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Best black friday deals:

Blowout sale at Bambino diapers

Liquidation sale at city ice house

Explosively good deals at Blue Rhino propane

50% off all Chevy cars this weekend.  Don't wait until this opportunity rolls away!                   *distant crash*

And best of all:

Get pre-approved for a loan at Chase Bank!  Our options will capture your interest all year long!

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  • 2 weeks later...

"Keep your little girl dry: NO MORE WETTING; dial 555,894- DRYBED and ask for 'Nurse Rachel'" said the adi in the paper. Three mothers took it up and met at the place where they were directed to, and were introduced to "Nurse Rachel", then conducted to a room where....

NURSE RACHEL to firt mother: What is your little girl's name
FIRST MOTHER Elisabeth
NURSE RACHEL Well, we have a "Betsy Wetsy"

NURSE RACHEL to seocnd lady: What is your little girl's name
SECOND MOTHER Michelle
NRUSE RACHEL: Well, we have a "Smelly Shelley". So we have a Betsy Wetsy and a Smelly Shelley"

The thier lady took her little girl's hand and started for the door saying "Come on, let's go, Christina"

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  • 3 weeks later...

Did you hear about the hairstylist who was so dumb, she decided to switch from shampoo to the real thing?

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Chevy now presents the SputterClunk!  Now even better than both the Chevy Nova and the Ford Exploder.  Get yours today and get a free can of starter fluid!*

 

* First can only.  Many more will be required.

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I went to a Cathlic school in Liverpool. It was run by the sisters of Mersey

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On 1/5/2018 at 3:03 PM, Alvin Seville said:

Why does every country in the world need diapers?

Because there all in continents 

Ha! That's a good one! Why is it in the Bad Jokes thread? Is it simply because we don't have a Good Jokes thread? Should somebody start one?

Nah, this is fine. :)

Why can't red bugs be alcoholics?

Because Chiggers can't be Boozers. :D

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What few persons know is that, in 1951, a leading American "crooner" was charged with an unusual crime. Grand theft auto, and thefit of some valuable bat guano. The car was an American Motors Statesman. The headline read "Crosby Steals Nash and Dung"

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Unfortunatly, Christine, you have all the younger people scratching their heads to figure this one out!  "Crosby?  Whats that?  Nash?  Don't understand!"  They probably think "Nash and Dung" are a country music duo!

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3 hours ago, rusty pins said:

Unfortunatly, Christine, you have all the younger people scratching their heads to figure this one out!  "Crosby?  Whats that?  Nash?  Don't understand!"  They probably think "Nash and Dung" are a country music duo!

I guess it's getting to the point where I'm no fun anymore

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44 minutes ago, Little Christine said:

I guess it's getting to the point where I'm no fun anymore

LOL!  Even the 30 year olds may not know who Crosby Stills Nash and Young were!  I'm old enough to remember when David Crosby was a member of The Byrds!  By the way, for the confused younger generation, Bing Crosby was a very famous singer and movie actor commonly called a "crooner" because of his singing style.  Nash was a make of automobile popular in the 1950's.

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I do not know what 30 year olds may or may not know. Our oldies, since 1955 have been treated much more kindly than those before us. YouTube's Musicprof has extensive postings of music from the late 1950's and early '60's. Who does not know Elvis Presly or the Beatles?

When CSN was formed (before Young joined) I was 23

I saw McGuinn's werk before the Byrds with the Chad Mitchell Trio in '62 (Lizzie Borden) and '63 (the John Birch Society) and it was from the Byrds that I learned about the 12-string guitar, whcih I just HAD to have and have been identified with since 1968, along with the combo organ (portable electronic organ like Vox and Farfisa). I can be found in the Music Producers Club

But there are plenty of places where 1960's music can be found on the internet, like YouTube

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Love 60's music! 

A guy was in a very bad car accident and woke up in a room in the hospital with a doctor looking down at him.

"What happened?", the fellow asked

"You were in a very bad car accident and I had to operate on you", replied the doctor.

"How am I?" the paitent asked.

"Well, I have good news and bad news", said the doctor.

"Give me the bad news first".

"Well", said the doctor, "We had to amputate both your legs below the knee".

"Oh GOD!"  the paitent cried.  After a few minutes he asked, "What's the good news?"

"That fellow in the next bed over wants to buy your boots!"
 

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A man goes to his doctor for a follow up on his CT scan.  The doctor said, "I have good news and bad news".  The guy says, "Let me have the bad news first".  The doc says, "You have severe cancer and only about 2 weeks to live".  "Oh My God!", says the paitent.  "What's the good news then?"  The doc says, "You see my receptionist out there?  The cute blond with the big tits and perfect ass?"   "Yes yes", said his paitent.  "What about her?"  "I'm fucking her!"

I almost hated to post this one, especially since I got news yesterday that my own CT scan showed an unusual looking lymph node in or by my lung.  I had Sarcoidosis 18 years ago that caused my lymph nodes to look like that and had to have a biopsy to find what it was.  I'm getting scedualed for an ultra sound to see if that can shead more light on the subject, if not I may have to have another biopsy.  Doctor isn't worried, just has some concerns he said should be checked out.

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21 minutes ago, rusty pins said:

A man goes to his doctor for a follow up on his CT scan.  The doctor said, "I have good news and bad news".  The guy says, "Let me have the bad news first".  The doc says, "You have severe cancer and only about 2 weeks to live".  "Oh My God!", says the paitent.  "What's the good news then?"  The doc says, "You see my receptionist out there?  The cute blond with the big tits and perfect ass?"   "Yes yes", said his paitent.  "What about her?"  "I'm fucking her!"

I almost hated to post this one, especially since I got news yesterday that my own CT scan showed an unusual looking lymph node in or by my lung.  I had Sarcoidosis 18 years ago that caused my lymph nodes to look like that and had to have a biopsy to find what it was.  I'm getting scedualed for an ultra sound to see if that can shead more light on the subject, if not I may have to have another biopsy.  Doctor isn't worried, just has some concerns he said should be checked out.

  Doctor isn't worried, just has some concerns he said should be checked out.

Yeah like if he will get enough of that (your) insurance to make that boat payment !

Best wishes for your uneventful recovery - jokes good bad or ugly aside.

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this doctor is great and have only been to him a couple times for pulmonary and sleep apnia concerns.  With my past history of lung problems (1990's), lymph node biopsy, treatment for sarcoidosis, over weight and type 2 diabetic, it's better to play it safe.  Unusual lymph node could be nothing, it could be sarcoid or it could be Hodgkin's cancer.  With weight problems and sleep apnia I am at high risk for stroke and heart attack, especially with type 2 diabetes.  I think the concerns are very valid and need to be addressed, if nothing more than ease of mind.

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