Everyone Knows And Its Embarrassing

[BriGuy]

Turn it around they're on fetlife for a reason too. Own it, be ok with yourself and screw with them back. You can't pick on someone who is proud of who they are.

[Guest]

Another girl I met on fetlife I told her what happened. The girl I messaged supports my fetish and doesn't go around telling other people what my fetish is. She works where I work and keeps it to her self. She was very pissed off about what happened. She is the one that told me I needed to go to the store manager and tell her what happened so it could be handled. She told me that I need to delete my other account and create a new one and not to duplicate it and don't upload any photos of me. I went ahead and created a new one. But I told her that I'm not deleting my fetlife profile until I know the investigation is done because I don't know if the store manager went on fetlife and took a look at my profile and the other two that are involved in the incident that happened. I don't want to delete it just yet because I don't know if she took a look and if she can't find it I don't want her to think I'm lying and think the whole thing didn't happen so I am keeping my fetlife profile up until I go back and find out what is happening from the store manager. I'm very scared of the store manager I don't want to go back and talk to her because I do not know what she thinks of the whole situation and I do not know how she would react.

[rusty pins]

Another girl I met on fetlife I told her what happened. The girl I messaged supports my fetish and doesn't go around telling other people what my fetish is. She works where I work and keeps it to her self.

Hmmmmmm. Now there is another person on fetlife who works where you do? I'm starting to become a little sceptical of this situation.

[notababy]

I'm very scared of the store manager I don't want to go back and talk to her because I do not know what she thinks of the whole situation and I do not know how she would react.

It's her job to react appropriately. If not, she's potentially exposing herself and the company to legal harm.

If you're really "scared" of her, you need a new job with a new boss.

Another girl I met on fetlife I told her what happened. The girl I messaged supports my fetish and doesn't go around telling other people what my fetish is. She works where I work and keeps it to her self.

Not to be rude, but you're an idiot.

You go back to the same site that caused you trouble and now you're engaging in sexual conversations discussing fetishes with someone else in your workplace? Aside from being unbelievable that there'd be this many ADBL (or ABDL friendly) folks in your workplace, didn't you yourself say "the store manager agreed that they shouldn't have brought personal life into work" and "I didn't want anyone to know but they kept telling people"???

[sarah_ab]

so i didn't read all the reponses but his only options are NOT to quit or move on... what they are doing is blatant sexual harassmanet so what the OP needs to do is tell the manager this is blatant sexual harassment and if it is not cleared up by the end of business you WILL be contacting an attorney.

Than be serious, call the corporate hotline if the manager does not clear up the problem. The manager has had more than enough time to take action and has not. This is ILLEGAL for the employees to be doing what they are doing, and for the manager to not stop it is also ILLEGAL!

you are well within your right to contact an attorney and to call Human resources at a corporate level. I suggest you do this. As well anytime you hear someone say something, whip out a notebook and write down the person, what they said and the time. When somene asks what you are doing, inform them you are keeping track of their illegal sexual harassment activities so when you turn your report into Human Resources they know exactly who is doing what. Do this around any managers as well.

You have rights in this situation. Yes you were stupid to put a face pic on a fetish website... HOWEVER.... this does not excuse this behavior happening in the work place.

*EDIT* because I had not read notababy's response above.. yeah talking to a coworker about a fetish online is NOT a smart idea either, this could be construed as YOU engaging in sexual harassment... basically at this point, you are not helping yourself and are actually kinda working to screw yourself over even more....

Your manager still needs to take action against these people who are making comments and YOU need to rip your picture down, change ur profile, no longer talk about a sexual fetish with a coworker unless you two are going to start having an actual relationship.. and learn boundaries my friend.....

[Guest]

Thank you for the last reply someone said it was not sexual harrassment it is. It is because it is a fetish I now know the appropriate term. The associate that knows others are teasing me for it confronted the associate with two witness she said he tried denying then admitted to doing it. AFTER the associate that talked to the guy the guy associate that was telling everyone my fetish has not disrespected me at all used any language or even crack a joke. The associate that confronted him said he had a very scared look on his face when she said something to him. The girl associate with two associates works second shift though.

On black friday the store manager was there the whole 12 hour shift over night. She saw me and said hey nickname. I just said hey back I didn't even look at her though. I don't know what she thinks so I am still scared I do believe an associate got fired for a comment he said to me I have not seen him since I turned in the statement its been a week now someone said that he posted a comment on facebook stating that he worked at the same place. Worked is past pretence so he quit or he got fired for what he said but I need to find out what is going on with the investigation this monday.

[Diapers4Me]

I have a face picture of me on fetlife for the last 2-3 years I have been with them. Thats how they knew it was me. I'm lucky I didn't upload a picture of me wearing a diaper on there or she would have showed every body at work. I don't go around telling everybody her list of fetishes I don't understand why she went around telling other people what my fetishes were. I don't understand people and I don't understand why she would do that. But she only joined fetlife 3 months ago which makes me very pissed off, That is not what the sites intentions were to go around and spread every body elses fetishes but to learn from other people instead.

Which is why I don't post face pics

[bloom]

@dongiomj - I'm sorry to hear that story. It sounds absolutely horrible.

Listen, at the end of the day you have a ton of people here who understand and can commiserate (most of them). This will pass eventually. Stay strong and don't let them get to you. And especially don't let them SEE that they are getting to you, because they will be worse about it. Act like it isn't a big deal (to people who are giving you a hard time). So far as your boss is concerned, I am not an attorney, but this does sound like sexual harrassment. Don't put up with any shit. You're strong! You will make it through! The onus is on the manager to stop this from happening.

To those of you who are saying his story is "false", I don't understand why. Before accusing someone of something like that, especially when their story describes a really shitty thing happening to them, you should be 100 percent certain of it before you respond in a way that is hurtful and unsupportive. I don't think dondiomj is making up a story, but even if I did think so, I wouldn't say so. and So far as dondiomj being an "idiot" for posting on fetlife, I certainly don't think so. I would especially expect people on this forum to understand a person wishing to find a partner who shares this fetish. It is difficult to do so while being completely anonymous online.

@dongiomj - I applaud you for being brave enough to post your info online. I know someone (a DL) who met another DL on fetlife and they have been together for several months. In your situation, you just happened to have very, very bad luck. I would be more discreet in the future, but I would not let this stop you from trying to find a partner with the same interests.

Keep your head up!

[notababy]

So far as dondiomj being an "idiot" for posting on fetlife, I certainly don't think so.

If you're going to quote me, let's be clear. An idiot for posting on Fetlife? Absolutely not. I have an FL account.

An idiot for interacting with THIRD co-worker on FL after all this starts from his FL being personally identifiable and recognized by a coworker then having that information spread around at work and potentially used to harass him? Absolutely. After having problems already and complaining about the crossover between work and sexuality, he not only doesn't take steps to bolster his privacy, he engages a different co-worker in a discussion about sexuality (who now, apparently, has become personally involved in terms of confronting other co-workers, etc. while an internal investigation is going on)? That's what's idiotic.

Do I engage in aspects of sexuality that if my general pool of friends and co-workers knew about I'd be likely to get teased about? Absolutely... I'm here, aren't I? This certainly isn't "mainstream" even among fetishes. So I take steps to enhance my privacy - things like not posting personal information on general sites like FL (or even here on DD). And were this to "come out" at work, it's certainly not something I'd engage with people about unless they directly engaged me first. Allowing third-party co-workers sympathetic to my cause to help fight my fight might feel compassionate but it really just makes something that should't be an issue into an issue because it draws in more and more attention, involves more and more people, and becomes something management can't ignore that, like it or not, I end up at the center of.

Don - you got outed. It sucks. It's potentially embarassing. Teasing sucks, even from ignorant people. In the case of the workplace, it's likely a violation of policy that needs to be rectified, and if you're discriminated against or the workplace becomes hostile to you, it's a legal issue. Minimize the damage and move on. Whether that means a new job around new people, or the same job with the same people will depend on how things get handled and how you handle them. Making things bigger and involving more people doesn't seem like the right way to go. Show up, do your job, go home.

[Guest]

The third co worker supports my fetish and does not go around work telling every body. The third co worker wanted to go to the store manager to let her know what was going on since she was furious with the associate that was going around telling every body. I talked with the manager and checked up on things. She said that she is not finding anything in the investigation. Which really upsets me. Either associates are denying everything or lying to them to stay out of trouble. I did not tell her that. But I told the manager about the third associate she said don't do anything that would get you fired. I told her I met her on fet life. I did not know she was an associate till she told me she was and I told the manager that the associate wanted to go to the store manager to tell her that I'm being bullied. But I all so told the manager she confronted the associate that was telling everybody what was my fetish. I told her that she said that the associate tried to deny it at first but admitted to doing it and that he had a scared look on his face. I told her that the third associate said she had 2 women witness when she confronted him. The manager asked me who it was. I told her I can not tell you who it is yet. I told her that I'm not going to tell her unless she wants me to tell you. She said if you have witness then tell them to please come forward to them. I had to condense my statement on to another paper and sign a few things. I wrote out another statement. I'm going to keep writing statements until the harrassment stops I did not say that to the manager.

The manager said that she can not fire everybody that is involved cracking jokes but she can help address the issue with other associates..

[notababy]

Don - I'm not in your shoes, but from the outside looking in, you're handling this wrong. I'm not going to continue to post here because I don't want to seem like I'm attacking you. Please take this as just my experience... as an employee and a manager.

The fact that you're now "playing games" with a third associate... and TWO MORE "witnesses"... that you have now told your manager that you won't reveal (i.e. "I won't follow procedure, I'm going to do my own thing my own way") sends her the signal that she's getting a very biased story from you that will cause her to doubt the validity of it, especially how "deep" it really is vs. you "just being emotional" about something she likely doesn't want to be involved in anyway - your [abnormal] sex life.

At this point the common issue in every problem so far is you. She's already said she's not finding anything, which isn't surprising (that coworkers are lying) and now you have told her point blank you won't follow the process and help her.

Take from that what you will - if I'm her, I now don't have the leg I need to stand on in terms of you not being a part of the problem and being able to trust what you say... I have to balance that against everyone else's story, which is never going to match yours.

Good luck... and this really does suck. You have my sympathy there. At least you have the comfort and solace of a soft, snuggly diaper?

[SoakedinTexas]

If I was the manager after you left my office I would have closed the files and wrote on it "Closed due to lack of cooperation from complainant.” I have conducted many investigations over the years from simple harassment to sexual assault and many others. Once I have a complainant come to me and tell me that they have information that will help their case but can’t tell me what it is I close the file. I feel that there is no reason for me to go out of my way to help someone that don’t want to come clean with all the information that will help their case. You either need to man up and give the manager all the information that they need to do the job right or leave the manager alone.

[rusty pins]

If I was the manager after you left my office I would have closed the files and wrote on it "Closed due to lack of cooperation from complainant.” I have conducted many investigations over the years from simple harassment to sexual assault and many others. Once I have a complainant come to me and tell me that they have information that will help their case but can’t tell me what it is I close the file. I feel that there is no reason for me to go out of my way to help someone that don’t want to come clean with all the information that will help their case. You either need to man up and give the manager all the information that they need to do the job right or leave the manager alone.

Exactly! If you really want something done about this, tell everything you know, give names of people that over heard the harassment, give all the info you can! Like Soakedin Texas says, you appear to want something done about this but you are not cooperating with giving out information that can help you!

[Guest]

I'm going back to tell the manager. I asked the associate if it was all right to give the manager her name she said it was ok. So I'm going to go back to talk to the manager and let her know.

I found one of the associates that witnessed her confronting the guy associate and what guy associate said to her. I asked her if she worked wednesday and she said yes. Then I asked her if a lady associate confronted the guy associate she said she saw and heard it. I asked her if she could write a statement on what he said and she said. She said she would write the statement and give it to me. I asked her to give it to the manager instead she said she could. I'm not sure if the guy associate mentioned my fetish in front of the two witness. But I do know that it was about him bullying me and him trying to deny it so I hope it will clear things up for the manager investigating it knowing this associate was in fact bullying me.

I had my reasons not to tell the manager the associates name that confronted the guy associate because I wasn't sure if the associate was clocked in or not. I thought she walked up in the store overnight to tell him which I was afraid of. But it turned out she confronted him before clocking out. I feel more comfortable giving her name knowing she was clocked in.

[Guest]

I was brought to the office. the store managers assistant manager had another witness. The manager asked me a bunch of questions that I had to reply to. I told her the associates name that confronted the guy associate and told him to stop. she got pissed off because she wanted to wrap up the investigation but now she has to find out more and get more statements. She asked me how did they find out I like to wear diapers I told her because the guy associate told them in front of me. When they asked me about a picture on the couch with a dildo I told them I don't remember or I didn't write that in the statement. She said shell come back to it. She kept asking questions and I explained everything I was crying she told me to hang in there and to take deep breaths kiddo. She came back to the dildo part and she said I didn't write it and that someone does have a picture and explained I need to talk to who ever has it and tell them to delete it. So I got the feeling she does believe me. I all so told her that I don't want to see the third associate get in trouble for telling the guy associate to stop what he was doing.

[diaperquilt]

It is never too late to be proud. I know because I love my little pony and almost ruined it with the rule# and erotica. Story short I have healed and now look at them innocently again.

Some one asked me about mlp fetish and I went silent because in my whole heart I believe that lying is wrong. I asked her to keep it a secret but some how it got out to some one that has a problem with saying jokes that are not appropriate for work.

I am a proud to be a brony because I have something special. You have something special that you will be able to share with some one that will love you diapers and all. They are out there and I am waiting for mine as well.

I hope this helps as much as your post did for me. To any one who wants to say anything about my story. Private message me so this can stay on topic.

[diapertime42]

Hmm... someone here could take points from this and come up with a good story!

"The store manager looked at the "outed" employee sitting in her office, she could feel his pain as he detailed his story, between quiet sobs and shivers. How could she tell him that her deepest desire at that moment was to gently lay him on the carpeted floor and pin him into soft thick diapers?

Perhaps actions would speak louder than words, she thought, as she opened her lower desk drawer. Slowly, she pulled out the "special supplies" she'd locked away in that drawer so many months ago, just waiting for the right candidate. The employee stopped speaking and looked up, as he heard what sounded like the unmistakeable rustle of plastic panties......"

Well, that's all I got...

[Guest]

haha no... managers can't have relationships with associates or both can be fired even if its just a bonding fetish. it might be a week or two before the investigation is closed but I wont find out anything till i talk to the store manager again. But I'll let her know that because of what the two associates did I do not feel comfortable working around these two associates and I'll tell her that they made me so embarrassed that they all most made me want to quit but I don't want to loose my job... but I'm hoping these two associates do get fired for what they did. I'm not mentioning any names or anything itd make things a whole lot easier to explain whats going on but if I mention any names or anything and a manager happens to come across this post then it might come back to bite me and I'm not going to let that happen so I can't mention any names.

Oh ya... I'm 22 now so why does my real age still say 21 my bday was like 6 days ago.

[sarah_ab]

you have to manually change ur age, for some reason its not linked to your birthday so doesn't roll over automatically.

[willyrides]

Sounds like you work with a lot of immature people. Go to college. Study a subject where there are good jobs waiting after graduating. Good Job = good pay, benefits, 401k, professional behavior required. It sounds like you work in a retail environment. Keep in mind, only the store manager needs a college education, everyone else just needs a pulse. Finally, try to be more discerning on whom you divulge information to when you don't want everyone to know everything about you. This will help you in protecting yourself relating to relationships and identity theft.

In the near term, it will be tough going to work after all this, you will have to fight everyday. If you choose to get another job, there is the risk that this could follow you. If you go for another job, you might consider one that has people who are a little more mature about this kind of thing and would be more inclined to protect you than to ridicule you. A healthcare environment may be the way to go.

Good luck.

[sarah_ab]

wow really? every single work place has gossips, has innappropriate and immature behavior, every single work place is going to have problems if you tell someone you work with on a fetish site who you are.....

every single work place is going to have managers and HR people who suck and don't do what they are suppposed to.

its called living in the real world.... the best that will come out of this, aside from this workplace realizing you won't be walked over, is that now you know to be FAR more cautious on the internet and what your rights are as an employee.

[Guest]

When I filed statements the manager investigating slapped a black file cabinet and said that this place is just like high school thats why we have this file cabinet here. But its just the store manager and her assistant that knows my fetish and other associates that were told. The overnight assistant managers don't even know whats going on.

I got the feeling the manager does believe me about whats going on. But I don't even know whats happening they won't even tell me even though I'm the one that filed the statement. Its because they don't want any kind of retaliation at all. But I'm not sure if anyone has come forward about whats going on. I told the manager this one associate knows what that associate did. The associate was called in the office and was talked to for an hour. This associate usually lies so if he lied he would have been in the office for 10 minutes but I think he came forward and told her the truth since he was in the office for an hour. But like I said I don't know if anyone has come forward yet but I think someone did because when I gave the manager the associates name she asked me how heavily is he involved and I told her that hes not that heavy because he told me that everybody has there own quirks and she said thats good even though he cracked a joke about the pink dildo I owned. I told her we were just talking and the associate brought up that he saw my fetlife before the associate went around telling everybody he just didn't say anything. I told him thank you. But I didn't tell the manager we were talking about crossdressers walking into the womans bathroom. So If she calls me in the office and she asks me if we were talking about walking in the womans bathroom and there accidently being a crossdresser in the bathroom then I would know that he told her the truth what the associate did telling everybody my fetish and about my fetlife profile.

[Nat]

wow really? every single work place has gossips, has innappropriate and immature behavior, every single work place is going to have problems if you tell someone you work with on a fetish site who you are.....

every single work place is going to have managers and HR people who suck and don't do what they are suppposed to.

its called living in the real world.... the best that will come out of this, aside from this workplace realizing you won't be walked over, is that now you know to be FAR more cautious on the internet and what your rights are as an employee.

Weird, none of my work place has that. Either I haven't noticed or there are not many of us there.

[Guest]

That one associate that I said lies that was called in the office for an hour I heard something interesting. I was told as he was walking out that he told an associate that it was his job. Well I think that statement I wrote on the dildo did the trick. I think the manager investigating threatened his job so he decided to tell the truth because after that the manager investigating didn't have anymore questions for me. But I think the girl associate that told the guy associate lied to the manager because the manager had to ask one of the associates that cracked a joke about my dildo if I said anything to him about me messaging the girl associates girlfriend on fetlife. I'm sure the girl associate lied to the manager. Lying in the investigation I do believe is retaliation... because it messes up the whole investigation if someone lies. But I still won't know whats going on till the investigation is done because they don't want any retaliation.

[diapertime42]

I'm still waiting to hear what the 2nd associate said to the 4th associate when the 1st associate was on break and the 3rd associate was heating his soup in the microwave in the lunch room.... No, wait.... I think the 3rd associate is a girl.

I think I have a headache now.