Hello!

[Joey_AB_DL]

I joined a few days ago, and have posted a few times, but felt I should introduce myself. I am a straight white male, age 34, Married 12 years, one 9 y/o child. I enjoy Boating, fishing, Kayaking, camping, and just about everything involved with the outdoors.

I have struggled with my DL obsesion for many years. As a young child (4 through 7). I would poop my pants, not due to medical reasons, but due to lazyness. My parents used to threaten to put me back in pampers. I was alway curious about the idea. I first discovered the urge when I was about 6 and I was spending the night at a friends house who had a younger brother. I was obsessed with the stack of Pampers, and I had to touch and feel them on my skin. I always used to have the strange desires when I would see baby diapers. As a teenager, about 13, I stayed at a family friend's house who also had a baby. During the evening, I discovered that the room I was sleeping in had stacks of diapers. I couldn't refuse, so I started trying them on. I was instantly aroused and hooked. When I got older and I had the ability to drive legally, I would sneak out and buy Pampers at the local grocery store and hide them in my room and wear them at night when everyone in the house was asleep. I felt so weird and thought I was a freak. My high school girl friend worked at a day care, one time we were arguing about the lack of time spent together and she sarcastically asked if I was a baby and needed her to change my diaper. I was never so turned on. I should have accepted, but I didn't and we have long since broken up. After joining the Army, I played a bit with diapers, but always felt guilty and dirty afterwards, so I would swear off the idea, and return. I finally got out of the Army and my current wife and I had our daughter. I was so afraid of the idea and subject, I refused to change my daughter's diapers and wouldn't even touch them. Of course, my wife still doesn't know about the fetish. The past few years I have researched ABDL online and found that there are others like me and it actually has a name. During business trips I endulge my fetish and get to wear, I even role play online (much more enjoyable when wearing).

I can't count the number of times I have endulged and felt guilty and dirty and subsequently sworn off the fetish. I love my wife and family dearly. We have a happy and extremely healthy relationship (adventurous even). As adventurous as it is, I have never brought up the idea or topic of ABDL. I guess I am always waiting for a perfect moment, but it will probably never occur. I feel I will probably take this fetish to my grave.

I don't know exactly what I am looking for. Sometimes I wish I could just seperate this part of me from my life and be done with it. Other times I enjoy my play time and see nothing wrong with it. There are times I tell myself I need psychiatric help in just dealing with it.

I have only found one ABDL in Savannah, recently I met a young lady online and we have chatted via e-mail back and forth. I enjoy chatting, and roll playing online the AB or DL lifestyle. However, may times I have been aproached by the hardcore types, especially males, and that scares the heck out of me. They can be quite agressive. It is incidents like that that have made dealing with this and accepting my fetish very hard.

I will be lurking in these pages, learning and having fun. I hope to chat with many of you and get to know more about the lifestyle, the people who enjoy it, and subsequently, learn more about myself.

Thanks

Joey

[CDLover]

Welcome Boatingfool...

Glad you have found the site. You have probably noticed that many ABDL's have had the same problem with guilt, etc. over their desires to wear diapers. Hopefully, you can learn from them that the guilt is not productive and that the desire to wear is a part of who you are. It would be nice if there was an easy answer for this, but I suppose as with much of life, self acceptance is some of the hardest work we do.

Enjoy your stay here.

Thanks for sharing.

CDL