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DLmach

How to get partner to switch roles?

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I met a girl about a month ago who was willing to try diapers. Within 5 minutes of meeting we got right into it. She ended up liking it, a lot, and now she wears on her own. Our 'relationship' is all sexual. I consider both of us DL's, although we have some AB tendencies when we play (I give her bottles and pacifiers), but only she wears. At first it was great for me, but now I'm starting to want more. I wore last time we played, but she doesn't really like when I wear because it makes her feel less submissive. I would consider myself a switch, so I wish she would enjoy participating in the other role, or even a mutual role. How can I try to get her to switch?

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Some people can't.

I don't buy that at all. Some people don't want to..that doesn't mean they can't. Its a choice, just like they CHOSE to act submissive.

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No, really, some people probably can't. Each person has their own style, and if they go against that style it is really awkward. They would really have to work at it. My wife really does not do the dominant thing. It works best for her when she tries the loving mommy angle. She tends to be extremely permissive though, which is her nature. If you then turn around and demand too much, their self defenses will kick in and they will feel hurt.

Now on the other hand, my wife is a spectacular sub. She fits into that role very easily and naturally.

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There's nothing quite as submissive as anal sex.  I think you just might get away with being the only one in diapers if that's what she has to look forward to.

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The other thing you might try is to make being on top more appealing, even a reward.  Here's how:  Diaper her and just leave her that way, having inserted a suppository to relieve her constipation, and giving her plenty of water to keep her well hydrated.  After several hours, that cozy, thick diaper that makes her feel like daddy's little girl is going to have her feeling humiliated, taken advantage of, and vengeful.  You'll get yours, buddy, but you'll have to piss her off first, I'm afraid.

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I don't think it works that way. You can't provoke someone to change their nature. That does not work with my wife. I pull back her diaper and spank her until her butt is red and she's sobbing, but that has never provoked a vengeful reaction. She typically just begs for more.

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I don't think it works that way. You can't provoke someone to change their nature. That does not work with my wife. I pull back her diaper and spank her until her butt is red and she's sobbing, but that has never provoked a vengeful reaction. She typically just begs for more.

 

I can definitely see her begging for more spanking, light pain being what she craves.  It's how her brain is wired.  But very few people's, particularly women's, brains are wired to delight in humiliation, being forced to sit in her own waste until who knows when?!  Trust me, when she realizes your game is she doesn't know when daddy's going to change her, not only will she not like it, she will find pleasure in returning the favor.  Kinda like with my wife, if I want anal sex, she puts a butt plug in me.

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Well, your milage may vary, but typically torturing someone into torturing you back isn't exactly a sign of a healthy relationship.

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I don't buy that at all. Some people don't want to..that doesn't mean they can't. Its a choice, just like they CHOSE to act submissive.

Some people are able to choose between Dom(me)/Sub.  Those people are called Switches.  But there are also a lot of people who only have one side or the other.  My very nature is submissive.  I have broken down crying because Mommy has told me that it's my turn to be in control and she'll do whatever I want, and I panicked.  And I'm the same way outside the bedroom, I just don't have it in me to be at all dominant.  I feel bad sometimes, because Mommy is a Switch and she has needs that I feel like I can't take care of.  I can do the things she needs me to do if she tells me to first (sometimes), but on my own I just can't.

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here is an idea-instead of ruining the relationship by FORCING something on her-why not talk about it, TELL HER what you would like, and compromise.

If she is not really into being the dominant one, give her a chance to learn slowly for you.

 

If she truly does have trouble-due to feel embarrassed or nervous about doing it right, why not take a few sessions and TEACH HER.

give her gentle guidance in how she can play along for you.

 

If she loves you and enjoys having fun with you, she will try to make you happy by learning a few things.

Don't expect her to be a pro right off, set her up to make you happy.

 

By doing it like that- you  will be able to have a much more fulfilling experience-for BOTH of you.

SHE will still get to have that feeling of being submissive while your teaching her  the first few times, and she will also  be more likely to initiate  because she will be more likely to enjoy herself-thus YOU will get to have the fantasy YOU want as well.

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here is an idea-instead of ruining the relationship by FORCING something on her-why not talk about it, TELL HER what you would like, and compromise.

If she is not really into being the dominant one, give her a chance to learn slowly for you.

 

If she truly does have trouble-due to feel embarrassed or nervous about doing it right, why not take a few sessions and TEACH HER.

give her gentle guidance in how she can play along for you.

 

If she loves you and enjoys having fun with you, she will try to make you happy by learning a few things.

Don't expect her to be a pro right off, set her up to make you happy.

 

By doing it like that- you  will be able to have a much more fulfilling experience-for BOTH of you.

SHE will still get to have that feeling of being submissive while your teaching her  the first few times, and she will also  be more likely to initiate  because she will be more likely to enjoy herself-thus YOU will get to have the fantasy YOU want as well.

 

This is what I plan on doing. I brought up the idea of her dominating before but didn't push it. Problem is we don't have a relationship other than this..its 100% sexual. I'm open to making it a little more than that, but I don't want to ruin what we have now. I think she is just afraid of not doing a good job as a dom. I'm just looking for any insight on the best way to get her to try it and enjoy it. I'm not the best dom myself..this is the first time I've been doing roleplaying like this, and nor would I be the best sub..so I need to work on some ideas to make it easy on both of us.

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I would suggest grabbing a piece of paper and writing some key words/actions down that would turn you on,  play out a bit of a fantasy in your mind of how youd LIKE for things to go. maybe she says something that would REALLY turn you on, or maybe theirs a single action that would do it for you, try to narrow it down to a few real body quivering moments and teach her HOW to do those little things for you and build up from there.

 

Maybe start out having her simply say

"Are you mommies naughty little baby?"

or

"did you wet your diaper again?"

 

Keep it simple to begin with, maybe something as simple as having her check your diaper would work and she could learn to get the hang of the role.

with Confedence, it will make her much more eager to try it again and be more willing to take the role farther then your asking.

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I would suggest grabbing a piece of paper and writing some key words/actions down that would turn you on,  play out a bit of a fantasy in your mind of how youd LIKE for things to go. maybe she says something that would REALLY turn you on, or maybe theirs a single action that would do it for you, try to narrow it down to a few real body quivering moments and teach her HOW to do those little things for you and build up from there.

 

Maybe start out having her simply say

"Are you mommies naughty little baby?"

or

"did you wet your diaper again?"

 

Keep it simple to begin with, maybe something as simple as having her check your diaper would work and she could learn to get the hang of the role.

with Confedence, it will make her much more eager to try it again and be more willing to take the role farther then your asking.

Thats a good idea, I will definitely try that. I've already been planning out and trying different scenarios for her enjoyment. So far its been working really well.

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I would suggest grabbing a piece of paper and writing some key words/actions down that would turn you on,  play out a bit of a fantasy in your mind of how youd LIKE for things to go. maybe she says something that would REALLY turn you on, or maybe theirs a single action that would do it for you, try to narrow it down to a few real body quivering moments and teach her HOW to do those little things for you and build up from there.

 

Maybe start out having her simply say

"Are you mommies naughty little baby?"

or

"did you wet your diaper again?"

 

Keep it simple to begin with, maybe something as simple as having her check your diaper would work and she could learn to get the hang of the role.

with Confedence, it will make her much more eager to try it again and be more willing to take the role farther then your asking.

This is fantastic advice. I'm going to run with this idea and try to get my wife to participate (she knows I'm DL but isn't into it)

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Ok so I finally have an update. I mentioned switching roles again. This time she agreed to it, but only after I dominate her again once more (we haven't played in awhile). I just basically started asking her about what she would do if she decided to switch. I think just her talking about it made her get into the whole idea. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing where this goes.

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There's nothing quite as submissive as anal sex.  I think you just might get away with being the only one in diapers if that's what she has to look forward to.

As messed up as your posts are (I don't necessarily mean that in a bad way), its funny you mention that. I never mentioned that she has dominated guys before, but never really switched back and forth with them. She says that she needs some form of ass play to make it enjoyable for her. However, she said she wouldn't ask me to try anything.

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Attack it from this point of view. Have her rationalize what she is doing as submission to your needs and wants. That's how I get my wife who is my collard submissive to not feel like she's "dominating" me with my diapers. Instead she is submitting to my needs.

G'luck.

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