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The Psychology Behind Incontinence Desire


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I went through something similar in my later childhood where I was the only guy in the house :( It had something to do with my gender difference but those seeds were already planted and growing- I just had to find them among all the weeds I sowed as a male :P My diapers were a physical need that was never fulfilled as a child- I was still sometimes wetting my pants into my teens and my bed into my twenties :angry: All of what I am was at least partially formed by what the world around me did to me as I grew up. I was never anywhere near normal no matter how hard I tried to be and that was almost never handled well :crybaby: I was born too early to be a techie-geek which I think I'd have been if I were born a decade later- no avenue for those kinds of differences existed then like they do now ;) So here in late adulthood all of what is still left inside of me has emerged and I have become comfortable enough in my skin to handle it B)

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I went through something similar in my later childhood where I was the only guy in the house :( It had something to do with my gender difference but those seeds were already planted and growing- I just had to find them among all the weeds I sowed as a male :P My diapers were a physical need that was never fulfilled as a child- I was still sometimes wetting my pants into my teens and my bed into my twenties :angry: All of what I am was at least partially formed by what the world around me did to me as I grew up. I was never anywhere near normal no matter how hard I tried to be and that was almost never handled well :crybaby: I was born too early to be a techie-geek which I think I'd have been if I were born a decade later- no avenue for those kinds of differences existed then like they do now ;) So here in late adulthood all of what is still left inside of me has emerged and I have become comfortable enough in my skin to handle it B)

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Lots of good points and it really resonates with me personally. I hate being yelled at, try real hard and hate failing. Growing up, my biggest failure was wet and messy pants and I got yelled at for it and just wished I was expected to be in diapers and allowed to be a baby.

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Lots of good points and it really resonates with me personally. I hate being yelled at, try real hard and hate failing. Growing up, my biggest failure was wet and messy pants and I got yelled at for it and just wished I was expected to be in diapers and allowed to be a baby.

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  • 6 months later...

I have been a wannabe incontinent ever since I discovered a friend from elementary school needed to wear diapers due to a birth defect (open bladder). I have never been really interested in girls, boys or plain sex. But seeing this boy wearing his diaper and leaking without him knowing had a tremendous impact on me. In fact, the thought of me incontinent in diapers was the first fantasy I climaxed on. And it still is......

After this trigger event this sexual fantasy has driven me to find a way to become incontinent. And after many years of experimenting I have found the perfect way. And the funny thing is, I only like being incontinent part time. Therefore I am pretty sure I don't have some sort of BIID, it's just a sexual kinky thing.

Instead of wanting to have sex with a woman I simply insert my stent and fully enjoy my incontinent body for a few days. I start by putting on underwear and jeans trying hard not to pee but nonetheless I start wetting uncontrollably after a few moments. Then I know I have to put on a diaper and look at myself in the mirror watching my diaper slowly getting wet. I like going out in public being aware of my wet diaper all the time.

My stent allows me to feel the pee flowing out of my sensive parts which can be quite sexual arousing for me when I am in the presence of an attractive female. I find the idea that only my jeans keep her unaware of my embarrasing off-putting secret very exciting. I think it makes me feel very submissive to her, without her even knowing it. And to be honest I don't want her to know, because incontinence is something you need to hide.

My incontinence both confirms and explains my lack of sexual interest in women/men at the same time. The diaper I need to wear is my chastity device but also my sexual satisfying fetish object. I know my sex life is complicated and sometimes a little lonely, but most of the times I realise this is the only way I enjoy playing with my private parts. Why should I stop doing this when I like it so much and it doesn't harm anyone?

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 4 years later...
8 hours ago, mahleedl said:

Resurrection!!!

 

Though I have to say, it’s a good thread to resurrect, lol!

@mahleedl

Absolutely. I began this journey into voluntarily incontinence back in 2013, almost 5 years ago, and today after being in diapers for almost 5 years. I still haven't lost interest nor stepped away from the desire to become incontinent. Already back when I took the decision to revert back into full time diaper wearing, I was already mentally diaper dependent, still working on the psychical aspect. However being back in diapers provides me with a feeling of security, comfort and most importantly peace of mind.

sure I envy those who claim that they succeeded (In a positive way), because they achieved something I also strive for, and still does.

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I’m right there with ya, Inconito!  I went 24/7 just over 5 years ago.  I have never fully achieved the holy grail (plenty of shades of gray, though), but I’ve also never looked back.  Despite numerous challenges along the way, I am a happier person for accepting who I am.  I would have it no other way.  

 

 

MDL

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For me having to wear nappies and being incontinent somehow just feels right to me. I slipped back in to nightly bedwetting just like being reunited with a long lost friend. Now six years on and I am never dry at night and couldn't be happier. I have little control over my bladder during the day and wear nappies all the time and honestly couldn't be happier. Some o us are just meant to be this way.

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  • 3 weeks later...

So...how do you maintain the desire?  I have always been amazed that people can just start into diapers full time and not look back.

I find that after as few weeks I fall off the wagon only to have the need and want return a week or so later with a vengeance (and feeling angry at myself for stopping again).

I then have to start again having lost my progress.  I need a way to break through that wall to stay 24/7.  Starting and stopping and planning are eating too much of my time.  I need to set things in motion and let them run their course.

Maybe this should be a new post?

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Yeah this is always the issue.  Let’s face it we don’t really need the diaper right?  We just want it. 

Im like you.  I wear diapers for convenience.  I have a job I travel all day.  The stopping to urinate and breaking out of customer meeting was driving me crazy. 

So a couple of years ago it started to try diapers. This was a long conversation between my wife and me.  So I bough a pack and started my days wearing them. Took a while to get myself to pee in them. Then after a few weeks got easier.  Now the frustration of the diaper set in after the third week. I though I need to stop worrying about this.  

My wife did not let me stop.  She knew how much it was making my life hard not being diapers. I pushed through for the next week. 

It was hard at first but now I have accepted it. I wear till I go to bed. Life is easier. Maybe because I don’t desire them?  I use them for convenience?  

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Being the youngest kid out of a family of three I have been into diapers for about as long as I can remember. I know I was potty trained by the age of two and a half years old absolutely back in diapers by the age of four years old. I have very strong memories about me being in diapers at a young age. Even back then I loved the feeling of wearing a wet diaper but since I was already potty trained my mom didn’t appreciate it if I wetted my diapers but I was allowed to wear at night and every so now and then during the day as well if I asked for them. A lot of years went by and meanwhile me wearing diapers went from being allowed too into secrecy however the feeling of wearing and using my diaper for its intended purpose stayed with me throughout the years and never really vanished. Only when my parents were out of the house I felt free to use them I had to wash and dry them afterwards as I only wore cloth diapers at that time. Fast forward a whole lot of years again. My feelings about diapers changed over the years and seem to intensify I really, really wanted to wear 24/7 and use them accordingly. I started to wear 24/7 some twenty years ago and at the same time the dormant desire to wet the diapers uncontrollably became stronger and stronger. Call it a twist of fate. I order my diapers and plastic pants in Germany (Save Express) for the mentioned company has a wide selection of diapers plastic pants and a whole lot more like catheters. Although I had an increasingly strong desire to wet my diapers without control I was never able to achieve my goal maybe I had the wrong mindset. I had an order coming in and they messed up at Save’s. There was a box with five catheters included in my order something is didn’t order, it simply never crossed my mind that that would be something to simulate the feeling of incontinence without actually being incontinent. Since I didn’t order them I had no clue about its potential but it didn’t stay that way for long. I searched on google how to install one and once I did I was instantly hooked on wetting without control. Initially my body responded violently to the catheter I gave me a lot of cramp but as I persisted  an increased the usage of the catheter the cramp faded away. Although I never had a UIT I noticed that one couldn’t keep the catheter in for a very long time and aside of that I couldn’t feel myself pee I simply had to change my diaper for it was soaked at one time or another. I came across an entry on one of the Dutch forums from Cathdiaper. He figured out how to make a stent and I simply loved the thought of using a stent and actually feel yourself pee. I was able to obtain all the necessary components and I started to build one myself using the design form Cathdaiper as a template. I needed a couple of attempts but I didn’t take me too long to make one that actually worked for me. Over the years I kept working the design to tweak it to my likings and that is what it is right now. I can feel myself wet without any control, I can wear it weeks in a row and above all I have no indication of bacterial growth what so ever. Last but not least If for some reason, which doesn’t happen all that much, I have to discontinue it can be done without any problems or complications. I can do it just as easily for it doesn’t seem to affect my continence.

To go back to the OP. Why I have these strong feelings to wear diapers in the first place and secondly to have no control about me peeing my diaper is a great mystery to me. I accepted the fact that in order to wet my diaper without control I need to set a stent and that is fine with me. I wake up in the morning with a wet diaper and my diaper gets wet throughout the day. In hindsight it has always been that way, it only took years to get there.

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

WARNING

Long post that is designed to try and answer a unanserable question.

To answer the question of why some people want diapers and incontinence, one has to focus on the reason behind choice, specifically the choices one makes during early development. People tend to call these a fetish.

As an infant / baby / toddler, ones worlds view is from a level of 6-24” above the ground. It is occupied by the feet and legs of elders. It is also occupied by the aroma of others. Children of fisherman may grow up to have a fetish based on the smell of fish / wet gear.  Also, your interaction with others is split up with feeding, diaper changing, etc. You have certain control in what toy you play with, but when your body wants to void its bowels, this becomes an interruption where you have to move to address the issue. This also tends to focus your mind on the event of voiding = discomfort of a full bowel, the release, the afterglow of voiding, the warm squashy feeling in your diaper, and the interaction with another as you are being changed. Overnight, you are unaware of your diaper, but when you wake in the morning, the diaper is warm, wet, and bulky. This indicates to you that another will interact with you.

Humans, as has been proven by long term placement in isolation  i.e. space, artic etc., need company. The ideal companion is another human, but some people tend to substitute this with an animal i.e. cat, dog etc. This is within our DNA, the drive to propagate the human species. To facilitate that, we seek out another - as an infant, for nourishment and protection, and as a person, to keep the species thriving.

Since the undeveloped mind is very impressionable, one can associate the need for company is fulfilled only with a full diaper and infantile play (infantilism) OR on view of a foot / leg / certain type of footwear (foot fetish) OR smell of certain material.

Those people who have a fetish towards female breasts may have been breast fed by a parent yet raised by a nanny / day care.

All fetishes have a root, but that doesn’t state that the wish to wear and use diapers is a fetish. In some, it is, but in others, it is a regression to a, in the persons mind, time in their lives where they were under control. This may seem illogical – a diaper wearing baby has little to no control of their lives. That is true, but as a baby, you were taught to and expected to wet and mess yourself, and you can do no wrong. However, during the period of toilet training, this teaching was reversed. This is a very traumatic time for most of us that for some, never ends… someone pushing us to ‘do better’ and not accepting us for what we are. The problem with that concept is that usually, the person doing the pushing is no better than the person that they are pushing. Remember the phrase, “those who can, do, and those who can’t, teach”, which means, the people who can do a task are usually too busy doing that task AND the people who can’t perform a task usually end up trying to teach another to do the task that they themselves can’t master. It’s hypocritical of them, but true.

As an impressionable person, we tend to regress to a time where this pressure was not on us. This pressure to do better creates smokers, alcoholics, drug addicts etc., cross dressers, transvestites and  infantilists. Cross dressers, transvestites can also be genetic and/or attention seeking and/or forcing ones individuality and/or other reasons. Humans really do not know, for definite, why people chose and/or act and/or behave a certain way. We may never know.

I’d prefer to be the infantilist – the side effects of being an infantilist is a wet and/or messy diaper, maybe some diaper rash, maybe some distain amongst my peers, but nothing that will kill me. Smoking does kill. Alcohol makes me stupid. Drugs kill.

Not based directly on the above information, but people are delaying the time that they toilet train their children, spending more time with them and avoiding the rush to get them to adulthood. In the developed world, diaper usage is increasing in the 18 to 40 year old demographic. The taboo of bladder issues are being dropped to such an extent that bladder protection products that have the capacity of 1,200ml and greater are being advertised on television. This is despite the fact that the average adult has a bladder capacity close to 800ml and will void every four hours. If a person has bladder leakage, the average leak is 100-200ml every 30-60 mins. That means this protection garment will last six hours… and we are meant to believe that the wearer will be unable to reach a bathroom in a 6hr period. A baby is normally changed every 2-4 hours except overnight. So, an adult protection device that will last 6+ hours!!! Products are manufactured to sate a public need = people want to wear and wet their diapers despite what they state, and the number of people wanting that is increasing.

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The reason I love the feeling is the feeling of loss of control. All my life I have controlled or had a very strong influence on my everyday life. I have been successful in many things, but have always had control. The feeling of something, especially my own body, controlling an aspect of my life excites me. Plus I love the feeling of a soggy diaper.  

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Diapers give me a feeling of warmth and comfort. It is as if I am in regression to being a very small person. No responsibility, no planning. Everything is taken care of.

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 For me the psychology behind my desire to become incontinent is based more off my need to continually feel humiliated.  A loss of bladder control helps to reinforce the thought that I am less of a man.  Simply wearing a diaper without being unpotty trained does not offer the same euphoria for me. 

It is not a coincidence that I began wearing diapers permanently the day my wife/mommy made love to her ex-boyfriend.  Before this my diaper wear was becoming more and more frequent and my wife became more and more sexually frustrated.  Once another man could fulfill her sexual needs and I had been replaced in the martial bed wearing diapers permanently was inevitable.  I have been in diapers ever since that night and I feel very happy.

My sexual desires and drive is better controlled , my emotions are more positive, and I am a happier person both inside and out.

Being in diapers permanently remind me every second of everyday that I am less of a man and that makes me feel happy.  Wearing panties and maxipads was not enough.  Diapers and becoming unpotty trained was.

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I've commented before on this but more can be said about the psychology in general. We're all motivated differently but for each of us this motivation is overpowering- that's the one thing we have in common.  I often say that you don't need a reason to wear diapers beyond that you wish to, but there IS more to it than that for us who must lose bladder control. Not all of us are infantilists- I like adulthood in diapers- regression is more a thing I play with occasionally. That aspect adds some appeal to me but it's beyond secondary. I do love feeling the wetness and knowing I'm wet; dry diapers do nothing for me. Wetness without diapers does not appeal to me at all really, though again I 'play' with it occasionally. So there's something in me which needs wet diapers, and that thing does not want me wetting intentionally or even knowing about it- it wants me to physically need dipaers too, which makes my actual physical and medical need kind of nice since I didn't have to cross that hurdle- I've always been across it. I just stopped trying to be on the 'dry side' of it. 

I have a problem with time. I do waste a lot of it- that's due to my inherent laziness. But when it's time to do something I'm a 'get-it-done' person who doesn't waste one second- I'm something of an efficiency expert. Going to the bathroom is a waste of time to be sure, but I honestly never saw it that way. I didn't mind anythihng about that other than the frequency I needed and that it almost always happened at an inconvenient time. So I'm sure that the time spent going to the bathroom had some effect with me, but that wasn't a big motivator. It's nearly as much hassle diapering, changing, and obtaining diapers, but I am not now forced into having to deal with things at a specific time; I can wait a bit if I want to. Time doesn't control me as much now but I could get that without being incontinent too, and that would be a more sensible option. Somehow that's just not enough for me; I need to not have bladder control which does constrain my time, just differently, and having to change does take longer than just going to the bathroom to pee. Again this goes beyond secondary though time is definately involved in my need somehow.

Humiliation doesn't do much for me, nor am I normally a submissive person who needs to have someone or something controlling me, but there is an appeal to me knowing that I must wear diapers and that I have no choice in the matter. I was apprehensive about that at first, but now I find that the need to be the most immensively satisfying part of it all. I love being 'controlled' by diapers and I love feeling that way towards them. Being out of diapers feels 'wrong' somehow. Even when it's safe (like in the shower or on my tile floors or while aiuring out sitting on a towel) I hate not feeling the bulk between my legs. It's not exactly a worry or a fear or any apprehension; I can't really define the freeling any better than somehow deeply knowing it's wrong for me to not be diapered; they need to be there and in control of me, taking care of me and allowing me freedom. I must have them but that doesn't directly explain why I must also be incontinent while wearing them- I could get the same thing by wearing with full bladder control but somehow that too isn't right for me- I need to need diapers and I need them to be the foundation of what I wear. Though it doesn't explain anything, this is my primary motivation for being incontinent- I must need diapers to the degree that I cannot do without them. They must have first place in the order of things in my life, and they do. I'm quite happy about that and life is so much better for me this way.

I'm also rebellious against 'normalcy', which I see as a factor that keeps all of us from being our best. We lose ourselves when we're doing something other than  what we want to do. Wanting others to conform to us is just a cover-up for wanting to control others; we should be a proponent of and celebrating everyone doing their own thing as a way to reinforce us doing that ourselves. We should all be different- that's the way we were meant to be- and it's hard to beat being an adult in diapers for being different. Moreso when we want that to come with having no bladder control. There are darn few things this exclusive in nature- desiring and achieving incontinence is about as rare as anything gets in life. Yet as most of us aim for discretion, this huge difference goes unnoticed by the masses so that can't really motivate us to to here other than in achieving the self-satifsfaction of losing our bladder control. But maybe that does play a part in this- I can go and do nearly anbything diapered without anyone knowing but if I were to go out in a skirt or dress right now that would definately be noticed. So maybe this is the ultimate in achievable difference- we get to be unique but without having any public hassles or recriminations over it.

Whatever it is, this is one of the strongest forces inside of those of us who are compelled to become incontinent whatever the reason may be. It's a fight you're going to lose until you give up the fight and accept that you do not want bladder control, then strive to achieve losing it. This is our ultimate bliss and ours alone- it's certainly not meant for the masses.        

Bettypooh

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