How To Explain Infantilism To My Boyfriend

[Princess Luvs]

So I told my boyfriend about my fetish (ab/dl) and he's completely supportive but still doesn't understand everything about it.....I told him I'd explain it to him, but you know, it's sort of new-ish to me too, so I'm not sure how I'd go about explaining....help??

My fantasy is: to be treated like a baby whenever I really need it, not 24/7, and doesn't even have to lead to anything sexual, but I guess if he changes me, then it could totally get sexual.

So how do I explain that he has to think like a boyfriend but act like a little girl's daddy? Help me put it in more....sophisticated terms....thank you sooo much!!! <3

[Bettypooh]

What it means to each is as varied as we are Perhaps if you browse here awhile (together?) you will find ideas and concepts which you identify with that will help you 'find yourself', because without either of you knowing what you want, it will be rather tough to find it For most people it also changes over time, often coming and going but rarely ever going away forever. It's just part of life so keep it in perspective and most of all enjoy the good in it

Bettypooh

[Princess Luvs]

Well here's what I'm struggling with....how do I tell him how to be both a "father" figure and a boyfriend (who does sexual things) after acting all fatherly....without it sounding like....weird and kind of incestual....

[Bettypooh]

Didn't you just tell me that? Guys are usually 'tuned in' to leadership roles and are ready to be the 'protector' of those things and people they care about in life. That dynamic is probably already there, so asking him to 'play Daddy" sometimes shouldn't be a foreign concept to him For the vast majority of ABDL's, this is not a full-time lifestyle, though parts of it may always be present So when you look at it that way, it is essentially roleplay among the participants with the importance of it being more for the ABDL and less for the others But that doesn't keep them from 'playing along' if they want to, and they often will when they care enough about you Honest communications is what great relationships are built on, so go there with nothing hidden and no shame- tell him of your wants and your doubts; only them can he find a way to be there for you that works for you too. Go slowly, letting each step settle in before going further. All along the way make a place for communications and be ready to compromise so that there is enough happiness for everyone involved. In taking that slow approach you will both discover what you each need and how you can help each other get it And isn't that what a relationship is all about in the first place?

Bettypooh

[Princess Luvs]

Thanks so much for your advice bettypooh!

[babylin]

UNDERSTANDING INFANTILISM is the classic essay which you might find in The Den of Bittergrey.

You might also get THERE'S A BABY IN MY BED by Rosalie Bent......available from Amazon I suspect.

If changing time becomes play time sexually, then you need to be subtle in how you manipulate your guy.

You already have his undivided attention.

Happiness Is Wearing Cotton Diapers

[Vera]

If changing time becomes play time sexually, then you need to be subtle in how you manipulate your guy.

You already have his undivided attention.

Happiness Is Wearing Cotton Diapers

Manipulating anyone in any capacity isn't healthy in any sort of relationship. It seems like her boyfriend is already open, as he is trying to understand it.

Maybe it's just as simple as telling him that sometimes you'd like to be babied and taken care of as part of foreplay. My fiance himself really isn't into my abdl side, but he is a good sport and will change me from time to time, and doesn't mind the baby talk or me calling him Daddy. You have already taken a huge step by telling him. Bettypooh has summed it up very nicely!

[BigBoy]

I don't know if you are anything like me but this is the counterbalance to my big personality. I am extremely alpha, so the counterbalance is being extremely beta.

[sarah_ab]

Well, think of all the people who engage in a variety of role play scenarios.... how can you be the typical boyfriend and the horse owner? how can you be the typical boyfriend and the little puppy dog? how can you be the typical boyfriend and the whip wielding master? how can you be the typical boyfriend and the dr? the teacher? the disciplinarian?

The situation is not unique to abld, its just the role has a different name. Essentially you are engaging in a role play scenario which is a fantasy... so you are play acting.... and itjust happens that you are really enjoying the role you are assuming, both sexually and non sexually.

The thing is, comfort doesn't just happen overnight.. i have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and it STILL sometimes will have its awkward moments, where suddenly we are just like 'ohhhh this isn't working right now...' it happens.... you just need to ease into it.... start with little things a phrase or word here or there, a small action... and just keep incorporating it into your private times and soon it won't be as akward and as silly.... or maybe it will stay super awkward, which is a sign that one or both of you are really not enjoying it or comfortable with it...