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I've long been a lurker on the board. Long, long time.

Anyways, I've recently....as in today...decided to participate a little bit more. I had the same thought a couple month ago and posted a short story. Think I took it down. Can't remember. Shame spiral, you know the drill...

Anyways, I'm writing because I have on and off been making myself try to wet the bed.

The point of my story? I'm conflicted about the whole situation.

Obviously the feeling of having no control, having to wear diapers because I wet the bed is appealing for reasons most people on this board can understand. Also, the idea of being with someone who accepts my problems and will treat me the same irregardless is a big turn-on.

I have had two relationships in the past where diapers came into play. In the latter the other person ended up being as "submissive" as I, and wetting the bed (not on purpose) herself, and it was a turn-on, but it is difficult for both people to play both parts.

Anyways, I have had one accident in the last several months. I had pneumonia and I had just laid in bed to have a nap, and I woke up while I was wetting my boxers.

Not sure what the whole point of this post is. I guess I'm just saying hello.

In viewing this board for the last several years I have found that people are very kind, accepting and open. Since my last relationship (which heavily involved diapers with both of us) ended, and I moved to a new city and no longer see the same therapist (with whom I discussed the issue at great length), I am pretty much now alone with the whole situation...

Not looking to discuss from a sexual point of view, just looking for support. The point of the matter is that I have been depressed and using diapers more, and have tried to train myself (in the different way people are probably familiar with) to wet the bed, but at the same time I do not want to have this problem as I know it will get in the way of a lot of things. CONFLICT.

Anyways, that's my rant. You can respond or PM me. Again, having a hard time and just looking for support or advice.

-M

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Hi, The shame thing is a common theme in this community. It's the basis of the binge / purge cycle that many here have dealt with. I think that's the reason why many of the older / more mature members have less of an issue with this than the younger members, they have worked through these issues over time. I'm surprised your therapist wasn't able to help you get over with the guilt / shame because that would be something that would improve your quality of life. Hang in there and you'll realize the guilt is useless and you'll get over it.

Hugs,

Freta

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That definitely makes some sense to me. I have seen that in older members as well.

Of diapers and the desires that come with them...I will say - - I have come a long way with the guilt and shame with that over the last 15 years (I'm in my mid twenties), so it make sense that as time progresses, so does one's acceptance of these things.

I have had several therapists over the years, some more helpful in this regard than others. It wasn't until I was 21 that I finally realized, "shit, I'm just gonna do what I want to do, whenever I want to do it." And in that way, things have gotten better. It's been over a year since threw out ("purged") a package of diapers (which has also saved me a bunch of dough). However, there are times I simply don't want anything to do with it because I don't feel like it.... in the same way that sometimes a beer feels great, and sometimes I'd rather just have a soda.

One of my concerns is simply that if I do become a bedwetter (I don't want full-blown anyways), it will be a source of complication with staying places, going away, and most significantly, with dating.

I understand that the overall point is kind of just that I have to learn to accept it completely. I've dated a bunch of girls over the years and only shared with a couple, and in all cases it went well. I guess I'm just interested in hearing how people's experiences have been.

Anyways, I digress. Anyone else have any experience with dating, etc and how this has been?

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Welcome to DD clmx :)

While I can't address your last question, I can say a few things you might want to consider. The first is why are you in such a hurry? You have a lot of time and life ahead of you to explore becoming a bedwetter in ;) It will work out a lot better for you if you slow down whichever way you go. Establish a relationship first, mentioning your affinity for diapers at the appropriate point, and continuing the relationship if that goes OK. Explore bedwetting later on once you know you're with the right person who can deal with this B)The biggest reason us older folks seem to have less trouble with these things is that time has taught us the value of patience. Time has also taught us that it's stupid to fight yourself because you cannot win that fight :whistling: Put those two things together and you can find your way through this a lot more easily!

Actually needing diapers, even if only at night, will significantly affect your whole life. I'm not saying this to deter you from doing what you may need to do to be happy. I'm saying this so that you will clearly see just what those effects can be. If you hit bad economic times (which almost everyone does at some point) you will need to spend your last dollars on diapers, not on food or other bills you owe. You will need mattress protection which you're not going to want to install and remove every night. Your days of being able to travel freely will be complicated by needing to take diapers along. You won't be able to party at a friends house and sleep it off there instead of driving home if you have a few too many drinks, and you certainly don't need DUI/DWI in your life. The bed partner issues are obvious. Are you ready to be woke up in the middle of he night by a very irate person who you just peed all over, needing to change the bedding and your diaper while you listen to their legitimate tirade against you? Maybe not so obvious in that is you will have to tell those people ahead of time, before you even reach the sleeping together stage, and they may decide to drop you and tell the whole world about you wearing diapers- a very real risk with wide-ranging effects well beyond what you might be seeing already. And this is just the short list- I could easily add a few more paragraphs here. Are you ready to accept all of this? :huh:

Now if you really have a need to become a bedwetter, what you are going to find is a special peace and happiness which will elude you until you become one. Yes, the emotional side of this is that strong. But a lot of people can go through life well enough without having to go so far with things like this, they can be happy enough just making 'space to play in' from time to time as the need becomes strong. If you can do that, it is the best solution as it gives you what you need without taking over your life :D I always recommend that people 'experiment' first before committing to something so that they will know what they're getting into and can back away if they find reality different from their preconceived notions of what it will be like :mellow: Have you tried this yet? Set a date in the future when you will 'become a bedwetter', and set a reasonable length of time you will do this, say three months. During that time you play the role completely and in every way. If you can't pee in bed then you wet your diaper heavily before going to bed because a real bedwetter will be wet every night. You change and launder the bedding every week at least because you will leak in bed to some degree at some point as a bedwetter. You put the mattress protection on and prepare to explain that to anyone you share your bed with in the daytime. You never ever go to sleep anywhere anytime without a diaper on, and if you must then you pee your pants before you fall asleep because you would likely do that as a bedwetter. If you have or establish a relationship in this 'experimental time' then you deal with that as a real bedwetter would- you cannot tell them it is only an experiment which you're going to stop because at this point you might never stop- you don't know that answer yet yourself, and you must be as realistic as possible in the experiment to get the right answer afterward. If you truly did your part without fail, by the time this experiment ends you will absolutely know what you want and need to do for you to be happy in life.

Maybe you've seen my own story. Like so many I started wanting Incontinence, but as I realized all the implications that faded. Then I wanted to become a bedwetter, but again that was more a desired fantasy than a workable reality for me. I finally discovered that for me, wearing 24/7 was enough, even though most of the time I have decent bladder control and I use the toilet to reduce the need for changes. Now I am happy- I have that special peace I always needed in my life that I never had before :wub: I can still go further with this if I want to- I have lost almost nothing and I have gained a lot. Maybe you can try something similar- wear diapers to bed without allowing guilt or shame to enter into the picture simply because you want to do this. You don't have to use them unless you want to since you still have control. By giving yourself the good parts of being a bedwetter without any of the negative aspects, you too might find that you really needed something else after awhile.

Remember- you have the rest of your life to sort this out and at your age, that is a lot of time. Patience will take you where you really need to go, and wherever than is, may you be happy there :thumbsup:

Bettypooh

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Hmmmm.....dating was never the problem. Most of my dates never really progressed past the 2nd base stage so the girls never found out I wore diapers to bed. With my wife though I knew that I wanted to spend my life with her so I needed to come clean fairly early in the relationship ;)

Being a bedwetter has its challenges...but none that can't be overcome. I use high quality disposables with flannel lined plastic pants at night so leaks aren't an issue. I make sure to always have plenty of diapers on hand when travelling and I am ALWAYS diapered when sleeping in a strange bed. So far I haven't had to have the dreaded 'wet bed' conversation with anyone who's put me up in their home.

Given the choice though....I would much rather not wet the bed. Things would be much easier that way and I could enjoy diapers on my own terms rather than those dictated by my body. Some nights its a real PITA putting on a diaper especially when I'm really tired and all I want to do is sleep. The smell can get to be quite strong if I let the diaper pail get too full and you always have to find creative ways of getting rid of used diapers when you're on vacation.....especially when staying with family. I'm at that stage in my life where I can afford hotels when I travel but when I was younger and staying with the in-laws....well it got interesting a few times.

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Clrmx:

YOU need to take care of yourself...if the diapers help, wear them and use them however works best for YOU. In my case, the only time I have wet my diaper in bed without awakening I was extremely tired, and well hydrated,(a quart or two of water at a late dinner, maybe an infrequent beer, drove to the hotel where I was staying, and collapsed into bed in dry padding). My wife will kill me if she has to change wet sheets in the middle of the night.

So your ambivalence is very understandable. Playing at the loss of control is very different, and much more fun than the permanent reality of lost control. At one point, I almost had myself trained to be daytime incontinent but nighttime continent, but then the day diapers got to be simply too much work, and no real fun. I suggest you give yourself permission to wear diapers even without being incontinent, just because they make YOU feel good.

At the moment, I have an excuse for wearing diapers if asked, having had a bout with abdominal pain recently, and I am wearing and doing some wetting, which isfine with me. I expect i'll get tired of it at some point and drop diapers for a while. I haven't been asked...and if I am, I'll just say that my traetment sometimes makes things messy...and a diaper keeps my clothes clean.

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One more thing: BettyPooh And Drynot above are 100% right, above. It just took me 24 hours to wrote my post, on account of sleep and working at a job. Give yourself permission to enjoy diapers or not as the mood strikes you, and to use them or not, as the mood strikes you. Then you can have the best of being diapered and not being diapered.

My shrinks consider diapers as not an important problem, except for reasonable discretion. Depression and anxiety are much more important, even when relatively mild.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I find that making a "June Box" mediates the binge/purge cycle. Basically, you put it in an old suit case, and you make a conscious decision to not ever open the suitcase. If you ever change your mind you can reopen the June box. In elem school, when the teacher took something away, it went into the June box, you got it back at the end of the school year.

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I find that making a "June Box" mediates the binge/purge cycle. Basically, you put it in an old suit case, and you make a conscious decision to not ever open the suitcase. If you ever change your mind you can reopen the June box. In elem school, when the teacher took something away, it went into the June box, you got it back at the end of the school year.

A Capital Idea:

I label that box "Laundry", as the least interesting thing I can think of, and just store it off....it gets reopened in time...

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