a girl scout who is similarly inclined,
Don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared... be prepared.

The above is from Tom Lehrer's "Be Prepared" parody.   Amusingly, this is the tamer of the lyrics, still pretty risque for 1953.   Originally, it was:
"If you’re out behind the woodshed doing what you'd like to do, just be sure that your companion is a Boy Scout too,

 

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A woman was complaining to her friend that her husband just wasn't paying much interest in her anymore in a sexual way.

Woman:   "I try everything at night but my husband just isn't interested in me anymore"

Friend     "The same thing happened to me a couple of years ago but I found a solution.  Try wearing your nighty backwards.  It really turns on my husband!"

Woman:   "Really?  I'll give it a try tonight!"

The woman goes home, her husband comes home from work, eats dinner, sits in the livingroom chair and watches TV all evening long.  Finally the woman goes into the bedroom, puts on her nighty backwards and comes out into the livingroom dancing and flirting in front of her husband.  He looks up at her and then goes back to watching the TV with no comment or interest.

Woman:    "Don't you notice anything different tonight?"

Husband:   "Yeah.  The shit stains are in front now".

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 10/5/2018 at 4:29 PM, dyperbole said:

I'm not disgruntled.  In fact, I'm quite gruntled.

There are two types of companies: Limited Liability Corporations  and Lunatic Led Catastrophies

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