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Introduction to Androgyny... (Why I Want to be Andro)


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This is why I don't usually watch movies - or at least not (most) modern American ones. They all have - imo - the same basic archetypal plot, and they use this stereotype of both men and women that just makes me go "lolwut?" Totally not worth spending 10 dollars on, so I just stay away from that mess.

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Hi ironclad,

I get what you're saying, and I understand how frustrating it may seem. But it's only so if you allow it to be so. What Freswith said is also very true..

There is a song called "sex" by Berlin about this very thing. A friend of mine HATED this song because it's just so one sided. The woman gets to be everything, while the man is just left being a man ...BORING! and also unbalanced. At least here in the AB/DL community us 'men' can be men, but also little boys, babies (if thats your thing) or diaper lovers, and a variety in between. This also extends beyond the bedroom and sex in general, but as a perception of each other as they wish to be seen at any particular time. Heres the lyrics:

http://www.songlyrics.com/berlin/sex-lyrics/

If you have never heard this before, give it a listen..I'm not sure if they are making fun of society or making a 'social commentary' about gender relations, or what ever.

Anyway, the other thing is, as Betty said, you just have to be you and don't worry about anything else. Society in general has it's collective head up it's ass, and many of us know this :P I don't listen to advertising, or read billboards or any of the other crap they try to ram down everyones throats. Fashion to me is a joke..all the "you should do this or that' etc makes me sick. I am who and what I am and i'm happy with it, to hell with what other people think or say. they don't live MY life, they aren't in my skin, they don't know what I know or have MY experiances or thoughts or feelings.. so where do they get off telling ME how to live or what "I:" should be doing with my life etc..

On the topic of songs, another comes to mind by the Rolling Stones called "satisfaction" there is a line in it that goes "you can't be a man 'cause you don't smoke the same cigarettes that I do" I mean....come on! REALLY???? Shit!

If you are uncomfortable with the whole social view of gender, you have to go back a few milliena to the Romans and Greeks and beyond, and even into nature, and the animal world. Male and female rolls/ perceptions are what they are due to circumstances that date back to ancient times. Woman were viewed as 'lesser' simply because of their size and constrction. In nature, historically, the female is smaller in size and construction. thats just the way it is..basically. Yes you have your Amazons and larger build people, but thats not the "Norm or "mean" on average women are smaller, and built for having and raising children, and taking care of al the domestic chores while men are built heavier / stockier for doing other things like farming, digging, building, handling heavy jobs,and even (unfortunately) combat when needed. Thats the way it has been practically since time began, and having to live in an agrarian, farm based (or hunter gatherer) society.

Move forward a few thousand (or more depending on how far back you want to go) years, and you have social structure changes. Moving from an Agrarian/ farming society, to a more rural / urban society where rolls change, labor changes, but perception doesn't. Women are still pretty much built the same, but social opportunities have changed. Urban and City life offers different things, and women aren't chained to being baby makers and caregivers, but with more education opportunities, they can be almost what ever they want...baring the social 'glass ceiling'.

Today, we have female CEO's,running corporations and creating their own, and succeeding! :D Women are in government and even just recently allowed to be involved in combat with the military. Heaven help an enemy who comes across a female soldier with PMS and am M-16 :P (that was a joke :blush: )

Where I'm going with this is this, Society is what it is because of thousands of years of the same perception about gender based on thinking that goes back to the caveman. period. yes it can change over time, but thats not your responsibility or fault, you are who you are because of your assembly of genes upon conception, and not of your choosing. So you just be 'YOU" and don't worry about what other people say or do, screw 'em. You like mechanical stuff and heavy machinery..GREAT! :D that means you can talk to a lot of other guys who like that kind of stuff too...like me! You don't mind getting your hands dirty working on stuff...AWESOME. All that stuff is interesting and fun!

The think that bothers me is that you are allowing ancient social beliefs and stereotypes to determine what

you 'look like' your female...enjoy it! I am sure you look great in greasy or dirty cover alls as well as what ever you wear when (if) you dress up for a night out...if you do that :blush: I am assuming you also have a 'girly' side, but I could be wrong, so forgive me.

The decision for try and 'bury' your female gender and become more 'neutral' is bothersome because I see it as hurtful and that you are bothered and hurt by social perception of females and don't want to have anything to do with it, and thats OK, but don't hurt yourself in the process. Reject social pressures and perceptions, be who you are, female anyways and SUCCEED at being who and what you are, INSPITE of everything else.

One quote that I have on my signature I have found to be very true.

It doesn't matter what happens to you, whats important is what you do (or how you react to it) about it.

The interesting thing about your choice is that you become 'neutral' and neither (visually male or female) and that REALLY freaks people out :o they literally don't know how to treat you or what to 'DO'

There was a movie with a character like this called "It's Pat" and the main character was androgynous and no one know what to do. I never saw it but heard a few things...I imagine it was both funny and awkward. If you didn't see it you might check it out ;) Being androgynous will tend to set people on their ear, and it might be fun....but what are YOU saying about yourself?? " I am androgynous...I am sexless...I AM DIFFERENT" that tends to scare a lot of people and threaten their sense of 'normalcy' they wont know what to think or do, and it creates uncertainty and fear, so you also have to be prepared for reprisals from the more aggressive 'fear mongers' who can't see beyond what you project. this is where I am worried about you getting hurt, both emotionally, and potentially physically, because people in general don't like others who project a "different' life choice. yeah this is the 21st century, but people in general are still idiots and essentially stupid brainless animals :P

So...ummm I hope this helps in some round about why. I just hope that in your anger and frustration regarding social views of gender you don't end up taking it out on yourself and getting hurt along the way.

{{{{{{HUGS!!}}}} if it helps.. :)

qwack

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Ever heard of Erin Brockovich? Talk about driving around an SUV and taking all the glory of the movie, (which is really good movie btw).

It depends which movie you watch in which the characters lives will be depicted. It's not like every single script that passes through hollywood first passes through some social calibrater which convert-stereotypes every film into a typical white fenced family with a bread winner dad and a stay home mom. Every story is different.

Yah there might be some similarities but that's show business. Good artists copy, great artists steal.

....

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