Writing what you DON'T know

[DailyDi]

I've never had much interest with sex, and when I am horny I find my hand to be enough to deal with it. Mostly I believe myself to be asexual, though my rare occasional sexual thoughts lean towards homosexuality - though a shrink suggested this may be just because my only sexual experiences have been with men (the first not consensual or I'd likely still be a virgin.)

[Nat]

I go by with what I have read. Doing research helps and read what people think about a topic and read about personal experiences with it. I will put in other peoples opinions and their views when I write. I have written stuff before but never posted it online and I decided to throw in transgender sex and throw in homosexuality. I hear you can't really write about something if you have never experienced it or otherwise it won't be realistic and it might make it hard for readers to relate despite having the same experience. I never had a sister growing up but I put one in my story anyway because I used to wish I had a sister growing up. To me having a sister was no different than having a brother and I have never shared a room before but my character in the story did with her sister. To me writing is based on fantasy and I try to make things realistic. I also put in my real feelings and experience, real thoughts too. I will sometimes put in other things I have no interest in because everyone is different and I want different people in my stories. Sometimes it does get tricky if you have never experienced something because you don't know what the real life consequences would be and what the penalty will be and the cost so it's best to not have it happen in your story. Like I don't understand Bipolar really and how it affects someone so I may never write about it except mention someone having it and that's it. I can write about someone being a diabetic because my dad is so I see how someone with it can still live a normal life and be perfectly healthy and okay and not have to have a restricted diet like Stacey did in The Babysitters Club books.

[WakkoWannaBe]

I can't really say much about writing what you don't know. But I can say that everything you said about being asexual and homosexual (except for the forced situation) is exactly how I feel and that makes me happy. So: yay for being you!

[DailyDi]

Thanks Wakko. Quite a few asexuals here. Makes me wonder if our lack of sexual desire makes us crave that which made us emotionally satisfied as a child.

[Bettypooh]

I think that's part of it, yet many of us have almost no AB connection, like moi There's something else to it- in my case, it seems that I need all the emotional stuff but not the sex itself. Too bad that so much of the 'adult' world seems to be driven mostly by sex and not the rest of what life is comprised of I've often wondered what would happen in a couple if their partner suddenly became unable to have sex in any form, but was otherwise unaffected- would they stay together anyway? If not, how could sex be more important than the partner which is what the whole thing is supposed to be about? Sex is insane; perhaps that's what makes us so different!

[BoTox]

Writing what you have no experience in can be a challenge. As an astute mimic, I personally observe and read about a subject to become familiar with it. There are things I put in my stories I've never experienced but I've had people ask me how it was when it happened to me as if they were autobiographical. If you believe in the content you write, it is real enough that you feel it. As fantasies go, anything is possible.