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The Psychology Behind Incontinence Desire


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Bettypooh,

this might seem like a sweeping statement, but you are typical of the diaper wearers that I know - a strong self confident person while wearing diapers, but kind of submissive when not diapered. A lot of people find great personal strenght when diapered and/or acting like a baby. I don't have all the answers, but I find it strange / a contradiction that those people who chose to surrender control to a diaper and / or nanny etc have some of the strongest personal strenght as compared to people who do not.

In your case, a wet diaper where the choice to not wet is the source of your strength... ie behaving as you did before you were toilet trained. When one analyses this, one can see that as a baby, you, before you attempted to do something important to you at that age, you first made sure your bladder was empty as a way to avoid the need to void, which would intrupt your focus. This baby thinking is flawed since wetting is normally autonomic. It was messing that created the inturuption. This occured in diapers since you were unaware of the potty. As you have grown, the wet diaper signifies to you that you can fully focus on the tasks in hand. This has led to your mind totally focusing on what you are doing and not signaling you of your bladder needs.

Appy, Old_PA both are dominant personallities too, both using diapers for both stress relief and to drop self control. MarkSmith is tending to push the release of control to the extreme for humilitation.

If we look at a chronological baby, we can see that that baby is in full control - it dictates what it eats, when it gets fed etc. and does it by crying. A baby does not know nor care about time and/or place - day or night, at home or out it is in control - and a parent is wired in the DNA to comfort a baby and get it what it is crying for.

Compare this level of control to a Master - Servant (dominant - submissive) relationship, or within infantalism, Career - Baby. In these scenarios, the servant / baby is the one who is in full control... and it is the master / career that is acting on cues given by the servant / baby on what to do and how to do it.

Are we, as infantalists / diaper dependant or not, releasing our control... or are we just acting like that? Even in our mind, we choose to wet / mess / be in a wet / messy diaper. The point that our minds are not telling us before we wet / mess is just our minds trying to bend to our will.

Consider - medical science cannot cure incontinence - it is simply not that precise, but we can... if we choose to. Diaper lover / diaper dependent / incontinent.... the actual diference is levels and how far the mind is willing to go to keep us happy.

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I know for me there is the psychological comforting and the physical health aspect due to recurring uti’s and ms as well as pots for me to wear. My urologist had me do a urodynamics test which showed that there isn’t much time for me to get to the bathroom. He said that since I have ms there isn’t much that he can do to correct the issue (bs if you ask me and read the medical journals) and never wrote an order for diapers so I’ve been buying them out of pocket even though my insurance would cover them. There are times that I wish I could wear 24/7, and there are times that I wish I didn’t have to but overall it’s just easier for me to wear when I am going on long trips or going somewhere where I may not be able to get to the toilet in time rather than worrying about having an accident.


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Never thought I'd see this old thread again, takes me back. Nonetheless, I'm glad to see it dug up and being so popular years after I made it. From the looks of it, there's alot more to be said about this topic.

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It is so interesting the different directions we all take to get to the exact same spot of the desire for diaper dependancy.  I have often said the one thing we all have in common is the desire for diapers.  After that the differences about those desires are astonishing.  

For those that want to be unpotty trained the common bond between us all is the need is very real and never seems to go away.  Why you have those needs and how you answer them is what makes our paths so different.  This is a great post because it shows how we are all different and yet all the same.

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You are SO right :thumbsup: We're all on a journey to the same destination, each taking the path of our own choice to get there.  So I don't think there can be any singular motivation happening which is what keeps me interested in this topic. I've covered 'me' well so I won't repeat all that, but recent thinking has brought me to believe that another part of my own motivation is regressive.

My Mom was kind of superficial and I rarely got her deep undivided attention for more than moments. I've always known she wanted what was best for me I guess, same as with most Mom's :wub: even though I didn't always understand or agree. And as children we had to obey Mom. I disagree with Freud's contention that men want their Mom's sexually- I never did- but I now know that I want those aspects of Mom which I mentioned, but without going as far back as being a baby. I need a controlling aspect in my life, someone to steer me along and to push me in the right direction :rolleyes: I'm pretty certain that my being diapered 24/7 also represents something about the 'constant' part with them also 'controlling' me to some degree as they are certainly not something I want the whole world to know about. And I need the deep uninhibited happiness kid's have :girl_happy:

I've got more thinking to do on that but right now this seems to be another facet of myself which I'm only now discovering in it's full depth. All I can say for sure is that I'm on the journey to our collective destination and there ain't no goin' back :D

Bettypooh  

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I’m addicted to Foley catheter use 24/7 and Dippers for protection when bladder spasms cause leaking. Is that the same addiction to dipper use.



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I have been meaning to make a post on this subject for quite a while but haven't gotten around to it until now. I notice that a few AB/DLs develop a strong desire to become incontinent or diaper dependent in some form or another. For many younger AB/DLs out there it's a common fantasy that many tend to grow out of. But some out there, myself included, never grow out of that phase and that fantasy gradually becomes a serious consideration of a huge lifestyle change. We all know we have this desire, but I think it would beneficial to understand ourselves better and to know the WHY behind it all. To ask "why are we this way? why do we want to need diapers?" I've spent 6.5 years researching the ins and outs of an incontinent lifestyle and recently begun looking into the psychology behind it and the why of it all.I think I may have theory worked out on why some of us might turn out this way.



So what is the reason for addiction to U I , i dream of being forced to lose urine control to where I have to be catheterize 24/7. My catheter-control me 24/7. When it’s come out i have to put one back in because I’m addicted to the Foley catheter and sounding


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Lots of care.   My method is:

1.       Wash hands well and finish with hand sanitiser.

2.       Ensure the sterile catheter does not come in contact with anything other than sterilised tongs and sterile gel.

3.       Fill a syringe with the correct quantity of sterile (pre boiled) water.

4.       Open a sachet of sterile gel.

5.       Open an alcohol swab sachet.

6.       Apply the alcohol swab to the parts of the tongs that will contact the catheter,  then wipe the entry area (meatus) well with the swab

7.       Holding the catheter with the tongs about 3 inches from the inner end, apply the gel to the inner end and along the length a bit.     

8.       Insert the catheter, supporting the outer end with the other hand.

9.       When urine begins to flow, push it in another inch or so then fill the balloon with the syringe.

10.    Drink plenty of water and, importantly, take Cranberry supplements. I use a product called Cranberry 30,000. Each capsule contains cranberry fruit extract equiv. to 30g of fresh fruit. Preferably take two about an hour before then one every 12 hours.

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All I know is when my bedwetting came back about 6  nearly 7 years ago I very soon settled back in to the habit and now would not want to be dry at night again. I thoroughly enjoy al aspects of being a bedwetter one more. 

Growing up I wasn't reliably dry at night until my early 20's and to be honest couldn't are less. My bedwetting never bothered me and I never made any attempt to become dry at night. When it finally happened I missed my bedwetting for quite a while.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 6/12/2018 at 4:41 AM, stevewet said:

All I know is when my bedwetting came back about 6  nearly 7 years ago I very soon settled back in to the habit and now would not want to be dry at night again. I thoroughly enjoy al aspects of being a bedwetter one more. 

Growing up I wasn't reliably dry at night until my early 20's and to be honest couldn't are less. My bedwetting never bothered me and I never made any attempt to become dry at night. When it finally happened I missed my bedwetting for quite a while.

For me being reliably dry started in my late teens but I soon regressed in my early 20s because of drinking and taking some medications. I got treatment for it because I wanted to date and bedwetting made that much more difficult. I understand your point though about missing it. I think theres a sense of psychological security about it but I dont know why. In my 40s it started to become fairly regular again and for the most part I couldnt care less although it is inconvenient at times. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Let’s see if I can put this into a decent conversation. 

From a young age, I’ve always had a fascination with diapers. I can remember being 8 at my grandmothers and having a bad bout with diarrhea. She put me in a diaper and it just caught on I guess. Having a friend that had spina bifita that was incontinent and wore diapers always intrigued me. I can remember being at 6th grade camp and being asked by a counselor if I would room with him so that he wouldn’t be alone. Back then it was more of a sexual thing, now not so much.  Him and I tried to have a relationship later on in life, but I wasn’t attracted to him sexually. 

 

Couple of years ago, I started having problems with not being able to make it to the bathroom on time with out dribbling or being in excruciating pain trying to hold it until I could make it to a restroom. Dealt with that for a while and decided I was tired of the whole situation. Couple months back I had finally had enough and ordered a whole case of diapers. At the end of wearing them for a whole month, I came to the conclusion that I had enjoyed that time. Didn’t have the constant worry about finding a toilet, bottle, or whatever in time so that I didn’t wet myself. Part of the whole problem is due to my profession and having accessible restrooms ( I’m a truck driver). I would limit my fluids, dehydrate the hell out of myself which led to kidney stones. The first time that happened I swore would be my LAST. Holy hell that hurt!  

After all that I’ve been through, over time I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d rather wear diapers 24/7 and no longer worry so much than deal with everything else. It’s just plain easier and simple. That’s where I’m at. If wearing all the time leads to total incontinence, then so be it. 

 

Looking back, I never would have guessed at how much the whole concept would have changed for me, but it has definitely evolved from a sexual need to a just plain simpler take on it. 

On 6/11/2018 at 4:37 PM, John64 said:

I am so curious about how you who are into catheters manage to stay out of UVI? I tried catheters twice and siple don´t dare doing it again as I ended up at the doctor´s both times.

I found out I was highly allergic to cranberries when I was at a friends for thanksgiving and they had cranberry salad on the menu. I tried it, really enjoyed it, ate most of the dish and long story short, spent two weeks in the hospital. Something about the acid in cranberries irritates my stomach and intestinal lining and causes major pain and bleeding. So, NO cranberry products of ANY kind for me. Hence, I don’t use catheters. Even the external condom catch style doesn’t work well for me. I’m what you call a “grower not a shower”. As soon as I become erect, the condom caths usually break and cause me to leak everywhere when I pee.  

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you, everyone, for your contributions to this discussion. I’m new to dd by the way. Hi! 

The two points which resonate most deeply with my experience have to do with the requirement to conform, and voluntary loss of control in order to achieve equilibrium. 

I had the good fortune to be raised in a loving home albeit with strict behavioral expectations. I was “adulting” before I hit puberty...no excuses. A pee fetish arose in sexual explorations as a young adult, and years later was the corner of the universe where I met my husband. I have dabbled with diaper play over the years and that is where I first discovered the idea of voluntary incontinence. 

Pants wetting and bedwetting has gone from a “dirty little secret” kind of sexual play to something deeper; hinting at something much more foundational to primary identity. Alongside that, incontinence has gone from fantasy to casual consideration to serious investigation to finally emerging as core to identity and self-actualization, which is what brings me here now.

An inevitable part of reaching my age-range is the slow revelation of prostate enlargement. In the last couple years I have begun to experience more and more leaking/dribbling, and frequent episodes of bladder urgency. My doctor is convinced there is nothing of concern at this point, and suggests that if it is troublesome, to use pads or absorbant briefs.

Accepting this “new normal” is the final impetus I needed to finally pursue becoming incontinent for real. Losing  control over this part of my life, when I have always been the one fully in charge with everything under control is going to give me the stabilizing balance I have needed for so long. I am determined now, and filled with peace to do what I must and live-into this calling at the core of my being. 

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Welcome to DD @Wet Tony :D

Expounding a bit on your 'forced maturity' type childhood, my Dad was career military, which is about as 'conformist' as it gets. At home and visiting relatives we were children, but when we went out in public we were to be "little adults" who had to act accordingly. We kids always hated that as it seemed that no other families did this. And it was strictly enforced too :huh: Though I'm certain it was for the parent's benefit, some good did come from it. I learned that there are different behaviors expected at different places, and that you can control yourself if you try. It still gripes me deeply when someone says "I couldn't help it" regards their behavior :badmood: And more so when parents let their kids run amok in public, as if they aren't supposed to be keeping the kids behavior within social bounds. It has definitely had a lifelong effect on me :rolleyes: 

 

Fast-forward to now, with retirement a few years away and even with no AB tendencies, whenever I think about diapers, I feel more like a kid :P There is something special about wearing diapers 24/7 (or even occasionally) which seems to bring out the better parts of us. 

Bettypooh

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16 hours ago, Bettypooh said:

Welcome to DD @Wet Tony :D

Expounding a bit on your 'forced maturity' type childhood, my Dad was career military, which is about as 'conformist' as it gets. At home and visiting relatives we were children, but when we went out in public we were to be "little adults" who had to act accordingly. We kids always hated that as it seemed that no other families did this. And it was strictly enforced too :huh: Though I'm certain it was for the parent's benefit, some good did come from it. I learned that there are different behaviors expected at different places, and that you can control yourself if you try. It still gripes me deeply when someone says "I couldn't help it" regards their behavior :badmood: And more so when parents let their kids run amok in public, as if they aren't supposed to be keeping the kids behavior within social bounds. It has definitely had a lifelong effect on me :rolleyes: 

 

Fast-forward to now, with retirement a few years away and even with no AB tendencies, whenever I think about diapers, I feel more like a kid :P There is something special about wearing diapers 24/7 (or even occasionally) which seems to bring out the better parts of us. 

Bettypooh

5

I think you have a few years on me, but I grew up with the same code.  Fortunately, I don't recall the message ever being physically enforced.  I was told pretty quickly when I got near the line, and either had enough fear or respect to stay behind the line.   I think I understood from an early age that there was time to be a kid and a time to be mature.  It definitely has stayed with me.

I don't believe I'm seeking out some lost childhood with my desire for diapers.   It might be a desire to return to my idyllic childhood, but that desire was there when i was young and barely out of diapers.   And I think I would cringe at some of the restrictions that children would normally face.    But diapers just seem to give me this comfort.   As I've gotten over the guilt about wearing the them the thrill has left, but it's more like my security blanket.

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I hesitate to add this to the discussion since it isn't directly on topic, but since we're discussing the psychology of incontinence and we're doing that with diapers as the means of handling the leakage maybe it does fit here. 

I have always been a proponent of discretion, but as all of us longtime 24!7 wearers know, after awhile you kind of lose the fears and worries of discovery. At least they lessen. I'm quite well past those concerns now, feeling absolutely nothing negative about my being diapered at all. In fact I'm almost proud of my achievement, which is something that others here may relate to. Any thoughts to add?

Along those lines lies a darker side of this with me. I have always loved the crinkle of diapers which has gotten me more than a few shocked glances but no comments so far. It usually goes b unnoticed which is fine by me. Now after the coincidence of having a supply of small diapers which I can stuff cheap pull-ups with making them useful enough to wear away from home, I've discovered that I really like the 'diaper-butt' look they give me. Positively can't be anything but a diaper doing that under my clothes for whoever may happen to look. I've never felt like an exhibitionist though I do occasionally take some daring chances with exposure, but only when I am pretty sure nobody will notice. But now this new-found joy has me wondering whether I do have some exhibitionism in me. And how other other longtime wearers may feel about this too, for we all wear thick diapers by need now and that can't stop. So have your feelings about discretion changed over time? And do you take exposure risks now that you would have never dreamed of taking back when you began on your journey to incontinence?

Bettypooh

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  • 3 weeks later...

@Bettypooh I believe that everyone has more or less exhibitionistic tendencies. It is a natural selection thing, I believe. Totally hiding the own sexuality might be an evolutionary disadvantage as potential mating partners might not be attracted, totally showing the sexual arousal on the other extreme might be socially unattractive and might signal females that a potential partner might not be very loyal. So there is at least some advantage to being somewhat exhibitionistic.

Also the social part of showing sexuality in or readiness for intercourse or sexual orientation or the communication of preferred partners is IMHO wastly underestimated in a binary discussion about exhibitionistic tendencies.

Of course, we have red lines and taboos dertermining what behaviour is labeled exhibitionistic, but I tried to broaden the view when I used the term exhibitionistic, so that there is a more of a continuum, that spans desired, normal, accepted, tolerated, discouraged and finally unacceptable exhibition of sexuality.

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 6/1/2018 at 7:17 PM, babykeiff said:

WARNING

Long post that is designed to try and answer a unanserable question.

*Wall of text*

Wow, thanks a lot for the post! I usually ponder a lot about the philosophy/psychology behind many things in society, and I sure have thought about the desire to become incontinent a lot. I personally think you hit the nail on the head with your post.
 

On 6/1/2018 at 7:17 PM, babykeiff said:

I’d prefer to be the infantilist – the side effects of being an infantilist is a wet and/or messy diaper, maybe some diaper rash, maybe some distain amongst my peers, but nothing that will kill me. Smoking does kill. Alcohol makes me stupid. Drugs kill.

I am obviously biased as a DL/Infantilist I guess, but yes - So much yes to this.

Both my grandfathers passed away before I was even born due to different vices. One of them drank himself to death and the other one ate himself to a heart attack...
My mom has smoked since she was a teen and let's just say that both my parents drink their fair share of alcohol.

When it comes to me I only drink alcohol at parties, I never smoke, never do any type of drugs and I eat relatively healthy.
If infantilism is to be my "vice" in life I welcome it with open arms! 

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On 7/24/2018 at 8:23 PM, Bettypooh said:

So have your feelings about discretion changed over time? And do you take exposure risks now that you would have never dreamed of taking back when you began on your journey to incontinence?

 

Great post on the subject Bettypooh, as always you have a lot of great insight and thoughts on the matter : )

I think this part for me is especially starting to ring true now that I've been wearing 24/7 for a year and have lost control of my bladder. It's started to be on my mind a lot lately like, why is it such a big deal if someone sees my diapers, or why was it even a big deal in the first place? I can say I truly need diapers now, and I think it might be that need that is leading me to care less these days, which is perhaps the same for others here. Once that need to be in diapers is established and indisputable, maybe something in our brain changes to adapt and we just stop thinking about it so much. Maybe like a self-preservation thing to stop ourselves from being stressed constantly? I'm not entirely sure, but it definitely seems to be a trend in those who wear full time like you said.

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It's just something I have thought about deeply, hoping to better understand myself as well as others on the same (or a similar) path. There are really very few places where this is spoken of so this forum has given me more insight than I've found elsewhere. I am truly grateful for all those who post their thoughts here :thumbsup: What hasn't happened with me is a full self-understanding but often that is how it goes, so it's not a real problem. As long as I can deal with the "what" well, not knowing exactly "why" is of lesser importance though I'll always be looking for it. 

On a tangent from here, I wonder what the outcome would be if such discoveries were made for us, and with that providing at least some way of changing our deep-set need to wear and wet diapers. I'm sure that some would choose to lose this, but would I? And would that truly be good? So maybe not knowing has it's virtues. And at this point in things, I really love being this way so I doubt that I will ever change. It has helped me become more tolerant of others and their differences in everything. It has helped me become more comfortable in my own body. It has been a powerful and good thing for me and I wouldn't want to lose that. Had I the means to have stopped this early on and chosen to do that instead, I doubt that these wins in life would have occurred. Knowing why or not, I know that this is how I'm supposed to be and I' m going with it :girl_happy:

Bettypooh

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It has to be.... hell it is 4 times now that I've jumped on this thread and written almost a book regarding the subject just to delete it all only because all the words I composed either didn't fully explain myself or I contradicted my own thoughts too many times. Where I conflict is the difference between the word need and the word desire. Both of which have completely different meanings but both fall into a thread like this. I will also admit that I've never really had the capacity to properly convey my thoughts into writing unlike someone like Bettypooh that does a very good job of that. I've made it well known the differences between my urinary & bowel incontinence so I just don't need to go there. What I can say without hesitation is the path I've followed does make me feel like I've made all the right choices so the why question really doesn't have any meaning to me. And to analyze it only becomes a source for concern. It's a very tough subject.

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I started wearing nappies about 2 years ago because, and sorry to be graphic here,. I was drinking a lot of alcohol at that time, one morning in bed shortly after waking I thought I was only going to fart,,,

So I decided to wear at nights, but within a week I was 24/7 as it just made things easier, and also helped me a lot with bladder anxiety, caused again by drinking alcohol,,,

I also hate the idea of putting skidded pants in the washing machine with all my other clothes,,, 

I go for female pull-ups nearly all the time as I actually found it less embarrassing buying them in the supermarket, I used to buy Lady Tena Pants (now called Silhouette) for my late housebound mother so started off with them, and use them about half the time, the female style/cut seems to fit much better than male styles,,,

As for the psychology of the pleasure of wearing, I guess, as others have said, that I maybe yearn for a simpler time in my life, there's less to think about when you have disposable underwear to put on, and no worries regarding having enough clean underwear,,,

As for the amount of TV ads in the UK for IC products you'd think everyone was diapered lol, I wonder how many people have seen ads for IC underwear and thought "hmmm that looks interesting, I think I'll try that",,,

In winter, diapers also have the advantage of keeping my intimate area warm, without diapers, my penis used to shrink so much in the cold that it was difficult to pee when I got to a loo, with a diaper on it stays a size that I can handle easily, or I can just wet myself into the diaper if a loo isn't nearby,,,

 

 

 

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This is really an interesting thread - and it's awesome to read all these post. So I will also share my opinion / experiences here.

I'm a DL-  so for myself diapers are clearly a fetish. When I wear diapers then this it is something that brings me back to my very own and early sexual feelings. In this cases I'm not more self-confident or relaxed then without diapers but I'm much more turned into my myself and to my own little world. I would guess if someone look from an outer perspective to it, it even my have some kind of an autistic lineament. It toke a while for me to realise this.

But let's start this explanation the other way around: I thing - most people never would like to masturbate in public or even not in front of their partners (except of some bad boy that try to win a bet in the last corner of the schoolyard). This is normally something really personal that many people dont't like to share this with others. More over it's also something that is mostly finished fast.

If it comes to diapers - it's not that different but it also have some kind of a "longterm effect" what makes things much more complicated. At last for me it's a bit like a more cyclic recurring excitement.  This is on one hand a thrilling experience on the other hand something that makes me lonely - because this is only for myself and only for myself noticeable. Normally no-one - especially the opposite gender or your sexual partner is interested in a sexual practice that makes only you and not both of you happy - especially if he/she even not see your exitement  or what makes it even more worse: If you hide it. So at last for me this end's a simple equitation: The more I dig into diapers the more I loss the grip in my real sozial environment, and the more I became unattractive for my partner.

Again this sound simple - but at last for me it takes a long time to get this really clear for me. Meanwhile I would say: Not having this in my mind was one of the major things that makes my live complicated - not the diapers themselves or the fetish. Of cause also I had the wish to revert into the early beginnings of childhood. While remembering my early sexual experiences I really want to have them back: Waking up in the night while wetting the bed an getting an spectacular orgasm. These moments are the times were I had the strong wish to be a bedwetter again - just in the hope to get these early feelings back. 

But the more I think over this, and the more I learned about myself, the clearer I get that this might not the right way for me - because unfortunately there is no time-machine that easily set's me back to the place of my deepest desire. So what I did was starting to learn technics of imagination that bring back more of the memories and let me go get deeper into them. This make things much more controllable for me and with more knowledge about my self awareness and the awareness of others also my sozial live becomes much more easy.

So coming back to a question that was often asked in that thread: Do you really like to know why you like to be inkontinent?

At last for me I can say it helped me a lot to get things clearer and get a better understanding of myself and my sexuality. More over it helped me to get my fetish more "partnership compatible".    

 

   

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On 7/24/2018 at 12:23 PM, Bettypooh said:

I hesitate to add this to the discussion since it isn't directly on topic, but since we're discussing the psychology of incontinence and we're doing that with diapers as the means of handling the leakage maybe it does fit here. 

I have always been a proponent of discretion, but as all of us longtime 24!7 wearers know, after awhile you kind of lose the fears and worries of discovery. At least they lessen. I'm quite well past those concerns now, feeling absolutely nothing negative about my being diapered at all. In fact I'm almost proud of my achievement, which is something that others here may relate to. Any thoughts to add?

Along those lines lies a darker side of this with me. I have always loved the crinkle of diapers which has gotten me more than a few shocked glances but no comments so far. It usually goes b unnoticed which is fine by me. Now after the coincidence of having a supply of small diapers which I can stuff cheap pull-ups with making them useful enough to wear away from home, I've discovered that I really like the 'diaper-butt' look they give me. Positively can't be anything but a diaper doing that under my clothes for whoever may happen to look. I've never felt like an exhibitionist though I do occasionally take some daring chances with exposure, but only when I am pretty sure nobody will notice. But now this new-found joy has me wondering whether I do have some exhibitionism in me. And how other other longtime wearers may feel about this too, for we all wear thick diapers by need now and that can't stop. So have your feelings about discretion changed over time? And do you take exposure risks now that you would have never dreamed of taking back when you began on your journey to incontinence?

Bettypooh

For me I would argue wearing diapers permanently has had an opposite effect as far as my desire for the world to know I am padded.  When my diaper wearing journey began I was very immature and inconsiderate of those around me.  No, I was not one of those that walked down the beach in only a diaper but I definatly was one of those that insured my diaper was seen if I bent over.  My shirts were always too short and my diaper pulled up nice and high.  My diapers could be very pink, have baby prints on them, or simply be plain. 

@rusty pins has talked at length about what is acceptable behavior while diapered in public and he has even agreed that a diaper poking out of your waistband is not the end of the world.

I guess since I am someone that wants to be continually humiliated exposing a little diaper fulfilled that desire.  I remember walking through a major airport and my backpack was causing my shirt to ride up definatly enough to expose my diaper.  I knew it and simply did not care.  Hundreds of people I am sure saw I was diapered that day.  Getting in and out on an airplane seat or reaching up to put something into the overhead bins will also let the people of the flight you are on know you are diapered.

As far as the crinkle factor, @Bettypooh I completely understand your desire for that audio confirmation that you are diapered.  I would intentionally wear the crinkliest diaper possible with the loudest plastic panties imaginable under a pair of loose fitting shorts.  Everyone I passed knew I was diapered simply by the crinkle factor.  There is really nothing more obvious that says I am diapered than the distinct sound of a crinkly diaper.  Walking down hotel hallways or into Barnes and Nobles was something I commonly did in this state.  Why?  I wanted the world to know I wear diapers and those around me definitely did.

I have documented a lot of this on this site but as I have been in diapers permanently now for almost a complete year I have definitely lost some of those exposure tendencies.  Now I am usually wearing a onesie.  My fixing panties hide almost any crinkle and keeps my diapered profile nice and slim.  About the only thing that I am less concerned about is who is in the stall next to me in public while I change my diaper.  Seldom do I try and be quiet when changing.  I simple let those diaper tapes rip and take care of my potty business.  I also have zero care about walking out of the stall with a used diaper in my hand or walking into to stall with a clean one.

As with everything in life you grow and mature.  I would never judge anyone who was extra crinkly or had a visible diaper on as I completely understand those desires.  Understanding "why" you have those desires is something entirely different. 

For me this website has offered a lot of insight on what most view as what is acceptable when diapered in public.  Now that I find myself almost diaper dependant it simply is not so important to let those innocent bystanders around me know that fact.

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I do try to be reasonably discreet and I'm not wanting to disturb or offend anyone, but I do have the right to wear diapers which also gears some consideration. This world isn't only about others, some of it is about me too :) If it were an absolute must, I could do with cloth-like backing but in my mind the image of disposable diapers is of only plastic-backed ones. I know where this is rooted- it goes back to the first moment that I saw a kid wearing the old wing-fold Pampers and wished that I could be wearing one myself. That image remains strong. When I got my first Ambeze diapers, the more modern designs were available for kids and adults both, but it was this wing-fold design that broke my ability to resist buying and wearing a real made-for-my-size disposable diaper.

Prior to that, my thoughts had been only of myself and cloth diapers which are surely what was put on me as a child, and my thoughts had never really considered what wearing them might feel like. And never before had those thoughts been triggered by me seeing anyone else in a diaper even though I'd seen those diapers on kids many times before that day. What struck me most about that moment is that it was the first time I truly felt empathy. ( I hope that is the right word here; I didn't feel sorry for him and I didn't feel jealous- I just wanted to be wearing a diaper like that along with him). And that moment started me almost always having my own diaper thoughts getting triggered by visual clues when I saw them. Prior to that, my thoughts had been of only me and had happened at random infrequently, for I knew it was essentially impossible. I began questioning that impossibility afterwards. I began thinking about how to make my own diapers after that, and eventually began doing that. Seeing a happy kid wearing diapers made me want that carefree happiness for myself too. It was something that my life had always lacked :huh:

My personality developed into being something of an "In your face" kind of person visually and in how I carried myself,which was my resistance to social standards emerging. In actions I was totally different. This never extended to my underwear whatever kind it was. I never felt any desire to a an exhibitionist that way, again the exact opposite was true. I'm still attracted to girls with modesty (which I admire) more than I am with those with exposed lingerie or even naked ones. That carries over to my own self too. But this brings the dilemma: How can I be wearing what I want to the way I want to wear it without having the possibility of a crinkle or bulge giving my 'secret' away? As long as my disposable diaper isn't directly visible, I feel no need to, and have no desire to wear something else over it. It is being modest enough :blush:

I do like hearing myself crinkle. There's no way I can have that without the possibility of someone else hearing it too, although I try to avoid that for the sake of their own comfort. I do like feeling the thickness and bulges which wearing diapers gives me. Once again that cannot be totally concealed but I try to wear loose enough clothing to hide these things well for the sake of others. I make reasonable concessions to others in this world but I expect the same in return. I have as much right to that as anyone else does. It is a mature attitude regards this. If I am offensive to someone, that is really their problem because that is not my intent. If someone needs to change it is them, not me. And people do need to think about what their own feelings do to themselves regards others who are not like them. This world is full of immature adults who cannot see anything but their own selfish desires as having any validity. This world is full of people who want to put their nose into everyone else's business when it doesn't belong there. This world is full of the self-righteous who refuse to even consider that they may be wrong. Rarely is any of that changed all by itself; those changes for the better usually come only when someone makes them face what they don't want to see or hear. Nobody is tasked with that job directly, but some of us are willing to take it upon ourselves to try and make a better world for everyone that way. I am one of those B)

So I wear diapers which sometimes crinkle and sometimes show bulges and sometimes even leak. Is there something wrong with that? Of course not- this is nobody's business but my own. I am making reasonable concessions for everyone else by trying to not bother them with this, but I am not going to any extremes to achieve that, especially when most people are not giving me even this much consideration. I am due that much consideration and if need be I will take it when it is not being freely given :angry:  If I am causing someone else discomfort by wearing diapers then they need to change that, not me. I've tried to fix me and my own problems and that continues. I don't give a damn what you think unless you are trying to do the same, for in this I am good and I like me this way :girl_happy:

Bettypooh

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  • 1 month later...
On 9/8/2018 at 12:12 PM, Bettypooh said:

I do try to be reasonably discreet and I'm not wanting to disturb or offend anyone, but I do have the right to wear diapers which also gears some consideration. This world isn't only about others, some of it is about me too :) If it were an absolute must, I could do with cloth-like backing but in my mind the image of disposable diapers is of only plastic-backed ones. I know where this is rooted- it goes back to the first moment that I saw a kid wearing the old wing-fold Pampers and wished that I could be wearing one myself. That image remains strong. When I got my first Ambeze diapers, the more modern designs were available for kids and adults both, but it was this wing-fold design that broke my ability to resist buying and wearing a real made-for-my-size disposable diaper.

Prior to that, my thoughts had been only of myself and cloth diapers which are surely what was put on me as a child, and my thoughts had never really considered what wearing them might feel like. And never before had those thoughts been triggered by me seeing anyone else in a diaper even though I'd seen those diapers on kids many times before that day. What struck me most about that moment is that it was the first time I truly felt empathy. ( I hope that is the right word here; I didn't feel sorry for him and I didn't feel jealous- I just wanted to be wearing a diaper like that along with him). And that moment started me almost always having my own diaper thoughts getting triggered by visual clues when I saw them. Prior to that, my thoughts had been of only me and had happened at random infrequently, for I knew it was essentially impossible. I began questioning that impossibility afterwards. I began thinking about how to make my own diapers after that, and eventually began doing that. Seeing a happy kid wearing diapers made me want that carefree happiness for myself too. It was something that my life had always lacked :huh:

My personality developed into being something of an "In your face" kind of person visually and in how I carried myself,which was my resistance to social standards emerging. In actions I was totally different. This never extended to my underwear whatever kind it was. I never felt any desire to a an exhibitionist that way, again the exact opposite was true. I'm still attracted to girls with modesty (which I admire) more than I am with those with exposed lingerie or even naked ones. That carries over to my own self too. But this brings the dilemma: How can I be wearing what I want to the way I want to wear it without having the possibility of a crinkle or bulge giving my 'secret' away? As long as my disposable diaper isn't directly visible, I feel no need to, and have no desire to wear something else over it. It is being modest enough :blush:

I do like hearing myself crinkle. There's no way I can have that without the possibility of someone else hearing it too, although I try to avoid that for the sake of their own comfort. I do like feeling the thickness and bulges which wearing diapers gives me. Once again that cannot be totally concealed but I try to wear loose enough clothing to hide these things well for the sake of others. I make reasonable concessions to others in this world but I expect the same in return. I have as much right to that as anyone else does. It is a mature attitude regards this. If I am offensive to someone, that is really their problem because that is not my intent. If someone needs to change it is them, not me. And people do need to think about what their own feelings do to themselves regards others who are not like them. This world is full of immature adults who cannot see anything but their own selfish desires as having any validity. This world is full of people who want to put their nose into everyone else's business when it doesn't belong there. This world is full of the self-righteous who refuse to even consider that they may be wrong. Rarely is any of that changed all by itself; those changes for the better usually come only when someone makes them face what they don't want to see or hear. Nobody is tasked with that job directly, but some of us are willing to take it upon ourselves to try and make a better world for everyone that way. I am one of those B)

So I wear diapers which sometimes crinkle and sometimes show bulges and sometimes even leak. Is there something wrong with that? Of course not- this is nobody's business but my own. I am making reasonable concessions for everyone else by trying to not bother them with this, but I am not going to any extremes to achieve that, especially when most people are not giving me even this much consideration. I am due that much consideration and if need be I will take it when it is not being freely given :angry:  If I am causing someone else discomfort by wearing diapers then they need to change that, not me. I've tried to fix me and my own problems and that continues. I don't give a damn what you think unless you are trying to do the same, for in this I am good and I like me this way :girl_happy:

Bettypooh

So well said and so well written

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