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Double-Yew Tee Eff?


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Get back to me when you and your classmates are twice your age and we'll compare notes again. Go ahead, I'll wait. I've been at this longer than you've been alive.

Just because I'm younger than you doesn't make my opinion any less valid. When you use your age to discredit me without providing other reasons to back it, I'm honestly going to lose respect for you and your argument.

<snip because I don't want to spam anyone with more text than I already am>

Some kid on the internet taking his stories away when he gets upset because someone offered critique is not an example of a codependent relationship. This is an example of a codepdent relationship:

  • The codependent who lives with a violent man watches him to assess his moods, walks on eggshells to keep upsetting things away from him, watches what she says so he won't get mad, etc.

  • A codependent boyfriend might keep his needs to himself. He doesn't voice an opinion until he sees what his girlfriend believes, so he won't come into conflict with her.

http://www.here-to-l...ency-signs.html

If you're trying to say that he's the abuser in this relationship... that is absurd. We're not in any way dependent on his stories. We don't know this guy and don't have any attachment to him like one does in an actual, offline codependent relationship. We might have emotional attachment to his characters, but even so, attachment to a character is something that can be overcome far easier than having an alcoholic father or an abusive partner. If the worst he can do is take a story away, he's a really shitty abuser and needs to work on his technique.

And rather than having helicopter parents, codependents tend to have shitty family lives:

One of many definitions of codependency is: a set of *maladaptive, *compulsive behaviors learned by family members in order to survive in a family which is experiencing *great emotional pain and stress.

*maladaptive - inability for a person to develop behaviors which get needs met.

*compulsive - psychological state where a person acts against their own will or conscious desires in which to behave.

*sources of great emotional pain and stress - chemical dependency; chronic mental illness; chronic physical illness; physical abuse; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; divorce; hypercritical or non-loving environment.

http://www.allaboutc...odependency.htm

http://mentalhealtha...go/codependency

Also, I think he was a narcissist fishing for compliment/sympathy and hoping we'd beg him to come back, he'd just threaten to delete his stories rather than actually do it. Did he do this before he deleted it or did he just disappear with no explanation?

If he's deleted his account too (anyone remember his username?), then it's even more unlikely that he was expecting us to beg for him to come back, because we don't have any way to contact him personally. Unless he's lurking on the forums... which seems unlikely to me. If he lurks, he could just as likely end up reading your responses and this topic, as well reading a response from a different reader begging him to come back. If I was that sensitive, I'd stay as far away from the thing that upset me as I could possibly get and wouldn't want to risk going back.

Anyway, I don't think any of us can say what is wrong with him since we don't know him personally and can only make guesses on his rather confusing behavior. It would be more constructive to try to prevent other newbie writers from doing the same thing - or at least, prevent other writers from wasting their time offering critique to those who don't want to hear it.

I was writing a lesbian story for a while and posted it to the story board as the lgbt story board wasnt around. I think thats why most lesbian stories are on the main board because they may pre date the lgbt story board

That explains things, I guess.

Still, it's not so much that it's in the wrong forum that bothers, as that there's no warning for it. I don't really care which forum it ends up in, so long as there's a note about the content so I can safely say it's my own fault if I decide to read it. It's rather jarring when that happens and I'm not expecting it - it'd be like, I guess, a straight male's reaction to suddenly seeing gay sex in the middle of what seemed like heterosexual porn. ;p

I agree. I was grateful that I had teachers and peer reviewers in high school and college who could be critical about my writing, but not in a mean way.

Most of what I remember of high school is peer-reviewing... with students who had worse spelling and grammar skills than I did. I never learned much about writing from high school. Reading and analyzing stories, maybe, but not so much writing unless it was non-fiction. The teachers were often too busy (or didn't care enough?) to make constructive personal comments on a fiction story beyond pointing out spelling mistakes. College is different since they're getting paid to care more, and unlike high school, you can chose a good professor before you take the class.

Roleplay is what got me interested into it in the first place and that's what taught me to write, and why grammar and spelling was important. If you made glaringly obvious spelling/grammar errors, people would either get annoyed and point it out, or just not roleplay with you. If you tried to have your character hog the spotlight and be annoying, you'd get ignored. There were people who tolerated my horrible writing when I started out (probably because they'd been in the same position before and knew what it felt like), but not to the point of never offering criticism. Roleplaying is kind of like peer-reviewing, in a way.... or it is if you've got a good partner to learn from.

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Most of what I remember of high school is peer-reviewing... with students who had worse spelling and grammar skills than I did. I never learned much about writing from high school. Reading and analyzing stories, maybe, but not so much writing unless it was non-fiction. The teachers were often too busy (or didn't care enough?) to make constructive personal comments on a fiction story beyond pointing out spelling mistakes. College is different since they're getting paid to care more, and unlike high school, you can chose a good professor before you take the class.

I agree. And it was non-fiction that I got better at in high school. The same couldn't be said about my fiction until I got to college and took a good fiction writing course. I know that not every writer needs to be "certified," but I think every writer should be comfortable enough to let someone else critically read his or her story (whether a relative, a friend, or a perfect stranger) and learn from that person's review. It really made a difference for me and I think we can be the same for other users on this forum.

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Just because I'm younger than you doesn't make my opinion any less valid. When you use your age to discredit me without providing other reasons to back it, I'm honestly going to lose respect for you and your argument.

Out of context. Your adult life experiences are such a small fraction of your entire life that you can't possibly have seen or heard as much as you imagine. You forget I was 18, 21, 25, 30 once and the older I get the more I didn't know. When I was your age my dad used to tell me, "You need to get a job while you still know it all." You come off a lot like that. Calling it like I see 'cause I'm old enough not give too much of a shit what people think about what I say. I've observed it and it looks like repeating history to me. You know what they say about people that don't learn from history? They are doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past.

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Out of context. Your adult life experiences are such a small fraction of your entire life that you can't possibly have seen or heard as much as you imagine. You forget I was 18, 21, 25, 30 once and the older I get the more I didn't know. When I was your age my dad used to tell me, "You need to get a job while you still know it all." You come off a lot like that. Calling it like I see 'cause I'm old enough not give too much of a shit what people think about what I say. I've observed it and it looks like repeating history to me. You know what they say about people that don't learn from history? They are doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past.

I will offer this counterpoint. One of my dearest friends lived more life before he turned 18 than most people do in the 60 years afterward. Try attending HS while living homeless in the ghettos of DC, fighting for your life.

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I will offer this counterpoint. One of my dearest friends lived more life before he turned 18 than most people do in the 60 years afterward. Try attending HS while living homeless in the ghettos of DC, fighting for your life.

I came of age under Carter and know homeless. I surfed couches for a while myself. I was the working poor all through college. I saw a lot of the world on the cheap and had a gun held on me by a drunk redneck as I repo'd his 4x4. Everybody has had an interesting life so far.

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I came of age under Carter and know homeless. I surfed couches for a while myself. I was the working poor all through college. I saw a lot of the world on the cheap and had a gun held on me by a drunk redneck as I repo'd his 4x4. Everybody has had an interesting life so far.

Oh, I'm just saying, not everyone who is just out of high school also lacks life experience.

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Oh, I'm just saying, not everyone who is just out of high school also lacks life experience.

If they do, it probably tends to be very one sided. There's a reason they call it "years of experience" and its true. I didn't believe half what the older folks used to tell me growing up. Now I have come to see it was much more than the ramblings of some old person.

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