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Dating As An Ab/dl


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Hey all,

So I won't be ashamed to admit that I've been out of the dating scene for quite a while. Working graveyard shifts combined with a relationship that ended badly, which left me single for almost a year. But I've bounced back and find myself in a conundrum. See, I'm ready to jump into dating once again in the hopes of finding Mr. Right, but I'd also like to try and find a Mr Right who at best shares my interest in diapers, and at least understands why I wear them to relax (this wasn't the case with my last relationship; thankfully I kept quiet, cuz he turned out to be the kind of guy who would post that info everywhere). So I'm putting up some age-old questions in search of some sage advice.

1. Where did you look to find your other half, either in person or online?

2. If you didn't find someone who is AB/DL but still understands and accepts your interests, how did you approach the subject with them?

Thanks in advance to anyone who answers :)

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I met my current girlfriend about a year ago at my old job and we got together (after much pursuit from me ;)) a few months after we became friends. We're extremely close and live together now so nothing really can be kept a secret when you spend so much time together.

When I told her that I was an AB it surprised her because outside of the privacy of my home I'm pretty outspoken and sarcastic and like to present a confident persona around other people. However, when I'm at home and in the mood to act little I'm completely the opposite. So it took a while for her to understand that I was sexually submissive most of the time even though you'd never guess it based on my outward appearance.

She'd never heard of ABDL before so I explained to her my reasoning and why it was sexual for me because her first thought as I think a lot of people's are was "how can you think stuff for babies is sexy?". But now that she's gotten the idea she loves to pamper me and treat me like a little one and bring me my paci and ect. As to the diapers, she's just okay with them. She has no problem with me wearing but I've never brought up wetting quite yet - I don't see the rush and I dont want to overwhelm her.

I think anyone who is openminded and kind could learn to accept or maybe even participate if you take your time and never pressure them to anything. For me how it worked was to share little parts of me being an ABDL at a time. Spread over weeks at a time so that it didn't seem like such a huge thing and didn't catch her off guard. And I always always reiterated the fact that she never had to do anything with me if she didn't want to. And of course it wasn't something that I brought up right away.

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I met Riker when we were 15 randomly on the bus and then we never talked after the like 3o minute bus ride but then 2 years later we ended up in the same medicine course, the only reason I recognised him was because it was St. Patricks day we had met and my friend is camara mad and had taken loads and he was in the background of a few and then a couple with me. We both got into the same class in college. But thats got nothing to do with diapers

2. If you didn't find someone who is AB/DL but still understands and accepts your interests, how did you approach the subject with them?f Rikers different from you in that he prefers to take care of someone in diapers then actually wear them himself. But he brought it up randomly one night while we were studying, just out and said it, that he's into adult babies and he'd like to try it with me and that he's only ever indulged in it alone. I was really shocked, that was the last kink I expected him to have. I had never really heard of someone who wanted to be a mammy or daddy to an adult baby and it definiely freaked me out, I didn't really understand why he would want someone to act like a baby. Or if it was a little peadophilish! I felt like I should give it a try though and I did and I had some fun. Some people are open minded others are not, it's really the person

(very) Long story short: It really depends on the person, I say you have to feel them out before deciding if your gonna take the chance of telling

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1. Both, online has a higher failure rate but more shots. Real world has higher odds of success per person (presuming you are sociably acceptable) but higher anxiety/pressure because of more pain from fear of rejection.

2. Very carefully. Don't bring it up on a first date, unless you're going to be sleeping with the partner in question on the first date. My typical timerange is about two months into a relationship, when it's clear sex is likely going to happen soon, but before it's going to happen.

In general, I wouldn't worry about it much if I were you - gay partners, especially male gay relationships are generally quite tolerant of ABDL activities. Just handle it delicately and treat it as a positive conversation that starts gently with that you like acting like a little kid, and gently lay out age regression, diapers, etc. Don't rush into it, don't surprise your partner with a diaper on, treat it as adult a conversation as possible.

(If you're a DL and not an ABDL, same situation, just start with a conversation that you like certain sex toys and one major one for you is wearing diapers).

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i may be a little different, but when i am asked, or ask someone out, i tell them right off. my fiancee, the day we met i made it clear i was a bit strange and i liked to wear diapers and act like a baby for relaxations. she wanted to watch once, and then it was my thing.

honestly, as far as meeting people, i find it easiest to just go online, and be honest. i use adult baby as a conversation starter. works well.

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I also prefere to be upfront straight away if i am in a pub or club, i am 'out' at my local gay bar and yes it has caused a bit of a stir but hey thats me! If i were looking for a boyfriend i would look online to see if there were any ab/dl venues or munches in my area, failing that try some online dating sites for ab/dl's then let nature take its course. Mr right may be out there for and i hope you find him.

Happy hunting!

Mal.

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I am willing to meet people who do have to wear diapers out of need. Am trying to not do the whole "I feel so bad for you" thing so many of you say you dislike. However, if offered the chance, I would take up the opportunity to give a diaper change.

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