please help

[needhelp]

Hello,

[Walesiswet]

Hi needhelp,

[needhelp]

hello walesiswet.

[Zander]

Well, there are many points raised here, so lets have a go...

[needhelp]

thank you for your help,

[Zander]

i am calling the private skype sessions where he wants to talk an look at women for a sexual need.. i am calling that cheating.

While I agree that's downright disrespectful and would be (is) very upsetting (i.e. sexual skype sessions with others) - its not cheating. Please don't get me wrong here: personally I wouldn't stand for it if my partner were to engage in that kind of practice and I too would be seriously upset and offended by it. I'm just trying to point out the different "red lines" here that only you can decide which are relationship-killers.

I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that you might still be able to salvage your relationship if you can get him to stop doing the Skype-with-other-women thing that is so upsetting to you. This is somewhat different to him actually cheating (i.e. actually being physically intimate with someone else), in as such that I expect you would (rightly) view that as firm red-line that it would be impossible for your relationship to continue after (indeed, most relationships fall apart and never recover from cheating if its found out). Vice-versa, you don't seem to have a problem with him viewing porn of other women in diapers, which other people may view as a 'red-line' that you don't.

I agree with you that what he's doing is unacceptable - but only you can make the call about if you'll be able to rebuild trust in him and carry on with your relationship if he does change.

[Hookedondiapers]

You may have already done this, but if not, it might be worth a try.

[Bettypooh]

An old friend (now RIP) once told me that just after he got married, his wife jumped on him for looking at other women, especially when ashe was present. His response was that women are the most beautiful things to see in this world and that he was not going to stop looking- but that he wasn't going to do any more than that. It must have worked because they were married over 40 years when he died.

[Walesiswet]

hello walesiswet.

[Dill_Pickle]

I. Am with HookedOnDiapers...sexting is sex, and that's cheating on the relationship. Anything he says online involving sex or diapers should be shareable with everyone, or not shared at all.

I am reminded of "The Advice Goddess", in a column years ago, where she tells a guy that a final lap dance is absolutely the wrong way to express his commitment to a gal who isn't the one doing the lap dance. I see the same here....the guy just hasn't let go of his old flames. My wife looks up my ex every few years...I let her tell me about the ex.

Now, my wife's ex is a completely different story...he mows my lawn, and I help him out, most recently with a dehumidifier that didn't want to drain into a hose. But I very much understand why my wife couldn't live with him....the trailer he lives in is really beyond repair, and we are discussing running a new outlet for an air conditioner.